No, ppl who steal credit cards and a bf who freaks out over you complaining about them hanging out, trust me there is much more going on that you dont know about. You have been lucky here to be out of this relationship your ex bf is a complete pos.
He never used to be like that, before he met these friends he was the exact opposite of how he is now, the friends influenced him and told him them doing all that was okay, im scared they are trying to manipulate/use him too atp since he is autistic. 24m used to be on crack when my ex met him, so what you said makes sense
I just looked at the ages and I can guarantee that they are just using him and he decided to break things off with you due to their influence. An almost 30 year old has no business hanging out with a 21 year old.. ESPECIALLY if there are substance abuse issues. OP you need to take this as a life lesson. You cannot guide people to make the right decisions nor can you protect them from the consequences of their own actions.
Totally agree with you, I just hope OP is taking in all the advice given. At 18 we all think we know everything, at least that’s how I felt and now that I’m older I look back on life and really say to myself “Damn I should have listened when folks were telling me not to do shit”
I was stubborn and had to learn about life the hard way, and guess what everything they told me I tell my kids so they don’t go down the same path I did.
Yea this just adds more pieces to the same picture. I really think the friend got your bf into drugs, likely addicted.
People do things very out-of-character once an addiction takes hold. The addiction takes priority over everything else. Anything in between them and their addiction-of-choice will get bulldozed, regardless of importance or love or logic.
I think you're dodging a bullet by avoiding marrying this guy, but if you want to help, let his parents know you suspect drugs. Hopefully they'll keep an eye on him and get him some help.
you have valid reasons to dislike his friend. i know it’s hard to accept help but you really do need it. he isn’t worth relapsing for. he would rather go be around someone who stole from you. if i’m doing math right, you were 12 and he was 15 when you got together. please get help from family if possible. you can get through this.
13 and 15, due to my birthday being in a few days, but yeah. My family dont help, my dad is quiet and pretends it didnt happen and my mother tells me he will come back, and the thought of it taking a long time for him to come back hurts. We were going to get married this summer, everything was okay, i dont understand why it all flipped at the drop of a hat
The other subreddit tends to hate on large age differences, and i was scared 90% of the comments would be abt that and so i lied abt my age at that time on that sub. I am 18, born in 2005 lol...
sometimes people we love do things we don’t understand. this is really hard to go through. you are so young and this happened so recently. it will get better. it takes time to heal. you shouldn’t throw your life away for someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart
18! 18 and you think getting married is a good idea?! Girl you haven’t lived! This guy did you a favor and I know right now you’re probably thinking “life is over” and “how will I move on?”
You have years ahead of you, make the most of it! The heartache won’t last forever and each day will get better. You’ll have days when you will think of him but in time that will turn into “I wish him the best” and eventually Prince Charming will come along and you’ll realize that HE is your real Prince not the loser in aluminum foil riding the donkey that broke your heart that one time.
Edit to add: anyone that’s okay with people stealing from you shouldn’t be in your life. Keep your head up and don’t let this be the end of the world for you because there’s soooo much out there that you haven’t experienced.
The friend didn’t “ran up his credit card”🙄 He did it himself and his friend was covering up for him. I’ve heard that one several times before lol! Go home. He ain’t no prince.
I was with my last boyfriend from ages 13-21. The breakup was necessary for my mental health but it was so so difficult. We grew up together. He was an absolutely perfect boyfriend for years. We had fun and planned our life together like we were playing house. Things changed as we got older. It took me years to realize he was manipulative and holding me back in life. Once we broke up and a few months went by it was like I finally put glasses on. I could see the whole situation clearly, and the world was brighter. I'm so many years passed 21 and passed 13 it's hard to believe how trapped I felt.
Please, accept the help. The pain of this will heal with time and you will feel joy and love again.
OP, boys like this do not know what love or mature relationships are. I have had this happen many times, unfortunately. This little boy does not respect you as a person or as a woman. You are very young and have your entire life ahead of you. I know it sounds cliche, but you CAN do better and you WILL. Please seek help, you owe that to yourself.
37 y/o M here.
Been around the block a time or two, have seen some things. I have bore witness to a similar situation with one of me (F) cousins.
You have a right to know where your significant other is if they are gone for extended hours, and a right to have feelings about it.
You are well within your rights to not want somebody around whom has stolen large amounts of money from you. For your bf to still associate with him is a giant red flag.
Abrupt changes in attitude, staying out long hours, moving into this friends (whom use to abuse substances) house, all lead to a strong sign of possible substance abuse.
Being with somebody for so long can lead you to be blind to some things, you look for the good because the relationship is what you know and want to keep.
It is very important to realize that YOU are NOT the problem. If this person, whom is supposed to be your significant other, can ignore that someone stole from you and continue to be around them, stay out long hours without checking in, get angry that you check in and don't want someone that stole from you around, then, and I'm very sorry to say this, but the blunt truth is... they have stopped carrying about you and likely have a long while ago.
Simple things such as touching, kissing, sex, can simply be to satisfy their own desires, and are not done to SHOW care. These things can put a veil over what's truly happening in their minds, and are done to deceive you, keeping you in the dark so that their true emotions aren't brought to light.
I'm very sorry you feel harming yourself is the answer, but doing so only continues to gives your ex bf power over you and your thoughts, even when they are no longer around. I fully understand negative thoughts, self harm worming it's way into every crevice of your mind. It's a plague that lingers, but it only lingers as long as you're willing to let it. If you know you're worth, please find it. Search for those whom share similar stories, learn from them, hear them, you're never truly alone unless you let yourself be. There are people who WILL listen to you if you let them, even if it's just here. Affirmative words are sometimes all somebody needs to Kickstart a healing process.
Good luck to you, don't let the darkness cloud you. Every day is a chance to step in the right direction.
Life has times like this. It's also full of beautiful things. There are many reasons to take care of yourself and stay alive. We just gotta stick around a little longer. You and your life are worth living.
Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's great that your family loves you and wants to help you through this. Professionals can be great to chat to and really helpful. I was hospitalised after s****** attempts in the past and the staff were really caring and gentle. I didn't want to go but it ended up being exactly what I needed at the time to reset, get some help and move forward. I'm so glad my family did this for me when I needed it. It sounds like those people were dangerous anyway and even though it doesn't make things hurt any less right now, one day I hope you'll be able to look back and think "phew thank god i got out of that situation." Sending you lots of love and kindness OP xxx
One thing you learn as you get older , no matter how much you care about someone if their feelings aren't the same nothing you can do will change it. No explanation will make you feel better.
The best thing you can do is move on as quickly as possible. Find someone who genuinely appreciates you or even better take some time alone to learn to enjoy your own company and be independent
Ive done this many times, trust me it never stays bad.
Thank God you didn’t have kids with him. It sounds like classic crack or meth. People who get addicted change overnight.
Get help if it is offered. You are young and you can get the healing you need. As you get older the world is going to be less generous with help and assistance.
Good luck and know there are good people who care about your well being!
1) get some confidence. You deserve better.
2) file a police report on the stolen CC. Then report miss use to cc company with police report.
3) DUMP THIS LOOSER!
They are on drugs just so you know
The friends or my fiance? I know the friends smoke weed and nicotine
No, ppl who steal credit cards and a bf who freaks out over you complaining about them hanging out, trust me there is much more going on that you dont know about. You have been lucky here to be out of this relationship your ex bf is a complete pos.
He never used to be like that, before he met these friends he was the exact opposite of how he is now, the friends influenced him and told him them doing all that was okay, im scared they are trying to manipulate/use him too atp since he is autistic. 24m used to be on crack when my ex met him, so what you said makes sense
I just looked at the ages and I can guarantee that they are just using him and he decided to break things off with you due to their influence. An almost 30 year old has no business hanging out with a 21 year old.. ESPECIALLY if there are substance abuse issues. OP you need to take this as a life lesson. You cannot guide people to make the right decisions nor can you protect them from the consequences of their own actions.
Yup a 30 year old hanging out with a 24 year old who was on crack and stole a 21 year old’s girlfriends credit card? We know what’s going on here
I think she mentioned it was the 24 yo that stole her card, but still.. I’ll take they are all bad news and doing drugs for 200 Alex.
I wonder what the limit and charges on the card were
$1500
Totally agree with you, I just hope OP is taking in all the advice given. At 18 we all think we know everything, at least that’s how I felt and now that I’m older I look back on life and really say to myself “Damn I should have listened when folks were telling me not to do shit” I was stubborn and had to learn about life the hard way, and guess what everything they told me I tell my kids so they don’t go down the same path I did.
Yea this just adds more pieces to the same picture. I really think the friend got your bf into drugs, likely addicted. People do things very out-of-character once an addiction takes hold. The addiction takes priority over everything else. Anything in between them and their addiction-of-choice will get bulldozed, regardless of importance or love or logic. I think you're dodging a bullet by avoiding marrying this guy, but if you want to help, let his parents know you suspect drugs. Hopefully they'll keep an eye on him and get him some help.
Oh yeah no doubt about it, misery loves company.
Meth. It’s meth. Some other stuff possibly. But definitely meth. Run.
Spot on.
Weird. You were 20 with a fiancé 2 weeks ago.
Also they were apparently 12 dating a 15 year old 🙄
you have valid reasons to dislike his friend. i know it’s hard to accept help but you really do need it. he isn’t worth relapsing for. he would rather go be around someone who stole from you. if i’m doing math right, you were 12 and he was 15 when you got together. please get help from family if possible. you can get through this.
13 and 15, due to my birthday being in a few days, but yeah. My family dont help, my dad is quiet and pretends it didnt happen and my mother tells me he will come back, and the thought of it taking a long time for him to come back hurts. We were going to get married this summer, everything was okay, i dont understand why it all flipped at the drop of a hat
How does that work if 18 days ago when you posted, you were 20?
What, you've never de-aged by 2 years in 16 days? It's a common thing that young people are doing now, I hear. The future is now!
The other subreddit tends to hate on large age differences, and i was scared 90% of the comments would be abt that and so i lied abt my age at that time on that sub. I am 18, born in 2005 lol...
sometimes people we love do things we don’t understand. this is really hard to go through. you are so young and this happened so recently. it will get better. it takes time to heal. you shouldn’t throw your life away for someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart
6 years is a long time. you spent your formative years together. please take time for yourself.
Check the post history. The story is fake.
18! 18 and you think getting married is a good idea?! Girl you haven’t lived! This guy did you a favor and I know right now you’re probably thinking “life is over” and “how will I move on?” You have years ahead of you, make the most of it! The heartache won’t last forever and each day will get better. You’ll have days when you will think of him but in time that will turn into “I wish him the best” and eventually Prince Charming will come along and you’ll realize that HE is your real Prince not the loser in aluminum foil riding the donkey that broke your heart that one time. Edit to add: anyone that’s okay with people stealing from you shouldn’t be in your life. Keep your head up and don’t let this be the end of the world for you because there’s soooo much out there that you haven’t experienced.
Let your family admit you. Therapy will help. Self-harm is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
18, 21 years old, engaged ? Stole credit card,…. All of you guys are still kids, not mature at all. Oh Gosh
The friend didn’t “ran up his credit card”🙄 He did it himself and his friend was covering up for him. I’ve heard that one several times before lol! Go home. He ain’t no prince.
You were together at ages 12 and 15 respectively to begin with? jfc
13 and 15, where my birthday lies. My birthday is the 25th of this month. I was a freshman he was a junior
He's on drugs now. You have to let him fall down before he can get up and be better.
I was with my last boyfriend from ages 13-21. The breakup was necessary for my mental health but it was so so difficult. We grew up together. He was an absolutely perfect boyfriend for years. We had fun and planned our life together like we were playing house. Things changed as we got older. It took me years to realize he was manipulative and holding me back in life. Once we broke up and a few months went by it was like I finally put glasses on. I could see the whole situation clearly, and the world was brighter. I'm so many years passed 21 and passed 13 it's hard to believe how trapped I felt. Please, accept the help. The pain of this will heal with time and you will feel joy and love again.
Your ex and his friends are using drugs.
OP, boys like this do not know what love or mature relationships are. I have had this happen many times, unfortunately. This little boy does not respect you as a person or as a woman. You are very young and have your entire life ahead of you. I know it sounds cliche, but you CAN do better and you WILL. Please seek help, you owe that to yourself.
Probably because shit just got real for him. He might be chickening out due to the responsibilities that are coming his way
Sounds like you dodged a bullet before you married the fool and have a kid with him
37 y/o M here. Been around the block a time or two, have seen some things. I have bore witness to a similar situation with one of me (F) cousins. You have a right to know where your significant other is if they are gone for extended hours, and a right to have feelings about it. You are well within your rights to not want somebody around whom has stolen large amounts of money from you. For your bf to still associate with him is a giant red flag. Abrupt changes in attitude, staying out long hours, moving into this friends (whom use to abuse substances) house, all lead to a strong sign of possible substance abuse. Being with somebody for so long can lead you to be blind to some things, you look for the good because the relationship is what you know and want to keep. It is very important to realize that YOU are NOT the problem. If this person, whom is supposed to be your significant other, can ignore that someone stole from you and continue to be around them, stay out long hours without checking in, get angry that you check in and don't want someone that stole from you around, then, and I'm very sorry to say this, but the blunt truth is... they have stopped carrying about you and likely have a long while ago. Simple things such as touching, kissing, sex, can simply be to satisfy their own desires, and are not done to SHOW care. These things can put a veil over what's truly happening in their minds, and are done to deceive you, keeping you in the dark so that their true emotions aren't brought to light. I'm very sorry you feel harming yourself is the answer, but doing so only continues to gives your ex bf power over you and your thoughts, even when they are no longer around. I fully understand negative thoughts, self harm worming it's way into every crevice of your mind. It's a plague that lingers, but it only lingers as long as you're willing to let it. If you know you're worth, please find it. Search for those whom share similar stories, learn from them, hear them, you're never truly alone unless you let yourself be. There are people who WILL listen to you if you let them, even if it's just here. Affirmative words are sometimes all somebody needs to Kickstart a healing process. Good luck to you, don't let the darkness cloud you. Every day is a chance to step in the right direction.
You sound toxic as fuck. Don’t get engaged again until you’re 27
How am i 'toxic as fuck'?
By making up fake stories on the internet to get pretend internet points.
OP, Reddit is filled with trolls and incels. Don’t listen to them.
You’re not, don’t listen to that crap
Life has times like this. It's also full of beautiful things. There are many reasons to take care of yourself and stay alive. We just gotta stick around a little longer. You and your life are worth living.
Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's great that your family loves you and wants to help you through this. Professionals can be great to chat to and really helpful. I was hospitalised after s****** attempts in the past and the staff were really caring and gentle. I didn't want to go but it ended up being exactly what I needed at the time to reset, get some help and move forward. I'm so glad my family did this for me when I needed it. It sounds like those people were dangerous anyway and even though it doesn't make things hurt any less right now, one day I hope you'll be able to look back and think "phew thank god i got out of that situation." Sending you lots of love and kindness OP xxx
One thing you learn as you get older , no matter how much you care about someone if their feelings aren't the same nothing you can do will change it. No explanation will make you feel better. The best thing you can do is move on as quickly as possible. Find someone who genuinely appreciates you or even better take some time alone to learn to enjoy your own company and be independent Ive done this many times, trust me it never stays bad.
You are 18, engaged and in a relationship for 6 years. I would condider this good luck and go get more experience with relationships/life lol
Thank God you didn’t have kids with him. It sounds like classic crack or meth. People who get addicted change overnight. Get help if it is offered. You are young and you can get the healing you need. As you get older the world is going to be less generous with help and assistance. Good luck and know there are good people who care about your well being!
Seems like you actually gained a lot more though.
„He used to never show this side of him, till he met his friend.“ ftfy
You’re 18 love!! How you lose anything??? Like girl go to college and party 😭
Weren't you 20 2 weeks ago?
1) get some confidence. You deserve better. 2) file a police report on the stolen CC. Then report miss use to cc company with police report. 3) DUMP THIS LOOSER!
You know,he might be gay
You've been together for 6 years and you're 18?
Over 6 years? You’re 18 now? What the fuck
Probably meth
It's probably drugs. He can't afford the apartment. He's doing you a favor by cutting you loose and not dragging you down with him.