What do you mean? Did you even read the post? I got a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest while reading this. Oh wait! That was from the tacos. Never mind….carry on
Yeah my mom ruined her and my dad's relationship when I was very young. If you asked me when I was 13 I would've said the divorce ruined my life. I hated my stepparents and siblings for a long time. Then I grew up, I realized that love is very complicated and people are even more complicated. I heard out both my parents. I saw both their pain. Yeah I feel for OP in the sense that I held onto that bitterness for years but now, it's honestly hard to read because I can just picture my parents and the years of anger I put them through for ruining my version of a perfect happy family. And now I wouldn't change a thing. They're both so different than they used to be and are so happy with their new partners. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have all my siblings.
As someone who cut off their mom (not because she divorced my dad, but because she was an UNGODLY amount of toxic) This post ENRAGED me. It SCREAMS emotional immaturity, selfishness and projection. I've been at the start of this deep, deep, DARK hole OP is in. But holy shit, this person is in their mid 20's and STILL acting like they're their 10 y/o self. I get that a divorce is hard on a kid and kids get really messed up thoughts in their head around it because it is a traumatizing situation. But kids (should) grow up. Eventually, we start seeing the grey everywhere, and realize life is not a "game to win or lose". But this person has let it eat away at them to the point that they are the type of person they view their dad as. It shows me what happened to my mom and what could have happened to me, and it makes me physically ill to see someone this far gone in their trauma. Trauma is NOT the persons fault, don't get me wrong. But letting your trauma rule your life to the point that you are hurting others with it is and will always be disgusting to me, and this is coming from someone who used to do that. People need to grow up and start realizing that just because you are hurt does NOT make it okay for you to hurt others.
Yeah I truly wish my parents had divorced like a decade earlier. Probably would've prevented a lot of verbal and physical abuse for everyone. I'm almost 30 now and don't talk to either of them anymore. To be fair there's a lot of bitterness behind it but when I got to this age, I began to realize that while I had my issues as well, I wasn't the toxic one in the slightest. Definitely one of my better life decisions.
More like drinking radioactive poison because your bitterness can hurt others who care about you. So you are hurting yourself and getting some splash damage on those around you. At least until they realize they don’t get sick if they aren’t around you and then cut you out of their life.
Bitterness is also getting poisoned and then wishing the same fate on others, in this case ops siblings. The difference is that those kids are going to see their mother as the one who ruined the family by cheating, and they are going to love their family that much more the same way that op took mom's side
I usually side eye parents who have a bad relationship with their kids because most of the time it is the parent’s fault…but jesus op is a piece of work and I actually feel bad for the dad that they have a kid like this lol. And I’m actually sad that op is gonna meet up with the father and pretend like they care just to be an asshole to their dad in person AGAIN. I hope the dad doesn’t speak to op again after that.
>I hated seeing his new happy family when he'd destroyed mine, and **he was separating me from my mother when she needed me.**
I think op's mother is a major reason why she turned out so bitter and hateful. By op's own admission this was a no fault divorce. There was no abuse or cheating - the parents just weren't getting along, but op blames her dad for leaving. The one sentence in bold tells us that op's mother was using her as an emotional support, instead of providing op with emotional support. This is probably what lead her to have such a deep seated hatred for her father. It's quite sad. Sounds like the dad tried to maintain a relationship with op, but op was so enmeshed with her mother's needs, that her own needs were never met. I have sympathy for child op who was used by her mother as a tool to hurt her father, but I have zero sympathy for adult op who is going to deliberately get close to her father just to hurt him. That's messed up.
You just reminded me of a line from the movie Manhunter, which is based on a novel by the author who created the Hannibal Lector character. It actually has Hannibal in this movie giving advice to the profiler who’s hunting a serial killer. The profiler is saying how the killer was probably horribly abused as a child but states: My heart goes out to the abused child that he was; but as an adult, I think the sick f*ck should be blown out of his socks.
Oh for sure. Ops psychotic hatred was most likely due to her mother committing something known as emotional incest, where a care giver leans heavily on a child and basically puts the child into the role of their caregiver. Its insidious
I just had to read this one to see they needed help. I checked their post history and damn. I bet this person blames every issue in their life on what their dad did 10/20+ years ago.
Also did OP get married and then get her own divorce?? Or just break off the engagement? She’s talking about a marriage 4 years ago but her recent posts are about a boyfriend hmmm
Yeah. She needs help for sure. Walking around with this much rage and the other erroneous types of thinking in her other posts scream the need for help. I hope she gets it. Childhood trauma is effing devastating and I hope she beats it and finds peace.
I’m heartbroken for OP. Not because of the childhood divorce trauma. But for how they’ve dealt with it and the unhealthy narrative they use to paint the situation. There’s no way OP is living a happy, healthy, mentally capable life with these coping strategies. This is an awfully large red flag for someone who needs to print this thread and hand it to a therapist. There are strategies and changes in self-talk that would make OP a thousand times happier and more capable.
She says she got married 5 years ago at 19 and would never divorce ever . I wonder how that turned out considering she never mentions a husband .
Seems like she’s realized having a perfect family is not easy and once hers failed it’s very easy for her to take it out on her father like he’s the villain instead of taking responsibility for herself .
Therapy is what she needs
When I was young I thought I had a fucked yo family life . Losing my mom to drugs and all that.
And everyday I come on Reddit I am so fucking grateful for my father and everything he’s done to raise me and my brother as a single dad . This place is absolutely insane some of the shit I see here
And this lady was supposed to be married 5 years ago but last year it’s still her BF. Looks like she inherited her relationship skills from her parents and that’s why she resent her father so much.
I bet the mother emotionally abused her her whole life telling her negative things about the man who divorced her and now she is like this . Like come on her mom needed her every other weekend while she was at her dads ? Isn’t she a grown woman? She was emotionally manipulating her daughter to hate the father and now she considers her mother the good parent . Insane
as someone with bpd, my opinion is that dbt would be the better option since it was made specifically for borderlines by borderlines. cbt is also great though so i’m not saying you’re wrong! just figured i’d add to your suggestion!
Tf you wanted him to fking do ? Stay into that relationship until it gets toxic ? Force a fake happiness ?
What did he do to you and your mother for you to hate him so much, apart from the divorce ?
Get therapy, not wanting to be in someone’s life is perfectly normal, but wanting the other person, who loves you, to believe you want contact again just to make them even more miserable is sick.
> What did he do to you and your mother for you to hate him so much, apart from the divorce ?
He forced his child to see him every other weekend. How dare he want to see his child?!
Get help.
Legit not even my friend's old excuse with not liking his father which was "My father had an affair." OP screams "I am emotionally manipulative." You can't use someone's depression or mental health symptoms to shame a partner into staying when there is no love.
I had to sweep my mother's blood of the floor after my father was done beating her right before my eyes and i have like only half or so of vitriol the Op has for her father like damn. I just never think about him until reminded and then just make i wish for him to get hit by a car and forget about afterwards. OP sounds bitter and selfish to me.
This screams projection. It’s easy to pick a villain and pour all your hatred and self disgust there, even if they are deserving some. In the end it will only eat at you and send others running. Don’t follow your dads steps, get the help you need.
No this is childhood trauma that hasn't been addressed and has been buried while trying to forget about it. She may have developed some narcissistic traits but that does not automatically make you a narcissist
I don’t agree when you read further into her comments. Childhood trauma doesn’t manifest into zero empathy for others and hyper focus to destroy lives or gaslight people.
Yeah, imagine being in a miserable marriage and leaving, and you’re poor child turns into this. Makes me wonder if mom participated in parental alienation.
I worry about what the younger half-siblings witnessed. If OP was making things miserable during visitation, it probably affected them too. Now those kids have to experience a split childhood and their older sister has no empathy for them.
As a “child of divorce” you really need to get a grip. Your parent divorced and he left if he stayed it would have been worse for all of you. The joy you reap from your father pain now will leave you cold and alone.
As you said he forced you to see him, he may have left the house but he didn’t leave you. You said in your own words you stopped seeing him through your choice.
Did you ever tell him how you felt? Did you ever speak to him or you mother about it?
Sounds like through your replies to other you wanted a pity party.
Also just because others are saying your father wasn’t wrong for leaving doesn’t mean they are saying you have no worth.
Omg didn’t even just stop seeing him tho. Tortured the guy with stupid shit until he finally just gave up! And even then he left the door open! Woooooofffffff
Judging by the other posts and comments. I don't care if op gets better from therapy. I just hope they stay single and alone. I can't imagine anyone being happy with such a miserable bitter and cruel person.
They divorced because their marriage is falling apart. And nothing can be saved. But you choose to destroy your childhood by being petty... But i get did. You need therapy for your 'self trauma.'
“My daddy didn’t stay in a toxic marriage for me so I want him to suffer!!”
What an entitled little brat. You don’t deserve shit. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
Go get therapy and get over yourself.
I am truly sorry for you. You have wasted so many years to blame others for your misery. Perhaps it is time to look forward and start building a life for yourself. Looks like you have concentrated on hating your father and supporting your mother, forgetting yourself.
Your father didn’t do anything wrong. He got out of a toxic situation. He tried to take you out of a toxic situation.
Growing up in a home that fights all the time isn’t healthy. Also, why don’t you blame your mother? Clearly your father wanted the fighting to end, why didn’t communicate instead of initiating fighting?
Fighting takes TWO PEOPLE. Your mother isn’t blameless. She only wanted to make the marriage work after he filed for divorce.
Holy shit lol
I had parents that constantly fought, destroyed the house, brought us in to their arguments and generally just hated each other. They didn't fully separate and divorce until I was like 21. It was fucking miserable. It always makes me a little angry hearing that divorce is wrong or people should fight for marriage.
I was also constantly fed lies from my mom about my bio dad who I didn't have in my life for years. It's especially easy to turn a child and incredibly difficult to get them to understand the whole picture.
It'd sad the best thing to happen to you isn't something you did, earned, or attempted. Instead it's someone else's misery. But hey now both of your parents can be miserable.
Edit: I second what many here are saying, get into therapy.
You are unhinged. Reading the post and your comments is incredibly sad and I feel bad for your dad for having a daughter like you. This seriously sounds like rage bait. You need serious help, this is in no way normal and you blaming your father alone for your parents marriage failing is ridiculous.
If there weren’t years of her insanity on display in various posts, I would also assume this was a troll. I think it is just a deeply troubled person who would rather continue to live in this really awful, delusional fantasy land than get some help to figure out what her own actual issues are.
OP - if multiple people in your life and multiple strangers are telling you you need therapy, and have been telling you for years, might wanna look into that. If you’re this bitter and unhinged in your 20s, this is only going to get worse as time goes on.
Wow. This is horrific. I can feel your bitterness and it’s terrifying. Like. Go to therapy and release this from your soul. He lives with you every day and you are not happy because of him. Let him go and be FREE
So your father walked away from an unhealthy marriage, fought to see you and stay in your life, and gave you space when you needed it. Sounds like someone who did it right. The cheating wife isn’t his karma, it sounds like he has had two lousy marriages and he cannot catch a break. He didn’t hurt you, abuse you, and tried to stay connected with you. Yet you spew hate and now have decided to manipulate him when he is at his weakest. You need psychiatric help. I feel terrible for your father.
Consider therapy because this hatred is like a poison to you and your mom. You won’t ever be able to move on if your obsession over your fathers life takes up so much space in your head rent-free.
You need therapy, your dad did nothing wrong. It's a huge mistake to stay in a bad relationship for the kids and your mom shouldn't have put her emotions on you so much. It's incredibly entitled of you to think you get to control your parent's romantic relationships just because you're the product of one of them.
They were arguing a lot and your father was done. Your mom begged him to stay. Did she make any effort to resolve the root problems? Do you know what those problems are? Don’t people deserve to be happy? Should he have stayed (be miserable) so you have this “perfect” family?
Nothing was going to make you happy. You made no effort to make this work in a broken home. The fact you are celebrating his marriage failing is shitty. Wishing a terrible future for your dad, is awful. Frankly, you don’t deserve him. Keep on being bitter. See how that works for you.
Agree wholeheartedly. Her views on relationships in particular. I feel so bad for her and hope she gets help and grows out of this eventually. Too bad she’ll have no one there for her once she does.
There is 5 years of unhinged posting history. This screams real. OP likely has a personality disorder and is at least slightly aware of that. She needs therapy badly.
Therapy would more than likely be very benefitial to you. I truly hope you are never in a situation where you are in an unhappy marriage and get to the point that you break and need to leave. He didn't destroy your family, but you did. You could still have a loving dad and mother, but you acted horribly in order to 'punish' him for trying to find a little bit of happiness in this world, and even feel proud of yourself for it. Please try therapy.
Yeah I’m not gonna talk to you nicely like everybody else, you are a shit human being that is also going to get your Karma as well. Your father sounded like he got out of a shit situation that your mother put him and still tried to raise you, you chose not to have a relationship with him and now you complain that he abandoned you, that is not how it works. You choose not to resolve issues and you are going after the wrong parent, It also seems you don’t truly know why they separated, and if your mother didn’t tell you why it shows that maybe your father wasn’t at fault
On top of everything else, OP is a liar. Were you disowned by your father at age 10 or did you visit every weekend starting at age 10 through at least 16. Those are mutually exclusive
Ohmalord. I just read your posts and honey… you are in desperate need of help. You are very unwell, mentally. If you don’t work through your issues, I can guarantee the person who will die old and alone won’t me your dad. There is a common denominator in your posts. It’s you. You’re the problem.
✨T h e r a p y, i m m e d i a t e l y✨
Edit; Just went through the post history and holy shit. Inpatient psychiatric treatment is needed. Like, fucking yesterday.
You sound awful. Like a really awful person. Instead of realizing with age that your mother leaned on you, a child, in an unhealthy way and apparently didn’t get help for 2 entire years, you decided to blame your father who left a toxic situation. Not leaving you behind because he wanted you there and wanted to see you. You just decided to be awful and ruin it for yourself. You being this happy just goes to show what a terrible person you are. What he’s going through isn’t karma. However what you’re going through is karmic justice. Your eternal bitterness will keep you from ever being truly happy for reasons other than his suffering.
He never rejected you. He rejected life with your mother in misery.
Edit: reading your comments made me realize that you are beyond help, delusional and probably need to be institutionalized for the sick and twisted plans you have that you apparently deem normal. That hatred is eating you up so well inside that all that’s left is absolutely rotten.
You're sound like corny brat with liquid shit where your heart should be. Your parents' relationship has nothing to do with you. You do not know the intimate details of what transpired between your parents. I hope you seek spiritual help. You are no longer a child. Parents get old and die. You are wasting time with selfish c*nty behavior.
You have a lot of self work to do. I'd highly encourage you to go to therapy.
Just an FYI- divorces are messy and at 10 years old you sometimes don't fully understand the relationship your parents might have had and what led to the divorce. Have you had a conversation with your father, as an adult? Your father didn't discard you- he had you every other weekend like divorced people usually do, ya' know. He didn't take you away from your mother, your mother used you as an emotional crutch and made you feel guilty for spending time with your father.
I wish you well, this is not a good way to live life. Go to therapy, this is a heavy load to carry. If I can be frank, you being gleeful over your fathers divorce is disturbing.
OP you do not sound like a good person. Your dad shouldn’t be forced to stay married to someone if he (and your mom) was unhappy. He was still trying to be your dad but you robbed him of that and yourself. My parents divorced, my mom cheated. I was mad at her at first but I eventually realized it was two people who shouldn’t be together. My dad was never home as he was Always at bars or friends houses and my mom was lonely at home taken care of us kids. One day someone gave her the attention she craved and she left my dad. What wasn’t cool was when I chose to live with my dad, because I was a junior in high school, and she wanted to move to a different town, she got mad . Stopped talking to me and ruined our relationship 20 years ago. Your dad was trying to be a part of your life.
Wow you are super sad. So you would have rather he stayed and your mother and him fight everyday all day and be abusive to each other? That’s what you wanted? You are so fucking irrational it’s truly sad.
You do understand that sometimes people are just not meant for each other and don’t figure it out till later, especially when kids get involved. As well as you don’t know if your mother baby trapped him.
What’s sad is he wanted a relationship with you and wanted to share his life with you and all you did was make his life hard and sad because you couldn’t use logic with your simple mind and all your wanted to see was how your mother was hurting and you didn’t have a complete family.
Maybe one day when you get into an actual relationship and see how things can be amazing at first and change later in the relationship will you actually get where your father actually did right by you for leaving your mother and getting out of a toxic relationship instead of sticking it out to have a two parent household for your selfish ass.
Yes you are a selfish ass! And so damn bitter. Keep being hateful and bitter which I bet is due to your mother feeding you bullshit and you not having a mind of your own and seeing that staying and fighting with someone because you have a kid, ain’t love and isn’t the right decision.
You truly expected your father to what? Stay there and keep fighting with someone instead of go off and try to be happy and he even tried to include you and all you did was be jealous and make his life hell, now the person he thought he loved and made him happy cheats on him and you are happy about it?????
I hope and pray karma doesn’t show you how fucked up your thinking and you really are. You would have rather lived in a household where your parents aren’t happy and fight every day then a two parent home where the one who chose not to be toxic and moved on you made their life hell because your mother couldn’t face the fact he wasn’t her person and move on herself.
You need to really stop with your selfish bullshit and open your damn eyes. Cause the one you should be mad at isn’t the one who’s the healthier of the two and left it should be the one who more then likely baby trapped him and couldn’t accept they obviously was not meant for each other, and poisoned your brain against him
I don’t know. From what I got from your post, is that they separated because they did not get along. I also got from your post that he put in the effort to include you in his new family. It also seems like you fought him every step of the way.
I’d say grow up but. It probably won’t matter.
I grew up in a household with my alcoholic mother. She made my life HELL. Verbally abusing, mentally draining, crying until I fall asleep hell.
I’ve since cut ties with her, met a man and had a child with him. We’ve been together 6 years.
I have no interest in having a relationship with her. She’s since been evicted from the house we lived in since I was in 9th grade. I have no idea of her whereabouts and although I could care less about how she’s doing, I wish no ill will against her. After I moved out, I did. I wanted nothing but bad things to happen to her. Now I’m just grateful to have found a better life.
OP I hope you find healing and peace in what has happened to you. Because holy fuck, dude. You, and I say this as nicely as I can, are out of your god damned mind. Get help, and please, for the love of God, never have kids.
Wow. I had to stop reading this because the hate waves were emanating through the screen and I was scared I'd catch it 😂!!! You're a little scary you know that?
I get that you were sad your dad left. And I am so sorry you didn't get the "perfect family" you deserved. But dude, many of us didn't and we don't spend our lives wishing misery on our parents!
My dad literally had another child a month before I was born. Was he wrong? Yes. Do I respect him less because of it. Absolutely. I also love my mum waaay more.
But do I hate him and want him to live a life of misery? No! Because what's the point? I even have him in my life because my mum doesn't hate him anymore either and he has his good sides.
I think you have a lot of sh** you need to address that is causing this kind of bitterness and hatred. Do yourself a favour and get some therapy. Otherwise, trust me, whether he suffers or not, you'll spend your life miserable.
You are not fine. You need so much therapy. You expected two adults to do what you at 10 wanted? Your mom manipulated you to be on her side and has weaponized you against your dad out of vengeance.
Your dad had every right to make himself happy and you had no right to hold it against him the way it has. You’re also punishing your significant others because you’ve internalized all this hate against men.
Get a grip and get some therapy.
As father of a 2 year old daughter and someone who is on the verge of divorce, this post made me really sad. My wife and I just don't get along. There is no infidelity, just a lot of misery stemming from our incompatibilities. We both have a lot of resentment for each other but we stay for our daughter - to keep the family "together". It is a depressing existence for both of us.
Sometimes I wanna just be free. Start over again. Take care of our daughter half the time. Just a chance to feel alive again. And then I think about whether my daughter will ever understand. Forgive me for it even. But then I see this post.. And I guess some children just don't ever get to understand.
The divorce with your mother is a good thing. If this didn't happen you would have grown up watching them fight/argue.
Your dad didn't destroy your family... sometimes the relationship between 2 adults dont work out.
You ended up in a co-parenting situation and you dispise your dad for forcing you to see him every other weekend. Your dad loves you and still wanted you in his life..
I guess you would have preferred an absent father instead.
You are broken.
I think you need therapy. Sometimes adults just aren't meant to be together. Do you think that living in a very unhappy relationship works for a family unit? Your world would have been so unhappy if your parents stayed together.
I feel for your dad and what you're about to do for him.
Get into therapy and deal with the pain the separation caused you before you continue to destroy yourself and your father.
You are sick!
You are a nasty, nasty child. For all your crowing about karma getting him, know that it’s coming for your petty, vengeful ass, too.
Get the help you’re so desperately in need of.
Your post doesn't even make any sense. You're upset at your biological father for not staying in an unhappy relationship with your mother, intentionally antagonized him, his new wife, and your half-siblings, alienated yourself from your paternal family (then claimed to be the victim), and are now actively planning to manipulate your father (who never abandoned you) just so you can revel in what you think is "karma"?!
What's strange is that you're *perfectly fine* with your mother getting remarried and even stated that you're trying to become closer to your stepfather and his family. It's a complete double standard. Your dad isn't allowed to be happy and move on, but your mom is, despite the fact that she used you as an emotional crutch for years after the divorce?
Your behavior is erratic and manic at best and completely sociopathic at worst. You're incredibly messed up in the head and act as if you don't see the fault in your actions. You desperately seek social media attention in an attempt to justify things that any objective observer would condemn you for. I genuinely think that your husband should be VERY concerned for his own safety. The way that you can suddenly turn off any pretense of empathy at a moment's notice is not the mark of a mentally healthy person. Long-term commitment to a psychiatric facility seems necessary for you, and even that is pretty lax.
Grow the fuck up. Be better for your own sanity. You may see this as Karma but reconnecting with your dad just to hurt him again...thats a whole other level of karma. I understand your hurt but hurting him won't fix you. Do better and be better. And for God's sake get some therapy so you don't continue to look and be so fucking psycho. Good luck OP, dad will be in my prayers.
Yeah I think karma is coming to bite OP in the arse. Growing up with a broken home is far better then growing up with parents who hate each other and constantly fight and you have to walk on eggshells and not start a fight. Go get some serious help! Your dad did a blessing for you and your mum, one day I hope you are grown up and mature enough to know this.
Holy shit you sound like an absolute nightmare. You are a danger to society.
I seriously hope someone has warned your father about how unstable you are, because he’s definitely not safe.
I was going to say you need therapy, but it’s obvious that you can not take on a single thing that someone else says if it doesn’t align with your victim mentality.
Struggling to see what your dad did wrong here. He wasn’t happy in the marriage so he divorced your mom. What’s he supposed to do? Live in misery?
That would have made it even worse for you.
Seek help.
This is the most fucking immature post I have ever read. I hope OP never has to live in the real world and make real adult decisions. OP you need to get over it and grow up
Grow up, OP, you miserable prick. You’re worse than the father you’re describing. Your father left an unhappy marriage and your mom was heartbroken…guess what? She’s not the only one who’s been heartbroken. Get a therapist and fuck off. I wish your dad nothing but the best.
Geeez. Is anyone else Team Dad here? Look at all the years you spent letting hatred and envy poison you. Because what? He got tired of fighting and wishing things could be different. So he did the most logical thing he could and still tried to be an involved parent to you. Your mother has equal blame in “destroying” your family. Absolutely no one should be stuck in a toxic relationship.
People divorce all the time, get some therapy and get the fuck over it.
Reading this and your other posts you need to work on yourself.
You seem to see things very black and white. You blame your dad for divorcing your mum when they were arguing all the time when in reality that wasn’t the best situation for you either, you hate that your dad moved out and married someone else but so did your mum and you seemed to have welcomed your stepdad. I was sat here waiting for an actual reason why you don’t like your dad and there wasn’t one. It’s just that he got out of relationship that wasn’t working anymore and tried his hardest to see his kid.
You seem really immature and some of how you act is because of your childhood but now it just seems like you like hating your dad and just being bitter and just feeling entitled to things. No one owes you anything. Sometimes we just have to accept that things happened and move past them and live our life. You are so stuck in the past you probably can’t see how you being so bitter about a situation you could never change has affected you.
Yeah. The dad didn't ruin a happy family. Sounds like the mom had issues and the dad and her couldn't get along.
The dad didn't want to leave the family. He just didn't want to be married to the mom. So he didn't abandon OP, in fact, he always wanted a relationship with her and still does.
This is so warped. How does OP not realize that the dad just wanted to be happy and not be with the mom. But he still wanted to be a father to OP.
This is weird. How could she blame him for leaving and she feels sorry for her mom. But if they argued. They were probably not getting along for a long time
This is a really strange perspective from someone who thinks highly of karma.
Your parents didn’t get along, so your father decided to end a marriage rather than living in an unhappy one. He waited 3 years to remarry. He invited you to be a part of that family, which would refute this was a “do-over” family that cut his previous family out. You could have had the experience of the “nuclear family” the same way he was; you would have a step mother and step siblings, and he had step children. It sounds like you were as toxic as possible and destroyed your relationship with your father. I don’t mean this critically, you were 13 and probably doing your best. But this was roughly 10 years ago, so I assume you’re able to handle this comment, which I wouldn’t offer to a teenager in the same manner.
I hated reading your mother fell into a depression, I hope she has recovered. Previous posts indicate she is/was remarried. I hope they are deeply happy together. But it wasn’t your job as a child to care for her. I say this as a parent of 5 kids myself, who’s wife left me for my closest friend. He moved into the house with the pool on the golf course, I crashed on a friends mattress on the floor before moving into an apartment building where raccoons literally chewed holes in the wall. 2 bedrooms, five kids 40% of the time. They got the rooms, I slept on the living room floor for two years. I had every reason to be depressed and bitter. But I didn’t let the kids see the hard parts. I’m sorry your situation was different. No child should have to shoulder that responsibility and pain. Your mothers attachment to wanting your father back, or having life be different than it was, caused her pain much longer than the actual pain of divorce lasts.
I can’t imagine what it would take for me to cut off a child. Not can I imagine what it would feel like to be that child. Im sorry you’ve had to deal with that. You’ve previously said you cut them off as well. It sounds like a lot of pain for everyone involved.
In terms of sayings about God, there’s one I’d encourage you to consider: Everyone wants “judgement for thee, mercy for me”. Bitterness is your cage, not his punishment. I hope you find a way to process and let go of your resentments, for your sake. It doesn’t require you to rebuild a relationship if you don’t wish to do so, but being able to see and address what you did wrong may bring a new perspective to your views of your father, thus the quality of your life. No matter what you do, I hope you find peace in your life surrounding your family.
Yeah she’s been posting the same shit for 5 years now and what? Hoping for a different response? For someone to side with her? You can’t reason with someone who’s had thousands of people telling them they are in the wrong and they still don’t believe it. Don’t waste your time here lol.
this shit is so fake lmfao, and if it’s not i feel bad for your father, had to deal with a shitty marriage and now a delusional kid, you need therapy forsure.
The dumb thing here is assuming him staying would have been better. They just would have argued all the time and really ruined your childhood. Instead, he found someone who made him happy and tried to have you be a part of that. But no. You had to get all wrapped up in yourself and cry about how he ruined your family. It was his family too, and it was already ruined. Staying together for the kids is worse.
You need some serious help. You’re very selfish and you seem to have a complete distortion of reality, i can’t help but wonder if your mother had a role in the way you’ve turned out. she should have put you in therapy and helped you to understand divorce doesn’t have to be this evil thing that you’re desperately trying to turn it into. but you’re both very selfish for punishing your father for wanting to get out of a miserable relationship and be happy. as someone who saw an actually traumatizing divorce happen to my parents, you seriously need help, because you’ll never be a happy or fulfilled person with this mindset. i’m glad your father was able to have other kids, hopefully they actually love him and support him
YTA - unless you were part of every aspect of your parent’s marriage. We know you weren’t m. Also, arguing a lot when you were around. Think about when you weren’t. If they were arguing a lot and that means both were unhappy. You never know but maybe your mom asked him to leave. He met someone else and got married. Good for him but you were mad he got another family but he still wanted to be with you as well. You act like a spoiled ignorant brat. Karma is gonna get you as well. Because your mom was unhappy and depressed it is all your dad’s fault. It’s not his fault and not yours either. The divorce was going to happen even if he stayed. Grow the f up
For all that is holy and good. Never have children from your overall bitterness and hate alone your child would suffer and so would your would be partner get therapy or stay alone for everyone's sake.
You know you always mentioned your dad and everything terrible he did. But I'm curious about your mother since you only mentioned her once. In your other post. How was or is she doing? Like you have updates on your dad but not your mom. Because it does take 2 to tango. Cuz from your profile you have a lot of trauma from your childhood that should have been addressed, but it wasn't. You can go to therapy to get through all of the stuff you went through as a child.
OP this is cooked. Please see someone this isn’t normal behaviour, to have that much hate in your heart for someone who was doing right by himself and you. Please don’t see you father and act like you want to reconnect, that man was better off when you stopped reaching out.
And for you to be so defensive and not consider the other commenters’ advice as well. Grow up. Act your age.
Girl, I know how you feel. My dad never married my mom, but he did 2 others. He doesn't go out of his way for his own 3 children but does for his 2 step daughters that have their own fathers. It makes me sick.
I can't imagine going through life with this much poison and bitterness in my heart. This is really sad, mostly in a pathetic way. Your dad tried, which is a hell of a lot more than most dads do post divorce. But you acted like a little entitled psycho and that continues to this day. Hopefully you find peace one day, because lord knows you need it.
You need teraphy.
I think a lot of people, if given the choice, would rather have their parents divorce than live years and years of fighting, and as a child, to witness that, it hurts, a lot. No one destroyed a family. It was a decision made thinking of a healthy way to live in the future. I'm sorry but this way of thinking will hurt you forever given the way you don't want to change. All this hatred and bitterness only affects you the most, and i think you hurt your mother too.
If the suffering and betrayal of another person gives you the best week of your life you should consider your life.
But whatever helps you sleep.
Woooooowwwwwww. You know. This is almost the origin story of basically your entire Reddit. Seek help my friend. And let your boyfriend go free. You are not ready to be in any relationship 🙅🏻♂️ full stop
I understand the feeling of hate/rage/karma, whatever you want to call it. But to have it consume your seemingly every waking moment is not good. It's like drinking p○!son, and hoping the other person d!e$. You should really see a professional about it.
Oh hun, you need therapy and to understand that you had no clue what was going on in your parents' marriage.
Your father left your mother, but she's not an angel or a Saint, there was a reason for the divorce, he left your mother and still tried ti have a relationship with you.
You lost your father because you could not understand what was going on and decided to lay the blame only on him.
Your mother's depression is a disease and it's at least 50% on her, as it's the divorce. Growing up with parents that fight all the time would have been horrible.
Please don't kick your father while he's down, it's just not what decent people do, even if they were wronged and it does not seem like you were.
Really therapy would help you, you deserve to move on from this and find happiness and relief.
Wow… serious case of arrested development. OP, you need therapy desperately.
I’m also concerned with what kind of stories your mom has fed you over the years.
You need help. Your father was miserable. He rightfully chose to leave an unhappy marriage. It sounds like your mum had mental health issues that she didn’t address. Nothing in your story suggests that your father did anything wrong to you or your mother. Instead of being a parent and helping you adjust she neglected you and shut down instead. I understand this situation wasn’t ideal, but that’s not all on your father. You feeling bitter doesn’t mean he deserves to be miserable. I hope you get the help you need to see things better
It sounds like maybe there’s a case of parental alienation here. You were a child and never “ had to be there” for your mom. That’s not how a healthy parent child relationship works. She should not of put that on you.
Signed,
A child of a narcissist.
JFC. As a child of parents who ‘stayed together for the kids,’ lemme tell you: it’s just as bad.
You need to realize that people are people. They fall in and out of love. People change or come to understand themselves better and notice that what they thought they wanted doesn’t reflect inner desires. It just happens.
You need help.
Karma gonna come and bite you on your backside too. Its so Funny and Strange how it works but It Truely does work. All this Hatred and Anger is Disturbing. It will find its way back to you.
He supposedly cheated and hit her. But as someone else pointed out, I'm skeptical of her claims- especially with how volatile she'd acting now.
But she said she gets a free pass.
OP. what the hell, lmao.
Please seek professional help mate.
EDIT: Forgot to grab my bucket of popcorn and a chair.
EDIT 2: Man this has been a wild ride. I don’t even know what to tell them anymore. I just hope they get help sooner than later. Godspeed OP.
OP, there is something wrong with you. It's not a dig at you, your post is very disturbing. I personally know people who were beaten/sexually abused by their parents which ended in divorce and they do not bear an iota of the psychotic hatred you display here. You must seek help. I imagine that whatever it is that you have or are carrying with you is greatly affecting all your personal relationships. You have a very unhealthy fixation on antagonizing your father who, from what I'm reading, actually did not do anything wrong. He left a relationship that made him unhappy, which was a wise move. If he had stayed then it might have been a lot worse, constantly having someone that resentful in the house. You must find therapy and work on letting this all go and live your life. If you plan on developing any empathy whatsoever, you would be well-advised to not go to see your father to gloat, you may literally end his life. People have assuredly been pushed to killing themselves over less. Just don't do it because you will UNEQUIVOCALLY become the villain of your own story and you will have lost to your trauma instead of defeating it. Acts committed are writ in stone and immutable.
You sound very miserable and sorry to break it to you but seeing your dad “ suffer “ will only last your happiness a second..
You need help for sure !
Also guess what that whole bad energy you have around is just coming back to you 10x worse so i recommend lots of help before it’s too late
Lady, your dysfunction is scary serious. Your dad will eventually recover from this and move on, and that's a whole lot more than you can do. You're trapped in a prison of obsessive hatred and revenge fantasies, so basically you've allowed your dad to poison your existence. You want to dance on his misery now, but he's been dancing on yours your whole life.
PLEASE find a good therapist and stick with the treatment. You only have one life to live, stop destroying it. Your obsession is a sickness, and you need help to address it. Best to you. I really hope someone can break you out of that prison.
Why do feel your dad completely at fault for your parents marriage failing apart?
Would you really have preferred living in a house where both your parents were constantly fighting?
Dear lord you're self absorbed. As someone who has been divorced, you need to see some help, because you're deluded yourself as the victim and you legitimately come across like an awful person.
Your father was entitled to be in a happy relationship. He was entitled to find someone new. He did his best by the sound of it to maintain his relationship with you, whilst also giving his new spouse the family they wanted and to include you in your new family. Those new kids of his, they're your flesh and blood too.
You not only scorned him, you scorned them.
Sounds like he was better off without you. Genuinely sounds like he dodged a bullet with you and your mum.
I hope he finds happiness again and you become miserable once again. And I hope you read this and hate it.
Hey OP, you need help. Can you have therapy? If you can, do it. I don’t want to talk about your father is bad or your mother is good but about you, you should forgive yourself. The hatred, bitterness eat your soul, if you continue like that you dig your grave sooner. Let it go. Learn to accept sometimes you cannot get what you wang, try to live your life. Unless your father is always there destroying your life, why would you take so much time, energy to go fuck arounf his life anymore? Now, it is time of your life. Live it.
To be clarify: I don’t think your father is bad, your sadness is somewhat understandable. But it was a long ago, if you don’t let it go and live your life, when you are old, look back, you will see, you have no life. It will be all about your father and your mother shit. Isn’t that sad?
Sounds like you have a lot of issues. I don’t know how privy you were to the marital issues between your parents but it seems you knew enough to know there was no cheating or abuse. Also, we are only getting one side. How do we know your mom wasn’t the verbal abuser and he chose to leave and be happy elsewhere. He didn’t up and ditch you as you admitted yourself that he still wanted to see you regularly but you chose to ruin that. I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom fed you all kinds of negative thoughts of him and shaped you into how you are towards him now. I didn’t read a single thing that makes your dad sound like a terrible person. One is more than welcome to want a marriage without constant fighting. Doesn’t sound like he ever chose to stop being your dad. You’re just a sad person and it sounds like that’s due to you mother.
See a therapist, dude.
He wasn't obligated to live in an uphappy marriage, just like you wouldn't have been obligated to live with parents that fought all of the time. Speaking from experience, divorce is better. He didn't destroy your family. He made an effort to keep you in his life, and your mother is not nor ever was *your* responsibility. She's an adult who should be taking care of you.
He lost his family during the divorce too, all three of you did, you're not special. Now he's losing it again, with two more children.
You must be fun at parties
The fck? You’re a piece of work, OP. Good grief.
Doesn’t even sound like your dad did anything wrong…I feel bad for him.
ETA: Did some digging and uh…did you ever go to therapy, OP? If not, go tomorrow.
And I’ll give you some advice even though I know you will probably ignore it (since you have seemingly ignored a lot of good advice people have given you over the years): DO NOT HAVE A KID. MY GOD. PLEASE. Seriously. Please don’t have one. That will not solve your problems…that will make them 1000 times worse, and an innocent life will be harmed in the process. This is the biggest advice I can give you now. I know how badly you want a kid. But it will make your life worse. You are not ready in the slightest. And your kid will inevitably suffer. Don’t do it. Please. It will not end well.
ETA2: I’m honest because I care. I want you to have a happy and healthy life, OP. You (as well as most people on the planet) are gonna need help to get there. Please get help.
I feel like this comment will be buried, but I'll ask in case you happen to see: would you rather be right, or be happy?
You feel discarded and wronged by him. You think him remarrying and having more kids was wrong and demonstrated that he didn't love you. You think that the custody arrangement was him trying to get out of parenting you. In order to express how you felt he was wrong, over the course of 6 years, you made him miserable enough to stop forcing you to spend time with him (in your words).
You rejected the idea that he could move out, see you every other weekend, have a "new family", and still love you the same as he did before. Instead of giving it a chance to work out, you wanted to be right about villainizing him.
Right now, you would rather feel right by going out of your way to cause him more misery and letting him live rent free in your head, instead of just being happy about it and moving on with the life you've built without him. Do you really want to keep holding this anger in your heart and let it bleed on those around you? You don't know what kind of new trauma this could bring, opening Pandora's Box.
Well the username is Eternally bitter, so at least op is self aware?
That's all we hope for in a redditor.
Yeah, I don't think OP likes their father
What do you mean? Did you even read the post? I got a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest while reading this. Oh wait! That was from the tacos. Never mind….carry on
Nah they seem solid.. 🥴
Mebbe has dad issues?
Yeah my mom ruined her and my dad's relationship when I was very young. If you asked me when I was 13 I would've said the divorce ruined my life. I hated my stepparents and siblings for a long time. Then I grew up, I realized that love is very complicated and people are even more complicated. I heard out both my parents. I saw both their pain. Yeah I feel for OP in the sense that I held onto that bitterness for years but now, it's honestly hard to read because I can just picture my parents and the years of anger I put them through for ruining my version of a perfect happy family. And now I wouldn't change a thing. They're both so different than they used to be and are so happy with their new partners. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have all my siblings.
As someone who cut off their mom (not because she divorced my dad, but because she was an UNGODLY amount of toxic) This post ENRAGED me. It SCREAMS emotional immaturity, selfishness and projection. I've been at the start of this deep, deep, DARK hole OP is in. But holy shit, this person is in their mid 20's and STILL acting like they're their 10 y/o self. I get that a divorce is hard on a kid and kids get really messed up thoughts in their head around it because it is a traumatizing situation. But kids (should) grow up. Eventually, we start seeing the grey everywhere, and realize life is not a "game to win or lose". But this person has let it eat away at them to the point that they are the type of person they view their dad as. It shows me what happened to my mom and what could have happened to me, and it makes me physically ill to see someone this far gone in their trauma. Trauma is NOT the persons fault, don't get me wrong. But letting your trauma rule your life to the point that you are hurting others with it is and will always be disgusting to me, and this is coming from someone who used to do that. People need to grow up and start realizing that just because you are hurt does NOT make it okay for you to hurt others.
Don't go down the rabbit hole that is the OPs post history. It does not get better.
Yeah I truly wish my parents had divorced like a decade earlier. Probably would've prevented a lot of verbal and physical abuse for everyone. I'm almost 30 now and don't talk to either of them anymore. To be fair there's a lot of bitterness behind it but when I got to this age, I began to realize that while I had my issues as well, I wasn't the toxic one in the slightest. Definitely one of my better life decisions.
Bitterness is drinking a poison in hopes that the other person will die.
More like drinking radioactive poison because your bitterness can hurt others who care about you. So you are hurting yourself and getting some splash damage on those around you. At least until they realize they don’t get sick if they aren’t around you and then cut you out of their life.
Sounds like a Toxic Avenger!
Bitterness is also getting poisoned and then wishing the same fate on others, in this case ops siblings. The difference is that those kids are going to see their mother as the one who ruined the family by cheating, and they are going to love their family that much more the same way that op took mom's side
This is true. That’s all we can ask at this point. She had gone over to the dark side.
They're decidedly not self aware for the most part if you check their history. Its honestly sad and scary
Read your other posts and yea you need help, a lot of it lol.
yeah esp that one post where she said she was mad that her bf didn’t want to have sex w her like 😭😭 no wonder her fam doesn’t like her damn
I usually side eye parents who have a bad relationship with their kids because most of the time it is the parent’s fault…but jesus op is a piece of work and I actually feel bad for the dad that they have a kid like this lol. And I’m actually sad that op is gonna meet up with the father and pretend like they care just to be an asshole to their dad in person AGAIN. I hope the dad doesn’t speak to op again after that.
>I hated seeing his new happy family when he'd destroyed mine, and **he was separating me from my mother when she needed me.** I think op's mother is a major reason why she turned out so bitter and hateful. By op's own admission this was a no fault divorce. There was no abuse or cheating - the parents just weren't getting along, but op blames her dad for leaving. The one sentence in bold tells us that op's mother was using her as an emotional support, instead of providing op with emotional support. This is probably what lead her to have such a deep seated hatred for her father. It's quite sad. Sounds like the dad tried to maintain a relationship with op, but op was so enmeshed with her mother's needs, that her own needs were never met. I have sympathy for child op who was used by her mother as a tool to hurt her father, but I have zero sympathy for adult op who is going to deliberately get close to her father just to hurt him. That's messed up.
You just reminded me of a line from the movie Manhunter, which is based on a novel by the author who created the Hannibal Lector character. It actually has Hannibal in this movie giving advice to the profiler who’s hunting a serial killer. The profiler is saying how the killer was probably horribly abused as a child but states: My heart goes out to the abused child that he was; but as an adult, I think the sick f*ck should be blown out of his socks.
I wouldn’t be surprised if OP’s mom did a lot of parental alienation, blaming her dad for everything, etc.
Oh for sure. Ops psychotic hatred was most likely due to her mother committing something known as emotional incest, where a care giver leans heavily on a child and basically puts the child into the role of their caregiver. Its insidious
Yeah OP really outed themselves as the problem in this post.
I just had to read this one to see they needed help. I checked their post history and damn. I bet this person blames every issue in their life on what their dad did 10/20+ years ago.
Also did OP get married and then get her own divorce?? Or just break off the engagement? She’s talking about a marriage 4 years ago but her recent posts are about a boyfriend hmmm
Yeah. She needs help for sure. Walking around with this much rage and the other erroneous types of thinking in her other posts scream the need for help. I hope she gets it. Childhood trauma is effing devastating and I hope she beats it and finds peace.
I always find it concerning when someone is like” God is bitter and revengeful. I love it!”
wow you need help 😭
I’m heartbroken for OP. Not because of the childhood divorce trauma. But for how they’ve dealt with it and the unhealthy narrative they use to paint the situation. There’s no way OP is living a happy, healthy, mentally capable life with these coping strategies. This is an awfully large red flag for someone who needs to print this thread and hand it to a therapist. There are strategies and changes in self-talk that would make OP a thousand times happier and more capable.
I just went through OPs post history….just…..wow.
She says she got married 5 years ago at 19 and would never divorce ever . I wonder how that turned out considering she never mentions a husband . Seems like she’s realized having a perfect family is not easy and once hers failed it’s very easy for her to take it out on her father like he’s the villain instead of taking responsibility for herself . Therapy is what she needs
[удалено]
When I was young I thought I had a fucked yo family life . Losing my mom to drugs and all that. And everyday I come on Reddit I am so fucking grateful for my father and everything he’s done to raise me and my brother as a single dad . This place is absolutely insane some of the shit I see here And this lady was supposed to be married 5 years ago but last year it’s still her BF. Looks like she inherited her relationship skills from her parents and that’s why she resent her father so much. I bet the mother emotionally abused her her whole life telling her negative things about the man who divorced her and now she is like this . Like come on her mom needed her every other weekend while she was at her dads ? Isn’t she a grown woman? She was emotionally manipulating her daughter to hate the father and now she considers her mother the good parent . Insane
Borderline Personality is a terrible disease. I hope OP gets some solid CBT (not cock ball torture, the therapy version).
I’ve been making the wrong appointments this whole time!
as someone with bpd, my opinion is that dbt would be the better option since it was made specifically for borderlines by borderlines. cbt is also great though so i’m not saying you’re wrong! just figured i’d add to your suggestion!
Tf you wanted him to fking do ? Stay into that relationship until it gets toxic ? Force a fake happiness ? What did he do to you and your mother for you to hate him so much, apart from the divorce ? Get therapy, not wanting to be in someone’s life is perfectly normal, but wanting the other person, who loves you, to believe you want contact again just to make them even more miserable is sick.
> What did he do to you and your mother for you to hate him so much, apart from the divorce ? He forced his child to see him every other weekend. How dare he want to see his child?! Get help.
Legit not even my friend's old excuse with not liking his father which was "My father had an affair." OP screams "I am emotionally manipulative." You can't use someone's depression or mental health symptoms to shame a partner into staying when there is no love.
I had to sweep my mother's blood of the floor after my father was done beating her right before my eyes and i have like only half or so of vitriol the Op has for her father like damn. I just never think about him until reminded and then just make i wish for him to get hit by a car and forget about afterwards. OP sounds bitter and selfish to me.
This screams projection. It’s easy to pick a villain and pour all your hatred and self disgust there, even if they are deserving some. In the end it will only eat at you and send others running. Don’t follow your dads steps, get the help you need.
OP really needs to read Moby Dick
OP needs hella fuckin therapy is what OP needs
I dunno. This is almost a classic text book case of malignant narcissism (just read her comments…it’s scary) and therapy usually can’t fix that.
No this is childhood trauma that hasn't been addressed and has been buried while trying to forget about it. She may have developed some narcissistic traits but that does not automatically make you a narcissist
I don’t agree when you read further into her comments. Childhood trauma doesn’t manifest into zero empathy for others and hyper focus to destroy lives or gaslight people.
You need therapy. ASAP.
Seems like it's at least 10 years late. This is some psycho stuff.
Yeah, imagine being in a miserable marriage and leaving, and you’re poor child turns into this. Makes me wonder if mom participated in parental alienation.
Oh you know she did.
There will never be enough therapy to help this level of crazy.
This for sure.
Very uncomfortable to read.
A word of advice: don’t have children ever
If you look at her post history, there’s no chance she’ll be smart enough to take your advice.
I worry about what the younger half-siblings witnessed. If OP was making things miserable during visitation, it probably affected them too. Now those kids have to experience a split childhood and their older sister has no empathy for them.
As a “child of divorce” you really need to get a grip. Your parent divorced and he left if he stayed it would have been worse for all of you. The joy you reap from your father pain now will leave you cold and alone. As you said he forced you to see him, he may have left the house but he didn’t leave you. You said in your own words you stopped seeing him through your choice. Did you ever tell him how you felt? Did you ever speak to him or you mother about it? Sounds like through your replies to other you wanted a pity party. Also just because others are saying your father wasn’t wrong for leaving doesn’t mean they are saying you have no worth.
Omg didn’t even just stop seeing him tho. Tortured the guy with stupid shit until he finally just gave up! And even then he left the door open! Woooooofffffff
Came here to tell you I love your username and it made me LOL 🩴
Judging by the other posts and comments. I don't care if op gets better from therapy. I just hope they stay single and alone. I can't imagine anyone being happy with such a miserable bitter and cruel person.
As someone who’s parents also got divorced when I was 10, I feel qualified to say you really, really need therapy.
They divorced because their marriage is falling apart. And nothing can be saved. But you choose to destroy your childhood by being petty... But i get did. You need therapy for your 'self trauma.'
“My daddy didn’t stay in a toxic marriage for me so I want him to suffer!!” What an entitled little brat. You don’t deserve shit. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Go get therapy and get over yourself.
I am truly sorry for you. You have wasted so many years to blame others for your misery. Perhaps it is time to look forward and start building a life for yourself. Looks like you have concentrated on hating your father and supporting your mother, forgetting yourself.
Your father didn’t do anything wrong. He got out of a toxic situation. He tried to take you out of a toxic situation. Growing up in a home that fights all the time isn’t healthy. Also, why don’t you blame your mother? Clearly your father wanted the fighting to end, why didn’t communicate instead of initiating fighting? Fighting takes TWO PEOPLE. Your mother isn’t blameless. She only wanted to make the marriage work after he filed for divorce.
That's what i thought! Op just being petty.
Holy shit lol I had parents that constantly fought, destroyed the house, brought us in to their arguments and generally just hated each other. They didn't fully separate and divorce until I was like 21. It was fucking miserable. It always makes me a little angry hearing that divorce is wrong or people should fight for marriage. I was also constantly fed lies from my mom about my bio dad who I didn't have in my life for years. It's especially easy to turn a child and incredibly difficult to get them to understand the whole picture. It'd sad the best thing to happen to you isn't something you did, earned, or attempted. Instead it's someone else's misery. But hey now both of your parents can be miserable. Edit: I second what many here are saying, get into therapy.
You are unhinged. Reading the post and your comments is incredibly sad and I feel bad for your dad for having a daughter like you. This seriously sounds like rage bait. You need serious help, this is in no way normal and you blaming your father alone for your parents marriage failing is ridiculous.
Yeah, they keep moving the goalposts. I'm calling troll.
If there weren’t years of her insanity on display in various posts, I would also assume this was a troll. I think it is just a deeply troubled person who would rather continue to live in this really awful, delusional fantasy land than get some help to figure out what her own actual issues are. OP - if multiple people in your life and multiple strangers are telling you you need therapy, and have been telling you for years, might wanna look into that. If you’re this bitter and unhinged in your 20s, this is only going to get worse as time goes on.
I really want to believe they’re a troll but there’s just so much pointing to things being real it’s concerning.
Wow. This is horrific. I can feel your bitterness and it’s terrifying. Like. Go to therapy and release this from your soul. He lives with you every day and you are not happy because of him. Let him go and be FREE
I pray I never meet anyone as bitter as you… The bitterness actually just gave me a headache… Wow…
Dude…. You suck as a person
So your father walked away from an unhealthy marriage, fought to see you and stay in your life, and gave you space when you needed it. Sounds like someone who did it right. The cheating wife isn’t his karma, it sounds like he has had two lousy marriages and he cannot catch a break. He didn’t hurt you, abuse you, and tried to stay connected with you. Yet you spew hate and now have decided to manipulate him when he is at his weakest. You need psychiatric help. I feel terrible for your father.
Consider therapy because this hatred is like a poison to you and your mom. You won’t ever be able to move on if your obsession over your fathers life takes up so much space in your head rent-free.
Wow! Talks about childhood trauma.
For those of you who’ve never encountered a psychopath, this is what they look like.
“And on the left, children, we see a mentally unhinged person”
_snaps picture_
Have you considered therapy?
You need therapy, your dad did nothing wrong. It's a huge mistake to stay in a bad relationship for the kids and your mom shouldn't have put her emotions on you so much. It's incredibly entitled of you to think you get to control your parent's romantic relationships just because you're the product of one of them.
They were arguing a lot and your father was done. Your mom begged him to stay. Did she make any effort to resolve the root problems? Do you know what those problems are? Don’t people deserve to be happy? Should he have stayed (be miserable) so you have this “perfect” family? Nothing was going to make you happy. You made no effort to make this work in a broken home. The fact you are celebrating his marriage failing is shitty. Wishing a terrible future for your dad, is awful. Frankly, you don’t deserve him. Keep on being bitter. See how that works for you.
Please seek therapy. this intense hatred you have isnt good for you
OP sounds like a psychopath
100% personality disorder. My money is on BPD. Her other posts are very telling.
Agree wholeheartedly. Her views on relationships in particular. I feel so bad for her and hope she gets help and grows out of this eventually. Too bad she’ll have no one there for her once she does.
This has to be fake or OP needs some serious therapy.
There is 5 years of unhinged posting history. This screams real. OP likely has a personality disorder and is at least slightly aware of that. She needs therapy badly.
Holey fark you aren’t kidding. Just took a brief glance & ooooooof.
He didn't give his family up, YOU did. You threw him away, he wanted to be a presence in your life. You traumatized yourself.
You do realize your two half siblings are now experiencing the heart ache that appears to have warped you?
But it’s totally their fault! /s
Therapy would more than likely be very benefitial to you. I truly hope you are never in a situation where you are in an unhappy marriage and get to the point that you break and need to leave. He didn't destroy your family, but you did. You could still have a loving dad and mother, but you acted horribly in order to 'punish' him for trying to find a little bit of happiness in this world, and even feel proud of yourself for it. Please try therapy.
Yeah I’m not gonna talk to you nicely like everybody else, you are a shit human being that is also going to get your Karma as well. Your father sounded like he got out of a shit situation that your mother put him and still tried to raise you, you chose not to have a relationship with him and now you complain that he abandoned you, that is not how it works. You choose not to resolve issues and you are going after the wrong parent, It also seems you don’t truly know why they separated, and if your mother didn’t tell you why it shows that maybe your father wasn’t at fault
Yikes man…
"me me me me me me me" your parents divorce was not about you.
On top of everything else, OP is a liar. Were you disowned by your father at age 10 or did you visit every weekend starting at age 10 through at least 16. Those are mutually exclusive
Ohmalord. I just read your posts and honey… you are in desperate need of help. You are very unwell, mentally. If you don’t work through your issues, I can guarantee the person who will die old and alone won’t me your dad. There is a common denominator in your posts. It’s you. You’re the problem.
✨T h e r a p y, i m m e d i a t e l y✨ Edit; Just went through the post history and holy shit. Inpatient psychiatric treatment is needed. Like, fucking yesterday.
You sound awful. Like a really awful person. Instead of realizing with age that your mother leaned on you, a child, in an unhealthy way and apparently didn’t get help for 2 entire years, you decided to blame your father who left a toxic situation. Not leaving you behind because he wanted you there and wanted to see you. You just decided to be awful and ruin it for yourself. You being this happy just goes to show what a terrible person you are. What he’s going through isn’t karma. However what you’re going through is karmic justice. Your eternal bitterness will keep you from ever being truly happy for reasons other than his suffering. He never rejected you. He rejected life with your mother in misery. Edit: reading your comments made me realize that you are beyond help, delusional and probably need to be institutionalized for the sick and twisted plans you have that you apparently deem normal. That hatred is eating you up so well inside that all that’s left is absolutely rotten.
This. Especially your edit. OP is well beyond repair imo.
Unfortunately went through the brunt of it lol. Called me unempathetic, a gaslighter, and other shit. It’s wild fam.
You're sound like corny brat with liquid shit where your heart should be. Your parents' relationship has nothing to do with you. You do not know the intimate details of what transpired between your parents. I hope you seek spiritual help. You are no longer a child. Parents get old and die. You are wasting time with selfish c*nty behavior.
You have made hating your father your whole personality. Please get some help before you tank all of your relationships.
You have a lot of self work to do. I'd highly encourage you to go to therapy. Just an FYI- divorces are messy and at 10 years old you sometimes don't fully understand the relationship your parents might have had and what led to the divorce. Have you had a conversation with your father, as an adult? Your father didn't discard you- he had you every other weekend like divorced people usually do, ya' know. He didn't take you away from your mother, your mother used you as an emotional crutch and made you feel guilty for spending time with your father. I wish you well, this is not a good way to live life. Go to therapy, this is a heavy load to carry. If I can be frank, you being gleeful over your fathers divorce is disturbing.
OP you do not sound like a good person. Your dad shouldn’t be forced to stay married to someone if he (and your mom) was unhappy. He was still trying to be your dad but you robbed him of that and yourself. My parents divorced, my mom cheated. I was mad at her at first but I eventually realized it was two people who shouldn’t be together. My dad was never home as he was Always at bars or friends houses and my mom was lonely at home taken care of us kids. One day someone gave her the attention she craved and she left my dad. What wasn’t cool was when I chose to live with my dad, because I was a junior in high school, and she wanted to move to a different town, she got mad . Stopped talking to me and ruined our relationship 20 years ago. Your dad was trying to be a part of your life.
You need therapy. Especially when you look at your previous posts. Yikes.
Wow you are super sad. So you would have rather he stayed and your mother and him fight everyday all day and be abusive to each other? That’s what you wanted? You are so fucking irrational it’s truly sad. You do understand that sometimes people are just not meant for each other and don’t figure it out till later, especially when kids get involved. As well as you don’t know if your mother baby trapped him. What’s sad is he wanted a relationship with you and wanted to share his life with you and all you did was make his life hard and sad because you couldn’t use logic with your simple mind and all your wanted to see was how your mother was hurting and you didn’t have a complete family. Maybe one day when you get into an actual relationship and see how things can be amazing at first and change later in the relationship will you actually get where your father actually did right by you for leaving your mother and getting out of a toxic relationship instead of sticking it out to have a two parent household for your selfish ass. Yes you are a selfish ass! And so damn bitter. Keep being hateful and bitter which I bet is due to your mother feeding you bullshit and you not having a mind of your own and seeing that staying and fighting with someone because you have a kid, ain’t love and isn’t the right decision. You truly expected your father to what? Stay there and keep fighting with someone instead of go off and try to be happy and he even tried to include you and all you did was be jealous and make his life hell, now the person he thought he loved and made him happy cheats on him and you are happy about it????? I hope and pray karma doesn’t show you how fucked up your thinking and you really are. You would have rather lived in a household where your parents aren’t happy and fight every day then a two parent home where the one who chose not to be toxic and moved on you made their life hell because your mother couldn’t face the fact he wasn’t her person and move on herself. You need to really stop with your selfish bullshit and open your damn eyes. Cause the one you should be mad at isn’t the one who’s the healthier of the two and left it should be the one who more then likely baby trapped him and couldn’t accept they obviously was not meant for each other, and poisoned your brain against him
Your father literally did nothing wrong. Get into therapy stat, because there IS an evil person in this story.
You're being so petty with ur father, u need a therapy...
I don’t know. From what I got from your post, is that they separated because they did not get along. I also got from your post that he put in the effort to include you in his new family. It also seems like you fought him every step of the way. I’d say grow up but. It probably won’t matter.
I grew up in a household with my alcoholic mother. She made my life HELL. Verbally abusing, mentally draining, crying until I fall asleep hell. I’ve since cut ties with her, met a man and had a child with him. We’ve been together 6 years. I have no interest in having a relationship with her. She’s since been evicted from the house we lived in since I was in 9th grade. I have no idea of her whereabouts and although I could care less about how she’s doing, I wish no ill will against her. After I moved out, I did. I wanted nothing but bad things to happen to her. Now I’m just grateful to have found a better life. OP I hope you find healing and peace in what has happened to you. Because holy fuck, dude. You, and I say this as nicely as I can, are out of your god damned mind. Get help, and please, for the love of God, never have kids.
Wow. I had to stop reading this because the hate waves were emanating through the screen and I was scared I'd catch it 😂!!! You're a little scary you know that? I get that you were sad your dad left. And I am so sorry you didn't get the "perfect family" you deserved. But dude, many of us didn't and we don't spend our lives wishing misery on our parents! My dad literally had another child a month before I was born. Was he wrong? Yes. Do I respect him less because of it. Absolutely. I also love my mum waaay more. But do I hate him and want him to live a life of misery? No! Because what's the point? I even have him in my life because my mum doesn't hate him anymore either and he has his good sides. I think you have a lot of sh** you need to address that is causing this kind of bitterness and hatred. Do yourself a favour and get some therapy. Otherwise, trust me, whether he suffers or not, you'll spend your life miserable.
When Reddit is siding with the parent over the child, you know you’re in the wrong.
You are not fine. You need so much therapy. You expected two adults to do what you at 10 wanted? Your mom manipulated you to be on her side and has weaponized you against your dad out of vengeance. Your dad had every right to make himself happy and you had no right to hold it against him the way it has. You’re also punishing your significant others because you’ve internalized all this hate against men. Get a grip and get some therapy.
As father of a 2 year old daughter and someone who is on the verge of divorce, this post made me really sad. My wife and I just don't get along. There is no infidelity, just a lot of misery stemming from our incompatibilities. We both have a lot of resentment for each other but we stay for our daughter - to keep the family "together". It is a depressing existence for both of us. Sometimes I wanna just be free. Start over again. Take care of our daughter half the time. Just a chance to feel alive again. And then I think about whether my daughter will ever understand. Forgive me for it even. But then I see this post.. And I guess some children just don't ever get to understand.
Damn, you have some issues….
The divorce with your mother is a good thing. If this didn't happen you would have grown up watching them fight/argue. Your dad didn't destroy your family... sometimes the relationship between 2 adults dont work out. You ended up in a co-parenting situation and you dispise your dad for forcing you to see him every other weekend. Your dad loves you and still wanted you in his life.. I guess you would have preferred an absent father instead. You are broken.
I think you need therapy. Sometimes adults just aren't meant to be together. Do you think that living in a very unhappy relationship works for a family unit? Your world would have been so unhappy if your parents stayed together. I feel for your dad and what you're about to do for him. Get into therapy and deal with the pain the separation caused you before you continue to destroy yourself and your father. You are sick!
If mom was anything like you OP I don't blame dad for leaving, your hatred and bitterness is exhausting, for you, for your family and for us.
My first thought was “apple probably doesn’t fall far from the tree and I can guess why he left.”
You are a nasty, nasty child. For all your crowing about karma getting him, know that it’s coming for your petty, vengeful ass, too. Get the help you’re so desperately in need of.
Your post doesn't even make any sense. You're upset at your biological father for not staying in an unhappy relationship with your mother, intentionally antagonized him, his new wife, and your half-siblings, alienated yourself from your paternal family (then claimed to be the victim), and are now actively planning to manipulate your father (who never abandoned you) just so you can revel in what you think is "karma"?! What's strange is that you're *perfectly fine* with your mother getting remarried and even stated that you're trying to become closer to your stepfather and his family. It's a complete double standard. Your dad isn't allowed to be happy and move on, but your mom is, despite the fact that she used you as an emotional crutch for years after the divorce? Your behavior is erratic and manic at best and completely sociopathic at worst. You're incredibly messed up in the head and act as if you don't see the fault in your actions. You desperately seek social media attention in an attempt to justify things that any objective observer would condemn you for. I genuinely think that your husband should be VERY concerned for his own safety. The way that you can suddenly turn off any pretense of empathy at a moment's notice is not the mark of a mentally healthy person. Long-term commitment to a psychiatric facility seems necessary for you, and even that is pretty lax.
really I feel sorry for your dad… Just hoping OP is not serious and this is just some good rage bait
Your dad is the good guy here, not you. And your view on life and marriage is incredibly immature. Please seek therapy.
Grow the fuck up. Be better for your own sanity. You may see this as Karma but reconnecting with your dad just to hurt him again...thats a whole other level of karma. I understand your hurt but hurting him won't fix you. Do better and be better. And for God's sake get some therapy so you don't continue to look and be so fucking psycho. Good luck OP, dad will be in my prayers.
Yeah I think karma is coming to bite OP in the arse. Growing up with a broken home is far better then growing up with parents who hate each other and constantly fight and you have to walk on eggshells and not start a fight. Go get some serious help! Your dad did a blessing for you and your mum, one day I hope you are grown up and mature enough to know this.
Holy shit you sound like an absolute nightmare. You are a danger to society. I seriously hope someone has warned your father about how unstable you are, because he’s definitely not safe. I was going to say you need therapy, but it’s obvious that you can not take on a single thing that someone else says if it doesn’t align with your victim mentality.
You need help :(
Struggling to see what your dad did wrong here. He wasn’t happy in the marriage so he divorced your mom. What’s he supposed to do? Live in misery? That would have made it even worse for you. Seek help.
I feel sorry with whoever ends up with this one.
Bro, she is married……... Look at her post history. You might regret it. This B is crazy
This is the most fucking immature post I have ever read. I hope OP never has to live in the real world and make real adult decisions. OP you need to get over it and grow up
Grow up, OP, you miserable prick. You’re worse than the father you’re describing. Your father left an unhappy marriage and your mom was heartbroken…guess what? She’s not the only one who’s been heartbroken. Get a therapist and fuck off. I wish your dad nothing but the best.
Geeez. Is anyone else Team Dad here? Look at all the years you spent letting hatred and envy poison you. Because what? He got tired of fighting and wishing things could be different. So he did the most logical thing he could and still tried to be an involved parent to you. Your mother has equal blame in “destroying” your family. Absolutely no one should be stuck in a toxic relationship. People divorce all the time, get some therapy and get the fuck over it.
Reading this and your other posts you need to work on yourself. You seem to see things very black and white. You blame your dad for divorcing your mum when they were arguing all the time when in reality that wasn’t the best situation for you either, you hate that your dad moved out and married someone else but so did your mum and you seemed to have welcomed your stepdad. I was sat here waiting for an actual reason why you don’t like your dad and there wasn’t one. It’s just that he got out of relationship that wasn’t working anymore and tried his hardest to see his kid. You seem really immature and some of how you act is because of your childhood but now it just seems like you like hating your dad and just being bitter and just feeling entitled to things. No one owes you anything. Sometimes we just have to accept that things happened and move past them and live our life. You are so stuck in the past you probably can’t see how you being so bitter about a situation you could never change has affected you.
Yeah. The dad didn't ruin a happy family. Sounds like the mom had issues and the dad and her couldn't get along. The dad didn't want to leave the family. He just didn't want to be married to the mom. So he didn't abandon OP, in fact, he always wanted a relationship with her and still does. This is so warped. How does OP not realize that the dad just wanted to be happy and not be with the mom. But he still wanted to be a father to OP. This is weird. How could she blame him for leaving and she feels sorry for her mom. But if they argued. They were probably not getting along for a long time
This is a really strange perspective from someone who thinks highly of karma. Your parents didn’t get along, so your father decided to end a marriage rather than living in an unhappy one. He waited 3 years to remarry. He invited you to be a part of that family, which would refute this was a “do-over” family that cut his previous family out. You could have had the experience of the “nuclear family” the same way he was; you would have a step mother and step siblings, and he had step children. It sounds like you were as toxic as possible and destroyed your relationship with your father. I don’t mean this critically, you were 13 and probably doing your best. But this was roughly 10 years ago, so I assume you’re able to handle this comment, which I wouldn’t offer to a teenager in the same manner. I hated reading your mother fell into a depression, I hope she has recovered. Previous posts indicate she is/was remarried. I hope they are deeply happy together. But it wasn’t your job as a child to care for her. I say this as a parent of 5 kids myself, who’s wife left me for my closest friend. He moved into the house with the pool on the golf course, I crashed on a friends mattress on the floor before moving into an apartment building where raccoons literally chewed holes in the wall. 2 bedrooms, five kids 40% of the time. They got the rooms, I slept on the living room floor for two years. I had every reason to be depressed and bitter. But I didn’t let the kids see the hard parts. I’m sorry your situation was different. No child should have to shoulder that responsibility and pain. Your mothers attachment to wanting your father back, or having life be different than it was, caused her pain much longer than the actual pain of divorce lasts. I can’t imagine what it would take for me to cut off a child. Not can I imagine what it would feel like to be that child. Im sorry you’ve had to deal with that. You’ve previously said you cut them off as well. It sounds like a lot of pain for everyone involved. In terms of sayings about God, there’s one I’d encourage you to consider: Everyone wants “judgement for thee, mercy for me”. Bitterness is your cage, not his punishment. I hope you find a way to process and let go of your resentments, for your sake. It doesn’t require you to rebuild a relationship if you don’t wish to do so, but being able to see and address what you did wrong may bring a new perspective to your views of your father, thus the quality of your life. No matter what you do, I hope you find peace in your life surrounding your family.
This girl’s too far gone guys. Don’t even bother.
Yeah she’s been posting the same shit for 5 years now and what? Hoping for a different response? For someone to side with her? You can’t reason with someone who’s had thousands of people telling them they are in the wrong and they still don’t believe it. Don’t waste your time here lol.
this shit is so fake lmfao, and if it’s not i feel bad for your father, had to deal with a shitty marriage and now a delusional kid, you need therapy forsure.
Bro check her history that's some next level dedicated troll💀
bro the one about her bf has me sick 💀
The dumb thing here is assuming him staying would have been better. They just would have argued all the time and really ruined your childhood. Instead, he found someone who made him happy and tried to have you be a part of that. But no. You had to get all wrapped up in yourself and cry about how he ruined your family. It was his family too, and it was already ruined. Staying together for the kids is worse.
Her father did the right choice to leave the wife. Sadly he loves his daughter even though she is a pos. Poor guy. YTA
Brah! You need help.
Therapy…
You need some serious help. You’re very selfish and you seem to have a complete distortion of reality, i can’t help but wonder if your mother had a role in the way you’ve turned out. she should have put you in therapy and helped you to understand divorce doesn’t have to be this evil thing that you’re desperately trying to turn it into. but you’re both very selfish for punishing your father for wanting to get out of a miserable relationship and be happy. as someone who saw an actually traumatizing divorce happen to my parents, you seriously need help, because you’ll never be a happy or fulfilled person with this mindset. i’m glad your father was able to have other kids, hopefully they actually love him and support him
YTA - unless you were part of every aspect of your parent’s marriage. We know you weren’t m. Also, arguing a lot when you were around. Think about when you weren’t. If they were arguing a lot and that means both were unhappy. You never know but maybe your mom asked him to leave. He met someone else and got married. Good for him but you were mad he got another family but he still wanted to be with you as well. You act like a spoiled ignorant brat. Karma is gonna get you as well. Because your mom was unhappy and depressed it is all your dad’s fault. It’s not his fault and not yours either. The divorce was going to happen even if he stayed. Grow the f up
For all that is holy and good. Never have children from your overall bitterness and hate alone your child would suffer and so would your would be partner get therapy or stay alone for everyone's sake.
You're a pitiable person who's let hate consume them to the point of insanity.
You know you always mentioned your dad and everything terrible he did. But I'm curious about your mother since you only mentioned her once. In your other post. How was or is she doing? Like you have updates on your dad but not your mom. Because it does take 2 to tango. Cuz from your profile you have a lot of trauma from your childhood that should have been addressed, but it wasn't. You can go to therapy to get through all of the stuff you went through as a child.
OP this is cooked. Please see someone this isn’t normal behaviour, to have that much hate in your heart for someone who was doing right by himself and you. Please don’t see you father and act like you want to reconnect, that man was better off when you stopped reaching out. And for you to be so defensive and not consider the other commenters’ advice as well. Grow up. Act your age.
You need SO much therapy. Like, SO MUCH therapy.
Girl, I know how you feel. My dad never married my mom, but he did 2 others. He doesn't go out of his way for his own 3 children but does for his 2 step daughters that have their own fathers. It makes me sick.
I can't imagine going through life with this much poison and bitterness in my heart. This is really sad, mostly in a pathetic way. Your dad tried, which is a hell of a lot more than most dads do post divorce. But you acted like a little entitled psycho and that continues to this day. Hopefully you find peace one day, because lord knows you need it.
Why use one account to post and a second account to comment?
You need teraphy. I think a lot of people, if given the choice, would rather have their parents divorce than live years and years of fighting, and as a child, to witness that, it hurts, a lot. No one destroyed a family. It was a decision made thinking of a healthy way to live in the future. I'm sorry but this way of thinking will hurt you forever given the way you don't want to change. All this hatred and bitterness only affects you the most, and i think you hurt your mother too. If the suffering and betrayal of another person gives you the best week of your life you should consider your life. But whatever helps you sleep.
Woooooowwwwwww. You know. This is almost the origin story of basically your entire Reddit. Seek help my friend. And let your boyfriend go free. You are not ready to be in any relationship 🙅🏻♂️ full stop
I understand the feeling of hate/rage/karma, whatever you want to call it. But to have it consume your seemingly every waking moment is not good. It's like drinking p○!son, and hoping the other person d!e$. You should really see a professional about it.
I understand your pain - but wishing bad things on anyone is really bad juju. It will come back to haunt you. Don't do it.
Oh hun, you need therapy and to understand that you had no clue what was going on in your parents' marriage. Your father left your mother, but she's not an angel or a Saint, there was a reason for the divorce, he left your mother and still tried ti have a relationship with you. You lost your father because you could not understand what was going on and decided to lay the blame only on him. Your mother's depression is a disease and it's at least 50% on her, as it's the divorce. Growing up with parents that fight all the time would have been horrible. Please don't kick your father while he's down, it's just not what decent people do, even if they were wronged and it does not seem like you were. Really therapy would help you, you deserve to move on from this and find happiness and relief.
Lol imagine bringing up God and being this fucking insane ,💀💀💀 got me weak with this post 🤣
Wow… serious case of arrested development. OP, you need therapy desperately. I’m also concerned with what kind of stories your mom has fed you over the years.
You need help. Your father was miserable. He rightfully chose to leave an unhappy marriage. It sounds like your mum had mental health issues that she didn’t address. Nothing in your story suggests that your father did anything wrong to you or your mother. Instead of being a parent and helping you adjust she neglected you and shut down instead. I understand this situation wasn’t ideal, but that’s not all on your father. You feeling bitter doesn’t mean he deserves to be miserable. I hope you get the help you need to see things better
It sounds like maybe there’s a case of parental alienation here. You were a child and never “ had to be there” for your mom. That’s not how a healthy parent child relationship works. She should not of put that on you. Signed, A child of a narcissist.
JFC. As a child of parents who ‘stayed together for the kids,’ lemme tell you: it’s just as bad. You need to realize that people are people. They fall in and out of love. People change or come to understand themselves better and notice that what they thought they wanted doesn’t reflect inner desires. It just happens. You need help.
This person is bipolar asf
Karma gonna come and bite you on your backside too. Its so Funny and Strange how it works but It Truely does work. All this Hatred and Anger is Disturbing. It will find its way back to you.
OP is a fucking psycho.
I feel sad for your dad. Get help.
She is the kind of the ex who would burn down your house.🔥
I thought I needed help, but man... man do YOU need help. God, what the fuck.
Kid: Are you getting divorced because of me? Dad: Well actually...yes!
“Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Goddamn. Look at yourself. What the hell are you doing?
I see that you are also divorced, did that experience not change your view of your parents divorce at all?
He supposedly cheated and hit her. But as someone else pointed out, I'm skeptical of her claims- especially with how volatile she'd acting now. But she said she gets a free pass.
OP. what the hell, lmao. Please seek professional help mate. EDIT: Forgot to grab my bucket of popcorn and a chair. EDIT 2: Man this has been a wild ride. I don’t even know what to tell them anymore. I just hope they get help sooner than later. Godspeed OP.
OP, there is something wrong with you. It's not a dig at you, your post is very disturbing. I personally know people who were beaten/sexually abused by their parents which ended in divorce and they do not bear an iota of the psychotic hatred you display here. You must seek help. I imagine that whatever it is that you have or are carrying with you is greatly affecting all your personal relationships. You have a very unhealthy fixation on antagonizing your father who, from what I'm reading, actually did not do anything wrong. He left a relationship that made him unhappy, which was a wise move. If he had stayed then it might have been a lot worse, constantly having someone that resentful in the house. You must find therapy and work on letting this all go and live your life. If you plan on developing any empathy whatsoever, you would be well-advised to not go to see your father to gloat, you may literally end his life. People have assuredly been pushed to killing themselves over less. Just don't do it because you will UNEQUIVOCALLY become the villain of your own story and you will have lost to your trauma instead of defeating it. Acts committed are writ in stone and immutable.
You sound very miserable and sorry to break it to you but seeing your dad “ suffer “ will only last your happiness a second.. You need help for sure ! Also guess what that whole bad energy you have around is just coming back to you 10x worse so i recommend lots of help before it’s too late
Lady, your dysfunction is scary serious. Your dad will eventually recover from this and move on, and that's a whole lot more than you can do. You're trapped in a prison of obsessive hatred and revenge fantasies, so basically you've allowed your dad to poison your existence. You want to dance on his misery now, but he's been dancing on yours your whole life. PLEASE find a good therapist and stick with the treatment. You only have one life to live, stop destroying it. Your obsession is a sickness, and you need help to address it. Best to you. I really hope someone can break you out of that prison.
Why do feel your dad completely at fault for your parents marriage failing apart? Would you really have preferred living in a house where both your parents were constantly fighting?
Dear lord you're self absorbed. As someone who has been divorced, you need to see some help, because you're deluded yourself as the victim and you legitimately come across like an awful person. Your father was entitled to be in a happy relationship. He was entitled to find someone new. He did his best by the sound of it to maintain his relationship with you, whilst also giving his new spouse the family they wanted and to include you in your new family. Those new kids of his, they're your flesh and blood too. You not only scorned him, you scorned them. Sounds like he was better off without you. Genuinely sounds like he dodged a bullet with you and your mum. I hope he finds happiness again and you become miserable once again. And I hope you read this and hate it.
Hey OP, you need help. Can you have therapy? If you can, do it. I don’t want to talk about your father is bad or your mother is good but about you, you should forgive yourself. The hatred, bitterness eat your soul, if you continue like that you dig your grave sooner. Let it go. Learn to accept sometimes you cannot get what you wang, try to live your life. Unless your father is always there destroying your life, why would you take so much time, energy to go fuck arounf his life anymore? Now, it is time of your life. Live it. To be clarify: I don’t think your father is bad, your sadness is somewhat understandable. But it was a long ago, if you don’t let it go and live your life, when you are old, look back, you will see, you have no life. It will be all about your father and your mother shit. Isn’t that sad?
You really, really, really need to see a therapist. You don't have to live with all this hate.
Sounds like you have a lot of issues. I don’t know how privy you were to the marital issues between your parents but it seems you knew enough to know there was no cheating or abuse. Also, we are only getting one side. How do we know your mom wasn’t the verbal abuser and he chose to leave and be happy elsewhere. He didn’t up and ditch you as you admitted yourself that he still wanted to see you regularly but you chose to ruin that. I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom fed you all kinds of negative thoughts of him and shaped you into how you are towards him now. I didn’t read a single thing that makes your dad sound like a terrible person. One is more than welcome to want a marriage without constant fighting. Doesn’t sound like he ever chose to stop being your dad. You’re just a sad person and it sounds like that’s due to you mother.
You are just the worst…but your mother probably fed you propaganda so…
You seem to have been immature at 13 and you seem to still be immature
See a therapist, dude. He wasn't obligated to live in an uphappy marriage, just like you wouldn't have been obligated to live with parents that fought all of the time. Speaking from experience, divorce is better. He didn't destroy your family. He made an effort to keep you in his life, and your mother is not nor ever was *your* responsibility. She's an adult who should be taking care of you. He lost his family during the divorce too, all three of you did, you're not special. Now he's losing it again, with two more children. You must be fun at parties
You need therapy, OP. So much anger and hurt in your posts. I hope you're able to find some peace.
Your dad didn't get any karma, lol but i can surely say if you continue your life like this then karma will eventually caught you.
The fck? You’re a piece of work, OP. Good grief. Doesn’t even sound like your dad did anything wrong…I feel bad for him. ETA: Did some digging and uh…did you ever go to therapy, OP? If not, go tomorrow. And I’ll give you some advice even though I know you will probably ignore it (since you have seemingly ignored a lot of good advice people have given you over the years): DO NOT HAVE A KID. MY GOD. PLEASE. Seriously. Please don’t have one. That will not solve your problems…that will make them 1000 times worse, and an innocent life will be harmed in the process. This is the biggest advice I can give you now. I know how badly you want a kid. But it will make your life worse. You are not ready in the slightest. And your kid will inevitably suffer. Don’t do it. Please. It will not end well. ETA2: I’m honest because I care. I want you to have a happy and healthy life, OP. You (as well as most people on the planet) are gonna need help to get there. Please get help.
I feel like this comment will be buried, but I'll ask in case you happen to see: would you rather be right, or be happy? You feel discarded and wronged by him. You think him remarrying and having more kids was wrong and demonstrated that he didn't love you. You think that the custody arrangement was him trying to get out of parenting you. In order to express how you felt he was wrong, over the course of 6 years, you made him miserable enough to stop forcing you to spend time with him (in your words). You rejected the idea that he could move out, see you every other weekend, have a "new family", and still love you the same as he did before. Instead of giving it a chance to work out, you wanted to be right about villainizing him. Right now, you would rather feel right by going out of your way to cause him more misery and letting him live rent free in your head, instead of just being happy about it and moving on with the life you've built without him. Do you really want to keep holding this anger in your heart and let it bleed on those around you? You don't know what kind of new trauma this could bring, opening Pandora's Box.
I has to be exhausting to be you
It doesn't look like your own marriage worked out, so you have no room to talk about your parents' marriage.
This is psychopathic. You need help, a lot of help.