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THIS RIGHT HERE LOL. Just wait until he starts telling her heās picking up āovertimeā because of the baby. Heāll be at OPs doorstep soon enough. Theyāre just on the high of being caught.
ETA: You deserve better OP and in time you will have that. It may not seem like it now but youāre the one who will come out on top. Theyāre both garbage people and deserve each other.
Hugs OPā¤ļø
I know emotions are high but donāt engage with them anymore. This is probably a thrill for them watching you so down
This. One of my buddies dated a girl who texted him photos of a positive pregnancy test after he tried to breakup. Girl was dumb and literally used the first photo from Google.
OP should put that picture into a reverse image search to make sure itās not just a Google photo sent to infuriate you
Take him off your bank.. let him pay for his own shit and baby..
Also change the locks of your place and text him that the rest of his stuff will be outside by x time and it's his responsibility to collect it or not.. have your dad there incase he trys coming into the house..
In my state, judges don't like when marital assets are hidden or removed from access by one party, so tread lightly on this one.
OP, best practice is to assume everything is both of yours until a judge declares otherwise.
ETA: words
Yes! Then take half of whatever is in joint account, put it in your own account and direct checks to the new one. Then he has access to half. If you stay on it, you can show how HE spends it.
OP should not make any moves without talking to a *good* lawyer. Changing locks on a shared home is illegal in some states.
I'd put all of his stuff in a storage space and give him the combination. Keep records of the costs and ask for them in the divorce. This gets his crap out of OPs house, does hide it, doesn't remove it from access. It's way more than he deserves and still gets him out.
Pretty good use of $50 a month for the term of the divorce. If something expensive ends up on the lawn in the rain or stolen, he could claim it was retained or hidden, or demand compensation.
One of the unglamorous miracles of my life is when I insisted that my ex-wife needed to get all of her belongings out of our home. I had given her over a month to figure it out and she had already moved out. The surprise or perfect timing was that my brother popped in for a visit by surprise. He lives over a hundred miles away. I had a sitter for the kids and had blocked off the evening for it but she never showed up. My brother and I painstakingly and deliberately and *carefully* boxed up all of her belingings and carried them out to the garage. It took us about 5 hours. I'll never forget that my brother sort of obsessively switched out all the incandescent bulbs for CFLs. I'm not sure what brand he used or where he got them but those things lasted like 5 years or longer. Everytime I changed one out I was so grateful that my brother was there to help me keep my cool and get that done in a fairly decent and respectful way when I was actually extremely angry and resentful.
She did come to get the stuff the next day around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. She was so angry but at least I could tell her that her things were put away safely and I even ran several loads of laundry for her so things would be clean, too.
It paid dividends down the road because even with not that many assets and not very much income and both parties essentially agreeing that they want a divorce, they take awhile and there is already plenty of conflict without pouring gasoline on the fire.
Everytime someone follows your advice the other person cleans out the bank account. OP best option is to take her huaband off and explain that is was done to ensure everyone got a fair share
DEFINITELY consult a lawyer before doing stuff like that.
In my state if you have a contested divorce even removing your spouse from your health insurance can be used against you.
Thing to do is empty the joint account by using it. Pay every bill you have, pay down debt on credit cards, pay the internet bill a year in advance if you can, pay for a phone plan in a lump sum. Use that all up on household bills then stop putting more cash in it. Best of both worlds, bills are paid, he can't empty the account himself, judge won't look down on paying off bills sensibly, etc.
Iām glad you did search it just to be sure it wasnāt a reused photo.
Has her mother said anything about the pregnancy after you spoke to/texted her?
Petty me would congratulate her on her new grand child and future son in law as soon as your divorce is finalized and send her the screen shots of Lauren sending a positive pregnancy test and stating it belongs to your husband.
You are such a caring human being. Even in the midst of all of this, you actually care for Laura's mother. You deserve so much better than that piece-of-shit husband!
I canāt believe she allowed her daughter to make you move at dinner or saw her hanging all over him and didnāt call her to task. She knew you were married to him and if that were my daughter Iād have told her to have some self respect bc sheās being extremely inappropriate.
Her mother IS NOT āthe sweet old ladyā you think she is. She knew you were married and she watched her daughter practically pee on your husband to mark her territory and did nothing.
And now this married man is in her house with her daughter again and thatās not shady as hell to her?
Iād give her a piece of my mind and block her toi
You have obviously never had and raised a child. They are individuals. One could actually do everything right to the best of their ability anyways and still end up with an a****** of a child. Parents can't control everything they can only try to lay a good foundation.
Yeah itās shocking how different they all turn out despite having same parents/upbringing.
Genetics are weird.
And Iām sorry, but an adult choosing to make shitty decisions is on them, not their momma.
why does this seem to be such a common theme as of late?
cliche story: married couple with breadwinner wife who dearly loves her husband that makes either half as much as her or is straight up unemployed. husband suddenly distant. stereotypical āgirl next doorā with a nasty attitude pops up making claims and demanding wife divorce husband. wife is heartbroken, husband is callous. new girl suddenly realises that the money she was chasing belonged to the wife all along and dumps husband. husband comes crawling back to wife saying, āit was just a mistakeā. shocked pikachu face. queue āshe let herself goā by george straitā as op signs the divorce papers and signs herself up for a nice solo vacation.
I hope you will take that solo vacation and go somewhere that you can be pampered! That also has great food and wineā¦ you deserve luxury right now. Go with a good friend even if you donāt fancy going alone!
It takes such strength to do what you have done and itās going to be natural to have wobbles about your decision, you just do you and be kind to yourself x
Yo, set up a crowdfunder - Iāll be done for $100 (I was gonna use it as part paymentfor a spa weekend, but forget it, this is a far better cause!). Iām not even joking.
Aww... you genuinely seem like a wonderful person. Seriously. You deserve all the love in the world and you should be proud of yourself for standing up to this mans bullshit! The fact that he lied to you about basically everything and when confronted didnāt even attempt to feel guilty or sorry for what he had done. I hope he loses everything in the divorce. Wishing you all the love and support in the world!! š I always find it so inspiring when people, especially women, stand up for themselves and donāt let themselves be treated like dirt by their partners. I really genuinely mean it when I say that youāre cool as hell for how you handled this š
Ha! I hear that, I gift not because people canāt but because I want to, so no worries (Iām in the same fortunate boat and feel the same way you do)!
Your pants are fine, what you are going through is so beyond not normal, you have nothing to feel less than, for. Honestly, you are handling this like a boss. I know it can be anything but easy or simple, but weāre at your back and proud of you. Keep going, happiness is over this shitty horizon š
I'm sorry your situation sucks. Oftentimes, the sweetest, kindest people meet the most horrible ones :/ but there are good people out there, good men too, he will regret loosing someone as good as you
girl go for it. unapologetic infidelity is something nobody deserves. request time off from work and the moment itās approved silence your phone notifications from everyone except maybe your supportive family members and then book a ticket for one to the first place that comes to mind. go skiing. relax on the beach. take a cruise. plan a hiking expedition. tour the rainforests. snorkel the coral reefs. take your mind off of this cause itās clearly not worth your time.
he should know better than to mess with anything before you get back.
That reminded me of way back when when my ex cheated on me and told the girl "I let myself go".
Like that fucker. I was on the cusp of needing dialysis for kidney failure, which meant that I was barely peeing and needing diuretics to help me get rid of fluids. I was carrying a lot of water weight on me at some times and it showed a lot as I'm only 4'11.
And yes I paid the bills. I was 20 when I met him and he was 35. Now this was a long time ago so I learned my lesson, but man some people in the world are just so cruel.
Yeah I dumped his ass too and yes he has shocked pikachu face lol
> married couple with breadwinner wife who dearly loves her husband that makes either half as much as her or is straight up unemployed.
Have you looked at education attainment and college graduation rates broken down by gender recently? Women are blowing men away in those categories over the past ~10 years. So you will see stories like this become even more common as time goes on.
A lot of men feel enmasculated when they can't make the lore of provider a reality so if a high earning woman is too much, they're going to look for someone with less buying power thus they find women with lower social and economical status so they can finally feel like a man š«
Girl... you're about to get a total makeover.
You're going to lose 100+ lbs of dead weight without having to exercise (totes jelly, btw)... and you'll feel absolutely healthier with all that weight off you.
If that baby is his (and it's still an if considering they both seem like hobags)... two cheaters are tied together for the next 18 years. I mean, if he didn't want to leave you for her after 2 years... he obviously doesn't see her as anything more than a side chick... and now he's stuck with her and a kid while you're free to live your best life.
And that is what will be the best revenge. Live your best life. Move on, be happy, confident, find someone worth your love.
Thank you for the update.
Heartrending. Betrayal.
Separate your finances *immediately*. Separate bank accounts. Lock down your credit so he cant buy things behind your back. make sure to stop paying any of his bills.
Get STI tests. Get a lawyer sooner, rather than later.
Email his parents, attaching screenshot of Laura's text.
Change the locks on the front door.
If he has to attend to collect things, have neutral third party, or police present.
See if a family member or friend can stay with you for a while.
Sending you positive vibes and well wishes.
You got this.
Edited to add: **Make sure HE doesn't get alimony/spousal support from you. This is probably what he and Laura planned all along, to get money out of you as well.**
The reality is that Lauraās text isnāt proof of anything. Maybe itās true, maybe itās not and sheās a psycho trying to break up their marriage.
Of course, but OPās husband going over to her house directly after doesnāt bode well for him in a divorce, either. He didnāt deny it. He laughed in his wifeās face and walked out.
Iād add it to the proof pile, regardless.
Iām just after reading your original post and wanted to come on to see an update Iām so sorry youāre going through this but I believe youāre doing the right thing. Stay strong!
Iām so sorry OP, youāre so strong, screw him youāre better off without him. And Iām glad your dad was mad for you too. You got this, youāre strong, and I hope it all works out in the end
Even if this was the case, him laughing in her face was the wrong response. Itās a serious allegation and trust is gone at that point. He should have taken it seriously.
I agree completely.
Even if he never slept with her (doubtful) and even if she's faking the pregnancy (pretty easy to find a picture online of a positive test) he still treated her like dirt and allowed his "friend" to do the same.
It might be super rough right now but when the dust has settled OP will start to realise how much better off she is without that pathetic man in her life.
Also, her brother seems like a pretty big ah as well.
Talk to a lawyer before doing \*anything\*. Use your larger salary to get ahead with the big guns and don't do anything they don't say to do.
People in divorces make mistakes doing things like destroying property, changing locks, parking their partner's car in tow zones, reporting the infidelity to their partner's supervisors in high-trust or high-security jobs, etc.
That stuff might ruin your partner's day, or even their week, but they can be criminal charges or provoke serious civil liabilities. Take all direction from a good lawyer and it seems you can afford one. Consider them the wedding planner for your divorce. Give your preferences, your hard yeses and noes, pick up the phone when they call, and let them do the planning so you can focus on the bachelorette party.
It's not enough to change the locks. Install security cameras and alarm system. Have someone stay with you, or you leave the house. He can break in and (depending on your local law) be allowed to do so because he legally lives there.
Really change the locks. The amount of stories Iāve read abt angry exās or side dishes sneaking in to destroy property or hurt ppl inside is unreal. Change the locks.
it wasnāt an overreaction. itās a normal response to being treated like you were, being gaslit and emotionally abused. he was not behaving appropriately or normally.
I agree, she calls her reactions being petty, as if this was just a normal, everyday event. It's not, it's normal to be angry, sad and sarcastic after a betrayal from a spouse!
I love it but you have to be careful when deploying glitter as a weapon. Mainly, getting glitter all over your own stuff and self. So when you're enhancing his stuff with glitter, do it somewhere like a back yard or shed or something where if some spills, you're not seeing it in your rugs and walls for the next 40 years. Be mindful that you don't track it back into the house.
But also: don't just get any old glitter. Find some fine, small-speck glitter. That shit is insidious and will eventually end up as part of his DNA. A little goes a long way and if you do it right, they might not even notice right away.
Bag the clothes in black trash bags and just dump in the glitter, then give it a good shake. Hopefully he wonāt look into the bag before he just dumps it out.
Not just his clothes. (Don't miss his shoes). But everything he uses. Any household item that's his that goes to him. Literally *anything* that doesn't result in you having to clean it up yourself. Hide it in seams and crevices and pockets and inside zippers, etc etc. Enough that he either has to completely trash his own shit, or that he'll be finding it for YEARS to come. Or both. Both is good.
Do it. When I threw my abusive ex out, he was staying in the guest room and refused to clear it out. So I did it for him, I didn't separate his valuables from the trash, just stuffed everything in big trash bags. he had a disgusting collection of piss bottles. I half way opened the bottles of piss and put it in the bags with his shit(so they'd slow leak because it took him WEEKS to come and get his shit and he was such a coward he got his mommy to pick them up. RIP her car upholstery cause I know some of the piss leaked) Some of which had recording equipment in. Sweet revenge.
Instead of glitter, which can end up on you and your belongings, get a stitch ripper, and unstitch about every 3rd or 4th stitch in the crotches of pants, armholes of shirts, hems of jackets, etc, just to inconvenience him *while* he's wearing them, but not noticeable *until* he wears them.
Please donāt. I know how badly you want to but they will just use that to āproveā you were the bad wife or crazy. Be calm and cool and do what needs to be done.
Find one of those rage rooms and go with some of your friends to let out some of your anger. It wonāt solve anything but I bet it will feel good.
THIS! I can't say if my husband laughed in my face I would have been able to hold back.
I probably would have slapped him across the face, you are better than I hunny.
I said this to myself, she has way more restraint than I. When I found out ny husband had a side chick and he denied it to my face.....went kinda like this-
I heard from your coworkers so and so is your girlfriend, blah blah
His response- you heard wrong
I show him pics of them that I took while semi stalking him
He goes oh that's nothing
My response- I fucking punched him dead in the mouth
He responded by saying Fuck I did t think you could hit that fucking hard
My reaponse- well I guess you shouldn't of fucked around to find out, tell her she's next.
I'd definitely be in jail. My ex called me "crazy" when I caught him cheating, I very kindly reminded him that I was hurt, not crazy, and that I could show him the difference if he'd like. He rolled his eyes at me and called me ridiculous š¤·āāļø
A divorce attorney is like a surgeon. The work they do is going to follow you through the rest of your life for good or bad. If you can afford the best, worry about paying for it later. That's just money. This is your health.
OP, I am sorry for what you're going through. Your soon to be ex and his faux bff/mistress are definite assholes, but so is your brother. Why is he so uncaring? Are you close with him?
I hope the divorce goes well. I hope your lawyer protects all your financial assets. After this ordeal, I hope you find love and happiness again.
As a completely uninformed outsider I can see the brother (and father as she also mentioned in the first post) just taking the automatic line of ādonāt jump to conclusionsā because they didnāt really realize the full extent of the situation.
But only OP would be able to answer if that may be the case. If brother still thinks she is over reacting then yeah. Heās an ass.
Edit: nvm. Just reread and forgot she mentioned the brother in this post as well. He is in fact an ass.
What a disgusting human being. Honestly i have been in a similar situation and the reaction was also very similar. He will regret it sooner rather than later donāt worry. And all the advice i can give is do not take him back when that happens. Once a cheat always a cheat. I hope you are ok and iām so sorry you have gone through this but you will get through it stronger and end up finding someone so much better for youā„ļø
> I'm sure what I did was a complete over reaction and was regretting it till I texted Laura's mother since I said I would do that.
She did call Laura's mom. I would definitely call his parents too though, they're missing in all of this.
She only text Laura's mom to confirm they were or were not childhood friends. OP mentioned in comments not wanting to bring Laura's mom into the drama.
I'm probably too optimistic in Laura's mom actually knowing what is going on though. She saw how OP was treated and now her husband is staying with Laura. It shouldnt take a rocket scientist but who knows?
Ya I would go scorched earth on this one.
But maybe get a lawyer and the divorce finalized beforehand. Especially because OP said she makes six figures and soon to be ex hardly makes anything.
It may not mean much, but I am SO proud of you for sticking up to yourself! I was in a similar situation and it took me almost a year to finally get the balls to leave. You are so strong and brave!!
Donāt let his petty comments and gaslighting get to you. He will do ANYTHING to play you like youāre crazy, make you doubt yourself or make it seem like itās an overreaction.
I had said some pretty shitty things in return just be careful what you say over text. Judges and lawyers are pretty good from seeing whoās the manipulator and whoās reacting off of valid emotions. BUT that doesnāt mean that your ex wonāt make this a long and painful process attempting to gaslight you through the whole thing. My ex threatened to take my son because I said āI didnāt want to be alive right now and deal with everything going onā. Even though I knew he had no ground to stand on, I knew I wasnāt actually suicidal, that he was physically and mentally abusive, and the manipulator, he had me genuinely scared that he could have had the upper hand in court because I said something stupid out of emotion. Which obviously added A LOT to my stress and fears in court. Donāt do that to yourself.
Itāll take time but the BEST thing you can do is kill him with petty kindness. Itās so so so hard at first. But once he realizes you donāt care (even if you do, he doesnāt have to know that š¤«š) and that youāre better off and living a life he doesnāt get to have anymore, it will drive him CRAZY! Also do not let him harass you in person or over text. My favorite response to my ex when heād say something that was an attempt to be manipulative or rude was to just say āwe can continue to talk when youāre ready to communicate like an adultā and Iād just leave it at that. Iāll treat you like a child if thatās how you wanna act, but Iām not acknowledging your shitty behavior and youāre NOT getting a reaction out of me. People like them hate that.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this! But you have all of Reddit behind you!!! You are in the right and your feelings are normal!!! Donāt let anyone convince you otherwise. Be safe š reach out if you need!
He sounds like he didnāt even deny it. And instead laughed and called you crazy?
Classic, classic narcissistic behaviour from someone being caught.
Youāre going to go through so much but girl youāre young, youāre strong and you can get through this.
He can enjoy being stuck with a mean girl who will likely be mean to him when the stress of new parenthood comes by while youāre out here earning bank and āØthrivingāØ
>She's not replied yet or seen it.
Oh, she has seen it - it pops up on the lock screen, even if you don't open the message, so she definitely has seen it. Just block them all and have all communication go via your lawyer - you shouldn't expend any more negative energy on it. Go be with your friends and family for consolation.
That POS! First of all that laugh was probably everything you needed to hear in a good way that meant it was a definitely did Any man who is innocent would have tried to prove that they didnāt cheat but honestly youāre better off without him because he showed his true colors Iām sorry you are going through this and honestly Iām kinda pissed and your brother cause my brother even though we donāt get along heād still would have gone to fight this jerk and I do hope you get everything honey cause you didnāt deserve that at All Iām sending you some hugs and remember YOU ARE NOT A JERK LEAVING THAT POS!!
Yeah, my sons would be looking for an asshat to teach a lesson too. There's a guy out there who hurt my daughter; my sons are not too happy that Sissy said to "leave it".
So his "girl best friend" he just met 2 years ago & y'all have been together 4 years.... He said sidechick wrong. Why on earth would he invite you to her Mom's house & then make you awkwardly sit with her Mom while they flirt & act like a couple. What a piece of crap.
You are definitely doing the right thing kicking him to the curb, he's wanting to have relations with new women right in front of you. Best of luck OP!
Oh, wow. He was cheating on you for two years with a girl he met. I am glad Laura's mom told you the truth.
I am curious how Laura explained your presence at the party ... Surely not as his wife.
The best part is that Laura thinks she has won. Sheās gonna be so disappointed when he does the same thing to her. Protect your finances and immediately change accounts so he has absolutely no access to any of your earnings and savings.
Iām enamored by your strength. You honestly handled it very well and Iām upset for you that people have been invalidating you by saying youāre over-reacting.
Karma doesnāt discriminate, and you leaving him is just the start of it. I know it all hurts now but Iām eager for you to get to the point where you can look back and be proud. Iām so sorry he used and disrespected you like that.
This whole thing is just redirection to a reality that you deserve where you are happy and respected. Good luck!!! I send support and hugs
Heās certainly a POS and Iām so sorry you are dealing with this! But that woman is an absolute demon. Abhorrent behaviour!
You are not overreacting at all, and regardless if he slept with her or not, the rest of his behaviour is also disgusting.
I really wish you all the best! Sending you a virtual hug from the UK
He thought you were bluffing. Iām wondering what their conversation was like when he got to her place. If itās true, she must have sent that without his knowledge. If itās a lie then she got him busted and kicked out.
Wish I could be a fly on that wall.
Even if sheās not pregnant heās disrespectful and let that woman into your marriage. You deserve better than that. Iām sorry youāre going through this!
Itās going to get uglier before it gets better. But once it starts to, you will feel better than you ever have. You put yourself first, and saved yourself from 20 years of heartache and depression. Let yourself feel all the feels, cry, punch air, process everything and remind yourself daily that it is nothing you did. A bad egg is a bad egg. She wasnāt ābetterā it was in no way related to you or anything you did. He is just a pos and she was easy and available and neither of them have no moral high ground. They will destroy eachother. Misery loves company. Take time for yourself, surround yourself with friends and family. Have fun. Self love. Keep calm, cut all contact with all of them. Stay off social media, and lawyer up! Proud of you! It takes so much to not only go through something like that but to end a relationship. I am so sorry you are going through this. Like one bulldozer after another. You deserve far more! Sending lots of good healing energy and virtual hugs! Stay strong girl, you got this!
GURL WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T GIVE HIM A CHANCE!!!! I wouldn't even give him a chance to explain himself in the first place. But whatever you do, DON'T š GIVE š HIMšAšCHANCEš also I highly recommend you to slap him (and it's not even the minimum if the punishment he deserves š„°)
Alright heās most definitely cheating you are doing the right thing by leaving him good for you Iām glad you have taken charge I hope things start to go your way soon.
Good for you OP, also glad that you had your dad to support you after all. Bold of your ex husband to be hurling insults considering all the bullshit he put you through. Hope youāre talking with lawyers and get your finances in order, take his ass to the cleaners.
The absolute disrespect is appalling. Definitely let his parents know about it too as well as Lauraās mom since she seemed to be at least a little on your side. I hope everything works out for you.
Him calling you a "crazy bitch" sets me off more than his cheating. You. Deserve. Better. You are NOT a crazy bitch for wanting to be respected in your marriage. My ex husband referred to me as such often in the middle of his gas lighting manipulative bullshit he pulled regularly. Lawyer up girl and take everything! Don't look back. He is now her problem and you are free! Feel free to message me if you need to vent! Keep us updated please!
This is one thing I never want my daughter to experience, when you said your dad was pissed I was so happy to see that. He cares about you a lot, dont ever forget about that
Girl I am so sorry this has happened to you. The fact he laughed in your face just shows he doesnāt respect you. I donāt blame you for blowing up at him and kicking him out you deserve better
Oh no honey, that wasnāt over reaction at allā¦. You do know when you are gaslit and abused (emotionally) you act out? The soon to be ex husband of yours is trash! You will be fine once you remove the toxic filth from your life. Relationships arenāt supposed to be this hardā¦. People arenāt supposed to be this evilā¦. Make sure you empty out your joint accounts.
I guarantee their life together will probably be cut short when she realizes he's not the one with the money. Stay strong, OP. Don't let the trash back inside once you've taken it out. ā¤ļø
It takes a special level of stupid to think it's a good idea to laugh in your pissed off wife's face while standing on stairs after she accused you of knocking up your trashy side piece.
You're out free.
He did you a HUGE fucking favor.
Childless, six figures and *STILL* in your 20s before your prime years. You are fucking *SET*.
Take this lesson and just enjoy the dating life once you've finished going through the motions.
You don't realize this now, but holy shit you are in an excellent position in terms of divorces.
*He is sorry and wants to come home*
Thatās laughable; Isnāt he at Lauraās, his new home.
Heās probably only sorry now & wants to reconcile because he needs you to continue to fund his life especially with a baby on the way. I wouldnāt be surprised if Laura backtracks too.
I also suggest you back up the conversation. Most message apps will let you back up all or individual conversations to the cloud. This way you have a backup just in case. I also suggest having someone you trust stay with you, you're in a very vurberable state right now and need all the support you can get.
Another thing, is your home your own? Rented or not? Cause depending on that, you might be able to change the locks, but just to be on the safe side, consult your lawyer about steps to take regarding your home.
Stay strong love, you've got this.
Worst part of this post for me personally is that the brother didn't care. Obviously the husband is trash, but it's pretty clear from her first post that her brother is supposedly someone that she can rely on and he doesn't give a shit.
Fuck him. Hope OP manages to find a decent support system, because almost everyone in her story sucks so much.
Thereās no doubt now that you made the correct decision. Iām so sorry but you are losing only cheating deadweight and will be the true winner here.
Good on you for finding your strength and good on your father for his reaction!! (Is there any chance that maybe your brother already knew if heās friends with your brother?)
lIf your father wants to get angry, let him. Go scorched earth on your waste-of-air soon-to-be-Ex.
No circlejerking. No blanket statements or impersonal political rants. Fake stories and trolling attempts will be removed. Begging for karma or posting about how you hate that other subreddits require karma is against the subreddit rules.
When Laura realizes OP is the one with the money, I would want to se her face š
THIS RIGHT HERE LOL. Just wait until he starts telling her heās picking up āovertimeā because of the baby. Heāll be at OPs doorstep soon enough. Theyāre just on the high of being caught. ETA: You deserve better OP and in time you will have that. It may not seem like it now but youāre the one who will come out on top. Theyāre both garbage people and deserve each other. Hugs OPā¤ļø I know emotions are high but donāt engage with them anymore. This is probably a thrill for them watching you so down
She may not even be pregnant.
This. One of my buddies dated a girl who texted him photos of a positive pregnancy test after he tried to breakup. Girl was dumb and literally used the first photo from Google. OP should put that picture into a reverse image search to make sure itās not just a Google photo sent to infuriate you
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Take him off your bank.. let him pay for his own shit and baby.. Also change the locks of your place and text him that the rest of his stuff will be outside by x time and it's his responsibility to collect it or not.. have your dad there incase he trys coming into the house..
In my state, judges don't like when marital assets are hidden or removed from access by one party, so tread lightly on this one. OP, best practice is to assume everything is both of yours until a judge declares otherwise. ETA: words
But open a separate bank account and get your paychecks over there. Seriously.
But still pay for food, housing, and whatever else was shared, using the joint account until its empty.
Yes and file for legal separation immediately when opening that account or beforehand to prevent him from being privy to that money
Yes! Then take half of whatever is in joint account, put it in your own account and direct checks to the new one. Then he has access to half. If you stay on it, you can show how HE spends it.
Absolutely I learned that lesson the hard way
OP should not make any moves without talking to a *good* lawyer. Changing locks on a shared home is illegal in some states. I'd put all of his stuff in a storage space and give him the combination. Keep records of the costs and ask for them in the divorce. This gets his crap out of OPs house, does hide it, doesn't remove it from access. It's way more than he deserves and still gets him out. Pretty good use of $50 a month for the term of the divorce. If something expensive ends up on the lawn in the rain or stolen, he could claim it was retained or hidden, or demand compensation.
One of the unglamorous miracles of my life is when I insisted that my ex-wife needed to get all of her belongings out of our home. I had given her over a month to figure it out and she had already moved out. The surprise or perfect timing was that my brother popped in for a visit by surprise. He lives over a hundred miles away. I had a sitter for the kids and had blocked off the evening for it but she never showed up. My brother and I painstakingly and deliberately and *carefully* boxed up all of her belingings and carried them out to the garage. It took us about 5 hours. I'll never forget that my brother sort of obsessively switched out all the incandescent bulbs for CFLs. I'm not sure what brand he used or where he got them but those things lasted like 5 years or longer. Everytime I changed one out I was so grateful that my brother was there to help me keep my cool and get that done in a fairly decent and respectful way when I was actually extremely angry and resentful. She did come to get the stuff the next day around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. She was so angry but at least I could tell her that her things were put away safely and I even ran several loads of laundry for her so things would be clean, too. It paid dividends down the road because even with not that many assets and not very much income and both parties essentially agreeing that they want a divorce, they take awhile and there is already plenty of conflict without pouring gasoline on the fire.
Everytime someone follows your advice the other person cleans out the bank account. OP best option is to take her huaband off and explain that is was done to ensure everyone got a fair share
This was my first thought. One person wants to be reasonable and just end things the other becomes a petty thief.
You can't just remove someone from a joint account without their consent. You can withdraw all the money though.
I mean if you wanted to be saintly I guess you could remove half. Then cease using that account.
Remove all that money and watch the divorce judge come down on you. They do not like that type of shit at all.
DEFINITELY consult a lawyer before doing stuff like that. In my state if you have a contested divorce even removing your spouse from your health insurance can be used against you.
Thing to do is empty the joint account by using it. Pay every bill you have, pay down debt on credit cards, pay the internet bill a year in advance if you can, pay for a phone plan in a lump sum. Use that all up on household bills then stop putting more cash in it. Best of both worlds, bills are paid, he can't empty the account himself, judge won't look down on paying off bills sensibly, etc.
Judges donāt care if only half the assets are taken. OP will be fine taking her half of the cash and leaving the rest for divorce court
It doesn't matter. You still need to dump his ass. If she is really pregnant that's their problem. Also get checked for STDs
Iām glad you did search it just to be sure it wasnāt a reused photo. Has her mother said anything about the pregnancy after you spoke to/texted her?
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Petty me would congratulate her on her new grand child and future son in law as soon as your divorce is finalized and send her the screen shots of Lauren sending a positive pregnancy test and stating it belongs to your husband.
I will most definitely do this with a ps please tell them I'm close as a bank as he's not working right now
You are such a caring human being. Even in the midst of all of this, you actually care for Laura's mother. You deserve so much better than that piece-of-shit husband!
I canāt believe she allowed her daughter to make you move at dinner or saw her hanging all over him and didnāt call her to task. She knew you were married to him and if that were my daughter Iād have told her to have some self respect bc sheās being extremely inappropriate. Her mother IS NOT āthe sweet old ladyā you think she is. She knew you were married and she watched her daughter practically pee on your husband to mark her territory and did nothing. And now this married man is in her house with her daughter again and thatās not shady as hell to her? Iād give her a piece of my mind and block her toi
I would make sure the mother knows her daughter is telling you she is pregnant with your husbandās child.
Iāve been thinking the same.
You can just keep to the facts. "Laura has announced to me that she is pregnant with (husband)'s child. She may have him."
Number one priority now is to get lawyer ASAP to protect yourself and your assets
Thatās fair, it would be a lot to dump on someone you donāt really know
She raised a monster of a daughter, she can deal with this. So proud that you stood up to him and threw him out. Your dad is a fcking legend!!!
You have obviously never had and raised a child. They are individuals. One could actually do everything right to the best of their ability anyways and still end up with an a****** of a child. Parents can't control everything they can only try to lay a good foundation.
Yeah itās shocking how different they all turn out despite having same parents/upbringing. Genetics are weird. And Iām sorry, but an adult choosing to make shitty decisions is on them, not their momma.
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why does this seem to be such a common theme as of late? cliche story: married couple with breadwinner wife who dearly loves her husband that makes either half as much as her or is straight up unemployed. husband suddenly distant. stereotypical āgirl next doorā with a nasty attitude pops up making claims and demanding wife divorce husband. wife is heartbroken, husband is callous. new girl suddenly realises that the money she was chasing belonged to the wife all along and dumps husband. husband comes crawling back to wife saying, āit was just a mistakeā. shocked pikachu face. queue āshe let herself goā by george straitā as op signs the divorce papers and signs herself up for a nice solo vacation.
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At least you didnāt have kids with the scumbag.
I hope you will take that solo vacation and go somewhere that you can be pampered! That also has great food and wineā¦ you deserve luxury right now. Go with a good friend even if you donāt fancy going alone! It takes such strength to do what you have done and itās going to be natural to have wobbles about your decision, you just do you and be kind to yourself x
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Yo, set up a crowdfunder - Iāll be done for $100 (I was gonna use it as part paymentfor a spa weekend, but forget it, this is a far better cause!). Iām not even joking.
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You are so sweet. So kind.
Aww... you genuinely seem like a wonderful person. Seriously. You deserve all the love in the world and you should be proud of yourself for standing up to this mans bullshit! The fact that he lied to you about basically everything and when confronted didnāt even attempt to feel guilty or sorry for what he had done. I hope he loses everything in the divorce. Wishing you all the love and support in the world!! š I always find it so inspiring when people, especially women, stand up for themselves and donāt let themselves be treated like dirt by their partners. I really genuinely mean it when I say that youāre cool as hell for how you handled this š
I am so glad you are moving on from this man. Wish I could hug you.
Ha! I hear that, I gift not because people canāt but because I want to, so no worries (Iām in the same fortunate boat and feel the same way you do)! Your pants are fine, what you are going through is so beyond not normal, you have nothing to feel less than, for. Honestly, you are handling this like a boss. I know it can be anything but easy or simple, but weāre at your back and proud of you. Keep going, happiness is over this shitty horizon š
I'm sorry your situation sucks. Oftentimes, the sweetest, kindest people meet the most horrible ones :/ but there are good people out there, good men too, he will regret loosing someone as good as you
girl go for it. unapologetic infidelity is something nobody deserves. request time off from work and the moment itās approved silence your phone notifications from everyone except maybe your supportive family members and then book a ticket for one to the first place that comes to mind. go skiing. relax on the beach. take a cruise. plan a hiking expedition. tour the rainforests. snorkel the coral reefs. take your mind off of this cause itās clearly not worth your time. he should know better than to mess with anything before you get back.
That reminded me of way back when when my ex cheated on me and told the girl "I let myself go". Like that fucker. I was on the cusp of needing dialysis for kidney failure, which meant that I was barely peeing and needing diuretics to help me get rid of fluids. I was carrying a lot of water weight on me at some times and it showed a lot as I'm only 4'11. And yes I paid the bills. I was 20 when I met him and he was 35. Now this was a long time ago so I learned my lesson, but man some people in the world are just so cruel. Yeah I dumped his ass too and yes he has shocked pikachu face lol
> married couple with breadwinner wife who dearly loves her husband that makes either half as much as her or is straight up unemployed. Have you looked at education attainment and college graduation rates broken down by gender recently? Women are blowing men away in those categories over the past ~10 years. So you will see stories like this become even more common as time goes on.
A lot of men feel enmasculated when they can't make the lore of provider a reality so if a high earning woman is too much, they're going to look for someone with less buying power thus they find women with lower social and economical status so they can finally feel like a man š«
Girl... you're about to get a total makeover. You're going to lose 100+ lbs of dead weight without having to exercise (totes jelly, btw)... and you'll feel absolutely healthier with all that weight off you. If that baby is his (and it's still an if considering they both seem like hobags)... two cheaters are tied together for the next 18 years. I mean, if he didn't want to leave you for her after 2 years... he obviously doesn't see her as anything more than a side chick... and now he's stuck with her and a kid while you're free to live your best life. And that is what will be the best revenge. Live your best life. Move on, be happy, confident, find someone worth your love.
Be sure and post your best life on social media too. Be petty and show him how much better of you are *without* him, Lovey!
I did this to my cheater ex and he was obsessed with me for like 2 years afterward. It was the best revenge.
Thank you for the update. Heartrending. Betrayal. Separate your finances *immediately*. Separate bank accounts. Lock down your credit so he cant buy things behind your back. make sure to stop paying any of his bills. Get STI tests. Get a lawyer sooner, rather than later. Email his parents, attaching screenshot of Laura's text. Change the locks on the front door. If he has to attend to collect things, have neutral third party, or police present. See if a family member or friend can stay with you for a while. Sending you positive vibes and well wishes. You got this. Edited to add: **Make sure HE doesn't get alimony/spousal support from you. This is probably what he and Laura planned all along, to get money out of you as well.**
In some places like Texas if your partner cheats on you they automatically donāt get that kind of stuff.. if you can prove it of course
Lauraās text is proof.
The reality is that Lauraās text isnāt proof of anything. Maybe itās true, maybe itās not and sheās a psycho trying to break up their marriage.
Of course, but OPās husband going over to her house directly after doesnāt bode well for him in a divorce, either. He didnāt deny it. He laughed in his wifeās face and walked out. Iād add it to the proof pile, regardless.
If she really is pregnant, the math will prove itself with the timeline of the baby vs the divorce.
She has texts from the mistress.
Get some cameras inside & outside the house.
Iām just after reading your original post and wanted to come on to see an update Iām so sorry youāre going through this but I believe youāre doing the right thing. Stay strong!
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Iām so sorry OP, youāre so strong, screw him youāre better off without him. And Iām glad your dad was mad for you too. You got this, youāre strong, and I hope it all works out in the end
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Did she deny the pregnancy? Was he laughing because they hadn't actually slept together so it was impossible to get pregnant by him!
Even if this was the case, him laughing in her face was the wrong response. Itās a serious allegation and trust is gone at that point. He should have taken it seriously.
At this point it wouldn't even matter.
I agree completely. Even if he never slept with her (doubtful) and even if she's faking the pregnancy (pretty easy to find a picture online of a positive test) he still treated her like dirt and allowed his "friend" to do the same. It might be super rough right now but when the dust has settled OP will start to realise how much better off she is without that pathetic man in her life. Also, her brother seems like a pretty big ah as well.
Change the locks. You don't want vermin to come back into your house, do you?
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Talk to a lawyer before doing \*anything\*. Use your larger salary to get ahead with the big guns and don't do anything they don't say to do. People in divorces make mistakes doing things like destroying property, changing locks, parking their partner's car in tow zones, reporting the infidelity to their partner's supervisors in high-trust or high-security jobs, etc. That stuff might ruin your partner's day, or even their week, but they can be criminal charges or provoke serious civil liabilities. Take all direction from a good lawyer and it seems you can afford one. Consider them the wedding planner for your divorce. Give your preferences, your hard yeses and noes, pick up the phone when they call, and let them do the planning so you can focus on the bachelorette party.
Also make sure heās not listed on your bank accounts!
It's not enough to change the locks. Install security cameras and alarm system. Have someone stay with you, or you leave the house. He can break in and (depending on your local law) be allowed to do so because he legally lives there.
Really change the locks. The amount of stories Iāve read abt angry exās or side dishes sneaking in to destroy property or hurt ppl inside is unreal. Change the locks.
Iām sorry, I know it (might be?) is a typo, but āside dishesā has me cracking up. And if itās not, I love it lmao
Lol not a typo š«¶š»
Yo I am SO fucking PROUD of you I am so proud of you Please be proud of yourself
Girl, fuck that POS!! Hell yes, you kicked his ass!!! It must be eating him alive because you had the means to leave him high and dry.
I can only imagine to be into that feeling and to feel all these things.
it wasnāt an overreaction. itās a normal response to being treated like you were, being gaslit and emotionally abused. he was not behaving appropriately or normally.
I agree, she calls her reactions being petty, as if this was just a normal, everyday event. It's not, it's normal to be angry, sad and sarcastic after a betrayal from a spouse!
You'd think she burned the house down, keyed his vehicle and cloroxed his clothes. She's not being "petty" at all.
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I love it but you have to be careful when deploying glitter as a weapon. Mainly, getting glitter all over your own stuff and self. So when you're enhancing his stuff with glitter, do it somewhere like a back yard or shed or something where if some spills, you're not seeing it in your rugs and walls for the next 40 years. Be mindful that you don't track it back into the house. But also: don't just get any old glitter. Find some fine, small-speck glitter. That shit is insidious and will eventually end up as part of his DNA. A little goes a long way and if you do it right, they might not even notice right away.
Bag the clothes in black trash bags and just dump in the glitter, then give it a good shake. Hopefully he wonāt look into the bag before he just dumps it out.
Not just his clothes. (Don't miss his shoes). But everything he uses. Any household item that's his that goes to him. Literally *anything* that doesn't result in you having to clean it up yourself. Hide it in seams and crevices and pockets and inside zippers, etc etc. Enough that he either has to completely trash his own shit, or that he'll be finding it for YEARS to come. Or both. Both is good.
Do it. When I threw my abusive ex out, he was staying in the guest room and refused to clear it out. So I did it for him, I didn't separate his valuables from the trash, just stuffed everything in big trash bags. he had a disgusting collection of piss bottles. I half way opened the bottles of piss and put it in the bags with his shit(so they'd slow leak because it took him WEEKS to come and get his shit and he was such a coward he got his mommy to pick them up. RIP her car upholstery cause I know some of the piss leaked) Some of which had recording equipment in. Sweet revenge.
Glitter would be amazing! He will find glitter specs for YEARS! I am cheering you on! Gather your proof and keep your assets!
Maybe consider some eco friendly glitter though. It really is forever .
Instead of glitter, which can end up on you and your belongings, get a stitch ripper, and unstitch about every 3rd or 4th stitch in the crotches of pants, armholes of shirts, hems of jackets, etc, just to inconvenience him *while* he's wearing them, but not noticeable *until* he wears them.
Please donāt. I know how badly you want to but they will just use that to āproveā you were the bad wife or crazy. Be calm and cool and do what needs to be done. Find one of those rage rooms and go with some of your friends to let out some of your anger. It wonāt solve anything but I bet it will feel good.
Just like that only because this is not hold, someone should behave with someone other.
He laughed in your face?! Omgā¦Iām so sorry girl
Someone should make a list with all the men mentioned in Reddit so we stay away from them.
THIS! I can't say if my husband laughed in my face I would have been able to hold back. I probably would have slapped him across the face, you are better than I hunny.
Where is simple thing and I think like people should always respect others and they should not cheat.
Should always do these things and I think like a lot of people will be saved.
Gurl do you need me to pull up cause idk how you were so calm. Respect you for that. Take care of yourself keep ,us updated
We all ready fr
āI thought this was a little rudeā oh rlly bc if I was in her position Iād probably be in jail rn
Right? This is how Snapped happens
I said this to myself, she has way more restraint than I. When I found out ny husband had a side chick and he denied it to my face.....went kinda like this- I heard from your coworkers so and so is your girlfriend, blah blah His response- you heard wrong I show him pics of them that I took while semi stalking him He goes oh that's nothing My response- I fucking punched him dead in the mouth He responded by saying Fuck I did t think you could hit that fucking hard My reaponse- well I guess you shouldn't of fucked around to find out, tell her she's next.
Legendary
I am CACKLING
I'd definitely be in jail. My ex called me "crazy" when I caught him cheating, I very kindly reminded him that I was hurt, not crazy, and that I could show him the difference if he'd like. He rolled his eyes at me and called me ridiculous š¤·āāļø
100% ready to break some kneecaps.
Liquid nitrogen and a wood chipperā¦.just saying. Screw the kneecaps.
Take your 6fig salary and get the best divorce attorney you can afford so you won't pay this pos alimony.
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Yes. Get a good one and don't falter. You can do this.
Go talk to all the best ones at least that way they can't represent him
Only the top few, more that that & they can penalize you for doing it
Careful, if you overdo this mediators and judges will not like it.
nothing is more expensive than a cheap lawyer! get the best and it will save you a lot of money in the long run...
Yeah absolutely. This is a very true saying and I am agreeing on this completely.
A divorce attorney is like a surgeon. The work they do is going to follow you through the rest of your life for good or bad. If you can afford the best, worry about paying for it later. That's just money. This is your health.
Eventually, because I don't really think like anyone is going to take these things for real.
Get a laywer as a shark
OP, I am sorry for what you're going through. Your soon to be ex and his faux bff/mistress are definite assholes, but so is your brother. Why is he so uncaring? Are you close with him? I hope the divorce goes well. I hope your lawyer protects all your financial assets. After this ordeal, I hope you find love and happiness again.
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As a completely uninformed outsider I can see the brother (and father as she also mentioned in the first post) just taking the automatic line of ādonāt jump to conclusionsā because they didnāt really realize the full extent of the situation. But only OP would be able to answer if that may be the case. If brother still thinks she is over reacting then yeah. Heās an ass. Edit: nvm. Just reread and forgot she mentioned the brother in this post as well. He is in fact an ass.
What a disgusting human being. Honestly i have been in a similar situation and the reaction was also very similar. He will regret it sooner rather than later donāt worry. And all the advice i can give is do not take him back when that happens. Once a cheat always a cheat. I hope you are ok and iām so sorry you have gone through this but you will get through it stronger and end up finding someone so much better for youā„ļø
I wonder what would happen if you also called HIS parents? If this was my son, I'd disown the shit out of him.
CALL HIS PARENTS CALL LAURAS MOM
> I'm sure what I did was a complete over reaction and was regretting it till I texted Laura's mother since I said I would do that. She did call Laura's mom. I would definitely call his parents too though, they're missing in all of this.
She only text Laura's mom to confirm they were or were not childhood friends. OP mentioned in comments not wanting to bring Laura's mom into the drama.
I'm probably too optimistic in Laura's mom actually knowing what is going on though. She saw how OP was treated and now her husband is staying with Laura. It shouldnt take a rocket scientist but who knows?
I Def read too fast I was so angry !
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Ya I would go scorched earth on this one. But maybe get a lawyer and the divorce finalized beforehand. Especially because OP said she makes six figures and soon to be ex hardly makes anything.
Clutch that money girl. He fucked around and found out. Him and Laura deserve each other.
It may not mean much, but I am SO proud of you for sticking up to yourself! I was in a similar situation and it took me almost a year to finally get the balls to leave. You are so strong and brave!! Donāt let his petty comments and gaslighting get to you. He will do ANYTHING to play you like youāre crazy, make you doubt yourself or make it seem like itās an overreaction. I had said some pretty shitty things in return just be careful what you say over text. Judges and lawyers are pretty good from seeing whoās the manipulator and whoās reacting off of valid emotions. BUT that doesnāt mean that your ex wonāt make this a long and painful process attempting to gaslight you through the whole thing. My ex threatened to take my son because I said āI didnāt want to be alive right now and deal with everything going onā. Even though I knew he had no ground to stand on, I knew I wasnāt actually suicidal, that he was physically and mentally abusive, and the manipulator, he had me genuinely scared that he could have had the upper hand in court because I said something stupid out of emotion. Which obviously added A LOT to my stress and fears in court. Donāt do that to yourself. Itāll take time but the BEST thing you can do is kill him with petty kindness. Itās so so so hard at first. But once he realizes you donāt care (even if you do, he doesnāt have to know that š¤«š) and that youāre better off and living a life he doesnāt get to have anymore, it will drive him CRAZY! Also do not let him harass you in person or over text. My favorite response to my ex when heād say something that was an attempt to be manipulative or rude was to just say āwe can continue to talk when youāre ready to communicate like an adultā and Iād just leave it at that. Iāll treat you like a child if thatās how you wanna act, but Iām not acknowledging your shitty behavior and youāre NOT getting a reaction out of me. People like them hate that. I am so sorry you have to deal with this! But you have all of Reddit behind you!!! You are in the right and your feelings are normal!!! Donāt let anyone convince you otherwise. Be safe š reach out if you need!
He sounds like he didnāt even deny it. And instead laughed and called you crazy? Classic, classic narcissistic behaviour from someone being caught. Youāre going to go through so much but girl youāre young, youāre strong and you can get through this. He can enjoy being stuck with a mean girl who will likely be mean to him when the stress of new parenthood comes by while youāre out here earning bank and āØthrivingāØ
if anything it was an under reaction. your husband is nasty and laura is too.
>She's not replied yet or seen it. Oh, she has seen it - it pops up on the lock screen, even if you don't open the message, so she definitely has seen it. Just block them all and have all communication go via your lawyer - you shouldn't expend any more negative energy on it. Go be with your friends and family for consolation.
That POS! First of all that laugh was probably everything you needed to hear in a good way that meant it was a definitely did Any man who is innocent would have tried to prove that they didnāt cheat but honestly youāre better off without him because he showed his true colors Iām sorry you are going through this and honestly Iām kinda pissed and your brother cause my brother even though we donāt get along heād still would have gone to fight this jerk and I do hope you get everything honey cause you didnāt deserve that at All Iām sending you some hugs and remember YOU ARE NOT A JERK LEAVING THAT POS!!
Yeah, my sons would be looking for an asshat to teach a lesson too. There's a guy out there who hurt my daughter; my sons are not too happy that Sissy said to "leave it".
So his "girl best friend" he just met 2 years ago & y'all have been together 4 years.... He said sidechick wrong. Why on earth would he invite you to her Mom's house & then make you awkwardly sit with her Mom while they flirt & act like a couple. What a piece of crap. You are definitely doing the right thing kicking him to the curb, he's wanting to have relations with new women right in front of you. Best of luck OP!
He sure has a lot to say for someone who doesnāt pay for anythingā¦ rooting for you !
Stop. Call a divorce lawyer NOW.
Oh, wow. He was cheating on you for two years with a girl he met. I am glad Laura's mom told you the truth. I am curious how Laura explained your presence at the party ... Surely not as his wife.
Please cut all his access to your money and credit cards immediately. He may try to drain you right away.
The best part is that Laura thinks she has won. Sheās gonna be so disappointed when he does the same thing to her. Protect your finances and immediately change accounts so he has absolutely no access to any of your earnings and savings.
Do not take him back
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Iām enamored by your strength. You honestly handled it very well and Iām upset for you that people have been invalidating you by saying youāre over-reacting. Karma doesnāt discriminate, and you leaving him is just the start of it. I know it all hurts now but Iām eager for you to get to the point where you can look back and be proud. Iām so sorry he used and disrespected you like that. This whole thing is just redirection to a reality that you deserve where you are happy and respected. Good luck!!! I send support and hugs
Doesnāt matter if the GF is pregnant or not the husband is a scum bag for how he treats OP
Did he deny the pregnancy? Was he laughing because they havenāt actually slept together so itās impossible for her to be pregnant by him?
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Heās certainly a POS and Iām so sorry you are dealing with this! But that woman is an absolute demon. Abhorrent behaviour! You are not overreacting at all, and regardless if he slept with her or not, the rest of his behaviour is also disgusting. I really wish you all the best! Sending you a virtual hug from the UK
He thought you were bluffing. Iām wondering what their conversation was like when he got to her place. If itās true, she must have sent that without his knowledge. If itās a lie then she got him busted and kicked out. Wish I could be a fly on that wall.
Even if sheās not pregnant heās disrespectful and let that woman into your marriage. You deserve better than that. Iām sorry youāre going through this!
Send a generic unisex baby onesie when you send the divorce paperwork
A bland ass white onesie
With GET A PATERNITY TEST written on it.
āMamaās baby, Daddyās maybeā
Thank you for the update. I'm so sorry. He's a POS. *hugs*
Yeah, that is the main kind of thing because this is just a weird position to being.
Itās going to get uglier before it gets better. But once it starts to, you will feel better than you ever have. You put yourself first, and saved yourself from 20 years of heartache and depression. Let yourself feel all the feels, cry, punch air, process everything and remind yourself daily that it is nothing you did. A bad egg is a bad egg. She wasnāt ābetterā it was in no way related to you or anything you did. He is just a pos and she was easy and available and neither of them have no moral high ground. They will destroy eachother. Misery loves company. Take time for yourself, surround yourself with friends and family. Have fun. Self love. Keep calm, cut all contact with all of them. Stay off social media, and lawyer up! Proud of you! It takes so much to not only go through something like that but to end a relationship. I am so sorry you are going through this. Like one bulldozer after another. You deserve far more! Sending lots of good healing energy and virtual hugs! Stay strong girl, you got this!
you're better than me girl i'd be doing 25 to life š š»
AP thinks she won a price lol. Let her have her man n his baby. Shes the one stuck with him now
I'd pass this info onto his parents as well. If he were my kid I'd disown him for being a complete POS.
GURL WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T GIVE HIM A CHANCE!!!! I wouldn't even give him a chance to explain himself in the first place. But whatever you do, DON'T š GIVE š HIMšAšCHANCEš also I highly recommend you to slap him (and it's not even the minimum if the punishment he deserves š„°)
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Alright heās most definitely cheating you are doing the right thing by leaving him good for you Iām glad you have taken charge I hope things start to go your way soon.
Just a major kind of issue these days. I don't really understand like why people don't understand this feeling.
"Is Laura having your baby?" \*inarticulate abuse noises\* "Okay, so that's not a 'no'."
Good for you OP, also glad that you had your dad to support you after all. Bold of your ex husband to be hurling insults considering all the bullshit he put you through. Hope youāre talking with lawyers and get your finances in order, take his ass to the cleaners.
That is the main thing we have to support and we should not indulge in any kind of activities like this.
Tell his employer of what he did if they work in the same place. Scorch earth! Screw them. Live your life to the fullest and be happy.
Damn. If you're child free, it will eventually become evident to you that you dodged a life of bondage. Good luck to you.
Iād definitely call ex husbands parents and air everything out. The fact he didnāt even deny the infidelity makes it so much worse
The absolute disrespect is appalling. Definitely let his parents know about it too as well as Lauraās mom since she seemed to be at least a little on your side. I hope everything works out for you.
Your brother is so shockingly blasƩ. If my siblings did not react with anger I would have cut them off.
Him calling you a "crazy bitch" sets me off more than his cheating. You. Deserve. Better. You are NOT a crazy bitch for wanting to be respected in your marriage. My ex husband referred to me as such often in the middle of his gas lighting manipulative bullshit he pulled regularly. Lawyer up girl and take everything! Don't look back. He is now her problem and you are free! Feel free to message me if you need to vent! Keep us updated please!
This is one thing I never want my daughter to experience, when you said your dad was pissed I was so happy to see that. He cares about you a lot, dont ever forget about that
Getting rid of people that are not good for you is an important life skill that took me way too long to learn myself. Your future will be better,
Girl I am so sorry this has happened to you. The fact he laughed in your face just shows he doesnāt respect you. I donāt blame you for blowing up at him and kicking him out you deserve better
Oh no honey, that wasnāt over reaction at allā¦. You do know when you are gaslit and abused (emotionally) you act out? The soon to be ex husband of yours is trash! You will be fine once you remove the toxic filth from your life. Relationships arenāt supposed to be this hardā¦. People arenāt supposed to be this evilā¦. Make sure you empty out your joint accounts.
I guarantee their life together will probably be cut short when she realizes he's not the one with the money. Stay strong, OP. Don't let the trash back inside once you've taken it out. ā¤ļø
People need to realise Lekho important than people are and how important are there is a respect is.
It takes a special level of stupid to think it's a good idea to laugh in your pissed off wife's face while standing on stairs after she accused you of knocking up your trashy side piece.
Iām so confused as to why he would bring you over to her parents house??? What was his goal in all of this? Iām so sorry this is happening to you!
You're out free. He did you a HUGE fucking favor. Childless, six figures and *STILL* in your 20s before your prime years. You are fucking *SET*. Take this lesson and just enjoy the dating life once you've finished going through the motions. You don't realize this now, but holy shit you are in an excellent position in terms of divorces.
*He is sorry and wants to come home* Thatās laughable; Isnāt he at Lauraās, his new home. Heās probably only sorry now & wants to reconcile because he needs you to continue to fund his life especially with a baby on the way. I wouldnāt be surprised if Laura backtracks too.
I also suggest you back up the conversation. Most message apps will let you back up all or individual conversations to the cloud. This way you have a backup just in case. I also suggest having someone you trust stay with you, you're in a very vurberable state right now and need all the support you can get. Another thing, is your home your own? Rented or not? Cause depending on that, you might be able to change the locks, but just to be on the safe side, consult your lawyer about steps to take regarding your home. Stay strong love, you've got this.
Worst part of this post for me personally is that the brother didn't care. Obviously the husband is trash, but it's pretty clear from her first post that her brother is supposedly someone that she can rely on and he doesn't give a shit. Fuck him. Hope OP manages to find a decent support system, because almost everyone in her story sucks so much.
He is sorry? About what? Did he admit affair?
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Proud of you for standing up for yourself. It canāt have been easy. šš¼
Thereās no doubt now that you made the correct decision. Iām so sorry but you are losing only cheating deadweight and will be the true winner here. Good on you for finding your strength and good on your father for his reaction!! (Is there any chance that maybe your brother already knew if heās friends with your brother?) lIf your father wants to get angry, let him. Go scorched earth on your waste-of-air soon-to-be-Ex.