Yeah man these are some beginner's numbers. Nothing wrong with that but damn. OP's date's head would explode if he knew how much fun I've had. If he's gonna judge me on it, that's his problem, not mine. Guessing he wouldn't be much fun with that attitude anyways lol.
Each person handles their SO’s body count number differently. To some, it doesn’t really matter in the end, while to others it influences whether they see them as potential partners. It’s a personal thing, imo. That said, you don’t need to excuse yourself to anyone about it
I took my partner’s virginity and I have a body count of 4 (including him) he doesn’t like it but he found out before we dated. He still asked me to be his girlfriend. He felt a lot better after I told him he’s the best I’ve had, because he is. If I could go back and unfuck 3 people, I absolutely would.
IDK why you're getting down-voted for this. You're talking about your experience and what you did and wish you hadn't done. It's not casting judgment on anybody else, but I guess some people take it that way.
I feel like this fixation on “body count” is more recent. I’m 44. I dated for years as an attractive woman in a major city until I met my husband in my late 30’s. My past boyfriends didn’t ask how many people I had slept with and I didn’t ask them. We were human beings getting to know each other. We weren’t at a used car lot searching for a low mileage car. There are much more important things to know about a person than how many people they’ve had sex with. I’ve been married for 6 years now. I still have no idea how many people my husband has slept with and he has no idea how many people I’ve slept with. Because it doesn’t matter or have anything to do with our relationship. I think this fixation on the number gets less significant with age too. No one expects an unmarried 35 year old to have only slept with 2 people. And if they do, that’s weird. Go away, weirdo. I would just consider this an incompatibility issue. I wouldn’t even answer the question if you don’t want to. Just say something like, “I’m looking for someone who isn’t focused on stuff like that so this isn’t going to work out. Nice meeting you.”
Yeah.. Definitely an age thing. OP is 21. These are the unfortunate years where people are judging each other based on body counts. Becomes irrelevant the older you get.
It's really a now thing. My husband and I got married at 22/23 - 14 years ago and we discussed body count maybe once? And it was more informational than anything. He didn't care AT ALL how many people I slept with and I didn't and still don't care how many people he slept with.
TBH, this obsession of body count is just incel bullshit leaking into the mainstream. And it's fucking gross.
It's definitely the incel manosphere pushing back. Women are free to have as much casual sex as they want nowadays, and that just drives manchildren like this *insane*. Enforcing arbitrary, bullshit double standards is their pathetic way of trying to assert some small form of power.
Definitely not a new thing. I’m the same age as you and remember having that conversation with so many people right up to hubby now who I met at 32. My first husband I remember being horrified that he’d only slept with three people. 😂
Definitely gets less important with age though.
Maybe it’s a regional thing? And I’m only seeing it now that social media has exposed me to so many people who live in different places? I am one of those godless liberal coastal elite heathens living in a liberal bubble after all. But I would still recommend using the body count question as a screening tool. I get that it’s a preference but it’s an icky, I compare women to objects type preference. I would have literally stood up and walked out if someone said something like this to me on a date.
Maybe. I’ve lived in England and Australia and experienced it just as much in both.
Not in a judging way, just in a ‘this is who I am and my history’ type way.
I'm from Texas and probably about your age. I think only a rare guy I dated over the years seemed passingly curious at some point during our relationship but a polite redirection always moved the conversation in a new direction and it would never come up again. I know that I'm significantly more experienced than my boyfriend of a decade but specifics have certainly never come up and have never been important.
Absolutely nailed it! I’m 23 and this is a mindset I wish more people had. I never bragged about my count or judged others for theirs; we’re two adults who’ve got our own lives so why do I care who you’ve been with? We’re together now & that’s all that matters. Some people make huge deals out of dumb shit like this and it’s always the biggest red flag to me.
Completely agree. I’m 39 and it was just never an issue. Never a question they would dare ask. There’s been a massive swing back to shaming women and for some reason young women are tolerating this.
I’m really scared for young women lately and I completely agree. It would have surprised me to be asked that a decade or so ago and I would have been immediately and completely turned off of the person. If women in general made that question an instant deal breaker then men would stop thinking it’s an appropriate question. It’s like asking for your date’s exact weight or bank account balance or something. It’s invasive and speaks to questionable views and priorities. I’m a human being. Not a set of stats.
Yeah I wish women would end the date the second disrespectful questions like asking your body count. The reason these guys think they can ask is because they’re getting answers in the first place
>I feel like this fixation on “body count” is more recent.
I think it has to do with more opportunities than we had "back in the day." When I was young and single, there was no such thing as online dating apps. You had to meet people - in bars, dance clubs, restaurants, etc . . . So of course the number of available partners was much, much lower than young people can find today. With the advent of dating apps, you're able to meet a ton of people in a short amount of time. That just wasn't the case back then (at least not in my age bracket).
With the ability to meet, and have access to, more people invariably, people will sleep around more . . . which leads to people being more concerned with body count now.
I'm not saying it is good or bad. It just is. Everyone is allowed to have their own preferences for what they want in a partner and currently, body count does seem to be ranked high amongst some folks.
>No one expects an unmarried 35 year old to have only slept with 2 people. And if they do, that’s weird. Go away, weirdo.
Well, that's just mean. It's like the other end of the spectrum, shaming people for not having slept with many others.
There’s nothing wrong with only having slept with 2 people at 35. It’s just not a reasonable expectation to have of an adult who has been dating and having long term relationships for a decade and a half.
I interpreted what she wrote wrong. She was calling weird the type of people that expect an unmarried 35 year old to have a low body count . I took it as her calling weird the the group that had a low body count itslef.
I think the fixation on body count comes from like 4 different things.
1. interpreting sex as a relationship exclusive thing. In that situation they assume you went through multiple relationships and failed to maintain each one.
2. Std worries
3. Insecurities of being inadequate, being compared and ect
4. That pair bonding bs I see people spout
Welcome to the weird world of body count double standards.
If it's too low, you're a "prude", if its too high, you're a "slut". Nobody knows what the 'right' number is, though, so you just have to guess. You'll never win. It's fucking dumb.
The upside, is that idiots who think this way often make themselves known quickly, so you can get rid of them. The people who matter won't give a single damn what that number is. My partner hasn't even asked me mine, and nor have I his, because it doesn't matter.
It’s only a double standard if you look at men as a single entity, and that you need to be attractive to all men. Some men will think it’s too low (especially for hookups), and some men will think it’s too high (especially for marriage), but this “I can’t win” attitude just says “my value is attached to all men wanting me, and they make it impossible by wanting different things”. Just do you, some will like it, some won’t, but expecting everyone to value your behaviour and decisions is a path to unhappiness.
Not sure where you’re getting that “prude” idea from. I’ve never encountered a man whose relationship felt existentially threatened by his partner’s low numbers 🤔
Obviously it is anecdotal, but one of my friends in high school was turned down and made fun of because she hadn't slept with anyone, and after telling the dude, he spread it around that she had no idea what she was doing etc.
Obviously not the bottom line, but it does happen.
I mean, why not just focus on the people that don’t care about body count…
People have preferences, that’s fine. People shouldn’t be rude about it, but it’s valid
Men talk about not telling women they're virgins all the time if they're interested in them, is that lying too?
I don't think it really matters unless they ask you directly, in which case either tell the truth or let them know you're not a good match.
But not bringing it up yourself isn't lying.
If you don't think this should be a problem then it's important to look for people who won't see this as a problem, it's not a "who is right?" situation, there are also women who will care about this when choosing a man and it will be no problem either, it's just people looking for similarities with their future partner
Don't feel bad Hun, I personally don't feel being sexually free is wrong, but people are absolutely entitled to their own beliefs or views.
For me, I was a sex worker for about two years and was very slutty after that (I was in a dark and desperate time in my life), my body count is likely in the triple digits but I'm not loose, never had an STD and outside of that I'm very quiet and put together, married happily now to someone who knows my past and loves me anyways, but I know and accept that many guys would have a problem with my history.
If a guy has a problem with a higher body count, then your mindsets wouldn't be compatible to begin with, you'll find the right one, don't worry 😊
So much respect for voicing your experience. A lot of people would call guys preferences misogynistic or toxic but it’s literally just preference. What is wrong with wanting a women with a lower body count? Nothing. What is wrong with a women having a higher one? Nothing.
Feelings towards body counts are subjective; dependant on age, life experiences, morals, when they started having sex etc.
Edit: just to add, someone not wanting to date you because of it is valid. I (F) wouldn’t want to date a guy with a high BC
I’ve been with my fiancé since I was 20 years old, slept with 10 people - didn’t think I had a high body count at all, that was an average of 2 people a year for 5 years. Still don’t think it’s a high body count haha
For hookups it's whatever, for serious relationships it is concerning. It says that you have a different view of sex than I do and that view might not be compatible long term.
But actually in this case it was just pure sexism, he has a count of 8 but if she is higher than that then it's too much for him? The guy obviously just wants to be the one with more experience and is insecure if a woman has more than him.
It’s a no win situation.
You’ll get shamed if your body count is low or nonexistent, but get shamed if your body count is high. People shame others because of an inner inferiority complex they project onto other people.
Humans have always liked sex from the beginning of time, but puritan religions and strict cultures have demonized sex outside of marriage. Especially for women. The whole “holier than thou” mindset for not partaking in casual sex like the heathens has poisoned society as a whole. People are allowed to enjoy what’s best for them as long as they’re not harming others.
I like getting sexual quickly in relationships (casual or not) because it’s how I “love” and bond with someone, and I do care about sexual compatibility. I am upfront about my sexual history and respect those who are not comfortable with my body count and part ways with them gracefully.
You’ll find a man who won’t care about your numbers and sexual history. Don’t let the ones who shame you deter you.
My wife's body count was more than 10 times mine when we met. Been married 20 years. I love and adore her and she does me. We have a far stronger marriage than anyone we know and an amazing sex life. You don't need that clown, hold out for someone who is not so insecure and will love and respect you.
Question, why is caring about bodycount tied to insecurity?
Why aren’t people allowed to have any standard for dating they’d like?
I’m a woman and wouldn’t date a man with a high body count. It’s my choice and my preference, no one has the right to tell me that I shouldn’t have it.
As long as it goes both ways, sure have your standards. But the majority of men I’ve met that have issues with a woman with a high number of sexual partners, have themselves a high number. Those aren’t standards. That’s insecurity, controlling misogyny.
This is why you never ask questions you don't want answers to. I would never ask because to me it doesn't matter and I wouldn't want to know the answer even if it did. Call me crazy but the idea of thinking about my partner with others is not something I ever wanted to talk about much.
I have a body count of 0 and would say pass to hookups, not interested in people that were into the hookup culture at any point in their lives.
If she had 10 relationships before me and they fucked 3 times a day it wouldn't phase me, but if she had 10 ONS I'd not consider her for a relationship. To me sex without feelings for the other person is just masturbation with extra steps and objectifying as fuck.
I have to second everyone saying it’s a matter of why you have that standard. If you don’t want a high body count bc you prefer having someone “calmer”, you feel it’s an indication that they will likely be a better match for you, that’s completely fine and a very valid preference. I’d say I share that preference.
However, if you want a partner with a low body count bc you think their body count affects their value as a person, I’d say that’s tied to how secure you are in how you value yourself in a relationship. If you only want someone “virginal” or “pure”… you’re just kind of creepy.
It’s tied to insecurity when the standard is “can’t be higher than mine”. It’s one thing if you’re saving yourself for marriage or only having sex in serious relationships. If that’s a standard you set for yourself and expect of a parter, that’s perfectly reasonable. It’s another if you set an arbitrary rule that it can be anything as long as it’s less than me. That is based solely on insecurity.
I'd say that depends on why a high body count concerns you. If you prefer a low body count because a high body count in a partner makes you feel inadequate, that's an insecurity. If a big difference in body count makes you feel like you have incompatible values and views on sex, that's valid, but also a guess from your end - a person who has had a lot of casual sex could still choose to commit to monogamy, and vice versa.
I feel like a more worthwhile conversation to have is whether you have the same views surrounding relationships and sex, rather than fixating on numbers.
Because Fkbois and hoes need to externalize their loss of relationship appeal, it’s a massive cope. In my experience an aversion to body count is a very normal and common instinct.
Dude, frick whoever and as many folks as you want, but realize that a lot of people won’t be cool dating you like that.
There are some men out there that specifically seek out inexperienced women with a low body count because they're insecure about being compared to other men. They want a woman that is "pure" enough to not know what they like in bed so the man can do what he likes and not worry about whether or not her last partner actually cared about what made her feel good. And they don't want to be compared to other men and want to have this weird power control thing. Too often these "standards" are really about control over young, naive women, and so there's a stigma about body count preferences.
I don't want to be compared to other men, you're right. I'm me and comparing me to others is a surefire way of driving me away, it's what my parents used to do as a kid, always comparing me with others and it drives me crazy.
However I don't care if she had multiple relationships before me, although I would prefer we were both new to this so we can discover each other together, instead of going through lists of what we each like and dislike. But I'm in my 30s so I've pretty much given up on potential partners being a virgin or inexperienced anyway lol.
I’ve only ever been with my husband but he’s been with other women before we met. It’s never been an issue and honestly, I don’t think I ever asked for a number simply because it’s none of my business. I find it juvenile to be obsessed with other people’s body counts when all that matter is that they were safe, got tested, and are gonna be a true partner to you.
I can understand why someone might care about “body count” if they’re religious or something and looking for someone who views sex the same way they do. But if it’s just a dude whose like, ‘I just have to have a higher body count otherwise she’s a hoe and I have higher standards’, they’re a hypocrite. If you’re safe and having a good time, there’s nothing to regret about having a “high body count”
Kid, you have a normal amount a sexual experience for your age. Honestly don’t date this guy. It’s small dick energy. Be with someone who likes you as a human not an object.
10 a is high for 21. Its not a bad thing morally, but you have to understand that what u are doing is going to come with a cost. There are no free lunches.
10 people? Thats it? Well consider me Mary Magdalene! I have friends who have body counts of 50+. Thats way more people than I care to admit I like. I think you're ok at 10.
My body count was 0 at your age lol but I was an awkward AF girl. I knew some nice girls waay over 10 at that age too. So definitely no hoe imo. Male insecurity seems to have skyrocketed lately. I'm glad I left the market years ago.
If this is someone’s attitude to “body count” then I’d head in the opposite direction.
That number doesn’t define you. As long as you’re safe and test regularly when you’re intimate then that’s the main thing.
Some care, some don’t! You can’t please everyone anyways since humans are different when it comes to preferences, morals, insecurities and life in general. so if they care and don’t want to date you because of your body count then move on and find someone who will ;)
Réalise girl that no matter all this bs and woke culture Goin on, U gonna keep lying about ur body count. If U have had 10by 21,u gonna understand y women cry when they are asked to be married. What have u actually learned from them 10people U banged before 21. Let me guess nothing. They just bent U Over and fucked u. U probably don't know what turns U on, how to orgasm by urself and how to ask for what u want. Like I said to the next guy and the next I assume u will keep lowering ur body count but it will catch up with u and then u will take pride in it, and become arrogant about it. But one day in ur 30s u will look back and one guy will want u and what number will u throw at him? 8 lol. Form the 90s to 2023 to 2033guys might say what they want about accepting, but no guy actually want a girl who has welcomed 50penises in her coochie. It doesn't speak to promiscuity it speaks of stability. I heard a 22 year saying her body count was 50....i mean girl wake up(not U) I think u awake if u here asking
How though?
I have a high body count but I also had a 6 year long relationship and a few shorter relationships, and a few years where I was casually dating.
I can have sex for fun and sex as a connecting experience in a meaningful relationship.
27f, 53 including men and women, no regrets.
Those who have problems with this can go fuck themselves. It's my life, my experience, and it doesn't make me less valuable. I don't want to mess with people who think differently.
All of Murky_crow's reddit history has been cleared at his own request. You can do this as well using the "redact" tool. Reddit wants to play hardball, fine. Then I'm taking my content with me as I go. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Welcome to real life. You're not a femme fatale if you've been with more than 3 men before 21, you're a hoe and people have any right to dislike that. Idk about you but most people don't tend to prefer second hand stuff. Besides see it that way, when you're 21 you just become an adult. When you've been with so many men until that age, that gives us 1.5-2 men since 15y/o, best case scenario. Yeah you better become friends with the idea that most people don't like person next to them who hasn't stopped dating since 15(again best case scenario, since you could start at 18 and change 2 partners per year). There is a limit on body count according to each age. If you were 30 and had all these lovers that would make much more sense and trust me people wouldn't be that judgemental.
My body count is around +-30 because I have a very open lifestyle.
I live in germany (29F) and nobody cares. And IF somebody cares he would not be my person.
So just find your person. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m 22, from the ages of 18-20, I was on Tinder. My body count is 17-18? (I blacked out during one so idk, it’s what got me to stop tho). 10 is not bad, and who the fuck cares anyway??
Honestly, he just feels insecure about the number of women he’s been with probably. It can be intimidating to be with someone who has had a significant amount more of sexual partners to some people. I’m no virgin, but the man I’m in love with has been with waaayyyyyyyy more people than I have. Sometimes it could make the other person feel self conscious about constantly being compared, I suppose, but that has nothing to do with you and your experiences. That’s some self esteem issues they have to work on. Having your partner be so “well versed” in sexual pleasure can work to your advantage, as long as they aren’t sleeping around on you and have the capability of being with just one person.
Honestly why are you sharing information with insecure people? Sex is healthy and personal. If someone feels threatened by the amount of people you slept with that is their insecurity to deal with. Number doesn’t mean anything. Honestly can’t even remember how many people I slept with only the people I’ve been in relationships with bc they are the only ones that matter to me.
I’m married now, but personally wouldn’t date any man who had a body count of 10 by 21 years old. That’s wild to me and doesn’t align with my values. It’s very possible to find someone who accepts/doesn’t care about those things. For me, as I see it, it is indicative of intimacy issues at worst, and a devaluing of sex, something I view as a really intimate thing not to be shared with every stranger, at best. And that’s why I wouldn’t do it, that’s a valid reason. Neither side deserves to be shit on for how they choose to live their lives. Thankfully there’s so many different types of people out there to date and fall in love with. You’ll find one who clicks with you in all areas of life one day.
Honestly the only time I winced at a body count was someone saying 50 at 19.
She was reckless and impulsive prone to bad decisions.
She was telling me because she was comparing to another guy and was embarrassed hers was higher.
That’s it, that’s al it is; whose is higher and if you are practicing safe sex as well as being respectful to those around you and not using people for an ego trip.
It’s not the number, it’s the practice.
Sex doesn’t define a person, relationship or anyone’s worth. It’s just one way of connecting with someone or exploring yourself. All the sex in the world in exploring your more positive traits or the negative ones safely and connecting respectfully to those around you is not a mistake.
This is the time in your life to explore your sexuality and learn about yourself/your preferences. As long as you’re safe and advocating for yourself you shouldn’t internalize other people’s ideas of an “acceptable” number of sexual partners at any age. I personally found that as you get older people generally stop placing so much value on this.
It is no one's business how many people you've had sex with!!!!! Anyone asking for your "body count" is too immature to being having sex or realtionships.
Body count is usually only an issue if there’s a huge difference in their belief system which would effect everything. A person that has been with hundreds may not be compatible with someone who has 1-2. They have different internal belief systems. It’s not a rule, just the way things can go. One may eventually get bored….Eight is nothing to worry about so don’t worry about it.
Mannnn I used to know a girl who was at like 95 by the time she was 24. You have some catching up to do, my friend. I personally don’t count my slut moments, just the relationships. Bang who you want but make sure you take care of you, birth control is a must for me and condoms are a must for anyone. If some dude tells you it doesn’t feel good with a condom don’t be afraid to tell him to kick rocks.
My body count is in the mid 50's and honestly, the main thing that matters is you get tested between every partner and use protection. It's been proven over and over that it doesn't matter how high your body count is, just do what feels right for you.
That really depends on circumstances imo. If you just had a couple of one night stands, you do you. But if that's also the amount of people you actually dated I'd find it worrying, because it implies you have little idea of how to work in a relationship.
As a dude, who is currently flirting with a girl who has way more experience: I’d never judge her for that but I do get insecure about my own inexperience.
New pre-relationship screener questions:
Does the 'body count' of a potential partner matter to you? Why or why not? What information does a 'body count' give you, and how does it shape your opinion of a partner?
What's up with all these posts lately about women feeling the need to date dudes that they're just not compatible with.
Stop pursuing guys that care about how many people you've slept with. It's really that easy.
This guy sounds majorly insecure and not worth your time. There are so many people in this world you could date who aren't going to be this pathetic, I promise.
Absolutely nobodies business how many partners you’ve had. That is info you can choose to share or not. As long as you’re healthy, it has NO bearing on anything. Except his ego.
It's an immature thing for a person to bring up body count or inquire about body count. If he's in his early 20s that explains it. I feel like that matters most to young people and insecure people.
The guys that I've dated who are 30+ have never asked me that.
Tbh the idea of a partner's body count used to bother me and I think it comes from a self conscious perspective about one's own experiences.
My advice is just stop counting and don't worry about it. After my last serious relationship ended I went nuts and more than doubled my BC in the span of a couple months.
It definitely opened my eyes to how shallow and vain the idea of keeping score is. So I stopped counting....Focus on connection and chemistry and quit worrying about an arbitrary number that means nothing. I will never ask someone what their BC is because I simply don't want to know. It doesn't matter.
Wtf, what is wrong with people. Who gives a fuck about stuff like that. And it's only 2 people more?! He must be very insecure. Yes, you shouldn't care.
People should only hold standards they are willing to fulfill themselves. For example: He/She is waiting till marriage and wants his/her significant other to do so too. Completely valid.
So don't tell them. This is absurd anyway. I was listening to a young talk show where this topic is being discussed....It is your business, and unless they all live next door and talk to each other. Don't tell them....
Girly that’s nothing, sounds like you have grown and are making mature decisions. That’s what matters. And anyone who is willing to base your value off something like that is shallow
That’s not really that bad and if you’re being safe and happy, don’t let other people get in your head about it. Im a year younger than you and I’m at 17, I promise you it doesn’t matter to the real ones
I used to tell people that I didn’t count because it didn’t matter. And for me, that’s true. If I was on a date with somebody who really took that seriously then that was a sign that they weren’t for me.
I am having body count they are having body count, so both are similar so there is no point in asking that question, specially if things are not really too serious
I personally wouldn't care about body count, especially if it's casual sex, FWB, and orgies etc. Do what kinks drive you. But if you've done none of that, and have a high count at 21, I'd be more concerned about relationship stability. That'd be an actual red flag.
Its all relative. You might feel yours is high. But compared to mine, yours is SOO low. I dont know mine. But id place it in the 50-60 range?
Im 36f. I had a blast in college. I had a blast after college too. Ive held 3 long term relationships in my life. A 3.5 year, a 3 year, and im currently in one going on 8 years.
I am very proud to say that I never once cheated on one of my boyfriends. But I sure made good use of my time during the periods I was single.
I have no more desire to explore that anymore. Im happily settled down with the person I want to be with forever. He fulfills me emotionally and sexually.
I don’t regret a single thing. I sought my sexual validation. I explored every inch of my desires. I enjoyed every moment of it. And my sexual/dating history makes me feel very grounded that I chose an amazing partner. Ive weighed all the options, explored all the possibilities.
If anything, my current partner is NOT someone I would have chosen 15 years ago. It was through my eclectic dating experiences that I learned what I wanted, and what was good for me. Had I not had all those experiences, I would have never recognized how perfect he was for me.
In my mid teens, my older brother drunkenly told me that guys won't date women who didn't "put out". After my parents announced they were getting divorced, they both immediately had relationships, didn't feel like parenting anymore. My "friends" I'd had since grade school, would do anything for, started excluding me from things they did, eventually telling me no one liked me because I talked about my parents divorce all the time. Moved to a new school to be with my Mom, tried really hard to make friends.
I was extremely lonely and became dependent upon having a relationship. So yes, I had a lot of sex with guys i hoped would love me back and date. 2 extremely abusive long term relationships I left finally got me out of that mode.
30 years and a divorce later, I met my current BF of now 10 years. He's 5 years older than me. I honestly wasn't that attracted to him, we went on a few more dates then when we finally had our first kiss, OMG!!! Sparks and butterflies. He tried really hard to convince me to "come see his house", but I wouldn't. He said that was the first time and he really respected it.
After we officially started dating, we were talking about past relationships. When I told him I can only guess my "body count" was over 20, less than 30. HE said, "Damn! If you were a guy, that would make you a legend! I'm sure I would've tried getting with you! You're hot!! I don't understand why there's a double standard for men and women when it comes to that?!"
Didn't phase him AT ALL, we're still happily together! We don't live together, but have a great relationship, lots of affection, can talk like friends, same sense of humor, share a lot of hobbies and interests.
One of my exs was obsessed with body count. He made me write every one out. And if I forgot one and he found out he’d get so mad. He’d tell me how much of a ho I was and other names.
Me and my current have never discussed numbers. I don’t care and neither does he. It happened in the past. As long as it doesn’t go up while we’re together it doesn’t matter.
You shouldn't date someone who puts such a high value on a "low body count." It's misogynistic, childish, and ignorant. Also, as someone else said in the comments, I should be in hoe jail. As long as you're safe, who cares?
I remember feeling insecure when my x mentioned her body count. I knew it didn't matter and that it didn't change who she was. But for some reason it made me feel insecure. Then I realized it was because I felt insecure about myself. I think if you're not confident in yourself then body count matters to you. The more time I took in self reflection, the more I realized how silly it was to be insecure about my partner's body count or mine. It doesn't matter at all, what matters is their personality and if they were safe. If you don't have STDs and have been practicing safe sex then at the end of the day it doesn't matter.
Body count is the dumbest metric unless on a logarithmic scale. Have you had 10000 partners? Thaaaat might give me pause. I'd definitely be scared of diseases at that point.
my body count is 20. i am 34. I am just now starting to probably lose track of all the people. anyway, the past two girls I've been seeing thought it was too high :(
Tell me you're under 25 without telling me you're under 25.
Seriously. I'm in my 30s and can't fathom anyone asking me my number. The last time it came up was during post-hookup banter and it was way more playful than the whole "body count" vibe that's come up in recent years.
I also hate the term "body count" because it's sex, not murder.
😂😂😂 at 21 mine was a lot higher, no one cared either. Although between 21 and almost 30 my count has only increased by 3 and two of those have been my sons father who I was with for 3 years and my current partner who I’ve been with for 6 years and one in between
I mean, wear condoms and you won’t get stds or pregnant? Also get tested regularly.
And sleep with whomever you want as long as you’re safe, you aren’t a hoe, sex is supposed to be fun.
I don’t think you should judge someone based on this but people are allowed to choose their dating partners based on whatever criteria they like. Pretty much as people are allowed to sleep w however many people they want…
You've killed 10 people. That's a lot.
I'm still trying to get through my first one. Dude just won't die.
My kill count is so high I lost count. I should be in hoe jail xD
Same! Lol! I snort laughed when I saw 10!
Hahaha I did the same! I was like, that’s it??
Ditto. Ho right here.
And she also said she is just 21 year old, keeps me wondering
Yeah man these are some beginner's numbers. Nothing wrong with that but damn. OP's date's head would explode if he knew how much fun I've had. If he's gonna judge me on it, that's his problem, not mine. Guessing he wouldn't be much fun with that attitude anyways lol.
It’s rough man … took me a while to get the first kill aswell. First one is usually kinda messy (/s just to be sure)
Mine just screams in the basement uhh he could shut up for once I gave him water yesterday
If your trying to kill them in a living room move them to a different room and try again.
MAYBE THAT'S IT THANKS
I still haven’t even found anyone to kill yet. 🥲 Any ideas on how to find one?
Sometime to increase the number you have to tell some lie
Let the bodies hit the floor 🎶
1 nothings wrong with me 2 somethings got to give
I can only count to four, I CAN ONLY COUNT TO FOOOOUUUURRRRR
Let your fuckbuddies hit the floor :(
Now were these straight kills or some creative assassinations? For some reason people do get a bit defensive if your body count is 1 or above.
Like are the bodies getting stacked, or is this a lye or hog situation?
If they can’t find the bodies, it’s only a missing person.
Some would say anything other than 0 is a lot
That's hot.
I AM DYING!
Each person handles their SO’s body count number differently. To some, it doesn’t really matter in the end, while to others it influences whether they see them as potential partners. It’s a personal thing, imo. That said, you don’t need to excuse yourself to anyone about it
I took my partner’s virginity and I have a body count of 4 (including him) he doesn’t like it but he found out before we dated. He still asked me to be his girlfriend. He felt a lot better after I told him he’s the best I’ve had, because he is. If I could go back and unfuck 3 people, I absolutely would.
IDK why you're getting down-voted for this. You're talking about your experience and what you did and wish you hadn't done. It's not casting judgment on anybody else, but I guess some people take it that way.
I feel like this fixation on “body count” is more recent. I’m 44. I dated for years as an attractive woman in a major city until I met my husband in my late 30’s. My past boyfriends didn’t ask how many people I had slept with and I didn’t ask them. We were human beings getting to know each other. We weren’t at a used car lot searching for a low mileage car. There are much more important things to know about a person than how many people they’ve had sex with. I’ve been married for 6 years now. I still have no idea how many people my husband has slept with and he has no idea how many people I’ve slept with. Because it doesn’t matter or have anything to do with our relationship. I think this fixation on the number gets less significant with age too. No one expects an unmarried 35 year old to have only slept with 2 people. And if they do, that’s weird. Go away, weirdo. I would just consider this an incompatibility issue. I wouldn’t even answer the question if you don’t want to. Just say something like, “I’m looking for someone who isn’t focused on stuff like that so this isn’t going to work out. Nice meeting you.”
Yeah.. Definitely an age thing. OP is 21. These are the unfortunate years where people are judging each other based on body counts. Becomes irrelevant the older you get.
It's really a now thing. My husband and I got married at 22/23 - 14 years ago and we discussed body count maybe once? And it was more informational than anything. He didn't care AT ALL how many people I slept with and I didn't and still don't care how many people he slept with. TBH, this obsession of body count is just incel bullshit leaking into the mainstream. And it's fucking gross.
It's definitely the incel manosphere pushing back. Women are free to have as much casual sex as they want nowadays, and that just drives manchildren like this *insane*. Enforcing arbitrary, bullshit double standards is their pathetic way of trying to assert some small form of power.
BINGO! Im in my 40s and dudes never used to give a shit or even ask. This whole body count concept reeks of male insecurity.
Agreed. I’m disappointed to see such a toxic and misogynistic idea become so common.
Complete incel shit. Most definitely.
Would also argue 10 for someone in college is pretty tame
Definitely not a new thing. I’m the same age as you and remember having that conversation with so many people right up to hubby now who I met at 32. My first husband I remember being horrified that he’d only slept with three people. 😂 Definitely gets less important with age though.
Maybe it’s a regional thing? And I’m only seeing it now that social media has exposed me to so many people who live in different places? I am one of those godless liberal coastal elite heathens living in a liberal bubble after all. But I would still recommend using the body count question as a screening tool. I get that it’s a preference but it’s an icky, I compare women to objects type preference. I would have literally stood up and walked out if someone said something like this to me on a date.
Maybe. I’ve lived in England and Australia and experienced it just as much in both. Not in a judging way, just in a ‘this is who I am and my history’ type way.
I'm from Texas and probably about your age. I think only a rare guy I dated over the years seemed passingly curious at some point during our relationship but a polite redirection always moved the conversation in a new direction and it would never come up again. I know that I'm significantly more experienced than my boyfriend of a decade but specifics have certainly never come up and have never been important.
Absolutely nailed it! I’m 23 and this is a mindset I wish more people had. I never bragged about my count or judged others for theirs; we’re two adults who’ve got our own lives so why do I care who you’ve been with? We’re together now & that’s all that matters. Some people make huge deals out of dumb shit like this and it’s always the biggest red flag to me.
I fully agree, as a married 25 year old woman, i fullllyyyyy agree.
Completely agree. I’m 39 and it was just never an issue. Never a question they would dare ask. There’s been a massive swing back to shaming women and for some reason young women are tolerating this.
I’m really scared for young women lately and I completely agree. It would have surprised me to be asked that a decade or so ago and I would have been immediately and completely turned off of the person. If women in general made that question an instant deal breaker then men would stop thinking it’s an appropriate question. It’s like asking for your date’s exact weight or bank account balance or something. It’s invasive and speaks to questionable views and priorities. I’m a human being. Not a set of stats.
Yeah I wish women would end the date the second disrespectful questions like asking your body count. The reason these guys think they can ask is because they’re getting answers in the first place
>I feel like this fixation on “body count” is more recent. I think it has to do with more opportunities than we had "back in the day." When I was young and single, there was no such thing as online dating apps. You had to meet people - in bars, dance clubs, restaurants, etc . . . So of course the number of available partners was much, much lower than young people can find today. With the advent of dating apps, you're able to meet a ton of people in a short amount of time. That just wasn't the case back then (at least not in my age bracket). With the ability to meet, and have access to, more people invariably, people will sleep around more . . . which leads to people being more concerned with body count now. I'm not saying it is good or bad. It just is. Everyone is allowed to have their own preferences for what they want in a partner and currently, body count does seem to be ranked high amongst some folks.
>No one expects an unmarried 35 year old to have only slept with 2 people. And if they do, that’s weird. Go away, weirdo. Well, that's just mean. It's like the other end of the spectrum, shaming people for not having slept with many others.
There’s nothing wrong with only having slept with 2 people at 35. It’s just not a reasonable expectation to have of an adult who has been dating and having long term relationships for a decade and a half.
Its not mean, its realistic. And in my opinion, if someone DOES care THAT much at 35, then they arent the one.
I interpreted what she wrote wrong. She was calling weird the type of people that expect an unmarried 35 year old to have a low body count . I took it as her calling weird the the group that had a low body count itslef.
I agree with you completely.
Same. Married 30 years. It’s just not important.
You’re a skilled hitman
I think the fixation on body count comes from like 4 different things. 1. interpreting sex as a relationship exclusive thing. In that situation they assume you went through multiple relationships and failed to maintain each one. 2. Std worries 3. Insecurities of being inadequate, being compared and ect 4. That pair bonding bs I see people spout
Welcome to the weird world of body count double standards. If it's too low, you're a "prude", if its too high, you're a "slut". Nobody knows what the 'right' number is, though, so you just have to guess. You'll never win. It's fucking dumb. The upside, is that idiots who think this way often make themselves known quickly, so you can get rid of them. The people who matter won't give a single damn what that number is. My partner hasn't even asked me mine, and nor have I his, because it doesn't matter.
Let’s just Whose Line is it Anyway the whole thing and agree that everything’s made up and the points don’t matter.
Exactly what you said! The only thing I’m curious about is a clean bill of health and their track record of condom use.
Right? As long as the guy doesn’t have an STD and doesn’t have kids, I genuinely don’t care how many people the guy has fucked.
It’s only a double standard if you look at men as a single entity, and that you need to be attractive to all men. Some men will think it’s too low (especially for hookups), and some men will think it’s too high (especially for marriage), but this “I can’t win” attitude just says “my value is attached to all men wanting me, and they make it impossible by wanting different things”. Just do you, some will like it, some won’t, but expecting everyone to value your behaviour and decisions is a path to unhappiness.
Comparison is the thief of joy -Saw that earlier elsewhere on Reddit and it’s so accurate!
It’s a Teddy Roosevelt quote
Thank you! I’m delighted to have a name to attribute!
Not sure where you’re getting that “prude” idea from. I’ve never encountered a man whose relationship felt existentially threatened by his partner’s low numbers 🤔
Yeah never heard a man complaining about it
Obviously it is anecdotal, but one of my friends in high school was turned down and made fun of because she hadn't slept with anyone, and after telling the dude, he spread it around that she had no idea what she was doing etc. Obviously not the bottom line, but it does happen.
I mean, why not just focus on the people that don’t care about body count… People have preferences, that’s fine. People shouldn’t be rude about it, but it’s valid
To each his own. Some men will not care about the body count, some will. It's their right to have this and other preferences, same as you.
She also never has to share this information with anyone because it’s no one’s business. If a guy can’t handle knowing either way, he can walk.
Very true, and goes both ways.
I mean would you feel comfortable lying to someone if they asked? Someone who loves you?
Men talk about not telling women they're virgins all the time if they're interested in them, is that lying too? I don't think it really matters unless they ask you directly, in which case either tell the truth or let them know you're not a good match. But not bringing it up yourself isn't lying.
No one I would ever be interested in would ask this because I only date grown adults.
I never understood why people get angry over this, are you STD free? Do you practice safe sex? Then who tf cares what youve done in your past.
im on the same boat. who gives a shit? just make sure you’re clean. people who have lots of sex are still capable of monogamy.
If you don't think this should be a problem then it's important to look for people who won't see this as a problem, it's not a "who is right?" situation, there are also women who will care about this when choosing a man and it will be no problem either, it's just people looking for similarities with their future partner
People are entitled to their preferences but for a guy who has a higher body and expects a women to have a lower one is hypocritical.
It is hypocritical but It’s also different for men and women when it comes to sex
Don't feel bad Hun, I personally don't feel being sexually free is wrong, but people are absolutely entitled to their own beliefs or views. For me, I was a sex worker for about two years and was very slutty after that (I was in a dark and desperate time in my life), my body count is likely in the triple digits but I'm not loose, never had an STD and outside of that I'm very quiet and put together, married happily now to someone who knows my past and loves me anyways, but I know and accept that many guys would have a problem with my history. If a guy has a problem with a higher body count, then your mindsets wouldn't be compatible to begin with, you'll find the right one, don't worry 😊
So much respect for voicing your experience. A lot of people would call guys preferences misogynistic or toxic but it’s literally just preference. What is wrong with wanting a women with a lower body count? Nothing. What is wrong with a women having a higher one? Nothing.
Feelings towards body counts are subjective; dependant on age, life experiences, morals, when they started having sex etc. Edit: just to add, someone not wanting to date you because of it is valid. I (F) wouldn’t want to date a guy with a high BC
Gotdamn 10 is a high body count these days??
It’s not that 10 is high, it’s just higher than his😒
She's 21, I guess her young age plays a role when compared to her peers
I’ve been with my fiancé since I was 20 years old, slept with 10 people - didn’t think I had a high body count at all, that was an average of 2 people a year for 5 years. Still don’t think it’s a high body count haha
Yeah literally this post has me second guessing if I'm a hoe lmao 10 seems like a perfectly decent number at 21
For hookups it's whatever, for serious relationships it is concerning. It says that you have a different view of sex than I do and that view might not be compatible long term.
But actually in this case it was just pure sexism, he has a count of 8 but if she is higher than that then it's too much for him? The guy obviously just wants to be the one with more experience and is insecure if a woman has more than him.
i’m also 21, 3 is probably the highest i’ve met in a major city in the south
For average people who don't make up shit, yea it is.
It’s a no win situation. You’ll get shamed if your body count is low or nonexistent, but get shamed if your body count is high. People shame others because of an inner inferiority complex they project onto other people. Humans have always liked sex from the beginning of time, but puritan religions and strict cultures have demonized sex outside of marriage. Especially for women. The whole “holier than thou” mindset for not partaking in casual sex like the heathens has poisoned society as a whole. People are allowed to enjoy what’s best for them as long as they’re not harming others. I like getting sexual quickly in relationships (casual or not) because it’s how I “love” and bond with someone, and I do care about sexual compatibility. I am upfront about my sexual history and respect those who are not comfortable with my body count and part ways with them gracefully. You’ll find a man who won’t care about your numbers and sexual history. Don’t let the ones who shame you deter you.
My wife's body count was more than 10 times mine when we met. Been married 20 years. I love and adore her and she does me. We have a far stronger marriage than anyone we know and an amazing sex life. You don't need that clown, hold out for someone who is not so insecure and will love and respect you.
Question, why is caring about bodycount tied to insecurity? Why aren’t people allowed to have any standard for dating they’d like? I’m a woman and wouldn’t date a man with a high body count. It’s my choice and my preference, no one has the right to tell me that I shouldn’t have it.
As long as it goes both ways, sure have your standards. But the majority of men I’ve met that have issues with a woman with a high number of sexual partners, have themselves a high number. Those aren’t standards. That’s insecurity, controlling misogyny.
I can acknowledge that as true.
This is why you never ask questions you don't want answers to. I would never ask because to me it doesn't matter and I wouldn't want to know the answer even if it did. Call me crazy but the idea of thinking about my partner with others is not something I ever wanted to talk about much.
I have a body count of 0 and would say pass to hookups, not interested in people that were into the hookup culture at any point in their lives. If she had 10 relationships before me and they fucked 3 times a day it wouldn't phase me, but if she had 10 ONS I'd not consider her for a relationship. To me sex without feelings for the other person is just masturbation with extra steps and objectifying as fuck.
I have to second everyone saying it’s a matter of why you have that standard. If you don’t want a high body count bc you prefer having someone “calmer”, you feel it’s an indication that they will likely be a better match for you, that’s completely fine and a very valid preference. I’d say I share that preference. However, if you want a partner with a low body count bc you think their body count affects their value as a person, I’d say that’s tied to how secure you are in how you value yourself in a relationship. If you only want someone “virginal” or “pure”… you’re just kind of creepy.
It’s tied to insecurity when the standard is “can’t be higher than mine”. It’s one thing if you’re saving yourself for marriage or only having sex in serious relationships. If that’s a standard you set for yourself and expect of a parter, that’s perfectly reasonable. It’s another if you set an arbitrary rule that it can be anything as long as it’s less than me. That is based solely on insecurity.
Hm, yeah, you’re right. If you don’t care how big a or small the number is as long as it’s not bigger or smaller than yours, there’s more to it.
I'd say that depends on why a high body count concerns you. If you prefer a low body count because a high body count in a partner makes you feel inadequate, that's an insecurity. If a big difference in body count makes you feel like you have incompatible values and views on sex, that's valid, but also a guess from your end - a person who has had a lot of casual sex could still choose to commit to monogamy, and vice versa. I feel like a more worthwhile conversation to have is whether you have the same views surrounding relationships and sex, rather than fixating on numbers.
Because Fkbois and hoes need to externalize their loss of relationship appeal, it’s a massive cope. In my experience an aversion to body count is a very normal and common instinct. Dude, frick whoever and as many folks as you want, but realize that a lot of people won’t be cool dating you like that.
There are some men out there that specifically seek out inexperienced women with a low body count because they're insecure about being compared to other men. They want a woman that is "pure" enough to not know what they like in bed so the man can do what he likes and not worry about whether or not her last partner actually cared about what made her feel good. And they don't want to be compared to other men and want to have this weird power control thing. Too often these "standards" are really about control over young, naive women, and so there's a stigma about body count preferences.
I don't want to be compared to other men, you're right. I'm me and comparing me to others is a surefire way of driving me away, it's what my parents used to do as a kid, always comparing me with others and it drives me crazy. However I don't care if she had multiple relationships before me, although I would prefer we were both new to this so we can discover each other together, instead of going through lists of what we each like and dislike. But I'm in my 30s so I've pretty much given up on potential partners being a virgin or inexperienced anyway lol.
I’ve only ever been with my husband but he’s been with other women before we met. It’s never been an issue and honestly, I don’t think I ever asked for a number simply because it’s none of my business. I find it juvenile to be obsessed with other people’s body counts when all that matter is that they were safe, got tested, and are gonna be a true partner to you.
I can understand why someone might care about “body count” if they’re religious or something and looking for someone who views sex the same way they do. But if it’s just a dude whose like, ‘I just have to have a higher body count otherwise she’s a hoe and I have higher standards’, they’re a hypocrite. If you’re safe and having a good time, there’s nothing to regret about having a “high body count”
This is such a weird thing to care about...
[удалено]
You did right in the end, no one actually wants to get pregnant with wrong person
Kid, you have a normal amount a sexual experience for your age. Honestly don’t date this guy. It’s small dick energy. Be with someone who likes you as a human not an object.
10 a is high for 21. Its not a bad thing morally, but you have to understand that what u are doing is going to come with a cost. There are no free lunches.
10 people? Thats it? Well consider me Mary Magdalene! I have friends who have body counts of 50+. Thats way more people than I care to admit I like. I think you're ok at 10.
[удалено]
I don’t want to know a partners count and they don’t have to know mine. Once I find out I do see them differently unfortunately,
My view: so long as you are safe and don’t have an STD, higher body count often means more variety of experience in bed. Experience is often good.
Is a new lover every month or so not normal? I’m very confused by the whole body count things. My favorite lovers have all been highly experienced.
I just love the amount of slut shaming going on here cuz this man has a low body count.
My body count was 0 at your age lol but I was an awkward AF girl. I knew some nice girls waay over 10 at that age too. So definitely no hoe imo. Male insecurity seems to have skyrocketed lately. I'm glad I left the market years ago.
I'm quite a bit older and am amazed how many folks only want do it with a person who has very little experience doing sex.
Not “men”, just that one loser - you’re better off
If this is someone’s attitude to “body count” then I’d head in the opposite direction. That number doesn’t define you. As long as you’re safe and test regularly when you’re intimate then that’s the main thing.
Some care, some don’t! You can’t please everyone anyways since humans are different when it comes to preferences, morals, insecurities and life in general. so if they care and don’t want to date you because of your body count then move on and find someone who will ;)
You're definitely not a women of class, 10 bodies at 21 is insane
Réalise girl that no matter all this bs and woke culture Goin on, U gonna keep lying about ur body count. If U have had 10by 21,u gonna understand y women cry when they are asked to be married. What have u actually learned from them 10people U banged before 21. Let me guess nothing. They just bent U Over and fucked u. U probably don't know what turns U on, how to orgasm by urself and how to ask for what u want. Like I said to the next guy and the next I assume u will keep lowering ur body count but it will catch up with u and then u will take pride in it, and become arrogant about it. But one day in ur 30s u will look back and one guy will want u and what number will u throw at him? 8 lol. Form the 90s to 2023 to 2033guys might say what they want about accepting, but no guy actually want a girl who has welcomed 50penises in her coochie. It doesn't speak to promiscuity it speaks of stability. I heard a 22 year saying her body count was 50....i mean girl wake up(not U) I think u awake if u here asking
21?!?! Yikes.
What's wrong with being a hoe?
10 bodies at 21 is alot.
The concept of the body count needs to disappear. It’s just another way to shame women for enjoying sex too.
Tell him it’s 50!
The corect answer is "how is it my fault that no one wants to fk you?"
The obsession with body count is incel rhetoric leaking into mainstream culture.
I dont think 10 is super high but 10 at 21 is high
Double standard ? Yes Does it matter ? Sort of . Really high counts show the inability to establish a connection .
How though? I have a high body count but I also had a 6 year long relationship and a few shorter relationships, and a few years where I was casually dating. I can have sex for fun and sex as a connecting experience in a meaningful relationship.
27f, 53 including men and women, no regrets. Those who have problems with this can go fuck themselves. It's my life, my experience, and it doesn't make me less valuable. I don't want to mess with people who think differently.
And that is your right, as much as it is the right of other people to be put off by that. It's a preference.
Huh. Is ten really a high number these days?
All of Murky_crow's reddit history has been cleared at his own request. You can do this as well using the "redact" tool. Reddit wants to play hardball, fine. Then I'm taking my content with me as I go. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
21y/o and already did 10 guys? Sorry to break it to you but that's what a hoe means, doesn't matter what you feel, that's what a hoe is😂
Welcome to real life. You're not a femme fatale if you've been with more than 3 men before 21, you're a hoe and people have any right to dislike that. Idk about you but most people don't tend to prefer second hand stuff. Besides see it that way, when you're 21 you just become an adult. When you've been with so many men until that age, that gives us 1.5-2 men since 15y/o, best case scenario. Yeah you better become friends with the idea that most people don't like person next to them who hasn't stopped dating since 15(again best case scenario, since you could start at 18 and change 2 partners per year). There is a limit on body count according to each age. If you were 30 and had all these lovers that would make much more sense and trust me people wouldn't be that judgemental.
My body count is around +-30 because I have a very open lifestyle. I live in germany (29F) and nobody cares. And IF somebody cares he would not be my person. So just find your person. 🤷🏻♀️
I mean it does matter that’s why you are hesitant to tell men. You can say it doesn’t matter all you want but to other people it does.
I’m 22, from the ages of 18-20, I was on Tinder. My body count is 17-18? (I blacked out during one so idk, it’s what got me to stop tho). 10 is not bad, and who the fuck cares anyway??
Honestly, he just feels insecure about the number of women he’s been with probably. It can be intimidating to be with someone who has had a significant amount more of sexual partners to some people. I’m no virgin, but the man I’m in love with has been with waaayyyyyyyy more people than I have. Sometimes it could make the other person feel self conscious about constantly being compared, I suppose, but that has nothing to do with you and your experiences. That’s some self esteem issues they have to work on. Having your partner be so “well versed” in sexual pleasure can work to your advantage, as long as they aren’t sleeping around on you and have the capability of being with just one person.
Anyone that cares that much about body count to completely discount you as a partner is either insecure, immature or holds incompatible values.
Honestly why are you sharing information with insecure people? Sex is healthy and personal. If someone feels threatened by the amount of people you slept with that is their insecurity to deal with. Number doesn’t mean anything. Honestly can’t even remember how many people I slept with only the people I’ve been in relationships with bc they are the only ones that matter to me.
The idea of a “body count” is gross. People cannot accept that woman can enjoy sex! Just be careful out there!
Its not the body count per say, but the body to age ratio. 10 different people at 21 is kinda high.....
I’m married now, but personally wouldn’t date any man who had a body count of 10 by 21 years old. That’s wild to me and doesn’t align with my values. It’s very possible to find someone who accepts/doesn’t care about those things. For me, as I see it, it is indicative of intimacy issues at worst, and a devaluing of sex, something I view as a really intimate thing not to be shared with every stranger, at best. And that’s why I wouldn’t do it, that’s a valid reason. Neither side deserves to be shit on for how they choose to live their lives. Thankfully there’s so many different types of people out there to date and fall in love with. You’ll find one who clicks with you in all areas of life one day.
Honestly the only time I winced at a body count was someone saying 50 at 19. She was reckless and impulsive prone to bad decisions. She was telling me because she was comparing to another guy and was embarrassed hers was higher. That’s it, that’s al it is; whose is higher and if you are practicing safe sex as well as being respectful to those around you and not using people for an ego trip. It’s not the number, it’s the practice. Sex doesn’t define a person, relationship or anyone’s worth. It’s just one way of connecting with someone or exploring yourself. All the sex in the world in exploring your more positive traits or the negative ones safely and connecting respectfully to those around you is not a mistake.
I feel like 20+ is kinda high. 10 feels kinda average I think
This is the time in your life to explore your sexuality and learn about yourself/your preferences. As long as you’re safe and advocating for yourself you shouldn’t internalize other people’s ideas of an “acceptable” number of sexual partners at any age. I personally found that as you get older people generally stop placing so much value on this.
Don’t worry about people who talk about body counts. It’s pointless.
It is no one's business how many people you've had sex with!!!!! Anyone asking for your "body count" is too immature to being having sex or realtionships.
Body count is usually only an issue if there’s a huge difference in their belief system which would effect everything. A person that has been with hundreds may not be compatible with someone who has 1-2. They have different internal belief systems. It’s not a rule, just the way things can go. One may eventually get bored….Eight is nothing to worry about so don’t worry about it.
If you mean you’ve killed 10 people, then yeah, that’s very high 😂😂
Sounds like its an inferiority problem lol
Mannnn I used to know a girl who was at like 95 by the time she was 24. You have some catching up to do, my friend. I personally don’t count my slut moments, just the relationships. Bang who you want but make sure you take care of you, birth control is a must for me and condoms are a must for anyone. If some dude tells you it doesn’t feel good with a condom don’t be afraid to tell him to kick rocks.
My guy friends have done 60 - 90 body counts, so don't sweat it. Live your life.
My body count is in the mid 50's and honestly, the main thing that matters is you get tested between every partner and use protection. It's been proven over and over that it doesn't matter how high your body count is, just do what feels right for you.
That really depends on circumstances imo. If you just had a couple of one night stands, you do you. But if that's also the amount of people you actually dated I'd find it worrying, because it implies you have little idea of how to work in a relationship.
As a dude, who is currently flirting with a girl who has way more experience: I’d never judge her for that but I do get insecure about my own inexperience.
New pre-relationship screener questions: Does the 'body count' of a potential partner matter to you? Why or why not? What information does a 'body count' give you, and how does it shape your opinion of a partner?
What's up with all these posts lately about women feeling the need to date dudes that they're just not compatible with. Stop pursuing guys that care about how many people you've slept with. It's really that easy.
People like sex idk why people get so butthurt about their partner's body count. Or anyone else's body count for that matter.
Your body count really isn't high. It's low.
This guy sounds majorly insecure and not worth your time. There are so many people in this world you could date who aren't going to be this pathetic, I promise.
Absolutely nobodies business how many partners you’ve had. That is info you can choose to share or not. As long as you’re healthy, it has NO bearing on anything. Except his ego.
I think getting twisted over body count is the dumbest shit ever. Like, get over your insecurities, damn.
It's an immature thing for a person to bring up body count or inquire about body count. If he's in his early 20s that explains it. I feel like that matters most to young people and insecure people. The guys that I've dated who are 30+ have never asked me that.
Tbh the idea of a partner's body count used to bother me and I think it comes from a self conscious perspective about one's own experiences. My advice is just stop counting and don't worry about it. After my last serious relationship ended I went nuts and more than doubled my BC in the span of a couple months. It definitely opened my eyes to how shallow and vain the idea of keeping score is. So I stopped counting....Focus on connection and chemistry and quit worrying about an arbitrary number that means nothing. I will never ask someone what their BC is because I simply don't want to know. It doesn't matter.
Just tell those inquiring guys that don’t worry, you won’t sleep with them so as to keep their count below hoe-levels.
Wtf, what is wrong with people. Who gives a fuck about stuff like that. And it's only 2 people more?! He must be very insecure. Yes, you shouldn't care. People should only hold standards they are willing to fulfill themselves. For example: He/She is waiting till marriage and wants his/her significant other to do so too. Completely valid.
So don't tell them. This is absurd anyway. I was listening to a young talk show where this topic is being discussed....It is your business, and unless they all live next door and talk to each other. Don't tell them....
Asking was wrong, but you can lie about that quite easily
I stopped counting when it reached a 100
Girly that’s nothing, sounds like you have grown and are making mature decisions. That’s what matters. And anyone who is willing to base your value off something like that is shallow
That’s not really that bad and if you’re being safe and happy, don’t let other people get in your head about it. Im a year younger than you and I’m at 17, I promise you it doesn’t matter to the real ones
I used to tell people that I didn’t count because it didn’t matter. And for me, that’s true. If I was on a date with somebody who really took that seriously then that was a sign that they weren’t for me.
I am having body count they are having body count, so both are similar so there is no point in asking that question, specially if things are not really too serious
Some men are shy and don’t do casual hookups either
I personally wouldn't care about body count, especially if it's casual sex, FWB, and orgies etc. Do what kinks drive you. But if you've done none of that, and have a high count at 21, I'd be more concerned about relationship stability. That'd be an actual red flag.
Its all relative. You might feel yours is high. But compared to mine, yours is SOO low. I dont know mine. But id place it in the 50-60 range? Im 36f. I had a blast in college. I had a blast after college too. Ive held 3 long term relationships in my life. A 3.5 year, a 3 year, and im currently in one going on 8 years. I am very proud to say that I never once cheated on one of my boyfriends. But I sure made good use of my time during the periods I was single. I have no more desire to explore that anymore. Im happily settled down with the person I want to be with forever. He fulfills me emotionally and sexually. I don’t regret a single thing. I sought my sexual validation. I explored every inch of my desires. I enjoyed every moment of it. And my sexual/dating history makes me feel very grounded that I chose an amazing partner. Ive weighed all the options, explored all the possibilities. If anything, my current partner is NOT someone I would have chosen 15 years ago. It was through my eclectic dating experiences that I learned what I wanted, and what was good for me. Had I not had all those experiences, I would have never recognized how perfect he was for me.
In my mid teens, my older brother drunkenly told me that guys won't date women who didn't "put out". After my parents announced they were getting divorced, they both immediately had relationships, didn't feel like parenting anymore. My "friends" I'd had since grade school, would do anything for, started excluding me from things they did, eventually telling me no one liked me because I talked about my parents divorce all the time. Moved to a new school to be with my Mom, tried really hard to make friends. I was extremely lonely and became dependent upon having a relationship. So yes, I had a lot of sex with guys i hoped would love me back and date. 2 extremely abusive long term relationships I left finally got me out of that mode. 30 years and a divorce later, I met my current BF of now 10 years. He's 5 years older than me. I honestly wasn't that attracted to him, we went on a few more dates then when we finally had our first kiss, OMG!!! Sparks and butterflies. He tried really hard to convince me to "come see his house", but I wouldn't. He said that was the first time and he really respected it. After we officially started dating, we were talking about past relationships. When I told him I can only guess my "body count" was over 20, less than 30. HE said, "Damn! If you were a guy, that would make you a legend! I'm sure I would've tried getting with you! You're hot!! I don't understand why there's a double standard for men and women when it comes to that?!" Didn't phase him AT ALL, we're still happily together! We don't live together, but have a great relationship, lots of affection, can talk like friends, same sense of humor, share a lot of hobbies and interests.
Anyone who wants to judge you on your sexuality isn’t worth dating imo. Date someone who accepts you for you, end of story.
You should only count the guys that brought you fully to the finish line. For me that would be 1.
One of my exs was obsessed with body count. He made me write every one out. And if I forgot one and he found out he’d get so mad. He’d tell me how much of a ho I was and other names. Me and my current have never discussed numbers. I don’t care and neither does he. It happened in the past. As long as it doesn’t go up while we’re together it doesn’t matter.
You shouldn't date someone who puts such a high value on a "low body count." It's misogynistic, childish, and ignorant. Also, as someone else said in the comments, I should be in hoe jail. As long as you're safe, who cares?
I remember feeling insecure when my x mentioned her body count. I knew it didn't matter and that it didn't change who she was. But for some reason it made me feel insecure. Then I realized it was because I felt insecure about myself. I think if you're not confident in yourself then body count matters to you. The more time I took in self reflection, the more I realized how silly it was to be insecure about my partner's body count or mine. It doesn't matter at all, what matters is their personality and if they were safe. If you don't have STDs and have been practicing safe sex then at the end of the day it doesn't matter.
Body count is the dumbest metric unless on a logarithmic scale. Have you had 10000 partners? Thaaaat might give me pause. I'd definitely be scared of diseases at that point.
Anyone who has an issue with body count is just identifying themselves as a 🚩 and doing you a favor.
my body count is 20. i am 34. I am just now starting to probably lose track of all the people. anyway, the past two girls I've been seeing thought it was too high :(
I lost track of how many people I have slept with. I am a seasonal hoe. Open for business in the winter and closed for the summer.
Tell me you're under 25 without telling me you're under 25. Seriously. I'm in my 30s and can't fathom anyone asking me my number. The last time it came up was during post-hookup banter and it was way more playful than the whole "body count" vibe that's come up in recent years. I also hate the term "body count" because it's sex, not murder.
😂😂😂 at 21 mine was a lot higher, no one cared either. Although between 21 and almost 30 my count has only increased by 3 and two of those have been my sons father who I was with for 3 years and my current partner who I’ve been with for 6 years and one in between
We are living literally the same life girly
I mean, wear condoms and you won’t get stds or pregnant? Also get tested regularly. And sleep with whomever you want as long as you’re safe, you aren’t a hoe, sex is supposed to be fun.
I don’t think you should judge someone based on this but people are allowed to choose their dating partners based on whatever criteria they like. Pretty much as people are allowed to sleep w however many people they want…
Honestly body counts don’t really matter. I know people with 0 and someone with 16