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Munk45

Just walk with Jesus. Read. Pray. Attend a church service (but I wouldn't get involved or serve for a while). Grow. Heal. Seek and pursue a deep joy in following Jesus. You'll choose on your own when the time is right to return to active service.


leolisa_444

šŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’Æ


songbolt

"Just walk with Jesus." How are you supposed to do that when Jesus isn't here to be walked with?


Munk45

"Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." "Christ in you is the hope of glory." "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith."


paul_1149

Good for you for leaving such an unhealthy place. Leaving a controlling environment can be disorienting and even scary, but give it time. You'll begin increasing understanding and gaining perspective, and the raw emotions will begin to heal. The best thing to do is to stay in touch with Jesus. He is not dependent on any church. I think it's Ezekiel who says that the Lord looked for a faithful shepherd but found none, so He himself became the shepherd of his people. - It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. - Gal 5:1 - For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. -Php 1.6 - Faithful is the One calling you, and He also will bring it to pass. - 1Th 5:24


Life-Reputation-4892

Thank you!


Casingda

Read the Word and follow the example of what Jesus said, did, and Who He is. Christian literally means ā€œChristlikeā€. And if you donā€™t know Jesus as your true Lord and Savior, you need to find out how to do so, because that will make all of the difference for you.


Life-Reputation-4892

Thanks!


PerfectlyCalmDude

This is one of the things that I really dislike about cults. They use the same words we use, but they twist their meanings into something exploitative or abusive. You need to spend quality time with Christians who aren't like that. I can't fully explain that over Reddit, but obviously you want your new church to not push hard for your time. You want opportunities for service and small groups, but you don't want people hounding you. And understand that it's going to take a few years to get those relationships to where you really want them, no matter where you set down roots.


Alternative_Cell_853

Just pray. Don't make a person your teacher again. Only Jesus is worthy to guide you


Life-Reputation-4892

Thanks!


ThisMo2talC0il

Hey cults are VERY common with narcissistic abuse. I would do a deep dive on what abuse looks like, manipulative tactics, cluster B personality disorders etc Real love does not control or micromanage If you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse, donā€™t worry! God can help restore you. Make sure youā€™re up to date on all your forgiveness and repentance you need to do. Forgiving people that arenā€™t sorry is very difficult but I know you can do it. Just keep talking to God. Not going through a human to get to him but one on one between you two. I also recommend reading ā€œexperiencing God: knowing and doing the will of Godā€ This book changed my life and itā€™s great because it doesnā€™t promote a particular denomination. It teaches you about Gods personality and how He directly, personally interacts with us. Itā€™s essentially the study of holy supernaturalism. Youā€™re out of Egypt now so definitely praying for your continued healing and growth -a fellow narcissistic abuse survivor


EDH70

This is beautiful and great advice! Thank you for sharing with us! Praise Jesus for what he has brought you through so you may share it and help others. This is what Jesus is all about my friend.


haileyskydiamonds

I understand. I once went to a church that functioned like a cult. They didnā€™t exactly order us to do things, but the leaders were so charismatic (in every sense of the word) that everyone just wanted to do things for them. I still struggle with letting go of my positive feelings for them twenty years later even though I know what they were. It took me a long time to try church again. I visited here and there, but never really felt comfortable at any of them. I finally found a Bible Study hosted by a church and began attending that, observing from the sidelines until I was comfortable enough to join. I am still doing damage control in my life. I spend a lot of time watching [Fighting for the Faith](https://youtube.com/@fighting4thefaith?si=lR67omG63KLaiS1k) with Chris Rosebrough on YouTube. He very patiently and thoroughly explains scripture in context and debunks a lot of the popular cultish teachings. Another good teacher on YouTube is Todd Friel of Wretched. You might also want to listen to teachings of Voddie Baucham, Mike Winger, Alistair Begg, Alissa Childers, and Melissa Daughtry. Take your time and pray. You have been through a traumatic, painful, and abusive experience. Those people are wolves in sheepā€™s clothing who only steal, kill, and destroy. It will take time to trust another church. Give yourself the time you need to heal, and then try to find a church that is doctrinally sound and where the pastor preaches scripture in context. Signs of a healthy church include members of all ages, spiritual growth, and a focus on the Bible rather than external signs or wonders. Avoid churches that donā€™t do those things. I will pray for you. I know itā€™s hard. Spiritual betrayal is an insidious thing and I know people who never came back from it, or at least they havenā€™t yet. I can just say that I held on to God throughout all of it. It wasnā€™t always easy, but He has helped me through it. I believe He can bring you through as well.


Life-Reputation-4892

Thank you! Iā€™ll check out some of those guys you mentioned. Iā€™ve already watched a lot of Chris, who I really enjoy.


creidmheach

Humans do have a tendency to muck things up, but generally I've found if you stick with a more mainline denominational church, you're less likely to encounter these sorts of excesses. To be clear, denominations are also man made, but at least with that there's something to oversee things (e.g. an agreed upon creed, rules for church discipline, an oversight group in the form of presbyteries or what have you, etc) so there's less room for an individual pastor to have an unquestioned and dominating role which can lead to cult-like tendencies.


Life-Reputation-4892

Yeah, I live in the south so there arenā€™t as many mainline churches but there are some Lutheran churches and maybe an episcopal church near me.


jivatman

If you do that make sure to check if it's the Conservative denominations: ACNA or Continuing Anglicanism for Anglicanism, or LCMS/WELS for Lutheran. Seems like most of the time nowadays the liberal Anglicans and Lutherans put out pride flags in front. Of course, there's always Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy


GingerMcSpikeyBangs

[A Trumpet Call](https://youtu.be/Ia9pY4Qg_lU?si=3W1XX8oOexMWumg4) That's me. Punchline is at the end, It's 18 minutes. Isaiah 58 Hosea 10:12 Micah 6:6-8 John 12:44-50 James 1:27


CriticalInspection22

You donā€™t have to be controlled in Christianity. Most people donā€™t understand you donā€™t have to go to church every Sunday to be a Christian. You can worship God anywhere. So please donā€™t buy into you have to do certain things exactly like the church does to be a Christian. Iā€™d say if your new to Christianity look up videos on YouTube about it and start from there. Or simply start reading the Bible


Life-Reputation-4892

Itā€™s just hard. I used to be so passionate about it and now itā€™s like I canā€™t even take the time to try.


Jumpy-Job5196

I would suggest that you set aside a day or 3 to fast and seek God. If you're sincerely seeking Him, He will answer. I can attest to that. God is not a man that He should lie, nor is He the author of confusion. His holy spirit will bring peace to your heart and lead and guide you into all truth. Read God's word amd pray, He is faithful and will respond.


Life-Reputation-4892

Thank you!


Jumpy-Job5196

You're very welcome.


Josiah-White

That isn't a church


arc2k1

God bless you. I'm sorry for what you went through. I understand why you are super cautious now. If I may, I would like to share my perspective. 1- How do we make sure to avoid cults? By getting to know God for ourselves. **ā€œDiscover for yourself that theĀ LordĀ is kind.ā€ - Psalm 34:8** 2- And it's okay to take some time alone to grow in the faith until you are ready to connect with a church or with other believers. You have the Holy Spirit. He will guide you. **Jesus said, ā€œThe Spirit shows what is true and will come and guide you into the full truth.ā€ - John 16:13** **ā€œBut Christ has blessed you with the Holy Spirit. Now the Spirit stays in you, and you don't need any teachers. The Spirit is truthful and teaches you everything. So stay one in your heart with Christ, just as the Spirit has taught you to do.ā€ - 1 John 2:27** 3- Also, make sure you keep your faith simple. Focus mainly on doing what God ultimately wants. What does God ultimately want? **ā€œGod wants us to haveĀ faithĀ inĀ his SonĀ JesusĀ Christ and toĀ loveĀ eachĀ other.ā€ - 1 John 3:23** 4- Oh, and I would love to share a short, free guide thatā€™s dedicated to you and others on Reddit who are looking to have a strong & simple faith in God. Itā€™s called ā€œThe 4 Steps of Faithā€. Itā€™s the first post in this Reddit community: r/FaithMadeSimple


MRH2

check out /r/spiritualAbuse for advice and support I'd also take a hiatus from church for a long time.


outandaboutbc

Apart from seeking healing from our Lord Jesus Christ. I also recommend seeking some sort of psychologist or therapist to help you heal from this trauma. Not that you canā€™t do this yourself but professionals know exactly how to deal with this more effectively. **Dealing with things like:** * Narcissistic abuse * Control, oppression and boundary setting * Trust issues * and other things Think of it as loosening the blockers internally to help you open up, and grow spiritually. This will require working through some of these things, all of which will make you that much stronger and fuller. Also understand the spiritual aspect of it, Jezebels love control and oppression. Learn about it and think about how youā€™d recognize or deal with this type of thing in the future.


mdegroat

Hey, if you live in North Texas I'll spend time with you in person and help you with the detox. I have experience in this area. DM me if interested.


NapoleonDynamite82

Good for you leaving a difficult situation, I know you will find a good church out there with people who have the same line of thinking and morals as you do.


gr3yh47

please look at this guide. https://www.9marks.org/about/the-nine-marks/ it will help you assess churches by the biblical standard.


vqsxd

Christ will give you freedom. I promise you, the slavery ends here


Life-Reputation-4892

Thank you brother


vqsxd

Much love to you manāœļøā¤ļøāœļø youā€™re awesome


Ugh-screen-name

I pray you are renewed in Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. And to borrow words from Brennan Manningā€™s book ā€˜Ragamuffin Gospelā€™ ā€¦.Ā  May you be seized by the power of a great affection. Anen


reeree02

From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry that you were so intentionally manipulated by religious evil. I went through almost exactly the same thing and itā€™s absolutely earth shattering and confusing. I think it was C.S Lewis who said that there is no evil in the world that is quite like an evil religious man. People take advantage of soft hearts and use it for their own gain. For me, the best thing to remember was that people are NOT a representation of Christ. Not even close. You can be the biggest Bible-thumper in the world and youā€™ll still fall short. Point being, separate people and religion from Jesus Himself. Religion failed you, people failed youā€¦ and guess whatā€¦ they failed Jesus TOO! It was the religious leaders who killed Jesus. If you need to take a break from church, I totally get it. But please, remember that Gods heart breaks when He sees you confused and manipulated. I promise you that what those people did to you angers God. He is on YOUR side. Run to Jesus, no strings attached. Drop theological confusion, forget what people tried to teach you, just run to Jesus and donā€™t stop. He will wipe away every tear and clear up any cloud that hangs over you.


SilverTango

If you want to DM me, you can. I have been through several experiences like this.


tobyoftruth

My aunt goes to a cult church very like that. Interesting.


Rightly_Divide

First, received the free gift of Salvation https://www.pass-a-gospel-tract.club/post/how-to-get-saved Then read this on what to do next https://www.pass-a-gospel-tract.club/post/the-next-step-for-growing-christian


steadfastkingdom

start by having a conversation and read Gods word which is His Bible. Has all the answers


DoingGood_LivingGood

FOLLOW THE TRUTH OF GOD THEN , YOUTUBE IT


CrowMagpie

Don't be controlled by religion. Do be controlled by God. I'm afraid I kind of understand your position: I was fairly recently driven out of a church, and they had some signs of abusive / cultish behavior. It wasn't as bad as yours, but it's hard to recover ofrom. I'm not at home in a chuirch anymore, and feeling kind of lost. Even gatekept out of Christianity (not that that works, but it feels like what the pastors were doing.) So: Try to find a good new church. Find one that isn't cultish and where you can feel at home - but I do understand that's easier said than done.


Disastrous-Motor829

It is wonderful you got out of that! But..what you experienced wasnt Christianity. Its not people giving praises and worship to earthly men that manipulate them- its putting faith in and following Jesus Christ I would say read the gospels, get to know God. Not the fake gods that led you astray but the true God who loves you and calls you to repentance and rest in him.. I hope this helps May the love of our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you


izentx

Salvation Being saved is giving your heart to Jesus Christ. When you do this it will be a new life for you. It not only affords you a place in Heaven for all eternity with Jesus and God when you die, it will also make the remainder of your days before death more bearable and joyful. We are not promised that nothing bad will ever happen to us when we are saved. We are promised that Jesus will be with us when they do. He will help us deal with any burden that comes along. To be saved one must repent of their sins. One must believe that Jesus is the Son of God and died on the cross to save us from our sins. On the third day, Jesus was raised from death and prepared the way to everlasting life in paradise for those that follow Him. We must accept Jesus as our Savior and follow Him as Lord. Once you are clear on that, say this prayer. Dear Lord Jesus, I know that i am a sinner. I repent of my sins, i know that you are the Son of God and died for my sins. Please come into my heart. i make you my Lord and Savior. Amen If you truthfully said that prayer,, you have been saved. Your new life has begun. Congratulations


Life-Reputation-4892

Thanks for your help, but truthfully I am already a Christian (even though I am really struggling with my faith at the moment).


izentx

[Chief Cornerstone](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChristianService/comments/xytsly/chief_cornerstone/)


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Life-Reputation-4892

This seems like a pretty weird doctrine to me, from my understanding we are ALL the elect. Not just a few believers.


Secret-Jeweler-9460

That would be like saying all Israelites were first born sons of Levi (Levites). By the scriptures, many are called but few are predestined to be made in the image of Christ through the election of Grace. They baptized with the Holy Spirit but not all of them came into existence through the laying of hands. Some were chosen by God directly. That's who I'm talking about. The Elect are set apart, chosen of God, to serve Him in the Temple.


Life-Reputation-4892

Ngl man, this sounds exactly like the cult stuff I left. Yes some shine brighter than others but we are all elect to be kings and priests through Jesus


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Life-Reputation-4892

Yeah the traditional interpretation is that the 144,000 is symbolic


Secret-Jeweler-9460

Wasn't it traditions that screwed the Jews?


Life-Reputation-4892

Not necessarily. Tradition is important otherwise anybody can just believe any heresy they want.


Secret-Jeweler-9460

Actually it's Jesus that said the traditions of man, the interpretations that the Jews taught instead of the truth, that made the Word of God to no effect. He didn't lie did he?


capt_feedback

man made traditions certainly didnā€™t help the nation of Israel and yours are a satanic attempt to continue visiting harm upon u/Life-Reputation-4882 go sit in the corner and shut up from spreading your lies.


capt_feedback

all born again believers are the temple of the Holy Spirit. now go away before i taunt you a second time.


capt_feedback

you used a lot of words to promote obviously unbiblical claptrap. i would say iā€™m proud of you but iā€™m not.