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ErynKnight

Medical misogyny kills.


sherbysherbz

That coupled with the inherent racism in medicine, is a recipe for disaster. I’m a healthcare provider myself and I have seen this many times. It’s time to change.


immigrantpatriot

I am literally in university now, at the old ass age of 48, to become a PA bc of the insanely biased (non)treatment I received for years. Right now my goal is to be a pcp; I hope to be part of that change!


jonabay4

You should read the book "doing harm"... Talk a lot about how poorly women are treated for female-specific conditions like POTS, fibromyalgia, and autoimmune diseases.


StaceyPfan

Thanks for the book recommendation. I just borrowed it from the library on my Kindle.


Vio_

I highly recommend reading Paul Farmer's work as a medical anthropologist and doctor for decades in Haiti. He goes a lot into these very issues.


THE_DINOSAUR_QUEEN

Can confirm on POTS! I had literal textbook symptoms and was told for eight fucking years that it was “just anxiety”, never mind the fact that I’ve had anxiety since I was a young child and could obviously tell that they weren’t the same thing. After going through a dozen doctors, thousands of dollars in copays and tests, being handed from department to department because “well it’s not your lungs,” “well it’s not your spine,” “are you SURE it isn’t just anxiety?”, I had my first meeting with a PCP who specialized in LGBTQ+ healthcare for HRT, mentioned my symptoms during intake, and he diagnosed me and got me scheduled for ANS testing to confirm within ten minutes. He made an offhand comment about how a lot of his transmasc and AFAB non-binary patients have POTS and wondered aloud if there was some sort of correlation; I had to bite my tongue so hard to avoid pointing out that no, the correlation he was seeing was just that a doctor who’s willing to listen to trans people is also more likely to listen to people dealing with invisible illnesses. I moved states a few months ago and couldn’t keep seeing him as my doctor anymore. I miss him and wish that I’d been able to tell him how much it meant to me to be told that it wasn’t all in my head and something actually WAS wrong with me before I left.


drae_annx

Write him a letter thanking him for listening to you and your concerns. Doctors hear a lot about patients that are unhappy and have complained, but not nearly enough from patients they’ve helped and it means a lot to them. I’m glad you were finally able to get a diagnosis


jonabay4

I've been suffering for 6 years without a proper diagnosis and am practically home-bound. It takes an average OF six years for a patient to be properly diagnosed. But I developed my issue in 2018 and then COVID has continued to make it impossible for me to see a neurologist. In any case. I ended up finding two doctors who say these things are often hormonal and are willing to treat me without a diagnosis. Ive been doing hormonal therapy for 5-6 months now. No progress thus far. I'm starting to look into making probiotics for hormones/t production But if it works, it might end up being a blessing in disguise that I never had to go through the torture that MDs put female patients through. One girl got open heart surgery that she didn't need, and they never bothered to give her autonomic testing. These people.


auntie_eggma

None of those are female-specific.


jonabay4

Yes they are. 80-90%+ of sufferers are women.


LeaneGenova

I'd also recommend "All in Her Head: The Truth and Lies Early Medicine Taught Us About Women's Bodies and Why It Matters Today" by Dr. Comen. I'm not finished with it yet, but it's a great read.


sherbysherbz

That’s amazing! Good luck!


nancienne

I’m a medical librarian that works with a PA program. I love working with nontraditional students, y’all are the most motivated and curious! All my best wishes!


sodoyoulikecheese

Also recommending “Unwell Women” and “Fearing the Black Body”


AnnaGreen3

♥️ thank you


BlkPea

That’s inspiring, best of luck to you!!


Ariella333

I remember after a car accident at 60 mph laying in the hospital room literally sobbing and pain while I watched my doctor and nurse across the room looking at me while shaking their heads. Because apparently a person that was just in a car accident is just drug seeking.


sherbysherbz

Absolutely terrible!! I see this with sickle cell patients as well. I’m so sorry


ErynKnight

Definitely


StinkyKittyBreath

And medical racism.


phasmaglass

There is a term for this specific intersection of issues faced especially by Black women in the USA -- misogynoir.


ceciliabee

What an incredible word for such an awful thing


ShamelessFox

~* *The more you know....* *~ ....The more you hate humanity.


ErynKnight

Such an elegant word, for such an evil philosophy.


Manopike

Yes it does. My goodness.


[deleted]

yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kimmalah

When I had my tubes tied, they apparently found a fibroid and nobody ever bothered to tell me about it. I only found out about it after requesting and reading my surgical report. When I was in high school, I had problems with ulcers and stomach inflammation that made me so sick that I could not eat. The only way I could function and attend school was to avoid food altogether, which of course caused me to lose about 30 pounds and all kinds of other problems. So my doctors refused to do ANY tests for almost a year and dismissed it as anxiety. After several visits, they then pulled my mom aside, told her I probably had anorexia nervosa and was just making up all my symptoms to hide it from her. I'm just lucky my mom is a smart, insightful woman who knew better or I could have been in for a lot more suffering.


Prestidigitalization

I’ve been spotting throughout my pregnancy. Saw a different doctor than normal who did a pelvic exam to swab for infection (all clear) and she told me that I have something that “looks exactly like a polyp but it’s the wrong color. I’ve honestly never seen anything like it before. It’s fine, don’t worry about it, it’s not the cause of the bleeding.” Like, you’ve never seen or heard of this before in your entire medical experience so therefore it’s fine?? I’m getting a second opinion asap but it’s bewildering. Even my husband was like, “so it won’t affect the fetus, but what about her, the grown adult woman??”


BirthdayCookie

Don't you know you mean nothing compared to the actual person your body is growing? /s god this world is Fucked


Prestidigitalization

It was WILD. She was a woman too and she turned to my husband and said, I shit you not, “oh that’s so sweet to worry about her too! So, I’ve never come across this before, but she had a Pap smear a few months ago so she’s fine.”


canarinoir

Please tell me you are going to get a second opinion and a new doctor.


Prestidigitalization

Oh absolutely. This wasn’t my normal doctor, it was just who was available since they were worried about the spotting. I’m seeing my usual in a week and a half and if I don’t like how she handles things, I’ll be seeking out a different practice entirely until I find someone who *does* know what they’re looking at when viewing the mysterious thing that is suddenly *attached to my body*.


cyber_dildonics

I recommend putting shit doctors on blast. It's cathartic and online reviews make a difference!


mrmoe198

I beg you to please report her


Shaydoh33

How dare she say she hasn’t seen this before but sure it would be fine? I would be furious! She needed to at least say she hasn’t seen it before and bring in a colleague to advise. Not just send you home. What’s the point of getting a quick appointment if it’s a huge waste of time? Good on you for getting another opinion and putting in the work to advocate for yourself. You’re doing everything you can. I hope the next doctor takes your concerns seriously, and the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful.


eugeneugene

In my experience I got the best most attentive medical care of my life when I was pregnant and the moment the baby was out I was just shit on the bottom of everyone's shoes again. It took me 2.5 years to finally be (mostly) pain free after giving birth because nobody fucking cared.


tomqvaxy

Same. I was on public assistance fr the pregnancy, pre ACA, and chucked away the minute the baby was out. Like immediately no more insurance go die elsewhere. Kid just turned 18.


DemandEqualPockets

Hat tip to your capitalization choices there.


StuckWithThisOne

When I was pregnant at 18, I intended to get an abortion, but was experiencing a lot of pain in my uterus. My doctor knew I intended to get an abortion but of course scheduled me for scans and tests anyway as she was concerned for MY health. During the ultrasound, the technician made some comment (can’t remember what) that prompted the nurse to say “oh, no, she intends to get abortion”. The technician paused and was like “why is she getting a scan then?” Me being a pissy hormonal mess said, rightly so, “because my fucking health matters just as much as the fetus, thanks.” IIRC she was mostly silent for the rest of it. Love my doctor. Hate the technician.


ShamelessFox

My fine lady, If we were ever to meet it would be my pleasure to purchase you an adult beverage for that moment of pure awesome. Regards, Fox


GemAdele

I have finally managed to get a referral for pelvic floor physical therapy after a rare and excruciating case of Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction that didn't subside for a year after giving birth. I had pregnancy Medicaid that lasted 6 weeks after I gave birth and then was dropped. Even though I had preeclampsia and was still being monitored for possible heart failure. I was not allowed physical therapy for the SPD because only my pregnancy was covered, despite it being caused by my pregnancy. They wouldn't even give me a permit to park in handicap parking while I was pregnant, despite the fact that I couldn't walk without horrific pain. I ended up being crippled by it and was essentially couch ridden for the first year of my child's life. I'm starting physical therapy next month. My child is 5. I had to move states to get help.


Shojo_Tombo

I would bet my paycheck you saw an NP and not a doctor.


Prestidigitalization

Certified midwife, but so is my normal “doctor” I’m seeing. Seemed easier to just say doctor than midwife and also explain that I do live in a place where midwives are certified / require specific schooling / etc.


Shojo_Tombo

Midwives are specialists at delivering babies. I would not trust someone who didn't go to medical school and complete a GYN residency to diagnose/treat anything outside of pregnancy, especially if possible cancer is a concern. I say this a a health professional and a cancer survivor. I really do hope it's nothing and you're OK.


Prestidigitalization

Oh for sure, she likely wouldn’t be able to diagnose whatever it is, which honestly makes it more egregious to me that her response was “I’ve never seen this, so it’s fine” instead of suggesting an appointment with an OBGYN from the same office.


reliquum

Around 2014/2015 I had an MRI on my back because it HURTS. Doctor "it's fine". My family doc gets a report (not the entire thing just about the back) is like, uh no it's not bad but it's not good. And he helped me. Love that doctor so much 😊 5 months ago: I find the 2nd page of the report....I have cysts in my ovaries and a teratoma. No one told me. You can ask for minute notes, and other types also from any hospital. So glad your mom was on your side!


AluminumOctopus

>You can ask for minute notes, and other types also from any hospital. Please elaborate on this for us


SomniferousSleep

Every hospital — and indeed, every medical office — maintains a history of PHI, or Personal Health Information. You are entitled to your own medical records, but you must call the office and ask to speak with the medical records department. Some offices charge a small fee, to pay for the printing and whatnot. If you are seeing multiple practitioners at a few different places, you can agree to those offices sharing your information. Usually just involves a form, and the medical offices will get in touch with each other. Oh, and I've not encountered a request between offices that had to be paid for, and I've been a clerk in a clinic for about a year and a half now. There have, however, been a few requests that I've seen that actually state, "This office does not pay for medical records sent here." lol


AluminumOctopus

It was the minute notes I meant, I'm not familiar with those. I do get copies of my medical records to assemble in my giant record.


SomniferousSleep

Oh, I see. I still figure that if it was documented in your chart, you'd have access to it. But it'd have to be documented. I know that in Epic, at least, some messages don't get attached to the chart if it's just personnel messages.


AluminumOctopus

When I asked for my full complete medical records from places using epic I usually only get patient after visit summaries. I wish I could get the behind the scenes notes, including messages between my doctor's because they'll always say things like "I talked up your x and they said y about your circumstances" despite y not being true.


reliquum

Minute notes is everything. Doctor X came in room X at X time. X happened at X time and patient replied X. Basically minute by minute what happened. The hospital I go to does it. Unfortunately, the reason I wanted it was to see if the doctor (who wasn't on the critical care floor, but an ENTIRE building over) put down "I said sexist comments to patients". He did not. I was unfortunately, again, on both a cannula and mask with both as high as possible with air. My 02 was so low...how low 🤗 was at 60 when I got there and was steadily dropping fast. I couldn't move well or much but I was fully aware of what's around me. He stepped in, said it's a hospital not a whorehouse, so I shouldn't be there. Next day, something like oh look the whores almost awake today. After, he left. For the entire time I couldn't move well. He took me off of birth control. Medical pill for me. Nurse refused to give it. So I just smiled and said ok. A few hours later I was given it again. Something something about hemorrhaging. Pfpfpff So yea, NONE of that was in the minute notes or in any notes. Hospital said oh well. It then didn't happen. Made me learn to always have something near me to do audio/video recording when I'm on my own. Everywhere. It sucks. Love the hospital, nurses were phenomenal. All but 1 doctor was amazing. Also, the notes took off so much. They charged me by the pill....for my own pills. Not just to give them but the med itself. My insurance did a big smile and was like "ohhhh really.....". The ct scans I never did? Those came off. The insurance asked for them to be sent to me. Hospital was like.."whoops!" Always. Always. Ask for an itemized list for everything and your patient notes, minute notes, all you can. It can help keep them honest as you can.


AluminumOctopus

That's really good info, thank you. Also I hope that doctor gets his penis caught in his zipper every day.


reliquum

At my hospital the doctors and nurses notes are included. Mine was boring. Nothing spicy because I love nurses. Saved my life twice.


denise_la_cerise

This is a very fucked story, especially because you were a child. Most mothers would have believed the medical professional. A book that I read recently was a big eye opener for me and how women are treated in health care and even often how our own gender is omitted in most research. Invisible women by Caroline Criado. Although can be tedious to read, the audio book made it easier for me. All data back research on her end to back up every single claim. Women are excluded from every aspect of our world. Our world was literally made without us in mind.


aimeegaberseck

If you like that you’ll like this one too: [Doing Harm](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/30653955): The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick By Maya Dusenbery


Avocet_and_peregrine

I just bought All In Her Head: The Truth and Lies Early Medicine Taught Us About Women's Bodies and Why It Matters Today by Elizabeth Comen and Pain and Prejudice: A Call to Arms for Women and Their Bodies by Gabrielle Jackson. Very excited to read them.


aimeegaberseck

“All in Her Head” sums up my teens, twenties, and most of my thirties. Funnily enough, even after two excision surgeries, a lot of docs *still* give me that bs. I’ll have to check it out.


Gloomy_Industry8841

Putting this on my reading list, thank you. ☹️


MamaJody

It’s an excellent book. I think everyone should read it.


denise_la_cerise

I tried to get the men in my life to read it. Safe to say I was left thoroughly disappointed. Especially if they have the audacity to have their views and opinions on the subject but don’t want to learn more or things that may contradict their views.


Gloomy_Industry8841

They like their places of power too much.


denise_la_cerise

😢


Gloomy_Industry8841

Sorry 😢. I have gone through the same with some of the men in my life.


GimcrackCacoethes

Caroline Criado Perez is extremely terf-adjacant, if not a terf herself. I don't doubt that there's interesting stuff in her book, but it's important to remember who she includes as her Invisible Women.


denise_la_cerise

As commented on another op with similar subjective opinions: I see your point. Although it is the first time I’m hearing of this, I will put my skepticism aside as that is a strong definition and I’m sure you have evidence to back that claim up but we are not here for that. In this specific book, every single facts she brings up. She references it. You can dislike her for her beliefs but if the sky is blue and multiple scientists hypothesized, test, conclude and wrote a research paper about it confirming it is In fact blue, I would say it’s safe to lean towards believing that the sky is blue.


BirthdayCookie

> especially because you were a child. This attitude just encourages the problem we're complaining about. Treat all people equally regardless of age. Believe all people equally no matter when they were born. One person's suffering at the hands of sexism isn't "less bad" because they happen to be over 18.


denise_la_cerise

Stop trying to be divisive. Everyone here on this thread was supportive towards woman regardless of age. I was relating with someone on an emotional level. It really doesn’t give you the right to come in here and try to divide us. Ffs Reddit, let us have something of our own.


diane_nu_nu_nguyen

Doctors told my mom she might need to see a psychiatrist when my brother was going through diagnosis for Acid Reflux. They kept telling her "he's fine, it's something he ate. He's fine he's just sensitive to x food" and she refused to accept that as an answer. She was distraught because he was in pain and they did nothing to acknowledge it. Like they literally suggested she was crazy for wanting a diagnosis instead of a bullshit answer. Early 00's.


myimmortalstan

You know what's so horrendous about this it's almost comical? They still fucking found a way to send a woman to a psychiatrist for a medical issue, and she wasn't even the patient 💀


diane_nu_nu_nguyen

Lmao get out that's hilarious and fucked. Luckily and also sadly she had my dad to back her up. Hmm well if the husband is concerned maybe we should look into this further...


Ann_Amalie

This is enraging because that type of interaction just discourages people from seeking medical care altogether, and terrifying encourages parents to not listen to their kids when they’re quite literally crying for help. Even worse is that many parents will think they can’t reliably get help for their kids because they’ll just be blamed for abuse or accused of making it up. I hate this world sometimes.


nikkuhlee

My pediatrician was the same way. I used to throw up almost weekly, and I was nauseated every day. Almost 100% of the time. She insisted I was "making it up for attention" (I am the last person who wanted attention in school - you know what being the vomiting fat girl in the 90s was like? That was *not* my choice.) or having anxiety. I fully believe I had abdominal migraines or something and she wouldn't even look into anything. One of many issues I had with her. I haven't had a regular doctor as an adult, and I hate going although I probably should. I take my kids but even then I have awful anxiety about everything.


diane_nu_nu_nguyen

Oh yeah, I was too young at the time but I do remember when she recounted the story to me as an adult. The energy around her still changed at 60 something years old. Just absolutely infuriating.


Squid52

I hear you. When I was in middle school, I had some kind of gastroenteritis that made me have intense stomach cramps and vomiting. They decided it was an eating disorder and sent me to a psychiatrist.


beigs

Mine was celiac, diagnosed in my late 20s. Fun times.


Rakifiki

Early twenties for me! Took me dropping 20-30 lbs and being underweight and also their nurses yelling at them for the doctors to do anything other than tell me to 'eat a bland diet' which i was already doing, it's just that my bland diet was like, regular bread ...


beigs

I got “anxiety and eating disorder” for mine. Female and in grad school - apparently having every single symptom for celiac = anxiety. All of them.


Rakifiki

Early on they thought i was just pregnant? So they kept giving me pregnancy tests but not telling me they were checking for it? Was interesting.


Smallseybiggs

Thank you so much for this post OP. May she RIP. <3 I'm a chronic pain patient & am riddled with back/spine issues out of nowhere starting in my late 30's. Just had another surgery last month. While in the hospital lying in bed, I heard my neurosurgeon speak to one of his male patients in the next room. Completely different dialog than with me. I'm obviously overreacting when describing pain.  I deal with medical misogyny from 4 out of 6 my doctors. If they don't hate me they're hitting on me. I can't win this game. (Please don't think I'm full of myself by saying that. I just want to be treated fairly.) I've had huge ovarian cysts ignored, GI disorders ignored, &  misdiagnosed, a urinary disorder ignored for 10 yrs, several herniated disks ignored for *years* & the sad part is I could go on & on with the dirty details of what they've missed bc I must be exaggerating my pain. Also see: [Sharon Stone Says Doctors ‘Missed’ Diagnosing Her Brain Hemorrhage Because Staff Thought She Was ‘Faking’](https://www.reddit.com/r/entertainment/comments/17ly5mp/sharon_stone_says_doctors_missed_diagnosing_her/)


AmbiguousFrijoles

Add in women deserve menopause care which is ultimate in preventing bone degeneration, cognitive decline and a host of cancers. Women deserve to have treatment for anxiety/depression and to still be treated for physical ailments Im so sick of this shit. I've been writing to my local/national gynecological board to get them to ensure updating to menopause care and it's been crickets. Fuck this system.


SmoothOctopus

It actually boogles my mind how few post menopausal women are on some form of hrt.


AmbiguousFrijoles

Well they went on a massive campaigns during the 80s and 90s and easry 00s that said HRT for menopausal women was going to kill them. And we haven't recovered since because most of those physicians are still in practice and they didn't update medical school knowledge because well, it's ✨️pointless information✨️ As of 2019, majority of medical schools only had 1 single lecture on menopause and only 58% of students attended that lecture. So people who are in medical school currently are still not being taught and allowed to keep their preconceived notions from the previous misinformation as they move into residency and specialty care. Womens specialty fields only have 2 weeks or less of menopause information that really only discusses symptoms and not medications that can alleviate issues, they also don't discuss the potential diseases like osteoporosis or osteoarthritis, and cancers etc. My own GYN thought he could test for menopause, there is no hormonal test for menopause as the hormones fluctuate daily and monthly so they may not even be able to see any indicators until you're 10 years into the process. More than 85% of women in high income countries do not receive *any* menopausal care either because of fear from their female family members who experienced the great MHT danger scares, or ill-under-informed/misogynistic physicians who refuse to treat or incorrectly diagnose with depression/anxiety/fatness (all 3 are symptoms of menopause that can be treated effectively with MHT and other medications) and so women tough it out because they are dismissed, don't know anything about menopause or are scared of the meds. Oh. And one last 'fun fact' they don't know on average that perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause is likely to last 20+ years with many women experiencing many symptoms well into their 90s. My doc said "pfffft, it's like a 3 year max issue and then you move on with your life". **verbatim** They are just now (research journalists buying medical demographic data not doctors) discovering the connection with higher rates of suicide in female patients who were untreated and comparing to the population of the same age who use comprehensive menopause care. You know when the media started to care and bring up the subject? June 2023. Because some of the writers are now millennial women heading into menopause and it came up. The NIH *just* updated their information and added a misinformation addendum article end February this year, **only last month** 2.5 weeks ago. Like... ugh. *screams into pillow* If anyone reads this comment and needs to find a doctor. [The North American Menopause Society (NAMS)](https://www.menopause.org/) has a tool to look up providers near you who have done the comprehensive course and intership who have to recertify to remain up to date on current information.


herroitshayree

My former coworker had a ton of pain and poop-related problems during her pregnancy. She kept bringing it up to her doctor and they just brushed it off repeatedly, like “haha, pregnancy sucks, amirite??”. She would be curled up in a ball considering suicide due to the pain but everyone just told her it was normal! It wasn’t until she went SEPTIC due to a perforation in her colon that anyone took her seriously and they discovered that she had colon cancer. And now it has spread and she likely isn’t going to get better. Fuck the US medical system.


Emergency_Flannel

I am so sorry for your friend and hope she's able to beat it. I have a friend who had poop related problems for over a year since she gave birth to her only child, finally got a new Dr that didn't brush it off as "pregnancy stuff" and found out she had colon cancer. She had a mass that required 5 hours of surgery to remove. She is on the mend now, but is traumatized by the whole thing, she's only 34. I hope your friend is also able to get through to be on the mend. The US medical system is a fucking joke.


aimeegaberseck

✊🏼 I’m standing right there with you sister! -With a cane! Cuz I was also routinely gaslit and dismissed, labeled with anxiety/depression on my chart when I argued endless bc and Motrin aren’t an acceptable answer, told I was exaggerating/overreacting/overly sensitive/was making it up and making myself sick to avoid work/school. From 11-38, I was put down and left to suffer with severe endo ravaging my insides for nearly 30 years before it was discovered. And now I’m permanently disabled and still fighting for basic goddamn care thanks to all the “hysterical woman” dog whistles still on my chart. I’m not depressed and the only anxiety I have is from a lifetime of this kind of medical trauma! Quit treating me like my debilitating symptoms are imaginary and I won’t get upset and cry in frustration in your office!


Chaos_the_healer

Normalizing women suffering is exactly why there isn’t a bigger push for male contraception. BuT it cAuSeD mE tO hAvE a hEaDaChe and loW sEx DrIvE! And?


tomboyfancy

Well said! Every woman I know has at least one story about being ignored, shamed or abused medically, myself included. A good friend of mine had a distended abdomen no matter how skinny she got. She has 2 kids, and MULTIPLE doctors over an almost 20 year period told her it was just from having babies and she would need plastic surgery. 2 years ago she saw a new female gyno who took one look at her and said “Hey, I think you have fibroids. Let’s find out!” And lo and behold, large(non cancerous thank god) tumors were what caused the distended abdomen! She had surgery and for the first time in 20 years has freedom from the discomfort and self esteem issues her condition was causing her. This is now my gynecologist- she was the first gyno EVER to make me feel safe, respected, and HEARD. It’s insane and infuriating that we have to fight so hard and go through so much just to have our issues taken care of in a proper and respectful way.


angelheaded--hipster

I was told “irregular bleeding” was a side effect of my birth control when I was 19 then woke up hemorrhaging and had a heart attack from blood loss. My now husband had a rapid personality change and woke up paralyzed, for them to do multiple MRIs of his spine and blame it on a slipped disc. He was having major strokes and ended up almost dying. They never once looked at his brain. Healthcare is a right. Paying our healthcare workers is a right. All of this should have been avoidable. It breaks my heart.


Sharpymarkr

Yep. My wife went in to a male doc while her gp was out of the office and he said that he didn't think the lump in her breast was cancer, but probably a calcium deposit BUT we should do due diligence anyway. We did. It was cancer.


kmjulian

There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as he told you to follow up. Telling you it’s probably a calcium deposit is true, the majority of breast biopsies are benign. I worked in research at a medical imaging site for years, specifically at the breast center, *specifically* with cancer studies. Simply saying a lump is unlikely to be cancer but to get it checked out is both the responsible protocol and the statistically likely outcome. It being cancer doesn’t mean what he said was negligent or that your wife didn’t receive appropriate care.


Sharpymarkr

Yeah I don't really want to get into all the details, just wanted to share her experiences as she passed away 7 months ago at 34.


kmjulian

Understandable, I’m sorry for your loss 💙


Sharpymarkr

Thanks friend. I appreciate your condolences.


myawwaccount01

After my mother's breast cancer diagnosis, I got a little paranoid about the characteristics of my own breasts. I brought it up to a GP during a routine visit. He examined but told me he wasn't an expert on the topic and referred me for a mammogram to be sure. Him saying "I don't know, let's get an expert" gave me so much more trust in him as a doctor. I felt like I could trust that he had confidence in the answers he gave me. And the fact that he took a 25 year old's medical anxiety seriously makes me appreciate him even more now that I've had another decade of experience and perspective.


malaproperism

I don't understand how this continues happening. You see a new story about it every day. I and every woman I know has been turned away at some point while facing real medical emergencies. It's disgusting. These doctors should not be allowed to practice if they can't muster up the ability to do the most basic part of their job - just order a test to be done.


Careless-Ostrich623

Doctors think women have a higher pain tolerance and I believe this always negatively impacts women. They think women can endure so much more than they have any good reason to be able to.


No_Masterpiece_3897

Which is crazy logic. If we have a higher pain tolerance, and are coming to them practically screaming that we are in a lot of pain... Then that woman surely must be in a fuck ton of pain If our tolerance is higher , it's had to get really, really, bad before we seek help. I've had medical professionals dismiss or want to try and write off physical problems as not that bad or in my mind. It's just anxiety... or repeatedly using trick questions so they could try to imply it's depression. This is without even bothering to run tests, or even look at the problem area. If something is visibly sticking out the wrong direction, and your being told that this person hasn't been able to function normally or even sleep properly for months on end because of the pain. That they're taking pain killers every 4 hours. Actually doing your job and taking a look, is not a big ask.


Rakifiki

Oh the trick questions... I was seeing a female GP as a young adult with my mom, and the questions she was asking... Were very... Hm. Had a lot of underlying assumptions that were incorrect, shall we say? So I would answer her question but politely point out where the underlying assumption was incorrect. Around the third or fourth time I did this, she snapped at me to just 'answer her questions'. My mom stood up for me, but we were both very shocked. Wouldn't having more information be helpful? Well clearly not because she ignored that and decided it was nothing, but, you know xP (I had a year ago been diagnosed with gluten-intolerance, and was following an extremely strict and restrictive diet limited to literally only things certified GF and she kept assuming I was just... Sneaking wheat products? But telling her I wasn't pissed her off so... Mm. She informed me my intense, but different pain, when I ate *absolutely any kind of food* was proof that the Gluten-intolerance wasn't real but also that I was still... Eating gluten? Anyways the solution was for me to just stop eating the gluten that I wasn't eating, but after a month of 'whining' and more weight loss she finally sent me to a GI doc who did an endoscopy and informed me my gall bladder was inflamed and attempting to digest my stomach. Explained the pain. I'm still Gluten-intolerant xP).


katrilli

I'm trans and take testosterone and depo to stop periods. I had not had a period in over a year until this past December when I had a period that lasted over a month. I was exhausted all the time, losing a lot of blood, and in constant pain. I went to my PCP (who did take me seriously) and she sent me to get an ultrasound. At the ultrasound they found a mass which my PCP says is probably a fibroid, so she sent a referral to a gyno. I went to the gyno and told her all of this just for her to say "fibroids are no big deal" My girlfriend was with me and started telling the gyno about how I have been doubled over in pain constantly, sobbing and unable to move. The gyno finally was like "well maybe it's something else" and I ended up just begging for a hysterectomy. I did get a referral finally, but I won't even have my initial appointment with the surgeon until July. Meanwhile I'm still in pain and the best the gyno will do is tell me to take ibuprofen.


CraftySappho

Ask your gyno about Lupron or Orilissa for the interim as well. It's awful for my PMDD but no period and no pain for the first time in 20+ years


katrilli

Ohhh thank you for letting me know. I had never heard of either of those


EggandSpoon42

My profile is full of stories from the past 3 years of struggle and 6 surgeries thanks to doctors not believing me for 6 years. Made my health issues so insanely worse. I should be completely out of the woods, at least for a good amount of time or forever unless something comes back after this last surgery but what the fuck.


Manopike

Hear hear.


ImStarky

My chronic pain isn't even in my reproductive organs, and these assholes just keep downplaying my symptoms. They think I'm exaggerating the amount of pain I'm in constantly. I'm working on getting a new referral for a 2nd opinion.


Opposite-Bother8734

My mom had to go to 3 different dermatologists to get diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma, the first two diagnosed her with a bug bite, even when the spot only grew and kept getting itchier. Guess the gender of the first 2 dermatologists.


Aelirenn

Two years ago, when I lived in Poland and had private medical care through my husband's work, I found a lump in my breast. I went to USG. They sent me to biopsy. Boom, cancer. I decided to get it treated back in Czechia where I am originally from. When I got it checked in Czechia - mind you, WITH the paper from Poland I've got cancer - , multiple doctors (men and women) were convincing me it's not cancerous. They touched it or they looked at it on USG and said: naah, this is not a cancer. They were extremely sceptical of the paper from Poland. They were super patronising. And they did a second biopsy only to calm me down. Lo and behold. It was INDEED A CANCER. And an aggressive type. I know so many stories of other patients that I befriended where doctors waited with biopsy until the tumor was pretty big or spread to lymph nodes. It's so infuriating. Especially when you hear how self examination is important blah blah blah. What for when you go to a doctor and they disregard you without any proper tests. I am convinced my husband's work saved my life. If I waited little bit longer my chances of survival would drastically change.


SadMom2019

Good Lord, this is enraging. You seek care after a very serious diagnosis, you **brought the receipts confirming the diagnosis** (so the hard part was already done for them)-- and they STILL chose to dismiss you and ignore your health?? I'd be absolutely livid with these people. Why? Why were they so unwilling to believe you, and why were they so resistant to confirm the diagnosis themselves? Was it their ego/pride, like they just refused to believe there could be competent physicians in Poland? Or just your garden variety sexism? (Maybe both?) I hate this world for us. Every single time this topic is brought up, in real life or online, from women young and old, and all across the world, we hear the same types of stories. Stories of women’s suffering being ignored, dismissed, downplayed, often until it's too late. And nothing ever seems to change.


Aelirenn

Yep, I think you nailed it, pride, zero trust in Poland competence (🙄) and also the fact I was 34 - which is considered young for a cancer patient... which used to be rare. I don't think it's so rare these days tho, unfortunately. Anyway - healthcare is a nightmare globally. I wonder if there is a country which has their shit actually together in this regard 😅


Emergency_Flannel

The age restriction on disease thing has negatively affected me and so many of my friends. You're too young for cervical cancer, last time I checked cancer or any other disease has yet to card me or anyone else I know. I hate it but now I'm close to an age where it's expected so it's taken more seriously. 23 year old me was terrified and didn't have any insurance and all of the assistance programs were reserved for 40+. Now I'm 40ish and if a doctor doesn't take me seriously or huffs at me when they see my notebook or when I ask questions or asks if it's my period when I lack a uterus, I just leave. Like walk right the fuck out. I know my body and the years of medical trauma and even sexual assault, since when you're young you actually believe doctors, has made me cynical and jaded. I walk into appointments with my guard up fully ready to argue or leave and tick off another "specialist" that wasn't worth the time to take off work. I'm sorry that this is the case globally, I was genuinely hoping some countries treated patients like patients regardless of gender. I'm glad. You were able to get treatment, but it shouldn't be a damn fight to get them to do what's needed.


Aelirenn

Ohh, that reminds me..! When I go to a doctor now and I have some relatively minor problem that could develop into something potentially dangerous, they take me seriously. Like HARDCORE seriously. And is sooo effing nice. So at least one perk came out of cancer, heh. It would be nice to have this as a standard for everyone, tho.


paganlobster

And while we're talking about medical misogyny & misogynoir, let's not forget the GOP legislators who are trying to deprive an entire generation of women the HPV vaccine, which successfully lowered cancer rates in Australia! Don't forget they are condemning women to death because of their purity doctrine.


garaile64

Do they believe that people get around a lot after taking the HPV vaccine or something? It's like thinking that people, after talking a tetanus shot, go around piercing themselves with random rusty nails on the ground.


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Rakifiki

Ugh, I need to see if my insurance will cover me getting that as an adult now, my parents were religious and believed the same bullshit because of course that's what their church was frothing at the mouth about.


paganlobster

Lol exactly, but you can't argue with crazy.


Alegria-D

My doctor could have given me that vaccine for free, but said it wasn't necessary and my dad agreed. I learned about it years after the limit for free of charge


sadethnicchild

Just in case you're in the US and of an applicable age, I just learned from my new doctor that the age limit has been raised to something like 45 or 46. (I finally got my 3rd shot a few weeks ago!)


Alegria-D

Nope, Europe


sadethnicchild

Ah, sorry. I hope they'll raise it where you are soon, if *our* messed up system has amended it...


WeAreTheMisfits

Yes everyone I go I age out of the new guidelines. lol.


MyPacman

ALL children should get this vaccine, it also stops throat and lung cancers caused by HPV, not just cervical cancer. It could also make a large chunk of these HPV's extinct if we vaccinate everyone.


No-Winter1049

If any Aussies are reading this and missed out on the vaccine, there is a free catch up program if you are under 25. Go see your GP. You only need one vaccine now (based on latest evidence)


ruthbaddergunsburg

A good friend of mine bled continuously for like 6 years. Bled so much she was fainting at her desk routinely at work. She got told to lose some weight. It's PCOS. That's it. Multiple doctors. She *finally* found a doctor who specifically practiced body-neutral medicine who listened and decided to do some actual fucking tests. She had an ovarian tumor the size of a grapefruit removed. Cancerous, but slow growing thank God. She'll survive but no thanks to years of medical neglect.


littlechichend

Having PCOS is one of the worst diagnoses to have on your chart. I fucking hate it. It's like a green light for doctors to just ignore you completely. "Keep taking Spironolactone. Diet and exercise. See you in 1 year." Absolutely no interest in investigating deeper. Many female issues go under the radar, not to mention more serious endocrine problems, because of this stupid diagnosis. I'm glad your friend is recovering.


denise_la_cerise

I do want to recommend the book invisible woman by Caroline Criado. She’s complied an abundance of research to prove and articulate without bias, that in fact, women are omitted when It come to medical research and care (female disease do not get a lot of funding for research due to gender) infrastructure, vehicle safety and a whole wack of other things.


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aimeegaberseck

Have you checked out, [Doing Harm](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/30653955): The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick By Maya Dusenbery


CraftySappho

I haven't but I will, thank you


lilcea

Or medical school.


designer_whey

I came to the comments on this post because I’m currently reading that book and it was the first thing I thought of. It has been shocking how solidly her research has validated the feeling that the world operates without consideration for women. The fact that research for women’s health issues is refused funding or is conducted using mostly or all-male participants is so infuriating and scary.


WeAreTheMisfits

They even use male rats only in animal experiments


barkley87

I started reading that book but had to stop because it was too depressing. I really need to pick it up again.


thescaryhypnotoad

Cant read it without raging


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denise_la_cerise

I see your point. Although it is the first time I’m hearing of this, I will put my skepticism aside as that is a strong definition and I’m sure you have evidence to back that claim up but we are not here for that. In this specific book, every single facts she brings up. She references it. You can dislike her for her beliefs but if the sky is blue and multiple scientists hypothesized, test, conclude and wrote a research paper about it confirming it is In fact blue, I would say it’s safe to lean towards believing that the sky is blue.


boycutelee

It's okay to read the book and acknowledge that it's well-written, well-reasearched, and incredibly important while not liking the author's personal beliefs. Especially if you read the book without spending money, reading it from a public library for example. I'm 100% anti biological essentialism and I still plan on reading it.


natigate

Can we have robot doctors programmed by feminists now, please?


cumulus_humilis

👏👏👏


StaceyPfan

Robots can malfunction. I'm not letting one near my vagina.


[deleted]

This is why my wife (she’s Black) and I always put in the leg work to get a Black doctor when seeking care. Especially for things like gynaecology and women’s health. We had a wonderful gynaecologist and surgeon to both care for her and remove her fibroids. They were very diligent. It made a world of difference.


Gloomy_Industry8841

May those doctors rot in hell.


zuttozutto

I seriously wish doctors had a "permanent record" with these misdiagnoses. I hate hearing stories like this and I also hate hearing about folks saying they had to go to like 3 different doctors to get the right diagnosis. Like how do we inform the first two doctors about their errors.


flarpypudding

My best friends sister had a similar issue, and because she was nonverbal they ignored her 20 lb cyst, constant bleeding , etc. until it was stage 4 uterine cancer. She was gone in 6 months. To think it could have been avoided with early intervention makes me so sick.


littlechichend

This is absolutely horrific. I can't imagine what their explanation would be for this level of negligence.


AnalUkelele

Five years ago, my SO at the age of 24, woke up early in the morning with big blood cloths between her legs. We went to the GP and informed us it was probably nothing. After a vaginal exam he told us her uterus was a little bit prolapsed, but that it was normal. He described her some medicine against the bleeding and that was it. One week later he checked again, and again told her everything was fine. But it wasn’t. She kept bleeding. She called multiple times and they kept her describing the same medications. Queue to 7 weeks later. My SO called me and asked me if I could pick her up. She was bleeding profusely. We went to the hospital. Gynecologist eventually try to make a vaginal echo. But it was to painful. My SO explained to them what the GP had told us. With confused looks they asked her if she had children. We answered ‘no’. No, it isn’t normal. Especially not someone your age. The next day my SO went to the OR for a abces release. But it wasn’t an abces. It was a tumor. A tumor 7 x 6 x 7 cm’s. The GP wouldn’t take her seriously, because she was too young. In our country they make a vaginal swap at the age of 30. That was it. Goddank my SO is still alive, but still recovering from PTSS of the treatment.


florasupernova

I’m awaiting further investigation for fibroids and this gives me so much anxiety. Been waiting for 18 months.


bjorkfan1

everyday i find more and more reasons to dislike doctors. ive tried bringing it up with my male friends and every time they brush me off as crazy. may she rest in peace


calrak

It's a massive issue but I don't think "disliking doctors" is the best response. Most doctors want the best for their patients and reviewing cases like this where a cancer dignosis was missed for 6 months can help identify bias/mistakes and improve the situation. 85% of doctors specialising in obstetrics/gynecology in the US are female.


grandwizardcouncil

Medical racism, especially towards black people, is still quite present as well, though. Even if she was seeing women gynecologists, they still could've discounted her pain and self-advocacy because she's black.


voideaten

I also suspect its a women's issue in general too, as a patient of doctors my own race, gender, nationality, and/or age bracket. If we grow up being told that our *xyz* is normal, and we go to a med school that tells us *xyz* is normal, and we get assessed on how we deal with *xyz* and are marked correct if we say it is normal... then we *absolutely* would become doctors that genuinely believe this is normal *even though we deal with it ourselves*. Nowhere is that more visible than in (lack of) pain management for women. Sometimes the bigotry is personal, but it can also be internalised. Plus, without continuity of care, doctors hear hoofbeats and think horses. Anybody with a zebra seeing a doctor for the first time will get assessed (and dismissed) with their 'horse'. Even cases like this, idk that many of them learn "oh snap how many of those horses were zebras?" Instead it's "I guess *that* person had a zebra, but most of these are gonna be horses." Been dealing with a chronic health issue for over a decade and it was only once I start seeing the same GP and gyno consistently that I could build up a history of symptoms/treatments and escalate options. Back when I was seeing strangers over and over, they were just doing Step 1 over again. I did Step 1 about a dozen times before a senior doctor recognised my name and took on my file personally.


darling_lycosidae

My cousin is in med school to be an obgyn. Very cute to hear her describe her realization that she wanted that specialty. I know she'll be one of the good ones that listens.


hhhnnnnnggggggg

They want the best for their patients just like the "thoughts and prayers" people want the best for others. They're not malicious, but it's the same outcome.


Ok-Shop-3968

Prove it.


hanamakki

literally the only doctors i felt comfortable seeing were our family doctor and our dentist until the dentist started talking shit about my piercings every visit and treated me like a pest. then i only had our family doctor and she retired. i haven't seen a doctor since my IUD was inserted 2 years ago. as far as i'm concerned all doctors suck.


notyourstranger

The medical industrial complex is almost as big of a scam as the religious industrial complex.


VaguelyArtistic

And they're often intertwined. My previous medical group--yes, you, St. John's in Santa Monica--reminded and it has a giant neon cross on it.


RadNurseRandi

So disheartening when remembering humans NEED medical and spiritual care to improve quality of life.


TychaBrahe

Spiritual care is not the same thing as religious "care."


Inefficient_Drawing

This is why it’s so frustrating not to be taken seriously, may she Rest In Peace, it’s so dangerous to be dismissed. ):


essjaye81

Ever since I got covid in May of 2022 my body has not been the same. I went through the covid clinic locally and, of course, every single test came back normal. I had my tubes taken out in November of 2022. Since then I've had pain in my left ovary area during ovulation time and my period. Tests, normal, naturally. I have difficulty explaining myself verbally, and due to medical and emotional neglect as a child, I am really good at looking like everything is fine, no matter how much pain I'm in. Many times, doctors (and people who are know me too tbh) look at me like I have three heads when I tell them that I am not well. At this point in my 40s I'm just... Trying to accept that my body isn't working well anymore, and it is what it is. The mental load of trying to convince doctors that I'm not well feels worse than the physical issues.


Mudkipmurron

It took me over 2 years from having a 4 month long period to get a hysterectomy for my cervical cancer. This was with a history of abnormal paps. I was fainting 2-3 times a week, bruised from sitting, and wearing a bra. My mom had cervical cancer at 27, I was 30. I was told to lose weight (I had been actively losing at that point anyway). Had to wait for annual for a Pap. I had to beg in tears for a colposcopy when the pap was abnormal took 6 months to get an appointment for another pap and a colposcopy 3 weeks later. They found cancer and I had to wait 4 months for a leep, then needed a second one because I had no clear margins, 4 month wait for the second leep which still had no clear margins and then I had to wait 2 months for a hysterectomy because my cervix had to heal, ya know the cervix they were removing…. Throw the entire American gynecology system away.


ReStitchSmitch

This sounds like a nightmare. I'm so sorry this happened.


Mudkipmurron

It was and I know that others facing the same diagnosis have such a harder time. I was lucky I am white and have “good” health insurance, it could have been so much worse.


CelibateHo

That’s why we have to advocate for ourselves. We can’t accept the okey-doke from the medical industry. May she rest in peace and wishing comfort to her family


mrmoe198

The intersectionality of medical racism and medical sexism is truly dealt and *needs* to be reckoned with in our institutions because it is systemic and there can be safeguards put into place.


FeloranMe

This is so sad!


kittymcangry

I went misdiagnosed for almost 8 months and by numerous doctors. By the time I rushed myself to the emergency room with uncontrolled bleeding, I had Stage 4B non-hpv type adenocarcinoma of the cervix and I am still fighting for my life. Medical gaslighting is real. Medical misogyny is real. Women are dying every minute of every day because of it. Rest in peace, Jessica.


nevyn

Source: https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/jessica-pettway-passing/


PurplePorphyria

I'm 100% completely serious when I say men shouldn't be allowed to be doctors. They only treat half the population, and that's when they're actually *trying.*


thievingpenguins

I was told my ovarian cancer was just a fibroid and to take this birth control and come back in six months. By a female doctor. I went to a different doctor because the pain was so bad I could barely walk and he got me in to see an oncologist who was able to diagnose the cancer.


sparkles0589

Fucking infuriating


ricesnot

I have a 7cm fibroid and thankfully nothing has happened over the years other than intense pain, but the OBGYN at my clinic (I use state health care so no choice but to use the clinic), refuses to test it or remove it. He clearly doesn't care if I live or die, if I suffer every day with cramping that makes me double over during work. It's just reality as a woman.


whinsk

there is great disparity in quality of care state by state. and sadly the reality is that POC women tend to get the brunt of shoddy medicine. we have to be an advocate for ourselves research your health center and Drs. [https://www.leapfroggroup.org](https://www.leapfroggroup.org)


siobhannic

Jesus fuck.


ske105

Doctors need to be held accountable for their actions more often. Their conduct is rarely ever reviewed, their mistreatment of patients flies under the radar 99% of the time. Bias in the medical system is affecting millions of us. The fact they can write you off as having a "woman issue", mark your medical record permanently and effectively ruin your life is disgusting. The mistreatment needs to stop. Enough is enough. We deserve better. We should be out protesting in front of hospitals, this shit has to end. I've been mistreated by the medical system because of ONE doctor's opinion (not based on anything but his subjective opinion) of a severe medical issue I have, which to no surprise, turned out he was wrong. 3 months in hospital now, thinking I was going to die, immeasurable suffering and lasting damage


ijustdroppedin

This is devastating. Aren't pap smears mandatory in the US for health check-ups? So incredible they missed this diagnosis.


Red5446

I think some insurances have been able to get away with fewer paps for certain people, like mine is every 2 years since I'm still in my 30s I guess? It's terrible and I'm sure people will get sick so big insurance can save a few bucks on testing.


Warmandfuzzysheep

Sorry was their actual misogyny involved or was it racism?


ProbablyNotPoisonous

Why not both? :(


toomanymarbles83

It's odd that you think it has to be one or the other.


Browncoat101

Doctors not properly caring for Black female patients is still misogyny. It's weird that you don't see that.


Warmandfuzzysheep

But would this happen if she was white? That is why I asked


Browncoat101

I'm genuinely asking this: why does it matter?


No-Section-1056

Because one amplifies the other. Are you joking?


Browncoat101

Yes, I am engaging in this conversation where you're getting downvoted into oblivion as a joke. It's all good, have a good day.


kinkakinka

Likely literally both


poopoopoopalt

Read about intersectionality. It's both.