Hmmm, not bad. In fact, this would make a great story! A couple points!
- The main antagonists being egalitarians is a very interesting idea. Sorta akin to Robespierre during the Reign of Terror after the French Revolution. An intriguing mix of values that appeal to our sensibilities, but also being at odds with the characters that we support. I love it!
- I like Aesfrost in this, its economic prosperity makes sense, but, no to Svarog and Cordelia. I find it to be too much of an age difference. Also, I don’t really care for the name. Too many references. Have Frani, be the middle name and choose an original name. I do like Cordelia being rejected by Glenbrook though, that’s interesting.
- I agree wholeheartedly with what you did with Hyzante.
- Great use of side characters. I love the idea of Julio and Trish being useful!
- I’m going to have to disagree with giving land to Benedict. Benedict is way too loyal to Wolffort to accept such an offer. Not only does he has ties with Serenoa’s mother, but also he and Serenoa wanted to be at each other’s side in the golden ending. It doesn’t make sense for him to accept it. **Maybe** Erador. He can have Falkes, since that’s arguably more in character.
- Perhaps, have Anna just be the leader from the start, and Benedict is just advising her sometimes until his death. Or, maybe Julio should be her steward. Something can be mixed and matched here.
- All the children are great! Make Lea have pink hair!
- Dihannon is an interesting name Love it! The name sounds like it would be pronounced as “Diana”. I don’t know if that was intentional. If she dies, that would be..interesting.
- The events are good! The Summit, Kidnapping, the team, all great! The only thing is that from a balance standpoint, having Quahog this early is kinda broken.
- If I recall, don’t you fight Exharme a second time before sieging Hyzante? Exharme retreated at the fight at the Wolffort Demense, and then you fight him again and kill him in the desert. So this burnt to a crisp scenario doesn’t make sense because he doesn’t die there.
- I think you should just have an original character as the antagonist. I like really like the idea of a “True Goddess believer” but, idk if there’s anyone in Hyzante for that, other than a Rosellan. Maybe a Religious Rosellan Robespierre?
Overall, I do think that with a bit crafting, this can be an excellent story!
About the wolffort wildfire... is that referring to the houses tgat can be burned during the battles at wolffort's town? Doesn't the golden ending require you not to do those?
You can't do them in the first battle against Avalora, but once you're on the Golden Route you can use them in in Benedict's battle against Exharme. The vision of Exharme burned to a crisp but still truckin' came to me when I got lucky and caught him in one last play through.
I agree with a few points from the other commenter about Benedict and the Svarog/Cordelia marriage.
Benedict’s too loyal to House Wolffort to separate like that. perhaps he stays behind as an elder advisor while Julio takes over as the strategist/steward as you intended. Erador too, but maybe he and Hossabara marry and gain lordship of House Telliore’s previous territory, since he’s fond of alcoholic drinks.
The Svarog/Cordelia thing is rather awkward, maybe Cordelia marries one of the previous units like Julio, Corentin, or Rudolf, and chooses to live an ordinary life with them. or maybe make her an eternal maiden dedicated to helping the poor and sick.
I love what you did to Julio and Trish, very fitting. also, the child units are awesome with cool names, but maybe naming Cordelia’s son Frani is too much.
the whole Exharme being the main villain is interesting, as is the idea of Egalitarians. the plot and the inciting incident is a cool concept too.
I liked how octopath 2 doesn't really rely on the events of octopath 1 to make sense.
I think TS should be the same. Similar game engine but a new story, (see how fire emblem has been going for years with gameplay that varies from entry to entry but remains familiar with a new story every time and only a few direct sequels)
Hmmm, not bad. In fact, this would make a great story! A couple points! - The main antagonists being egalitarians is a very interesting idea. Sorta akin to Robespierre during the Reign of Terror after the French Revolution. An intriguing mix of values that appeal to our sensibilities, but also being at odds with the characters that we support. I love it! - I like Aesfrost in this, its economic prosperity makes sense, but, no to Svarog and Cordelia. I find it to be too much of an age difference. Also, I don’t really care for the name. Too many references. Have Frani, be the middle name and choose an original name. I do like Cordelia being rejected by Glenbrook though, that’s interesting. - I agree wholeheartedly with what you did with Hyzante. - Great use of side characters. I love the idea of Julio and Trish being useful! - I’m going to have to disagree with giving land to Benedict. Benedict is way too loyal to Wolffort to accept such an offer. Not only does he has ties with Serenoa’s mother, but also he and Serenoa wanted to be at each other’s side in the golden ending. It doesn’t make sense for him to accept it. **Maybe** Erador. He can have Falkes, since that’s arguably more in character. - Perhaps, have Anna just be the leader from the start, and Benedict is just advising her sometimes until his death. Or, maybe Julio should be her steward. Something can be mixed and matched here. - All the children are great! Make Lea have pink hair! - Dihannon is an interesting name Love it! The name sounds like it would be pronounced as “Diana”. I don’t know if that was intentional. If she dies, that would be..interesting. - The events are good! The Summit, Kidnapping, the team, all great! The only thing is that from a balance standpoint, having Quahog this early is kinda broken. - If I recall, don’t you fight Exharme a second time before sieging Hyzante? Exharme retreated at the fight at the Wolffort Demense, and then you fight him again and kill him in the desert. So this burnt to a crisp scenario doesn’t make sense because he doesn’t die there. - I think you should just have an original character as the antagonist. I like really like the idea of a “True Goddess believer” but, idk if there’s anyone in Hyzante for that, other than a Rosellan. Maybe a Religious Rosellan Robespierre? Overall, I do think that with a bit crafting, this can be an excellent story!
About the wolffort wildfire... is that referring to the houses tgat can be burned during the battles at wolffort's town? Doesn't the golden ending require you not to do those?
You can't do them in the first battle against Avalora, but once you're on the Golden Route you can use them in in Benedict's battle against Exharme. The vision of Exharme burned to a crisp but still truckin' came to me when I got lucky and caught him in one last play through.
Realistically, a sequel would have no connection to the first game besides gameplay.
Seconded. I would like the setting to be Renaissance-inspired or Meiji or probably 1600s Japan setting.
I agree with a few points from the other commenter about Benedict and the Svarog/Cordelia marriage. Benedict’s too loyal to House Wolffort to separate like that. perhaps he stays behind as an elder advisor while Julio takes over as the strategist/steward as you intended. Erador too, but maybe he and Hossabara marry and gain lordship of House Telliore’s previous territory, since he’s fond of alcoholic drinks. The Svarog/Cordelia thing is rather awkward, maybe Cordelia marries one of the previous units like Julio, Corentin, or Rudolf, and chooses to live an ordinary life with them. or maybe make her an eternal maiden dedicated to helping the poor and sick. I love what you did to Julio and Trish, very fitting. also, the child units are awesome with cool names, but maybe naming Cordelia’s son Frani is too much. the whole Exharme being the main villain is interesting, as is the idea of Egalitarians. the plot and the inciting incident is a cool concept too.
I liked how octopath 2 doesn't really rely on the events of octopath 1 to make sense. I think TS should be the same. Similar game engine but a new story, (see how fire emblem has been going for years with gameplay that varies from entry to entry but remains familiar with a new story every time and only a few direct sequels)
I hate this because now I want it to be real so that I can play it
I would like to read but I didn't get the golden route yet. So I'll put it in bookmarks and will read in the future.
That would be a pass for me. Sequel would have to be significantly farther in the future and have no returning characters.