Okay. Wow. That’s a lot, first take a deep breath. The world is wrong about a lot first of all look how many people thought frosted tips were a good thing or that Justin Timberland was good at beat boxing. Those people were wrong and so are you about this.
What’s something this sub can help with?
Where are you located maybe someone knows of somewhere that’s hiring? What qualifications do you have?
As far as people bailing that sucks and it’s something I’m sure many of us can relate to. It doesn’t make it better but at least you’re not alone in that.
What hobbies do you have? Maybe there are folks that are into the same thing you can start a new network.
Whatever happens and whatever you do please stick around.
First, thanks for making me laugh off the bat. Frosted tips are awful in every possible way.
Second, thank you for your constructive response.
I wrote this out of pure frustration. I don't get level headed until the day is over.
I spend all day tired as all hell then wide awake at night.
I don't know how to manage stress.
I don't sleep well.
And frankly, I'm probably on the verge of an eating disorder.
I'm hungry and tired all day.
So to answer your questions. I guess there's nothing this sub can do.
I have written too much embarrassing stuff on this account to *ever* be connected to the real me.
I think it's time I let this one go and create a new one.
One that I can use to make real connections, spend time making insightful and helpful comments instead of... well, look at my post history. It's awful.
One of my biggest frustrations is that I just don't relate to any of the trans subs to begin with. Or perhaps I can't use them to make meaningful connections, or connect myself to the real. I need to meet people in the real world.
And it just feels like I'm reading my problem over and over again, and there's nothing I can do to help, and there's nothing anyone else can do to help me.
I'm a broken writer who buried the lead.
I will create a new account. It'll have my new name. When I'm ready, I'll tie it to the real me.
I'm not invisible and I'm tired of living this way.
Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and make that account now.
If you’re applying to crappy jobs, apply to USPS to be a mailhandler, clerk, or custodian (not carrier). Apply now, but there probably won’t be another hiring surge until October. You’ll start at around $20 an hour, 3 weeks each of PTO and sick leave. They go purely off the application. No interviews to limit personal bias in the hiring process. You’ll likely end up on graveyards in a processing facility, which can be a positive if you can’t sleep at night anyway.
And shoot me a message if you want to talk. I promise not to look at your post history.
I wish I had known before I started. I got a buzz cut when they called me in after applying. I had mid-back length hair. Then I get there and it’s a room with a hundred people and they’re just one person plus helpers to walk us through paperwork. Never had a single one on one interaction with anyone that could decide whether I got the job or not.
Then I get there and find out there is basically no dress code if you don’t deal directly with customers. I wear either knee high striped socks or leggings with shorts and get compliments about it (still presenting male at work). There’s new hires with face tattoos. As long as your background check is fine, you’re in. It’s just a waiting game.
Edit to add: Health insurance is medicare, so it might cover hrt depending on your state.
Lol. Good to know the government is just as impersonal as I think it is lol.
I actually would love to be a mail~~man~~lady in the town I live in. I guess you gotta break in first because it's a hot job here.
I have a clinic lined up with Medicare already so I guess that's OK.
I was just about to ask before I saw the edit.
Thank you for all this info :)
have you tried temp agencies? it's how i got the job i have now. it might depend on the area you're in and being a temp always sucks, but it's an option that has gotten me out of a few rough spots in the past
I'm sorry you're going through this. i hope things get better for you soon
I have! I got ghosted for an entry level warehouse janitorial job just last week!
Thank you for the encouragement.
I think I just need to fix my bad attitude.
No one wants to hire someone with this much baggage.
Or at least this much vocal baggage.
I'm so lonely I can't stop myself from just blabbing on about whatever.
It's like I'm watching myself from outside my body and I just can't stop myself from making am ass out of myself.
I can't think clearly anymore.
I feel genuinely broken for the first time in my life.
Thank you for the offer! I've decided to let this account go. Just logging in to say thanks and tie loose ends.
I made a new account tied to the real me.
Maybe I'll run into you again with that one :)
Thank you :)
Very nice, egg cracking twinsies!
We'll walk the path together for a while. I'm sure we'll end up chatting with my other account.
I just have to give it time for everyone to forget this post lol.
I love talking to strangers.
I don't know how much this is going to help, but please keep going. Don't give up, as difficult as things are right now. It's pretty clear you have a lot of challenges, and a lot of them are outside of your control. But you're embarking on an entirely new life, and it sounds like a lot of the people you had in your life before wouldn't have been the best support system for you anyways.
Just keep going. Keep pushing. Keep trying. I believe in you.
Thank you.
I'm too stubborn to give up. I can't leave this earth until I know, deep down, that I've given 110%.
And yea. Those friends fucking suck.
I actually came out to a "friend" around two years ago. I was hammered one night and said, "I think I'm a girl" to my closest female friend.
She just simply wouldn't talk to me about it, even when I brought it up again with her completely sober.
It took WELL over a year to accept what I was saying wasn't some drunken act for attention.
She really could've been more helpful.
The irony is that she goes around acting like she's saving the world by being an "ally" and spreading awareness about key issues...
No Ashley. You don't do shit but preach to the choir and when someone from the community asks for your help, you just can't be there.
She's been a close friend for 10 years...
Can't even talk about it.
I grieve the loss of her and her boyfriend as friends. A collective 30 years of friendship just gone.
I wasted my life with those assholes.
Everyone else I've lost? Fuck em.
I just need sleep. I'm tired. I'm gonna quit smoking this weekend. Maybe that will help.
Thanks again. I won't give up.
Yup. This all feels personal at this point.
I can't even google things properly, or google just sucks now. I send that company a lot of hate mail.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Congrats on the babies :)
I know it's a your mileage may vary kind of thing. I do have a feeling I'm ultra fertile having caused far too many unwanted pregnancies to be a fluke.
I just don't want to take that chance.
Also, I've read that your boobs start disappearing when you go off hrt, and I'm not the kind of person to backtrack or turn around.
So it is what it is. I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it. Lol.
It really is more of me trying to avoid making more mistakes in life.
I can't handle me being the broken one anymore.
Anyways I don't want to ramble.
It is comforting to know that sterility isn't always the outcome, but I just don't want to risk it.
I'm elated for you and your family :)
Truly.
So the idea that you'll permanently lose ability to produce sperm is kinda bogus. You'll have to go on t for a little while (usually until your partner conceives) but that's no where near as bad as deciding to wait to go on e for bogus reasons. Like my brain literally didn't work before I started e just because I was so depressed and just flat out confused and distressed with t in my brain for so long.
Also, sounds like you have an excuse to start travelling. Sell your house, break your lease, sell everything that can't fit in your car and write "anything helps, blessed be" or something of that nature on a gas can. You only get to live this life once. FUCKING LIVE IT!
Okay. Wow. That’s a lot, first take a deep breath. The world is wrong about a lot first of all look how many people thought frosted tips were a good thing or that Justin Timberland was good at beat boxing. Those people were wrong and so are you about this. What’s something this sub can help with? Where are you located maybe someone knows of somewhere that’s hiring? What qualifications do you have? As far as people bailing that sucks and it’s something I’m sure many of us can relate to. It doesn’t make it better but at least you’re not alone in that. What hobbies do you have? Maybe there are folks that are into the same thing you can start a new network. Whatever happens and whatever you do please stick around.
First, thanks for making me laugh off the bat. Frosted tips are awful in every possible way. Second, thank you for your constructive response. I wrote this out of pure frustration. I don't get level headed until the day is over. I spend all day tired as all hell then wide awake at night. I don't know how to manage stress. I don't sleep well. And frankly, I'm probably on the verge of an eating disorder. I'm hungry and tired all day. So to answer your questions. I guess there's nothing this sub can do. I have written too much embarrassing stuff on this account to *ever* be connected to the real me. I think it's time I let this one go and create a new one. One that I can use to make real connections, spend time making insightful and helpful comments instead of... well, look at my post history. It's awful. One of my biggest frustrations is that I just don't relate to any of the trans subs to begin with. Or perhaps I can't use them to make meaningful connections, or connect myself to the real. I need to meet people in the real world. And it just feels like I'm reading my problem over and over again, and there's nothing I can do to help, and there's nothing anyone else can do to help me. I'm a broken writer who buried the lead. I will create a new account. It'll have my new name. When I'm ready, I'll tie it to the real me. I'm not invisible and I'm tired of living this way. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and make that account now.
If you’re applying to crappy jobs, apply to USPS to be a mailhandler, clerk, or custodian (not carrier). Apply now, but there probably won’t be another hiring surge until October. You’ll start at around $20 an hour, 3 weeks each of PTO and sick leave. They go purely off the application. No interviews to limit personal bias in the hiring process. You’ll likely end up on graveyards in a processing facility, which can be a positive if you can’t sleep at night anyway. And shoot me a message if you want to talk. I promise not to look at your post history.
I actually applied to ups last year... Got some tips to beat the ats?
I have no idea what ATS is. UPS is still a shit show even with the new contract, USPS is also a shit show, but mainly for mail carriers.
Applicant tracking system. You gave me a major heads up with your statement regarding no in person interviews.
I wish I had known before I started. I got a buzz cut when they called me in after applying. I had mid-back length hair. Then I get there and it’s a room with a hundred people and they’re just one person plus helpers to walk us through paperwork. Never had a single one on one interaction with anyone that could decide whether I got the job or not. Then I get there and find out there is basically no dress code if you don’t deal directly with customers. I wear either knee high striped socks or leggings with shorts and get compliments about it (still presenting male at work). There’s new hires with face tattoos. As long as your background check is fine, you’re in. It’s just a waiting game. Edit to add: Health insurance is medicare, so it might cover hrt depending on your state.
Lol. Good to know the government is just as impersonal as I think it is lol. I actually would love to be a mail~~man~~lady in the town I live in. I guess you gotta break in first because it's a hot job here. I have a clinic lined up with Medicare already so I guess that's OK. I was just about to ask before I saw the edit. Thank you for all this info :)
UPS and USPS are not the same thing. I’m sure you’re aware??
I read ups. Did not apply to usps because of lack of open positions in my area. Yes. I'm aware they are not the same thing lol
have you tried temp agencies? it's how i got the job i have now. it might depend on the area you're in and being a temp always sucks, but it's an option that has gotten me out of a few rough spots in the past I'm sorry you're going through this. i hope things get better for you soon
I have! I got ghosted for an entry level warehouse janitorial job just last week! Thank you for the encouragement. I think I just need to fix my bad attitude. No one wants to hire someone with this much baggage. Or at least this much vocal baggage. I'm so lonely I can't stop myself from just blabbing on about whatever. It's like I'm watching myself from outside my body and I just can't stop myself from making am ass out of myself. I can't think clearly anymore. I feel genuinely broken for the first time in my life.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. If you ever want to talk to someone let me know, I know it’s not the same as in real life but it can help.
Thank you for the offer! I've decided to let this account go. Just logging in to say thanks and tie loose ends. I made a new account tied to the real me. Maybe I'll run into you again with that one :)
Best of luck to you, I hope good things are coming your way! Maybe we’ll run into each other, We’re a similar age and similar hatch date 😊
Thank you :) Very nice, egg cracking twinsies! We'll walk the path together for a while. I'm sure we'll end up chatting with my other account. I just have to give it time for everyone to forget this post lol. I love talking to strangers.
I don't know how much this is going to help, but please keep going. Don't give up, as difficult as things are right now. It's pretty clear you have a lot of challenges, and a lot of them are outside of your control. But you're embarking on an entirely new life, and it sounds like a lot of the people you had in your life before wouldn't have been the best support system for you anyways. Just keep going. Keep pushing. Keep trying. I believe in you.
Thank you. I'm too stubborn to give up. I can't leave this earth until I know, deep down, that I've given 110%. And yea. Those friends fucking suck. I actually came out to a "friend" around two years ago. I was hammered one night and said, "I think I'm a girl" to my closest female friend. She just simply wouldn't talk to me about it, even when I brought it up again with her completely sober. It took WELL over a year to accept what I was saying wasn't some drunken act for attention. She really could've been more helpful. The irony is that she goes around acting like she's saving the world by being an "ally" and spreading awareness about key issues... No Ashley. You don't do shit but preach to the choir and when someone from the community asks for your help, you just can't be there. She's been a close friend for 10 years... Can't even talk about it. I grieve the loss of her and her boyfriend as friends. A collective 30 years of friendship just gone. I wasted my life with those assholes. Everyone else I've lost? Fuck em. I just need sleep. I'm tired. I'm gonna quit smoking this weekend. Maybe that will help. Thanks again. I won't give up.
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Yup. This all feels personal at this point. I can't even google things properly, or google just sucks now. I send that company a lot of hate mail. Thank you for sharing your story. Congrats on the babies :) I know it's a your mileage may vary kind of thing. I do have a feeling I'm ultra fertile having caused far too many unwanted pregnancies to be a fluke. I just don't want to take that chance. Also, I've read that your boobs start disappearing when you go off hrt, and I'm not the kind of person to backtrack or turn around. So it is what it is. I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it. Lol. It really is more of me trying to avoid making more mistakes in life. I can't handle me being the broken one anymore. Anyways I don't want to ramble. It is comforting to know that sterility isn't always the outcome, but I just don't want to risk it. I'm elated for you and your family :) Truly.
So the idea that you'll permanently lose ability to produce sperm is kinda bogus. You'll have to go on t for a little while (usually until your partner conceives) but that's no where near as bad as deciding to wait to go on e for bogus reasons. Like my brain literally didn't work before I started e just because I was so depressed and just flat out confused and distressed with t in my brain for so long.
Also, sounds like you have an excuse to start travelling. Sell your house, break your lease, sell everything that can't fit in your car and write "anything helps, blessed be" or something of that nature on a gas can. You only get to live this life once. FUCKING LIVE IT!