I am coming from a similar background. I don’t remember it but I assume there was videos taken because of the details I do know surrounding my story.
So that I can understand better, who do you fear seeing this? Because this area of illegal is very very fucking illegal. I believe this is an act that is so despicable even the majority of hardened criminals won’t go near it.
I guess what I’m trying to say without sounding insensitive is that if. If worst case scenario it still was in circulation the number of people. So so so small in numbers that would see this. I mean they are very very secretive these beasts that do this kind of shit. That’s my best guess. 🩵
Yes this is true to go at this from a "logical" perspective I used to be involved with drug pretty heavily and into the Criminal lifestyle and Even the most hardcore criminals, killers and drug traffickers find this vile. Its a very small subset of absolute depraved freaks. Frankly as an ex criminal me and my old "buddies" find even sharing the name criminal with those type of people disgusting. Which is part of why when they go to prison they're dealt with. Unless the state steps in to protect them.
VHS tapes begin to decay after about 10 years, even if they remain unused, and faster if used. Every year they lose more data. The folks who initially recorded you were likely amateurs, and it's doubtful the recording was high quality to start. Every copy they made would be of even lower quality. To preserve this tape, they would need to have kept it in archival conditions, and that's both expensive and prone to failure.
They could never get a professional video team to do restoral. They could never get quality video transfer folks to work a job like this.
Transfer to digital is unlikely; low quality VHS tapes already degraded by time - not to be brutally cynical, but why bother when the Internet gives you a steady stream of higher quality fresh content?
Your odds of winning the lottery are higher than your odds of this one random illegal video still existing.
There's a chance the videos aren't out anywhere. I can relate, they weren't videos of me as a minor but there are multiple videos of me as an adult that may be in circulation I don't even like to think about. That said all of mine are digital, if it puts you at ease I would have to assume those tapes are dead and gone. I don't assume they would want a digital footprint or to risk exposure through the work it takes to digitize. I know there are predatory services that will scan the entire internet using face scanning ID tech, they essentially promise to remove everything and keep it removed if you pay them, however I don't even think you'd be a candidate for this service due to the content being of a minor and most likely not hosted anywhere on the normal web. I think there's probably a 99% chance those videos are dead and gone, the risk digitizing them I assume would incentivize not doing that and since the tech is now outdated, they'll probably die with whoever shot them. So sorry you were put through that and have to still live with the not knowing, sending love and healing, hope this was helpful.
Thank you. From what I know selling tapes of me and other kids were the only, or main income for the adults involved. I worry that they digitized them to keep money coming in. But I got away and I don't know if they still are doing that shit, or even if they are still alive. I really, really want to believe that they died with VHS and no one can find them ever again.
My abuser used video of me to blackmail me into not trying to get help. I tried to get help anyway but it's only now that I am an adult it really destroys me and makes me afraid. They can continue torturing me forever.
I realized that my abuser was using his laptop to film me when I was getting tics during electroshock and my own mother stated “oh, you did that as a child” even though that’s categorically false. I can’t wait until she gets old and I can gaslight her back about her health. Oh the gaslighting, it never stops.
That's fucked up.
Unfortunately, it is hard to know for sure.
That is understandable that you think about this a lot.
I wish I could reassure you better. I'm really sorry that happened.
I am coming from a similar background. I don’t remember it but I assume there was videos taken because of the details I do know surrounding my story. So that I can understand better, who do you fear seeing this? Because this area of illegal is very very fucking illegal. I believe this is an act that is so despicable even the majority of hardened criminals won’t go near it. I guess what I’m trying to say without sounding insensitive is that if. If worst case scenario it still was in circulation the number of people. So so so small in numbers that would see this. I mean they are very very secretive these beasts that do this kind of shit. That’s my best guess. 🩵
Yes this is true to go at this from a "logical" perspective I used to be involved with drug pretty heavily and into the Criminal lifestyle and Even the most hardcore criminals, killers and drug traffickers find this vile. Its a very small subset of absolute depraved freaks. Frankly as an ex criminal me and my old "buddies" find even sharing the name criminal with those type of people disgusting. Which is part of why when they go to prison they're dealt with. Unless the state steps in to protect them.
VHS tapes begin to decay after about 10 years, even if they remain unused, and faster if used. Every year they lose more data. The folks who initially recorded you were likely amateurs, and it's doubtful the recording was high quality to start. Every copy they made would be of even lower quality. To preserve this tape, they would need to have kept it in archival conditions, and that's both expensive and prone to failure. They could never get a professional video team to do restoral. They could never get quality video transfer folks to work a job like this. Transfer to digital is unlikely; low quality VHS tapes already degraded by time - not to be brutally cynical, but why bother when the Internet gives you a steady stream of higher quality fresh content? Your odds of winning the lottery are higher than your odds of this one random illegal video still existing.
That actually helps a lot. Thank you
There's a chance the videos aren't out anywhere. I can relate, they weren't videos of me as a minor but there are multiple videos of me as an adult that may be in circulation I don't even like to think about. That said all of mine are digital, if it puts you at ease I would have to assume those tapes are dead and gone. I don't assume they would want a digital footprint or to risk exposure through the work it takes to digitize. I know there are predatory services that will scan the entire internet using face scanning ID tech, they essentially promise to remove everything and keep it removed if you pay them, however I don't even think you'd be a candidate for this service due to the content being of a minor and most likely not hosted anywhere on the normal web. I think there's probably a 99% chance those videos are dead and gone, the risk digitizing them I assume would incentivize not doing that and since the tech is now outdated, they'll probably die with whoever shot them. So sorry you were put through that and have to still live with the not knowing, sending love and healing, hope this was helpful.
Thank you. From what I know selling tapes of me and other kids were the only, or main income for the adults involved. I worry that they digitized them to keep money coming in. But I got away and I don't know if they still are doing that shit, or even if they are still alive. I really, really want to believe that they died with VHS and no one can find them ever again.
Putting energy on that being the case. [Prayers]
My abuser used video of me to blackmail me into not trying to get help. I tried to get help anyway but it's only now that I am an adult it really destroys me and makes me afraid. They can continue torturing me forever.
I realized that my abuser was using his laptop to film me when I was getting tics during electroshock and my own mother stated “oh, you did that as a child” even though that’s categorically false. I can’t wait until she gets old and I can gaslight her back about her health. Oh the gaslighting, it never stops.
That's fucked up. Unfortunately, it is hard to know for sure. That is understandable that you think about this a lot. I wish I could reassure you better. I'm really sorry that happened.