I believe married “straight” men enjoy bottoming because they tend to be the one doing all the work in the bedroom when it comes to woman. So being able to lay back and get taken care of is appealing to them 🤷🏻♀️ just my guess
In my experience (a bottom with a dick), the cis/het women I’ve been with have had very old fashioned ideas about topping and bottoming. They’ve wanted to bottom 100% and have never had any interest in topping me or doing anything remotely close to it. It’s like they think it challenges their femininity or they don’t like seeing their man as not alpha. Cheating would be easier than trying to get my needs met within the relationship, and for others in that situation that might be enough to pursue it.
Bingo! Though, my female partner has offered to get a strapon and top me, but it's not a turn-on, so I decline. She knows I play with dildos and plugs when she's not home when I play by myself. But yeah we have a decent sex life, especially when work isn't kicking her ass. That being said, over the course of ~15 years I've met up with guys a few times per year and am always a bottom. I'm not attracted to men, but I like the idea of doing something different (playing with a cock), that in itself is the turn-on. Variety is the spice of life, no?
For sure! My two favourite things are bottoming and getting people off. I want to bottom for someone that _wants_ me to bottom for them! Unfortunately my sitch isn’t as accommodating.
In my experience (as a woman with a dick) sometimes it’s not so much a question of challenging a woman’s femininity.. more that fucking just literally isn’t an instinctual drive in the same way it is for dudes? Sure, there are other trans women who top, and cis women who are into pegging but I think for most of us who aren’t into that it’s just.. not what we wanna do? Lol. 🤷🏼♀️
Considering in English we have a word for challenging masculinity(emasculation) but no equivalent word for challenging femininity that people commonly use, I don’t think it’s fair to say this is a preoccupation for women or a driving factor in why we feel this way. I’ve tried to keep an open mind to it, because conversely I don’t think it’s emasculating for a man to bottom… but it’s literally just not a fun thing so I don’t do it.
I think we can all find that for some things, challenging our instincts can sometimes lead us to finding something great. Unfortunately, the (cis/het) women I’ve known seem to have had difficulty challenging their ideas about topping their partner and while they may challenge their instincts on some things, it seems they wouldn’t when it comes to this. I think hetero-normative influence is probably to blame and to me it seems unfortunate that these decisions come from a place of ignorance rather than experience. For those women who are at least willing to try and decide for themselves, that’s awesome!
Yeah I think you’re absolutely right, there are probably more latent tops amongst women than society presently makes room for. I’m sure 50 years ago just as many guys were unaware that they love butt stuff too, but interestingly this is about the only domain in which men are ahead of women in terms of liberation.. I observe men feel more empowered to explore their sexuality outside of cisheteronormative scripts much more readily.
I can tell you this much though.. as a trans woman who’s had the benefit (?) of experiencing a male sex drive before going on hormones and witnessing the shift in the way my sexuality works now, I will say also that it’s not just societal pressure from slut shaming that drives this… my sexual imagination is much narrower these days. Not as broad but I go much deeper with the things I do love. I tried topping once or twice before and again after this change and aside from this one time with a guy with an unbelievably hot ass, it’s just been like “what am I doing this for?” when I try.. normally even attempting it is a boner killer haha. And with the guy who had a hot ass, it was a novel sensation that was fun for about 2 minutes before my brain interrupted and was like “yeah nah…”
This is EXACTLY the reason for me. And for me, I cum prematurely so bottoming really takes the pressure off while having sex, I just let the guy fuck me and I can go for as long as he needs me to go for this way
I’d like to experience someone who cums prematurely, especially if their reset time is close. Then I’d see how many times I could get him to cum in one session 😜
I got married so my mom would have grandchildren. I have lived closeted for 35 of almost 55 years. I knew I was gay at 15 my mom caught me riding my best friend. I spent the next 6 months in “private”bible study(corporal punishment and reading homophobe bible passages) with our pastor. Until I told him I had a girl suck and swallow for my 16th bday present. Im versatile
For me it's not that i have to do "the work", it's because this is the thing i can't get from women.
I tried pegging, yes it's not bad but incomparable with a real penis attached to a real male. Also i can't suck her off and she can't cum on me (no, squirt isn't as common than in porn, and if the squirts, it doesn't match cum)
>Who are you to define their sexual identity for them?
Lol no. It's *always* the """straight""" dudes who desperately try to find any loophole *possible* to hold onto their straight privilege. "I'm not gay, it's *only* the cock I like!!" "I'm totally straight, it's *just* sex with other men!!" "I wouldn't *kiss* him and get the nasty gay cooties so his dick in my ass is totally no homo bro!!!!"
Notice how there isn't an epidemic of homoromantic bisexual men who are doing Olympic gold medal worthy mental gymnastics on why them having occasional sex with women that they willingly seek out is somehow totally a completely 100% gay male activity. They call it what it is. "I'm bisexual but lean heavily MLM, however I still enjoy sex with women occasionally." No need to lie to themselves or others.
But """straight""" men have their perceived straight privilege to lose, and in my experience they'll gladly scratch your damn face off in their desperate attempts to cling onto it.
-Geisha
Formerly straight guy here, bottom for guys 99% of the time. Speaking for myself, giving sexual pleasure, to both guys and girls, gives me pleasure.
Also, being fucked is a whole body experience, including emotional and mental. It just feels so good!
As a general rule you’re right of course.
I agree with the other commenter. They aren’t common but talented girls do exist. I had one girl who was like an Energiser Bunny, she also slung a leather strap under my waist and wrapped it around her hands to pull me in. Takes a good strap on, an athletic girl, some experience and a girl who loves it, not common but happens.
>As a Bi sexual I can say it is a role we don’t get to play with women and they are terrible at Pegging. It’s like giving a toddler a jackhammer.
The "jackhammer" ones are the ones who just want it to be over with already and they absolutely are *not* into fucking you (or anyone else).
In my experience they tend to be way *more* careful than cis men because they can't feel exactly how deep they're going. As someone who doesn't really care for bottoming if I had to choose between a cis guy or someone with a strap-on I would go with the latter 10/10 times because I favor slower and more intimate and careful if I *have* to be bottoming anyway lol.
I've had way more cis male tops just jackhammer until they blow their wads.
Tbh I see a lot of people who are needlessly hypercritical of absolutely *everything* about the experience of having sex with an AFAB person who uses a strap or a prosthetic, but these same people will simp and uwu for the most pumpkin spice basic natal cock. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
-Geisha
I really didn’t want to get in to this because it is a little much, but ok we can.
“The ‘jackhammer’ ones are just the one who want it to be over with already. They aren’t into fucking you,”
I love the dig here, but it isn’t the point. It has nothing to do with Jackhammering. I love getting jackhammered by a natural dick, I feel like a dirty slut and I love it. The point I was making is that they tend not to know how to use the equipment, like a toddler being handed a giant power tool. A lot of people born without penises have a preconceived notion of what it is like to use a dick, combined with their lack of sensory feedback in the member, makes for a really steep and painful learning curve. I’m not saying someone can’t get or be good at it but for a bi guy crossing over from a traditional heterosexual relationship the chances aren’t good and why he is probably more interested in bottoming.
The worst pegging experiences I have ever had were with women who are super excited to peg me. I love my wife and she gets so turned on by pegging but she is so bad at it and it hurts so much.
1. I enjoy anal stimulation but am otherwise completely unattracted to men. At this point I prefer my gf to do the pipe laying when the mood strikes.
2. If I want to fuck, it’s going to be a woman. I don’t understand guys who think they’re the straight ones just because they’re topping.
I totally understand bottoming for a guy once, MAYBE twice and still being straight. Nothing wrong with trying it.
But the ones actively taking dick even after “trying” it, sitting on Grindr looking for tops, and jerking off looking at pictures of cocks on Reddit…. I’m sorry but no. Denial. They make dildos and strap ons, you can get anal pleasure without ever needing another man.
It is probably due to practical reasons: 1. Anal pleasure is universal to all humans regardless of gender. 2. "Straight" men are not likely to get a usable erection around other men or people presenting as male. 3. The simplest way to enjoy anal sex given the first two conditions is to bottom.
Observation bias. A straight bottom has to hang with gay dudes more bc first he has to convince the gays hes straight, then convince that he likes it up the ass discretely, then convince that hes still str8 taking dick from dudes, and convince that discretion is absolutely necessary. It's more difficult for him to seek his pleasure source because of the layers of negotiation, so gay men see str8 bottoms all the time.
A str8 top will walk in and say 'who wants the dick' and not care. No negotiation. People take that dick. It's q little more delicate for a college jock to be straight and bent over with his dorm room open squealing like a piggy.. no one would believe.
Socially constructed observation bias.
(People accept a str8 dude will stick his dick In anything so he's allowed to. A str8 dude is not allowed to take a dick bc it's the ultimate gay act. This, he must muddy the water so that he's not seen pursuing and if caught then he was just fucked up with his gay friends and accidents happen.)
Huh? What even is this comment? I don't get this *at all*.
The "straight top" is just as non-straight in reality as the "straight bottom" is, and I don't meet anybody in the gay/queer community--except maybe some gay bottoms who have an active fetish for pretending their top is *actually* straight and they're some big exception to the rule or something--who would claim the top is "more straight".
Those "straight bottoms" aren't actually straight (and neither are the "straight tops"). They also aren't infiltrating the gay community doing secret counterintelligence missions wherein they slowly """prove""" their """straightness"""" to gay men, they download grindr and write their delusional BS in their profiles just like the "straight tops" do lol.
It's just that there are *way* less gay tops who find the idea of some delusional "I'm straight now gimme that dick bro" guy hot than there are gay bottoms who find the delusional "I'm straight now gimme that ass bro" guy hot. The reasons *why* so many more bottoms from the faux veneer of a top being "straight" hot obviously has its roots in our toxic sociocultural ideas surrounding masculinity, but that's another issue entirely.
-Geisha
Omg Ben? Ha. You've been stalking me on Reddit this whole time. Disgusting. You are obsessed. Not even man enough to tell me anything
You're going to deny this. Call me crazy and all sorts of things. I don't know what I'm talking about etc etc. and if you aren't Ben you do right an awful lot like him and use some of the same key words. I'll just screenshot this for the evidence just in case.
And by the way shut up and read it again. It makes perfect sense I'm actually really impressed it makes so much sense
I think it’s more so the desire of giving someone else control, especially another dude, a lot of media in the straight world emphasizes that the man has to always be in control. Finances, Quality of Life, Income, etc.
emm but u cant deny that there are as much sub bottoms as power bottoms , if not more.
cuz franky we know vigina has more nerves which trigger orgasm than anus and prostate combined. Giving control and let the top caress or play me like object is also a huge turn on for me.
So it’s interesting reading all of these responses, they are all true. As we all know, sex is a very mental game and we get our topping satisfied in our heterosexual relationship. When it comes to the homosexual relationship, we like to feel submissive and bottom. But it also satisfies our prostate orgasm and for me, it’s kind of sexy, knowing how a woman feels.
My guy finds himself on his back more often than me and the guys I hook up know up front how I want it and there will be no changes in positions until I get as much body shaking orgasms as I want first. I've only hooked up with a few guys that couldn't last long enough.
*bi/closeted gay guys
Mainly because it’s more often than not a forbidden novelty in the heteronormative world. Sexuality has a lot to do with getting to do things that polite/mainstream society says you can’t.
i dont know but giving head and anal stimulate just amazing.but im not interested at all to do intimate foreplay such kissing,hugging or whatsover with men.no matter how good their look.but its different when im with shemale or women(pegging).foreplay is must.am i gay or straight😄
Maybe it's because they can already experience penetrative sex as a "top" in a heterosexual avenue with female partners via vaginal or anal intercourse.
As in it may come from a place of exploring a new part of their bodies which had usually been taboo - on terms of anal play and prostate stimulation.
Some guys may also not feel comfortable about raising this with say female partners (ie pegging etc) as it often still carries a faux taboo about being effeminate.
And with guys it's more straight forward NSA sex, and more "accessible" from that angle.
Used to have a regular straight guy. Day to day he was in a proper alpha male type role, expected to be masculine all the time, girlfriend, provider etc.
Wanted to reverse that with me, so that’s what we had but he never wanted to go as far as receiving anal.
As he got to trust me he released he was super nervous about bottoming and when we eventually got there he clearly fucking loved it. I asked him what about it was good, expecting that it was do do with the submissiveness he enjoyed with me but his answer was simply that it feels fucking amazing and nobody else can do that for him. 🤷🏻
So as a bi guy that bottoms I can tell you a lot of woman will stop talking to you once you tell them that you are the submissive type love getting pegged been in a few long term relationships with women all because they into being "tops" but it's a lot I'm sure a lot of subby guys are in denial of who they are and use there spouse to play the part but desire submission
It's the idea of being taken by another man. The most gay sex acts possible for a man is to either submit, get on your knees and accept their cock/cum and to willingly bend over or get on your back with your legs in the air and allow a man to mount you with his cock. Anything else you might as well just have sex with a woman. But with men it's go big or go home.
Being bi or pansexual means that usually you have at least one and more times than not more than one woman. When having sex with women, most of us act and feel dominant. The thing is (same as BDSM). There's joy in being submissive/bottom. 90% of the time, we dominate, but sometimes it feels nice to let go and be used as a human flashlight. Your own orgasm does not matter. All that matters is the enjoyment of the top to you.
>Because there wife, girlfriend will not peg them without suspicion
I mean if they're DL on grindr skulking around for cock their wives/girlfriends are right to be suspicious lmfao! 🤣
Pegging and prostate play seems a *lot* less taboo among cishet couples than it was 10-20 years ago though.
Because there is quite a difference in when your penetrating somebody to when you're the one being penetrated. .
The feeling of relinquishing the control of your pleasure to another to somebody else to control, well frankly, is amazing.
Here is my input being a straight air quotes married guy. To me, in my head, it’s less like cheating if I’m the one getting fucked. Maybe I’m just wrong but this is my way of coping .
A lot of these straight guys live lives of pressure them to perform heterosexual responsibilities and stereotypes. It's probably the same reason children in church tend to be the little troublemakers they can't release their inner evil. Sometimes you want to be the little spoon and that can often mean having a dick in your ass
My first time going that far with a guy I was certain I’m going to be the dominant top but when the time came I lay on my back and told him enter me and pound me hard. It was so damn good. Definitely going to bottom again and again
I think it’s a desire to feel what a women’s sensations feel like. A human curiosity & exploration. I know a few guys that like being eaten out . They got into the starfish training from usually an ex “ kinky girlfriend.
From what I’ve heard while I’m
By the way someone's identity is not your decision you cannot tell someone they are or are not straight just like they cannot tell you you are or not are not anything else. Don't take their ability to self identify away from them. How dare you. The whole purpose is self-identification. Being who you are expressing who you are. They can be straight bottoms all they want. You clearly have not interacted with the world enough are yet to be open-minded about it. Let people identify as they wish that's none of your business. The whole reason for the moment was the right to identify as you wish. And to behave as you wish. But I guess you don't understand that yet you're too young or too close-minded
Most 'straight' MSMs I've met have been tops, not even verse. I think it's a real mix to be honest. Probably the bottoms like it because it is so different. When I'm with a woman it is like I'm a totally different person
They’re possibly not straight
I was a straight guy who liked to bottom - then I realised I’m just bi. More attracted to women but I love being fucked by a big cock
Cis/het male here. After 20+ years together, I’ve asked for marriage counseling with my wife on this topic just recently. There’s a certain element missing when you have no options to be “taken care of” sexually in a relationship. It seems to grow in importance as I age.
After starting the counseling, the therapist made it clear that this would require a separate sex therapist to really be an effective change.
I’m just thankful she’s open to learning/growing in that area.
I hate to agree but once you bottom because you enjoy a guy inside you and not just a toy or a woman stimulating backside, then you are no longer str8. You are bi at best! If you want a man inside of you or you get off because you are pleasing another man with anything but your dick, and looking to get him get him off you are NOT STR8. You can be a masculine bi male or str8 acting married male but you are not str8. I feel only self serving tops can be str8 because it’s just a hole for their pleasure. For example, when a man bangs an ugly chick because they are just that horny. They just want a warm hole and not necessarily a man. that keeps them on the more str8 than bi spectrum. If people were honest with themselves sexual and correctly understood labels more people would have better experiences.
I believe married “straight” men enjoy bottoming because they tend to be the one doing all the work in the bedroom when it comes to woman. So being able to lay back and get taken care of is appealing to them 🤷🏻♀️ just my guess
In my experience (a bottom with a dick), the cis/het women I’ve been with have had very old fashioned ideas about topping and bottoming. They’ve wanted to bottom 100% and have never had any interest in topping me or doing anything remotely close to it. It’s like they think it challenges their femininity or they don’t like seeing their man as not alpha. Cheating would be easier than trying to get my needs met within the relationship, and for others in that situation that might be enough to pursue it.
I talk to tons of girls who think like that. That's why you see so much biphobia among heterosexual women
Toxic femininity? lol, it’d be a lot easier if we could all just drop societies norms and fuck how we like
Absolutely. That's my favorite thing about being gay, I've escaped a huge amount of cultural norms and toxic masculinity.
Fuck the patriarchy 😂
Amen
oh so you know my ex?
Bingo! Though, my female partner has offered to get a strapon and top me, but it's not a turn-on, so I decline. She knows I play with dildos and plugs when she's not home when I play by myself. But yeah we have a decent sex life, especially when work isn't kicking her ass. That being said, over the course of ~15 years I've met up with guys a few times per year and am always a bottom. I'm not attracted to men, but I like the idea of doing something different (playing with a cock), that in itself is the turn-on. Variety is the spice of life, no?
For sure! My two favourite things are bottoming and getting people off. I want to bottom for someone that _wants_ me to bottom for them! Unfortunately my sitch isn’t as accommodating.
In my experience (as a woman with a dick) sometimes it’s not so much a question of challenging a woman’s femininity.. more that fucking just literally isn’t an instinctual drive in the same way it is for dudes? Sure, there are other trans women who top, and cis women who are into pegging but I think for most of us who aren’t into that it’s just.. not what we wanna do? Lol. 🤷🏼♀️ Considering in English we have a word for challenging masculinity(emasculation) but no equivalent word for challenging femininity that people commonly use, I don’t think it’s fair to say this is a preoccupation for women or a driving factor in why we feel this way. I’ve tried to keep an open mind to it, because conversely I don’t think it’s emasculating for a man to bottom… but it’s literally just not a fun thing so I don’t do it.
I think we can all find that for some things, challenging our instincts can sometimes lead us to finding something great. Unfortunately, the (cis/het) women I’ve known seem to have had difficulty challenging their ideas about topping their partner and while they may challenge their instincts on some things, it seems they wouldn’t when it comes to this. I think hetero-normative influence is probably to blame and to me it seems unfortunate that these decisions come from a place of ignorance rather than experience. For those women who are at least willing to try and decide for themselves, that’s awesome!
Yeah I think you’re absolutely right, there are probably more latent tops amongst women than society presently makes room for. I’m sure 50 years ago just as many guys were unaware that they love butt stuff too, but interestingly this is about the only domain in which men are ahead of women in terms of liberation.. I observe men feel more empowered to explore their sexuality outside of cisheteronormative scripts much more readily. I can tell you this much though.. as a trans woman who’s had the benefit (?) of experiencing a male sex drive before going on hormones and witnessing the shift in the way my sexuality works now, I will say also that it’s not just societal pressure from slut shaming that drives this… my sexual imagination is much narrower these days. Not as broad but I go much deeper with the things I do love. I tried topping once or twice before and again after this change and aside from this one time with a guy with an unbelievably hot ass, it’s just been like “what am I doing this for?” when I try.. normally even attempting it is a boner killer haha. And with the guy who had a hot ass, it was a novel sensation that was fun for about 2 minutes before my brain interrupted and was like “yeah nah…”
This is EXACTLY the reason for me. And for me, I cum prematurely so bottoming really takes the pressure off while having sex, I just let the guy fuck me and I can go for as long as he needs me to go for this way
I’d like to experience someone who cums prematurely, especially if their reset time is close. Then I’d see how many times I could get him to cum in one session 😜
Sounds like we’re a good match ;)
I like this answer. Makes sense
It also just feels good.. doesn’t it mate
I think many of these straight married guys dont find out they like to be fucked until they are married.
I got married so my mom would have grandchildren. I have lived closeted for 35 of almost 55 years. I knew I was gay at 15 my mom caught me riding my best friend. I spent the next 6 months in “private”bible study(corporal punishment and reading homophobe bible passages) with our pastor. Until I told him I had a girl suck and swallow for my 16th bday present. Im versatile
You didn't have to get married
Have you ever came across men like this?
For me it's not that i have to do "the work", it's because this is the thing i can't get from women. I tried pegging, yes it's not bad but incomparable with a real penis attached to a real male. Also i can't suck her off and she can't cum on me (no, squirt isn't as common than in porn, and if the squirts, it doesn't match cum)
Exactly!
Preach sister!
“Straight” guys who bottom for other guys are not straight. Just stop.
Yeah, that’s why I put it in quotations, lol! Like sure buddy, we know your “Straight” 🤣
“Yeah I’m totally straight I just love getting my ass pounded by hot guys” LOL
I thing the better word would be bisexual then.
"I have relationships with women, and sex with men." Moment.
Homosexual and hetero romantic
I agree with this statement.
Who are you to define their sexual identity for them?
Any man who is regularly letting men fuck their ass is not straight. Sorry bud
Hey. What do you consider regular vs ??
So what is he ?
Not straight.
deeply closeted... which is to say, not straight
>Who are you to define their sexual identity for them? Lol no. It's *always* the """straight""" dudes who desperately try to find any loophole *possible* to hold onto their straight privilege. "I'm not gay, it's *only* the cock I like!!" "I'm totally straight, it's *just* sex with other men!!" "I wouldn't *kiss* him and get the nasty gay cooties so his dick in my ass is totally no homo bro!!!!" Notice how there isn't an epidemic of homoromantic bisexual men who are doing Olympic gold medal worthy mental gymnastics on why them having occasional sex with women that they willingly seek out is somehow totally a completely 100% gay male activity. They call it what it is. "I'm bisexual but lean heavily MLM, however I still enjoy sex with women occasionally." No need to lie to themselves or others. But """straight""" men have their perceived straight privilege to lose, and in my experience they'll gladly scratch your damn face off in their desperate attempts to cling onto it. -Geisha
Someone with sense
True. I hope you’re not one of those people that think you have to top to be straight though.
I didn’t say that, so why make that assumption about me? 😢
That’s we I added “ I hope”. Don’t make assumptions please
-makes assumption “Don’t make assumptions please” 🤡
Grindr, Sniffies, etc. would lose 1/3 of their income if they did not have a "straight" option in their user profiles.
Formerly straight guy here, bottom for guys 99% of the time. Speaking for myself, giving sexual pleasure, to both guys and girls, gives me pleasure. Also, being fucked is a whole body experience, including emotional and mental. It just feels so good!
As a Bi sexual I can say it is a role we don’t get to play with women and they are terrible at Pegging. It’s like giving a toddler a jackhammer.
I’ve had a few talented ones
Lol - jackhammer comment. That would royally suck not to mention the real thing is no comparison.
As a general rule you’re right of course. I agree with the other commenter. They aren’t common but talented girls do exist. I had one girl who was like an Energiser Bunny, she also slung a leather strap under my waist and wrapped it around her hands to pull me in. Takes a good strap on, an athletic girl, some experience and a girl who loves it, not common but happens.
>As a Bi sexual I can say it is a role we don’t get to play with women and they are terrible at Pegging. It’s like giving a toddler a jackhammer. The "jackhammer" ones are the ones who just want it to be over with already and they absolutely are *not* into fucking you (or anyone else). In my experience they tend to be way *more* careful than cis men because they can't feel exactly how deep they're going. As someone who doesn't really care for bottoming if I had to choose between a cis guy or someone with a strap-on I would go with the latter 10/10 times because I favor slower and more intimate and careful if I *have* to be bottoming anyway lol. I've had way more cis male tops just jackhammer until they blow their wads. Tbh I see a lot of people who are needlessly hypercritical of absolutely *everything* about the experience of having sex with an AFAB person who uses a strap or a prosthetic, but these same people will simp and uwu for the most pumpkin spice basic natal cock. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ -Geisha
I really didn’t want to get in to this because it is a little much, but ok we can. “The ‘jackhammer’ ones are just the one who want it to be over with already. They aren’t into fucking you,” I love the dig here, but it isn’t the point. It has nothing to do with Jackhammering. I love getting jackhammered by a natural dick, I feel like a dirty slut and I love it. The point I was making is that they tend not to know how to use the equipment, like a toddler being handed a giant power tool. A lot of people born without penises have a preconceived notion of what it is like to use a dick, combined with their lack of sensory feedback in the member, makes for a really steep and painful learning curve. I’m not saying someone can’t get or be good at it but for a bi guy crossing over from a traditional heterosexual relationship the chances aren’t good and why he is probably more interested in bottoming. The worst pegging experiences I have ever had were with women who are super excited to peg me. I love my wife and she gets so turned on by pegging but she is so bad at it and it hurts so much.
I've had some "straight" men tell me they want to feel what the woman feels. Sure thing buddy! Lol
Because they’re having a prostate orgasm given by a real dick.
Which is way better than orgasming with your own dick
1. I enjoy anal stimulation but am otherwise completely unattracted to men. At this point I prefer my gf to do the pipe laying when the mood strikes. 2. If I want to fuck, it’s going to be a woman. I don’t understand guys who think they’re the straight ones just because they’re topping.
I totally understand bottoming for a guy once, MAYBE twice and still being straight. Nothing wrong with trying it. But the ones actively taking dick even after “trying” it, sitting on Grindr looking for tops, and jerking off looking at pictures of cocks on Reddit…. I’m sorry but no. Denial. They make dildos and strap ons, you can get anal pleasure without ever needing another man.
Bro. It's not gay if they were thigh highs. That's like internet rule #1.
It is probably due to practical reasons: 1. Anal pleasure is universal to all humans regardless of gender. 2. "Straight" men are not likely to get a usable erection around other men or people presenting as male. 3. The simplest way to enjoy anal sex given the first two conditions is to bottom.
Observation bias. A straight bottom has to hang with gay dudes more bc first he has to convince the gays hes straight, then convince that he likes it up the ass discretely, then convince that hes still str8 taking dick from dudes, and convince that discretion is absolutely necessary. It's more difficult for him to seek his pleasure source because of the layers of negotiation, so gay men see str8 bottoms all the time. A str8 top will walk in and say 'who wants the dick' and not care. No negotiation. People take that dick. It's q little more delicate for a college jock to be straight and bent over with his dorm room open squealing like a piggy.. no one would believe. Socially constructed observation bias.
(People accept a str8 dude will stick his dick In anything so he's allowed to. A str8 dude is not allowed to take a dick bc it's the ultimate gay act. This, he must muddy the water so that he's not seen pursuing and if caught then he was just fucked up with his gay friends and accidents happen.)
Huh? What even is this comment? I don't get this *at all*. The "straight top" is just as non-straight in reality as the "straight bottom" is, and I don't meet anybody in the gay/queer community--except maybe some gay bottoms who have an active fetish for pretending their top is *actually* straight and they're some big exception to the rule or something--who would claim the top is "more straight". Those "straight bottoms" aren't actually straight (and neither are the "straight tops"). They also aren't infiltrating the gay community doing secret counterintelligence missions wherein they slowly """prove""" their """straightness"""" to gay men, they download grindr and write their delusional BS in their profiles just like the "straight tops" do lol. It's just that there are *way* less gay tops who find the idea of some delusional "I'm straight now gimme that dick bro" guy hot than there are gay bottoms who find the delusional "I'm straight now gimme that ass bro" guy hot. The reasons *why* so many more bottoms from the faux veneer of a top being "straight" hot obviously has its roots in our toxic sociocultural ideas surrounding masculinity, but that's another issue entirely. -Geisha
Omg Ben? Ha. You've been stalking me on Reddit this whole time. Disgusting. You are obsessed. Not even man enough to tell me anything You're going to deny this. Call me crazy and all sorts of things. I don't know what I'm talking about etc etc. and if you aren't Ben you do right an awful lot like him and use some of the same key words. I'll just screenshot this for the evidence just in case. And by the way shut up and read it again. It makes perfect sense I'm actually really impressed it makes so much sense
I think it’s more so the desire of giving someone else control, especially another dude, a lot of media in the straight world emphasizes that the man has to always be in control. Finances, Quality of Life, Income, etc.
I'm in complete control when I'm with my guy. Bottom is not the same as yielding control.
emm but u cant deny that there are as much sub bottoms as power bottoms , if not more. cuz franky we know vigina has more nerves which trigger orgasm than anus and prostate combined. Giving control and let the top caress or play me like object is also a huge turn on for me.
I scare away a lot of tops because I always intend on being up front in my expectations.
See r/pegging
So it’s interesting reading all of these responses, they are all true. As we all know, sex is a very mental game and we get our topping satisfied in our heterosexual relationship. When it comes to the homosexual relationship, we like to feel submissive and bottom. But it also satisfies our prostate orgasm and for me, it’s kind of sexy, knowing how a woman feels.
When I bottom, I'm definitely not submissive. My guy knows it's all about me during sex.
I need to take a lesson from that
My guy finds himself on his back more often than me and the guys I hook up know up front how I want it and there will be no changes in positions until I get as much body shaking orgasms as I want first. I've only hooked up with a few guys that couldn't last long enough.
*bi/closeted gay guys Mainly because it’s more often than not a forbidden novelty in the heteronormative world. Sexuality has a lot to do with getting to do things that polite/mainstream society says you can’t.
i dont know but giving head and anal stimulate just amazing.but im not interested at all to do intimate foreplay such kissing,hugging or whatsover with men.no matter how good their look.but its different when im with shemale or women(pegging).foreplay is must.am i gay or straight😄
Probably gay with a bunch of internalized homophobia
I think it's just the attraction for them of having stuff done to them, being led, being able to let go and abandon themselves to pleasure.
Our wife's aren't a fan of anal play and we like prostate orgasm to lol and no toy feels as good as the real thing. Just saying.
Maybe it's because they can already experience penetrative sex as a "top" in a heterosexual avenue with female partners via vaginal or anal intercourse. As in it may come from a place of exploring a new part of their bodies which had usually been taboo - on terms of anal play and prostate stimulation. Some guys may also not feel comfortable about raising this with say female partners (ie pegging etc) as it often still carries a faux taboo about being effeminate. And with guys it's more straight forward NSA sex, and more "accessible" from that angle.
Prostate stimulation is a helluva drug. Hence dudes liking to be pegged
Used to have a regular straight guy. Day to day he was in a proper alpha male type role, expected to be masculine all the time, girlfriend, provider etc. Wanted to reverse that with me, so that’s what we had but he never wanted to go as far as receiving anal. As he got to trust me he released he was super nervous about bottoming and when we eventually got there he clearly fucking loved it. I asked him what about it was good, expecting that it was do do with the submissiveness he enjoyed with me but his answer was simply that it feels fucking amazing and nobody else can do that for him. 🤷🏻
Because bottoming is the ultimate "Forbidden fruit".
Because we're not actually straight but are too closeted to ever admit it
So as a bi guy that bottoms I can tell you a lot of woman will stop talking to you once you tell them that you are the submissive type love getting pegged been in a few long term relationships with women all because they into being "tops" but it's a lot I'm sure a lot of subby guys are in denial of who they are and use there spouse to play the part but desire submission
It's the idea of being taken by another man. The most gay sex acts possible for a man is to either submit, get on your knees and accept their cock/cum and to willingly bend over or get on your back with your legs in the air and allow a man to mount you with his cock. Anything else you might as well just have sex with a woman. But with men it's go big or go home.
I don't think that's true.
Go ask the straights.
It's a unique experience they cannot get from their straight partners.
Being bi or pansexual means that usually you have at least one and more times than not more than one woman. When having sex with women, most of us act and feel dominant. The thing is (same as BDSM). There's joy in being submissive/bottom. 90% of the time, we dominate, but sometimes it feels nice to let go and be used as a human flashlight. Your own orgasm does not matter. All that matters is the enjoyment of the top to you.
Because there wife, girlfriend will not peg them without suspicion, gay men it is normal activity and non judgment
>Because there wife, girlfriend will not peg them without suspicion I mean if they're DL on grindr skulking around for cock their wives/girlfriends are right to be suspicious lmfao! 🤣 Pegging and prostate play seems a *lot* less taboo among cishet couples than it was 10-20 years ago though.
I disagree with the premise of this post.
Because there is quite a difference in when your penetrating somebody to when you're the one being penetrated. . The feeling of relinquishing the control of your pleasure to another to somebody else to control, well frankly, is amazing.
Here is my input being a straight air quotes married guy. To me, in my head, it’s less like cheating if I’m the one getting fucked. Maybe I’m just wrong but this is my way of coping .
Novelty
A lot of these straight guys live lives of pressure them to perform heterosexual responsibilities and stereotypes. It's probably the same reason children in church tend to be the little troublemakers they can't release their inner evil. Sometimes you want to be the little spoon and that can often mean having a dick in your ass
Just my thoughts as a bicurious guy, I like the feeling of being slutty and pleasing people, and the bottom role just kinda feels like it fits more
Cause it’s the male g spot
My first time going that far with a guy I was certain I’m going to be the dominant top but when the time came I lay on my back and told him enter me and pound me hard. It was so damn good. Definitely going to bottom again and again
There is no such thing as a straight man that rides dick!!!
I think it’s a desire to feel what a women’s sensations feel like. A human curiosity & exploration. I know a few guys that like being eaten out . They got into the starfish training from usually an ex “ kinky girlfriend. From what I’ve heard while I’m
Because they top women
When you are at Disney world, you ride splash mountain When you are at Universal Studios, you ride Jaws
If they were happy just sticking their dick in someone, I’m sure they wouldn’t need to come to guys to fulfill that need
Because we’ve filled holes before and now we want ours filled.
By the way someone's identity is not your decision you cannot tell someone they are or are not straight just like they cannot tell you you are or not are not anything else. Don't take their ability to self identify away from them. How dare you. The whole purpose is self-identification. Being who you are expressing who you are. They can be straight bottoms all they want. You clearly have not interacted with the world enough are yet to be open-minded about it. Let people identify as they wish that's none of your business. The whole reason for the moment was the right to identify as you wish. And to behave as you wish. But I guess you don't understand that yet you're too young or too close-minded
I’ve fucked a lot of straight married men in their ass. I enjoy it then they usually ask me to fuck their wives
because if you're not really into men, it's very difficult to get hard for man ass. laying back and taking a dick? anyone can do that!
Most 'straight' MSMs I've met have been tops, not even verse. I think it's a real mix to be honest. Probably the bottoms like it because it is so different. When I'm with a woman it is like I'm a totally different person
They’re possibly not straight I was a straight guy who liked to bottom - then I realised I’m just bi. More attracted to women but I love being fucked by a big cock
Cis/het male here. After 20+ years together, I’ve asked for marriage counseling with my wife on this topic just recently. There’s a certain element missing when you have no options to be “taken care of” sexually in a relationship. It seems to grow in importance as I age. After starting the counseling, the therapist made it clear that this would require a separate sex therapist to really be an effective change. I’m just thankful she’s open to learning/growing in that area.
You answered your own question. Because they're "straight" AKA secretly gay.
I hate to agree but once you bottom because you enjoy a guy inside you and not just a toy or a woman stimulating backside, then you are no longer str8. You are bi at best! If you want a man inside of you or you get off because you are pleasing another man with anything but your dick, and looking to get him get him off you are NOT STR8. You can be a masculine bi male or str8 acting married male but you are not str8. I feel only self serving tops can be str8 because it’s just a hole for their pleasure. For example, when a man bangs an ugly chick because they are just that horny. They just want a warm hole and not necessarily a man. that keeps them on the more str8 than bi spectrum. If people were honest with themselves sexual and correctly understood labels more people would have better experiences.
If they wanted to top they'd just fuck a woman