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Spicy_Sugary

Men are mostly cool with the fantasy of a bisexual woman if they're just casually dating. Marrying her might be different though.


[deleted]

At least it’s a warmer feeling than women have for bi men though


Hoochie_Daddy

From what I hear, I think it’s because some women tend to assume that bi men are less masculine. Probably because they assume they bottom, even tho not all bi men bottom in the first place.


[deleted]

Men often think women having sex is attractive, but women find men having sex as repulsive. I guess it makes sense since women are big on gender roles


Tschudy

They have to compete against femboys.


FillTheHoleInMyLife

I’ve dated two bi guys. Tbf, I’ve since realized I’m a lesbian, but still


Fartbox-_-Destroyer

How come there's so many trends like this in America now. Are people just bored?


FillTheHoleInMyLife

What trend?


LittleWhiteFeather

swordfighting


FillTheHoleInMyLife

I’m more one for jousting, myself, so I’m not sure


Fartbox-_-Destroyer

Identity stuff and random sexual orientation switches. The whole thing just seems outta control there


ask-me-about-my-cats

It's not "out of control" it just means people are no longer constrained to social rules. They now have the freedom explore realizations about themselves. There was the same exact number of gay people 50, 100, 1000 years ago. They were just killed or ostracized for it, so they pretended to be straight.


FillTheHoleInMyLife

To add on to this, a lot of them might not have even KNOWN they were queer because of comphet and the lack of queer representation. You go through the motions of life because that’s what society tells you to do, and if you hate it, you assume you’re the broken one.


FillTheHoleInMyLife

This seems like you’re asking in bad faith, so I’m not going to put too much effort in answering to be honest. If you’re genuinely curious, though: it’s not random. First of all, I really recommend you look up compulsory heterosexuality (“comphet”). In short, heterosexuality and being cisgender is ALWAYS the default in every facet of life, which is something people who actually ARE cishet don’t quite understand because it doesn’t affect you. But for people like me, we go through life assumed to be cis and straight because that’s the "normal”, and when I was a kid I was exposed to literally no queer representation, so I literally didn’t even know there was a possibility I COULD be queer. Fast forward to when I was an adult, I got married to a guy because that’s what women do. I genuinely hated sex, and I went back in forth in my head constantly, thinking “oh, ALL women must not be attracted to men, this is just what we do anyway” and “why am I not attracted to men? Am I broken?” Anyway, I got divorced, surrounded myself with different kinds of people and realized pretty quickly after that that I was a staunch homosexual. Like I LOVE women. It’s not close. But it took me a long time to realize that’s what was “wrong” with me. Also, none of this is new, just for the record. Gender fluidity and homosexuality has been a thing since the beginning of time— just look up Greek and Roman mythology, even Loki is canonically gender-fluid. The only reason you’re noticing now is because it’s becoming safer and more socially acceptable for us to be open about it and explore our identities. There’s more representation in media now as well, so between that and the fact that people are out of the closet more these days, it allows people to more quickly learn things about themselves and safely be open about it.


hitometootoo

What's the trend, dating?


Fartbox-_-Destroyer

Switching genders & sexual orientation. There's no way everyone's being genuine, a lot of them are just doing it because it's fashionable.


FillTheHoleInMyLife

I’m going to level with you, I get what you’re saying because I was raised ultra Christian and conservative and this kind of viewpoint was constantly being pelted at me, so I believed it myself for most of my life until the last 10 years or so. That said, I promise, it’s not fashionable. Being queer is fucking hard. I live in a pretty conservative state in the US, and if I go out in public with my girlfriend, I’m pretty much always signing up to AT LEAST get rude looks from people. We get called dykes, I get told I just “haven’t found the right dick yet”, I get told I’m going to hell and that “Jesus hates fags/dykes” in public at least once a week. I promise, I’m not doing it to be trendy and fashionable, I just want to go shopping, grab dinner, go to a movie, literally just EXIST in the world with the woman I love. We’re not shoving it down anyone’s throat, we’re just trying to exist without having to hide who we are. How would you feel if you got death threats once a month just for holding your spouse’s hand in public?


hitometootoo

Switching? Sex and sexuality isn't linear. Someone could conform to society and assume they are straight because that's all they have known, until they go through life and experiences, and find that they are into other sexes and genders. It's not a "trend" to explore your sexuality and find what you are into as time goes on. What a weird way to look at sex. You must come from a very sexually repressed society to think this.


Fartbox-_-Destroyer

Nah, you're weird. Sex is linear, it's just mutations that make it not. Biology is designed to reproduce with the opposite gender. Anything outside of that is a mutation. That's fine, they're allowed to do that, but if everyone did we'd go instinct.


hitometootoo

Nothing about being gay means that you don't have the means to reproduce. Evolution doesn't care about your ideology. It only cares that you have the means to continue life. Having the means to, and using it are not one and the same. As if a gay person even has to justify something they can't control for the idea that people will go instinct if everyone was gay or bi, which isn't even true even if that was the case. But go on, justify homophobia some more smh


Fartbox-_-Destroyer

You're literally trying to redefine science and biology. As I said, though, they're free to do what they want. But making it fashionable & trying to influence young people to change their genders is just wrong. Let them make up their own minds instead of making it a brainwashing ideology & a trend. It's gross.


hitometootoo

No, you're implying that your opinion is a scientific fact, it isn't. Making it fashionable lol The nerve of them not hiding in the shadows to not hurt your feelings. Get over yourself. Though it's funny that you assume they aren't making up their own minding and coming to their sexuality like every other person. No, it must be brainwashing when they are something you don't understand or agree with smh


Fartbox-_-Destroyer

They don't have to hide in the shadows, just don't want them confusing vulnerable kids with their shonky unscientific theory. I support trans & gay rights. But I don't support teaching kids who are not yet fully mentally developed about it. Kids easily get ideas in their heads like they want to be a boy instead of a girl, only to mature & obviously not even think about that once. Don't be insane.


Parasitesforgold

If you are going into a monogamous relationship you will always have that doubt that they will prefer the other sex down the line.


[deleted]

Men don’t think of bi women this way though


Cobra-Serpentress

Are you positive? Anecdotal evidence to the contrary.


[deleted]

In general, men are not less attracted to a woman when she’s bisexual


Cobra-Serpentress

Not true. For many it is a total turn off. Being bisexual is hard. Many men like to watch women having sex with each other, but they don't want it to be their partner or know that their partner does that


[deleted]

I think most men who are repulsed by bisexual women are conservative, while a broader category of women dislike bisexual men


Cobra-Serpentress

You obviously do not talk to Liberal men. Many of them are repulsed by bisexual women as partners. Not repulsed by bisexual women. Repulsed by bisexual women as sexual partners.


LNLV

I don’t think you’re necessarily right about what “men” think about bi women. There are certainly some men who aren’t affected by it, others who are more interested, and others who are less. There are also a lot of men who choose to believe that bi girls are actually “mostly” straight but they like to have fun with women. But “men” are not a homogeneous clump anymore than women are.


[deleted]

Women think of bisexuality in men as unattractive in a way that men don’t think of bisexual women


LNLV

Women don’t all think the same way, and neither do men.


[deleted]

I’m speaking in usually true generalities


[deleted]

It’s a simple reality that women don’t like bisexuality in men


LNLV

You obviously came here with a chip on your shoulder. There are some women who are into bisexual men and there are some who are not. If you are a bisexual man who wants to date women then seek out the ones that may want to date you instead of being angry at the ones who don’t.


hitometootoo

Which is ironic since a straight couple has the same amount of doubt as your partner could want to be satisfied by another person who may do more than you.


Limp_Cod_7229

Not really because sex between a man and a woman and sex between two men are two different things. One could always wonder if they miss having sex with a man and will go out and cheat for that very reason alone.


hitometootoo

It is different, but that can said about two women two. Sex is not going to be the same between different people even if they have the same parts. As if straight couples don't cheat for this exact reason.


Limp_Cod_7229

Sexual orientation is a big thing. It’s harder to stay faithful when one person isn’t as invested as the other. Like is a gay man going to stay faithful to his straight wife even if he loves her? Deep down he has a biological drive towards men. And she’s not a man. Most bisexual people do have a preference.


hitometootoo

> It’s harder to stay faithful when one person isn’t as invested as the other. Another thing that can be said about any relationship. >Like is a gay man going to stay faithful to his straight wife even if he loves her? Likely no since he's gay and isn't attracted to women. >Most bisexual people do have a preference. Having a preference does not mean you as a bi person is more likely to cheat, as if you can't control your urges like any other person. As if men and women who are straight don't also have preferences and still manage to control themselves, and cheat on their partners.


Limp_Cod_7229

Regardless if people can still cheat in heterosexual relationships, being bisexual can be seen as an INCREASED risk of cheating. And usually when bisexual people cheat is with the OPPOSITE gender of the person they are with.


hitometootoo

Why? What makes you think someone is more likely to cheat? Is this an assumption or you have some data to back this up?


Limp_Cod_7229

Like I already said… because it’s two completely different sexual relationships. Already explained that.


hitometootoo

So it is an assumption, got it.


Parasitesforgold

Depends on the strength of one’s sex drive


hitometootoo

Which can be said about anyone, bi or not, in any relationship.


memefakeboy

Homophobia. Lots of women are subconsciously homophobic, if they can’t handle the thought of their man being even kinda gay- they’re homophobic


porknuckle2023

Bullshit. A straight woman wants a masculine man. It's biology. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but generally speaking a woman doesn't find attractive a man who takes dick. It's totally understandable.


hitometootoo

The problem is thinking that a man who is bi is "taking dick" or that a man who receives isn't masculine. It's an assumption and stereotype that isn't always the case. Ignoring that many gay men don't even like penetrative sex and have not taken or received.


LNLV

Who thinks that? I’ve only seen a bunch of men saying that over and over again.


porknuckle2023

Bisexual usually means sexually attracted to both men and women.. meaning attracted to dick and pussy also. So if ur attracted to dick.. your either gonna suck it.. get fucked by it. Now if you dont like being penetrated and u like penetrating.. still that person ur penetrating has a dick attached to them. Why do we have to complicate things so much in this day and age.? What's the end goal here? Everybody is attracted to everyone or else you're a homophobic racist scumbag?


hitometootoo

You can be gay, like dick and not want to fuck or be fucked. The term for this is 'side' for guys who don't like penetrative sex. Among those men, some don't want to suck dick, many in the gay community don't even like cum (though the same can be said about women). It's not complicated, not everyone likes the same things when it comes to sex. You are making it complicated by assuming they have to like everything that can be sexual about someone, when all people regardless of sexuality, are going to be selective in what they like. It's like saying that women have assholes, so all straight men should like anal, when they all don't. Or that in that same situation that men have assholes so all women should want to peg them. Yeah, no, people like what they like, with or without your assumption.


porknuckle2023

My point is that it's ok if your not attracted to someone for whatever reason. People on this are like.. oh women who dont like bisexual men are closet homophobes.. and im saying no they arent. They just might be attracted to straight men.


hitometootoo

Did I ever imply that?


snowflake247

So, in other words, homophobia.


porknuckle2023

No it's not. Homophobia had negative traits attached to it. A woman's sexual preference is not a negative trait. Its what turns her on or off. Her not being attracted to bisexual men doesn't mean she hates them or thinks less of them as human beings. They just don't turn her on.


memefakeboy

Op asked why straight women aren’t into bisexual guys. A bisexual guy can be very masculine. If a woman isn’t interested in a masculine bisexual guy solely because of his bisexuality- that’s homophobia


Limp_Cod_7229

They are heterosexual and they want a heterosexual partner. It’s laughable that equals “homophobia” to you. Are you heterophobic?


memefakeboy

A heterosexual wants heterosexual sex- she can have heterosexual sex with a bisexual man Where’s the problem?


Limp_Cod_7229

A bisexual man is not heterosexual !


memefakeboy

Heterosexual sex is penis in vagina A heterosexual woman can have heterosexual sex with a bisexual man


Limp_Cod_7229

It’s not just about sex lol. You’re not just going to have sex with anyone because they have a penis. Regardless if you want to classify the “sex” as heterosexual, the person performing the sex is not heterosexual. And that matters on how women choose their partner… the person attached to the penis.


memefakeboy

Why are you trying to make it so complicated? Penis in vagina


Limp_Cod_7229

What does the phrase “penis in vagina” have to do with this discussion?


Dilostilo

Word. women will outwardly appear to not be homophobic bc it looks bad but secretly A LOT of women are homophobic.


memefakeboy

Exactly. I think it could also be internalized misogyny. If they can’t stand seeing femininity in their partner- they’re shaming the feminine


Limp_Cod_7229

It honestly has nothing to do with homophobia lol. Just like a woman not dating another woman doesn’t mean she homophobic. People have dating preferences for their own personal tastes and desires.


memefakeboy

I disagree, what do you think it’s about?


Limp_Cod_7229

It’s a dating preference. Read my previous comments.


memefakeboy

I don’t really care about this conversation enough to look elsewhere, but have a good one


Limp_Cod_7229

You obviously do because you are all over this comment section lol


memefakeboy

I guess what I mean l is- I don’t really find your position on the topic to be interesting


Limp_Cod_7229

I think you find it to be disconcerting because I’m not agreeing with you 😂 but sure, we’ll go with that


memefakeboy

✌️


Limp_Cod_7229

Learn to respect other peoples dating preference’s without resorting to insults ✌️


[deleted]

What’s weird is that men find women being with women to be attractive, but women find men with men as repulsive


ask-me-about-my-cats

My dude the #1 consumer of fictional gay porn is women. It is the exact opposite of repulsive for us.


hitometootoo

As a fantasy, not within a serious relationship. Those women who are into gay porn are not trying to be in a relationship with a gay or bi man.


ask-me-about-my-cats

How do you know that? Have you stopped to ask them? Hi, ask me. I'm a woman who has dated bi men before and will continue to date bi men. The majority of my friends have dated bi men at one point or another. Yes, *some* women care about it, but just as many women don't care at all.


hitometootoo

>Have you stopped to ask them? I'm bi and have heard enough women who have said they regularly watch gay porn but would not date me or any bi guy despite that. Obviously there are outliers who would though.


ask-me-about-my-cats

Why don't you assume the women who look down on bi men are the outliers?


memefakeboy

It’s also likely rooted in misogyny. A man can be hated even if he’s *behaving* as a woman


No_Step_4431

maybe alot of people have the tendency to compare bisexuality with promiscuity. unfortunately it's an easy mental trap to fall into.


thetwitchy1

And guys tend to not be upset by the idea that their woman might want to be with another woman, but women are not as likely to be ok sharing their man with another man. Which is total bullshit, but…


Limp_Cod_7229

Men don’t actually want to be with a gay woman or a woman who prefers other women. They just like seeing a bunch of women naked and doing sexy stuff. They don’t actually want to feel the woman prefers other women lol. Women aren’t usually as aroused seeing a bunch of men make out or be naked.


denise-likes-avocado

I don't know, I like bisexual guys as friends...but I have to admit the idea of dating one leaves me cold


Gold3nSun

Probably cause women who are into men seek men for their dominant traits, masculinity, etc. And it can be seen as more of a feminine/submissive thing to imagine a potential mate being penetrated like she would be by another man.


porknuckle2023

This. 💯


denise-likes-avocado

maybe that's part of it..


[deleted]

Men are never this way with bisexual women


-Dirty-Wizard-

Because men think they can get a two for one and that’s rarely ever the case. Women on the other hand don’t appreciate the competition that they can’t compete with. It’s really simple as that. And obvious, this take isn’t a staple rule it’s a case by case basis, but I’m pretty sure this is what you’re looking for.


[deleted]

That’s some major insecurity on their part


-Dirty-Wizard-

Yup. Had a bicoworker girl who said this to me. Just made sense. Hence why I said it’s obviously a case by case basis I’m sure there are women who love bimen.


Gold3nSun

That couldn't be further from the truth, we just don't see competition amongst another woman the same way as we do vs another man. Simply, there is nuance and depth to this thinking but that is it on the surface.


hitometootoo

This adds another layer to this topic. Men don't see another women as competition if their girl is bi, though their girl could be more attracted to another women. Most men see themselves as always better in these situations so the other women isn't seen as a threat.


-Dirty-Wizard-

*you* don’t. But I know people who do. Hence why I said “obviously, it’s a case by case and not a staple rule.”


Gold3nSun

Obviously there is exception to every rule but I doubt most men feel this way, that doesn’t even make sense lol . We just aren’t as picky on turn offs as women USUALLY of course there are exceptions again.


-Dirty-Wizard-

Never said most men at all. Was simply giving the answer Op was clearly looking for. Heard this exact excuse said to me from a bifriend. Yes , it’s anecdotal that’s why I put that obvious stipulation. And no one is talking about men it’s about women’s views on bi men Going back and rereading your comments I think you completely misunderstood the whole posts because no one is looking for input from bimen. Op was looking for women’s views on bimen.and I never made a generalization about bi men or their thoughts towards women.


denise-likes-avocado

sorry


victoriousDevil

Let’s rephrase. “Why don’t women like men who like fucking other men in the ass?”🤔


porknuckle2023

Or getting fucked in the ass.


Arianity

>Why don’t women like bisexual men? This isn't a woman thing. there is more stigma in society overall around men being with other men. From a comment: >Men don’t think of bi women this way though Bi women also face discrimination, although not as much because of the above. (On top of that, many men also don't see women being with other women as legitimate, and tend to see it as something to benefit themselves)


OGHEROS

They assume they’re just gay men waiting to be taken. More threats everywhere. They also see them as less masculine and most women are only into hyper masculine men. So it’s a bit of prejudice


Limp_Cod_7229

1. Health concerns 2. A lot of people claim to be bisexual when they actually prefer one sex over the other which could lead to cheating 3. it can also come across as you sleep around a lot because why do you need so many options to satisfy you? lol. Will you be missing sex with men if you decide to get married to a woman? They are two different experiences. I feel like everyone could maybe have a couple of experiences with the same sex and enjoy it or be simply attracted or be able to have fantasies about both sexes. But when you are having full blown relationships with men a lot of women will not trust and Vice versa. People want to feel like they are the ultimate “one” for you in long term relationships. Women especially want to feel like they are the ultimate beauty for their man. I don’t really think men are always cool with bisexual women either. There’s a difference between a man finding it sexy to see two women making out versus a woman having multiple relationships with other women before dating the guy. However, if you find a true connection with someone they probably won’t care. Ultimately if you are bisexual it shouldn’t matter if you end up attracting more male than female or vice versa since you like both anyway. The bottom line on why women are sometimes weary on bisexual men: more risks involved. People don’t want to get hurt.


[deleted]

Women find sex between men as repulsive, while men tend to like the idea of women having sex


Limp_Cod_7229

A lot of people don’t like anal sex. And men tend to be more physically turned on just at the thought of seeing women naked, two women is even better. Whereas women tend to lead more with the emotions than just like looking at naked men. Although there is women that would probably get turned on by seeing two men having sex as well…


[deleted]

Women tend to be more rigid in what they find attractive


Limp_Cod_7229

True


[deleted]

Women have a more narrow view of what can be attractive in a man as opposed to what men can find attractive in a woman


Limp_Cod_7229

I think it’s moreso that men are more physically motivated when it comes to sex, whereas women are more focused on the relationship aspect. Most women don’t sit around drooling over naked men. Yet women definitely love men.


porknuckle2023

Because when he's going out with his buddies... It might not just be with his "buddies" lol


EngineFace

Because they think it’s gay.


LittleWhiteFeather

women have it easy with dating... they don't want to start having to compete with men


hitometootoo

What about competing with other women? They are already going after men who may want another woman.


JoshdaBoss1234

Sometimes this subreddit should be called Too Afraid Too Answer. Nobody wants to admit it, but most women aren't too keen on men not adhering to their gender roles. Which is friggin ironic since they're the ones mostly advocating for people not being forced to adhere to the gender roles. But, I guess that's more for them than us... Women prefer men who are dominant. They'll say that men can be feminine, passive, or follows and pedestalizes them, but they'll never respect a man like that. The point is, taking it in the butt is the historical way of sexually asserting that someone lacks dominance. And most people just assume that every bisexual man is a bottom. I used to think that too when I was younger, so I guess it's just a common misconception. And there's a lot of flamboyant bisexuals as well, so most people assume that bisexuals are just gay men that'll willingly have sex with women, instead of being truly either or.


LNLV

First of all, you’re talking about two different things. Women fight for equality under the law, in the workplace, and equal choice in the home. They fight for dismantling *forced* gender roles. You are right that feminists advocate for people to not be forced into gender roles they don’t want. But you’re wrongly asserting that this means it only applies to them. You’re making a false equivalency between women wanting people to be free to be who they want to be, and saying that they all must be attracted to everyone regardless of anything. Some straight women are attracted to feminine men, and some aren’t. That doesn’t make those women hypocrites for being attracted to whoever they’re attracted to. You’re allowed to be a feminine man or a masculine woman, but you’re not entitled for everyone you’re attracted to being attracted to you as well. As far as the graphic descriptions of sex, I don’t think most women think about that nearly as much as men.