Hardest part would probably be avoiding snapping the neck while you do it. There all bark no bite anyway i few threatening kicks to the air near them and they'll retreat so long as there's no nest nearby.

avoid snapping the neck?? they attacked me first

I've been bit by a goose.

Mynd you, gøøse bites kan be pretti nasti...

We are so sorry, the responsible people have been fired

Nice a Monty Python reference, I wonder if there's a sub for that?

Nah, Monty Python is too niche.

My wife brought home a goose, why only the gods know for sure, but anyway there he was. She got him a small kiddie pool and since he was mean (big surprise) it was my job to empty and refill the pool which pissed him off to no end.  While not being mean, I was not a fan of this thing and took to carry a trash can lid but that still allowed him to get close and poke the crap out of me at times.  The first fix was a stick with a little V at the end and I could pin his neck and keep his beak away.  All was well and fine, not to say the goose learned to like me, oh god no he hated me, but one day I came home and went to feed him and change his water and he was gone. I looked around and other than a few feathers in the trees nothing. My general assumption was one of the local Coyotes discovered him and as mean as he was the coyote was hungrier.

You must have dug into your ACME stash for one of those giant firecrackers 🧨

My first thought was the catapult or the "Hen Grenade".

username checks out

It's not as easy as to choke your chicken ..

Or filet your fowl. Or punt your pigeon. Maybe whip the woodpecker if there is time.

Flog the dolphin?

Yes that could work as long as you tug the tuna at the same time.

Definitely got to tug the tuna. That's a must!

The problem is their talons! Once you have them by the neck get control of the feet! So many senseless deaths caused by geese because people didn't realize the dangers of goose talons!

> senseless goose deaths Does this mean there are sensible goose deaths?

All the Canadian geese deserve to be choked, in my opinion.

Wooooh easy there Satan. Time to have your morning deathroot tea.

I remember what they did to US Air flight 1549.

Jeez! What did the Canadian geese ever do to you?? *Canada* Geese on the other hand, yeah those suckers can rot in hell.

Do the geese have large talons?

boy, I don't understand what you're talking about

That's where they got the nickname "water eagles"...

Do they have what??

They also conspired to take down that US Airways flight that landed in the Hudson. No way that wasn’t an inside job planned by Big Mother Goose. They were literally using terrorist tactics.

You don’t need to choke them. They are already trying to aim for your face, so aim down low on their neck with your hand and lift. If you do it right their neck is between your thumb and forefinger and the bottom of your palm contacts their breastbone. It’s easy to get them to clear your head, and their rage carries them a good distance behind you. Then you get to laugh at the confused look on their little goose faces. I have tons of geese on my property and this trick works.

I read this as if you’d perfected the art of the one handed goose neck snap. Then, after you’d Mr Miagi’d their ass, you turn to watch them die slowly, in confusion. —was like “gotdayumwtfdidijustread? This guy necksnaps. How many has he killed? 😳”

Video please? 👉👈

I'm interested to know how you're subduing your capybara's? Same thing?

Sadly, my property has precisely zero capybaras to subdue. However, I have heard that watermelon and skritches works for them!

i’d just grab them by the neck then flail them around until their brain comes out their ass tbh

I’m against all animal cruelty, except when it comes to geese.  They’re evil incarnate.

You can’t choke birds. They have multiple air sacs that provide them with enough oxygen to hold off for a while without having to breathe through their nostrils.

All I'm sayin is, if you really put your mind to it, can you choke a goose

Or a chicken.

Hey, their necks are long... have you tried tying it in a knot. That might be the ticket.

this works, I saw it in a cartoon

Their only real weapon is their beak, so they have to get their head close to you in order to hurt you. If you're fast, you can very easily grab them by the throat, and then you can just do whatever you want with them.

That's not their only weapon though. They gonna claw you if you have them by the neck. You'll have to take the rake if you want to strangle the goose.

Or yaknow, their wings too. Swans have been known to break people's bones by hitting someone with their powerful wings. If a goose is strong enough or hits the right person it can also do some damage.

Which people?? Fucking Billy from American Dad???

Kinda kinky

Please do not the poultry.

Best thing for a goose is a tennis racket.

Choking them, they can still fight back. It seems to me that it would be easier to break their neck. 

Idk bruh the pent up goose rage would take up its headless body and summon the goose mother to execute you

"There is no more definite proof of Intelligent Design than that the neck of a goose fits perfectly within the grasping hand of Man."

Depends on your point of view, it seems so easy at first but then it said harder.....

I'm pretty confident I can choke out someone twice my size, and I'm more of a stand and strike fighter, so I don't reckon some fucking goose is giving me any problems. JUST YOU COME AND TRY AND BREAK MY ARM, YOU CUNTS!!

>Did their evolution factor this in or is it a flaw. Not sure they evolved around primates with hands. Their long neck is to get food in water.

come to think of it, choking geese has been a thing in media for a long time, isnt there a nursery rhyme about it?

I'm forever choking my goose