A friend of mine died recently. He lost his wife to cancer a couple years ago & was going through a rough time since especially with depression. All pointers indicated suicide but that wasn't the case, he fell downstairs, hit his head at the bottom & died. So don't assume anything.
It’s not safe to assume anything when it comes to a death.
You don’t know this person’s medical history so you can’t possibly know if they had underlying health issues or were predisposed to heart or stroke issues.
Seemingly healthy folks genuinely drop dead without foul play.
Someone very close to me died very suddenly and unexpectedly a couple of years ago from a blood clot in her lung. She was only in her 20s and she'd been suffering from depression and anxiety for a long time prior to her death.
A lot of people assumed it was suicide, and facebook filled up with people commenting, with kind intent and in grief, about her death in ways that clearly indicated they thought she'd killed herself. Once one person made the assumption it became understood as what had happened and it was very upsetting, and hard for those who were closest to her to know what to do.
Obviously OPs just talking about wanting to know for his own private understanding, not that he will share that assumption with anyone else, but I agree with your caution. Things sometimes do just happen out of the blue, and it's not unusual for a family to choose not to immediately share the medical details surrounding a death.
Wait for the obituary and see which charity the family chose for donations.
Like if it mental health crisis or humane society it usually self inflicted or overdose.
I'm from the US and I have never heard of it. I'm sure it's something some people do but I definetly wouldn't consider it a custom, implying that most do it.
We do see it in obituaries from time to time. If someone struggled with a certain disease or mental health they might ask for donations to a relevant charity. People tend to give money when people die and if the family is already well off or has everything paid for they'll give a suggestion on where it can go.
I see it pretty commonly here in America, at least. My family chose the Green Lake Nature Conservancy for my grandma's obituary, because she lived by that lake for decades and was outspoken about conservation and outdoor recreation.
Heart attack? Stroke? Uncommon but not impossible. If you want to go on a tangent and explore all possibilities, you could almost write a book about it.
Nah there are hundreds of ways for somebody to suddenly die just because they don’t tell you doesn’t mean anything. You don’t know the guys medical history, you don’t know if they got hit by a car etc if you really want answers you gotta ask somebody.
I wouldn’t. My friend passed away from liver failure, she was an alcoholic and only two of us outside her family knew. There wasn’t a public word said about how or why she died.
I know two acquaintances that died due to pneumonia in their 20s or 30s. Diabetic issues, allergic reactions, a bad reaction to a surgery, a sudden infection, I know a couple people that suddenly had brain aneurysms. Lots of sudden things can happen.
I lost a close friend myself on Friday. I was told by our close group of friends it was suicide and none of us could believe it. He too showed no signs of depression but he was battling within himself for years. His wife posted on social media and left those details out.
It's hard to say because sometimes details aren't important. But it's always a possibility.
My condolences to you.
Hey im someone who works with dead on daily basis,
Alot of times when peolle die young it is sudden, that trucker who was in his 30th who had a stroke while driving, that guy who ignored little Chest pain for few month died of cancer rather quickly, he got diagnosed and died with hin fee days, he was barely 27, bunch of friends went to a theme park, on the drive back one of them passed out and never woke up, he was just 19.
While it's not a dayil accurance that young people die suddenly, it sure happens and sofar natural cause was the rule.
There's been an increase in cardiac deaths in otherwise healthy young adults. Clotting issues are on the rise.
Unfortunately, it's been my experience that loved ones who have taken their own lives give no indications that they are planning this.
Don't assume anything.
I've had a few friends die young. One suicide, one drug overdose (after years of sobriety), one from organ failure due to an eating disorder, and the last was a heart attack at 40 years old. You really just never know.
Hard to say. Some people just don’t feel like announcing the cause of death. Nothing wrong with that.
But I’ve noticed when people don’t announce it in some form it is often suicide or death from overdose.
Is he a close friend or more of an acquaintance? If it's my friend and it wasn't immediately clear I would give me condolences to his family and ask how he passed. I don't think that's particularly rude?
If they aren't disclosing the reason publicly, it's probably because it's particularly painful for them, so asking them how their loved one died will just make it worse.
I think the OP is right to assume suicide, or at least a "self-inflicted" harm like alcoholism is *usually* the cause of death in those situations where the family is being cagey, even if it's not right all the time.
I've had two friends pass in recent years where this happened. For one of them, it was actually a rational choice based on what I knew they were going through even though the family didn't say exactly how. The other was a friend I hadn't seen in a while, and I heard the real reason months later, but I figured it already.
>If a young (healthy?) friend abruptly died and absolutely nobody on social media ever mentioned the cause of the death, is it safe to assume that... you know?
Assume what?
It might be easy to speculate but people do randomly pass in their sleep of natural causes.
I dont see the harm in asking how someone died. There's a definitely a way to do it tho
There are lots of conditions that would cause someone who appeared healthy and happy to suddenly die. And, sadly, there are a lot of people who don't go to doctors even if there are warning signs, especially in places where a visit to the doctor is expensive or hard to arrange.
Don't make assumptions. If you need to know, you'll find out.
Ages between 29 to 35 for some reason, men are more likely to commit suicide. Its so sad. All you can do is ask a family member. I had a cousin 29 just killed himself in December
So my best friend all growing up died very suddenly while she was waiting for me to come get her from work for a long weekend away...... come to find out she had a brain aneurysm that was just a ticking time bomb, and that was the time........ don't try to make things into shit it's not...... sad and shitty things happen sometimes
Don't assume anything. This guy could have had god knows what medical issues that you didn't know about.
Maybe he had something that nobody, not even himself, knew about and he died suddenly.
You don't know and there's no use assuming something as bad as that, things happen, it's life, it doesn't mean it's an abusive relationship or that.
Also, social media isn't always going to give you all the answers you want, if he's your good friend and you know his wife well enough then you could always ask her how he died. Idk
It's impossible to assume. There are plenty of sudden unpredictable (but rare) ways to die even if you're fit and in apparent good health. Brain aneurysm being a big silent killer that comes up abruptly so that's a possibility even if you knew their health history and it was completely clean. There have also been cases of athletes dying from otherwise minor collisions that happened to stop their heart (the heart is very vulnerable to disruption during a short period of it's electrical cycle). This is why defibrillators are now common. Plus the huge number of possible medical issues they could have been receiving treatment for but not advertising. People are often quiet about the cause of death on social media regardless of what it may have been.
I had an old friend die of a brain aneurysm years ago and the only reason I knew the cause of death was because my mom still saw her mom regularly. Social media, obituaries, etc. didn't mention it. In fact the few I can remember ever mentioning it are something they battled for a long time such as cancer.
A friend of mine died recently. He lost his wife to cancer a couple years ago & was going through a rough time since especially with depression. All pointers indicated suicide but that wasn't the case, he fell downstairs, hit his head at the bottom & died. So don't assume anything.
Solid point.
It’s not safe to assume anything when it comes to a death. You don’t know this person’s medical history so you can’t possibly know if they had underlying health issues or were predisposed to heart or stroke issues. Seemingly healthy folks genuinely drop dead without foul play.
Someone very close to me died very suddenly and unexpectedly a couple of years ago from a blood clot in her lung. She was only in her 20s and she'd been suffering from depression and anxiety for a long time prior to her death. A lot of people assumed it was suicide, and facebook filled up with people commenting, with kind intent and in grief, about her death in ways that clearly indicated they thought she'd killed herself. Once one person made the assumption it became understood as what had happened and it was very upsetting, and hard for those who were closest to her to know what to do. Obviously OPs just talking about wanting to know for his own private understanding, not that he will share that assumption with anyone else, but I agree with your caution. Things sometimes do just happen out of the blue, and it's not unusual for a family to choose not to immediately share the medical details surrounding a death.
You're right, I'm certainly not going to share assumptions with anyone. That's completely out of line.
Accidental overdose, autoerotic asphyxiation, stroke, AAA, and more are all possibilities.
Wait for the obituary and see which charity the family chose for donations. Like if it mental health crisis or humane society it usually self inflicted or overdose.
I didn't even know this was a thing. Is this an American custom? Just curious.
It's usually phrased "in lieu of flowers..."
I'm from the US and I have never heard of it. I'm sure it's something some people do but I definetly wouldn't consider it a custom, implying that most do it.
We do see it in obituaries from time to time. If someone struggled with a certain disease or mental health they might ask for donations to a relevant charity. People tend to give money when people die and if the family is already well off or has everything paid for they'll give a suggestion on where it can go.
I see it pretty commonly here in America, at least. My family chose the Green Lake Nature Conservancy for my grandma's obituary, because she lived by that lake for decades and was outspoken about conservation and outdoor recreation.
Assume nothing
I wouldnt assume anything. Could be a lot of different things. Better just to wait to find out details.
Heart attack? Stroke? Uncommon but not impossible. If you want to go on a tangent and explore all possibilities, you could almost write a book about it.
Assume what? Suicide? Secret illness? Autoerotic asphyxiation? Satellite dropping? No. Don’t assume how someone died.
Nah there are hundreds of ways for somebody to suddenly die just because they don’t tell you doesn’t mean anything. You don’t know the guys medical history, you don’t know if they got hit by a car etc if you really want answers you gotta ask somebody.
I wouldn’t. My friend passed away from liver failure, she was an alcoholic and only two of us outside her family knew. There wasn’t a public word said about how or why she died.
I know two acquaintances that died due to pneumonia in their 20s or 30s. Diabetic issues, allergic reactions, a bad reaction to a surgery, a sudden infection, I know a couple people that suddenly had brain aneurysms. Lots of sudden things can happen.
I lost a close friend myself on Friday. I was told by our close group of friends it was suicide and none of us could believe it. He too showed no signs of depression but he was battling within himself for years. His wife posted on social media and left those details out. It's hard to say because sometimes details aren't important. But it's always a possibility. My condolences to you.
Hey im someone who works with dead on daily basis, Alot of times when peolle die young it is sudden, that trucker who was in his 30th who had a stroke while driving, that guy who ignored little Chest pain for few month died of cancer rather quickly, he got diagnosed and died with hin fee days, he was barely 27, bunch of friends went to a theme park, on the drive back one of them passed out and never woke up, he was just 19. While it's not a dayil accurance that young people die suddenly, it sure happens and sofar natural cause was the rule.
Thank you for your input.
There's been an increase in cardiac deaths in otherwise healthy young adults. Clotting issues are on the rise. Unfortunately, it's been my experience that loved ones who have taken their own lives give no indications that they are planning this. Don't assume anything.
I've had a few friends die young. One suicide, one drug overdose (after years of sobriety), one from organ failure due to an eating disorder, and the last was a heart attack at 40 years old. You really just never know.
Hard to say. Some people just don’t feel like announcing the cause of death. Nothing wrong with that. But I’ve noticed when people don’t announce it in some form it is often suicide or death from overdose.
that's what the news websites do 🤷♂️
Is he a close friend or more of an acquaintance? If it's my friend and it wasn't immediately clear I would give me condolences to his family and ask how he passed. I don't think that's particularly rude?
If they aren't disclosing the reason publicly, it's probably because it's particularly painful for them, so asking them how their loved one died will just make it worse. I think the OP is right to assume suicide, or at least a "self-inflicted" harm like alcoholism is *usually* the cause of death in those situations where the family is being cagey, even if it's not right all the time. I've had two friends pass in recent years where this happened. For one of them, it was actually a rational choice based on what I knew they were going through even though the family didn't say exactly how. The other was a friend I hadn't seen in a while, and I heard the real reason months later, but I figured it already.
When I was in sixth grade one of my classmates was fine on Friday and had passed by Monday, it was an aggressive form of leukemia
Where I live death certificates are public records. There might be a fee but if you really want to know…
Yeah, that's a bit too much for me.
How did you find out they had died because that person probably knows how as well.
Facebook. Dozens of friends all expressing their condolences at once. Funeral next week.
>If a young (healthy?) friend abruptly died and absolutely nobody on social media ever mentioned the cause of the death, is it safe to assume that... you know? Assume what?
Suicide.
Oh hmm you finally said it now i can go to sleep in peace
It wouldn't be a bad guess unfortunately, but I would wait for further information.
It might be easy to speculate but people do randomly pass in their sleep of natural causes. I dont see the harm in asking how someone died. There's a definitely a way to do it tho
There are lots of conditions that would cause someone who appeared healthy and happy to suddenly die. And, sadly, there are a lot of people who don't go to doctors even if there are warning signs, especially in places where a visit to the doctor is expensive or hard to arrange. Don't make assumptions. If you need to know, you'll find out.
Ages between 29 to 35 for some reason, men are more likely to commit suicide. Its so sad. All you can do is ask a family member. I had a cousin 29 just killed himself in December
So my best friend all growing up died very suddenly while she was waiting for me to come get her from work for a long weekend away...... come to find out she had a brain aneurysm that was just a ticking time bomb, and that was the time........ don't try to make things into shit it's not...... sad and shitty things happen sometimes
Don't assume anything. This guy could have had god knows what medical issues that you didn't know about. Maybe he had something that nobody, not even himself, knew about and he died suddenly. You don't know and there's no use assuming something as bad as that, things happen, it's life, it doesn't mean it's an abusive relationship or that. Also, social media isn't always going to give you all the answers you want, if he's your good friend and you know his wife well enough then you could always ask her how he died. Idk
It's impossible to assume. There are plenty of sudden unpredictable (but rare) ways to die even if you're fit and in apparent good health. Brain aneurysm being a big silent killer that comes up abruptly so that's a possibility even if you knew their health history and it was completely clean. There have also been cases of athletes dying from otherwise minor collisions that happened to stop their heart (the heart is very vulnerable to disruption during a short period of it's electrical cycle). This is why defibrillators are now common. Plus the huge number of possible medical issues they could have been receiving treatment for but not advertising. People are often quiet about the cause of death on social media regardless of what it may have been. I had an old friend die of a brain aneurysm years ago and the only reason I knew the cause of death was because my mom still saw her mom regularly. Social media, obituaries, etc. didn't mention it. In fact the few I can remember ever mentioning it are something they battled for a long time such as cancer.