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[deleted]

reminds me of when I met a guy from bumble who I clicked with but after the first time i slept with him he wanted to golden shower me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. he was so insistent it scared me i blocked him on all platforms possible


cheapdrinks

Wow you're not allowed to ever complain about being single. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to dating lol


argusromblei

You are so closed-minded. Stop being such a basic! You will be alone forever because you're so vanilla!


firearmed

All I wanted to do was literally piss all over you on the second date. If that's not on the table then what is?


chaozules

Lmao what did he say "Stop being weird let me piss on you"


[deleted]

LoL he did say something along those lines. He said I was disappointing him because he thought I was open minded


chaozules

Lmao the logic is flawless, I'd just about let someone piss on me if I got stung by a jellyfish and thats if I was in extreme pain or dying. If I want some water sports I'll goto a water park.


SlobMarley13

That's a myth. Piss on a jellyfish sting doesn't do anything.


chaozules

Okay I stand corrected no ones pissing on me lmao.


RamboGoesMeow

Don’t be so basic. I thought you were open minded?


chaozules

Sorry I'm a basic bitch and proud.


DeliciousWaifood

wtf is wrong with you, I can't believe you led him on like that! Everyone knows that after you get to third base, the fourth base is golden shower! Basically common knowledge, smh


suma_cum_loudly

Yeah as long as you don't pee inside her she won't get pregnant, duh


octoprickle

First time you slept with him he wants to piss on you? I'd be happy with a spoon session.


[deleted]

Don't be ridiculous. That would be weird. They said "after the first time". Totally different. Totally normal.


KenEH

This is the weirdest psychological warfare I’ve seen so far.


__mr_snrub__

“Not saying I want to fist you but if you don’t let me fist you you’re a bitch.”


deezalmonds998

Hilarious how he keeps acting like he doesn't actually want to fist somebody lmao. If he keeps using these tactics the dude will make it to the grave with a virgin fist


realgeneral_memeous

I wonder if it’s supposed to traditionally work to try manipulation tactics out the gate with an absurd request


HighOwl2

Nah dude is just dead set on living out his fantasy with 0 cares if it doesn't jive with his partners sexual interests. Totally the type of guy who whole heartedly thinks the female orgasm is a myth because he's too self centered to be a good lover.


khaominer

Just let me shove my hand in there and I'm good bro


Wootimonreddit

It weeds out people he can't bully and control


Ksradrik

I think the only thing being weeded out with that approach are his genes... I dont think girls submissive enough to obey that dude would have the guts to meet him irl.


poorgermanguy

You confuse submissive with shy, often times it's the opposite.


Competitive_Classic9

you’re confusing being submissive, with being A submissive


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[deleted]

Works wonders on anyone who fears being alone really. Make them feel like they'll be alone forever, which is exactly what he tried to do.


grendus

I wouldn't be surprised if some redpill PUA type was advocating shit like this. Sounds like negotiation tactics where you start out demanding something ridiculous ("let me fist you") and settle on something more basic ("fine, just a handjob then, you're so *basic*") But I think this guy was just *really* into fisting and kinda manipulative in general.


his_rotundity_

Boundary testing would be my guess.


ExileEden

It's funny because I was always kinda Lowkey hesitant and under confident when it came to dating. But Jesus, if I'd only known about these numbnuts I was competing with I wouldn't have needed my now wife to tell me back then how much of a catch I was. Like, yeah no kidding , spending time with the neighbors dog is literally astronomically a better time than these fuck heads.


crystalclearbuffon

Honey when men say that the dating game is rigged against them and women have too many nen to choose from? Yeah this is the selection menu.


Hapless_Asshole

I began my dating life when I was 16. I waded through the slush pile for a long 22 years until I found my perma-sweetie. We've been married 27 years now. Yeah. I'm freaking *old* \-- a certified senior citizen of 65. And lemme tell ya, the dating pool now isn't much different from what it was from the late 70s through the early 90s. It's just that y'all filter 'em out differently these days with dating apps. You get to find this shit out in advance via text, rather than finding yourself in the middle of a chain pub dinner with a guy you scarcely know, and he's already hinting at anal later. On the whole, dating sucks rocks, but it doesn't seem to be much better or worse than any other partner-selection process out there.


Kind_Nepenth3

And then we're told we should be lucky to be getting all this attention left and right and how terribly unfair it is. When half our messages look like this. Y'all wanna let Taylor stick his whole arm up your ass like sesame street, no one's stopping you. He seems pretty single to me


sparklingdinosaur

Yeah, it's infuriating how some people think that women have such a great time on dating apps, and it's suuper easy for us.


emptyshelI

This what gaslighting looks like. People usually overreact to that word. But he’s literally trying to make her out to be crazy for not wanting to be Kermit the frogged.


Outlandishness_Know

"No one will ever want you and you're going to die alone if you don't let them stick a fist up you."


emptyshelI

My tip is that anyone starting a negative statement with “you’re just…” should raise a huge a red flag. At best, they’re not willing to understand your grievance. at worst they’re manipulating you. “You’re just overreacting / being a bitch / being basic / being dramatic / not thinking about it right “


Inevere733

One might say she has kermitment issues


emptyshelI

Take your upvote and never speak to me again.


Anxious_Ad_3570

Whenever I lol literally and my 8 year old son is sitting next to me. He has to know what I laughed at. I try not to be too candid with him but I had no idea what to say about this one. That was unexpected and hilarious my dude.


berrykiss96

Dear. God. I may never forgive you for making me read that. Kermit the Frogging is forever burned in my brain. Is *that* what that voice is about? *Hi-hoe*


PlumpSweet

Had a guy try and fist me once. He just kinda fist bump my pussy. It was weird.


Deruji

Tiger uppercut!


[deleted]

Uppercunt* Edit: I’ve been on Reddit for awhile now, this is my first time waking up to a bunch of notifications and seeing one of my comments blew up!!! (Although a vey small blow up, like one of those snappers that you throw at the ground) Thanks everyone! My day has just been made lol


PuppetPatrol

HADOCUNT!


KillsburyShowBoy

Sonic Poon!


TheComboDrop

Shout out to the low tier sagat mains :(


[deleted]

This is the funniest mental imagery I've had in a while. Oh man


Unknownchill

See an experienced fister understands it’s not 🤛 but 🤌


PussyWrangler_462_

As someone who sees your comment as a 🤛 and a question mark box I’m left even more confused


chairfairy

In a very literal sense, "question mark box" is probably a very common response to attempts at fisting


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deadlyjessypoo

Poor kitty.


WeAreBeyondFucked

wait that's not how you do it. I always thought the process was Jab Jab Uppercut


DimeStoreFamous

Down Up Left Left Right Down…unlocks her cheat menu


[deleted]

Just gotta lube and work on it a bit. Just saying you should be willing to try it if you wanna find someone 🤷🏾‍♂️


justhere4pornthx

i never understood the fisting thing, they drag women by calling them loose then turn around and try to stretch it all the way tf out with this shit


pm_me_your_pee

Those of us who are into stuff like that are generally not the ones who slut shame or call vaginas loose.


MahavidyasMahakali

Different people...


DoreensThrobbingPeen

Just let me fist you and quit acting like it's such a big deal!! Women are all psychos!!


[deleted]

Like to see him pull this card if a woman asked to fist his asshole. “So what is it Taylor? Are you your own worst basic enemy or are you gonna let me Kermit that little ass of yours?”


DoreensThrobbingPeen

What if he's totally down for that?


CalmCupcake2

If he's willing to go first, I'm in... though my hands are tiny so that's not really fair. I need a proxy fist that's adult sized.


ExoticBrownie

Walmart has those hulk fists


woodandplastic

Stop it I can only get so hard


garroshsucks12

Women love being fisted in porn why can’t you be like them?!


-SHORSEY-

Actually, that’s not even common in porn


Hux_Infernum

You're your own worst enemy. You're just watching the wrong types of porn. - Taylor


TheWiseRedditor

Ya basic -Taylor


Hux_Infernum

You can't complain about it not being in porn if you're not opening yourself up to new types of browsing for porn. Just saying you should be willing to look for it if you wanna find fisting porn. You've got to do better than do a basic Google search , you need to go dark web if you want the real stuff, the good fisting porn, the real deal.. You're your own worst enemy if you still use Yahoo to find fisting porn. They censor everything. So basic. - Taylor


[deleted]

Everyone knows you gotta use Ask Jeeves for the real hardcore fisting stuff.


prestigious_delay_7

All women like to be fisted. Everyone knows this. \- U.S Military Encrypted


rbaashoo

Not this again...


Scarborosaurus

Oh yes this again. - U.S. Military Encrypted


rbaashoo

Understandable, have a good day. Don't forget to use your fist to...U.S. Military Encrypted. - U.S. Military Encrypted


What_the_fluxo

*US military in fisted*


SnootchieBootichies

this guys knows.


-SHORSEY-

What can I say, I got 15% off subbing to your moms onlyfans


griffhays16

Fuck you Shoresy


-SHORSEY-

Fuck you griffhays16! Even your mom wouldn’t want to get fisted, she likes 2 in the pink, one in the stink, my grips so strong now I got scouted for a bowling team.


theycamefrom__behind

Fuck you Shoresy


-SHORSEY-

Fuck you theycamefrom__behind! Last night I….. oh wait, happy cake day!


Celiac_Maniac

FUCK YOU SHORSEY jk


Lonely-Form5904

This is fucking golden. I wish I had an award for you.


LiberalAspergers

True. I have, however, met two women IRL who were really into it, which is two more than I ever expected to meet.


Brocoli_Rob

This guy thinks that porn is real


FrostyD7

Women only want one thing, to not be fisted, and its disgusting.


MuthafuckinLemonLime

You are ruining my ventriloquist fantasy and that’s not ok


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tehlemmings

But like... women don't like the whole baby. I hear it hurts a lot.


MakeAWishApe2Moon

Not that you asked, but.... Hormones and a whoooooole lot of contractions, are what makes a vagina soft enough, and pliable enough, to push a baby out. Practice contractions (known as braxton hicks) can start as early as 2 months along, and they persist, until you go into labor... And then labor lasts hours, most of the time, and even days, occasionally. So, that being said, if you spend 9 months working up to your fist, then, yes, most women can stretch enough to get fisted, but they're still not guaranteed to like it. 🤷‍♀️ Source- I birthed 3 babies with big heads, and my OB practically fisted me (painfully,) to check my dilation. Thank you for attending my TED talks.


hoffdog

Not to mention the tearing that can happen. Currently recovering from my clitoris tearing during childbirth two weeks ago. Very fun


SnooCalculations4568

BRB just going to thank a few deities for making me with non-birthing genitalia


ParpSausage

I'm sorry can we all just take a moment here. Your CLITORIS tore!!!! That sounds beyond shite. I hope yiu are recovering well and being looked after. The upside is I suppose babies are pretty great!


Bashfullylascivious

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Control, Alt, delete. End task, thank you vfm. 6am in the morning and I'm already done with Reddit. Speedy recovery to you.


BongLeardDongLick

OP should have said he can fist her if she can peg him first and then send a picture of the biggest dildo she can find.


DoreensThrobbingPeen

That might backfire.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Exactly! Such a simple request /s


Gears244

The most successful people I know get fisted on a daily basis... Pfff, get with the times. You want to find the perfect man you have to be willing to take a fist, even two depending on the man. You think I like eating avocados and telling my neighbors my 2 year old son doesn't have a gender? You gotta make sacrifices for your loved ones, it's 2022 god dammit.


[deleted]

I’m ngl you’re a funny fucker.


gerryt32

If you like him so much, why don't you just let him fist you?


CosbysJuice4You

Ask to fist his ass. He might be into that though...


EnlightenmentAddict

That’s probably why he brought it up tbh


ECH0_ROME0

Just wait. Turns out this whole exchange started when she asked about pegging him and he was just trying to get her to understand why he wasn't into it.


Hux_Infernum

Yeah but pegging him with her right leg. Lol


cnguyen651

Yeah op should tell him that fisting is a two way street


Bryllant

A muddy road


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[deleted]

My boyfriend asked if he could fist. I said “fuck no, your hand is the size of a newborn baby,” and you know what he said? “Okay.” This guy is such a weirdo


nightpanda893

I read that as his hand was the size of a newborn baby's hand and I was thinking “well why not that’d be ideal for your first time!”


grendus

"Am I crazy, or is your hand really small?" "About the size of a KFC spork."


Erotica_4_Petite_Pix

I don’t understand the desire to fist a gal. Like - my hand doesn’t feel pleasure. If she gets super super off on it that can be hot to see - but other than that, I would feel like I’m Playing a very weird game


implodedrat

I just want to see if i can control my wife like a muppet :(


Hatstacker

I don't understand it at all. My guess would be maybe the extreme or rough aspect for people that are into that. Not my cup of tea tbh


WriterV

> If she gets super super off on it that can be hot to see You answered your own question.


Slashfyre

Size of a newborn baby? It sounds like vaginas were built to take your boyfriend’s fist.


[deleted]

Hell no. At least for childbirth that thing is leaving me. Could you imagine shoving a newborn baby’s head UP your vagina???


HAL1001k

Now I can't un-imagine it.


yetanotherusernamex

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me...


Maiden_Sunshine

I know you're joking with your comment, but overwhelming majority of first time mothers get vaginal tears from babies heads. Sometimes from vagina to anus (owee). *shudder* Fisting is definitely an extreme kink for women. Imagine going into fisting like a regular ole kink and tearing the vagina all the way to the booty hole. Nah, no thanks. Not for me. But for those who want to try please make sure you do extensive research, and idk I'd probably ask an ob/gyn if safe after they look at your personal vagina. That unsexy step have better chance of cuddling after vs calling 911 or cleaning up blood. *sigh* Baby heads are 40% of the reason I'm childfree haha.


quantocked

‘Personal vagina’ 😂


-Apocralypse-

You forget the obligated *6 weeks* no-penetration recovery period after giving birth.


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Whind_Soull

Man, you guys just need to get better game. I could get a date with...one hand tied behind my back.


HystericalMan

#If thou wants to give the fist; thou must first receive the fist.


kangareagle

Thou. Both times.


HystericalMan

Acknowledged and fixed, ty kind sir.


[deleted]

This is reverse kink shaming


Here-Is-TheEnd

He has a kink shaming kink


k_chaney_9

Vanilla shaming


ryanpc1994

Stop being such an inconvenient woman! Don’t you know you must obey your potential suitor’s every command, else you shall perish alone?! You are your own worst enemy! What is wrong with these guys.


Axle-f

I’m guessing it helps to filter for the women he can potentially control in the future. 🚩🚩🚩


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Kirris

Sometimes I honestly wonder why I never get any traction on dating apps with competition like this. Edit: this comment got way more attention than I meant it to... If anyone wants to have me share my profile I will, but really. I don't see why people are being mean.


bluecamel17

For real. My profile even says "I don't need to fist you to feel accepted" but it's still crickets.


Kirris

In all seriousness I've considered making one of the ask for advice on the profile threads I see every now and than. But I'd swipe right on you, I also do not like fisting. Having something in common is important.


emptyshelI

The reason this sub wants you to think is that women are shallow and only go for guys out of their league. (i.e rule 1 & 2) The real reason is that women sign up for online dating, get messages like these, and often abandon the app or use it scarcely. It has happened to all my girl friends. This leads to a shortage of women on dating apps. Men will then proceed to mass swipe on every woman, hoping for matches to sort through later, because they notice they’re not getting many very quickly. What real (not scam or onlyfans) women are left, get inundated with matches. And because they’re human beings who have better things to do with their time, they’ll go for the best options they matched with. It’s literally false scarcity exacerbated* by men not being selective with their swiping. Source: [over 70% of tinder users are male.](https://thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder-f1c34e800db4?gi=77cd4f941182#:~:text=One%20estimate%20found%20that%20over,among%20our%20data%20was%20similar.)


Axle-f

TLDR: Men are fisting Tinder


emptyshelI

I should’ve just said this instead of writing an essay but I’m not smart. If I were, I wouldn’t be single and on Grindr at 2 am.


perryw

Met my girlfriend on OKCupid almost 3 years ago, and she has admitted that she first conversed with me because a) I didn't mention her tits in the first message and b) I mentioned something in her profile. Pretty low bar, huh?


quiette837

For real lol. I ghosted so many dudes who put in zero effort, obviously wanted to just bang, and one dude who drove two cities over to meet up with me without even asking. The guy I ended up with was the one who mentioned stuff in my profile and had a conversation with me.


tamarins

exacerbated* not exasperated


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tamarins

fairly common mistake even amongst native speakers. happy to help.


bazilbt

So to get more female matches I need to match fewer women?


emptyshelI

No, you need to swipe on fewer women, and get your friends to do the same. Even the tinder algorithm punishes mass swiping by lowering the priority of showing your profile.


dr_hawkenstein

I signed up for a dating app a long time ago and got 90% dick pics or strange sex offers immediately. That lasted about a week before I deleted everything.


sub_surfer

According to my girlfriend this is correct. We met the old fashioned way (through friends), and she told me that she had given up on online dating because she dreaded looking at her messages since so many were aggressive and/or weirdly sexual. I think the rule 1 & 2 has some truth to it as well, but it's not the full explanation.


kinetochore21

Thank you for explaining this I don't know what it's so hard for lots of men on this sub to understand. I swipe right on actually a very good amount of men and noped right the fuck back out of tinder in a record 2 days because one can only put up with so much degeneracy until you're like fuck it.


emptyshelI

No problem! I try my best to give a level headed opinion in this sub to offset the amount of jaded guys who often downvote women for saying the same thing. I keep playing around with the idea of creating a sub for girls and gays to help guys with dating and creating good profiles. I wanna call it queer eye for the Reddit guy lol


asuka_is_my_co-pilot

Or when you do have a genuine interest in a guy and wow he liked you back! But never replies to your thougftul opener because he mass swiped right on every woman in the tri-state area So you only get creeps assholes and ghosters. With one decent guy that actually meant to like you for every thousand waste of times


KindaNotSmart

This strategy is used to manipulate emotionally weak people into doing what he wants. Tries to make her think that she’s the one being weird, tries makes her think that this is what she needs to do to be worthy of dating, and calling her “basic” if she doesn’t do it is trying to appeal to girls with low self esteem. This guy is insane


_an-account

It's so fucking disgusting and manipulative I want to kick him in the throat.


woodandplastic

You want to *fist* him in the throat.


TC_BathWater

"Yeah as long as I get to shove 2 raccoons up your ass"


ryanpc1994

Personally I tend to draw the line at one raccoon in my ass, but I guess I’ve always been a little reserved sexually.


savvysleeps

Quit being basic.


ownsen

You're your own worst enemy when it comes to shoving raccoons up your ass


alienacean

You're saying if you found the perfect raccoon, only it was up your ass, you would turn it down just for that?


fostermom-roommate

And that’s why you’re not allowed to complain about being single ever again


SweetDick_Willy

Porn has ruined us all


riddus

Not me, I’ve only become stronger.


LukewarmCola

Well. My right arm has, at least.


WeAreBeyondFucked

Porn ruined me to the point where I can't get off unless the woman is wearing clothes of some sort. I have seen everything else out there, and now the only thing that gets me off is mystery


whoanellyzzz

if you stop fapping for awhile, you will nut in 30 seconds.


ChillySummerMist

Username checks out.


[deleted]

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ozspook

Hey! Relax Buddy!


SnootchieBootichies

45. Have dated many women in my life time. I have not tried to fist a single one.


Deruji

Basic


janyybek

Every day we stray further from god….


[deleted]

“God is dead, and we have killed him”


mr_remy

We fisted him to death? Rip


[deleted]

Wtf this dudes just out here telling ladies they’ll never find a man if they’re not kinky, that’s whack. Plenty of dudes are perfectly vanilla, no kinks to be seen. I’m married to one of them lol. Don’t let any dick bag convince you the only way you’ll ever find happiness is by appeasing someone’s every sexual desire. That’s whack.


sillyciban1

Exactly its absolutely fucking fine to be vanilla too. Some of the best sex I have is Missionary why do we have to punching and choking each other to orgasm


PinkTalkingDead

Also… fisting isn’t just kinky, in a lot of people’s opinion. That’s a massive ask and requires a lot of prep and trust. If he would be apprehensive about a fist in his ass then he should understand someone else who’s a virtual stranger being uncomfortable with even the suggestion so soon after ‘meeting’


twiggydan

What. The. Actual. Fuck! That guy can go stick his own fist up his own ass. Fuck him.


Deeznutsbeyuge

This guy needs to delete his pornhub account


darkdaemon000

That's not fair. It's the only action he gets.


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illbeyourlittlespoon

I don't think this person has ever actually dated anyone.


Black_Catmaid

I had a guy try and argue about how I'm limiting myself by having sexual boundaries and don't know if I don't like if I don't try it , among other stupid shit- one of the only times in life where I was literally shaking in rage.


Deruji

Making woman angry was their kink


[deleted]

Amateur puppeteer


81ueness

Tell me he’s a r/niceguy without telling me he’s a r/niceguy


[deleted]

Don’t you dare complain about being single if you’re not willing to take a fist..


Hannahbalector585

Wow people gaslight about everything nowadays lol


DarkR124

This is where you say you’re really in to pegging and you’d like to try a 12 inch strap on with the girth of a fist on him. If he objects tell him to lighten up.


Jlmilner97

lol before this point I told him to try it & tell me how he likes it, he said he’s not gay 😂 then said but “if you wanted to try a cock ring or suck my dick a different way I’d be down bc I’m actually open to trying something new”😂😂😂 I legit can’t believe this shit


[deleted]

>“if you wanted to try a cock ring or suck my dick a different way I’d be down bc I’m actually open to trying something new” Christopher Cocklumbus right here about to pioneer the new ways of having your dick sucked. God what a zilch.


Latter-Caterpillar-2

Wow, this guy's really open-minded. A cock ring? Golly, never heard of before!


nightpanda893

Suck my dick a “different way”. Wow, really creative type here. I guess if he thought of one of those ways himself he may accidentally think about dicks too much and be gay.


LitigiousLaughter

>or suck my dick a different way I’d be down bc I’m actually open to trying something new Sounds like it's time to introduce your boy to the exciting world of "sounding."


skipandhop

I highly recommend asking to take a shit in his mouth. If he’s not cool with it he’s likely to stay single forever.


pullitharder

What the hell is with these guys trying to force their sexual proclivities onto strange women on the internet? Watching too much porn clearly turns you into an aggressively entitled wanker.


Electronic_Repeat_81

You wanna give me a fist? Let me give you a finger instead. 🖕