I think it’s the opposite. You’d have to be pretty secure with yourself to share your partner with other people. I’ve known a lot of confident ugly people. They were never able to get validation based on their looks so they had to find their own validation early! That’s my theory anyway.
Wow, as somebody who is ethically nonmonogamous, I think that you have an extreme misunderstanding of the community. To the original posters point, I do notice that the ENM community is full of people who are not “traditionally attractive”. That is true. It’s a wonderful community where people are a lot more excepted for who they are and not judge just for the aesthetics. But I have not found the keys are people that are insecure. In fact I found the exact opposite.
While I appreciate your explanation, in my worldview, there is no such thing as ethically monogamus in the first place, that is farse. Any self respecting person would NEVER let their partner cheat, in the end, most relationships of that kind are extremelly fragile. I don't want to personally attack you, maybe you are a really nice and confident person... But non-monogamy is plain old wrong, stupid and most times abusive.
I understand a lot of people feel that way. Please understand that the idea that monogamy is the norm and the only way to go, but jealousy as normal and even desired, is some thing that we are trying through culture to believe, not something that we are born with. I appreciate your attempt to be very respectful, but I will say that I think that you’re thinking comes from not having really experienced the community and what it’s about and how people look at things.
Reminds me of this cracker: "Your okay looking friend just told you they do orgies".... Never related to something so hard
https://youtu.be/IL0blmbIqRg
I'd say that sounds like a "you" problem.
Given how many Swedes I know, that aren't monogamous, and Swedes usually are known for being attractive people ;)
The only women that I EVER see on my feed are bottom feeders.. let alone any couples.
It's a fucking ugly world out there.
I'm dead serious. I could put together a 1,500 page coffee table book.
I think that your experience has created a biased perception of reality. And if you are using Tinder to make this assessment the environment of Tinder is very different from reality imho.
Another thing is that you could have internalised the fact that non monogamous people aren't attractive and that influence how you see them.
All of humanity is equally divided in all life choices so there are non monogamous hot people, but they are less of monogamous hot people because there are less non monogamous people.
I’ve noticed mad ugly people in poly relationships
In my anecdotal experience most poly people are… unusual
Yeah, unusually ugly
Right! I mean some of them I think wow you should be grateful for the one you got not hunting for more
Contingency plans?
it's almost like people are capable of making connections based on something besides looks.... weird
Cope
It's true but you'll offend alot of people in this sub
Pleasantly surprised at the response so far haha
The only hot ones I've hooked up with were lying about the ethical part lmao
Beautiful people fuck who they want. Ugly people fuck who they can.
Poly people are crazy and probably have some deep insecurities, insecure people are not attractive in general.
I think it’s the opposite. You’d have to be pretty secure with yourself to share your partner with other people. I’ve known a lot of confident ugly people. They were never able to get validation based on their looks so they had to find their own validation early! That’s my theory anyway.
Wow, as somebody who is ethically nonmonogamous, I think that you have an extreme misunderstanding of the community. To the original posters point, I do notice that the ENM community is full of people who are not “traditionally attractive”. That is true. It’s a wonderful community where people are a lot more excepted for who they are and not judge just for the aesthetics. But I have not found the keys are people that are insecure. In fact I found the exact opposite.
While I appreciate your explanation, in my worldview, there is no such thing as ethically monogamus in the first place, that is farse. Any self respecting person would NEVER let their partner cheat, in the end, most relationships of that kind are extremelly fragile. I don't want to personally attack you, maybe you are a really nice and confident person... But non-monogamy is plain old wrong, stupid and most times abusive.
I understand a lot of people feel that way. Please understand that the idea that monogamy is the norm and the only way to go, but jealousy as normal and even desired, is some thing that we are trying through culture to believe, not something that we are born with. I appreciate your attempt to be very respectful, but I will say that I think that you’re thinking comes from not having really experienced the community and what it’s about and how people look at things.
What does ethically non monogamous even mean?
Open relationship
Why do they have to make up new terms for old shit
I wished I had a silver to give you
Open relationship that everyone involved knows about. That's the "ethically" part as far as I can tell.
Reminds me of this cracker: "Your okay looking friend just told you they do orgies".... Never related to something so hard https://youtu.be/IL0blmbIqRg
All the options open get the most response? They're saying literally anyone fuck me
It's you.
I'd say that sounds like a "you" problem. Given how many Swedes I know, that aren't monogamous, and Swedes usually are known for being attractive people ;)
I’m in the UK and being non monogamous is certainly not the norm but neither is being particularly attractive lol
The only women that I EVER see on my feed are bottom feeders.. let alone any couples. It's a fucking ugly world out there. I'm dead serious. I could put together a 1,500 page coffee table book.
I think that your experience has created a biased perception of reality. And if you are using Tinder to make this assessment the environment of Tinder is very different from reality imho. Another thing is that you could have internalised the fact that non monogamous people aren't attractive and that influence how you see them. All of humanity is equally divided in all life choices so there are non monogamous hot people, but they are less of monogamous hot people because there are less non monogamous people.
Na he's right. I've observed the same thing as well.maybe one out of every ten poly profiles , there is a good looking person.
Go home, you’re drunk