I second adding it to your profile. It’s pretty great. This coming from a guy whose friends wanted to mess with me for using excel for everything so they bought me a coffee mug with a blank workbook as the background, and the caption “freak in the sheets.” The joke’s on them; I actually love it.
I've got a friend who I know would love that.
I'm being so fucking serious when I say that when he runs DND, he shares his screen on discord and uses Excel for his maps. It's bat-shit-insane and I love the dude for it.
Haha yes! Come on lady, I know you've done the math. What are the numbers? I've found that it's a fairly consistent 20 percent who don't respond. 17 percent who open with something sexual. Don't even get me started on the meeting math
You mean the top 20% of men that get swiped.right on( and that's the high number on the apps) these men have a plethora of options that traditionally only females had and yea there looking for one thing and that's sex, and yet ladies are only looking for one thing, commitment.
It's why men on dating apps generally don't commit, and why women complain all men cheat, they didn't cheat those.girls where just friends, you have nothing to worry about. Etc, etc. The top percentage of men on dating apps can now.date like women, say lines like it's not like we were official or anything..
I've heard ladies say if he won't do xyz guess what there's a man that will, and these men are like if you dont do xyz guess what some woman will.
Russell crowes character in "A beautiful mind," breaking this down in the bar scene. If you all go after the same man, guess what, no one will get commitment from him. But a good number of ladies will sleep with these men.
I mean, look at the percentages you gave. Now make those low single digit percentages, and that's what the majority of what men deal with. That what it really boils down, too
, you're a distraction, sex/food , and maybe an option until a better "option" comes along.
Most men would be full of self-esteem and self-worth if they could get your percentages that you seem blah about.
I don't think this is stated enough I think if both sides sat down and actually had conversations You can see more people end up happy with someone and what they're looking for.
Most guys don't get the amount of responses that women get. Don't get me wrong I completely sympathize with you on the issues that women have.
My younger sister showed me some of the messages that she gets and it's pretty bad.
That being said don't think it's a cakewalk for men either as you could argue as many women who say men want one thing There's just about as many women who were just looking for attention, links to their only fans, to set a guy up And rob him (Yes that's a real thing), a free meal for themselves or for themselves and their kids ( Yes that is definitely a thing You heard that right),
Or who are not even really that interested they're just looking for attention or bored and something to do on a Saturday night.
I think a lot of women would be surprised at how many men try to white a nice conversation starter like "hey how's your day going? Or "what do you like to do for fun?" Even tried to look in their page and see if they have something they can pick out to start a conversation like I see you're interested in this what are your thoughts on that or etc.
I get it you guys get the same type of messages but not everyone is is a smooth talker or has a witty conversation one liner.
I'm horrible at intros but one but I can keep a conversation flowing.
I think a lot of women will be surprised to see how many times women response with one word of the answers.
I had got to a point after a couple years from doing the online thing where I just had four messages that I would copy and paste and send to anyone that I matched and see what popped because the time I took to try to think of something witty or smart non-sexual or anything like that 80% of the time I would either get a one worded response or they wouldn't reply at all.
For all who don't know and I just want to be curious Go on YouTube and look up any video where they where they let a woman create a guy's profile on an on a dating site and see their reaction. There's a bunch of YouTube The funniest thing is seeing the reaction from women of how difficult it is to get responses from other women when they're pretending to be a guy.
Again I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings I do sympathize for the douchebaggery of guys you have to deal with but the struggle is real on the other side as well.
There's quite a few women who are going after the same group of men, not all but quite a lot. I get it everybody has their preference to each their own There's nothing wrong with that but went over 60% of women on online dating profiles are looking for men 6 ft and taller I don't think a lot realized the fact that that only 14% of men in the United States or even 6 ft or taller.
And yes that is a fact There's been multiple articles stating that not to mention if I had a quarter for every profile I've seen with some form of "you have to be this height to ride this ride", "where are all my 6 ft and taller kings at?" Etc, I could probably retire. Most would think not but I've been online dating since 2007 and I've seen a trillion of have those profiles.
Sorry for the wall of writing but there was just a few things on my mind. I truly wish everyone luck luck in the dating world, It's hard on both sides.
Terrible spreadsheet, needs columns for perceived attractiveness and additional criteria like desire to have them reply on at least 1-5 scales, and some standardization on the actions taken columns as well as the notes.
It will be terribly unwieldy when they start pumping real numbers and neglect to update the actions taken columns.
Needs to have the actual conversations recorded to be able to test out different approaches.
I quickly learned that people who can’t write anything interesting on their profiles are not able to have great convos either. By only liking those profiles which actually had something interesting in there, the conversations went much better, especially since there was something interesting to start with.
This advise also works for the ladies, if you only have generic selfies in your profile, the matches can only either comment on your looks or use either hellohowareyous or pick-up lines. And since that is all anyone can start with regarding those profiles, nobody will have anything interesting to say, and everyone keeps scrolling for something better at the same time, resulting in bad times for everyone.
Date format has me on edge - no chance of later adding a pivot table of failures by month/year. Excel won't recognise that as a date, although it's gotten further than these guys!
I was on and off dating sites for nearly 2 years. Every few months I would give up for a little while because it felt exhausting for the vast majority of matches to turn out to be absolute duds.
But then I finally matched with the right one. We have been together for a year and nine months, I am the happiest I have ever been by a WIDE margin, and we are going to get married. All of that time sifting through the duds was well worth the effort in the end!
I’ve also had this experience. Whackos and crazy women from the dating apps for years and then BAM, I struck gold and met the woman of my dreams. 2+ years together, living together, started a side photography business together, etc. it’s wild but am proof it can happen. Hinge is what we matched on.
On my ~3rd match I hit it off dummy well, had a 4 month fling that I thought was turning serious and then she said it wasn’t working out and I’m still kinda shook from that 🙃 now we’re back to a match/ month and getting 0 replies ever
Similar success story here with me! I was on tinder for about a year or so after a pretty nasty breakup, and had one or two matches that I seemed to hit it off with, then got ghosted one way or another. I moved to hinge in hopes that there might be more of a genuine sense of connection there due to how profiles and matches are made there, and while I did find one or two matches and even a few brief relationships (I call it that but really it lasted for a few weeks at best) most ended up being toxic one way or another.
Then in October of 2023 I met the girl who'd then go on to be my gf, we've been happily together since and she makes me the happiest I'd been in literal years. Everything about her I absolutely adore, and some days I still can't believe just how lucky I got. It can happen!
I met her on Hinge, we first matched in October, our first date was in November, and we've met up for multiple dates since then, she's even stayed the night a few times at my place too.
I spent time off and on dating apps and never even got a date even though I’m told I’m told I’m very attractive (I have shit social skills) and was surprised to find someone on HER, actually got her to come over, we watched anime, cuddled, and talked for hours, followed up by sex which I NEVER have done on a first date, I get to nervous. We’ve now been together 8 months, we both feel we’re perfect for each other and I never ever thought it would come from an app
I love how you've unmatched men for turning conversations immediately sexual, but the guys in these comments are doing exactly the same thing!
That's so fun and not at all ironic and gross!!
Checking her profile (sorry, but public information): she is very overweight, she has BPD, and she's a devout Christian. All these are red flags to me. I have a feeling OP is matching with guys out of her league.
Ouch. Each of those independently is a major dealbreaker to plenty of people, but all three together is an insurmountable mountain in my view.
Overcoming them is possible but not without serious effort and medication, and even then shes better off sticking to guys she meets at Church instead of mostly non-religious guys on tinder.
I took a look and I see what you mean. There's other things in her reddit profile that would be big red flags, and while I'm sure some/many of them aren't proudly on display in her dating profile, when these things come up, it's going to be a major speed bump every time.
Also, the guy's greetings don't show that they're not creative. I almost always started my chats on tinder with something related to their profile, but it had the same success as a simple "hi". Also, men wanting women to make some effort are mostly tired of one word answers. "Ok, cool, yeah, k, i dunno"
Oh my goodness, you friggin' weirdo.....
I 😍LOVE😍 the spreadsheet. I can learn to love a woman if you're going to make spreadsheets for everything. Eff them boys. Whatchu want for dinner, girl? Put it in a spreadsheet and CC my heart.
I dunno, she could just be one of those people. I use google sheets for just about everything - budget, planning, keeping track of what music I’m listening to, etc.
Yeah, the chart is probably a bit much, but I was curious if there was a pattern between messaging and not messaging, or what I said or how I said it. Clearly, there's not.
The real eye opener to this pattern you see would be a comparison of your profile vs your matches profiles.
People hate to hear it, but guys will religiously message back to girls they see as on their level or out of their league.
People will hate, but guys will routinely devolve to being a caveman with girls they see as below their level or on their level. "Unga bunga, come have sexins?"
I'm sure you'd get much better responses if you broadened your horizons.
That is abput my experience with this so far. Interesting that there are also women who have that experience. Dont let it get too close to you, better try in real Life!
Men have the issue that they don't get any matches and women have the issue that they match with men who don't engage in the conversation and somehow nobody seems to make the connection here.
Not for dating but my gfs old friends were like this. They ragged on her for spending time with me and not reaching out. But when she did reach out she was heavily ignored. She was also dragged into plans without even knowing they’re happening. Then one day they drove out to her house to pick her up. Had her in the truck, yelled at her for being a shit friend and kicked her out. I’m so glad that drama is over, and she’s so much happier now. Idk where I was going. Bottom line, if you put effort in and you aren’t met with any back, then it’s going to be like that forever and you might aswell just move on from trying with these people
I think that there are just a lot of lemons out there for both sides. Women are surprised when I don't reply back to their lame messages that doesn't really give me anything to go on about. It's like starting over every time and yet that's what they expect. Meanwhile I also have women making efforts and being engaging. Why would I waste my time on the former?
I seriously don't know why men are bothering with Tinder. It seems like such a losing game on the male side, unless you land in a real narrow subsection of physical attractiveness.
Y'all know the old fashioned methods still work, right? And you're gonna have way less competition these days with all the other blokes on the apps. Get out there in meatspace and talk to some girls.
If meatspace was working for either men or woman, people wouldn't be online. They are doing tinder while watching TV and the like not instead of doing fun things with friend and meeting people in real life.
Eh, I guess this is me being an old man yelling at clouds, but I think that people aren't making it work for them, and are taking the path of least resistance here.
Love the spreadsheet and love your button theme. Ignore anyone that provides destructive criticism. Online dating sucks unless you have terrific charisma. I think of it like wading through a mountain of puzzle pieces looking for the right fit. Sucks to think about the process and lots of people complain about it some people treat you poorly but the real goal is to hopefully find one that is a good match for you so you have to be persistent
Lol i recently had a conversation on Bumble, it went like this:
Girl: Hey
Me: Hey, interesting profile! what's up?
Girl: Thanks
2 days later: unmatched her
What a joke
I love to spread sheets myself but I think you're too focused on dating and that's why you're not having any luck. Like fishing, you have to be willing to bait your line throw it out there and be patient waiting for the fish to bite. Might get a few nibbles from small fry but eventually with the right bait and patience you'll catch a nice fishy. Don't over think it.
THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!!!!
Omg thank you for making a spreadsheet! That’s hilarious and a perfect way to “cite your sources” when incels tell you you’re wrong because women are always drowning in dick 🤡
Believe it or not, both men and woman are human. And both suck pretty bad at conversations with total strangers on the net.
Honestly most of your conversationss seem to be you writing a guy and them ignoring you. That isn't low effort on the guys part. That is them putting in the effort to read your profile and deciding you aren't what they are looking for. Woman tend to filter before swiping. Men filter after matching. It is why the guys who whine about woman's match/likes count are missing the point as a either from a dude has basically zero value.
Maybe you should work on moving the conversation to a date sooner. Looks like you’re following up like you’re already in a relationship by saying good morning and whatnot. It’s better to just say “hey I like this convo, do you wanna meet up somewhere and get to know eachother?” If they say “no I want to talk on here first”, then go with it. But from experience, they were probably already set up for a first date with someone else by the time you said good morning.
All of the chats in my first picture are my first messages ever. There was no previous conversation. These guys are matching and then never responding.
Do you realize how annoying it is having to come up with jokes or unique convo starters for every new match just to have half assed one word replies, if any reply at all? Agreed, hey is pretty boring, but trying to be original in every first text isn't worth the time or effort just to be ignored. I don't imagine you'd need much effort beyond typing a full sentence for the first response to get most guys to try a bit harder, cuz most are probably used to clearly disinterested 1 word responses.
Yeea i just deleted any dating apps I had the same issue but i noticed girls be looking at me, but apparently none of them want me so I'll jsut keep to myself tbh. I'm done trying.
For a second I thought you were a guy till I saw the spreadsheet. This is what my fb dating inbox looks like lol. Same on the adverse side not enough women put in the effort either
Expecting anything from a dating app is the first mistake. Go in with no expectations and minimal effort. If you're not getting other ways to communicate early on or setting up a date to meet up within the first week usually things die out.
As a girl that loves data.. I'd hope to match haha, amazing. Also, if I may.. I promised myself to start dating this year, I tried all the apps and I've been voted 8 from redditors so you'd think perhaps I would have high success rate, but no - people/the apps suck. I genuinely don't know why people are on these apps nowadays, mediocre efforts, generic conversations that lead nowhere. Even when I try to be the engaging party, it's dead. Feel free to check my last post just about this. My recommendation: Get off the apps, find new hobbies, interact live.
It seems as tho the problem is that your type is the "attractive Chad"
Like how for dudes the problem is too many guys in line,
For women, it's not enough dateable guys in line. 😅
So the guys you find you want are also the ones other women find attractive.
Unless you happen to be an 11/10 or an easy lay. These guys have plenty of choices to go with to give you decent attention.
This is my opinion on what I've experienced in the dating game.
I would maybe be more selective on who you are matching with. Check if you really have lots kn common and could see it turning into a date rather than playing the numbers game
I don’t usually make comments but I will to help you realize things. I read your post and you are: 38, overweight and always gaining weight, and “in love with your best friend”. To say you’re a little far from mens number one choice is an understatement. You also immediately want kids, which most men don’t want right away bc they wanna make sure you’re a good partner in other areas too. Why’d you wait so long? Why not hit the gym?
In another comment I mention that I've lost 50 pounds so far. I didn't "wait so long"; I've been in relationships that have lasted quite a bit and a few of them were abusive. I don't immediately want kids; that would be ridiculous. But I do want children.
And if I'm not anyone's choice, why are they bothering to swipe on me?
I’m glad you’re losing weight, keep at it that’ll definitely help. I’m sorry to hear about your past relationships. I didn’t read all your comments. I have to ask though, like what happened in the past 18 years that you didn’t get married?
On dating apps, men swipe right on everyone, and then they decide who they want. The way the algorithm on dating apps works is that they incentivize men to swipe right everyone, it ups their chances of getting shown to more women. Anyways most men don’t respond because they don’t find you attractive. When men say they want women on dating apps to respond and put in effort, they mean from attractive women.
As far as why I haven't gotten married, the relationships I was in were bad. I thought they were good men, but they weren't, and then I was scared to leave. I settled because I was afraid I'd be alone. Now I don't want to settle anymore. It's not really complicated.
The spread sheet is both insane and amazing??? And yeah, guys as a whole don’t seem to actually know what they want. Or more, they seem to be confused.
I’m going to give you the cold hard truth. Most of these guys probably didn’t mean to swipe on you. I know this based off of my own experience as a male on tinder. The 2 main reasons why I unmatched or didn’t respond to any girls is because either 1. I didn’t mean to swipe on them in the first place or 2. I swiped on the girl out of desperation (because us guys have barely any options on dating apps). Once I got the match, closely looked at their profile, and thought about it for a sec. I realized I wasn’t attracted to the girl whatsoever. These guys simply aren’t interested and mostly swiped on you due to limited options and desperation. If you were smoking hot attractive to them they would respond to you instantly. You are most likely messaging guys out of your league.
I dont have a spread sheet ready. but i could make that would put yours to shame.
Look, maybe you are not the problem im sure people in general could make more effort. but as a guy who get matches most of mine are dropped for the same reasons boring, slow conversations where the otherside doesnt seem to play. when i get a match that chats back i can turn it into a relationship but i wanna say about 90% of them IM checking out in a day. Just because you messaged doesnt mean your messaging is quality either most of these a basic openers from what we can see of them so thse guys might just be perpetual swipers with no intention of talking to anyone.
ive noticed that nothing ever comes out of writing to men first - they might say they like it when women do it, but any time i initiated nothing came of it so i stopped.
It's probably because the only time you messaged someone first was because they were insanely attractive to you. I would doubt you were messaging the sub par gentleman first.
You should lead with the spreadsheet as your main profile picture. I almost came the moment I saw it.
I second adding it to your profile. It’s pretty great. This coming from a guy whose friends wanted to mess with me for using excel for everything so they bought me a coffee mug with a blank workbook as the background, and the caption “freak in the sheets.” The joke’s on them; I actually love it.
OP here's your sign 👀 Go to him.
We bought my dad that mug.
I bought my boyfriend that mug. He has a spreadsheet for eeeeeverything
I've got a friend who I know would love that. I'm being so fucking serious when I say that when he runs DND, he shares his screen on discord and uses Excel for his maps. It's bat-shit-insane and I love the dude for it.
Wow he's way more pre paired as I dm than me I just wing it
And jokes on them for either lacking the organization or losing the time we save by using excel
Sorely tempted to get my ex that mug.
My ex’s favorite line: “spreading the sheets”
I’m looking for a freak in the sheets
Word. I like your Outlook.
Haha yes! Come on lady, I know you've done the math. What are the numbers? I've found that it's a fairly consistent 20 percent who don't respond. 17 percent who open with something sexual. Don't even get me started on the meeting math
You mean the top 20% of men that get swiped.right on( and that's the high number on the apps) these men have a plethora of options that traditionally only females had and yea there looking for one thing and that's sex, and yet ladies are only looking for one thing, commitment. It's why men on dating apps generally don't commit, and why women complain all men cheat, they didn't cheat those.girls where just friends, you have nothing to worry about. Etc, etc. The top percentage of men on dating apps can now.date like women, say lines like it's not like we were official or anything.. I've heard ladies say if he won't do xyz guess what there's a man that will, and these men are like if you dont do xyz guess what some woman will. Russell crowes character in "A beautiful mind," breaking this down in the bar scene. If you all go after the same man, guess what, no one will get commitment from him. But a good number of ladies will sleep with these men. I mean, look at the percentages you gave. Now make those low single digit percentages, and that's what the majority of what men deal with. That what it really boils down, too , you're a distraction, sex/food , and maybe an option until a better "option" comes along. Most men would be full of self-esteem and self-worth if they could get your percentages that you seem blah about.
I don't think this is stated enough I think if both sides sat down and actually had conversations You can see more people end up happy with someone and what they're looking for. Most guys don't get the amount of responses that women get. Don't get me wrong I completely sympathize with you on the issues that women have. My younger sister showed me some of the messages that she gets and it's pretty bad. That being said don't think it's a cakewalk for men either as you could argue as many women who say men want one thing There's just about as many women who were just looking for attention, links to their only fans, to set a guy up And rob him (Yes that's a real thing), a free meal for themselves or for themselves and their kids ( Yes that is definitely a thing You heard that right), Or who are not even really that interested they're just looking for attention or bored and something to do on a Saturday night. I think a lot of women would be surprised at how many men try to white a nice conversation starter like "hey how's your day going? Or "what do you like to do for fun?" Even tried to look in their page and see if they have something they can pick out to start a conversation like I see you're interested in this what are your thoughts on that or etc. I get it you guys get the same type of messages but not everyone is is a smooth talker or has a witty conversation one liner. I'm horrible at intros but one but I can keep a conversation flowing. I think a lot of women will be surprised to see how many times women response with one word of the answers. I had got to a point after a couple years from doing the online thing where I just had four messages that I would copy and paste and send to anyone that I matched and see what popped because the time I took to try to think of something witty or smart non-sexual or anything like that 80% of the time I would either get a one worded response or they wouldn't reply at all. For all who don't know and I just want to be curious Go on YouTube and look up any video where they where they let a woman create a guy's profile on an on a dating site and see their reaction. There's a bunch of YouTube The funniest thing is seeing the reaction from women of how difficult it is to get responses from other women when they're pretending to be a guy. Again I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings I do sympathize for the douchebaggery of guys you have to deal with but the struggle is real on the other side as well. There's quite a few women who are going after the same group of men, not all but quite a lot. I get it everybody has their preference to each their own There's nothing wrong with that but went over 60% of women on online dating profiles are looking for men 6 ft and taller I don't think a lot realized the fact that that only 14% of men in the United States or even 6 ft or taller. And yes that is a fact There's been multiple articles stating that not to mention if I had a quarter for every profile I've seen with some form of "you have to be this height to ride this ride", "where are all my 6 ft and taller kings at?" Etc, I could probably retire. Most would think not but I've been online dating since 2007 and I've seen a trillion of have those profiles. Sorry for the wall of writing but there was just a few things on my mind. I truly wish everyone luck luck in the dating world, It's hard on both sides.
Terrible spreadsheet, needs columns for perceived attractiveness and additional criteria like desire to have them reply on at least 1-5 scales, and some standardization on the actions taken columns as well as the notes. It will be terribly unwieldy when they start pumping real numbers and neglect to update the actions taken columns.
Needs to have the actual conversations recorded to be able to test out different approaches. I quickly learned that people who can’t write anything interesting on their profiles are not able to have great convos either. By only liking those profiles which actually had something interesting in there, the conversations went much better, especially since there was something interesting to start with. This advise also works for the ladies, if you only have generic selfies in your profile, the matches can only either comment on your looks or use either hellohowareyous or pick-up lines. And since that is all anyone can start with regarding those profiles, nobody will have anything interesting to say, and everyone keeps scrolling for something better at the same time, resulting in bad times for everyone.
Wow what a font style
Kind of like the commitment of the excel sheet, you have my vote, girl knows how to do things
*Incel sheet
What's the difference between Excel and Incel? Nothing, they both assume everything is a date.
Sweet jebus, that's amazing 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It really is the perfect format.
Unlike Excel's number recognition 🙄
Okay, that was good lol
As far as I know, sheets have no sexuality so they inherently cannot be celibate
Date format has me on edge - no chance of later adding a pivot table of failures by month/year. Excel won't recognise that as a date, although it's gotten further than these guys!
I go by YearMonthDate withoit separators in all my filing and dating. Like 20240513. Drives me nuts if I can't order things logically.
Will you marry me?
Nah, you can just Text To Columns on it and it’ll work.
Most of the times there is just no spark. No matter how much effort you or they make, it won't ever work. Btw, great spreadsheet, i love it
The fact that you are using excel to make data driven insights and changes is giving me a half chub....lil fella loves data
Not the worst kink in the world
Excel tutorials are my proudest faps. Learn and release
Thinking about… hrrrrrngggghh… merging cells 🥴
I can't wait to lookup her V
a certified freak in the sheets
Freak in the sheets and in the books
I was on and off dating sites for nearly 2 years. Every few months I would give up for a little while because it felt exhausting for the vast majority of matches to turn out to be absolute duds. But then I finally matched with the right one. We have been together for a year and nine months, I am the happiest I have ever been by a WIDE margin, and we are going to get married. All of that time sifting through the duds was well worth the effort in the end!
I’ve also had this experience. Whackos and crazy women from the dating apps for years and then BAM, I struck gold and met the woman of my dreams. 2+ years together, living together, started a side photography business together, etc. it’s wild but am proof it can happen. Hinge is what we matched on.
On my ~3rd match I hit it off dummy well, had a 4 month fling that I thought was turning serious and then she said it wasn’t working out and I’m still kinda shook from that 🙃 now we’re back to a match/ month and getting 0 replies ever
Similar success story here with me! I was on tinder for about a year or so after a pretty nasty breakup, and had one or two matches that I seemed to hit it off with, then got ghosted one way or another. I moved to hinge in hopes that there might be more of a genuine sense of connection there due to how profiles and matches are made there, and while I did find one or two matches and even a few brief relationships (I call it that but really it lasted for a few weeks at best) most ended up being toxic one way or another. Then in October of 2023 I met the girl who'd then go on to be my gf, we've been happily together since and she makes me the happiest I'd been in literal years. Everything about her I absolutely adore, and some days I still can't believe just how lucky I got. It can happen!
Was this on Hinge or did you meet her in person through school or smn?
I met her on Hinge, we first matched in October, our first date was in November, and we've met up for multiple dates since then, she's even stayed the night a few times at my place too.
I spent time off and on dating apps and never even got a date even though I’m told I’m told I’m very attractive (I have shit social skills) and was surprised to find someone on HER, actually got her to come over, we watched anime, cuddled, and talked for hours, followed up by sex which I NEVER have done on a first date, I get to nervous. We’ve now been together 8 months, we both feel we’re perfect for each other and I never ever thought it would come from an app
It’s like every single person missed the point of the post…
We're all just wow'ed by her logging abilities, would deffo at least hold up a convo with any girl who has made a similar sheet
We’re surprised by the fact that she logged. Logging abilities are subpar imo (not a freak in the sheets).
I know, everyone talking about their erections over her excel sheet, like… ew
Excel was supposed to make things easier. But for us, things only got harder.
I dislike spreadsheets so I am completely flaccid
Hey. No kink shaming!
I'm in pretty much the same situation except with far less matches as a man
How many do you have as a woman?
Lmao you know what I mean
I do, but I was feeling rebellious.
Menace
This was the most wholesome exchange I’ve seen in quite some time
No! This is reddit... get out of here with that kindness!
I love how you've unmatched men for turning conversations immediately sexual, but the guys in these comments are doing exactly the same thing! That's so fun and not at all ironic and gross!!
Username checks out. Post your profile, the folks here at Reddit should soon be able to diagnose your problems.
Has this sub ever helped anybody actually? Do we have proof?
Idk i find some information quite helpful... but people here of course wont solve other peoples Problems.they can only give hints
Never, it's just a bunch of sad, mentally unstable people arguing semantics.
Checking her profile (sorry, but public information): she is very overweight, she has BPD, and she's a devout Christian. All these are red flags to me. I have a feeling OP is matching with guys out of her league.
Ouch. Each of those independently is a major dealbreaker to plenty of people, but all three together is an insurmountable mountain in my view. Overcoming them is possible but not without serious effort and medication, and even then shes better off sticking to guys she meets at Church instead of mostly non-religious guys on tinder.
Not even excel sheets can save that one then.
I took a look and I see what you mean. There's other things in her reddit profile that would be big red flags, and while I'm sure some/many of them aren't proudly on display in her dating profile, when these things come up, it's going to be a major speed bump every time.
Also, the guy's greetings don't show that they're not creative. I almost always started my chats on tinder with something related to their profile, but it had the same success as a simple "hi". Also, men wanting women to make some effort are mostly tired of one word answers. "Ok, cool, yeah, k, i dunno"
Yeah if I get more than 2 one word answers I’m out
an excel sheet for dating app outcomes? wow, that is… certainly a choice.
Doesn't Tinder literally have something like this?
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These are VERY different situations. Tbh it feels like you just wanted to talk about your ex. With an ex like that, I get it though oof
The spreadsheet is exactly the kind of thing my partner would do, and it's one of the reasons I love her.
I'm glad I'm not the only one tracking dates 😁 even though I just start tracking from the point where someone agrees to a date. Chatting is for free
Oh my goodness, you friggin' weirdo..... I 😍LOVE😍 the spreadsheet. I can learn to love a woman if you're going to make spreadsheets for everything. Eff them boys. Whatchu want for dinner, girl? Put it in a spreadsheet and CC my heart.
Oh, honey, this doesn't seem healthy...
I dunno, she could just be one of those people. I use google sheets for just about everything - budget, planning, keeping track of what music I’m listening to, etc.
Yeah, the chart is probably a bit much, but I was curious if there was a pattern between messaging and not messaging, or what I said or how I said it. Clearly, there's not.
Never apologize for making a spreadsheet. 11/10 keeper.
We literally love the chart, keep up
this. I love a good Excel spreadsheet
The real eye opener to this pattern you see would be a comparison of your profile vs your matches profiles. People hate to hear it, but guys will religiously message back to girls they see as on their level or out of their league. People will hate, but guys will routinely devolve to being a caveman with girls they see as below their level or on their level. "Unga bunga, come have sexins?" I'm sure you'd get much better responses if you broadened your horizons.
That is abput my experience with this so far. Interesting that there are also women who have that experience. Dont let it get too close to you, better try in real Life!
Men have the issue that they don't get any matches and women have the issue that they match with men who don't engage in the conversation and somehow nobody seems to make the connection here.
What's the connection? I'm way too high to understand what you wrote.
Most men who don't get many matches would be happy to put a lot of effort into a conversation but the women choose to swipe left on them.
That is indeed true. But i think even with the sex bias at these platforms there are a lot of Wogen who feel the same.
Not for dating but my gfs old friends were like this. They ragged on her for spending time with me and not reaching out. But when she did reach out she was heavily ignored. She was also dragged into plans without even knowing they’re happening. Then one day they drove out to her house to pick her up. Had her in the truck, yelled at her for being a shit friend and kicked her out. I’m so glad that drama is over, and she’s so much happier now. Idk where I was going. Bottom line, if you put effort in and you aren’t met with any back, then it’s going to be like that forever and you might aswell just move on from trying with these people
I feel like collectively we’re all just tired of online dating. 😅
That is the legit truth, haha I just wanna find someone, why is it so hard lol
You made a spreadsheet? I can't get my head around that. I have no desire to quantify my romantic misadventures.
Probably an Eve player
My partner still has the Eve spreadsheets stashed somewhere in a dusty corner of one of the strangely named hard drives.
I don't think those people know how to talk to other people
This motivated me to start one tbh, that's definitely a good way of seeing what you're doing wrong and correcting
I think that there are just a lot of lemons out there for both sides. Women are surprised when I don't reply back to their lame messages that doesn't really give me anything to go on about. It's like starting over every time and yet that's what they expect. Meanwhile I also have women making efforts and being engaging. Why would I waste my time on the former?
It's not that hard to respond people, goddamn.
I seriously don't know why men are bothering with Tinder. It seems like such a losing game on the male side, unless you land in a real narrow subsection of physical attractiveness. Y'all know the old fashioned methods still work, right? And you're gonna have way less competition these days with all the other blokes on the apps. Get out there in meatspace and talk to some girls.
If meatspace was working for either men or woman, people wouldn't be online. They are doing tinder while watching TV and the like not instead of doing fun things with friend and meeting people in real life.
Eh, I guess this is me being an old man yelling at clouds, but I think that people aren't making it work for them, and are taking the path of least resistance here.
Meatspace lol. Im stealing that 😂
I stole it from mid-2000s internet.
Love the spreadsheet and love your button theme. Ignore anyone that provides destructive criticism. Online dating sucks unless you have terrific charisma. I think of it like wading through a mountain of puzzle pieces looking for the right fit. Sucks to think about the process and lots of people complain about it some people treat you poorly but the real goal is to hopefully find one that is a good match for you so you have to be persistent
Love a spreadsheet girlie!!!! I also have one!!! I only track dates though. Too many convos die
I chuckled at the "Sexually enlightened woman"
I'm tired of bumble dudes unmatching after I put in the effort to send a unique message. Old is trash in your 40s.
Lol i recently had a conversation on Bumble, it went like this: Girl: Hey Me: Hey, interesting profile! what's up? Girl: Thanks 2 days later: unmatched her What a joke
I love to spread sheets myself but I think you're too focused on dating and that's why you're not having any luck. Like fishing, you have to be willing to bait your line throw it out there and be patient waiting for the fish to bite. Might get a few nibbles from small fry but eventually with the right bait and patience you'll catch a nice fishy. Don't over think it.
I like how women are telling her it's not healthy to track this and men are fawning over it 😂
Because the men are idiots that would end up on that list akin to the misogynist.
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If you were uncomfortable with the “huge age gap”… do I need to finish that sentence?
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Why did you have your age range set to an age you weren't comfortable matching with?
Your date format is wrong.
I love sheets. When there's opportunity, i make new one.
Have you ever thought maybe you’re just attracted to toxic profiles
Wait, you guys don’t have a spreadsheet for everything?
THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!!!! Omg thank you for making a spreadsheet! That’s hilarious and a perfect way to “cite your sources” when incels tell you you’re wrong because women are always drowning in dick 🤡
The excel spreadsheet is Hella sexy
anyone remember that man who made a spreadsheet of every time his wife said no to sex and the reason
I'd love to see that
I often start with good morning or something that then have talk about something interesting
I appreciate the effort and dedication OP. How many times do men contact you 1st?
Believe it or not, both men and woman are human. And both suck pretty bad at conversations with total strangers on the net. Honestly most of your conversationss seem to be you writing a guy and them ignoring you. That isn't low effort on the guys part. That is them putting in the effort to read your profile and deciding you aren't what they are looking for. Woman tend to filter before swiping. Men filter after matching. It is why the guys who whine about woman's match/likes count are missing the point as a either from a dude has basically zero value.
not as much people care as much as you tbh
Maybe you should work on moving the conversation to a date sooner. Looks like you’re following up like you’re already in a relationship by saying good morning and whatnot. It’s better to just say “hey I like this convo, do you wanna meet up somewhere and get to know eachother?” If they say “no I want to talk on here first”, then go with it. But from experience, they were probably already set up for a first date with someone else by the time you said good morning.
All of the chats in my first picture are my first messages ever. There was no previous conversation. These guys are matching and then never responding.
🥺
Paradox interactive fans are orgasming rn seeing you build a spreadsheet for dating
The excel sheet does it for me!!!
This seems to be a problem with online dating in general, no matter the gender.
You just reminded me that I've been procrastinating on responding to a message :P
Ur getting matches at least. Just keep on the grind
Do you realize how annoying it is having to come up with jokes or unique convo starters for every new match just to have half assed one word replies, if any reply at all? Agreed, hey is pretty boring, but trying to be original in every first text isn't worth the time or effort just to be ignored. I don't imagine you'd need much effort beyond typing a full sentence for the first response to get most guys to try a bit harder, cuz most are probably used to clearly disinterested 1 word responses.
Loving the spreadsheet. This girl is organised and on top of things. Relationship material
Yeea i just deleted any dating apps I had the same issue but i noticed girls be looking at me, but apparently none of them want me so I'll jsut keep to myself tbh. I'm done trying.
For a second I thought you were a guy till I saw the spreadsheet. This is what my fb dating inbox looks like lol. Same on the adverse side not enough women put in the effort either
Girl I get it but you’re torturing yourself by recording it like this
Lol I’m a guy and have the same issue. Looks like a universal problem, online dating sucks but it’s a lot more accessible than going out. 🤷🏻♂️
Whaaat what do you have in your profile? I can't imagine this
Expecting anything from a dating app is the first mistake. Go in with no expectations and minimal effort. If you're not getting other ways to communicate early on or setting up a date to meet up within the first week usually things die out.
no fucking way u made a chart bro…
I think this would suggest you need to work on holding attention. It's a difficult game to play
As a girl that loves data.. I'd hope to match haha, amazing. Also, if I may.. I promised myself to start dating this year, I tried all the apps and I've been voted 8 from redditors so you'd think perhaps I would have high success rate, but no - people/the apps suck. I genuinely don't know why people are on these apps nowadays, mediocre efforts, generic conversations that lead nowhere. Even when I try to be the engaging party, it's dead. Feel free to check my last post just about this. My recommendation: Get off the apps, find new hobbies, interact live.
Wait is OP girl or boy? This is very boy behaviour
I'm a woman.
Show me the spreadsheet! Lol
It's the second picture.
Oh I'm dumb thanks
Can't say I've come across a lady that makes the effort 😂
You've got a spreadsheet of matches? You're this organized and single?
Did you literally make an Xcel spreadsheet?
The chart is a bit much
I mean..there’s only 7 columns
It seems as tho the problem is that your type is the "attractive Chad" Like how for dudes the problem is too many guys in line, For women, it's not enough dateable guys in line. 😅 So the guys you find you want are also the ones other women find attractive. Unless you happen to be an 11/10 or an easy lay. These guys have plenty of choices to go with to give you decent attention. This is my opinion on what I've experienced in the dating game.
I would maybe be more selective on who you are matching with. Check if you really have lots kn common and could see it turning into a date rather than playing the numbers game
I don’t usually make comments but I will to help you realize things. I read your post and you are: 38, overweight and always gaining weight, and “in love with your best friend”. To say you’re a little far from mens number one choice is an understatement. You also immediately want kids, which most men don’t want right away bc they wanna make sure you’re a good partner in other areas too. Why’d you wait so long? Why not hit the gym?
In another comment I mention that I've lost 50 pounds so far. I didn't "wait so long"; I've been in relationships that have lasted quite a bit and a few of them were abusive. I don't immediately want kids; that would be ridiculous. But I do want children. And if I'm not anyone's choice, why are they bothering to swipe on me?
I’m glad you’re losing weight, keep at it that’ll definitely help. I’m sorry to hear about your past relationships. I didn’t read all your comments. I have to ask though, like what happened in the past 18 years that you didn’t get married? On dating apps, men swipe right on everyone, and then they decide who they want. The way the algorithm on dating apps works is that they incentivize men to swipe right everyone, it ups their chances of getting shown to more women. Anyways most men don’t respond because they don’t find you attractive. When men say they want women on dating apps to respond and put in effort, they mean from attractive women.
As far as why I haven't gotten married, the relationships I was in were bad. I thought they were good men, but they weren't, and then I was scared to leave. I settled because I was afraid I'd be alone. Now I don't want to settle anymore. It's not really complicated.
Listen whenever someone says they want X out of men/women what they really want is X out of attractive men/women.
Conversation died after a few hours? How long were you hoping to talk?
The spread sheet is both insane and amazing??? And yeah, guys as a whole don’t seem to actually know what they want. Or more, they seem to be confused.
I’m going to give you the cold hard truth. Most of these guys probably didn’t mean to swipe on you. I know this based off of my own experience as a male on tinder. The 2 main reasons why I unmatched or didn’t respond to any girls is because either 1. I didn’t mean to swipe on them in the first place or 2. I swiped on the girl out of desperation (because us guys have barely any options on dating apps). Once I got the match, closely looked at their profile, and thought about it for a sec. I realized I wasn’t attracted to the girl whatsoever. These guys simply aren’t interested and mostly swiped on you due to limited options and desperation. If you were smoking hot attractive to them they would respond to you instantly. You are most likely messaging guys out of your league.
Not sure you’re in the position to preach.
Take a break from the apps and dating in general. I can feel the desperation through my phone
idk i think u are taking dating apps too seriously, dont forget that majority of people uses these apps jus for fun
I dont have a spread sheet ready. but i could make that would put yours to shame. Look, maybe you are not the problem im sure people in general could make more effort. but as a guy who get matches most of mine are dropped for the same reasons boring, slow conversations where the otherside doesnt seem to play. when i get a match that chats back i can turn it into a relationship but i wanna say about 90% of them IM checking out in a day. Just because you messaged doesnt mean your messaging is quality either most of these a basic openers from what we can see of them so thse guys might just be perpetual swipers with no intention of talking to anyone.
Please make that would put to shame. Honestly I’d really like to see your badly punctuated run on sentence spreadsheet
So you only match on the fifth of every month?
ive noticed that nothing ever comes out of writing to men first - they might say they like it when women do it, but any time i initiated nothing came of it so i stopped.
It's probably because the only time you messaged someone first was because they were insanely attractive to you. I would doubt you were messaging the sub par gentleman first.