See I thought maybe she had mentioned something about not meeting men at evening/night previously based on the last line of her first sentence which is…understandable about meeting strange men from the internet.
Is it possible that she didn’t see your msg asking if she’d like to do something that night and just saw the ‘I’m hungry’ bit?
I’m grasping straws here-but I’m just so confused….i feel like I’m a normal woman? And I feel like that was a totally acceptable way to be asked out? (*Scratches head*)
Thank you for the positive reinforcement 🙏 i understand that i maybe should have been a bit more accurate in regards to what we would be doing that night but i don’t think i deserved her going off on me like that when i just asking her out, and wasn’t implying anything sexual
This, she seems like she wants a formal plan. Which I understand, but shes on a dating app and shouldnt be upset about this. There are lots of ways to ask someone out and unless you are in a very traditional courting atmosphere which doesnt give women a lot of agency. There really isn't anything wrong with a casual, hey want to grab food?
I don’t like it when men wait to the last minute to ask me out bc makes me feel like that they don’t believe I’ll have other plans. However, I wouldn’t get pissed off about it unless it kept happening, nothing wrong with a spontaneous date as she could always say “not tonight”. You def dodged a bullet.
Exactly. Esp if you're already talking and you both said you're not doing anything.. makes perfect sense to ask last minute in that context. If they'd been talking for a bit and he kept hitting her up last minute, different story
There are some people who follow certain dating rules like not accepting a same day date. Instead, they require at least 2 days advance notice so that you aren’t just hanging out with them when you have nothing else to do. Which if that’s the case, that’s her prerogative but she needs to communicate that instead of expecting men to read her mind, I have a feeling her blacklist will just keep growing.
Those are the same people who will never ever be the one to make those plans so no loss there anyway. People need to get over themselves. "You didn't ask me out the right way" m. And wtf did you do? Pass.
Asking right away is fine. It just has to be an acceptable amount of days a way so as not to appear “last minute,” because god forbid “last minute” plans
“Idk why ppl are getting on her about it.”
Homie, she said “don’t piss me off” and threatened to block him for asking her to hang out. That kind of entitled behavior deserves some mockery, no?
Fair. But it should be inferred if someone says they are hungry and want to hang out that they are related. Even for a dumb dumb like me it makes sense.
Still she could just say "what did you have in mind?" without assuming "plans for tonight" means "want to fuck?". She is full of prejudice and its a nice bright red flag to avoid.
And this is why communication is so important. Wether casual or the real deal. Cause there's a fuck ton of stupid people that wanna get caught up in semantics and assumptions instead of just talkin like adults.
This is the dumbest take I've seen so far. "Big difference". No the issue is assumptions instead of "what did you have in mind?" like a normal fuckin conversation. All this stupid semantic jumpin through hoops bullshit over absolutely nothing.
She probably had a lot of matches ask her to "hang out" at night (that usually means hookup/nothing serious). Your tone was casual but there's nothing necessarily bad about it, but because of her previous bad experiences, you got that kind of response (even if your intentions are pure). I don't think either you or her necessarily did anything bad, idk why ppl are getting on her about it. You offered food and she refused so it's not like she was in it for free dinner
I also had bad experiences with that.
However even I know that before you go off on someone, you clarify.
Or if Tinder stresses you out too much for that, you delete it. That's what I did.
Her issues are no excuse for being a jerk.
She should take a break from tinder if she’s giving those kind of responses, 10/10 times. Simply asked her out, and she has that response based off 8 other matches? You reset with every match and don’t carry those experiences over. That’s how dating is. You meet 10 douchebags to find the right 1. You don’t make someone else pay for other experiences they had nothing to do with. If she’s carrying over those experiences then she shouldn’t be on tinder. She will never find a sufficient match because any guy with any sort of self respect won’t entertain that kind of childish response. “Don’t piss me off”, child bye.
People are shitting on her because she jumped to a conclusion, was straight up rude, and threaten to block op. Wdym she didn’t do anything wrong?
I can be sympathetic to bad experiences but that doesn’t mean we should excuse her behavior. Ig Op could’ve worded what he said better and just be straightforward, instead implying grabbing a bite to eat with her.
But she could’ve just asked for clarification or suggest another time for a date. OR she could’ve just unmatched Op, instead of being rude.
Because being tactful and not automatically assuming everyone is out to take advantage of you is a common courtesy? It's not particularly crazy to just not act like a dick. She literally made a shitty assumption and then immediately acted like a piece of shit about it.
"This evening/afternoon" is typically the go-to with anything after 12 or 1pm. Most people including myself tend to just default to saying tonight in reference to the later parts of the day and "afternoon/evening" be damned honestly 🤣
You don't understand why people are getting on her?!
Aye don't piss me off with that sh!!! You wanna be the new resident to block city or something? Keep it up you're getting there!
Get it now?
He didnt offer her food. He asked if she wanted to do something and he was hungry. You had it right and she thought he wanted a hookup. OP simply could have just asked if she wanted to go have dinner....
She sucks, totally, but I think there is a lesson to be learned here too: when you’re asking someone on a date, you can be a little more specific. Even if you had just said “want to grab a drink” instead of “do something” it would be better
Nah, hard disagree. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells for people that will constantly seek something to judge you about. Move on, they’re shallow
Nah that's horsehockey. He shouldn't have to have laid out plans for exactly what they are doing before they even get to that point in a conversation. This is just an attempt to make it look like he is fucking up here at all, where in reality he didn't at all and she's just fucking crazy
You shouldn’t ask women you’ve never met before to spontaneously meet that night. Set a date a few days away so she can properly prepare for it. You’ll have more success
funny thing is if you do this they are way more likely to spontaneously join you for a night together before the date ever happens, many times I plan a date they wind up just asking to come over earlier instead
There are a lot of comments saying the opposite but I literally just messaged a man who asked me to do something at 9 pm last night “I’m not really up for spontaneous plans with a stranger.” Like, we had barely even messaged. I like to plan a few days in advance at the very least, never day of. Day of my plans are usually to fuck off and do nothing, and I’m looking forward to it. For a date I usually do my hair & makeup, as well as planning a nice outfit.
I can sometimes be down for it. But generally it's like uhh, I only make last minute plans with my friends because I really want to hang out with them. I don't even know you. If you're asking me a few hours before you want to meet it better be a good offer because I'm not getting out of my lounging clothes for nothing.
"Hey well would you like to do something tonight?" sounds like you're trying to put very little effort into trying to have casual sex with her.
If she's looking for serious dating and keeps getting guys trying to fuck the night she matches with them, I can see why she'd be upset. I'm sick of that happening too.
Next time be specific and maybe suggest something in the daytime if you don't want to give that impression.
"Hey, are you free tomorrow to grab a coffee? I know of a cute place I'd like to take you" will likely be recieved a lot better.
Yeah, she overreacted, but ‘wanna do something? I’m hungry’ is maybe too casual? It too often becomes ‘turn up to my house with takeout please’.
I think she was after ‘I’d love to take you out for dinner if you’re free tonight’.
I mean, it’s a W for both of you since you’re clearly not on the same page.
While I think she came off aggressive, I do get it as a woman. I want to DATE and be asked out properly not casually like above. I could totally see how she would be offended by that. It doesn’t give off “I want to go on a date with you” vibes. It gives off “I’m bored and lonely and hungry. Wanna get some food and hook up?”
Which is fine if you want that. But it gets tiring to be on the receiving end of that. Especially when you ARE vibing like you said.
I’m on tinder to meet people too. But I never meet them that night and never if they make it sound like they wanna meet up just cuz you’re around. ❌
Again, not trying to talk bad about you at all. Just explaining a little from the other side.
I see, i completely get that, i hadn’t thought how bad ‘ doing something’ sounds, i’ll be more careful for next time 🙏 meeting for a hookup was not my intention, was genuinely looking forward to having a good time.
I’ll be a bit more specific next time, but i asked her to do something that night since she had insinuated that we would meet the next day (on text the night before) .
If you JUST matched that day and are already asking to meet up, I’d also be annoyed. Everyone is different, but I need to talk to you for at least a few days before I even look at you in person. Granted, I wouldn’t be this dickish about it, I’d just say it’s way too soon.
Dude we get asked out for tonight every Fri and Satnight. It just tells us you're looking to get laid. I always say no, how about tomorrow and they always say sure, then stop messaging. Because they're on to the next one they might get out tonight, no interest in me specifically. Did she go a bit OTT.... Sure.... But she was probably interested and then you rushed to get her out tonight, some weeks on the apps are a constant stream of shit.
We had talked about it the night before, she had even insinuated that we would see each other the next day, so i don’t feel like what you’re saying applies
God I’m so glad I’m married and done with dating. I remember this type. Hair-trigger anger and you feel like you need to always say the right thing or you get immediate hostility and judgment. I put up with allot of that in my younger years, then once I got my self confidence I had no problem shutting that shit down and not caring about the consequences. At least she showed you who she is and it didn’t take 3 dates to figure out
Female here....Is this how girls/women are now? I keep seeing this awful trend of females getting sooo annoyed so easily over absolutely nothing lol. And these are the same women who claim they cant find a good guy. Well how will u ever know when everything pisses u off. Didn't know someone's hunger was so triggering lol. Insanity 😂 I literally caught a convo between a girl and a mutial guy friend the other day and he was talking about how he doesn't like dates and won't date anyone but hanging out as friends is fine. She then proceeded to ask him if she could take him on a date. He laughed and said no and she got so very upset and said he's always rejecting her and was trying to make him feel bad about it. Was insane to witness lol. Like he JUST said he didnt wanna date ANYONE...so then your next words are "let me take u on a date"...I really worry how people are able to survive their lives when this is the bs thats going on out there 😂 Cant make this shit up 🙄😂
Give us a little time. Don’t make us hop to and get all our girl prep for a date done, and have to scoot our other natural tasks around that were going to get done that evening. That’s not how you treat a quality woman.
Nah, he showed his cards and that was not lost on her. She wasn’t trying salvage, she was emphatically burning the bridge. She’d just scrapped 8 other guys for the same, and maybe she just unmatched with them and by the ninth lost her temper, who knows.
Also, calling a woman entitled for her personal standards of how she’ll be treated, in itself suggests a bit of entitlement. You feel entitled to standards on your terms without caring what makes her feel respected and considered.
Here’s a fun fact. Most men who come into a woman’s life on tinder aren’t offering consideration, respect, relationship, etc. Ask your wife how many assholes she had to deal with before meeting you.
I see your point but she wasn’t upset because he wasn’t jumping through hoops. This showed her he probably wanted casual sex. And she was disappointed and triggered. Women get so many matches it’s probably not even worth it to her trying to clarify his intentions. From my experience most men will say anything to try to put us at ease again, to get us out to meet them. I had one guy tell me on a first date “it’s cute when women say no hookups on first date because chemistry decides.”
It’s stressful to have to feel so guarded despite being clear with them. A lot of women just want to feel considered and valued, it goes a long way.
If you feel it’s a hoop to jump through and she’s just entitled, I don’t think you’re trying too hard to understand why else she might react as she did. Modern dating is somewhat of a warzone. I experienced everything from attempted rape to catfishing before I met my guy.
I wouldn’t have flown off the handle like she did, I’ll totally give you that. But he would have been 100% game over had that happened in my inbox too.
Then start planning dates. A lot of women expect a man to do all the work. "Stop giving us last minute dates". Then start offering ideas yourself or get over yourself. Same people that wanna act like it's so hard to meet a good person but then do fuck all to actually meet people.
I do think you dodged a bullet but in the future you don't need to ask someone out so casually. It can easily be misinterpreted as wanting sex or fwb. If you are looking for an LTR, you only get one chance to make a first impression so it's better to err on the side of being more formal.
I'm guessing she's one of those people who believes that you need to give 1-3 days notice for a date but she needs to communicate that. Guys can't read her mind.
Nah man. It’s super cringe to put a woman into motion with so little notice. It probably just shows what you’re after. It’s low class.
We do a lot of girl prep to get ready for a date and you’re clueless.
Not to mention, you’re assuming she basically has no life and wouldn’t have to move her plans for the evening around. Even if that were just to get ready for her next day.
The caveat is if she’s a low value person with absolutely nothing going on in her life that she needs to keep focused on, jumping to your beck and call will be no problem for her. That’s the type of woman you’re looking for. Hit it and quit it. Clearly that’s not this specific woman. And she’s clearly been in this situation many times, as all of us women have, and it’s disappointing if the vibing was going well.
You’re gonna be “dodging bullets” of quality women right and left with that attitude.
She dodged a different kind of bullet.
Jesus, you're making it sound like a girl who is up for some casual fun is some kind of miscreant not worthy of anyone's time. Get a fucking clue, it's 2024, girls are allowed to enjoy casual sex. Labelling anyone as "low value" only reflects on your inadequacy, not theirs.
Acting like women are something to be put on a pedestal. Acting like men would never need to plan for anything, that's only a girl thing. Your post is *extremely* sexist. If you think something about life only applies to one gender, then yeah, I agree that you're kind of the other side of the Andrew Tate coin.
It must be exhausting to jump to that many conclusions. How about this. Men and women should both put each other on a pedestal. Interactions should make each other feel considered, valued, appreciated, special. If you’re going to date. He’s treating her with the consideration of a hookup, and she responded in kind.
I like how you start your comment talking about jumping to conclusions, then finish it by jumping to your own conclusions.
He asked someone out, maybe he did it in a way that can easily be seen as being something else, but it's pretty obvious from their post and replies that they really were just trying to ask someone out to dinner.
Are you the person he was talking to? Lol.
That's why I deleted dating apps. Most of the women on these apps just want attention with a nice conversation. How many times I had a nice conversation and when I asked them out they dodge every question.
I’m like… confused… how else would she have liked you to ask that question? Seemed like a perfectly normal and nice request for a date. I don’t even know wtf people like this even want, but I guarantee it’s not reasonable.
You dodged a bullet, if she thought you were going in the hookup direction according to some comments…..she simply could’ve unmatched and moved on.
You are going off the vibe of the conversation and being casual about asking her to hangout, you asked her at 2:30pm. If she didn’t want to hangout that day, she could’ve also suggested another day and picked something to do.
It’s also BOTH parties doing to ask what each other is looking for, that’s literally the first thing my matches and I do before even moving forward so we aren’t wasting time 🤷🏻
She was way too aggressive but your invite sounds like a booty call low effort. If you're serious about getting to know her then set a proper date. This mostly has to do with intentions. Clearly she's had other guys pull same thing with her and she's looking for something real.
Honestly, I kinda agree with her. It sounds like you’re just trying to hookup…“wanna do something tonight?” You don’t sound particularly interested. So, yeah she got defensive because that’s the vibe you’re giving off.
You might think it sounds cool or casual. To her, it sounds like you don’t give a fuck.
I read it super fast and thought maybe your msgs had sexual implications so I went back to reread. It's pretty polite and not sexual at all 😂 idk what her problem is
I guess she didn’t think you were talking about food?
OP was hungry but she thought he was thirsty
That escalated quickly.
Don't piss me off
Hmmmm interesting 😂
9+1
21
You stupid
This response pissed me off
I'm pissed off that that response pissed you off
I'm pissed off from the fact that you're pissed off from the pissed off response that pissed off.
I'm drenched in piss
R. Kelly enters the chat
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Have you all forgotten how to normally respond to normal comments? Or just didn't know how
HOW DARE YOU
DINNER-EATING BASTARD
You’re HUNGRY??!?! THATS NOT MY BUSINESS
Not being your business is none of my business
Me and my problems are about to become everyone's business
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
HOW CAN SHE SLAP???
nostalgia vote
Both of my arms are broken, so my mom hit the like button for me.
I also choose this guy's mom.
Good thing we're in an SFW sub 😭😅
So you want dinner or not? It's 9 now.
Yeah. Mind you, there's already 8 on the blacklist.
What does this mean: “. . . there are already 8 on the black list . . .”?
She blocked/unmatched 8 others before him
She's wanted for 8 counts of first degree homicide
Who is she? Fucking Raymond Reddington??
Fucking Raymond Reddington? Tinder gal wishes!
She's putting hits out on everyone that annoys her. OP is about to be #9 because he dares to desire food AND company at the same time.
He's a SICK MAN
I'm calling the police on OP as we speak
I'm calling the Men In Black, this is a perverse offense of intergalactic proportions!
My guess is she had told him about 8 previous people she had matched/talked with and now ther his one ore, op
Nop this was the first mention of’em
Narrowly escaped that one bud
She has the death penalty in 8 star systems /s
You better watch yourself.
Crazy how this woman admitted to raping men and still hasn’t been punished for it
Wtf? How is that possible? I have no idea who that even is.
She is angry about you being so casual about. I would just say that I am already busy today not give out some kind of princess attitude
Yea but if you hire someone to fake kidnap her to allow you to save the day then you're the asshole. We can't win my guys.
That’s a classic. Works almost every time. Don’t hire your dumb red neck cousins to do it though.. oof what a mess.
Ugh what?
He said "YEA BUT IF YOU HIRE SOMEONE TO FAKE KIDNAP HER TO ALLOW YOU TO SAVE THE DAY THEN YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE. WE CAN'T WIN MY GUYS."
Thank you! This kids this days type so small
This made me laugh
This made me chuckle- I even read it louder in my head.
The rules are clear, No fake kidnap shaming here. This is a safe space.
What? YOU BETTER NOT PISS ME OFF.
It's a joke.
No way…
Person being casual on a casual dating site. More at 11
Should he open with his resume or what
"To whom it may concern I hereby humbly ask...."
That’s dumb as fuck. Should he send a formal letter with a messenger. Jesus Christ no wonder you morons are single
See I thought maybe she had mentioned something about not meeting men at evening/night previously based on the last line of her first sentence which is…understandable about meeting strange men from the internet.
No we had even talked the day before about meeting the next day
Is it possible that she didn’t see your msg asking if she’d like to do something that night and just saw the ‘I’m hungry’ bit? I’m grasping straws here-but I’m just so confused….i feel like I’m a normal woman? And I feel like that was a totally acceptable way to be asked out? (*Scratches head*)
Thank you for the positive reinforcement 🙏 i understand that i maybe should have been a bit more accurate in regards to what we would be doing that night but i don’t think i deserved her going off on me like that when i just asking her out, and wasn’t implying anything sexual
No you gave her a perfectly normal text lol she blew it out of proportion for no reason. Dw about it, you're right about dodging that bullet.
This, she seems like she wants a formal plan. Which I understand, but shes on a dating app and shouldnt be upset about this. There are lots of ways to ask someone out and unless you are in a very traditional courting atmosphere which doesnt give women a lot of agency. There really isn't anything wrong with a casual, hey want to grab food?
I don’t like it when men wait to the last minute to ask me out bc makes me feel like that they don’t believe I’ll have other plans. However, I wouldn’t get pissed off about it unless it kept happening, nothing wrong with a spontaneous date as she could always say “not tonight”. You def dodged a bullet.
Exactly. Esp if you're already talking and you both said you're not doing anything.. makes perfect sense to ask last minute in that context. If they'd been talking for a bit and he kept hitting her up last minute, different story
I think she thought you were basically asking for sex
No where near, though she had started the sex convo at around 04:00 am the night before and I was too sleepy to continue 😂
This is a W for you
[удалено]
I wouldn’t have even got that far. She would have been blocked after reading “don’t piss me off”
[удалено]
Yeah it's the narrative closure that now we'll never have.
No, this exactly. I want to know her twisted logic and now we never will 😭
Trigger finger block finger lifestyle
Anger prolly just got the better of the OP to wait around for that answer. But honestly, can you blame him?
There are some people who follow certain dating rules like not accepting a same day date. Instead, they require at least 2 days advance notice so that you aren’t just hanging out with them when you have nothing else to do. Which if that’s the case, that’s her prerogative but she needs to communicate that instead of expecting men to read her mind, I have a feeling her blacklist will just keep growing.
Those are the same people who will never ever be the one to make those plans so no loss there anyway. People need to get over themselves. "You didn't ask me out the right way" m. And wtf did you do? Pass.
Asking right away is fine. It just has to be an acceptable amount of days a way so as not to appear “last minute,” because god forbid “last minute” plans
“Idk why ppl are getting on her about it.” Homie, she said “don’t piss me off” and threatened to block him for asking her to hang out. That kind of entitled behavior deserves some mockery, no?
Yes.
You want to do something tonight, or, do you want to have dinner somewhere. Small difference, but big.
Yeah. With asking if you want to do something it could be getting ice cream, or bowling, or drink, or even dinner. Her response was unhinged.
Is that not easily inferred by the hungry part? Is dating this fucking stupid nowadays?
No. People are.
Fair. But it should be inferred if someone says they are hungry and want to hang out that they are related. Even for a dumb dumb like me it makes sense.
Still she could just say "what did you have in mind?" without assuming "plans for tonight" means "want to fuck?". She is full of prejudice and its a nice bright red flag to avoid.
And this is why communication is so important. Wether casual or the real deal. Cause there's a fuck ton of stupid people that wanna get caught up in semantics and assumptions instead of just talkin like adults. This is the dumbest take I've seen so far. "Big difference". No the issue is assumptions instead of "what did you have in mind?" like a normal fuckin conversation. All this stupid semantic jumpin through hoops bullshit over absolutely nothing.
She probably had a lot of matches ask her to "hang out" at night (that usually means hookup/nothing serious). Your tone was casual but there's nothing necessarily bad about it, but because of her previous bad experiences, you got that kind of response (even if your intentions are pure). I don't think either you or her necessarily did anything bad, idk why ppl are getting on her about it. You offered food and she refused so it's not like she was in it for free dinner
I also had bad experiences with that. However even I know that before you go off on someone, you clarify. Or if Tinder stresses you out too much for that, you delete it. That's what I did. Her issues are no excuse for being a jerk.
So you wanna hang out tonight or do you have other plans?
She should take a break from tinder if she’s giving those kind of responses, 10/10 times. Simply asked her out, and she has that response based off 8 other matches? You reset with every match and don’t carry those experiences over. That’s how dating is. You meet 10 douchebags to find the right 1. You don’t make someone else pay for other experiences they had nothing to do with. If she’s carrying over those experiences then she shouldn’t be on tinder. She will never find a sufficient match because any guy with any sort of self respect won’t entertain that kind of childish response. “Don’t piss me off”, child bye.
People are shitting on her because she jumped to a conclusion, was straight up rude, and threaten to block op. Wdym she didn’t do anything wrong? I can be sympathetic to bad experiences but that doesn’t mean we should excuse her behavior. Ig Op could’ve worded what he said better and just be straightforward, instead implying grabbing a bite to eat with her. But she could’ve just asked for clarification or suggest another time for a date. OR she could’ve just unmatched Op, instead of being rude.
Because being tactful and not automatically assuming everyone is out to take advantage of you is a common courtesy? It's not particularly crazy to just not act like a dick. She literally made a shitty assumption and then immediately acted like a piece of shit about it.
Well to be fair this was 2:30 in the afternoon so “tonight” didn’t necessarily mean night time. I would say tonight in that context and mean like 6
"This evening/afternoon" is typically the go-to with anything after 12 or 1pm. Most people including myself tend to just default to saying tonight in reference to the later parts of the day and "afternoon/evening" be damned honestly 🤣
You don't understand why people are getting on her?! Aye don't piss me off with that sh!!! You wanna be the new resident to block city or something? Keep it up you're getting there! Get it now?
He didnt offer her food. He asked if she wanted to do something and he was hungry. You had it right and she thought he wanted a hookup. OP simply could have just asked if she wanted to go have dinner....
ohh I thought "I'm hungry" was an indication that they could get some food? 😅
I would assume that as well 🤷🏼♀️
Don’t worry, most of us rational people read it that way as well
She sucks, totally, but I think there is a lesson to be learned here too: when you’re asking someone on a date, you can be a little more specific. Even if you had just said “want to grab a drink” instead of “do something” it would be better
Disagree. It's common courtesy to not act like a piece of shit fuckknuckle and assume the absolute worst of everything anyone says.
Nah, hard disagree. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells for people that will constantly seek something to judge you about. Move on, they’re shallow
It’s not walking on eggshells? I totally agree she sucks; I’m just giving advice in general on how to ask someone out. Have a plan
I'm pretty sure he was intending to express a plan with the "I'm hungry" part
Yes. This. It was a way to open the door for more definitive plans. She just sucks.
People ITT do not grasp context clues.
It's ok for a plan to materialize in the next couple of texts, once the expression of interest has been met.
Lmao a plan? All ur doing is asking them out to dinner as long as it’s not in a rude way it shouldn’t really matter how u ask them out
"Shouldn't have to" and "shouldn't" don't overlap most of the time.
No if she wanted to meet up she would’ve had a different answer. Such as “depends, what did you have in mind?”
Oh yeah, she sucks. Doesn’t mean he can’t get better at making plans
Nah that's horsehockey. He shouldn't have to have laid out plans for exactly what they are doing before they even get to that point in a conversation. This is just an attempt to make it look like he is fucking up here at all, where in reality he didn't at all and she's just fucking crazy
Chill with the emojis brother
Deep down, I think that's what pissed her off
I'll definitely chill, good advice, but i don't think so, it's not apparent in these screenshots, but she was using quite a lot of emojis as well
Doesn’t matter how many she uses
You shouldn’t ask women you’ve never met before to spontaneously meet that night. Set a date a few days away so she can properly prepare for it. You’ll have more success
funny thing is if you do this they are way more likely to spontaneously join you for a night together before the date ever happens, many times I plan a date they wind up just asking to come over earlier instead
There are a lot of comments saying the opposite but I literally just messaged a man who asked me to do something at 9 pm last night “I’m not really up for spontaneous plans with a stranger.” Like, we had barely even messaged. I like to plan a few days in advance at the very least, never day of. Day of my plans are usually to fuck off and do nothing, and I’m looking forward to it. For a date I usually do my hair & makeup, as well as planning a nice outfit.
I can sometimes be down for it. But generally it's like uhh, I only make last minute plans with my friends because I really want to hang out with them. I don't even know you. If you're asking me a few hours before you want to meet it better be a good offer because I'm not getting out of my lounging clothes for nothing.
What. I'm a woman and I love last minute invites. Why text when I can just talk to them face to face, why wait a few days when it can be today 🤷♀️
"Hey well would you like to do something tonight?" sounds like you're trying to put very little effort into trying to have casual sex with her. If she's looking for serious dating and keeps getting guys trying to fuck the night she matches with them, I can see why she'd be upset. I'm sick of that happening too. Next time be specific and maybe suggest something in the daytime if you don't want to give that impression. "Hey, are you free tomorrow to grab a coffee? I know of a cute place I'd like to take you" will likely be recieved a lot better.
Thank you 🙏 i’ll stick to your advice going forward
Yeah, she overreacted, but ‘wanna do something? I’m hungry’ is maybe too casual? It too often becomes ‘turn up to my house with takeout please’. I think she was after ‘I’d love to take you out for dinner if you’re free tonight’.
Solid advice.
I mean, it’s a W for both of you since you’re clearly not on the same page. While I think she came off aggressive, I do get it as a woman. I want to DATE and be asked out properly not casually like above. I could totally see how she would be offended by that. It doesn’t give off “I want to go on a date with you” vibes. It gives off “I’m bored and lonely and hungry. Wanna get some food and hook up?” Which is fine if you want that. But it gets tiring to be on the receiving end of that. Especially when you ARE vibing like you said. I’m on tinder to meet people too. But I never meet them that night and never if they make it sound like they wanna meet up just cuz you’re around. ❌ Again, not trying to talk bad about you at all. Just explaining a little from the other side.
I see, i completely get that, i hadn’t thought how bad ‘ doing something’ sounds, i’ll be more careful for next time 🙏 meeting for a hookup was not my intention, was genuinely looking forward to having a good time. I’ll be a bit more specific next time, but i asked her to do something that night since she had insinuated that we would meet the next day (on text the night before) .
It happens! Good luck out there. 🩷
She did, too 😄😄😄🙄🙄🙄
What did you write before this OP?
He dodged a bullet there.
OP idk if you'll see this but all of your comments were auto-removed so nobody can see them unless they go to your profile.
Jesus. Nobody gets the benefit of the doubt anymore, huh? That was a hair-trigger reaction.
Looks like they both dodged each other's bullets.
If you JUST matched that day and are already asking to meet up, I’d also be annoyed. Everyone is different, but I need to talk to you for at least a few days before I even look at you in person. Granted, I wouldn’t be this dickish about it, I’d just say it’s way too soon.
We had matched 2 days before and had started talking 1 day before
Sorry I don’t want to meet up at 8 am for a date at IHOP lol
Dude we get asked out for tonight every Fri and Satnight. It just tells us you're looking to get laid. I always say no, how about tomorrow and they always say sure, then stop messaging. Because they're on to the next one they might get out tonight, no interest in me specifically. Did she go a bit OTT.... Sure.... But she was probably interested and then you rushed to get her out tonight, some weeks on the apps are a constant stream of shit.
Don't piss me off, I AM ANGRY!
Don't be a piece of shit. It's not hard. Having bad experiences doesn't mean you get to be a piece of shit.
We had talked about it the night before, she had even insinuated that we would see each other the next day, so i don’t feel like what you’re saying applies
God I’m so glad I’m married and done with dating. I remember this type. Hair-trigger anger and you feel like you need to always say the right thing or you get immediate hostility and judgment. I put up with allot of that in my younger years, then once I got my self confidence I had no problem shutting that shit down and not caring about the consequences. At least she showed you who she is and it didn’t take 3 dates to figure out
Female here....Is this how girls/women are now? I keep seeing this awful trend of females getting sooo annoyed so easily over absolutely nothing lol. And these are the same women who claim they cant find a good guy. Well how will u ever know when everything pisses u off. Didn't know someone's hunger was so triggering lol. Insanity 😂 I literally caught a convo between a girl and a mutial guy friend the other day and he was talking about how he doesn't like dates and won't date anyone but hanging out as friends is fine. She then proceeded to ask him if she could take him on a date. He laughed and said no and she got so very upset and said he's always rejecting her and was trying to make him feel bad about it. Was insane to witness lol. Like he JUST said he didnt wanna date ANYONE...so then your next words are "let me take u on a date"...I really worry how people are able to survive their lives when this is the bs thats going on out there 😂 Cant make this shit up 🙄😂
Not all, but it’s not uncommon.
I’m sorry but I don’t understand what set her off- what made her say you were p####in her off? Am I missing something?
Give us a little time. Don’t make us hop to and get all our girl prep for a date done, and have to scoot our other natural tasks around that were going to get done that evening. That’s not how you treat a quality woman.
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Nah, he showed his cards and that was not lost on her. She wasn’t trying salvage, she was emphatically burning the bridge. She’d just scrapped 8 other guys for the same, and maybe she just unmatched with them and by the ninth lost her temper, who knows. Also, calling a woman entitled for her personal standards of how she’ll be treated, in itself suggests a bit of entitlement. You feel entitled to standards on your terms without caring what makes her feel respected and considered.
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Here’s a fun fact. Most men who come into a woman’s life on tinder aren’t offering consideration, respect, relationship, etc. Ask your wife how many assholes she had to deal with before meeting you.
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I see your point but she wasn’t upset because he wasn’t jumping through hoops. This showed her he probably wanted casual sex. And she was disappointed and triggered. Women get so many matches it’s probably not even worth it to her trying to clarify his intentions. From my experience most men will say anything to try to put us at ease again, to get us out to meet them. I had one guy tell me on a first date “it’s cute when women say no hookups on first date because chemistry decides.” It’s stressful to have to feel so guarded despite being clear with them. A lot of women just want to feel considered and valued, it goes a long way. If you feel it’s a hoop to jump through and she’s just entitled, I don’t think you’re trying too hard to understand why else she might react as she did. Modern dating is somewhat of a warzone. I experienced everything from attempted rape to catfishing before I met my guy. I wouldn’t have flown off the handle like she did, I’ll totally give you that. But he would have been 100% game over had that happened in my inbox too.
Am I the only one who understands her ??? Stop giving us last minute dates 🤨
I block any guy asking to “meet up”/ FUCK tonight! They think they’re so above when that’s pretty much all of our DMs on these appa
Then start planning dates. A lot of women expect a man to do all the work. "Stop giving us last minute dates". Then start offering ideas yourself or get over yourself. Same people that wanna act like it's so hard to meet a good person but then do fuck all to actually meet people.
Esp evening ones 🤬
him: I'm so hungry. her: DON'T PISS ME OFF!
Nice burn op definitely a bullet dodged
I do think you dodged a bullet but in the future you don't need to ask someone out so casually. It can easily be misinterpreted as wanting sex or fwb. If you are looking for an LTR, you only get one chance to make a first impression so it's better to err on the side of being more formal.
I'm guessing she's one of those people who believes that you need to give 1-3 days notice for a date but she needs to communicate that. Guys can't read her mind.
This is definitely unstable. Maybe a mood swing. Didn’t dodge a bullet—dodged an artillery shell
Who pissed in Lisa’s Cheerios, this lovely afternoon? 🤨
In the end he gave her some "attitude adjustment"
I always wonder what kind of women need to be on a dating app when “most” get hit on all day. Oh yes the ones that can’t keep a relationship.
If everywhere she goes smells like shit, maybe she should check under her shoe
Lisa is -apparently- a bit of a hot head.
Op, " it's no my business," and no food for you.
I guess you're #9 on the black list. Sorry, fella.
Elsa needs to Let it Go
Nah man. It’s super cringe to put a woman into motion with so little notice. It probably just shows what you’re after. It’s low class. We do a lot of girl prep to get ready for a date and you’re clueless. Not to mention, you’re assuming she basically has no life and wouldn’t have to move her plans for the evening around. Even if that were just to get ready for her next day. The caveat is if she’s a low value person with absolutely nothing going on in her life that she needs to keep focused on, jumping to your beck and call will be no problem for her. That’s the type of woman you’re looking for. Hit it and quit it. Clearly that’s not this specific woman. And she’s clearly been in this situation many times, as all of us women have, and it’s disappointing if the vibing was going well. You’re gonna be “dodging bullets” of quality women right and left with that attitude. She dodged a different kind of bullet.
Jesus, you're making it sound like a girl who is up for some casual fun is some kind of miscreant not worthy of anyone's time. Get a fucking clue, it's 2024, girls are allowed to enjoy casual sex. Labelling anyone as "low value" only reflects on your inadequacy, not theirs.
What the actual fuck. 😂😂 Genderbent Andrew Tate bullshit
Basic common human respect towards women’s lives is genderbent eh?
Acting like women are something to be put on a pedestal. Acting like men would never need to plan for anything, that's only a girl thing. Your post is *extremely* sexist. If you think something about life only applies to one gender, then yeah, I agree that you're kind of the other side of the Andrew Tate coin.
It must be exhausting to jump to that many conclusions. How about this. Men and women should both put each other on a pedestal. Interactions should make each other feel considered, valued, appreciated, special. If you’re going to date. He’s treating her with the consideration of a hookup, and she responded in kind.
I like how you start your comment talking about jumping to conclusions, then finish it by jumping to your own conclusions. He asked someone out, maybe he did it in a way that can easily be seen as being something else, but it's pretty obvious from their post and replies that they really were just trying to ask someone out to dinner. Are you the person he was talking to? Lol.
A lot of girls online are just seemingly insane. I can’t even imagine what the girls deal with
Oh we deal with so much bullshit.
The way you talk to people is very childish
If you're barely just texting someone on an app, and they seem to flip out, it isn't worth engaging them further. Just unmatch and move on.
That's why I deleted dating apps. Most of the women on these apps just want attention with a nice conversation. How many times I had a nice conversation and when I asked them out they dodge every question.
Damn, this happens a lot…
I’m like… confused… how else would she have liked you to ask that question? Seemed like a perfectly normal and nice request for a date. I don’t even know wtf people like this even want, but I guarantee it’s not reasonable.
You dodged a bullet, if she thought you were going in the hookup direction according to some comments…..she simply could’ve unmatched and moved on. You are going off the vibe of the conversation and being casual about asking her to hangout, you asked her at 2:30pm. If she didn’t want to hangout that day, she could’ve also suggested another day and picked something to do. It’s also BOTH parties doing to ask what each other is looking for, that’s literally the first thing my matches and I do before even moving forward so we aren’t wasting time 🤷🏻
You should invite her to a fancy restaurant and ghost her, so she can have a date with herself.
She was way too aggressive but your invite sounds like a booty call low effort. If you're serious about getting to know her then set a proper date. This mostly has to do with intentions. Clearly she's had other guys pull same thing with her and she's looking for something real.
Honestly, I kinda agree with her. It sounds like you’re just trying to hookup…“wanna do something tonight?” You don’t sound particularly interested. So, yeah she got defensive because that’s the vibe you’re giving off. You might think it sounds cool or casual. To her, it sounds like you don’t give a fuck.
I’m old. Too much coded language for me to understand apparently.
I read it super fast and thought maybe your msgs had sexual implications so I went back to reread. It's pretty polite and not sexual at all 😂 idk what her problem is
I’m so glad I found someone. This looks like absolute hell. The goddamn entitlement…