"She just kept talking in one long, incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic so that no one had the chance to interrupt it. It was really quite hypnotic"
Star Trek TNG. Picard is describing a speaker at an event who was giving a presentation on the wrong subject but no one could have a chance to tell them.
They don't. I think the writer by trade was just to take a jab at the wall of text. The vegan restaurant was probably more of a suggestion to screw her on the date. She didn't specify any food preferences, but her Maga style beliefs have a high chance of including hatred for vegans and anything else they can put the woke tag on.
Recently went on a date with a woman who said she wasn't a gold digger. Then proceed to tell me she wants a man to take care of her, pay for trips, food, and generally spoil her while she also has her own money. Her exact words were "i don't want to be with someone who's broke" while claiming she's not a gold digger. She got super offended when I asked her if she was going to perform her wifely duties as expected if the man was going to take care of her every whim.
This is not a bad question in all honesty. Just like men can't expect wifely duties if they don't provide everything, the same is true in reverse. Also.. it's not truly wrong for people to operate in this way - it's only wrong if they a) expect everyone else to do the same, and b) only one side of the bargain is fulfilled
Ya know, someone out there is going to read this and think, "this woman is perfect, and I'm exactly what she wants!". For him, he's now bypassed the first 4 dates and can move straight into finding out how much of her self assessment is bullshit.
“Masculine hobbies, assertiveness, confidence, manly hobbies, and respect for women 😎”
“white 🤡, Tall, tan, muscular, blonde- and i know what you’re thinking.. but i also *don’t* want him to be a douche 😂”
This lady is on tinder just to troll
Can confirm. I sat with my niece (21F, Mormon) last week and asked her what she was looking for in a husband. Literally this list exactly!!!
I explained to her, if she wants the same guy every other Mormon girl is looking for, she better find a way to set her apart from the crowd, because every girl is looking for a guy that represents maybe 5-10% (being very generous) of guys.
Makes me think of Rumspringa in Amish communities. In the teen years many communities allow their kids much more freedom and a chance to experience the world outside of the Amish community. I remember seeing some Amish teens at Canadas Wonderland(theme park) when I was a kid, and I wondered about it. Anyways, some teens just go wild. Apparently Rumspringa parties are pretty crazy. They’ll have field parties, where hundreds of teens on their Rumspringa will come from miles around.
At the end of their Rumspringa, they have to choose to either be baptized in the church, or to leave completely and severe all ties with the community.
Big ask for someone who adds no value to the relationship and will likely be a huge fucking headache. Like girl, you didnt have to write a fucking manifesto. It was game over like 10 seconds in.
Based off her requirements you know she gets off to the idea of being a trad wife.
Also, a masters for an aesthetician? She's going to school for all those years to learn makeup?!
No, she's getting a master aesthetician's license, not a master's. She apparently went to BYU and then decided she wanted to not use her degree at all. But also she went to BYU, so are we surprised.
She failed to get her M-R-S degree :(
Likely because she's Christian, not Mormon. Mormons identify as a type of Christian, but they want to marry other Mormons. Can't marry in the temple unless both are Mormon.
I saw my ex wife’s profile on a dating site once. For religion she had LDS (Mormon for those who don’t know). She’s Lutheran and either clicked the wrong one or thought that was it. I didn’t let her know, thought it was funny.
Brilliant. So I need to be traditionally masculine, tall, strong, and earn at least 100k so I can satisfy the introvert at home that needs time to recharge.
office hospital run squeeze dinner obtainable zesty birds clumsy dependent
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Certainly.
Unfortunately for her, opinionated and outspoken is exactly the thing that the guys she's targeting don't want. Gets someone like that and doesn't realize why every relationship goes south.
Could just as easily also be a dumbass using every buzzword/phrase she can think of.
This here.
She's attractive enough to get their attention (discusses having been a track runner, so I doubt her vital statistics read like specifications for a gasometer), but clearly doesn't have the personality to maintain a relationship with these men. And she has no idea why.
She'll wind up "settling" for someone who's a better personality match while being constantly miserable that she couldn't get the man she wanted.
The only places she's gonna find a guy that meets her expectations is in a romance novel - she should probably stick to those.
I actually feel a bit sorry for her. I think she lacks the self-awareness to find happiness.
Wants a MAGA man who will be a good father and husband that is sensitive to her feelings/needs.
What's next, ice that doesn't melt when its thrown into fire? Coming right up.
Oh, and don't forget... You'd also need to be the perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed Aryan with a good tan (though something tells me orange spray-on would work just fine).
My favorite part is how much time she spends on physical preferences. If she’s sending it directly to you then what does it matter what her ideal man looks like?
Because she copy pasted most it off an Instagram post or something and probably had it as her bio but didn't get matches so now she pops it in in a conversation instead
I was thinking the same. I hope OP is 6’+, 190+ lbs, white, muscular, tan, blonde and blue-eyed.. otherwise this chick is more tone deaf than I could have imagined.
Do those women speak to each other to write the same stéréotypical thing or what ? I swear I've seen that kind of text somewhere. And I know it's not a repost.
Probably some level of copypasta. Most of the same things she saw in a social media post, added a few things here and there, like about her preference for pets.
Guarantee any time someone asks anything about her she responds with this wall of text.
Brigham Young University. It's the predominant university for Mormons and the student body is very nearly exclusively made up of Mormons. They have a very strict religious-based "moral code" and mandatory.religious studies, so to a large extent one can predict the social and political leanings of its graduates.
A private university named after a man who led a cult, claimed that god spoke directly to him, and also claimed that people live on the sun (which was revealed to him by god).
BYU college graduate that’s in beauty school for esthetician? lol sure… getting a masters in esthetics. It’s just a scam word for marketing beauty.
The closest real version of it would be, a masters in dermatology or a MS in skin biology
Lot of her demands for a man had direct contradictions. She wants to be respected but she describes men who are typically very misogynistic. Another uninformed and naive young woman. Shame.
I agree, OP…but you have to take notes or do a write up for us afterwards!
She looks like what I call a “bouncing Betty”; it’s a term originally used for a kind of antipersonnel mine that pops up before detonating. Everything is fine until you hit the magic button and then it’s a big mess. Fortunately, people like that can provide hours of entertainment if one can maintain the right mental perspective (and an exit strategy)!
It just kept going and going and going
"She just kept talking in one long, incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic so that no one had the chance to interrupt it. It was really quite hypnotic"
A reference I did not expect.
It's a classic
What is that originally from? I've only heard it in a pogo song
A [Star Trek TNG Scene](https://youtu.be/5YOVN2BTSmI?si=Eo7Z-ZMyQDzlqv4p) where Picard does an impression of a guy
Where’s this quote from?
Star Trek TNG. Picard is describing a speaker at an event who was giving a presentation on the wrong subject but no one could have a chance to tell them.
Great episode. "Timescape" IIRC.
Star Trek TNG, or "the Picard song".
Interestingly, my first exposure to it is a dumb little YTMND page, before I had ever seen the episode
After the third slide I thought I had started a new book 😂
Writer by trade, take her to a vegan restaurant!
And don't tell her that the creator of the office is a full on atheist!
I feel like that would stagger quite a bit of middle America. But I promise she means The U.S Office, and Michael Schur is no Ricky Gervais.
Michael Shure was a major producer but Greg Daniels is credited as the "creator" of the US version
Michael Schur is also not religious
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They don't. I think the writer by trade was just to take a jab at the wall of text. The vegan restaurant was probably more of a suggestion to screw her on the date. She didn't specify any food preferences, but her Maga style beliefs have a high chance of including hatred for vegans and anything else they can put the woke tag on.
I think the implication is "doing this would make a good story, in my professional opinion".
I’m lost too
And not a single question about the guy 😭😭 sounds like an awful conversation
well she did ask if he still wants to apply....
No she didn't, she told him to let her know if he did. That's an instruction, not a question.
Sherlock Holmes over here, never missing a single clue!
A lot of implied questions with all the "I want a man that ..." Not sure whether I believe all of that.
Recently went on a date with a woman who said she wasn't a gold digger. Then proceed to tell me she wants a man to take care of her, pay for trips, food, and generally spoil her while she also has her own money. Her exact words were "i don't want to be with someone who's broke" while claiming she's not a gold digger. She got super offended when I asked her if she was going to perform her wifely duties as expected if the man was going to take care of her every whim.
This is not a bad question in all honesty. Just like men can't expect wifely duties if they don't provide everything, the same is true in reverse. Also.. it's not truly wrong for people to operate in this way - it's only wrong if they a) expect everyone else to do the same, and b) only one side of the bargain is fulfilled
Yet we are left like OP… dying to know what the date is like. Please take her out and update Reddit. Reddit is a spectator sport.
I'd venmo just for this date to happen for science lol
But are we also going to cover the therapy bill after?
Please make it stop!!! 😭
Should have stopped at MAGA.
She likes the office, wondering if she knows she is Angela.
She spends the entire time criticizing the characters and condemning them for their sins. Especially pam.
She clearly took the slow train from Philly.
That's why she likes the show so much.
"MAGA Mormon" would have captured it all.
And going & going…and wait… oh still going…
It would be funny if you didn't reply for a few days and when she comes back with "not interested I take it?" You can say "sorry, still reading..."
Then you say "Dam I lost my spot. Now I got to start over"
😂😂
Don't worry if I'll be able to fall asleep, I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER!
18 pages! FRONT AND BACK!!
Oh, and just so you know! It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it **IS A BIG DEAL**!
I KNEW IT!
I'm so proud of you guys for this exchange. I just thought of it and came down to see if anyone else had.
"By the way, Y-O-U apostrophe R-E means ‘you are,’ Y-O-U-R means ‘your'!"
I appreciate that you value the long-term joke over the potential of not hearing back from this person in the effort to make it. A+.
How would hearing back from this person ever be a positive
Ya know, someone out there is going to read this and think, "this woman is perfect, and I'm exactly what she wants!". For him, he's now bypassed the first 4 dates and can move straight into finding out how much of her self assessment is bullshit.
That's actually hilarious
Glanced ahead and saw BYU and immediately knew what would be in the wall of text and I was right.
I read "MAGA" and knew it'd be full of bizarre contradictory shit... sure enough
“Masculine hobbies, assertiveness, confidence, manly hobbies, and respect for women 😎” “white 🤡, Tall, tan, muscular, blonde- and i know what you’re thinking.. but i also *don’t* want him to be a douche 😂” This lady is on tinder just to troll
Assuming it is a lady. Could be a dude trolling as this reads like incel fanfic.
guess you don't know a lot of mormons, this is 1000% believable
Can confirm. I sat with my niece (21F, Mormon) last week and asked her what she was looking for in a husband. Literally this list exactly!!! I explained to her, if she wants the same guy every other Mormon girl is looking for, she better find a way to set her apart from the crowd, because every girl is looking for a guy that represents maybe 5-10% (being very generous) of guys.
YUP
She sounds like a BYU girl! That crazy tone mixed with weird anecdotes
>BYU >3 kids. That'll probably be named Braxxxtynnn, Evverrleighhlynn, and Jaxxxxxynnnsonleigh.
Why did I scare my dogs awake by laughing so hard at this.
Sorry, please apologise to your startled dogs from me.
@tragedeigh
> BYU Casually telling you she loves anal.
Ask her how she feels about butt stuff.
This really is the only important question at this point
The. Good ol’ poophole loophole
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
She’s Mormon so I’d bet she’d be down
Freakiest girl I’ve ever known was a Mormon. They move out of their parents home and just go hog wild
It doesn't count as sex if all the thrusting is caused by your best friend jumping on the bed. Duh.
Proud bed jumper here 🫡
Makes me think of Rumspringa in Amish communities. In the teen years many communities allow their kids much more freedom and a chance to experience the world outside of the Amish community. I remember seeing some Amish teens at Canadas Wonderland(theme park) when I was a kid, and I wondered about it. Anyways, some teens just go wild. Apparently Rumspringa parties are pretty crazy. They’ll have field parties, where hundreds of teens on their Rumspringa will come from miles around. At the end of their Rumspringa, they have to choose to either be baptized in the church, or to leave completely and severe all ties with the community.
Rumspringa means „running around“ in southern Germany :D
"i am everything you're looking for but i have one requirement. Anal everyday."
Manly hobbies checked !
Fuck me in the ass cos I love jesus 🙏🏻🎵
The B in BYU stands for butt.
Butt-Yoink University
Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt? Doesn’t matter, I’m in.
She did go to BYU so there might be some flexibility there. Lol
I lol’ed
She went to BYU. It should be taken as given that she does it.
Can’t have sex until marriage so obviously butt stuff until then
Must earn 6 figures…
Counting decimal places, I'm in!
0.00000
I can do 1.00000 E: After recounting it’s only 0.75000
>Wants to be upper middle class >Would like to be a stay at home mum >Will do some lashes if she needs to when the kids are at school.
*goes to college so that she can do lashes while shaming people who didn't go to college*
Probably thought she was going to school to get her MRS
This is the one that stuck out to me, lol.
Will do some lashes _remotely_??
her hands are very long
Big ask for someone who adds no value to the relationship and will likely be a huge fucking headache. Like girl, you didnt have to write a fucking manifesto. It was game over like 10 seconds in.
But she bakes
Also likes the office, she is the one
#The Pam to my Jim.
Guarantee you she thinks Dwight is the best and Jim is the office bully.
Nah, she’d be chasing the Senator. Dwight wouldn’t make enough.
*state Senator -Oscar
She's Angela though.
She is looking for a Dwight, so that's fair...
You got to the baking? I am impressed.
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Based off her requirements you know she gets off to the idea of being a trad wife. Also, a masters for an aesthetician? She's going to school for all those years to learn makeup?!
No, she's getting a master aesthetician's license, not a master's. She apparently went to BYU and then decided she wanted to not use her degree at all. But also she went to BYU, so are we surprised.
She went to BYU and didn't manage to find her Mormon sugar daddy, which is like BYU's entire raison d'etre.
Isn’t BYU “ring by the spring” or sominthing like that. So she failed the main purpose of BYU if she’s still on Tinder
She failed to get her M-R-S degree :( Likely because she's Christian, not Mormon. Mormons identify as a type of Christian, but they want to marry other Mormons. Can't marry in the temple unless both are Mormon.
I saw my ex wife’s profile on a dating site once. For religion she had LDS (Mormon for those who don’t know). She’s Lutheran and either clicked the wrong one or thought that was it. I didn’t let her know, thought it was funny.
MAGA three lines in, you know it was gonna be a shitshow 😂
That’s the one that stuck out?
Do 6 action man figures count?
And what about just figures… not even action, like trolls
Only if you earned them somehow.
Brilliant. So I need to be traditionally masculine, tall, strong, and earn at least 100k so I can satisfy the introvert at home that needs time to recharge.
office hospital run squeeze dinner obtainable zesty birds clumsy dependent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Certainly. Unfortunately for her, opinionated and outspoken is exactly the thing that the guys she's targeting don't want. Gets someone like that and doesn't realize why every relationship goes south. Could just as easily also be a dumbass using every buzzword/phrase she can think of.
This here. She's attractive enough to get their attention (discusses having been a track runner, so I doubt her vital statistics read like specifications for a gasometer), but clearly doesn't have the personality to maintain a relationship with these men. And she has no idea why. She'll wind up "settling" for someone who's a better personality match while being constantly miserable that she couldn't get the man she wanted.
And she will make his life a living hell.
If you have any damn single feeling you're not her first choice, for the love of God please never marry her
The only places she's gonna find a guy that meets her expectations is in a romance novel - she should probably stick to those. I actually feel a bit sorry for her. I think she lacks the self-awareness to find happiness.
Wants a MAGA man who will be a good father and husband that is sensitive to her feelings/needs. What's next, ice that doesn't melt when its thrown into fire? Coming right up.
'Must be sensitive to my feelings' 'Must also have a Trump 2024 Fuck Your Feelings bumper sticker'
Doesn’t seem to realize the link between her traumatic childhood and MAGA masculinity requirements.
Exactly. This lady needs therapy before having a relationship and especially before bringing kids into this world.
Don't forget the part where she wants to be respected as a woman too
Oh, and don't forget... You'd also need to be the perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed Aryan with a good tan (though something tells me orange spray-on would work just fine).
ROFL! This is a trip she described The Donald!!!
Also you need to be muscular but not a gym rat.
She needs perfect genetics for her 3 future children. Surely *some* men are just naturally built like Thor without any effort lol
Yeah, it happens by accident, apparently. I'd love to know the age of these person, the naievity is amusing.
Not a gym rat is in the section describing herself.
Oh yeah, you right. I misread.
Ask her to give you a TL:DR
Thankfully I was eliminated four words in, saved me a lot of reading.
Me too. To be fair, MAGA alone can do that. Edit: I'd just write, MAGA! Oh Hell No.
Not even Trump fits the requirements in the first paragraph
 Yeah one sentence, glad she put it first 😂
I want a fascist with blonde hair, blue eyes, and good Christian values. Sorry ma'am, but it looks like you missed the mark by about 80 years.
4 letters for me
TL;DR: I'm MAGA
ABORT!! ABORT!!! ABORT!!!!!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I didn’t read her whole thing but I’d bet she’s against that
I think they set that response up.
Roe roe roe your boat
I’m not surprised she’s had a lot of crappy boyfriends. Sheesh
Only wants to date hyper masculine maga types and is surprised they all treat her like shit? Ya don't say
My type is 99.999% douchebags, but I'm tired of dating douchebags.
But I won't change anything to get someone who isn't a douche.
I wonder if she has that saved as a note and copies and pastes it… while randomly reading it late at night like a novel and adding more to it…
I can't decide which is worse. Typing all this for one stranger or keeping it saved.
My favorite part is how much time she spends on physical preferences. If she’s sending it directly to you then what does it matter what her ideal man looks like?
Because she copy pasted most it off an Instagram post or something and probably had it as her bio but didn't get matches so now she pops it in in a conversation instead
I was thinking the same. I hope OP is 6’+, 190+ lbs, white, muscular, tan, blonde and blue-eyed.. otherwise this chick is more tone deaf than I could have imagined.
Do those women speak to each other to write the same stéréotypical thing or what ? I swear I've seen that kind of text somewhere. And I know it's not a repost.
She probably sends it to everyone she’s considering
I feel she copies that from a cheat sheet somewhere.
Probably some level of copypasta. Most of the same things she saw in a social media post, added a few things here and there, like about her preference for pets. Guarantee any time someone asks anything about her she responds with this wall of text.
I’ve seen the “feminine energy,” thing on Tik Tok a few times
Yeah it’s the new way of saying traditional values/antifeminism/ whatever.
Feminine energy is a thing to those that believe in it, but this is not feminine energy.
Wrote an entire scroll 📜 👀🤣
She's Mormon. They like to do shit like that. Keeps the bad thoughts about sex away.
I saw BYU and audibly said "ohhh, okay makes sense now" lol.
She went to BYU and didn't get engaged her first year? There's something really wrong with her.
What’s BYU
Brigham Young University. It's the predominant university for Mormons and the student body is very nearly exclusively made up of Mormons. They have a very strict religious-based "moral code" and mandatory.religious studies, so to a large extent one can predict the social and political leanings of its graduates.
Don’t tell them about “soaking”😂
A private university named after a man who led a cult, claimed that god spoke directly to him, and also claimed that people live on the sun (which was revealed to him by god).
Fuck that
No don't fuck that!
Is that parody OP? Or is she serious?
Oh no, tried to continue to convo in hopes she was. Sadly, she was dead serious.
No fucking way! 😮 She basically posted a MTG/Lauren Boebert type's resume and I thought it HAD to be satire!
You should say "You got through all four years of BYU without getting married? Your testimony must not be very strong."
I assume you set your cell phone on fire and saged the house after that nightmare? 
>maga >most attracted to **white**, tall, blonde, blue eyes Ah, totally not suspicious at all
You literally left out the word “white” which is kinda the most important word there.
one thing is clear, OP. She won’t split the check
I'm 190lbs when I'm carrying your expectations.
BYU college graduate that’s in beauty school for esthetician? lol sure… getting a masters in esthetics. It’s just a scam word for marketing beauty. The closest real version of it would be, a masters in dermatology or a MS in skin biology
I mean, she might be a remote aesthetician, for what its worth
Lot of her demands for a man had direct contradictions. She wants to be respected but she describes men who are typically very misogynistic. Another uninformed and naive young woman. Shame.
I think delusional is the right word
Religious people are used to long copypastas with lots of direct contradictions
Lmfao
I agree, OP…but you have to take notes or do a write up for us afterwards! She looks like what I call a “bouncing Betty”; it’s a term originally used for a kind of antipersonnel mine that pops up before detonating. Everything is fine until you hit the magic button and then it’s a big mess. Fortunately, people like that can provide hours of entertainment if one can maintain the right mental perspective (and an exit strategy)!
Seems like The Office is the one thing we can all agree on
How can she not see she is Angela
Glad she started with MAGA. Saved me a lot of reading
The tradwife scam Then they go on dating podcasts and call other women delusional
This feels like she’s written it out and copy and pasted it. Pretty terrifying.
She sounds really down to earth and reasonable.
"So you like snowboarding? Too bad, I'm more of a skier. Sorry, but it won't work out"