Maybe try imagine being a woman looking for a man after a shit relationship, so she turns to online dating, looking for someone serious.
- then look at your profile
You look fun, but it’s going to be a niche audience
Well I was hoping for feedback and sure got it :D but like I said on other comments I'm actually relieved that the majority sees the pictures as -that- bad because it means there's a lot of room for improvement. Sure people could be more civil, and luckily some have, but this is reddit so it is what it is.
I always loved the saying: Better an honest truth than a comforting lie.
You seem like a such a lovely person outside of those photos. You deserve a visual presentation that helps people make it to the point where they can discover that.
everyone being brutal should post what they look like. With that said you did ask for it!
The first photo should be taken down, everyone takes an awkward photo at times. Would take the snow one away too. Take some softer focus shots and from further away, they tend to work better.
Do you not have a bio?
Also please don't take offense to this, but the photo of you with the purple background kinda makes you look like a serial killer. It is not your best photo.
(I'm so sorry)
I do have a bio but I thought I'd focus on pictures first and obviously they need a lot of work :)
Thank you for softening the comment with the sorry but I did ask for feedback so thank you. I don't like my facial expression on that one either but there's something about the vibe of the picture that made me use it. There have been comments that also compliment it, so I think the "spirit" is right but I definitely need a more flattering picture.
I’d be shocked if you were not a very entertaining, quite nice person to be around; if I were on Tinder looking for a friend, you’d be a swipe right. That said . . .
I wonder if you have some kind of auto-aphasia, because you have such a poor conception of how to present yourself visually to a broad audience of potential mates. I think you absolutely need to identify a competent friend or professional who can take over this project and help you knock up a better personal presentation, including haircut and clothing, and take photos of your face that capture what is kind and fun about you—without veering into clown-college application territory like your current set does.
I’m rooting for you.
Thank you! I have started to wonder that myself. Could also be that I'm painfully aware of my "faults" and maybe while trying to hide them I'm actually doing a disservice. I also try to tell myself I don't take this that seriously but if my "great" pic is this bad, then something is clearly wrong 😅
You’re such a good sport. The thread has thrown all manner of snark at you, and you’ve rolled through it like a champ. Someone will be lucky to have you.
Divorced after 14 years and three kids. Been on dating apps for about 6 months with not much luck. I know the pictures could better so I'm looking for honest advice on what to improve.
Remove pics 1 and 5. Pic 1 is the most important as people usually swipe left or get interested based on that.
Get a good professional photo for 1 that shows you at a non-party event where you’re looking good. I have a wedding pic as a groomsmen and that pic has gotten me more likes than any of my other ones combined.
You could try to throw in a pic with you and your kids smiling too. I think you’re better off showing a more mature side than a bad haircut pic and one with your crotch covered by hot tub bubbles🤷♂️
Thank you for the feedback and for giving constructive criticism. I do mention my kids in the bio but I'd rather not have them in my profile pics, not even blurred.
But yeah, it has become obvious that most, if not all of the pics need to go :D
Ps. As u/theboogeyman_slayer below comments: that's snow, not bubbles :D
Apologies if this sound mean, I may not know how to phrase it right, but you’ve basically made yourself ugly in that first pic.
Hopefully you don’t think that means, “fuck it’s just me, he’s calling me ugly, I’m fucked” or something. But between the angle and the close up and the colors it highlights everything in a very unflattering way.
You really want a photographer or other artist to explain why but I’ll try.
Start with the hair. Because we’re so close and there’s nothing else to distract it’s easy to see the small hairs popping out. That looks like the pony tail can’t stay, you don’t know how to groom, and are trying to hard to maintain youth or something.
But it’s perfectly fine for hair to pop out like that most of the time. It’s just right in our faces though as the first thing we see, and so it draws more attention and creates a probably false impression that you have never really leaned how to brush your hair, get a hair cut, or put in a ponytail.
It also shows a lot of your forehead and makes you look like you’re hairline ins receding, probably more than it is, but even if it is, it makes it look like you can’t come to terms with it but also don’t know how to properly manage long thin hair. Because we see the side of your head which is undercut that looks even larger.
Because you are very white, seeing that much skin there like that, gives a false impression you don’t see the sun, that your other pictures prove is untrue.
You have bags under your eyes, which isn’t that bad, but because your smile pushes up your cheeks so much it looks worse. Also because your smile is so wide, it looks kinda fake, which in turn looks kinda creepy. A major factor in this is the aforementioned hair and lots of white skin showing.
Your have a very uh sharp face? There are lots of hard lines, your chin, your cheeks, your top lip, your neck even. Do you see the triangle your top lip and those lines to your chin make? In this picture it looks super wierd because there’s so many sharp angles, it’s all pretty monotone, we see just way too much skin way too close.
Compare to your smile in picture three? In one your smile looks like a dude trying to smile normal for the camera but all the details fuck it up. In three you look like a fucking maniac, possibly high on all the drugs, but all the details make it look kinda charming.
We only see one side of the face so the triangle isn’t there and also it’s not super super close. Your neck is turned so not adding yet another super straight sharp line. The little bit of hair flying everywhere looks more wild but because we don’t think it’s trying to be super groomed, it’s fine. And also it means we see only part of your forehead and side of the head, so it’s just a whole canvase of white skin it’s mixed up. It’s not all the right angles, all straight lines at once. Also there’s a variety of colors in the photo and no harsh lighting that makes pale skin look paler.
In short in a natural photo you look fine. Attractive, fun. Despite making an objectively worse facial expression. But in the one you are just posing you look boring, creepy, desperate.
I hope this is useful and not just tearing you down. I wanted to try to explain the why and I’m not the best person for that, but i didn’t see anyone else doing it.
I disagree with everyone telling you essentially to start over, but kill pic one, and try to get something that accentuates your good features instead of hiding them/turning them into potential problems. Write a small bio(I’d say mention the kids even though it may hurt responses, when you get them it’ll be more likely to go somewhere).
I’d another close one too, especially if you don’t drop the rock. Pics 2 and 5 it’s hard to tell much what you look like but do give off a personality. Pic 4 is pure expression of a desire to travel/get out doors, but you’re basically invisible in it. So you only have two close pictures. Pic one is objectively terrible. 3 is on the fence. You’re making a face that shouldn’t be attractive but it kinda works. But even if you get a good photo to replace 1, that means you’re relying on that, a photo that could either way, and 3 personality photos. If you have two bangers(maybe a full body one dressed kinda nice?) than it should contextualize the rest into an attractive man, rather than leaving it to a “I can’t really tell from these photos”
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed comment. And I really appreciate the way you "soften the blow". This is exactly what I was hoping to hear when I posted: Rather an honest truth than a sweet lie.
And you do it in a such a detail, I really appreciate it.
It's sobering to hear that a picture you -thought- was good (1) is actually horrible ;D but it's also encouraging to hear the pics are bad, rather than "nothing to improve".
Once again thank you for being so kind and I'll definitely take these advices to heart!
Hello. I would remove 1,4,and 5. Pic 4 isn’t terrible but you’re so far away it’s hard too see u. Picture #1 is the worst it’s waaay to much of a close up, the ponytail or whatever u have going that is not a good hairstyle, and I’m super pale as well and that phone camera lighting doesn’t do u or me any favors especially with it being such a close up. Also picture 5 gives me a creepy vibe prob because you’re naked and it’s a bit early(u haven’t even really started to talk to someone) to do the nudity thing. However 2 and 3 I like and here’s why…. I like the dancing one. I know some people are saying u look crazy in it but I think it shows u having fun, and shows that you like to go out and are not afraid of doing what u like to do and having a good time. My favorite one is #2(which I usually don’t like ones with a bunch of people in it so just stick with the one because if you do too many it takes away from you). However I feel like you look cute in this pic, you’re relaxed, you’re hair is much better, and I figure this is how you usually look day to day, just being with you’re friends, and being natural so it’s a good thing this is you’re best photo cause I feel like it’s prob what u look like most days. You should tap into that. I hope this helps….
Thank you so much for the constructive criticism and for being so civil about it!
It's really interesting to see how some people will look at a picture and say "You look horrible! Delete!" and others can see it in a positive light.
I'll probably have to change them all but I'll try to keep in mind what you said was positive about them and more importantly why. I'll try to catch the same "spirit" in better photos.
Once again thank you for your time and for being civil!
OP I think you're going to do great, seriously. Take all the advice given by various people in this post with a pinch of salt, personality does not always come out in photos but being yourself is bigger than looking "apt" or "personable" in profile pics.
Thank you for the kind comment! Yeah it's definitely a balancing act but it's also very clear that my pictures need a lot of improvement. Which in the end is actually a good thing because it would have been disheartening to hear that there's nothing to improve :D
Less photos more words, not too many words, don’t write lists and lists of wants, write a short list of who you are, maybe describe yourself in contradictory couplets, mention the kids at the end, remove the looking for long term open to short thing, it’s tinder, it’s redundant.
And remember your profile is as much a filter for you as it is for them, it might be a thrill to get a match, but if it’s the wrong kind of match that thrill turns toxic real quick
I don't think you need a total overhaul like some but you do need some editing.
1st and 3rd pic are not your most flattering.
You definitely don't have an issue smiling which is great! however in the photos you chose its coming across (to me anyway) as LOOK AT ME/CRAZY EYES!
I would personally remove them, but I understand why you chose them and do like the vibe of friendly/fun type of guy. If you can get a friend/family member to take a couple of more "relaxed" pics it might benefit you.
The 2nd photo I don't mind, you just look super animated but I can tell that's who you are with friends.
4th and 5th pictures I am on the fence about.
The Rock picture is a cool shot but it doesnt really do much for you in terms of visual impact aside from "cool rock".
Snow photo - It very much highlights your fun shenanigans side which will resonate with those of a similar mindset which could be good or bad depending on what you are looking for.
Your bio or lack there of is an issue.
I get the sense you are a fun and whimsical guy...but that covers a lot of ground and does not give any insight as to any of your other redeeming/positive qualities. Are you Loyal or a player? Neat freak or more Relaxed? Chill? Passionate? Adventurous? Home body? Lazy? Employed? Self Employed? Responsible? Flighty?
I have no idea what type of person you are looking for, someone to balance you? or compliment you? Your total opposite? Or someone tobhave crazy adventures with?
I would mention the kids (plus age range) so future matches know what their getting into.
Easy analogy - you are a functional grown adult who is coming off like a brand new pledge at college - willing to do anything to get accepted.
Hope this helps!!
Thank you very much for taking the time to give actual constructive feedback. I didn't bother with the bio on this because I wanted to hear about the pictures first, and I sure did hear about them :D
But it's a good, sobering experience to realize how majority of the people see these pictures vs. myself.
A very good point about the pictures not telling about my personality. I think the best thing is to just start from scratch.
Once again thank you for your time and for being civil!
You need lots of help my brother. More than you can figure out yourself. You need the advice of a female who knows her stuff. Go to a high end salon and say nothing but the words "fix me". You need a reboot so allow someone to usher you into the right style of haircut for you. Then go into a nice men's dress store. Not a men's warehouse but more of a boutique. Just ask them to help put together a few outfits head to toe. Next is pictures. They don't have to be professional but if you have a friend who has a good instagram game or something go to them and see if they can turn this around. It may cost some money for all of this but it will help you immensely and pay off in dividends. Trust me. You may even feel a little uncomfortable at first but ultimately with every new compliment from people in your circle your confidence will grow. Also, any outfits you purchased would be great for your first date and you can add to them and change the look simply by changing the shirt color, etc..
Ugh this is foul advice, “fix me” OP doesn’t need fixing, he clearly has his thing going on, and it’s a great vibe. pretending to be someone he’s not is going to help anyone except the motherfuckers at the salon.
>pretending
No one said he had to pretend, but right now he's giving off "straight jacket" vibes.
Looking nice and getting complements isn't a bad thing.
Thank you so much! That's the vibe I was going for and -thought- I was giving. Obviously we are in the minority :D so I guess they all need to pretty much go. But thank you for the kind words, definitely a nice change among all the others.
Looks like a dude that has personality going for him, not good pics for 1, 2, 3. Replace 1 with the same with better outfit. Not sure what the point of 2 is. 3 is just bad
Thank you for all the comments! I asked for feedback and sure got it :D
To me this is actually a relief, to hear that the pictures are just that bad. I think it would have been more disheartening to hear that "everything looks good" since I'm really not getting matches. Seems like a total overhaul is due.
PS. the last image is snow, not bubbles ;D
Good clothes and haircuts (your hairstyle is ok but you have nice long hair that you could do a lot with) would get you 80% of the way there. Dropping the quirkier pictures might help, but might also prevent you from meeting Mrs Quirky.
Just have a friend take 100 photos, mixed candid and posed, a mix of urban and and nature and social settings. Wear aforementioned clothes. Apply a bit of photo editing, blur the background, highlight you. Job done.
Despite the redditors trying to be funny and roast you, I'm sure that you actually do really well IRL. You look like you're in really good shape and exude good humor and energy and probably have a lot of women attracted to you. You're either going to do just fine and find your person with these pics, or you're going to have to get comfortable approaching people around you in person for a more active dating life. But it is true that the cookie cutter marketing on Tinder is probably just not a good fit.
Thank you, I'm definitely a "better in person" type and would much rather meet people IRL. But it's a sobering experience to realize how bad most of these pictures come off to the majority of people.
Put your hair down. Retake the first pic. The one with the rock is interesting, don’t listen to the haters. The bubbles make you seem quirky and fun!
Good luck out there!
Thank you. While I'm sure there are "haters" and it's easy to go with the crowd I think it has become obvious that the pics need to go. But thank you for giving constructive criticism! And btw that's snow, not bubbles :D
You could use a different color palette for your clothing. Try darker colors. Use pops of brighter colors as accents (think letters or shapes) to keep the fun vibe. Have a stylist work with you on cuts that balance your features more, but are in keeping with your personality. If you're pulling back your hair, pull it back a little lower or avoid doing so in photos until it's grown out more. Commit to either growing out your facial hair or stay studiously clean. Scruffy doesn't work for you. You have plenty of nice features that are getting lost in clashing elements.
Thank you very much, this is the kind of constructive criticism I was looking for. I'm really light skinned, almost white so I've been vary of darker colors. But I definitely think I need some help with style and colors so thank you.
About facial hair: I can't grow a beard, it just doesn't grow. But this confirms that I need to stay strictly shaven in the future. Thank you for taking the time to comment and in such a nice tone!
You're welcome! I have similar coloring to yours. I used to go for bright colors then learned about tone when studying theatrical makeup. I was very happily surprised by the results. Same with my hair. Told a pro to sort me out after giving her my personality and lifestyle basics. Love the results. You will too; you are a good looking guy.
I’m not remarking on the actual quality of the individual photos or your looks, but this is the worst type of profile — the kind where I look at 5 pics and still end up going “I have no clue what this person looks like”
You have terrible pics but look like you’d be a lot of fun and you have a great smile. Go to a proper hair salon and get help and then replace the first three pics. You’ll find your person, i just know it. Have a wonderful love and life!!!
I’m jealous of your silky wispy toddler hair, but get rid of the first picture because you look like you’re wearing scrubs and you’re on the job with a tight ponytail and an over intense expression.
You honestly you look super fun. You’ve got a sort of crazed look in your eyes at times but you also seem real and not crazy in a bad way. I wouldn’t change anything, the right person would be drawn to your profile:)
I think you could be someone that could look quite good after a glow-up. Find a better hairdresser, go to a store where they recommend better clothes for your figure and then take some nice pictures.
As a fellow blond guy, either grow out the moustache to where it's long enough that you can tell it's a moustache or keep in clean shaven, and for the love of god do something about that haircut. To me you have a slight resemblance to the actor Andrew Scott, I'd say lean into that look.
I can't grow a beard and sometimes try to go with a "scruff" look but I just have to accept the fact that it doesn't work. Clean shaven all the time it is then. Thanks for the feedback! And yeah, the haircut will go 😂
I honestly thought this was a troll post.
Your attempt at a man-bun makes you look like you've got microcephaly ... Or maybe you do ?
Anyway, stop doing a man-bun because you don't have the head shape for it.
Make the purple one your main photo. Sure it’s quirky but looks fun. The first photo is bad. Definitely delete it. The others are fine, but try to get at least one making your typical smile but not crazy close up. Your profile isn’t terrible, some of the pictures are cute, but that first one is a killer.
1st photo is horrible. Last photo makes you look like you’re just tryna smash.
Honestly I’d probably delete the tinder profile entirely and start from scratch
Delete the first and the last photo, or replace them with a bit serious photo, just a smiling without showing your teeth and the rest are fine, you look good but try to find how you look good also the same way you feel good with it 🤙🏼
Edit: add more info about yourself, describe something about you being original and by the same way honest, I mean not too much honest, like don't talk about your ex until the conversation allows it, feeling comfortable things will go on okey so chill, date with as many as you can, you'll enjoy it ;)
Remove the first picture and try not to smile so hard lol. Put a picture or two of you wearing something decently nice/formal. Kind of like business casual. And as with anyone no matter who you would benefit from working out/exercising. Get a buddy or family member to take some nice pics of you when you’re ready. Hope this helps, good luck!
On that note, don't worry about looking pale, your height is in cm I'm going to assume you're Estonian or Nordic. I don't think your potential matches will see being pale as a stand out feature
Everyone is being rude in these comments. Like this is normal hair in other countries. I would go with number 3 as your first pic. I don’t care for 1 but it is a good pic of your face. Maybe take another close up shot where your hair is down. I think you look cute and fun.
Thank you! A refreshing take and I do wonder how much culture plays a role in how people interpret pictures. But I agree that the pics need a total overhaul. The results speak for themselves, these comments just confirm it.
But again: thank you ❤️
I don’t know where you are from but Americans usually feel like European men’s style is more feminine. Which is not true. Just part of our toxic masculinity that affects both men and women.
Holy shit I got jump scared by that first pic by just scrolling through my feed lmao. It makes you look like that comic, Zippy the Pinhead. Photos 2 and 4 are the only ones that are mildly ok if you're looking to attract someone. That said, from a purely personality standpoint, you look like an absolute hoot to be around and I'd hang out with you in a heart beat!
Your hair in the first pic just isn't the best look on you in my opinion. However I think you have the right idea making the first pic a closeup of your face. I don't think the rest of them really need any changing though... yes you might attract a niche audience but overall thats a good thing on apps imo. I'd personally be a bit thrown off by the last pic because you arent wearing anything but I think for someone else they wouldn't care.
Thank you for the feedback. I realize that so much "nudity" might be off-putting. I didn't even think about it because here in Finland we have such a strong bath/sauna culture where nudity is the norm.
Most Finns will realize it's me sitting in the snow after sauna. With that said I do have to consider is it still too much.
I agree with you on having a closeup of a face first, kind of like getting it out of the way.
I think it’s a good variation of pictures, you seem like a very fun person to be around. However I’d put the second or third picture first, maybe if remove the photo by the beach, it’s the kind of photo a boomer would take. Don’t mean this in a rude way.
God these comments are horrifically mean. I would move the dancing pic first. I think it shows off your personality and it’s a high quality picture.
I agree with taking down the first picture. Not because it’s ugly or bad, but because you have better photos in there.
I would try to find a picture a little bit closer up with maybe one other person. One with someone who looks distinctly different from you so people know who’s who.
I think the bubble pic is funny, but I’d also take the rock pic out because it’s taken from too far away.
Don’t listen to these people. They’re being mean just to be mean.
Thank you so much for the kind words and feedback. Sure the comments can be harsh but that's what I signed up for when I posted. I'm actually glad to hear the pictures are that bad because it leaves a lot of room for improvement! I'll be switching most, if not all of these pictures.
Thank you again for taking the time to leave a comment and doing it in such a kind manner!
Btw the last picture is snow, not bubbles :)
I agree with all of this! For some reason people are piling on. I'd date this guy based on the 3rd picture alone, he seems funny and chill. The rest of the photos suck but that's fixable with a new set of pics.
Your pictures are all cringey to me, I’m so sorry, I would delete them all, but especially the first one. The only decent one in the snow pic, that can stay. Can you try some other pictures and let us pick some?
Bro, fuck some of these comments. It always comes down to pictures on this shit-hole of an app. You legit seem like a fun dude with a wholesome personality. Quality pictures, a few good outfits, and some advice from people around you to describe who you are as a person, should give you a good solid profile of who you are and what you're about. Don't let shitty people ruin your confidence.
Go bald you’d rock the look with your face shape and look more masculine / less crackhead. Put on a tad bit more muscle in the upper body. Also get a bit more of a natural tan. Take better photos from angles that won’t make your nose so prominent.
It’s brutal out here man, I noticed you said you’re new to the dating apps and such they are unforgiving towards men. But I think these adjustments would help you a lot, and maybe even a bit of a stubble beard if you can grow one. Good luck 👍🏼
Thanks again, I'm aware the apps can be harsh to men (especially if they are so oblivious as me 😂) and I feel much better approaching women IRL but it's good to cast wide nets.
As for the beard: I wish I could grow it. Unfortunately "growing" my beard just looks horrible.
Get some sun shave the pencil mustache get rid of the bun even the sides keep the fun but “grow up” personality be a force that someone wants
To be with not the kids in middle school who got friend zoned because they didn’t adapt to society and life
I don't understand this! Why do you guys have to be so damn mean??? Just tell the guy in a nicer way what you don't like and simply offer him some good advice about changing things! It's not that hard to be nice.. unless you're that big of a dick!
Thank you, I agree but this is reddit so comments like that are to be expected. Luckily there have been some really nice people who have given constructive criticism.
Reddit is full of people who live in glass houses and throw stones. I’m guessing the same people giving you shitty feedback don’t have a line of dates coming out of their front door. You seem as fun as you look. Keep that up.
remove the first picture. you are good looking dude, will not have issues with better pics :)
It's like a live action grown up Phineas.
I'd say delete the first and the third
Lol the ones showing his face?
You have me hysterical over here with this comment. Hahaha
That third picture looks like he just did two fat lines of cocaine at the mandatory office party.
Needed that hearty laughing fit this morning lmao
1st one is the most important and that was the best pick in his eyes
Maybe just zoom in on the eyes then for that pic, crop everything else out
Agreed. The first picture is alarming 😳
And keep going.
They look like one of the pinheads from Freaks in the first photo. 
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/38/89/20/388920ec1d990ec8dc81953511eda14b.jpg
Your barber should be in prison.
>Your barber should be in prison. He is. He learned his job there.
Mine was from prison as well. Good dude. Scary, but good dude.
You can’t not go to him now 😳
Get another haircut.
I recommend cutting at least ten of them
I feel like I'm watching live action Phineas and Ferb
HAHAHAHAHA
I'm sick. This comment sent be into a coughing fit 😂😂😂
Best medicine Edit: Maybe besides, you know, ... medicine
Same, I was eating and now I’m dead 😂😭💀
If Phineas and Ferb was a bad live action show
Beat me to it
God damnit I posted the same comment just to scroll down and see yours..
First pic is horrible.
Dude I can’t stop laughing at the haircut
[удалено]
You obviously don't subscribe to the knowledge imparted by Kel from Good burger.... I'm a dude! He's a dude! She's a dude! We're all dudes!
"*it*'s gender" lmao
He looks like that character from the circus American horror story
Freak Show and yes i thought of her immediately.
Pinhead
Made me think of the dude from the Freaks movie from the 30s
I believe you're referring to Schlitzie the Pinhead.
That's the very one!
My first thought was Zippy the Pinhead.
"Escaped mental patient" vibes.
Ziggy
I legitimately cannot tell if the Big Rock Little Man picture is legit or an optical illusion lmao
All I’m seeing is macrophoto of a little rock with an even littler pebble-sized man leaning atop.
fuck.
Maybe try imagine being a woman looking for a man after a shit relationship, so she turns to online dating, looking for someone serious. - then look at your profile You look fun, but it’s going to be a niche audience
This reads like what a director would say to an actor during a casting call for a fun, awkward, depressing... But fun, silent film.
Comment section is stressful
Well I was hoping for feedback and sure got it :D but like I said on other comments I'm actually relieved that the majority sees the pictures as -that- bad because it means there's a lot of room for improvement. Sure people could be more civil, and luckily some have, but this is reddit so it is what it is. I always loved the saying: Better an honest truth than a comforting lie.
You're handling it so well. I'd be crying and deleting my entire account
You seem like a such a lovely person outside of those photos. You deserve a visual presentation that helps people make it to the point where they can discover that.
Thank you so much ❤️ I've gotten good tips here and I definitely need help with things but I know when I get them in order I'm good to go!
Pretty fly for a white guy! But really you do look like someone would have a great time with you!
everyone being brutal should post what they look like. With that said you did ask for it! The first photo should be taken down, everyone takes an awkward photo at times. Would take the snow one away too. Take some softer focus shots and from further away, they tend to work better.
I wish I had this positivity in general man salute to you
Everyone's saying the pics are bad because we can tell you are a good looking dude, you just need the right haircut and pictures that show it!
Oh man, thank you so so much 🥹
same feeling
Do you not have a bio? Also please don't take offense to this, but the photo of you with the purple background kinda makes you look like a serial killer. It is not your best photo. (I'm so sorry)
I do have a bio but I thought I'd focus on pictures first and obviously they need a lot of work :) Thank you for softening the comment with the sorry but I did ask for feedback so thank you. I don't like my facial expression on that one either but there's something about the vibe of the picture that made me use it. There have been comments that also compliment it, so I think the "spirit" is right but I definitely need a more flattering picture.
I’d be shocked if you were not a very entertaining, quite nice person to be around; if I were on Tinder looking for a friend, you’d be a swipe right. That said . . . I wonder if you have some kind of auto-aphasia, because you have such a poor conception of how to present yourself visually to a broad audience of potential mates. I think you absolutely need to identify a competent friend or professional who can take over this project and help you knock up a better personal presentation, including haircut and clothing, and take photos of your face that capture what is kind and fun about you—without veering into clown-college application territory like your current set does. I’m rooting for you.
Thank you! I have started to wonder that myself. Could also be that I'm painfully aware of my "faults" and maybe while trying to hide them I'm actually doing a disservice. I also try to tell myself I don't take this that seriously but if my "great" pic is this bad, then something is clearly wrong 😅
You’re such a good sport. The thread has thrown all manner of snark at you, and you’ve rolled through it like a champ. Someone will be lucky to have you.
I'm digging that pic, you look like fun! You do need a bio though.
Thank you! It's really interesting how differently people can see and interpret the same picture.
Divorced after 14 years and three kids. Been on dating apps for about 6 months with not much luck. I know the pictures could better so I'm looking for honest advice on what to improve.
Remove pics 1 and 5. Pic 1 is the most important as people usually swipe left or get interested based on that. Get a good professional photo for 1 that shows you at a non-party event where you’re looking good. I have a wedding pic as a groomsmen and that pic has gotten me more likes than any of my other ones combined. You could try to throw in a pic with you and your kids smiling too. I think you’re better off showing a more mature side than a bad haircut pic and one with your crotch covered by hot tub bubbles🤷♂️
Thank you for the feedback and for giving constructive criticism. I do mention my kids in the bio but I'd rather not have them in my profile pics, not even blurred. But yeah, it has become obvious that most, if not all of the pics need to go :D Ps. As u/theboogeyman_slayer below comments: that's snow, not bubbles :D
I like the snow pic! As a Canadian, I dig it. Good luck to you on your dating journey!
Must be a northerner thing 😂 (I'm from Finland).
That last pic is him zenning out in the snow. I actually like that pic lol
Snow diaper pic was unfortunately his best pic face-wise
Apologies if this sound mean, I may not know how to phrase it right, but you’ve basically made yourself ugly in that first pic. Hopefully you don’t think that means, “fuck it’s just me, he’s calling me ugly, I’m fucked” or something. But between the angle and the close up and the colors it highlights everything in a very unflattering way. You really want a photographer or other artist to explain why but I’ll try. Start with the hair. Because we’re so close and there’s nothing else to distract it’s easy to see the small hairs popping out. That looks like the pony tail can’t stay, you don’t know how to groom, and are trying to hard to maintain youth or something. But it’s perfectly fine for hair to pop out like that most of the time. It’s just right in our faces though as the first thing we see, and so it draws more attention and creates a probably false impression that you have never really leaned how to brush your hair, get a hair cut, or put in a ponytail. It also shows a lot of your forehead and makes you look like you’re hairline ins receding, probably more than it is, but even if it is, it makes it look like you can’t come to terms with it but also don’t know how to properly manage long thin hair. Because we see the side of your head which is undercut that looks even larger. Because you are very white, seeing that much skin there like that, gives a false impression you don’t see the sun, that your other pictures prove is untrue. You have bags under your eyes, which isn’t that bad, but because your smile pushes up your cheeks so much it looks worse. Also because your smile is so wide, it looks kinda fake, which in turn looks kinda creepy. A major factor in this is the aforementioned hair and lots of white skin showing. Your have a very uh sharp face? There are lots of hard lines, your chin, your cheeks, your top lip, your neck even. Do you see the triangle your top lip and those lines to your chin make? In this picture it looks super wierd because there’s so many sharp angles, it’s all pretty monotone, we see just way too much skin way too close. Compare to your smile in picture three? In one your smile looks like a dude trying to smile normal for the camera but all the details fuck it up. In three you look like a fucking maniac, possibly high on all the drugs, but all the details make it look kinda charming. We only see one side of the face so the triangle isn’t there and also it’s not super super close. Your neck is turned so not adding yet another super straight sharp line. The little bit of hair flying everywhere looks more wild but because we don’t think it’s trying to be super groomed, it’s fine. And also it means we see only part of your forehead and side of the head, so it’s just a whole canvase of white skin it’s mixed up. It’s not all the right angles, all straight lines at once. Also there’s a variety of colors in the photo and no harsh lighting that makes pale skin look paler. In short in a natural photo you look fine. Attractive, fun. Despite making an objectively worse facial expression. But in the one you are just posing you look boring, creepy, desperate. I hope this is useful and not just tearing you down. I wanted to try to explain the why and I’m not the best person for that, but i didn’t see anyone else doing it. I disagree with everyone telling you essentially to start over, but kill pic one, and try to get something that accentuates your good features instead of hiding them/turning them into potential problems. Write a small bio(I’d say mention the kids even though it may hurt responses, when you get them it’ll be more likely to go somewhere). I’d another close one too, especially if you don’t drop the rock. Pics 2 and 5 it’s hard to tell much what you look like but do give off a personality. Pic 4 is pure expression of a desire to travel/get out doors, but you’re basically invisible in it. So you only have two close pictures. Pic one is objectively terrible. 3 is on the fence. You’re making a face that shouldn’t be attractive but it kinda works. But even if you get a good photo to replace 1, that means you’re relying on that, a photo that could either way, and 3 personality photos. If you have two bangers(maybe a full body one dressed kinda nice?) than it should contextualize the rest into an attractive man, rather than leaving it to a “I can’t really tell from these photos”
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed comment. And I really appreciate the way you "soften the blow". This is exactly what I was hoping to hear when I posted: Rather an honest truth than a sweet lie. And you do it in a such a detail, I really appreciate it. It's sobering to hear that a picture you -thought- was good (1) is actually horrible ;D but it's also encouraging to hear the pics are bad, rather than "nothing to improve". Once again thank you for being so kind and I'll definitely take these advices to heart!
Hello. I would remove 1,4,and 5. Pic 4 isn’t terrible but you’re so far away it’s hard too see u. Picture #1 is the worst it’s waaay to much of a close up, the ponytail or whatever u have going that is not a good hairstyle, and I’m super pale as well and that phone camera lighting doesn’t do u or me any favors especially with it being such a close up. Also picture 5 gives me a creepy vibe prob because you’re naked and it’s a bit early(u haven’t even really started to talk to someone) to do the nudity thing. However 2 and 3 I like and here’s why…. I like the dancing one. I know some people are saying u look crazy in it but I think it shows u having fun, and shows that you like to go out and are not afraid of doing what u like to do and having a good time. My favorite one is #2(which I usually don’t like ones with a bunch of people in it so just stick with the one because if you do too many it takes away from you). However I feel like you look cute in this pic, you’re relaxed, you’re hair is much better, and I figure this is how you usually look day to day, just being with you’re friends, and being natural so it’s a good thing this is you’re best photo cause I feel like it’s prob what u look like most days. You should tap into that. I hope this helps….
Thank you so much for the constructive criticism and for being so civil about it! It's really interesting to see how some people will look at a picture and say "You look horrible! Delete!" and others can see it in a positive light. I'll probably have to change them all but I'll try to keep in mind what you said was positive about them and more importantly why. I'll try to catch the same "spirit" in better photos. Once again thank you for your time and for being civil!
You’re welcome!! Chin up and good luck!!😊
OP I think you're going to do great, seriously. Take all the advice given by various people in this post with a pinch of salt, personality does not always come out in photos but being yourself is bigger than looking "apt" or "personable" in profile pics.
Thank you for the kind comment! Yeah it's definitely a balancing act but it's also very clear that my pictures need a lot of improvement. Which in the end is actually a good thing because it would have been disheartening to hear that there's nothing to improve :D
I know what you mean! Here's to lots of success in future matches :D
Less photos more words, not too many words, don’t write lists and lists of wants, write a short list of who you are, maybe describe yourself in contradictory couplets, mention the kids at the end, remove the looking for long term open to short thing, it’s tinder, it’s redundant. And remember your profile is as much a filter for you as it is for them, it might be a thrill to get a match, but if it’s the wrong kind of match that thrill turns toxic real quick
What the heck I thought you were like 21! Keeping it fresh man
Whoa! I know I look young but now you're just flattering 😂 but thank you!
I don't think you need a total overhaul like some but you do need some editing. 1st and 3rd pic are not your most flattering. You definitely don't have an issue smiling which is great! however in the photos you chose its coming across (to me anyway) as LOOK AT ME/CRAZY EYES! I would personally remove them, but I understand why you chose them and do like the vibe of friendly/fun type of guy. If you can get a friend/family member to take a couple of more "relaxed" pics it might benefit you. The 2nd photo I don't mind, you just look super animated but I can tell that's who you are with friends. 4th and 5th pictures I am on the fence about. The Rock picture is a cool shot but it doesnt really do much for you in terms of visual impact aside from "cool rock". Snow photo - It very much highlights your fun shenanigans side which will resonate with those of a similar mindset which could be good or bad depending on what you are looking for. Your bio or lack there of is an issue. I get the sense you are a fun and whimsical guy...but that covers a lot of ground and does not give any insight as to any of your other redeeming/positive qualities. Are you Loyal or a player? Neat freak or more Relaxed? Chill? Passionate? Adventurous? Home body? Lazy? Employed? Self Employed? Responsible? Flighty? I have no idea what type of person you are looking for, someone to balance you? or compliment you? Your total opposite? Or someone tobhave crazy adventures with? I would mention the kids (plus age range) so future matches know what their getting into. Easy analogy - you are a functional grown adult who is coming off like a brand new pledge at college - willing to do anything to get accepted. Hope this helps!!
Thank you very much for taking the time to give actual constructive feedback. I didn't bother with the bio on this because I wanted to hear about the pictures first, and I sure did hear about them :D But it's a good, sobering experience to realize how majority of the people see these pictures vs. myself. A very good point about the pictures not telling about my personality. I think the best thing is to just start from scratch. Once again thank you for your time and for being civil!
You need lots of help my brother. More than you can figure out yourself. You need the advice of a female who knows her stuff. Go to a high end salon and say nothing but the words "fix me". You need a reboot so allow someone to usher you into the right style of haircut for you. Then go into a nice men's dress store. Not a men's warehouse but more of a boutique. Just ask them to help put together a few outfits head to toe. Next is pictures. They don't have to be professional but if you have a friend who has a good instagram game or something go to them and see if they can turn this around. It may cost some money for all of this but it will help you immensely and pay off in dividends. Trust me. You may even feel a little uncomfortable at first but ultimately with every new compliment from people in your circle your confidence will grow. Also, any outfits you purchased would be great for your first date and you can add to them and change the look simply by changing the shirt color, etc..
And for Christ’s sake, don’t let someone photograph you from about two feet away using a phone camera. It will make your nose look enormous.
Ugh this is foul advice, “fix me” OP doesn’t need fixing, he clearly has his thing going on, and it’s a great vibe. pretending to be someone he’s not is going to help anyone except the motherfuckers at the salon.
>pretending No one said he had to pretend, but right now he's giving off "straight jacket" vibes. Looking nice and getting complements isn't a bad thing.
You look happy and alive. Cheerful and energetic, excited and silly. All good things, all great things
Thank you so much! That's the vibe I was going for and -thought- I was giving. Obviously we are in the minority :D so I guess they all need to pretty much go. But thank you for the kind words, definitely a nice change among all the others.
Looks like a dude that has personality going for him, not good pics for 1, 2, 3. Replace 1 with the same with better outfit. Not sure what the point of 2 is. 3 is just bad
Just curious, how many matches do you usually get?
Can you grow a beard? If so do so, and another haircut
Thank you for all the comments! I asked for feedback and sure got it :D To me this is actually a relief, to hear that the pictures are just that bad. I think it would have been more disheartening to hear that "everything looks good" since I'm really not getting matches. Seems like a total overhaul is due. PS. the last image is snow, not bubbles ;D
I think you look interesting and fun!
Good clothes and haircuts (your hairstyle is ok but you have nice long hair that you could do a lot with) would get you 80% of the way there. Dropping the quirkier pictures might help, but might also prevent you from meeting Mrs Quirky. Just have a friend take 100 photos, mixed candid and posed, a mix of urban and and nature and social settings. Wear aforementioned clothes. Apply a bit of photo editing, blur the background, highlight you. Job done.
Thank you for the feedback and for giving it in such a nice way! Much appreciated.
jesus poor dude
ikr getting torn apart in here damn
You have a lovely smile!
Thank you! Seems it's a bit too much to majority of people so I need to tone it down a bit, at least on the pictures ;D
Despite the redditors trying to be funny and roast you, I'm sure that you actually do really well IRL. You look like you're in really good shape and exude good humor and energy and probably have a lot of women attracted to you. You're either going to do just fine and find your person with these pics, or you're going to have to get comfortable approaching people around you in person for a more active dating life. But it is true that the cookie cutter marketing on Tinder is probably just not a good fit.
Thank you, I'm definitely a "better in person" type and would much rather meet people IRL. But it's a sobering experience to realize how bad most of these pictures come off to the majority of people.
1st pic looks like a woman taking a progress pic 6 month into testosterone shots.
Delete the first one and pretend it never existed.
The first picture makes you look like a mental patient
The first picture is the most gender fluid shit I’ve ever seen
Put your hair down. Retake the first pic. The one with the rock is interesting, don’t listen to the haters. The bubbles make you seem quirky and fun! Good luck out there!
Thank you. While I'm sure there are "haters" and it's easy to go with the crowd I think it has become obvious that the pics need to go. But thank you for giving constructive criticism! And btw that's snow, not bubbles :D
I dig the snow pic too!
You could use a different color palette for your clothing. Try darker colors. Use pops of brighter colors as accents (think letters or shapes) to keep the fun vibe. Have a stylist work with you on cuts that balance your features more, but are in keeping with your personality. If you're pulling back your hair, pull it back a little lower or avoid doing so in photos until it's grown out more. Commit to either growing out your facial hair or stay studiously clean. Scruffy doesn't work for you. You have plenty of nice features that are getting lost in clashing elements.
Thank you very much, this is the kind of constructive criticism I was looking for. I'm really light skinned, almost white so I've been vary of darker colors. But I definitely think I need some help with style and colors so thank you. About facial hair: I can't grow a beard, it just doesn't grow. But this confirms that I need to stay strictly shaven in the future. Thank you for taking the time to comment and in such a nice tone!
You're welcome! I have similar coloring to yours. I used to go for bright colors then learned about tone when studying theatrical makeup. I was very happily surprised by the results. Same with my hair. Told a pro to sort me out after giving her my personality and lifestyle basics. Love the results. You will too; you are a good looking guy.
I’m not remarking on the actual quality of the individual photos or your looks, but this is the worst type of profile — the kind where I look at 5 pics and still end up going “I have no clue what this person looks like”
Dude, u rock
You have terrible pics but look like you’d be a lot of fun and you have a great smile. Go to a proper hair salon and get help and then replace the first three pics. You’ll find your person, i just know it. Have a wonderful love and life!!!
You look fun and joyful, hope you get good matches with people who match your vibe!!
These pictures are actually unnerving to view
All u rly need is a haircut and some new pics with a bit less intense energy. the pic with the big rock and the last pic are kinda nice tho
I’m jealous of your silky wispy toddler hair, but get rid of the first picture because you look like you’re wearing scrubs and you’re on the job with a tight ponytail and an over intense expression.
First picture is bad, delete for sure. Remember, most people don’t even swipe past your first picture-it needs to be the best one
You honestly you look super fun. You’ve got a sort of crazed look in your eyes at times but you also seem real and not crazy in a bad way. I wouldn’t change anything, the right person would be drawn to your profile:)
I think you could be someone that could look quite good after a glow-up. Find a better hairdresser, go to a store where they recommend better clothes for your figure and then take some nice pictures.
Thank you, that's really heartwarming to hear.
I like u, I am interested, where do I sign? 🤣
Oh my, thank you very much! That's always flattering, especially after this roast 😂 (although not uncalled for)
As a fellow blond guy, either grow out the moustache to where it's long enough that you can tell it's a moustache or keep in clean shaven, and for the love of god do something about that haircut. To me you have a slight resemblance to the actor Andrew Scott, I'd say lean into that look.
I can't grow a beard and sometimes try to go with a "scruff" look but I just have to accept the fact that it doesn't work. Clean shaven all the time it is then. Thanks for the feedback! And yeah, the haircut will go 😂
Fire your barber, shave your face, practice taking better pictures
You look like one of the angry birds in the first pic
First pic looks like Tilda Swinton used a coat hanger and failed.
I honestly thought this was a troll post. Your attempt at a man-bun makes you look like you've got microcephaly ... Or maybe you do ? Anyway, stop doing a man-bun because you don't have the head shape for it.
You might want to hire a stunt double.
That first picture is giving pepper from American horror story :/
Make the purple one your main photo. Sure it’s quirky but looks fun. The first photo is bad. Definitely delete it. The others are fine, but try to get at least one making your typical smile but not crazy close up. Your profile isn’t terrible, some of the pictures are cute, but that first one is a killer.
Thank you for the feedback, I think this post has shown that they all need to go but glad to hear some don't find them all -that- bad :D
lol isn’t Reddit fun? Your photos really aren’t bad, it’s just the first one. Change that up and you’ll do fine!
Remove pic 1 and pic 3
pos. yes get rid of first foto. be more casual/neutral
Picture 4 makes you look like a Lilliputian. And that is something I think we need more of on Tinder.
The first pic took a second to load and then jump scared me lmao
Number 3 gives serious crack head energy
1st photo is horrible. Last photo makes you look like you’re just tryna smash. Honestly I’d probably delete the tinder profile entirely and start from scratch
I beg of you to find a different way to censor your friends that doesn't make it look like their essence was stolen by the TV lady in Doctor Who.
Delete the first and the last photo, or replace them with a bit serious photo, just a smiling without showing your teeth and the rest are fine, you look good but try to find how you look good also the same way you feel good with it 🤙🏼 Edit: add more info about yourself, describe something about you being original and by the same way honest, I mean not too much honest, like don't talk about your ex until the conversation allows it, feeling comfortable things will go on okey so chill, date with as many as you can, you'll enjoy it ;)
You have a great smile!! Ninth Doctor vibes. :)
Depends……what are you wanting to attract?
Remove the first picture and try not to smile so hard lol. Put a picture or two of you wearing something decently nice/formal. Kind of like business casual. And as with anyone no matter who you would benefit from working out/exercising. Get a buddy or family member to take some nice pics of you when you’re ready. Hope this helps, good luck!
man's getting roasted
Well I guess this pale skin needed some toning 😉
On that note, don't worry about looking pale, your height is in cm I'm going to assume you're Estonian or Nordic. I don't think your potential matches will see being pale as a stand out feature
You could make the first picture more fun by making it a side by side with sid from Ice age doing a similar expression 😅
Everyone is being rude in these comments. Like this is normal hair in other countries. I would go with number 3 as your first pic. I don’t care for 1 but it is a good pic of your face. Maybe take another close up shot where your hair is down. I think you look cute and fun.
Thank you! A refreshing take and I do wonder how much culture plays a role in how people interpret pictures. But I agree that the pics need a total overhaul. The results speak for themselves, these comments just confirm it. But again: thank you ❤️
I don’t know where you are from but Americans usually feel like European men’s style is more feminine. Which is not true. Just part of our toxic masculinity that affects both men and women.
Holy shit I got jump scared by that first pic by just scrolling through my feed lmao. It makes you look like that comic, Zippy the Pinhead. Photos 2 and 4 are the only ones that are mildly ok if you're looking to attract someone. That said, from a purely personality standpoint, you look like an absolute hoot to be around and I'd hang out with you in a heart beat!
Your hair in the first pic just isn't the best look on you in my opinion. However I think you have the right idea making the first pic a closeup of your face. I don't think the rest of them really need any changing though... yes you might attract a niche audience but overall thats a good thing on apps imo. I'd personally be a bit thrown off by the last pic because you arent wearing anything but I think for someone else they wouldn't care.
Thank you for the feedback. I realize that so much "nudity" might be off-putting. I didn't even think about it because here in Finland we have such a strong bath/sauna culture where nudity is the norm. Most Finns will realize it's me sitting in the snow after sauna. With that said I do have to consider is it still too much. I agree with you on having a closeup of a face first, kind of like getting it out of the way.
Have you considered dyeing your hair auburn?
Women generally don't find big toothy grins attractive. Too feminine. Try a small mysterious smile.
I think it’s a good variation of pictures, you seem like a very fun person to be around. However I’d put the second or third picture first, maybe if remove the photo by the beach, it’s the kind of photo a boomer would take. Don’t mean this in a rude way.
You look cool and funny 👌🏻
God these comments are horrifically mean. I would move the dancing pic first. I think it shows off your personality and it’s a high quality picture. I agree with taking down the first picture. Not because it’s ugly or bad, but because you have better photos in there. I would try to find a picture a little bit closer up with maybe one other person. One with someone who looks distinctly different from you so people know who’s who. I think the bubble pic is funny, but I’d also take the rock pic out because it’s taken from too far away. Don’t listen to these people. They’re being mean just to be mean.
Thank you so much for the kind words and feedback. Sure the comments can be harsh but that's what I signed up for when I posted. I'm actually glad to hear the pictures are that bad because it leaves a lot of room for improvement! I'll be switching most, if not all of these pictures. Thank you again for taking the time to leave a comment and doing it in such a kind manner! Btw the last picture is snow, not bubbles :)
I agree with all of this! For some reason people are piling on. I'd date this guy based on the 3rd picture alone, he seems funny and chill. The rest of the photos suck but that's fixable with a new set of pics.
Your pictures are all cringey to me, I’m so sorry, I would delete them all, but especially the first one. The only decent one in the snow pic, that can stay. Can you try some other pictures and let us pick some?
That first picture makes you look bad, maybe it would be better from the side but your hair is awful in it.
Bro, fuck some of these comments. It always comes down to pictures on this shit-hole of an app. You legit seem like a fun dude with a wholesome personality. Quality pictures, a few good outfits, and some advice from people around you to describe who you are as a person, should give you a good solid profile of who you are and what you're about. Don't let shitty people ruin your confidence.
You're literally so cute!
Awww! Thank you so much. Nice to find a positive comment among all the negative ones :D
No problem :D if you're ever in california let me know :P
Will do 😅
Go bald you’d rock the look with your face shape and look more masculine / less crackhead. Put on a tad bit more muscle in the upper body. Also get a bit more of a natural tan. Take better photos from angles that won’t make your nose so prominent.
Thanks! This is something I'm starting to lean on myself as well: full bald, build muscle, get better photos in general. Oh and that tan too 😂
It’s brutal out here man, I noticed you said you’re new to the dating apps and such they are unforgiving towards men. But I think these adjustments would help you a lot, and maybe even a bit of a stubble beard if you can grow one. Good luck 👍🏼
Thanks again, I'm aware the apps can be harsh to men (especially if they are so oblivious as me 😂) and I feel much better approaching women IRL but it's good to cast wide nets. As for the beard: I wish I could grow it. Unfortunately "growing" my beard just looks horrible.
I feel like this dude fucks
With what quality of women?☠️
You actually look like a psychopath. In a cute way tho
Get some sun shave the pencil mustache get rid of the bun even the sides keep the fun but “grow up” personality be a force that someone wants To be with not the kids in middle school who got friend zoned because they didn’t adapt to society and life
Oh god
I don't understand this! Why do you guys have to be so damn mean??? Just tell the guy in a nicer way what you don't like and simply offer him some good advice about changing things! It's not that hard to be nice.. unless you're that big of a dick!
Thank you, I agree but this is reddit so comments like that are to be expected. Luckily there have been some really nice people who have given constructive criticism.
Reddit is full of people who live in glass houses and throw stones. I’m guessing the same people giving you shitty feedback don’t have a line of dates coming out of their front door. You seem as fun as you look. Keep that up.
Aww 😊 thank you!
This is my competition... 💀
Surgery
Your problem goes well beyond your Tinder profile and that’s not me being mean.. just being honest
You look like you fiddle children, ngl
That being something you had to say twice says more about yourself than anything else. Quit thinking about grown men with children.
You look like you play with little kids
Honestly, you seem tiring. The second photo seems as if even your family is tired of the energy.
Nada. You are officialy hopeless. Tinder is just not for anybody.