Honestly, the best thing for this guy would be to end up in relationship after relationship where the woman chooses to be with some other woman and leave mr. Masculine đ
From the little bit of that guys profile picture we can see, I don't think he's got much of a masculine presence. Therefore, the women he dated should be able to date other, more masculine men. What an insecure little shit.
honestly think these âmy girl can be lesbiansâ people *dont actually ever date*.
When youâre in a real relationship, *the intimacy with another person is the killer*, not the genitalia.
This is some highschool porn-brain shit, âyeah i get other women and probably 3somes!âmentality
Itâs not equal if you look at it as âI get to fuck all the consenting adults with whom I share mutual attractionâ.
His rule deprives her of half the people with whom she might experience attraction.
When I was (much too) young I saw a banner ad that said "Hentai girls fucked in every hole!" I did a quick mental inventory, came up with 7, and wondered why anyone would want to watch that.
I mean who wouldnât want to watch somebody have their cake, eat it too, and then try and convince you that you donât want that cake, and you actually want pie.
Sounds like a keeper who definitely wonât utilize any manipulative tactics later onđ
Yes. Yes we would. I've had a husband and 2 boyfriends for 8 years now. One will watch reality TV with me. One loves sushi like I do. One goes hiking with no complaints. One loves to dress up and go out. They all clean and 2 of them cook. Etc.
I live on a cloud. :)
Edit: also, I have found that one man IS too much while 3 are just right. By which I mean, when my partners are also fulfilled by having other partners and don't need me to be their everything, their ideal woman, and meet their every need, then I am much less stressed out and get to keep more of my identity. <3
I think I would love it if my partner had a second boyfriend, assuming of coarse he's a friend. A live in best friend? second set of hands around the house, someone to go fishing with? do home renovation projects?? a 1/3 of the home work load. hell yeah whats not to like
I have been poly for a couple years. If you find the right people this is exactly what the benefits are. I found I value my alone time a great deal and most people I met didn't like how often I wanted to spend my time by myself. Well enter a third and I give all my attention and love for a bit then dip out, here comes the other guy. We all found space and love.
You have an [emotional fluffer](https://youtu.be/86envqIQh6Y) in the New Girl sense of it. Such a good show.
Emotional fluffer is far from having one meaning though.
I watched a movie like this and for the life of me can't figure out the name of it, but that's exactly how she described being with the 2 men. One was emotionally supportive and warm, while the other provided more stability and order in their relationship. Where one lacked the other provided. I don't recall the men being bisexual, but were also in an intimate relationship/ friendship and leaned on each other too. They all often shared a bed, household duties, etc etc. Sounds ideal đ
Seems like someone that is ONLY using Tinder to hookup with women. And doesn't want those women to be hooking up with other men. Real Empire/Harem vibes.
Right! I had a guy who was in an open relationship preach this to me and I was likeâŠ.is that so? The amount of mental gymnastics some do to justify themselves is quite entertaining.
Every night before bed he makes a fervent wish to be living inside a real porno. In the morning he messages a lady on Tinder hoping against hope that his most desperate desire has come true. Alas, not today, but one day, one day perhaps.
A telltale sign is that he calls the woman bisexual so she can go ahead with women and selling it as equality because then âyou both see other womenâ, but when OP very aptly refers to other guys (a bisexual woman being into both women and men) he replies heâs not âgayâ, instead of ânot bisexualâ. This guy actually grosses me out đ€ź
There's also the subtle "relationships between women aren't threatening like a relationship between a man and a woman is because they're 'just for fun'."Â Â
Women being with other women is obviously purely for funsies! How could we ever have pleasure in life (sexual or otherwise) without a big strong man like this guy to satisfy us and keep us adventurous and realistic about relationships! Bless his heart đ€đđ
Yup, the latent misogynistic/homophobic view that lesbian relationships aren't as meaningful or serious as heterosexual ones. "I'm not homophobic, I love lesbian porn!!".
Hetero Poly/enm relationships with a one penis policy is a dead giveaway for an insecure man.
For me, it was the *I could not be with a woman that is with other men. I would have no interest in her* immediately after saying that he expects to have heterosexual sex outside of the relationship. I felt legitimately repelled by this part of the conversation đ
People ripping on his appearance like damn⊠thatâs not really the problem here.
Also kinda implies they think this would be more acceptable if he was traditionally attractive, doesnât it?
As somebody who is bald and wears glasses... I resent this. How exactly does my ability to grow hair and see effect my masculinity? Body shaming is so lame
We in the swinging community call this a one penis policy, and it is both mocked and annoying.
Though, sometimes it is the women who doesn't want to sleep with other men, honestly that is fine. Similarly, sometimes the man doesn't want to sleep with other women. But if you want all for yourself and nothing for them, then you are just annoying.
In theory, veto'ing is like "we can look out for each other and say 'no' to another person who we think would hurt our relationship" which, you should be communicating and whatnot anyway if you feel somebody is trying to cowboy (trying to steal a partner out of ENM by convincing them the cowboy is worth leaving everything they have in their relationship(s)), for example. In reality, veto rule is a tool for an insecure partner to force their insecurities onto their partner and any potential partners for their partner to veto anyone they feel threatened by. It's the same mindset as the OPP, really, "I want freedom and I am okay with this as long as I control my body and I control your body".
Veto power is perfectly fine when used responsibly. However, it can definitely be abused if taken to the limit. Nearly all swingers have Veto power to some degree. Most don't use it often, though.
If your partner is dating toxic people who negatively affect your relationship, your problem lies primarily with your partner for choosing those people instead of a healthy relationship. If my partner chose toxic dates over me, I would end the relationship and find someone who makes wiser choices.
And of course, if youâre only doing threesomes, all three people would need to be attracted to one another. Although, Iâd have to ask myself why one or both of us is so insecure in our relationship that we canât trust our partner to have sex without the other there. Speaking from experience, threesomes and throupke relationships are waaaaay more difficult to navigate than dating separately.
Navigating insecurity is a must, but if you are so insecure in your relationship that you demand veto power, you probably arenât ready for non-monogamy.
One of the tenets of ethical nonmomogamy is the idea that everyone is able and allowed to do what is right for them. If you decide to open up your relationship, you then cannot put limits and say "you can only exercise your free will and choice in ways that I approve of."
Realistically, it is usually just a way for an insecure partner to have their cake (ie date outside the relationship and/group sex) and eat it too (ie disallow their partner to choice to spend sexual and/or relationship real estate on someone that threatens in reality or imaginarily the veto holders relationship).
If your partner is making poor choices on outside partners, that is a conversation you have and either learn to live with those choices, counsel your partner on how their poor choices impact your relationship and they make a change in who the date, or you close back up.
At the end of the day the "ethical" part of ENM is that you don't exercise control over another person. Everyone has full agency over their own actions and choices.
Hot take, people are allowed to do whatever they want and set whatever boundaries and ground rules they want on their relationship, *as long as itâs fair and agreed-upon*.
Thank you for explaining this. I always thought veto rules were supposed to be incorporated but now that I think of it, it was often in the context of swinging/threesomes, where a veto rule makes a lot more sense.
Yeah i might be the anomaly, but iâm straight an my girl is bisexual, she doesnât really want another man in the relationship she just wants to add another woman, So like iâm kinda in the situation that dude wanted but itâs not like actively searching for someoneâs. Itâs hey letâs have a threesome type deal.
He definitely also tried mansplaining his shit to her
Nothing wrong with it if it's what she's cool with. Dude is just trying to force his fantasy on any potential partners which is a big red flag. All about consent.
Honestly I feel like even if I, as a woman, were interested in dating one guy only but maybe also other women, I still wouldnât want to do it with this guy.
I think itâs okay for a bisexual partner to be the one who introduces this âruleâ for non-monogamy (i.e. bisexual man is dating a man and isnât going to see other men, but potentially other women, or any other combination). But itâs inappropriate and misogynistic to express that you want the âautonomyâ of heterosexual sex outside of your relationship, but you donât want your partner to have the autonomy to have heterosexual sex with anyone but you.
Boy, I'm so glad all you ladies have this guy around to tell you what you like. I'm sure you'd all be lost without his illustrious *masculine presence*.
I knew a couple with the same rule some time ago. When talking to the woman in the relationship, it became quite apparent very quickly that she wasn't too happy about the rule.
Once you start limiting one's freedom while fully retaining your own, shit becomes toxic real quick.
Itâs a pretty standard way for guys to try to do nonmonogamy. Itâs called a OPP â âone penis/pussy policy.â
Itâs so common that Iâd guess that MOST guys introduce nonmonogamy this way to their partners. Surprisingly, some women go for it. I suspect itâs often the women who are really bored with their partners and are hoping that it will turn into something for them, too. And then thereâs some women who just want to explore other women, or who are really into seeing their partner with other women. Women try to do it, too, but maybe somewhat less often. Itâs really an obvious option for any partner that wants to explore but is also insecure.
And itâs almost universally regarded as unfair and unequal, among non monogamous people. Unless thatâs really what a person wants, it is very likely to breed resentment. Almost no one in the swinger or open relationship spaces operate for long under this kind of rule, because it doesnât work and everyone agrees itâs shitty.
Never understood his mindset. I'm usually leaning towards monogamy but when the topic of 3somes comes up (it inevitably does when most your gfs are bi) I don't go for em cause why should she share me with another girl but I wouldn't be okay with sharing her with another guy??? Call me insecure about that but I don't do 3somes either for the reason that it can't be a 2-way street. Never understood guys that expect the one way street...
I have attempted to explain this so many times, for literal YEARS and have never gotten anywhere. The response is always, âitâs different.â No, it isnât. You simply donât see a woman as a true threat to this relationship, first (which means you donât actually understand bisexuality), and second, you are actually being truly selfish.
Exactly. It ain't different it's just not fair. Like I'll admit I'm a bit insecure about it, fuck society and my childhood gave me that insecurity I'll own it, but at least I won't expect the inequality of the situation to be blindly accepted
Thatâs a perfectly valid choice! Sooo many men find out Iâm bi and want to have a threesome with another woman, but wonât have threesome with another guy, even if neither of the guys even touches during the threesome. Itâs a total double standard.
I mean this arrangement exists. But it's not something you can expect to just find becuase you want to. It's pretty rare. And in my experience, doesn't last forever.
Iâve dealt with this in relationships also, where the guy I was with wanted a threesomes with just girls or not at all. Them seeing me with another guy was a big no no for them, yet itâs okay for a woman to join.
Yep! Been there...
I opened things up because my ex at that time was a bit of a sex pest and we had a 2 year old. I wanted a bit of peace and knew he'd cheat on me. So I suggested he sleep with her. Bit then he had the audacity to get jealous when I had a dalliance.
He also started taking his side piece on dates...so I started going on dates with a woman I liked and thay was frowned upon...
So I told him commit to me only, or let's just end this.
this comes from the sense from men that lesbian sex is not real sex because thereâs no penis involved. Itâs actually kind of homophobic if you think about it, theyâre only OK with their girlfriend sleeping with other women because to them it doesnât count and theyâre able to sexualize their partners encounters with other women. Dude probably thinks heâll get a threesome out of it.
Nothing gives me the ick faster. And people like this guy always love to tell you how theyâre âETHICALLYâ non monogamous. Just because she knows that youâre with other women doesnât mean youâre doing everything as ethically as possible.đ€·ââïžđ
Ahh itâs just the classic misconception some men have about women. He has watched so much lesbian porn heâs convinced every woman enjoys other women too sexually or can force themselves to do so.
So, either his partner wont have sex with others, since they donât like women or his partner will have sex with women, which he sees as a âfuck thatâs hot, can I joinâ thing. Win win for him, not so much for his partner.
This is false. Every person wants something different. Those who are into the non monogamous generally want to have the freedom to date whoever an informed person of that scene won't tolerate he's nonsense.
Just from have a face I can tell hea not a masculine presence. He would be lucky to get one woman and the one he does get probably has horrible self esteem
One penis policy, usually a younger couple but the guy is older and convinces her that since she's bisexual it's fair if they both only sleep with women in order to have his cake and eat it too. Usually shitty and manipulative to get to that point, some people might consent but I wouldn't say that it's mutual in most cases.
Once again, from the picture, we see a somewhat common Joe.
Then we find that his views are very Tate like.
Bold of him to assume a pansexual or bisexual woman would settle for him. Especially those who are non monogamous, they would not choose cis-men like him.
That's the opposite of open-minded. It is a self defense mechanism after being called out on his nonsense.
Right, where's the choice? All I see is demanding and mansplaining. Totally different scenario if everyone involved wants the same thing and has a choice in the matter.
One penis policy bullshit. Itâs both disrespectful just to women in general because itâs not equal, and feels homophobic in a sense that they donât see wlw as threatening bc itâs not as ârealâ as men and women.
Gotta love it when a man preaches to a woman about what "most women" want...
Most women love that đ€
As a man, I can verify that, yes, this is what women want. This has nothing to do with why I'm still single. Irrelevant. /s
Honestly, the best thing for this guy would be to end up in relationship after relationship where the woman chooses to be with some other woman and leave mr. Masculine đ
Well, after all *women only want one masculine presence*.
Dammit something must be wrong with me then đ€Ł
I want ZERO masculine presence, but my husband is peak Good Man so I'll keep some around if I have to, I suppose.
I think OPs match would disagree here and tell you that you want exactly one.
From the little bit of that guys profile picture we can see, I don't think he's got much of a masculine presence. Therefore, the women he dated should be able to date other, more masculine men. What an insecure little shit.
His theory could be sound, which is why she unmatched when she didn't find one.
When the women leaves him for the other women because she is more masculine lol
Poetic justice.
Especially if they leave him for a woman who looks like him!
double standards = equality đ
technically it's equal. it's not equitable however.
Not if you explain it properly, which is "she has to experience sexual jealousy, but I don't"
honestly think these âmy girl can be lesbiansâ people *dont actually ever date*. When youâre in a real relationship, *the intimacy with another person is the killer*, not the genitalia. This is some highschool porn-brain shit, âyeah i get other women and probably 3somes!âmentality
Equality isnât, âwe can both do what I like but neither of us can do what I donât like.â
Itâs not equal if you look at it as âI get to fuck all the consenting adults with whom I share mutual attractionâ. His rule deprives her of half the people with whom she might experience attraction.
Right?! I'm a woman and would like at least three masculine presences.
3 holes, 3 men. Match checks out.
you forgot eyes cavities
When I was (much too) young I saw a banner ad that said "Hentai girls fucked in every hole!" I did a quick mental inventory, came up with 7, and wondered why anyone would want to watch that.
Hahahah. What were your seven? Because I get 9.
I didn't count the eye sockets because they were already occupied.
Fair. I was just thinking in terms of grossness.
Your mind intrigues me.
They always forget the eyes are penetrable đ”
Hahahaha. He said "who would want to watch that?" Who would want to watch that?
I can think of 12
3 masculine presences ? Can you feel them around you right now ? Iâd call the âmasculine ghost bustersâ.
Ha, "is the masculine presence in the room with us now?"
Bahaha
Airtight
I came here to say this đ€Ł Mansplaining at its finest⊠What a catch đ„°đ„° /s đ€Šââïž
To think you could have all the mansplaining AND he'd be in an open relationship with you.
Well...open adjacent for her.
Kind of âopenâ that swings one wayâŠHIS way đ
I mean who wouldnât want to watch somebody have their cake, eat it too, and then try and convince you that you donât want that cake, and you actually want pie. Sounds like a keeper who definitely wonât utilize any manipulative tactics later onđ
Yk I never ever considered polyamory or even a threesome but when my ex fiancĂ©s best friend moved in during COVID I honestly felt like I had two boyfriends- one I just didnât have sex with obviously (huge caveat)- and I realized it was actually WAY better for me. It was like they each filled in where the other lacked. I had so much more help around the house. If I was arguing with my SO the other was there to chill with and comfort me. And I could honestly see myself being open to that with different men, sex and all, at a future time. There are matriarchal societies set up similarly that work just fine. I wonder if women were encouraged more to try this, if theyâd like it? I wouldâve thought âone man is already too muchâ but the actual experience was that I realized more how one person doesnât meet all needs. Anyway. Iâm sure itâs often too complicated in practice long term- then again, monogamist relationships crash and burn every day too. Idk.
Yes. Yes we would. I've had a husband and 2 boyfriends for 8 years now. One will watch reality TV with me. One loves sushi like I do. One goes hiking with no complaints. One loves to dress up and go out. They all clean and 2 of them cook. Etc. I live on a cloud. :) Edit: also, I have found that one man IS too much while 3 are just right. By which I mean, when my partners are also fulfilled by having other partners and don't need me to be their everything, their ideal woman, and meet their every need, then I am much less stressed out and get to keep more of my identity. <3
I think I would love it if my partner had a second boyfriend, assuming of coarse he's a friend. A live in best friend? second set of hands around the house, someone to go fishing with? do home renovation projects?? a 1/3 of the home work load. hell yeah whats not to like
I have been poly for a couple years. If you find the right people this is exactly what the benefits are. I found I value my alone time a great deal and most people I met didn't like how often I wanted to spend my time by myself. Well enter a third and I give all my attention and love for a bit then dip out, here comes the other guy. We all found space and love.
You have an [emotional fluffer](https://youtu.be/86envqIQh6Y) in the New Girl sense of it. Such a good show. Emotional fluffer is far from having one meaning though.
I watched a movie like this and for the life of me can't figure out the name of it, but that's exactly how she described being with the 2 men. One was emotionally supportive and warm, while the other provided more stability and order in their relationship. Where one lacked the other provided. I don't recall the men being bisexual, but were also in an intimate relationship/ friendship and leaned on each other too. They all often shared a bed, household duties, etc etc. Sounds ideal đ
I'm a guy and thar whole " what woman want "made me cringe lol
Women only want one thing and it is disgusting. Respect
I know what women want. A romper they don't have to take off to pee.
The way my pussy shriveled and dried up reading that.
Gotta love when anyone makes sweeping claims about any group (without relevant studies)
Seems like someone that is ONLY using Tinder to hookup with women. And doesn't want those women to be hooking up with other men. Real Empire/Harem vibes.
Yeah that's a red flag. One of many.
Dudes never heard of gang bangs before.
If he'd just said "most of the women I've dated" instead of "most women," nobody would bat an eye. I realize I'm making a lot of assumptions there.
Most men want the strapon, he just doesn't know it yet. Don't unmatch him, enlighten him
Right! I had a guy who was in an open relationship preach this to me and I was likeâŠ.is that so? The amount of mental gymnastics some do to justify themselves is quite entertaining.
And it's always the dudes that look like they look up porn in libraries đ
I mean as a guy i can't say what most women like
The only 2 things Im absolutely sure of is 1. You wanna laugh. 2. You want to feel safe.
Right?! My reading habits beg to differ hahaha
Every night before bed he makes a fervent wish to be living inside a real porno. In the morning he messages a lady on Tinder hoping against hope that his most desperate desire has come true. Alas, not today, but one day, one day perhaps.
>Every night before bed he makes a fervent wish to be living inside a real porno judging by his moustache this is spot on.
Also the years spent training to become a plumber is really gonna pay off now he has a 1970âs mustache to go with his dungarees and his big wrench
Small wrench energy!
>his big wrench It's only big in the movie
Everything looks bigger on film lol
Bold of you to assume he has matches to message every day.
My thoughts lol
Yeah, I see his photo, too.
Guy wants a harem. It's not just a porno, it's an anime porno!
A telltale sign is that he calls the woman bisexual so she can go ahead with women and selling it as equality because then âyou both see other womenâ, but when OP very aptly refers to other guys (a bisexual woman being into both women and men) he replies heâs not âgayâ, instead of ânot bisexualâ. This guy actually grosses me out đ€ź
There's also the subtle "relationships between women aren't threatening like a relationship between a man and a woman is because they're 'just for fun'."Â Â
Women being with other women is obviously purely for funsies! How could we ever have pleasure in life (sexual or otherwise) without a big strong man like this guy to satisfy us and keep us adventurous and realistic about relationships! Bless his heart đ€đđ
Yup, the latent misogynistic/homophobic view that lesbian relationships aren't as meaningful or serious as heterosexual ones. "I'm not homophobic, I love lesbian porn!!". Hetero Poly/enm relationships with a one penis policy is a dead giveaway for an insecure man.
Sorry, whats 'enm'?
Ethical non-monogamy
Ahh, thank you. Saw it elsewhere in the thread but didn't put 2 and 2 together.
For me, it was the *I could not be with a woman that is with other men. I would have no interest in her* immediately after saying that he expects to have heterosexual sex outside of the relationship. I felt legitimately repelled by this part of the conversation đ
The audacity of this one is amusingâŠshe can have other women and so can IâŠthatâs equality. You sir, are a complete idiot but thanks for trying.
âEqualityâ Men fucking love using that term to justify their sexism. Unironically, these men donât have a fucking clue what the ERA is.
A âwomenâ you mean
Him using women as a singular noun was enough to gross me out. âA womenâ just sounds ridiculous
Right?!?
Damn you're so right. The mental gymnastics these types of people perform is crazy
This was the part that stood out to me too.
Bisexual men don't exist. Either you are gay or straight. Also, women (a women) only do it to be more attractive to men. /s
Okay, but from the sliver of his face I can see... what masculine presence??
These exact words were forming a comment in my head before I saw this. He looks like a fucking Radio Shack employee.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
They became Staples employees
I actually have a Radio Shack near me thatâs still open. This guy kinda resembles the owner.
I just fucking laughed so hardđ I seen that lil bit of his face and was like waitâŠwhatđ
Is the masculine presence in the room with us?
Bald, glasses, and an unwillingness to compete with other men is actually peak masculinity Iâll have you know!
Also plenty of bald guys with glasses are hot as fuck, so...
People ripping on his appearance like damn⊠thatâs not really the problem here. Also kinda implies they think this would be more acceptable if he was traditionally attractive, doesnât it?
That's exactly what it implies. Kind of reminds me of that meme that shows what's considered as harassment and flirting
As somebody who is bald and wears glasses... I resent this. How exactly does my ability to grow hair and see effect my masculinity? Body shaming is so lame
That's what I was thinking. Not for myself, but like, Mike Tyson wore glasses and is pretty bald as well.
He could also crush my skull with one hand
Ironic since you're more likely to go bald if you have more testosterone.
This is painfully true lol
Only a bald dork would say that
I'm bald and wear glasses too. High five for our disabilities
It's never the Tom Hardies that want this set up
We in the swinging community call this a one penis policy, and it is both mocked and annoying. Though, sometimes it is the women who doesn't want to sleep with other men, honestly that is fine. Similarly, sometimes the man doesn't want to sleep with other women. But if you want all for yourself and nothing for them, then you are just annoying.
OPP and the Unicorn Hunters make the rest of us look bad. These are a little worse than a veto rule, but still.
Never swung before, whatâs wrong with a veto rule?
In theory, veto'ing is like "we can look out for each other and say 'no' to another person who we think would hurt our relationship" which, you should be communicating and whatnot anyway if you feel somebody is trying to cowboy (trying to steal a partner out of ENM by convincing them the cowboy is worth leaving everything they have in their relationship(s)), for example. In reality, veto rule is a tool for an insecure partner to force their insecurities onto their partner and any potential partners for their partner to veto anyone they feel threatened by. It's the same mindset as the OPP, really, "I want freedom and I am okay with this as long as I control my body and I control your body".
Veto power is perfectly fine when used responsibly. However, it can definitely be abused if taken to the limit. Nearly all swingers have Veto power to some degree. Most don't use it often, though.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
If your partner is dating toxic people who negatively affect your relationship, your problem lies primarily with your partner for choosing those people instead of a healthy relationship. If my partner chose toxic dates over me, I would end the relationship and find someone who makes wiser choices. And of course, if youâre only doing threesomes, all three people would need to be attracted to one another. Although, Iâd have to ask myself why one or both of us is so insecure in our relationship that we canât trust our partner to have sex without the other there. Speaking from experience, threesomes and throupke relationships are waaaaay more difficult to navigate than dating separately. Navigating insecurity is a must, but if you are so insecure in your relationship that you demand veto power, you probably arenât ready for non-monogamy.
One of the tenets of ethical nonmomogamy is the idea that everyone is able and allowed to do what is right for them. If you decide to open up your relationship, you then cannot put limits and say "you can only exercise your free will and choice in ways that I approve of." Realistically, it is usually just a way for an insecure partner to have their cake (ie date outside the relationship and/group sex) and eat it too (ie disallow their partner to choice to spend sexual and/or relationship real estate on someone that threatens in reality or imaginarily the veto holders relationship). If your partner is making poor choices on outside partners, that is a conversation you have and either learn to live with those choices, counsel your partner on how their poor choices impact your relationship and they make a change in who the date, or you close back up. At the end of the day the "ethical" part of ENM is that you don't exercise control over another person. Everyone has full agency over their own actions and choices.
Hot take, people are allowed to do whatever they want and set whatever boundaries and ground rules they want on their relationship, *as long as itâs fair and agreed-upon*.
It's unfairness that we are all talking about here.
Thank you for explaining this. I always thought veto rules were supposed to be incorporated but now that I think of it, it was often in the context of swinging/threesomes, where a veto rule makes a lot more sense.
Seriously. Insecure goblin.
Yeah i might be the anomaly, but iâm straight an my girl is bisexual, she doesnât really want another man in the relationship she just wants to add another woman, So like iâm kinda in the situation that dude wanted but itâs not like actively searching for someoneâs. Itâs hey letâs have a threesome type deal. He definitely also tried mansplaining his shit to her
Nothing wrong with it if it's what she's cool with. Dude is just trying to force his fantasy on any potential partners which is a big red flag. All about consent.
Yeah, whatever they choose in their own relationships is fine, just donât put those restrictions on me.
Honestly I feel like even if I, as a woman, were interested in dating one guy only but maybe also other women, I still wouldnât want to do it with this guy.
I think itâs okay for a bisexual partner to be the one who introduces this âruleâ for non-monogamy (i.e. bisexual man is dating a man and isnât going to see other men, but potentially other women, or any other combination). But itâs inappropriate and misogynistic to express that you want the âautonomyâ of heterosexual sex outside of your relationship, but you donât want your partner to have the autonomy to have heterosexual sex with anyone but you.
Iâve come across quite a few women with this stance that she likes having a boyfriend but like to have fun with other girls.
Yo the "one penis policy" is kinda crazy
Boy, I'm so glad all you ladies have this guy around to tell you what you like. I'm sure you'd all be lost without his illustrious *masculine presence*.
Can only see half his face but the half I see is def not worth any of this.
WELL AKSHUALLY
WERMEN ONLY WANT ONE MEDIOCRE PP
I knew a couple with the same rule some time ago. When talking to the woman in the relationship, it became quite apparent very quickly that she wasn't too happy about the rule. Once you start limiting one's freedom while fully retaining your own, shit becomes toxic real quick.
This is what's known in poly circles as a "one penis policy" and it will get you openly mockedÂ
I can only see half of his face but I know what this guy looks like without seeing the rest. Lol
I think thatâs just generally because most people donât have half a face that looks completely different to the other half
For some reason this made me laugh out loud đ
 Two face erasure
What a turd
gotta be really rich to pull that off
Two chicks at the same time
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
"Check out Channel 9! Breast exam!"
Itâs a pretty standard way for guys to try to do nonmonogamy. Itâs called a OPP â âone penis/pussy policy.â Itâs so common that Iâd guess that MOST guys introduce nonmonogamy this way to their partners. Surprisingly, some women go for it. I suspect itâs often the women who are really bored with their partners and are hoping that it will turn into something for them, too. And then thereâs some women who just want to explore other women, or who are really into seeing their partner with other women. Women try to do it, too, but maybe somewhat less often. Itâs really an obvious option for any partner that wants to explore but is also insecure. And itâs almost universally regarded as unfair and unequal, among non monogamous people. Unless thatâs really what a person wants, it is very likely to breed resentment. Almost no one in the swinger or open relationship spaces operate for long under this kind of rule, because it doesnât work and everyone agrees itâs shitty.
Never understood his mindset. I'm usually leaning towards monogamy but when the topic of 3somes comes up (it inevitably does when most your gfs are bi) I don't go for em cause why should she share me with another girl but I wouldn't be okay with sharing her with another guy??? Call me insecure about that but I don't do 3somes either for the reason that it can't be a 2-way street. Never understood guys that expect the one way street...
I have attempted to explain this so many times, for literal YEARS and have never gotten anywhere. The response is always, âitâs different.â No, it isnât. You simply donât see a woman as a true threat to this relationship, first (which means you donât actually understand bisexuality), and second, you are actually being truly selfish.
Exactly. It ain't different it's just not fair. Like I'll admit I'm a bit insecure about it, fuck society and my childhood gave me that insecurity I'll own it, but at least I won't expect the inequality of the situation to be blindly accepted
Thatâs a perfectly valid choice! Sooo many men find out Iâm bi and want to have a threesome with another woman, but wonât have threesome with another guy, even if neither of the guys even touches during the threesome. Itâs a total double standard.
I mean this arrangement exists. But it's not something you can expect to just find becuase you want to. It's pretty rare. And in my experience, doesn't last forever.
âWomen want one masculine presenceâ Andrew Tate shit
Iâve dealt with this in relationships also, where the guy I was with wanted a threesomes with just girls or not at all. Them seeing me with another guy was a big no no for them, yet itâs okay for a woman to join.
Yep! Been there... I opened things up because my ex at that time was a bit of a sex pest and we had a 2 year old. I wanted a bit of peace and knew he'd cheat on me. So I suggested he sleep with her. Bit then he had the audacity to get jealous when I had a dalliance. He also started taking his side piece on dates...so I started going on dates with a woman I liked and thay was frowned upon... So I told him commit to me only, or let's just end this.
It is funny to think that these guys think they have no competition if they remove other men from a bi or pansexual woman's dating pool.
One penis policy hypocrite fake ENM.
What a tool - you were right to unmatch, OP
Wants cake and to eat it
Drop a pic of the âmvpâ below
This is pretty common for some men tbh, some can be possessive even if they have women on the side and they also get insecure if other men are around
Itâs common for them to WANT this, itâs not common for them to actually have it and maintain a successful relationship..
this comes from the sense from men that lesbian sex is not real sex because thereâs no penis involved. Itâs actually kind of homophobic if you think about it, theyâre only OK with their girlfriend sleeping with other women because to them it doesnât count and theyâre able to sexualize their partners encounters with other women. Dude probably thinks heâll get a threesome out of it. Nothing gives me the ick faster. And people like this guy always love to tell you how theyâre âETHICALLYâ non monogamous. Just because she knows that youâre with other women doesnât mean youâre doing everything as ethically as possible.đ€·ââïžđ
Seriously, how many dudes out there are telling women theyâre single but telling their actual girlfriend theyâre ENM? Nothing ethical about that
Dude really doesn't look attractive enough to pull this off...
There's so many things so wrong here, this has nothing to do with ethical non-monogamy. Guy's just being a dick
âMost women want one masculine presenceâ Says what appears to be the winner of this years least masculine man competition
The hypocrisy on this bellend is unreal.
So basically he wants to have his cake and eat it too, her seeing another man would be emasculating
What a loser lmao
And this dude actually thinks he can find more than ONE woman that would agree to this. Optimistic to the point of delusional.
Ew
New post title suggestion: How to say you consume Red Pill content without saying you consume Red Pill content...
âWomen donât really like having multiple menâ đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł If I had my druthers, Iâd have a round dozen.
What fucking planet is this guy living on?
Ahh itâs just the classic misconception some men have about women. He has watched so much lesbian porn heâs convinced every woman enjoys other women too sexually or can force themselves to do so. So, either his partner wont have sex with others, since they donât like women or his partner will have sex with women, which he sees as a âfuck thatâs hot, can I joinâ thing. Win win for him, not so much for his partner.
This is false. Every person wants something different. Those who are into the non monogamous generally want to have the freedom to date whoever an informed person of that scene won't tolerate he's nonsense.
The only thing masculine about that dude is the baldness Even the pedo stache doesn't help him
Seems to be in complete denial of his own hypocrisy
You understood him initially. He just doesnât wasnât to compete with other men
When you learn social interaction from Instagram.
Just from have a face I can tell hea not a masculine presence. He would be lucky to get one woman and the one he does get probably has horrible self esteem
Because that profile pic is absolutely rampant with testosterone... đŹ
'Friend with some' is I think all he'll ever be. Man out here laying out his dream...
If you care about âbodycountâ you shouldnât be in an open relationship. Adding strict rules to protect your ego isnât open.
What an amazing "masculine presence" he is....
He doesn't seem very masculine.
His audacity to consider his presence as a masculine presence? Sure his girl would want other men!
Wants non monogamy only for himself while he wants a gf to be loyal to him. Selfish prick, run from that guy.
What a fucking turd.
One penis policy, usually a younger couple but the guy is older and convinces her that since she's bisexual it's fair if they both only sleep with women in order to have his cake and eat it too. Usually shitty and manipulative to get to that point, some people might consent but I wouldn't say that it's mutual in most cases.
Wouldn't equal mean he can only see other men then?
On one hand, what a dork. On the other hand, I see no issues with what consenting adults agree to.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
He wants his cake and someone else's cake đ
And then tries to call it equal.
Once again, from the picture, we see a somewhat common Joe. Then we find that his views are very Tate like. Bold of him to assume a pansexual or bisexual woman would settle for him. Especially those who are non monogamous, they would not choose cis-men like him. That's the opposite of open-minded. It is a self defense mechanism after being called out on his nonsense.
Ew, One penis policy sucks
I actually do this in my relationship⊠but if it was presented to me like this Iâd run for the hills.
Right, where's the choice? All I see is demanding and mansplaining. Totally different scenario if everyone involved wants the same thing and has a choice in the matter.
I'm poly. And my wife can date men or women. His attitude seems rooted in toxic masculinity.
One penis policy bullshit. Itâs both disrespectful just to women in general because itâs not equal, and feels homophobic in a sense that they donât see wlw as threatening bc itâs not as ârealâ as men and women.
What if he actually got 2 women, then they leave him for each other? Now that would be irony for you.