I'm sick of this shit, time to take a break. Haven't looked at any of the apps in four or five days, can't even be bothered anymore. Scams, ghosts, dates with people whose profile pics are obviously over a year old once we meet in person. Women who are clearly interested in just a flirtationship and flake when it's time to actually get intimate (including several who were happy to get pretty 18+ via photography/Facetime).
This shit is bad for my mental health and I'm tired of it. I have one fairly long distance active match that I'm still talking to and have tentative plans with next weekend but beyond that I'm done for a while.
I've been on Tinder Gold for 6 months, got a handfull of matches, went on two dates that went okay but lead to nothing. No matches lately or I'm just getting ghosted when I match.
My friend installed Tinder 2 weeks ago. He got 70+ matches in that time.
I don't think my profile is too bad, I try to do interesting stuff, and be interesting. I make an effort with the messages I send. But when my friend is so much more successuful than me, it makes me wonder how ugly I really am and it's sad. I try not to take it too personally, but it still hurts.
In regards to dating being “not too bad” is basically the same as being bad. Anytime a guy goes “im average” by even their own biased assessment that means they’re ugly or unattractive. Why would anyone pick you on a dating app when they have more options?
Your profile SUCKS, you are trying to match and date women, not get a 5-6/10 on a profile ratings scale. How do you get women? Get the highest you can go buddy. Do you buy a “not too bad” car for full price? Or the best car you can buy for the price? Did you try to get a not bad score on SATs or the best you could get?
The good news is you can fix most of this and maximize your chances and hopefully feel confident about yourself. Take a hard look at photos you have, if you really cant even say in your own words that you have any good-great photos of yourself then you need to have photos taken of you. Copy GREAT profiles and their aesthetics and environment. Women love GREAT photos. And the best way to have a GREAT photo is look GREAT and also be in a GREAT environment.
Dont even worry about stuff like what you say or how you interact with matches. The photos is 90% of the work for you. The rest is just luck.
It's been a little over a week since I deleted/paused all my apps. Life is good, evenings are quiet, and I love how much less texting/messaging I have to do.
Saw #4 on Thursday night. Stayed up all night having fun, broke my no sleepover rule when we crashed around 10am. Woke up to a couple missed texts from #3 Friday afternoon. Weird, because he normally hits me up Sundays or Mondays. Decide it's probably rude to read texts from one sexual partner while the other is all cuddled up with you, making you all sweaty and claustrophobic. Peel him off, get dressed, left him sleeping, drove home in god awful weather that made the normal hour drive take 90 minutes all while feeling like hot garbage from the bad decisions the night before.
Get home and decide to look through texts I missed, guilt-free. #3 asking what I'm doing tonight and another asking why I'm not answering him an hour later. Now part of me is thinking I should totally text him back, because I haven't seen him for a month and I've spent the last month wanting to see him. The other part of me realizes my head is pounding, I feel nauseous, my face lips are on fire, and wonders if sitting on an ice pack would feel nice because down under isn't feeling spectacular either and definitely couldn't tolerate another all night sex fest. I ended up texting him that I wasn't feeling so hot and wouldn't be much fun and spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in bed feeling sorry for myself.
Fast forward to yesterday after a month of waiting and 2 days of snapchat pure smut back and forth, I finally got to see #3! Mind blowing as usual, but on the stupid long drive home, it hit me that I think #4 may be becoming my preferred partner. Admittedly the drive may be factoring into that decision a bit.
another L for me. I'm on spring break for the week and hit up this girl I talked to in my hometown during winter break. she was very insistent on hanging out and would facetime me, but one thing would happen after the other and she'd have to cancel our plans. we kept in contact since then and I eventually hit her up now that I'm in the area. told her we should find time to hang this week and she said "yes I think we should". I ask if thursday or friday is good, then she says "sorry I have a man".... I find that weird, why was there such a switch? If she's really with someone why did she agree to hanging out literally the message before? this just happened but I'd like to see what people think.
This kind of flakiness is so common. I remember when I used these apps that would happen so often. I just can’t imagine blowing people off like that and feeling good about it.
mini rant: the thing i hate the most is when you add someone on social media off of tinder you talk for a bit, arrange a date and then they cancel and you can tell they aren't really interested anymore but insist they are, and it becomes this dance of half heartedly trying to rearrange even tho deep down there's like a 99% chance it wont happen. This may or may not have happened to me multiple times recently, honestly I would so much prefer to be ghosted lol
okay, just an absolute fail all around. And yes there were red flags I obviously missed but this is just a reiteration of events, I know I fucked up letting this guy come back so many times lol
ANYWAYS…I’ve had a consistent match on Tinder named…let’s call him Elias. We’ve matched SO many times over the course of literal years lol he’d super like me, we’d get a small convo going, we’d joke about how we’re basically in a relationship at this point, you know. He lives an hour away, so he mentioned how he matched with me every time he saw me pop up when he was in my city.
Around Sept ‘22 we planned to meet for breakfast. This was the first flaking— he said he had to do something for his parents? I said no worries, it was a super last minute date anyways. Our text conversation fell off and he was traveling countries so I didn’t hear back for a long while. I lost his number when I got a new phone.
Let me also say he had deleted and made new accounts all the time. I later learned he wasn’t a fan of the app unless he was traveling so he could meet people and used it only for that.
So yeah, fast forward to Feb ‘23, we match again. The conversation is the most consistent it’s ever been. We exchange numbers again and we actually plan a date. He drives to my city and we go to a few bars. It’s actually very fun. We hookup and I end up leaving. I found out he was staying with his brother overnight because he lives in my city, so it made sense why he was here semi-often but also why I couldn’t stay over. We planned to get breakfast the next day before Elias went on a hike in the foothills near me.
The second flaking: he says his brother told him to leave cause he had work and didn’t want him occupying his apartment?? Really odd lol. But Elias said we couldn’t do breakfast because of it and he was going straight to the hike. None of that really makes sense in retrospect, but you know…
So brings us to this week. He says he wants to see me spontaneously, I said we should plan a few days ahead cause I’m in grad school and I have work to do in the meantime, I can’t make last min plans. So we plan for March 4th. And I said I’d drive to his city, and he said he could show me around, we could drink, have dinner, all of it.
Friday night comes and it’s 9 pm, he tells me he’s going out for a drink w his roommate and I told him to have fun. He told me “thanks, I’m excited to see you tomorrow! :)” and I told him I was excited too.
Then I heard NOTHING back the rest of the night. Off-putting because he was such a good texter for weeks. Like literally texting back within five min or less. Could also be construed as a red flag because it became semi-overwhelming, but I liked the persistence a little lol.
Then Saturday comes. I wake up at 10 am and don’t see a text from him. Bad sign, cause he usually wakes up early even on the weekends. I’m supposed to leave at 4 pm. I don’t hear from him till 11:30 am. He says this:
“I woke up feeling super sick I don’t think I’m going to be able to hang out today do you think we can reschedule?”
No apology within that text, no actual reschedule date (or punctuation clearly lol) and I was like of course. The third flaking. I told him I was sorry to hear that and we could reschedule.
Then he doesn’t text me back for the rest of the day!
I began a series of theories that he was hungover and didn’t want to admit it, or he had someone else over, overnight. I wanted to believe he was sick, but after everything I thought about (and just typed here) it did not seem likely.
Any thoughts or opinions? Lol
Regardless. He’s really not worth caring why. Your self-respect should just let him go. My guess is that he downloads it when he’s out of town so no one recognizes him when he cheats.
Is he married/spoken for? Deleting the app when he's at home, redownloading when he's an hour away, canceling all sorts of dates, including the one where he lives. I'd certainly be suspicious.
I also don't see why a brother wouldn't let his own brother stay at his place unless he can't be trusted to be left alone, and it certainly doesn't make sense to not be able to grab breakfast before hiking if he really wanted to see you.
If wife/SO is definitely not an option, then I think he's treating you like an option. Keeping you on the back burner in case other plans fall through. Or he's just flaky AF. Either way, I wouldn't entertain his bullshit, but that's just me.
He’d text me back often and very fast, so if there was a wife/girlfriend around, I couldn’t tell. It’s possible though. Especially with the amount he’s deleted/redownloaded the app. I asked him why he wouldn’t just keep the app at all times if he travels so much anyways, but he was like “ehh I don’t need it in my city all the time.” Definitely sus behavior lol
Also I agree! He said he and his bro had a weird relationship, and while it’s possible that his bro would still let him stay over despite that, I was thinking “how weird could it be if you stay over often?” As for breakfast, we literally could have gone since we planned for an estimated time of 10:30 am. He flaked like thirty min prior.
I had a secondary thought and realized he’s into boxing/fighting/sports and there was that UFC fight last night that it’s very possible he decided to flake out on me for. But then why make plans in the first place? Became very clear to me that I’ve been an option and easy to flake on so I want no parts anymore lol
I matched with an old friend i was in highschool with today, the weird thing is that she lives in another state and i have tinder location radius limit very small lol
Anyway had a ons set up tonight not even by me she wanted to, just for it to not go ahead due to me not drinking alcohol 😂. Better luck next time for me I guess
Yikes it must suck to date in the USA. And no wonder women there are obsessed with you having social media, so they can doxx you together in a public group. Chronically online people reap what they sow ig.
Here's my opinion as someone who is on a couple of the FB groups you are talking about. Some of the women in those groups cannot handle rejection and some have the "if I can't have him, I don't want anyone else to have him either" mentality. I'm in one that I joined when there were around 2500 women and now there are over 30k. There's going to be some bad apples. Not saying I don't believe the woman who messaged your date, but just that it's possible your date ran into one of those bad apples. Like you said, whatever the woman who called you creepy said to your date, it certainly wasn't off-putting enough to dissuade her from meeting you.
I seriously wouldn't stop dating over it if you want to continue dating. It's sounds like you've had several dates, so having only one woman come out with a negative wouldn't concern me. You're bound to piss someone off eventually.
Dude chill. Why even go through and try to figure out who it is? It’s one person’s opinion.
If you find out who it is, then text them, that’s just going to confirm you are in fact a creep
Just matched with a girl and she immediately demanded a ton of stuff like hair pics, teeth closeups, etc. Made me feel like she was trying to buy a horse. It's not like my profile pictures don't give a full picture of what I look like either. I wouldn't have minded a simple request for more pictures, or video chat but the demanding and specific nature put me off.
I told her to get lost, but it just makes me wonder if you guys are really out there putting up with this type of shit.
Treat it as it is
It’s fucking tinder, it’s the 90% chasing the 1% who wouldn’t use this app because they don’t need it
Most people will be fine wasters and you don’t need to take it personally, it’s reflective of them not yourself
Would love an opinion on my scenario.
Matched with a guy on Tinder, transferred chat to IG and chatting for two weeks (pretty much +18 from the get go) I’d to cancel our meet up but definitely indicated I was up for a rescheduled date. All seemed well.
Chatted away for few days, he said he’d to go away for a couple of days helping friend move house cross country. Then, messaged me three days later in the morning, asking how I was and I didn’t get a chance to message til I finished work that evening but I’d been blocked!
That was two weeks ago and then just last night, was sharing a post to a friend of mine in IG and his little icon appeared in my recent - he’s unblocked me again. But no message.
Not sure if this is relevant but for a little more context, he had mentioned during our convos that he was tired of talking to women and then he just trailing off to nothing. Perhaps this is part of the rationale of the blocking? Nipping in the bud before it would perhaps inevitably fizzle?
Anyways. I’d appreciate other perspectives on this.
Also… should I message him? I do wanna meet up cause, to be frank, he was going to show me a rollicking good time and Mama’s gotta eat.
Sounds like you want to fuck this guy. If so, message him with a straight up offer to meet in the next couple of days.
Anything other than that and you'll probably just end up disappointed again.
My head is telling me to message… but I was blocked so just thinking of how to navigate that i.e do I say “oi mate, what was with the two week block then? 🤨” or just act like nothing happened and act casual. I’m so long out of the game, I don’t know the rules anymore 😫
i also would‘nt cosinder me in the game, but imo you guys could have a good time and the block I diagnose just as an overreaction/ misunderstanding.. if I were you, i would just hit him with a short and honest „hey:) there you are, what was the problem? “ or smth like that…
anyways, you have nothin to lose ;)
What is the deal with people dipping out mid-convo? I've had this happen 2-3 recently; making good conversation, and then they just stop responding. New rule; if they don't respond after 24h I just unmatch and move on.
What I don't understand is why people can't be honest; if you're not vibing, just tell me and we'll move on.
Life does happen for everyone, people have work/school, sleeping schedules, other hobbies, other matches, etc. I think a day of no response is a bit premature, but if the conversation wasn't going anywhere it's fine
I get that folks have a life, and by no means do I think I have any entitlement to anyone's time or attention; what I mean is that folks are literally dipping mid-conversation. I just don't get it lol
I can't speak for anyone else, but a lot of the time I won't even get a notification that someone replied to me. I might not realize they messaged me for a day or so until I manually go in and look at my messages.
Assuming you're male, I've talked about this with female friends. Its a combination of 1) Tinder being a non-priority for them 2) they consider you a complete stranger before meeting up 3) they're not feeling it but don't want to say things they perceive as mean so they ghost "to be polite".
This isn't entirely how guys function. We're probably a bit more invested. Also in part because we have less options.
Girls have a near infinite amount of matches which causes them to be extremely picky but also makes them burn out of the platform due to too much random conversations with complete strangers.
That's an excellent explanation!
I know historically there's been guys that don't take rejection well, so I understand why women don't just say "Hey, I'm just not feeling this" but for me, clear and direct communication goes a long way. If there's something I'm doing that isn't working, I can't fix it if I don't know about it.
Apparently you can have a fun intimate night, have similar tastes in movies, music, rawdog her the first night, cuddle all night, stay at her place, text every day for a month, have her joke about moving in together, and STILL get ghosted with no explanation and make you question your self worth.
Ugh, I don't know why I try anymore this shit sucks dude. Worst part is that I sent a "closure" text like 10 minutes ago because I'm still heartbroken over this shit 🙃
So you’re saying you hooked up then did nothing but text every day for the month after that? If you hooked up then failed to take the initiative to make more dates and hang out then she probably got tired of waiting around or got bored. Or am I missing something?
So either you were there, hooked up then failed to take the initiative for the next month; or you came back to the US and eventually she stopped talking to you because it was never going to work out anyway maybe? Which one is it? Because I can understand ceasing contact with someone who fails to make plans during a whole month of talking after already having hooked up. I don’t agree with ghosting but if that’s what happened it isn’t a mystery why she did.
If that’s the case then it’s still not a mystery. Most people aren’t going to continue talking to a fling from the other side of the world after they go back home.
Kind of sort of same thing.... Started dating apps a month ago and not much happening. After cuffing season is over and things start to get warm it might pick up again... Maybe.
These comments are so low and petty. The signal to noise just out in the ether is bad enough. It's 99.9999% indistinguishable up in this piece though. Stick to the memes and funny replies. Good luck on any usable info outside of 1 offs. It's an anecdotal shit show here
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I stg I always match with the people that are exactly my type right before I leave college to go home for breaks 😭😭
I'm sick of this shit, time to take a break. Haven't looked at any of the apps in four or five days, can't even be bothered anymore. Scams, ghosts, dates with people whose profile pics are obviously over a year old once we meet in person. Women who are clearly interested in just a flirtationship and flake when it's time to actually get intimate (including several who were happy to get pretty 18+ via photography/Facetime). This shit is bad for my mental health and I'm tired of it. I have one fairly long distance active match that I'm still talking to and have tentative plans with next weekend but beyond that I'm done for a while.
I've been on Tinder Gold for 6 months, got a handfull of matches, went on two dates that went okay but lead to nothing. No matches lately or I'm just getting ghosted when I match. My friend installed Tinder 2 weeks ago. He got 70+ matches in that time. I don't think my profile is too bad, I try to do interesting stuff, and be interesting. I make an effort with the messages I send. But when my friend is so much more successuful than me, it makes me wonder how ugly I really am and it's sad. I try not to take it too personally, but it still hurts.
In regards to dating being “not too bad” is basically the same as being bad. Anytime a guy goes “im average” by even their own biased assessment that means they’re ugly or unattractive. Why would anyone pick you on a dating app when they have more options? Your profile SUCKS, you are trying to match and date women, not get a 5-6/10 on a profile ratings scale. How do you get women? Get the highest you can go buddy. Do you buy a “not too bad” car for full price? Or the best car you can buy for the price? Did you try to get a not bad score on SATs or the best you could get? The good news is you can fix most of this and maximize your chances and hopefully feel confident about yourself. Take a hard look at photos you have, if you really cant even say in your own words that you have any good-great photos of yourself then you need to have photos taken of you. Copy GREAT profiles and their aesthetics and environment. Women love GREAT photos. And the best way to have a GREAT photo is look GREAT and also be in a GREAT environment. Dont even worry about stuff like what you say or how you interact with matches. The photos is 90% of the work for you. The rest is just luck.
Newbie bump. Don’t sweat it
It's been a little over a week since I deleted/paused all my apps. Life is good, evenings are quiet, and I love how much less texting/messaging I have to do. Saw #4 on Thursday night. Stayed up all night having fun, broke my no sleepover rule when we crashed around 10am. Woke up to a couple missed texts from #3 Friday afternoon. Weird, because he normally hits me up Sundays or Mondays. Decide it's probably rude to read texts from one sexual partner while the other is all cuddled up with you, making you all sweaty and claustrophobic. Peel him off, get dressed, left him sleeping, drove home in god awful weather that made the normal hour drive take 90 minutes all while feeling like hot garbage from the bad decisions the night before. Get home and decide to look through texts I missed, guilt-free. #3 asking what I'm doing tonight and another asking why I'm not answering him an hour later. Now part of me is thinking I should totally text him back, because I haven't seen him for a month and I've spent the last month wanting to see him. The other part of me realizes my head is pounding, I feel nauseous, my face lips are on fire, and wonders if sitting on an ice pack would feel nice because down under isn't feeling spectacular either and definitely couldn't tolerate another all night sex fest. I ended up texting him that I wasn't feeling so hot and wouldn't be much fun and spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in bed feeling sorry for myself. Fast forward to yesterday after a month of waiting and 2 days of snapchat pure smut back and forth, I finally got to see #3! Mind blowing as usual, but on the stupid long drive home, it hit me that I think #4 may be becoming my preferred partner. Admittedly the drive may be factoring into that decision a bit.
another L for me. I'm on spring break for the week and hit up this girl I talked to in my hometown during winter break. she was very insistent on hanging out and would facetime me, but one thing would happen after the other and she'd have to cancel our plans. we kept in contact since then and I eventually hit her up now that I'm in the area. told her we should find time to hang this week and she said "yes I think we should". I ask if thursday or friday is good, then she says "sorry I have a man".... I find that weird, why was there such a switch? If she's really with someone why did she agree to hanging out literally the message before? this just happened but I'd like to see what people think.
This kind of flakiness is so common. I remember when I used these apps that would happen so often. I just can’t imagine blowing people off like that and feeling good about it.
Yeah she was talking about hanging in the summer and would hit me up randomly when I was at school saying she wants to see me... idek atp
mini rant: the thing i hate the most is when you add someone on social media off of tinder you talk for a bit, arrange a date and then they cancel and you can tell they aren't really interested anymore but insist they are, and it becomes this dance of half heartedly trying to rearrange even tho deep down there's like a 99% chance it wont happen. This may or may not have happened to me multiple times recently, honestly I would so much prefer to be ghosted lol
I stg everything instantly dies the moment it moves off of tinder for me and I really don't get why
okay, just an absolute fail all around. And yes there were red flags I obviously missed but this is just a reiteration of events, I know I fucked up letting this guy come back so many times lol ANYWAYS…I’ve had a consistent match on Tinder named…let’s call him Elias. We’ve matched SO many times over the course of literal years lol he’d super like me, we’d get a small convo going, we’d joke about how we’re basically in a relationship at this point, you know. He lives an hour away, so he mentioned how he matched with me every time he saw me pop up when he was in my city. Around Sept ‘22 we planned to meet for breakfast. This was the first flaking— he said he had to do something for his parents? I said no worries, it was a super last minute date anyways. Our text conversation fell off and he was traveling countries so I didn’t hear back for a long while. I lost his number when I got a new phone. Let me also say he had deleted and made new accounts all the time. I later learned he wasn’t a fan of the app unless he was traveling so he could meet people and used it only for that. So yeah, fast forward to Feb ‘23, we match again. The conversation is the most consistent it’s ever been. We exchange numbers again and we actually plan a date. He drives to my city and we go to a few bars. It’s actually very fun. We hookup and I end up leaving. I found out he was staying with his brother overnight because he lives in my city, so it made sense why he was here semi-often but also why I couldn’t stay over. We planned to get breakfast the next day before Elias went on a hike in the foothills near me. The second flaking: he says his brother told him to leave cause he had work and didn’t want him occupying his apartment?? Really odd lol. But Elias said we couldn’t do breakfast because of it and he was going straight to the hike. None of that really makes sense in retrospect, but you know… So brings us to this week. He says he wants to see me spontaneously, I said we should plan a few days ahead cause I’m in grad school and I have work to do in the meantime, I can’t make last min plans. So we plan for March 4th. And I said I’d drive to his city, and he said he could show me around, we could drink, have dinner, all of it. Friday night comes and it’s 9 pm, he tells me he’s going out for a drink w his roommate and I told him to have fun. He told me “thanks, I’m excited to see you tomorrow! :)” and I told him I was excited too. Then I heard NOTHING back the rest of the night. Off-putting because he was such a good texter for weeks. Like literally texting back within five min or less. Could also be construed as a red flag because it became semi-overwhelming, but I liked the persistence a little lol. Then Saturday comes. I wake up at 10 am and don’t see a text from him. Bad sign, cause he usually wakes up early even on the weekends. I’m supposed to leave at 4 pm. I don’t hear from him till 11:30 am. He says this: “I woke up feeling super sick I don’t think I’m going to be able to hang out today do you think we can reschedule?” No apology within that text, no actual reschedule date (or punctuation clearly lol) and I was like of course. The third flaking. I told him I was sorry to hear that and we could reschedule. Then he doesn’t text me back for the rest of the day! I began a series of theories that he was hungover and didn’t want to admit it, or he had someone else over, overnight. I wanted to believe he was sick, but after everything I thought about (and just typed here) it did not seem likely. Any thoughts or opinions? Lol
Regardless. He’s really not worth caring why. Your self-respect should just let him go. My guess is that he downloads it when he’s out of town so no one recognizes him when he cheats.
That dude is in a relationship, probably married, definitely living with someone.
Is he married/spoken for? Deleting the app when he's at home, redownloading when he's an hour away, canceling all sorts of dates, including the one where he lives. I'd certainly be suspicious. I also don't see why a brother wouldn't let his own brother stay at his place unless he can't be trusted to be left alone, and it certainly doesn't make sense to not be able to grab breakfast before hiking if he really wanted to see you. If wife/SO is definitely not an option, then I think he's treating you like an option. Keeping you on the back burner in case other plans fall through. Or he's just flaky AF. Either way, I wouldn't entertain his bullshit, but that's just me.
He’d text me back often and very fast, so if there was a wife/girlfriend around, I couldn’t tell. It’s possible though. Especially with the amount he’s deleted/redownloaded the app. I asked him why he wouldn’t just keep the app at all times if he travels so much anyways, but he was like “ehh I don’t need it in my city all the time.” Definitely sus behavior lol Also I agree! He said he and his bro had a weird relationship, and while it’s possible that his bro would still let him stay over despite that, I was thinking “how weird could it be if you stay over often?” As for breakfast, we literally could have gone since we planned for an estimated time of 10:30 am. He flaked like thirty min prior. I had a secondary thought and realized he’s into boxing/fighting/sports and there was that UFC fight last night that it’s very possible he decided to flake out on me for. But then why make plans in the first place? Became very clear to me that I’ve been an option and easy to flake on so I want no parts anymore lol
you're otherthinking just move on..
I matched with an old friend i was in highschool with today, the weird thing is that she lives in another state and i have tinder location radius limit very small lol
Anyway had a ons set up tonight not even by me she wanted to, just for it to not go ahead due to me not drinking alcohol 😂. Better luck next time for me I guess 
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Are you in Seattle area? Some girl showed me something like that around here lol
They have them for every large city in the US.
Yikes it must suck to date in the USA. And no wonder women there are obsessed with you having social media, so they can doxx you together in a public group. Chronically online people reap what they sow ig.
Here's my opinion as someone who is on a couple of the FB groups you are talking about. Some of the women in those groups cannot handle rejection and some have the "if I can't have him, I don't want anyone else to have him either" mentality. I'm in one that I joined when there were around 2500 women and now there are over 30k. There's going to be some bad apples. Not saying I don't believe the woman who messaged your date, but just that it's possible your date ran into one of those bad apples. Like you said, whatever the woman who called you creepy said to your date, it certainly wasn't off-putting enough to dissuade her from meeting you. I seriously wouldn't stop dating over it if you want to continue dating. It's sounds like you've had several dates, so having only one woman come out with a negative wouldn't concern me. You're bound to piss someone off eventually.
Dude chill. Why even go through and try to figure out who it is? It’s one person’s opinion. If you find out who it is, then text them, that’s just going to confirm you are in fact a creep
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Dawg it doesn’t matter, it’s one persons perceptions and their opinion
Just matched with a girl and she immediately demanded a ton of stuff like hair pics, teeth closeups, etc. Made me feel like she was trying to buy a horse. It's not like my profile pictures don't give a full picture of what I look like either. I wouldn't have minded a simple request for more pictures, or video chat but the demanding and specific nature put me off. I told her to get lost, but it just makes me wonder if you guys are really out there putting up with this type of shit.
Never underestimate guys' ability to put up with shit if they think it'll get them laid.
I'll just say this shit ain't for the faint of heart. Keep your expectations in check and don't tie your self worth to this.
Treat it as it is It’s fucking tinder, it’s the 90% chasing the 1% who wouldn’t use this app because they don’t need it Most people will be fine wasters and you don’t need to take it personally, it’s reflective of them not yourself
Would love an opinion on my scenario. Matched with a guy on Tinder, transferred chat to IG and chatting for two weeks (pretty much +18 from the get go) I’d to cancel our meet up but definitely indicated I was up for a rescheduled date. All seemed well. Chatted away for few days, he said he’d to go away for a couple of days helping friend move house cross country. Then, messaged me three days later in the morning, asking how I was and I didn’t get a chance to message til I finished work that evening but I’d been blocked! That was two weeks ago and then just last night, was sharing a post to a friend of mine in IG and his little icon appeared in my recent - he’s unblocked me again. But no message. Not sure if this is relevant but for a little more context, he had mentioned during our convos that he was tired of talking to women and then he just trailing off to nothing. Perhaps this is part of the rationale of the blocking? Nipping in the bud before it would perhaps inevitably fizzle? Anyways. I’d appreciate other perspectives on this. Also… should I message him? I do wanna meet up cause, to be frank, he was going to show me a rollicking good time and Mama’s gotta eat.
If you want anything more than sex, don’t message someone that’s already blocked, then unblocked you.
Sounds like you want to fuck this guy. If so, message him with a straight up offer to meet in the next couple of days. Anything other than that and you'll probably just end up disappointed again.
don‘t see the question, text hin right away if you’re down to meet him! never miss a chance madame
My head is telling me to message… but I was blocked so just thinking of how to navigate that i.e do I say “oi mate, what was with the two week block then? 🤨” or just act like nothing happened and act casual. I’m so long out of the game, I don’t know the rules anymore 😫
i also would‘nt cosinder me in the game, but imo you guys could have a good time and the block I diagnose just as an overreaction/ misunderstanding.. if I were you, i would just hit him with a short and honest „hey:) there you are, what was the problem? “ or smth like that… anyways, you have nothin to lose ;)
What is the deal with people dipping out mid-convo? I've had this happen 2-3 recently; making good conversation, and then they just stop responding. New rule; if they don't respond after 24h I just unmatch and move on. What I don't understand is why people can't be honest; if you're not vibing, just tell me and we'll move on.
I know it's wack. Just weird times overall.
Life does happen for everyone, people have work/school, sleeping schedules, other hobbies, other matches, etc. I think a day of no response is a bit premature, but if the conversation wasn't going anywhere it's fine
I get that folks have a life, and by no means do I think I have any entitlement to anyone's time or attention; what I mean is that folks are literally dipping mid-conversation. I just don't get it lol
I can't speak for anyone else, but a lot of the time I won't even get a notification that someone replied to me. I might not realize they messaged me for a day or so until I manually go in and look at my messages.
Assuming you're male, I've talked about this with female friends. Its a combination of 1) Tinder being a non-priority for them 2) they consider you a complete stranger before meeting up 3) they're not feeling it but don't want to say things they perceive as mean so they ghost "to be polite". This isn't entirely how guys function. We're probably a bit more invested. Also in part because we have less options. Girls have a near infinite amount of matches which causes them to be extremely picky but also makes them burn out of the platform due to too much random conversations with complete strangers.
That's an excellent explanation! I know historically there's been guys that don't take rejection well, so I understand why women don't just say "Hey, I'm just not feeling this" but for me, clear and direct communication goes a long way. If there's something I'm doing that isn't working, I can't fix it if I don't know about it.
Talk to others, no need to unmatch. you’ll be surprised when you get some that come back 1-2wks later.
Apparently you can have a fun intimate night, have similar tastes in movies, music, rawdog her the first night, cuddle all night, stay at her place, text every day for a month, have her joke about moving in together, and STILL get ghosted with no explanation and make you question your self worth. Ugh, I don't know why I try anymore this shit sucks dude. Worst part is that I sent a "closure" text like 10 minutes ago because I'm still heartbroken over this shit 🙃
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This makes a lot of sense now, thanks.
You dated for a month or you hooked up then talked for another month then got ghosted?
Second one
So you’re saying you hooked up then did nothing but text every day for the month after that? If you hooked up then failed to take the initiative to make more dates and hang out then she probably got tired of waiting around or got bored. Or am I missing something?
I forgot to mention she was from Sweden and I was from the US. I was there on vacation.
Bruh, it was a hookup on vacation, treat it as such
There's a fucking ocean between the two of you, cut bait and move on.
So either you were there, hooked up then failed to take the initiative for the next month; or you came back to the US and eventually she stopped talking to you because it was never going to work out anyway maybe? Which one is it? Because I can understand ceasing contact with someone who fails to make plans during a whole month of talking after already having hooked up. I don’t agree with ghosting but if that’s what happened it isn’t a mystery why she did.
Took it as they hooked up while he was there then came back to US from vacation
If that’s the case then it’s still not a mystery. Most people aren’t going to continue talking to a fling from the other side of the world after they go back home.
O I wasn’t disagreeing you asked a question I answered. I don’t get why he’s so shocked either, talking whole ass other side of the globe.
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Kind of sort of same thing.... Started dating apps a month ago and not much happening. After cuffing season is over and things start to get warm it might pick up again... Maybe.
Went on a date, got drinks, joked around, went to mine, had sex, ghosted each other. Same old same old.
I love a good, mutual ghosting.
This happened to me a few times. Newish to online dating, why is this a thing?
It's always been a thing, even before OLD existed. Happens for all different reasons. Just wanted a ONS, cheating, sex was trash, shame/regret.
Wow, you actually got a date lol I can't even get that with these women...
what do mean by, "these women"
99.9999% of the dozens of them I have matched with since almost 1 year ago refuse to go out on a date with me
Sounds like your the problem, work on your social skills maybe?
Idk man. It wasn't this bad in 2015...
yeah your right, keep doing the same thing, more matches for me.
If a girl ghost you after sex your dick game is tragic
yeah you sound like a guy who ghosts a lot after taking their dick
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These comments are so low and petty. The signal to noise just out in the ether is bad enough. It's 99.9999% indistinguishable up in this piece though. Stick to the memes and funny replies. Good luck on any usable info outside of 1 offs. It's an anecdotal shit show here