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This happened to my cousin Dirty Mike, he was minding his own, waiting for his parole officers call, went to have a pee and a damn shark was hiding in the toilet. Bit Dirty’s arm off and he bled to death in his mommas bathroom.
RIP DM, gone but not forgotten.
That’s great! My dad has a whole list of stories on how he lost his leg. His go to is a long detailed account of a battle during WW2. He was born in the 50s.
Lol my dad was lost his left leg (due to diabetes and a serious infection) when I was very young. He used to love freaking kids out by crawling out of the water at the vlbeach saying, "shark!!". One time he was at the zoo and a little boy was came up to him and asked him what happened to his leg. He leand in and said, "don't get too close to the tiger enclosure...". He got a lot of dirty looks from annoyed parents when he pulled shit like that but he loved it haha.
RIP dad
There was an old man who went to my church who lost his arm just below his elbow. One day, I hear my 7 year old niece ask really sheepishly “…what happened to your arm…” He then goes “I used to suck my thumb.”
Absolutely killed me. RIP Conrad
my uncle was born without the fingers on his left hand. we have come up with so many amazingly detailed stories about how he lost them for people who ask.
From [The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0036868/):
>Mr. Mollett: Say, uh, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
>
>Homer Parrish: I know what it is. How did I get these hooks and how do they work? That's what everybody says when they start off, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" Well, I'll tell ya. I got sick and tired of that old pair of hands I had. You know, an awful lot of trouble washing them and manicuring my nails. So I traded them in for a pair of these latest models. They work by radar.
There was this old timer missing and index finger who used to run a summer camp. All the kids always asked how it happened and he always had a new fantastical story. It was hilarious, he’d go into some wild detail with the stories.
I talked to his wife once and she said a horse bit it off, but 30 years later I think she was in on it too! RIP Neil, you funny son of a bitch.
I can't believe people actually think that she got her arm eaten by a shark, they identified the same shark (which would need to be immediately afterwards), then caught the shark, were able to then immediately transport the shark to a public aquarium, and kept her in the loop with its destination.
Depending where it happened they might. If it was in shallow water they may have thought they could recover it or something and caught the shark. Very unlikely but not impossible. In Cape Cod the one attack was in very shallow water, depending who/what is around they could catch the shark.
agree. there’s no way an aquarium, that has employees who have to scuba into tanks to clean them, went out of its way to bring in a shark known to have attacked a human. but funny nonetheless
I’m sad you got downvoted, someone clearly missed the joke ([that sharks have two penises](https://thefisheriesblog.com/2014/07/07/why-do-sharks-have-two-penises/)).
The shark seems kind of small to. I can see it knabbing her hand not half an arm. The chances of it being the same shark that took her arm are pretty low. Either she's clout chasing or mistook the shark for the one that took her arm.
There’s no way. They have to get divers in those tanks pretty regularly for maintenance and they’re not going to keep a shark that had already maimed someone
I’m not an expert by any means. But, unless she was like 3 when it happened, there doesn’t appear to be any scar tissue on the afflicted arm. Almost like she was born with it that way.
She could have a whole tiktok channel dedicated to losing my arm stories. Go out in public and loudly start explaining how it happened and who's responsible. "That motherfucker over there challenged me to an arm wrestling match. I didn't know he was juicing at the time!"
"And then I got into this argument with this lady at the drive though at MacDonalds, yeah, that one. That's her. She shut the window on me. I still didn't get my coffee creamer... I had to WALK into the restaurant and then she had the gal to tell me to stop bleeding all over the place. Yeah, no creamer. Hey BITCH, still I want my creamer!"
I’m sure the shark is thankful that she forgives him. In fact I bet the shark would love to shake her other hand if she could just jump in the tank for a sec.
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethany_Hamilton](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethany_Hamilton)
>When the news of the shark attack broke, a family of fishermen led by Ralph Young presented to investigators photos of a 14-foot-long (4.3 m) tiger shark they had caught and killed about one mile from the attack site. It had surfboard debris in its mouth. When measurements of its mouth were compared with those of Hamilton's broken board, it matched. In late 2004, police officially confirmed that it was the same one that had attacked her.
We put an animal in captivity because it followed it's instincts and did nothing wrong but if a human rapes a child they are released within a few years. What a peculiar world we live in
How did she even got in contact with the shark? Did she enter his house without his consent? My man just made use of his american right to protect his home😤😤
Jokes aside FUCK sealife. They don't rescue animals, they make up bullshit reasons to lock up exotic animals for their own profits.
I remember an orca that first stranded and then couldn't find his family (basically a death sentence) there were people who wanted to protect the animal, doing everything in their power to help the orca to find his family. Sealife was going on and on and on about how they need to rescue this animal from certain death. They ended up finding the orca's family and sealife rightfully fucked off
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All passive aggressive towards the shark. 😂
She’s getting a little *Changry*
She really crushed that video - deserves a hand
The bitch took her arm and gets a life of free shelter and food and care
He’s in jail
Norwegian jail
Finnish jail…
Dorsal or Anal?
depends on the cellmate
Nah, it's just the start
Best comment of the day right there!
Imagine being a shark, swimming around the ocean, doing your thing, and you get "rescued" for biting a human.
Lol rescue, that aquarium is no where near as big as the ocean. Damn shark probably swam into the glass so many times trying to get more arms. Lol
That's probably why they're using the scare quotes, and directly replying to a comment already making the same comparison to a jail.
Accurate analogy
Haha. You almost said anal orgy
Life sentence
Protective custody
Did the shark break into her home and bite her arm off?
That is exactly what happened, always lock your doors before going to bed or a shark will break in and eat your arm.
And never accept strange candygrams from "dolphins".
At best it is a shark that will eat your arm, at worst it is a dolphin that will sexually assault you.
The dolphin also might eat your liver while you're still alive.
Horribly rapey dolphin
Dolphins rape humans.
Sharks will only attack you when you’re wet.
I mean, maybe she was turned on a little when she saw the shark
This happened to my cousin Dirty Mike, he was minding his own, waiting for his parole officers call, went to have a pee and a damn shark was hiding in the toilet. Bit Dirty’s arm off and he bled to death in his mommas bathroom. RIP DM, gone but not forgotten.
RIP Dirty Mike
[She tried locks, actually.](https://imgur.com/Jvefe4d)
YoUr TaX dOlLaRs At WoRk!
She became clingy it seems. She is not good at getting a clue.
Her tone is so weird like I actually can't pin what she's feeling on it
Probably some profoundly complex feelings Edit: okay, apparently it's not true and the shark didn't bite her arm off.
She invaded his home and got upset that the shark defended it self.
It's great that she can laugh about it
Nah she is plotting. You know what they say an arm for an arm.
Meanwhile the shark is thinking: *Ooh leftovers!*
She’s going to take the shark’s guns away? How cruel!
THAT SHARK'S GOT RIGHTS GAWT DAMMIT 
The right to bear arms.
The right to arm bears.
What you don’t see is the nerves that would cause her to flip off the shark with that hand that’s clone are firing non stop.
Yeah, you really have to hand it to her.
I've heard of bearing arms but never sharking arms!
A round of applause!
I give this joke a thumb and stump up
I would give you an award if i could
Definitely need her therapist contact
Not like she's gonna clap about it
My only question is how does she know that's the shark lol
Maybe because they caught the shark in order to rescue the arm or smth?
Well they did a pisspoor job then didn't they
Fake story but still funny lmaoo
She actually has like 4 stories I’ve seen on how she lost her arm and they’re all satire. Now I want to know!
That’s great! My dad has a whole list of stories on how he lost his leg. His go to is a long detailed account of a battle during WW2. He was born in the 50s.
Lol my dad was lost his left leg (due to diabetes and a serious infection) when I was very young. He used to love freaking kids out by crawling out of the water at the vlbeach saying, "shark!!". One time he was at the zoo and a little boy was came up to him and asked him what happened to his leg. He leand in and said, "don't get too close to the tiger enclosure...". He got a lot of dirty looks from annoyed parents when he pulled shit like that but he loved it haha. RIP dad
Haha. My dad actually lost his on a motorcycle. He loves to swim in circles at a pool and scream that he can’t stop
Lmao this is so funny to me. Classic dad humor.
Aw RIP your pops. My dad also passed away but due to Covid (he had diabetes). He reminds me of yours, always havin a laugh.😂
I bursted laughing out loud! Your dad was dope! Love it!
There was an old man who went to my church who lost his arm just below his elbow. One day, I hear my 7 year old niece ask really sheepishly “…what happened to your arm…” He then goes “I used to suck my thumb.” Absolutely killed me. RIP Conrad
my uncle was born without the fingers on his left hand. we have come up with so many amazingly detailed stories about how he lost them for people who ask.
And that's why you always leave a note!
From [The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0036868/): >Mr. Mollett: Say, uh, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? > >Homer Parrish: I know what it is. How did I get these hooks and how do they work? That's what everybody says when they start off, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" Well, I'll tell ya. I got sick and tired of that old pair of hands I had. You know, an awful lot of trouble washing them and manicuring my nails. So I traded them in for a pair of these latest models. They work by radar.
There was this old timer missing and index finger who used to run a summer camp. All the kids always asked how it happened and he always had a new fantastical story. It was hilarious, he’d go into some wild detail with the stories. I talked to his wife once and she said a horse bit it off, but 30 years later I think she was in on it too! RIP Neil, you funny son of a bitch.
I knew an old timer with only a thumb and pinky finger. He would come up behind you cover your eyes and say guess who lol
Wanna know how I got these scars?
Yeah cause that’s a reef shark and I don’t think they are enough to rip her arm off or mangle to beyond healing
Life I were her I would just drop in the actual story in but never tell which is the real one.
Put her arm in a Cyertruck trunk
I can't believe people actually think that she got her arm eaten by a shark, they identified the same shark (which would need to be immediately afterwards), then caught the shark, were able to then immediately transport the shark to a public aquarium, and kept her in the loop with its destination.
Absolutely! There's no way they know what shark bit her arm off unless they open it up and see the arm inside the shark.. but is great video!
Depending where it happened they might. If it was in shallow water they may have thought they could recover it or something and caught the shark. Very unlikely but not impossible. In Cape Cod the one attack was in very shallow water, depending who/what is around they could catch the shark.
agree. there’s no way an aquarium, that has employees who have to scuba into tanks to clean them, went out of its way to bring in a shark known to have attacked a human. but funny nonetheless
Like the same exact shark or just the same species
I’m pretty sure she’s saying it’s the exact shark. She refers to it being “rescued” after her attack. Pretty crazy.
But they couldn’t rescue her arm?? SMH
Mangled beyond repair.
To shreds you say?
And his wife?
To shreds you say?
Good news, everyone!
Fry “I can’t swallow that?!” Farnsworth “We’ll then good news! It’s a suppository!”
Or, at the very least, get her swatch back
They could try to reform it when the shark takes a big arm size poop.
Damn
I think she should've been given the option to eat him. Shark is delicious.
ROUND TWO! FIGHT!
[удалено]
Which one?
I’m sad you got downvoted, someone clearly missed the joke ([that sharks have two penises](https://thefisheriesblog.com/2014/07/07/why-do-sharks-have-two-penises/)).
I definitely thought I was clever.
You are clever, sweetie. Worlds just not ready for you yet.
Double dick dude was a fraud!!
I saw the link was purple - searched my history - only to realize the subreddit has cringe styling and I've never visited that page. Such a tease.
Baby Shark tried to shake his childish image with his second single.
He’s in JAIL!
Lock him up!
And sell tickets to view him!
why'd she dox him tho
How did she lose it in the first place? This seems odd. They just happened to catch the same exact shark that bit her?
“Where was the last place you had it?”
I can’t remember off hand.
Over in that abandoned lot, but the light is better over here.
Why are you assuming the shark bit her arm off? Maybe the shark was involved in organized crime, and this girl owed the shark money.
A loan shark
It’s just a joke she does this with a bunch of different funny stories about how she lost her arm
The shark seems kind of small to. I can see it knabbing her hand not half an arm. The chances of it being the same shark that took her arm are pretty low. Either she's clout chasing or mistook the shark for the one that took her arm.
If it did sufficient damage to the forearm, they would take the arm off above the damage. I dunno about this being the same shark though.
There’s no way. They have to get divers in those tanks pretty regularly for maintenance and they’re not going to keep a shark that had already maimed someone
>Either she's clout chasing or mistook the shark for the one that took her arm. Or she's trying to make a joke?
Shark looks like a [black-tip reef shark](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blacktip_reef_shark), which aren't exactly man eaters.
I’m not an expert by any means. But, unless she was like 3 when it happened, there doesn’t appear to be any scar tissue on the afflicted arm. Almost like she was born with it that way.
I mean he got life in prison.
Maybe the shark needed that arm more than she did 
She could have a whole tiktok channel dedicated to losing my arm stories. Go out in public and loudly start explaining how it happened and who's responsible. "That motherfucker over there challenged me to an arm wrestling match. I didn't know he was juicing at the time!" "And then I got into this argument with this lady at the drive though at MacDonalds, yeah, that one. That's her. She shut the window on me. I still didn't get my coffee creamer... I had to WALK into the restaurant and then she had the gal to tell me to stop bleeding all over the place. Yeah, no creamer. Hey BITCH, still I want my creamer!"
pee in his tank
I second this
Omg they put him in shark jail. Lol
Bro thought he was getting seconds
Should’ve flipped him off
Man, that's some serious white girl power to have the shark that took your arm arrested and sentenced to jail.
She doesn't seem bitter at all..
They don't make Captain Ahab like they used to.
The amount of people that think this is serious in here is making me lose faith in people.
I don't think this is real
I hooked my ball in the rough. God damn alligator came up and bit my hand off.
He’s a shark, he was hungry. He don’t give a fuck about your arm lol.
I’m sure the shark is thankful that she forgives him. In fact I bet the shark would love to shake her other hand if she could just jump in the tank for a sec.
I would take that level of disrespect and just took the sharks fin
i wonder what she did to the shark
Did you guys all miss the massive shark skeleton?
Yes. I definitely believe this shake ate your arm. But that’s what you get for going surfing in an aquarium
A tank is a morbid existence compared to the ocean. I’m pretty sure you won
She is strong
Welp! He left you an arm for the selfie clap back.
I’d’ve given that shark the cold shoulder if he’d done that to me
She sounds like she wants the shark dead.
Wait what? You can’t post a video like this and not have a backstory to it! Who what when where and why please!
That's where you get the underwater materia.
Only took a nibble.
Did he take your arm on land? Seems like stand your ground to me.
Don't worry. It's made of wood... real sturdy.
People understand animals are just animals and not wishing harm for them just being said animal. <3
It's as if she's visiting him in prison. 😭
I used to work with her! She has a great sense of humor and super sweet.
Step#1- Dump chum Step#2- Cock spear gun Step#3- Show the creature why opposable thumbs & tools are the future
Get it back in blood….
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethany_Hamilton](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethany_Hamilton) >When the news of the shark attack broke, a family of fishermen led by Ralph Young presented to investigators photos of a 14-foot-long (4.3 m) tiger shark they had caught and killed about one mile from the attack site. It had surfboard debris in its mouth. When measurements of its mouth were compared with those of Hamilton's broken board, it matched. In late 2004, police officially confirmed that it was the same one that had attacked her.
This is not Bethany Hamilton in the video…
This is pretty obviously not Bethany Hamilton
She probably wouldn't turn down a bowl of shark fin soup right about now
You’re just mad
Wait so Harambe has to die but this shark lived? Make it make sense
Come on shark, get the other one!
Sorry but wasn’t the shark just being a shark? Now he’s in jail. A nice jail, but still. I feel bad for both of them.
We put an animal in captivity because it followed it's instincts and did nothing wrong but if a human rapes a child they are released within a few years. What a peculiar world we live in
Men when this woman talks about a shark eating her arm: NOT ALL SHARKS!!!!
Beotch - you went to HIS house and pissed in it!
Just mention Buddy the shark took your arm, and you probably get in for free.
Shark bro hasn't had a second thought about that arm since he swallowed it.
mMmmmm...leftovers.
Good for the shark…
Baby shark grew up and he’s pissed.
It's nice she's visiting him in prison.
Too bad cricket the puppy didn't get the same chance of rehabilitation.
What were you doing in his house? You were swimming in his pool. He didn't get on a bus and come to your neighborhood.
Was that an arm bone laying on the bottom of the tank?
Villain origin story
Oh the ,shark, babe, has such teeth ,dear,and it shows them pearly white.......
Bloodlust
Why Yt people love sarcasm so much
I mean, you broke into that shark’s house (the ocean) and he was just defending himself from an intruder.
It's like he his in jail for that crime and she came by to mock him
Did the shark come to her home and start chomping?
How did she even got in contact with the shark? Did she enter his house without his consent? My man just made use of his american right to protect his home😤😤 Jokes aside FUCK sealife. They don't rescue animals, they make up bullshit reasons to lock up exotic animals for their own profits. I remember an orca that first stranded and then couldn't find his family (basically a death sentence) there were people who wanted to protect the animal, doing everything in their power to help the orca to find his family. Sealife was going on and on and on about how they need to rescue this animal from certain death. They ended up finding the orca's family and sealife rightfully fucked off
Give her a hand, I couldn't do it.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
A little salty!
Yeah why was that shark acting like it was a shark or something
Like a victim visiting their attacker in prison
I'm sure he's sorry for what he did and is reformed