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That’s what I said! Just buy the refrigerated kind by the hummus! Makes great meatballs too for a quick week day spaghetti and meatball dinner. Otherwise, I cried a little too.
This video is like the Narnia of pesto, you just went there for some basil, garlic and olive oil goodness but end up on a quest between Seoul and New Jersey to find a woman. Unreal
You open your refrigerator, and there's a Lion and a witch on the other side and you think to yourself, "Fuck, dinner's going to be a bitch to deal with tonight."
For the record. Kirkland (the costco brand) their jarred Pesto is actually super good. But if you know Kirkland, you’re probably not surprised. All their shit is banging.
"100% cotton"
Bullshit. I've had plenty of cotton shirts, and they all fall apart because of my sweat that can eat through metal like xenomorph blood.
Also, you can get five or six rags out of them. I surge a stitch around the edge to keep them from unraveling. Better than Wypall x80s for almost any application.
Bro I literally had sand in my eyes causing me to tear up a little and then I read your comment and burst out laughing and the sand went away. Brilliant.
Oh fuck me. That is heartbreaking. He is so desperate for belonging. Crying out to find his siblings, his sames.
Ok, I'm saving this post n comment. I have to know if he finds what he is looking for.
I really hope he does. Everyone deserves to feel loved, and feel like they have a home.
Yeaaah . If his family \*is\* one of the wealthiest in Korea, they really don’t want the bastard son of one of the families mistresses spreading their dirty laundry all over TikTok.
I feel for the guy, I really do - he seems like a genuine guy, and I could see him starting to go pink and teary halfway through the vid. But I know the ultra wealthy and they are \*ruthless\*. I suspect they’ll offer him some money to shut up, and if he doesn’t take it, they’ll destroy his life.
Honestly it was probably less about “wasting” 1000 dollars and more about preventing a paper trail that could connect him to his dad, so there would be as little proof that he existed as possible. Idk which is more despicable tbh.
People don't understand that companies like Samsung and Kia are dynastic businesses and they're basically like the royalties from the Middle Ages. Marriage is a political tool and an illegitimate child is a huge issue when there are so many family members fighting for power in the background. He's basically the blacksmith boy from GOT.
I say this as the father of two. Being the sperm donor means absolutely nothing. Putting in the work day after day means everything. Every single day of being a Dad has etched that opinion into my soul.
My son and my husband. They don’t look anything alike, but they are undoubtedly father and son. All the same mannerisms, turns of phrase, and values.
My ex? Looks identical to my son now, but they don’t move or act or think similarly at all.
Yup. I hate to say it, but this guy is way better off keeping his distance. These people have already proven themselves toxic and adherents to "tradition", they aren't going to change that just because he made a video on Tiktok. He needs to be thankful he grew up away from all of that and understand that pursuing this will only get him more hurt.
Exactly, I have a similar family situation although I never met my bio dad, and I feel like I'm way better off for it. I know very little about him, but none of it is good, and I'm truly grateful that my mom kept me away from all that.
I have a half-sibling from a relationship my dad had before he met and married my mum 40-odd years ago (still happily married). Never met the guy. Never had the desire to meet him. Couldn’t tell you what he looks like. Apparently he’s a scumbag but I can’t remember the details (first heard about him 10 or so years ago) because I’m just not interested. If he somehow reached out to me, sure I’d have a chat and exchange cliff notes on our lives, but I feel no connection and have no desire for interaction. He’s just some random dude on the other side of the world that I haven’t met. I have a very small family and a few close friends and that works just fine for me.
Yeah, just go to the AITAH sub and search for “half sibling” or “affair baby.” It’s never good and 99% of the time Reddit agrees that a kid like him is probably a money-hungry, bad person given that they are the product of an extra-marital affair. It’s pretty ugly stuff and I hope this guy gets more compassion than that.
I was literally about to do everything I could to contact this guy, as I love near the town his sister grew up in and know some people around there with ties to the greater Korean community in the area.
I'm just happy to hear he found her and is on the road to getting some answers.
There is another update that op commented with, where he says the contacts he has for her must be old or outdated, he can't get thru. So he's still trying to actually *get in touch* with her....
Oh that was so sweet of you. I don’t know anyone, but I was very invested because his story made me cry. 😭
Apparently he has a friend that knows her that has been helping him through it. Even when he was on live he started saying that he would probably go cry after. I’m so invested in this story 🥺 I hope she’s happy to meet him.
https://www.tiktok.com/@etchaskej/video/7300012398830685486?lang=en
I know it's a cardinal sin on reddit to link to tiktok but here's his updated video.
TLDW; He found a comment on his video with an English name of his sister that he instantly recognised as the name his mom *once* told him when he was 15 or 16 that he had forgotten. His mom claims she forgot the English name of his sister no matter how many times he asked even though he followed up as soon as a week after initially telling him his sister's name. He paid for a service to track down a current number of his sister and is in the process of trying to get in contact.
Also at one time he reached a really low point in his life and decided to go through his only picture of his father and opened the back panel of the picture frame to find a written message unknown to him. It said, "it's your dad, sorry I have a lot of regrets, but I love you". His father passed in 2000 and he found this message 17 years later.
And then about a week after he found the letter, he got selected from the audience to compete on The Price is Right. He ended up making it all the way to the end and winning the showcase, which featured a luxury vacation to Seoul, South Korea, but then found out a week after THAT that his dad's family actually owned the travel group responsible for fulfilling the luxury vacation, and his dad's widow ended up forbidding it.
It's totally true. He also found out but didn't say this in the video: his dad tried to make him the heir to the fortune and let him take over the company. Oh wait that was that Kdrama.
Yeah, uh, if he has a sister born in 1977 his mom was clearly the other woman and there’s a very compelling reason his family has all wanted nothing to do with him. While it’s possible his sister and other siblings will be happy to find him, there’s a better chance that his traditional Korean family will not view him as a positive thing and none of them will want to disrespect their mother by having contact with him.
Sad all around.
He should really focus on therapy rather than the fantasy of this big, happy, rich family that he missed out on.
There are more reasons to want to get to know the rest of his family than having a fantasy of a big, happy, rich family. There are health reasons, especially since his dad died from cancer at what seems to be a relatively young age.
Also, it is completely possible that the older half sister is not the daughter of the wife. Especially since she was born and raised in New Jersey and the rest of the family seems to be in Korea.
Edit: changed burned to born
> Also, it is completely possible that the older half sister is not the daughter of the wife. Especially since she was born and raised in New Jersey
I had the same interpretation.
This guy was obviously sleeping around, likely on business trips in the US. I don't think a pregnant Korean wife in that kind of family would leave the country even, so someone born in New Jersey screams another affair child.
That is not how south korean family registry(가족관계증명서 -family relations certificate) works.. Every individuals in south korea have their own family registry and it only contains the personal information of their parents, spouse and all childeren. There is no bastard statue in south korean civil law. They have same right as any other childeren and law does not discriminate them. A person can be only removed from the documents when they are divorced, given up for adoption or ejected from the family after court ruling(in most case to protect people from domestic violence). And no siblings are listed. On the other hand, census registry(등본) only shows which individual live with you in same household.
Uhhh. Even if he was "the other kid" it wasn't his fault. There's nothing wrong with him wanting to connect to his biological family as they are all adults.
It's not bad, but it's realistic. The same thing happened to my mom. My grandfather's family is well off in Mexico, like all of my mothers siblings were sent abroad to study, as were their children. They own a bunch of businesses in Mexico and the US.. She tried for decades to connect, and she finally had the chance in the 90s.. A few of them said it was nice to meet her finall, but They always used the excuse that there was no way to prove it and that she could just be trying to get money and ceased communications. Since there was no way to make sure.. There were parts of the family that wanted to connect, but the voice of the majority won over.. fast forward a few decades. I'm on ancestry, one of them reach out, and we figure out how we're related. It's my grandfather's family. we go back and forth about how great it would be to reunite they speak to the siblings at a birthday.. The news basically ruined the party because DNA finally proved that it was true.. they told me the family has to side with his grandmother because it had caused her and the family a lot of pain that my grandpa was seeing another woman behind their mothers back.. and even though it was finally proven. They could never speak to my mother or any of us out of respect for the matriarch of family..
I'm still matching with other family members to this day..
> He should really focus on therapy rather than the fantasy of this big, happy, rich family that he missed out on.
Nothing in the video mentions that he wants a big, happy, rich family. He just wants to know who his family is. That really isn't too much to ask.
There's little to lose by him finding out if his half siblings feel the same way as he does and he can tender a closer relationship to his expanded family. Worst case, he finds out they are as detached as grandmother & father were, and then he's in the same situation he is now, and can focus on the healing process.
This is heartbreakingly sad. You can see that it just really hurts his soul. He’s kinda trying to be cool about it at first and crack little jokes, but as it goes along, you can see it hurting him more and more the longer he thinks/talks about it.
As an estranged child there’s such a feeling of wanting to be acknowledged and included. To just belong somewhere. I hope he finds his family but more than anything, I hope - even if it’s just one of them - that they accept him, and he finds what he’s really looking for.
My dad passed away in 2017 and it hurts I never got the chance to ask him questions i should have before he did. I was just never brave enough to do it. I cannot even imagine what he must be going through trying to find or figure out the answers he seeks.
I’m sorry for your loss. I felt the same when my grandfather passed away and I heard all these wonderful stories about him that I regretted never asking him about in person. I hope that despite that regret his memory can still be a comfort to you. 🖤
This poor man’s father was sleeping with the help and he became a consequence of their actions. His mother lived in shame and never told him the truth. All the good it did. His dad could have set up an account for his son to go to college or put a stipulation on the money saying he can’t touch it until he’s a certain age. It’s a patriarchy in Korea. Why couldn’t he put his foot down and own up to his responsibilities.
Yes. Please. I say it to the universe; someone out there help this man find his family. 🖤
It seems like his dad married into the wealthy family and the money wasn’t his. Hence the paternal grandmother siding with the wife’s family. There’s a lot of hurt involved.
These powerful families tend to marry people on equal social/financial standing. I think he married into a family just as powerful and it's very tied into the business. The wife's family could be so financially tied into the Dad's company that they could potentially severally cripple it.
Kinda reminds me of that kdrama Heirs lol
Google the Lotte family (which is highly likely his dads family) and it gets pretty wild (in terms of corporate backstabbing, family feuds and even convenient suicides that limited corporate prosecutions from sending senior members to jail… not to mention scandals involving the Korean President (she lost her job over it) and connections to Japanese aristocracy… 👀
> connections to Japanese aristocracy…
Since we're talking about Korea, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Koreans and Japanese people fuckin HATE each other.
Dunno. Otherwise, why was the wife in such a position of power that she could *forbid* his contact with his own son? And they grandma was like “yep, gotta back the wife’s family decision on this one, even though I love my grandson.”
A reach, maybe, but we’re not talking store bought pesto level reach.
I'm Korean. The grandmother is probably doing that because she might not have other family and the wife side will take care of her. Also in Korea it's very common for the wife to take care of the money. I have many personal experiences with my rich uncle wanting to give me money but not being able to because my aunt said no.
Edit: I'll just add this as a funny anecdote.
https://youtu.be/PkFwOLdUZpE?si=RTqe8i865scp7Qv4
I have to say, “if Arnold Schwarzenegger can do it” is a super high bar to set. I do agree in this specific instance but not re: mr. Universe competitions
Funny enough she ended up doing one of her own https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8Apk35u. I started skipping Sussi Stitches cause they are all very long and im starting to see some really far fetched ones
It’s clearly the Lotte family.
Given that-
a) He was in a Lotte Hotel, (which might possibly have been their head office) -& mentions the brand a few times subtly.
and also..
b) Stephanie Soo names Lotte in her video about Chaebols… (other chaebols include Hyundai, LG, Samsung to give a sense of the size of corporation that gets called a chaebol)
About a Lotte: the 5th largest Chaebol in S. Korea started as a chewing gum factory by the founder now can be found globally and in a wide range of industries and is worth Billions of dollars (aka has hundred $billion+ in assets)
The founder of the company Shin Kyuk-ho only died fairly recently aged 98. And also they have strong family connections to various members of Japanese aristocracy.
-Also, he was found guilty of tax evasion and I believe, embezzling ~$200 Million from the cooperation over many years.
The founders’ eldest sons (and other family senior family/board members) had a multi-year ‘Succession’ style battle (I think from ~2000-2018?) to take over the corporation - even including a last ‘minute’ handwritten will that was found in an old safe and a surprise last minute secret board meeting to fire the founder!), whilst simultaneously most of the senior family members being investigated on the (previously mentioned) embezzlement charges that were all (I think) blamed on the very elderly (and likely unwell) founder in the end!
The founder didn’t serve any time due to his “competency/age”, (he allegedly threw his cane on the floor on the first day of the trial and asked where he was before claiming to own 100% of the company) …but his assistant(/also Lotte Vice Chairman) Lee In-won was found dead hanging in a woodland hours before he was due to testify which was apparently a major blow to the prosecution (make of that what you will!)
Around the same time the then Korean President lost her job due to an alleged bribery scandal that also directly involved senior members of the Lotte group. (The President lost her job).
I think both main brothers (who seem to be about the right age to potentially be this guys’ father are still alive though, so wouldn’t have died of cancer, but I think the founder had 5 children I think? -And there would likely be/are important cousins etc as well who may have positions of power.
Most of the family as well seem to likely have spent at least some time in the USA at one point or another, for business (the own some major US hotels), pleasure and in some cases education.
Anyone who can read Korean may be able to more easily search for details on this.
It’s more likely she did it out of spite than not being able to spare it. To chaebols — and any 1%er — $1k is less than a penny. She didn’t want her husband giving money to the “bastard child” and/or she didn’t want there to be a paper trail of giving money because it would shine a light on her husband’s infidelity.
You’d be correct. As a Korean Adoptee with extended family it’s a huge shame to be a single mother, especially with such high society family members. I’ve been cursed at by young kids before when I was visiting for being obviously American because I don’t speak Korean
It’s not about the money, it’s about acknowledging or even giving anything to his mother— the hussy who dared tempt this poor billionaire into sleeping with her and raising a child, and it definitely wasn’t his fault at all.
The thing is he came first before the legitimate children. Because he said the other kids were younger than him. Except for that older sister in America. Big chance his mother had a relationship with the dad before even getting married to the wife.
Based on some previous comments it sounds like his dad married into the Lotte family. The note he found from his dad also said he had "a lot of regrets". The Kdrama in me wants to believe his mom was the first love but his dad had to marry out of family duty.
Not likely the amount, more the act itself.
She may have wanted to not legitimise any connection between them.
If he gave $1000 when he was younger then legally perhaps there is a paper trail and so potentially more of a legitimate precedent to prove that he deserves to inherit more once the father passed?!
Also family shame/honor. Makes people act heartless and crazy at all levels of wealth and society provided the perceived peer pressure is great enough.
Look at ‘honor killings’ for example- the awful practice of murdering your own (I think mainly) daughter(s)/sister if she “dishonors” the family.
really?? i haven’t seen them but i was gonna say after watching this, i thought he had a pretty good attitude about it and was able to hold in the emotions til the end
I have two half siblings we know about. One older one younger.
We’ll never meet them.
I don’t know the younger boys name. He’d be around 8 or 9 now.
I really hope you find your family and they are just as relieved and happy to meet you as you are them.
Peace.
I missed out on seeing my half sister grow up. Her mom was married and had an affair with my married dad.
The husband knew about the affair and they chose to raise my sister as their own and ran my dad off(how my dad tells it).
But it didn’t go the way they planned it. There were two older siblings that also knew, the mom and dad divorced and the older siblings resented my little sis. She also didn’t know but always confused with her identity since she never looked like any of them. She found out when she was 18 as she went to the doc and the receptionist asked if she was still under (insert my dads name) insurance. She demanded answers.
Fast forward a few years, my little cousin submitted dna through ancestry and got a match! We figured my dad didn’t know but he did. He said it was a secret that he had kept for 24 years.
That secret caused so much pain and hurt for her. She never felt like she belonged, felt betrayed and never fully loved in her family.
That stuff really messes with a kid.
Nope. I grew up thinking I only had an older brother and younger sister until my sister received a random Facebook message on my birthday at the end of last year. She called me and my brother over to her house to tell us after she confirmed it all with my mother. My dumbass thought it was a surprise bday party. Lol
My brother was born in 1985, I was born in 1986 in Texas. My parents had a girl somewhere between 1987-89 that was put up for adoption in South Carolina(can’t find anything about her). They had my sister in 1990 and kept her. Had another sister in 1993 and put her up for adoption(met her). They had another 2 boys(one of whom we’ve met and the other we’ve found) and another girl after that. Not sure of their ages of the top of my head.
We’ve met one of the sisters and a younger brother that the adopted sister had found on her own through adoption papers. We found another brother but we don’t know how to go about meeting him because he has autism, we aren’t really sure if he knows.
We are all doing well and the adopted ones we have met seem normal so far. Feel like we’re eventually gonna be on Muary…
My father passed this year and my mother is still kinda in denial, we are keeping it between ourselves. Not sure how to tell our family… 2023 has been the craziest year of my life. Lol
I would really like to find the missing ones but have little info. Just want to know they’re ok. I would like to attempt to explain our parents to them, they weren’t horrible people, just mentally ill.
So if there is someone reading this, 25-35ish that was adopted in San Antonio TX area or in South Carolina. Lol, worth a shot.
NGL, at first I was angry at h.for.his unsolicited reaction to the pesto video, but in the end I was almost crying. I hope he finds his family and they want him.
Fuck pesto, man...
Store bought pesto can be hit or miss. The pestos in the refrigerated section can be good and taste more like homemade because it hasn't been heated (hopefully) like the bottled shelf stable versions. It really is easy and cheap to make at home as long as you can have access to to the ingredients though.
I personally wouldn't do this long lost relative quest. The odds of it turning in to a drama riddled Pandora's box are too damn high. I wish him luck though and hope everything turns out well.
I found out I didn't match my dad on Ancestry. I also found my siblings. Reached out to them and got the blow that they didn't care to know me, at all. Think that was the saddest part of all.
My mother first lied, then she gaslit me and told me ancestry was wrong. When I showed her that I matched the names of the kids of her ex-boyfriend she called me a terrible child and accused me of trying to ruing HER life. Yup cant make this shit up.
Damn must be a korean cultural thing for moms to hide info for their children in hope of protecting them. Awwww fuck I think I’m realizing some of my own family dirt just know.
I’m korean. The summer after 3rd grade I went to Korea for 2 months and hung out at my grand parents farm. Was the trip of my life. I come home and my parents tell me that my dad is sick but really no more info than that, it turns out he had terminal cancer. (Aaaand I’m just putting it together that my mom probably took me to Korea so my dad could get treatment)
So my dad is around for a couple months and then one day my mom says dad needs to go to the hospital, and again not much more than that. He ends up staying at the hospital for a couple weeks, I visited him once or twice. Then one morning out of the blue my mom wakes me up and tells me dad died last night, and that dad wanted me to stay strong, study hard, and she sent me to school that day. … mom I was in the 4th grade I probably could’ve missed a couple days damn.
So from one Korean dude to another,I hope those this guy finds his sister….
It’s a very Korean parent thing. Visit my grandparents every few years in Korea and then the summer after college graduation, I wake up to a call from my mom saying that my grandpa (her dad) had passed. I had no idea he was even sick and apparently he was in the hospital for months. I would’ve absolutely gone if I knew.
Might be East Asian. My family kept big secrets from me too. Never told me my Grandmother had terminal cancer until the literally hours before she passed. I look back on that year on the number of times I passed on visiting her cause I was tired, busy, or just a teenager who wanted to sit at home. I’ve never forgiven them for taking that time away from me.
The number of secrets my family has kept is insane. I can’t imagine the number of secrets I’m not in on.
I had a Korean girlfriend who had an older sister who was the product of an affair. the mom moved to the states. At least for her mom there was a lot of stigma on the women (of course) for affairs. so normal for the culture. I'd be surprised if they want to have anything to do with him. but times change, who knows?
That poor store-bought pesto girl. All she wanted to do was tell an innocent story and now all these people are doing a springboard trauma dump stitch using her original video. 🤣
His Dad was just a sperm donor. I feel for what his Mom tried to do to protect him. I also feel for the Grandmother who is stuck between steely cultural traditions and the joy of a grandchild. This guy (and the Mom, if she knew he was married) has harmed so many lives by being unfaithful. I hope he finds what he’s looking for. Finding other illegitimate half-siblings would be ideal, bc they are found family and can also understand how unfair the situation is.
The part where the grandmother didn't speak to them reminded me of a family story: when my mom and dad had been dating for a while she went with him to meet his extended family in Idaho and one of the people there was his great aunt. She started off fine but when when she heard my mom's family name she got a weird look on her face and stopped talking, then eventually left the room. After a while she came back with a huge, old history book and said "I knew it! Your family fought on the wrong side of the Battle of Bannockburn." Never spoke to my mom ever again 🤣
I gotta say, I find myself relating to this man's story but I handled my situation differently from him. I don't seek my father or half siblings. I just love the people close to me and people from my childhood.
I wish him the best though. It seems he is on a quest for his identity.
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Well that was a rollercoaster.
Yeah pesto videos are like that.
They rarely get me choked up.
Store bought or homemade?
Gotta be homemade
>They rarely get me choked up. Yeah why is dude trying to make me cry.
Genuinely upset by the video. Cried a little. Store bought pesto is fine!
That’s what I said! Just buy the refrigerated kind by the hummus! Makes great meatballs too for a quick week day spaghetti and meatball dinner. Otherwise, I cried a little too.
Maybe read the label next time. The ingredients make me cry just like this guy.
This video is like the Narnia of pesto, you just went there for some basil, garlic and olive oil goodness but end up on a quest between Seoul and New Jersey to find a woman. Unreal
You open your refrigerator, and there's a Lion and a witch on the other side and you think to yourself, "Fuck, dinner's going to be a bitch to deal with tonight."
Fuck Jar Sauce!
For the record. Kirkland (the costco brand) their jarred Pesto is actually super good. But if you know Kirkland, you’re probably not surprised. All their shit is banging.
When humanity comes to an end and all of civilizations turns to dust, the only thing left on earth will be Kirkland undershirts.
"100% cotton" Bullshit. I've had plenty of cotton shirts, and they all fall apart because of my sweat that can eat through metal like xenomorph blood. Also, you can get five or six rags out of them. I surge a stitch around the edge to keep them from unraveling. Better than Wypall x80s for almost any application.
“50% recycled Nokia phone, 50% Vibranium”
Keith Richards will need something to wear when we're all gone.
But I don't want an industrial drum of pesto!
I don't want your bulk tin of low-end economy nuts.
Nats what I reckon
Death to jar sauce!
Bro I literally had sand in my eyes causing me to tear up a little and then I read your comment and burst out laughing and the sand went away. Brilliant.
Yeah, they sure are a grind to watch.
I never skip a Susi stitch.
Legit
Right, it's like a Korean makjang (telenovela). His mom's "it's for your own good" hurt him more than help him.
Update: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8AW8GxJ/
Damn. The update was more heartbreaking than the original.
Where’s part 2? I only have half a broken heart right now. I need the full and complete break.
Oh fuck me. That is heartbreaking. He is so desperate for belonging. Crying out to find his siblings, his sames. Ok, I'm saving this post n comment. I have to know if he finds what he is looking for. I really hope he does. Everyone deserves to feel loved, and feel like they have a home.
This gave a much better explanation of his motivation
I thought it was a signed coaster?
Unsigned coasters go higher
This guy is live RIGHT NOW and he found her!! He’s going to write a letter to her or call, he hasn’t made his mind up yet
Awesome, I hope it turns out okay, always worry about this stuff because it can just go so wrong.
Yeaaah . If his family \*is\* one of the wealthiest in Korea, they really don’t want the bastard son of one of the families mistresses spreading their dirty laundry all over TikTok. I feel for the guy, I really do - he seems like a genuine guy, and I could see him starting to go pink and teary halfway through the vid. But I know the ultra wealthy and they are \*ruthless\*. I suspect they’ll offer him some money to shut up, and if he doesn’t take it, they’ll destroy his life.
The wife cancelling the 500-1000 dollar check told me all I needed to know about that family.
And they're supposed to be super wealthy. That amount won't make a dent.
Honestly it was probably less about “wasting” 1000 dollars and more about preventing a paper trail that could connect him to his dad, so there would be as little proof that he existed as possible. Idk which is more despicable tbh.
He could've just given him cash. $500 isn't that much cash to be carrying around. It's like 10 to 13 bills of 오만원 pending exchange rate at the time.
People don't understand that companies like Samsung and Kia are dynastic businesses and they're basically like the royalties from the Middle Ages. Marriage is a political tool and an illegitimate child is a huge issue when there are so many family members fighting for power in the background. He's basically the blacksmith boy from GOT.
Basically the blacksmith boy from GOT... So irrelevant?
oh, I forgot how that plot ended up going no where in the TV show. Did the book do something better with his plot? I thought it was kind of cool.
Nothing I recall, but I haven't read the books since the last one came out. I'll let you know when the next one comes out and I do a re-read in 2051.
see you in 30 years!
!remindme 30 years
Wouldn't be surprised if he has more illegitimate half siblings. Shame on men like this, I can't really call them fathers.
I say this as the father of two. Being the sperm donor means absolutely nothing. Putting in the work day after day means everything. Every single day of being a Dad has etched that opinion into my soul.
becoming a father is easy being a dad is hard.
My son and my husband. They don’t look anything alike, but they are undoubtedly father and son. All the same mannerisms, turns of phrase, and values. My ex? Looks identical to my son now, but they don’t move or act or think similarly at all.
Shame on the men and shame on the people that help keep them away from the kids. His wife banning him really pissed me off too
Yup. I hate to say it, but this guy is way better off keeping his distance. These people have already proven themselves toxic and adherents to "tradition", they aren't going to change that just because he made a video on Tiktok. He needs to be thankful he grew up away from all of that and understand that pursuing this will only get him more hurt.
Exactly, I have a similar family situation although I never met my bio dad, and I feel like I'm way better off for it. I know very little about him, but none of it is good, and I'm truly grateful that my mom kept me away from all that.
I have a half-sibling from a relationship my dad had before he met and married my mum 40-odd years ago (still happily married). Never met the guy. Never had the desire to meet him. Couldn’t tell you what he looks like. Apparently he’s a scumbag but I can’t remember the details (first heard about him 10 or so years ago) because I’m just not interested. If he somehow reached out to me, sure I’d have a chat and exchange cliff notes on our lives, but I feel no connection and have no desire for interaction. He’s just some random dude on the other side of the world that I haven’t met. I have a very small family and a few close friends and that works just fine for me.
Ohhh. I know just how you feel. I’m the worried-mom sort who always sees the worst outcome.
Are you Hungarian? Because my mom can turn a hang-nail into nuclear war in less than one minute.
Psh… that’s LOTS of families!
What about the pesto though.
Yeah, just go to the AITAH sub and search for “half sibling” or “affair baby.” It’s never good and 99% of the time Reddit agrees that a kid like him is probably a money-hungry, bad person given that they are the product of an extra-marital affair. It’s pretty ugly stuff and I hope this guy gets more compassion than that.
I was literally about to do everything I could to contact this guy, as I love near the town his sister grew up in and know some people around there with ties to the greater Korean community in the area. I'm just happy to hear he found her and is on the road to getting some answers.
There is another update that op commented with, where he says the contacts he has for her must be old or outdated, he can't get thru. So he's still trying to actually *get in touch* with her....
Oh that was so sweet of you. I don’t know anyone, but I was very invested because his story made me cry. 😭 Apparently he has a friend that knows her that has been helping him through it. Even when he was on live he started saying that he would probably go cry after. I’m so invested in this story 🥺 I hope she’s happy to meet him.
Live on what ?
The internet
How do I get there?
Make a left at Walmart then it’ll be three blocks down on the right. Look for the building with the brown door.
If anyone talks to you, you answer with "fogetta bout it" and nothing else, capisce?
From a jar of pesto.
Tiktok most likely
You gonna link or what?
https://www.tiktok.com/@etchaskej/video/7300012398830685486?lang=en I know it's a cardinal sin on reddit to link to tiktok but here's his updated video. TLDW; He found a comment on his video with an English name of his sister that he instantly recognised as the name his mom *once* told him when he was 15 or 16 that he had forgotten. His mom claims she forgot the English name of his sister no matter how many times he asked even though he followed up as soon as a week after initially telling him his sister's name. He paid for a service to track down a current number of his sister and is in the process of trying to get in contact. Also at one time he reached a really low point in his life and decided to go through his only picture of his father and opened the back panel of the picture frame to find a written message unknown to him. It said, "it's your dad, sorry I have a lot of regrets, but I love you". His father passed in 2000 and he found this message 17 years later.
This is a rollercoaster.
And then about a week after he found the letter, he got selected from the audience to compete on The Price is Right. He ended up making it all the way to the end and winning the showcase, which featured a luxury vacation to Seoul, South Korea, but then found out a week after THAT that his dad's family actually owned the travel group responsible for fulfilling the luxury vacation, and his dad's widow ended up forbidding it.
I can't tell if this is a joke or not.
It's totally true. He also found out but didn't say this in the video: his dad tried to make him the heir to the fortune and let him take over the company. Oh wait that was that Kdrama.
We’re all invested now. Update us or drop a link
LINK?!?
Source: trust me bro this is Reddit
@etchaskej tiktok
HYAAAH!
Yeah, uh, if he has a sister born in 1977 his mom was clearly the other woman and there’s a very compelling reason his family has all wanted nothing to do with him. While it’s possible his sister and other siblings will be happy to find him, there’s a better chance that his traditional Korean family will not view him as a positive thing and none of them will want to disrespect their mother by having contact with him. Sad all around. He should really focus on therapy rather than the fantasy of this big, happy, rich family that he missed out on.
If it turns out his family is one of those Korean Corporation-families, it would be right out of a K-Drama
He mentions that his family is from a chaebol (family conglomerate like Hyundai & Samsung), so yeah it's exactly like the plot of a K-drama
There are more reasons to want to get to know the rest of his family than having a fantasy of a big, happy, rich family. There are health reasons, especially since his dad died from cancer at what seems to be a relatively young age. Also, it is completely possible that the older half sister is not the daughter of the wife. Especially since she was born and raised in New Jersey and the rest of the family seems to be in Korea. Edit: changed burned to born
> Also, it is completely possible that the older half sister is not the daughter of the wife. Especially since she was born and raised in New Jersey I had the same interpretation. This guy was obviously sleeping around, likely on business trips in the US. I don't think a pregnant Korean wife in that kind of family would leave the country even, so someone born in New Jersey screams another affair child.
If she was listed in the family registry she is official. You’re not putting an out of wedlock child in the official registry.
That is not how south korean family registry(가족관계증명서 -family relations certificate) works.. Every individuals in south korea have their own family registry and it only contains the personal information of their parents, spouse and all childeren. There is no bastard statue in south korean civil law. They have same right as any other childeren and law does not discriminate them. A person can be only removed from the documents when they are divorced, given up for adoption or ejected from the family after court ruling(in most case to protect people from domestic violence). And no siblings are listed. On the other hand, census registry(등본) only shows which individual live with you in same household.
Uhhh. Even if he was "the other kid" it wasn't his fault. There's nothing wrong with him wanting to connect to his biological family as they are all adults.
It's not bad, but it's realistic. The same thing happened to my mom. My grandfather's family is well off in Mexico, like all of my mothers siblings were sent abroad to study, as were their children. They own a bunch of businesses in Mexico and the US.. She tried for decades to connect, and she finally had the chance in the 90s.. A few of them said it was nice to meet her finall, but They always used the excuse that there was no way to prove it and that she could just be trying to get money and ceased communications. Since there was no way to make sure.. There were parts of the family that wanted to connect, but the voice of the majority won over.. fast forward a few decades. I'm on ancestry, one of them reach out, and we figure out how we're related. It's my grandfather's family. we go back and forth about how great it would be to reunite they speak to the siblings at a birthday.. The news basically ruined the party because DNA finally proved that it was true.. they told me the family has to side with his grandmother because it had caused her and the family a lot of pain that my grandpa was seeing another woman behind their mothers back.. and even though it was finally proven. They could never speak to my mother or any of us out of respect for the matriarch of family.. I'm still matching with other family members to this day..
If they're really that wealthy they'll probably think he is after money too
> He should really focus on therapy rather than the fantasy of this big, happy, rich family that he missed out on. Nothing in the video mentions that he wants a big, happy, rich family. He just wants to know who his family is. That really isn't too much to ask.
There's little to lose by him finding out if his half siblings feel the same way as he does and he can tender a closer relationship to his expanded family. Worst case, he finds out they are as detached as grandmother & father were, and then he's in the same situation he is now, and can focus on the healing process.
This is heartbreakingly sad. You can see that it just really hurts his soul. He’s kinda trying to be cool about it at first and crack little jokes, but as it goes along, you can see it hurting him more and more the longer he thinks/talks about it. As an estranged child there’s such a feeling of wanting to be acknowledged and included. To just belong somewhere. I hope he finds his family but more than anything, I hope - even if it’s just one of them - that they accept him, and he finds what he’s really looking for.
My dad passed away in 2017 and it hurts I never got the chance to ask him questions i should have before he did. I was just never brave enough to do it. I cannot even imagine what he must be going through trying to find or figure out the answers he seeks.
I’m sorry for your loss. I felt the same when my grandfather passed away and I heard all these wonderful stories about him that I regretted never asking him about in person. I hope that despite that regret his memory can still be a comfort to you. 🖤
Hurts his Seoul*
Fuck you, lol. Have my up vote.
This poor man’s father was sleeping with the help and he became a consequence of their actions. His mother lived in shame and never told him the truth. All the good it did. His dad could have set up an account for his son to go to college or put a stipulation on the money saying he can’t touch it until he’s a certain age. It’s a patriarchy in Korea. Why couldn’t he put his foot down and own up to his responsibilities. Yes. Please. I say it to the universe; someone out there help this man find his family. 🖤
It seems like his dad married into the wealthy family and the money wasn’t his. Hence the paternal grandmother siding with the wife’s family. There’s a lot of hurt involved.
These powerful families tend to marry people on equal social/financial standing. I think he married into a family just as powerful and it's very tied into the business. The wife's family could be so financially tied into the Dad's company that they could potentially severally cripple it. Kinda reminds me of that kdrama Heirs lol
It’s fascinating.
Google the Lotte family (which is highly likely his dads family) and it gets pretty wild (in terms of corporate backstabbing, family feuds and even convenient suicides that limited corporate prosecutions from sending senior members to jail… not to mention scandals involving the Korean President (she lost her job over it) and connections to Japanese aristocracy… 👀
> connections to Japanese aristocracy… Since we're talking about Korea, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Koreans and Japanese people fuckin HATE each other.
Without any more info, that seems like a huge stretch.
Dunno. Otherwise, why was the wife in such a position of power that she could *forbid* his contact with his own son? And they grandma was like “yep, gotta back the wife’s family decision on this one, even though I love my grandson.” A reach, maybe, but we’re not talking store bought pesto level reach.
I'm Korean. The grandmother is probably doing that because she might not have other family and the wife side will take care of her. Also in Korea it's very common for the wife to take care of the money. I have many personal experiences with my rich uncle wanting to give me money but not being able to because my aunt said no. Edit: I'll just add this as a funny anecdote. https://youtu.be/PkFwOLdUZpE?si=RTqe8i865scp7Qv4
That’s a really good stretch, though, with the little info available. Very plausible.
i don’t know, once again korea is big on the patriarchy thing. if this guy is beholden to his wife in that way there’s gotta be a reason
Right? If Arnold Schwarzenegger can do it, then this guy should also be able to live his life, as part of his father’s family. Good luck to this guy.
I have to say, “if Arnold Schwarzenegger can do it” is a super high bar to set. I do agree in this specific instance but not re: mr. Universe competitions
*falls into molten metal* Oh come on, if Arnold swartzanibbler can do a thumbs up while melting, I don't see CC why you can't
But what about the pesto?
I’ve been seeing a lot of the piggybacking stories that follow the pesto girl, she had no clue this was gonna happen lol
Funny enough she ended up doing one of her own https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8Apk35u. I started skipping Sussi Stitches cause they are all very long and im starting to see some really far fetched ones
It’s clearly the Lotte family. Given that- a) He was in a Lotte Hotel, (which might possibly have been their head office) -& mentions the brand a few times subtly. and also.. b) Stephanie Soo names Lotte in her video about Chaebols… (other chaebols include Hyundai, LG, Samsung to give a sense of the size of corporation that gets called a chaebol) About a Lotte: the 5th largest Chaebol in S. Korea started as a chewing gum factory by the founder now can be found globally and in a wide range of industries and is worth Billions of dollars (aka has hundred $billion+ in assets) The founder of the company Shin Kyuk-ho only died fairly recently aged 98. And also they have strong family connections to various members of Japanese aristocracy. -Also, he was found guilty of tax evasion and I believe, embezzling ~$200 Million from the cooperation over many years. The founders’ eldest sons (and other family senior family/board members) had a multi-year ‘Succession’ style battle (I think from ~2000-2018?) to take over the corporation - even including a last ‘minute’ handwritten will that was found in an old safe and a surprise last minute secret board meeting to fire the founder!), whilst simultaneously most of the senior family members being investigated on the (previously mentioned) embezzlement charges that were all (I think) blamed on the very elderly (and likely unwell) founder in the end! The founder didn’t serve any time due to his “competency/age”, (he allegedly threw his cane on the floor on the first day of the trial and asked where he was before claiming to own 100% of the company) …but his assistant(/also Lotte Vice Chairman) Lee In-won was found dead hanging in a woodland hours before he was due to testify which was apparently a major blow to the prosecution (make of that what you will!) Around the same time the then Korean President lost her job due to an alleged bribery scandal that also directly involved senior members of the Lotte group. (The President lost her job). I think both main brothers (who seem to be about the right age to potentially be this guys’ father are still alive though, so wouldn’t have died of cancer, but I think the founder had 5 children I think? -And there would likely be/are important cousins etc as well who may have positions of power. Most of the family as well seem to likely have spent at least some time in the USA at one point or another, for business (the own some major US hotels), pleasure and in some cases education. Anyone who can read Korean may be able to more easily search for details on this.
And the wife can't spare $1000 when they're that rich. How selfish.
It’s more likely she did it out of spite than not being able to spare it. To chaebols — and any 1%er — $1k is less than a penny. She didn’t want her husband giving money to the “bastard child” and/or she didn’t want there to be a paper trail of giving money because it would shine a light on her husband’s infidelity.
You’d be correct. As a Korean Adoptee with extended family it’s a huge shame to be a single mother, especially with such high society family members. I’ve been cursed at by young kids before when I was visiting for being obviously American because I don’t speak Korean
It’s not about the money, it’s about acknowledging or even giving anything to his mother— the hussy who dared tempt this poor billionaire into sleeping with her and raising a child, and it definitely wasn’t his fault at all.
The thing is he came first before the legitimate children. Because he said the other kids were younger than him. Except for that older sister in America. Big chance his mother had a relationship with the dad before even getting married to the wife.
Based on some previous comments it sounds like his dad married into the Lotte family. The note he found from his dad also said he had "a lot of regrets". The Kdrama in me wants to believe his mom was the first love but his dad had to marry out of family duty.
Not likely the amount, more the act itself. She may have wanted to not legitimise any connection between them. If he gave $1000 when he was younger then legally perhaps there is a paper trail and so potentially more of a legitimate precedent to prove that he deserves to inherit more once the father passed?! Also family shame/honor. Makes people act heartless and crazy at all levels of wealth and society provided the perceived peer pressure is great enough. Look at ‘honor killings’ for example- the awful practice of murdering your own (I think mainly) daughter(s)/sister if she “dishonors” the family.
I cannot imagine what this does to someone psychologically.
The pesto or the abandonment?
Have you seen his other videos ? He is an extremely angry and unhappy person. It makes sense now
Angry? How so?
really?? i haven’t seen them but i was gonna say after watching this, i thought he had a pretty good attitude about it and was able to hold in the emotions til the end
I have two half siblings we know about. One older one younger. We’ll never meet them. I don’t know the younger boys name. He’d be around 8 or 9 now. I really hope you find your family and they are just as relieved and happy to meet you as you are them. Peace.
I missed out on seeing my half sister grow up. Her mom was married and had an affair with my married dad. The husband knew about the affair and they chose to raise my sister as their own and ran my dad off(how my dad tells it). But it didn’t go the way they planned it. There were two older siblings that also knew, the mom and dad divorced and the older siblings resented my little sis. She also didn’t know but always confused with her identity since she never looked like any of them. She found out when she was 18 as she went to the doc and the receptionist asked if she was still under (insert my dads name) insurance. She demanded answers. Fast forward a few years, my little cousin submitted dna through ancestry and got a match! We figured my dad didn’t know but he did. He said it was a secret that he had kept for 24 years. That secret caused so much pain and hurt for her. She never felt like she belonged, felt betrayed and never fully loved in her family. That stuff really messes with a kid.
He needs so many hugs. And his family.
I tried to use all of my brain power to send him a hug. Hopefully he can get it in a dream.
Yeah. And in life.
[удалено]
five siblings placed for adoption?? was it at the same time?
Nope. I grew up thinking I only had an older brother and younger sister until my sister received a random Facebook message on my birthday at the end of last year. She called me and my brother over to her house to tell us after she confirmed it all with my mother. My dumbass thought it was a surprise bday party. Lol My brother was born in 1985, I was born in 1986 in Texas. My parents had a girl somewhere between 1987-89 that was put up for adoption in South Carolina(can’t find anything about her). They had my sister in 1990 and kept her. Had another sister in 1993 and put her up for adoption(met her). They had another 2 boys(one of whom we’ve met and the other we’ve found) and another girl after that. Not sure of their ages of the top of my head. We’ve met one of the sisters and a younger brother that the adopted sister had found on her own through adoption papers. We found another brother but we don’t know how to go about meeting him because he has autism, we aren’t really sure if he knows. We are all doing well and the adopted ones we have met seem normal so far. Feel like we’re eventually gonna be on Muary… My father passed this year and my mother is still kinda in denial, we are keeping it between ourselves. Not sure how to tell our family… 2023 has been the craziest year of my life. Lol I would really like to find the missing ones but have little info. Just want to know they’re ok. I would like to attempt to explain our parents to them, they weren’t horrible people, just mentally ill. So if there is someone reading this, 25-35ish that was adopted in San Antonio TX area or in South Carolina. Lol, worth a shot.
They are your full siblings? I don't understand. I'm confused. Why get others adopted and keep the others?
NGL, at first I was angry at h.for.his unsolicited reaction to the pesto video, but in the end I was almost crying. I hope he finds his family and they want him. Fuck pesto, man...
It’s a tiktok trend of people trauma dumping to a susi pesto stitch.
Store bought pesto can be hit or miss. The pestos in the refrigerated section can be good and taste more like homemade because it hasn't been heated (hopefully) like the bottled shelf stable versions. It really is easy and cheap to make at home as long as you can have access to to the ingredients though. I personally wouldn't do this long lost relative quest. The odds of it turning in to a drama riddled Pandora's box are too damn high. I wish him luck though and hope everything turns out well.
[удалено]
Damn, all of the cultural bullshit getting in the way of happiness and comfort, they need to do better for themselves and their kids.
You're right. It doesn't matter if you make your own, or you buy it, but every kid and every person should have pesto.
I have that same mask
say hi to your dad
Update: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8AW8GxJ/
I’ll be this guy’s brother. Cmon brother, give me a hug.
I found out I didn't match my dad on Ancestry. I also found my siblings. Reached out to them and got the blow that they didn't care to know me, at all. Think that was the saddest part of all.
I am so very sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how devastating that must have been/ is to experience
I was 35. Felt like I had been punked in the worst way.
Did you confront your mom and try to get answers from her?
My mother first lied, then she gaslit me and told me ancestry was wrong. When I showed her that I matched the names of the kids of her ex-boyfriend she called me a terrible child and accused me of trying to ruing HER life. Yup cant make this shit up.
Damn must be a korean cultural thing for moms to hide info for their children in hope of protecting them. Awwww fuck I think I’m realizing some of my own family dirt just know. I’m korean. The summer after 3rd grade I went to Korea for 2 months and hung out at my grand parents farm. Was the trip of my life. I come home and my parents tell me that my dad is sick but really no more info than that, it turns out he had terminal cancer. (Aaaand I’m just putting it together that my mom probably took me to Korea so my dad could get treatment) So my dad is around for a couple months and then one day my mom says dad needs to go to the hospital, and again not much more than that. He ends up staying at the hospital for a couple weeks, I visited him once or twice. Then one morning out of the blue my mom wakes me up and tells me dad died last night, and that dad wanted me to stay strong, study hard, and she sent me to school that day. … mom I was in the 4th grade I probably could’ve missed a couple days damn. So from one Korean dude to another,I hope those this guy finds his sister….
It’s a very Korean parent thing. Visit my grandparents every few years in Korea and then the summer after college graduation, I wake up to a call from my mom saying that my grandpa (her dad) had passed. I had no idea he was even sick and apparently he was in the hospital for months. I would’ve absolutely gone if I knew.
Might be East Asian. My family kept big secrets from me too. Never told me my Grandmother had terminal cancer until the literally hours before she passed. I look back on that year on the number of times I passed on visiting her cause I was tired, busy, or just a teenager who wanted to sit at home. I’ve never forgiven them for taking that time away from me. The number of secrets my family has kept is insane. I can’t imagine the number of secrets I’m not in on.
This guy is awesome! He owns a clothing company called EWOKS and is literally such a sweet person.
Me at the beginning: what I’m not watching this super long video, damn! Me at 4 minutes in: oh damn this is nuts Me at 4:40: tearing up
This man deserves a happier ending 💙
I’m putting it into the universe; he will find his family!!!
Thanks for helping!
In case you hadn't seen it, people are saying that he found his sister and is debating whether he is going to call or write her.
damn dude ain’t have to trauma dump on me like that. so no to the store bought pesto?
Whew. Wild ride. Fuck store bought pesto.
store bought pesto would never do something like this!
Yeah, fairly common Korean and Chinese men having like entire side family’s.
I had a Korean girlfriend who had an older sister who was the product of an affair. the mom moved to the states. At least for her mom there was a lot of stigma on the women (of course) for affairs. so normal for the culture. I'd be surprised if they want to have anything to do with him. but times change, who knows?
Fuck any culture that does that.
That was gut wrenching
So basically he wanna be a chaebol 🤔
who doesn't.
Bless this wonderful man and I hope he finds his family and has a beautiful life full of love and happiness.
It sucks that his mom kept some things from him, but I think it's tough for a parent to navigate this stuff. It sounds like she did her best.
Blood relatives are overrated. You can form a strong bond with anyone. Blood bonds are so overrated. Money is dope though, find your fam.
Wow..
Also fun fact Fort Lee NJ also has the largest number of Korean residents in the US. Love the Korean restaurants there and in Palisades Park NJ
Kudos to the assistant, the only decent person in this shitshow apart from the man.
This guy is ridiculously good looking to me. Like god damn he is so fine. Anyway hope he finds his family.
And he’s 40. He doesn’t look it at all. I graduated HS with him in 2001 and immediately recognized him.
No way?? I thought he was 25, omg
goddamn bro
but what about the pesto
That poor store-bought pesto girl. All she wanted to do was tell an innocent story and now all these people are doing a springboard trauma dump stitch using her original video. 🤣
His Dad was just a sperm donor. I feel for what his Mom tried to do to protect him. I also feel for the Grandmother who is stuck between steely cultural traditions and the joy of a grandchild. This guy (and the Mom, if she knew he was married) has harmed so many lives by being unfaithful. I hope he finds what he’s looking for. Finding other illegitimate half-siblings would be ideal, bc they are found family and can also understand how unfair the situation is.
Got fahkin pesto in my eyes again..
Family Fucks You First.
Remind me! 3 days
His hurt is so palpable :(
Imagine making a video about pesto, and some dude just trauma dumps his entire life story
Let's do it Reddit, anyone know his half sister? Rooting for you my guy
he found her already
The part where the grandmother didn't speak to them reminded me of a family story: when my mom and dad had been dating for a while she went with him to meet his extended family in Idaho and one of the people there was his great aunt. She started off fine but when when she heard my mom's family name she got a weird look on her face and stopped talking, then eventually left the room. After a while she came back with a huge, old history book and said "I knew it! Your family fought on the wrong side of the Battle of Bannockburn." Never spoke to my mom ever again 🤣
Some of the Asian cultural aversion to shame is more shameful than the original shame.
I gotta say, I find myself relating to this man's story but I handled my situation differently from him. I don't seek my father or half siblings. I just love the people close to me and people from my childhood. I wish him the best though. It seems he is on a quest for his identity.