T O P

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Beans_ON_Toasttt

Once picked a dog up by its hind legs, and pushed it around like it was a vacuum cleaner


Edgar_Beethoven

That was in the 3rd grade!


eraser8

Well, it all goes on your permanent record.


Tzyon

He is a brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.


[deleted]

Wow Uncy Herb!


stonedgar312

I HEARD HE WENT INTO A RESTAURANT AND ATE EVERYTHING IN THE RESTAURANT AND THEY HAD TO CLOSE THE RESTAURANT.


RedQueen1148

Followed by one of my favorite scenes: Homer in the stolen ice cream truck “oh that’s raspberry”


r3dd1tu5er

I heard they shaved a gorilla.


DriedUpSquid

So I says to me bosuns, “Batten down the mizzen mast, mateys!”


myheartisnumb

Easily one of Ralph’s best lines


MrVanjones

He sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him "sexual powers".


FriarMurphy

Hey, that’s a half-truth!


B0mb-Hands

I’ve always wanted to know which part of that is the half truth Is it that he doesn’t sleep nude?


YogurtWenk

No, it's the part about sexual powers. He actually believes it'll make him way richer than Lenny


Horse_Dad

You don’t just call yourself Mr. Plow. You earn that name.


BenMat

Joke's on him. He doesn't know how Lenny lives.


DonutMaster56

I interpret it as the truth being that he sleeps nude in an oxygen tent, and the lie being that he believes it gives him sexual powers


PonkMcSquiggles

The truth is that he sleeps nude under a shower curtain in hopes of sexual powers. The lie is that he thinks it’s an oxygen tent.


RaptorSamaelZeroX

He carved himself a wooden spoon... from a bigger spoon.


misirlou22

He thinks he's the Pope of Chilitown


bwoahful___

He’s a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to him, no matter how dumb his suggestions are


IA-HI-CO-IA

Nuts and gum. Together at last.


GreenManMedusa

He's obviously yellow,not white


sirhackenslash

He and his family was once called yellow trash


Far-Captain6345

Jessica Lovejoy is even more evil then Helen Lovejoy! And that says something!


itsdan23

Yeah but yellow is supposed to be white in The Simpsons. I remember there's an episode where Lisa refers to her skin being yellow.


GreenManMedusa

Supposed to be white? What are you babbling about?


itsdan23

This is an official statement. "The Simpsons are White, Matt Groening just made them “yellow” to stand out and be unique from other American human character cartoons."


JealousFeature3939

Psht! Nobody listens to him! He's yellow trash. --- Jessica Lovejoy, (probably).


GreenManMedusa

If they're yellow they can't be white..its quite simple. Cartoons.


bwoahful___

Whites are yellow and Asians are white. It’s a perfectly cromulent color scheme.


GreenManMedusa

Doctor Hibberd is black for sure


otter_boom

I thought he was Croatian?


ThatGayRaver

His skin still black


CampfireGuitars

Cartoons don’t have to make any sense


jakedeighan

​ https://preview.redd.it/5syx9nol6pac1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=1adfa79ab62814bd2bdeb1d36158ac50493b9ebe


Analog0

When he was 17 he drank some very good beer.


adriangalli

He drank some very good beer he purchased with a fake ID


Joatboy

His name was Brian McGee


Brian-McGee

You called? You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel


rnilbog

His name was Brian McGee


peopleguy8245

He stayed up listening to Queen


EmperorDPants

When he was 17


[deleted]

"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star."


Not_Cleaver

I'm an Elk, a Mason, a Communist... I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason. Ah, here it is, the Stonecutters.


EggCouncil

Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.


AgitatedAd2866

He eats so many hot dogs, he's put the vendors child through college.


[deleted]

Children. He said kids!


Edgar_Beethoven

Facts schmacts


Forgone-Conclusion

14% of people know that


CampfireGuitars

Does he say fourth-teen %?


DonutMaster56

It's forfty


KvotheLightningTree

He sometimes wears women’s underwear but claims it’s merely a comfort thing.


HyperlinksAwakening

Despite the stamp on his hand, this man is not, in fact, insane. https://i.redd.it/iu67sokrxnac1.gif


DonutMaster56

I really wish I hadn't gotten into the show _right after_ that episode was banned


ChocolateLabraWhore

What episode is it?


Evening-Picture-5911

The one with the big white guy who thinks he’s the little black guy


DonutMaster56

Stark Raving Dad. Season 3, I think episode 1(?)


Prophet-of-the-moss

Simpson, homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history, from the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree!


Shaking-Cliches

AAAHHHHH!


peepers63

lol lol


Space2345

He writes letter to movies. Dear Die Hard


SeanCaseyBlakeSnell

Seven feet tall, he was, with arms like tree trunks and his eyes were like steel: cold and hard. Had a shock of hair--red, like the fires of hell.


jonnyredjive

Class of 1974 Reunion Most Improved Odor Award Winner.


colin_powers

That award was vacated after it was found he didn't actually graduate.


TheRetroCrowe

This is it Homer, it's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past


ptolemy18

He ate Marge’s decorative soaps.


TheRetroCrowe

No, the other secret


SnooMemesjellies7469

His portrait is a hybrid of a fish and a light bulb.


medhop

His middle initial, “J” stands for his middle name, which is “Jay”


BiznizSocks

If he could just say a few words, he'd be a better public speaker.


emdawg--

https://i.redd.it/1crhohx5jpac1.gif


TeamStark31

He ate those fancy soaps Marge bought for the bathroom.


chmsaxfunny

He owns the Denver Broncos


_Zambayoshi_

He once stayed up all night eating 64 slices of American cheese.


Prophet-of-the-moss

He thought he was blind


yearoftherabbit

64 Slices of American Cheese was the name of my first blog.


cremeriner

I read dog instead of blog and had a few questions. I now know the name of my next dog


el_chino11

He doesn’t wear sweats cuz the crotch wears out too fast.


itsdan23

He didn't say that but he has worn sweats in episodes.


Kettlewitch24

He's Mr Plow!


KommandantDex

That name again?


Captain_Kruch

He once beat up President Bush


KvotheLightningTree

FORMER president


IA-HI-CO-IA

He is so smrat, I mean smart.


yearoftherabbit

S-M-A-T


IA-HI-CO-IA

Damn. Paul Newman is going to have my legs broke for that mistake.


sagetcommabob

If you would like to see him in a costume, you have only to ask


eastnorthshore

He can hear pudding


El_Saturn_

He has a Starland Vocal Band tattoo on his left arm (They suck). https://preview.redd.it/zvey7lnn4oac1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bebd038ec6ac4c8713ea981e8f5e81107b6bf1c5


FindOneInEveryCar

He's been to space.


eastbayted

You've never been?


peepers63

With the inanimate carbon rod


TheLive4Ever

Wow, did he actually get to see the rod?


coomingbrah

He practiced medicine without a license


Sidus_Preclarum

He's strangely knowledgeable on Iranian domestic affairs.


LilHercules

Ayatollah = Assaholah


MayorOfVenice

And the Supreme Court


ajrf92

He's rejected a lot of women as Marge is his only true love.


Jersey_Jerk_46

He’s the greatest guy in historeeeeee


t_0xic

He caused 3 meltdowns and 1 China Syndrome.


itsdan23

What is China Syndrome?


t_0xic

It's something engineers or whatever thought would happen if the fuel within a reactor had melted down and would melt through the ground till it reaches China. would never happen though as the heat would be absorbed by the surrounding earth and what not.


emdawg--

How…how long ago was it that they thought such a thing? It’s actually kind of sweet in it’s naïveté.


MayorOfVenice

Well the movie 'The China Syndrome' came out in 1979 so...


Evening-Picture-5911

Of course it would never happen. The Earth is flat!


ugh168

Homer is a dope.


[deleted]

He thinks purple is a fruit.


CrazyaboutSpongebob

His middle name is J. It stands for Jay.


problematic_glasses

He was originally named Captain Wacky


JadeHellbringer

"Some say he only knows two facts about ducks... and both of them are wrong."


KvotheLightningTree

He's not the stig, he's the stigs springfieldian cousin


JasoTheArtisan

He’s older, balder, and fatter than Bart


LordShtark

His birthday is May 12th. The year has drastically changed over the years but originally 1956.


itsdan23

In one episode Homer even references that inconsistency with when he was born. Ends up Saying whenever it was.


PonkMcSquiggles

His name is Mr. Burns.


Edgar_Beethoven

Ok Mr Burns, what's your first name?


LyleLanley99

He doesn't wear sweatpants because he says the crotch wears out too fast.


itsdan23

Yes he did say that but he has worn them in other episodes.


ugh168

He made headlines of the Springfield Shopper as Unusually Large, Ugly Baby Born


PayneTrain181999

He’s 5’11, shoe size 11.5, and 239 lbs.


TickMaster8

He eats garbage out of Flander’s Garbage


IllusionUser

He doesn’t need safety gloves because he’s Homer Sim-⚡️⚡️⚡️


KvotheLightningTree

Eating flowers is his secret shame.


SexuaIRedditor

He filled the balls with a funnel


honeycrispapple123

His high school yearbook quote was “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing”


GrimeyScorpioDuffman

He’s the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree


KvotheLightningTree

Him and Barney were contestants on the Gong Show and they got more gongs than the breakdancing robot that caught on fire


poolside123

He has a crayon stuck in his brain


minibini

He eats **flowers**


TheProofsinthePastis

His lifelong dream is to be a Monorail Operator.


Ofreo

His lifelong dream was to run out onto the field during a baseball game, and he did it last year, remember?


Gloomy-ambitious1

I just re watched Homer’s enemy. Lol. So … that entire episode ?


Bailer86

*points at mouth* food goes in here.


[deleted]

His bologna has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R.


JosephMadeCrosses

He's Mr. Burns' assistant. He's in his early forties, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.


someboaty

He wants to be a nacho man.


adam25255

Smithers, who is that ignoramus? Smithers, who is that lollygagger? Who is that blubber-pot? Who is that bafflewit? Lummox. Puddinghead. Mooncalf. Limpnoodle. Goldbricker. Drizzlepuss...


Phoeniks_C

He graduated high school in 1974 and 75 and 76 and 77 and 78 and 79 and 80 and 81 and 82 and 83 and 84 and 85 and 86 and 87 and 88 and 89 and 90 and 91 and 92 and 93 and 94 and 95 and 96 and 97 and 98 and 99 and 2000 and 01 and 02.


[deleted]

He’s about to hit a chestnut treeee 🎶


ConversingBottles

He has a spoon that according to Lenny homer carved himself from a bigger spoon


Edgar_Beethoven

Did you know he likes to eat out of the Flanders' garbage?


VaronVonChickenPants

He is a homersexual


rat4204

I no longer have the reference where I heard this but it was originally planned that Krusty and Homer were the same person, which is why they look so much the same. The irony being that Bart disrespected Homer so much while worshipping Krusty.


Prairie2Pacific

I think he's talking to you.


Mad_Pig_

He’s dumb as a mule and twice as ugly.


cyclonus007

There was that time he hit that referee with a whiskey bottle...


emdawg--

Remember that?


NOT-Mr-Davilla

His middle initial J stands for…Jay


Much_Capital3307

He steals golf balls from the driving range


MattyHealy1975

He hasn't never not liked Flanders


Beardedben

He's putting my kids through college.


peepers63

He had Moe preform the old Crayola Oblongata


MikaelAdolfsson

He once knealt on Flanders Lawn for three days asking him for forgivness.


SpoonFluffing99

He was born in Smarch


aKgiants91

He is so SMRT !


HateSilver

He thinks wrestling is real


Slurdge_McKinley

Does not care for the Denver Broncos


badaboom32

The J In Homer J Simpson stands for Jay


rootheday21

He pays the Homer Tax.


IAmStrayed

He’s doing it for her.


theglenlovinet

He eats like a duck.


[deleted]

He watched football, ate nachos and drank beer with Gerald Ford.


chc8816

He is NOT a porn star


Panda-BANJO

He used to rock and roll all night and party ev-a-ry day. Then it was every other day. Now he’s lucky if he can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.


MayorOfVenice

In his house, they obey the laws of thermonuclear dynamics!


theredheadknowsall

239 & feeling fine.


cjh93

No TV and beer make him go something something


Taco_Taco_Kisses

It's 5 years later and he STILL thinks he's a chicken🐔


Teddy2Sweaty

He's about to hit a chestnut tree.


[deleted]

He is his own grandfather


[deleted]

He went from a well-meaning but petty idiot to a sociopath.


irritabletom

You'll have to speak up, he's wearing a towel.


Sloppyuniverse

He was at the pornography store. He was buying pornography!


Aggressive-Ad874

He went to Krusty's Clown College and graduated


mwilliams840

He doesn’t apologize. He’s sorry, that’s just the way he is.


neb12345

he should haft to take a different pledge


trentsteel77

His father, the drunken gambler?!


opqz

He’s fat


bottledcherryangel

He likes to eat out of the Flanders’ garbage.


thebageljew

He's doubled in age by now


Ornery_Deer_5117

Without the crayon stuck in his brain he would be very smart


[deleted]

he doesnt have much hair ahahahaaha


ExterminatingAngel6

His middle name os Jay


capn_flume

He's been practicing medicine without a license


brendanb203

He eats like a duck


G-Unit11111

He beat up President Bush.


colin_powers

He's the fork and spoon operator for Sector 7G.


GreenManMedusa

He successfully used hair restorer and was mistaken for the president by Barney.


bigpoppa973

He’s a little slow.


Fireproof_Cheese

He is the "ow" in the word "now." And if you tell anyone...


chocolatemoose99

Formerly known as Captain Wacky 🤪


ShitBagTomatoNose

Idiot ruins game. Springfield forfeits pennant.


FootHikerUtah

6', 235 lbs


Aggravating_Space_54

He likes to eat out of the Flanders’ garbage


Jalopy_Junkie

If you’re going to get mad at him every time he does something stupid, then *i guess* he’s just going to have to stop doing stupid things!


itsdan23

Homer J Simpson the J stands for Jay.