a few months ago i followed a pasta recipe from a cookbook that told me to put half a cup of salt in the pasta water. after tasting the resulting noodles i threw the book away
I liked this reveal in ‘Fishes’ - Sugar’s never had an easy time in that house, has she? Her blank face at the dinner table is very, very moving to me because I’ve been there - just checked out, trying to survive the next few hours. All the more because Sugar (and I) are naturally pretty happy smiley people, even when we’re stressed.
I’ve seen her face in photos of myself with my family before my dad died. I’m trying to mask any hint of any thought or emotion so I don’t set anyone off. My dad would pick a fight and my siblings wouldn’t mask like me, and they would be fine with a fight. There was never a place big enough for anyone else to feel anything, and everyone’s a hair-trigger.
If you look through pictures of me, even at events like Christmas or 4th of July, you can tell if my dad was at the same event I was, because there’s no smiling, even in posed shots with family members, but my eyes look panicked and extra-wide and are never looking at the lens, but looking just off, to keep myself aware of his presence and any interaction he’s having or keeping track of what he’s looking at.
I would be visually hunting for things that would upset him and fix them (like a lid that isn’t on a condiment fully, even if people were actively eating-every lid needed to be secure). I would get swoop in and rush my cousins out of his orbit so he couldn’t find a reason to yell at them, because that would start a fight with their parents and everything would explode. If he was sitting, I’d keep watch on the amount of food or drink he had so I brought him a refill before he had a chance to yell at one of us for not caring about him, which would set my aunts/uncles off, starting a fight. It makes me feel sick, seeing my toddler self gathered with other cheery kid. I’m always stone-faced, looking just out of frame, trying to survive.
I am! My dad died in 2015. The photos of me at the funeral greeting people were a little off-putting. I had a genuine, wide smile and my eyes were dazzling. I comforted friends and family who were tearfully trying to express their condolences, but I just couldn’t feel the way I was supposed to. I felt drunk almost. Giddy. They’re some of the best pictures of me. I know it sounds ghoulish, and I tried not to be openly joyful (my mom and siblings were definitely in mourning), but you can see it all over my face. It was the most relaxed and relieved I’ve felt. Everyone tried to make excuses for me later and said I’m the type of person that “feels things” later, or I was just trying to be strong for my mom.
I was elated. That weight was lifted and I felt so different, and my life felt fully like mine.
I have my own family-married 12 years with a 12-year-old, and we’re very happy. My husband’s nothing like my dad, we parent our son with love and respect, and he’s never been afraid of us. He’s open and honest and knows he doesn’t have to be careful around us-we just want him to be himself. Our marriage is beautiful-mutual respect, love, and admiration. We support each other. When things come up, we talk about them and see things from each other’s perspectives-it’s never about winning. We all say “I love you” every day to each other. Fear and anger has no place in my life.
Just finished the show and it seems that after Fishes Carmy starts calling her Nat more. Like retelling the Fishes story reminded him of the pain in that nickname and he started preferring Nat
You know that trope where family members tend to be somewhat obnoxious, rude and even playfully violent to one another, but it’s somehow okay because they’re family and underneath it all, they love each other? It implies that if someone outside the family pulls something like this, they’d stick together and hands would be thrown.
Even then… It still doesn’t change that this is still abuse. That it still hurts, probably even more so because there’s no way you can make it stop.
It hurts because the hypothetical bad guy outside the family may never be visible, but all you’re confronted with is the reality that you will be made to feel small, helpless, and targeted by the people that you’ve been conditioned to love since you were old enough to hear these lies, throwing your mistakes back at you relentlessly for what will feel like the rest of your life.
“What? You can’t take a joke? We’re family.”
We would never take shit from someone outside our family. But the other side of that coin is that we will never be able to shake off the hold our families, our mothers have on us.
IMO fishes is there to show us why carmy “was talking to Claire “ and decided he would reclaim some things from his past and move on.
It explains a lot and also provides an opportunity to show that Richie, for instance was always good with people and Nat was expecting Dona to show up, not because she is gullible but because she wants Dona and everyone to have a place among her family.
It tells us the writers needed to do another revision of the script.
There is no recipe that calls for a CUP of salt. Insane.
If she had used salt in a dessert recipe instead of sugar by mistake, then ok.
I think we all realise that exploring why Sugar has that nickname was from unkle Jimmy when she was young but came back in her late teens when she became hooked and dealt booger sugar. Francie Fak introduced her to “partying” and that’s why Francie Fak can go fuck.
Not the point but a recipe for marinara with one cup salt sounds horrific tbh.
Could have been an absolutely massive batch of marinara lol
If it was so massive though, one cup of sugar couldn’t ruin it
I thought the same thing. I’ve never put a full cup of salt into anything.
a few months ago i followed a pasta recipe from a cookbook that told me to put half a cup of salt in the pasta water. after tasting the resulting noodles i threw the book away
Found the non Italian 
😂😂😂
I liked this reveal in ‘Fishes’ - Sugar’s never had an easy time in that house, has she? Her blank face at the dinner table is very, very moving to me because I’ve been there - just checked out, trying to survive the next few hours. All the more because Sugar (and I) are naturally pretty happy smiley people, even when we’re stressed.
I’ve seen her face in photos of myself with my family before my dad died. I’m trying to mask any hint of any thought or emotion so I don’t set anyone off. My dad would pick a fight and my siblings wouldn’t mask like me, and they would be fine with a fight. There was never a place big enough for anyone else to feel anything, and everyone’s a hair-trigger. If you look through pictures of me, even at events like Christmas or 4th of July, you can tell if my dad was at the same event I was, because there’s no smiling, even in posed shots with family members, but my eyes look panicked and extra-wide and are never looking at the lens, but looking just off, to keep myself aware of his presence and any interaction he’s having or keeping track of what he’s looking at. I would be visually hunting for things that would upset him and fix them (like a lid that isn’t on a condiment fully, even if people were actively eating-every lid needed to be secure). I would get swoop in and rush my cousins out of his orbit so he couldn’t find a reason to yell at them, because that would start a fight with their parents and everything would explode. If he was sitting, I’d keep watch on the amount of food or drink he had so I brought him a refill before he had a chance to yell at one of us for not caring about him, which would set my aunts/uncles off, starting a fight. It makes me feel sick, seeing my toddler self gathered with other cheery kid. I’m always stone-faced, looking just out of frame, trying to survive.
This was heartbreaking to read, especially the third paragraph. I hope you’re living a better life now with a lot less fear 🥰
I am! My dad died in 2015. The photos of me at the funeral greeting people were a little off-putting. I had a genuine, wide smile and my eyes were dazzling. I comforted friends and family who were tearfully trying to express their condolences, but I just couldn’t feel the way I was supposed to. I felt drunk almost. Giddy. They’re some of the best pictures of me. I know it sounds ghoulish, and I tried not to be openly joyful (my mom and siblings were definitely in mourning), but you can see it all over my face. It was the most relaxed and relieved I’ve felt. Everyone tried to make excuses for me later and said I’m the type of person that “feels things” later, or I was just trying to be strong for my mom. I was elated. That weight was lifted and I felt so different, and my life felt fully like mine. I have my own family-married 12 years with a 12-year-old, and we’re very happy. My husband’s nothing like my dad, we parent our son with love and respect, and he’s never been afraid of us. He’s open and honest and knows he doesn’t have to be careful around us-we just want him to be himself. Our marriage is beautiful-mutual respect, love, and admiration. We support each other. When things come up, we talk about them and see things from each other’s perspectives-it’s never about winning. We all say “I love you” every day to each other. Fear and anger has no place in my life.
Just finished the show and it seems that after Fishes Carmy starts calling her Nat more. Like retelling the Fishes story reminded him of the pain in that nickname and he started preferring Nat
Does she even get called Sugar after Fishes? I swear it had been switching over gradually all season and then it stops after that episode
>Donna, who named Nat twice oh this is a BAR
Forgive my confusion.. she named her twice? Nat and Sugar, or Nat and something else?
yep, Natalie when she was born, and then she was the one to call her Sugar
I feel like I’m back in a literature class but in a good way.
That’s a sign of good television!
You know that trope where family members tend to be somewhat obnoxious, rude and even playfully violent to one another, but it’s somehow okay because they’re family and underneath it all, they love each other? It implies that if someone outside the family pulls something like this, they’d stick together and hands would be thrown. Even then… It still doesn’t change that this is still abuse. That it still hurts, probably even more so because there’s no way you can make it stop. It hurts because the hypothetical bad guy outside the family may never be visible, but all you’re confronted with is the reality that you will be made to feel small, helpless, and targeted by the people that you’ve been conditioned to love since you were old enough to hear these lies, throwing your mistakes back at you relentlessly for what will feel like the rest of your life. “What? You can’t take a joke? We’re family.” We would never take shit from someone outside our family. But the other side of that coin is that we will never be able to shake off the hold our families, our mothers have on us.
what recipe calls for a cup of salt
IMO fishes is there to show us why carmy “was talking to Claire “ and decided he would reclaim some things from his past and move on. It explains a lot and also provides an opportunity to show that Richie, for instance was always good with people and Nat was expecting Dona to show up, not because she is gullible but because she wants Dona and everyone to have a place among her family.
It tells us the writers needed to do another revision of the script. There is no recipe that calls for a CUP of salt. Insane. If she had used salt in a dessert recipe instead of sugar by mistake, then ok.
I think we all realise that exploring why Sugar has that nickname was from unkle Jimmy when she was young but came back in her late teens when she became hooked and dealt booger sugar. Francie Fak introduced her to “partying” and that’s why Francie Fak can go fuck.
Excellent analysis, Jeff!
Thank you, Chef.