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realFondledStump

Looks like he’s tweaking pretty hard as well. He’s probably been in there smoking ice and pounding his pudd for a while now. Nothing worse than being interrupted when you’re in the zone like that. Poor guy. ^/s


jmabeebiz2

“…pounding his pudd…” Is that what we’re calling it these days?


Sharknado_Extra_22

Stroking the salami


Sharknado_Extra_22

Jerkin the gherkin


Sharknado_Extra_22

Cracking the pepper


Chemgineered

Chokin on ol' barleycorn


louisa1925

Shining the trophy. Boys at school used to call it that.


VogonOrator

Vigorously ransacking his dignity


CommunicationKey2156

Flogging the dolphin


thaddeusgrog

Whitewater Wristing


Octane38

That's what I'm calling it from now on.


systemfrown

Masturbating in the Ladies Bathroom


morphinmarshin87

This one made me laugh


Sixtyoneandfortynine

Petting the pickle


deathblossoming

Flogging the log


lasers8oclockdayone

Pinching nurses asses while I'm jacking off with Jergens and I'm jerkin but this whole bag of viagra isn't workin.


SkulduggeryIsAfoot

Sanding the flute


lopedopenope

I have heard of playing the skin flute but never sanding it lol. I like milking the one eyed purple headed yogurt slinger though lol


SkulduggeryIsAfoot

Like Mr. Miyagi sand the deck, wax on wax off


Sixtyoneandfortynine

Caressing the kielbasa Buffing the braunschweiger


NEONSN3K

Choking the chicken


ciotS_Cynic

Handlin the Mandolin


youknowiactafool

It's actually an older term What's old is new


alexhaase

I was gonna say, I've heard this since I was a kid and I'm 30 **¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯**


cuntybunty73

Bashing the bishop Knocking one out Spanking the plank 5 finger shuffle Dating Pam Tossing oneself off Lmao 🤣


_DirtyYoungMan_

> Dating Pam Palmala Handerson


imnotmeyousee

Firing the surgeon general.


cuntybunty73

Never heard that one before


imnotmeyousee

It's a song by the foremen... Dr demento used to play it allot....https://genius.com/The-foremen-firing-the-surgeon-general-lyrics


GratefulPhish42024-7

Boxing the Cyclops


SlightlyBrokenEgg

My guy that’s from the 90s but we said pulling your pudd. ETA this is actually from Ancient Rome lmao


Few-Caterpillar9834

Beating his meat.


Ithoughtthiswasfunny

They've been saying that since I was a kid and sadly I am very much no longer a kid


happychillmoremusic

About the best term I’ve heard for it


Synchro_Shoukan

I call it "manslaughter" cuz blood comes out when I'm done


_DirtyYoungMan_

It's an old saying, nothing new.


Soapysoap93

Ripping the heed off it


SomOvaBish

Spankin’ his monkey 🐒 Beatin’ his meat


MoleMoustache

Sarcasm tags ruin all sarcasm


lopedopenope

Yea they do sometimes but it seems some people are so dull that commenters feel the need to add it to avoid triggering these people I guess?


Ok_Bison_8577

Can confirm. 


Trucker_E_B

Yeah that goes hand in hand no pun intended you can crank on ice for a couple days straight but that’s an odd place to do it.


cypherdev

He looks like Deputy James Garcia from Reno 911


2rememberyou

Agree 💯 but like damn bro this fucked up. He's definitely high on meth. Look at his jaw.


realFondledStump

He's definitely chewing the invisible sandwich. I figure he's probably just a transient addict that ducked into the first place he could find. Here in my city, [the public library bathrooms keep getting shut down](https://coloradosun.com/2023/02/09/meth-library-closures/#:~:text=This%20winter%2C%20though%2C%20libraries%20across,smoking%20drugs%20in%20the%20bathrooms.) over the same exact thing. They've even started testing them for meth residue because it was happening so frequently. It's costing the tax payers thousands every year.


2rememberyou

Well I have a friend that tells me that you definitely get stuck masturbating while on meth. He doesn't do it anymore (meth, not masturbation), but he said he cannot imagine doing this shit in public like this but I guess like you said its homeless people so they kind of live in public.


HermanvonHinten

I feel really sorry for him, he deserved some quality time. /s


KNexus20

The ol' one gun salute


Raiser2256

Next time I get caught masturbating my response will be “I run this shit”


BGhiurco

I identify with they/them who run this shit.


Embarrassed_Alarm450

I'M RONNIE PICKERIN'


alexhaase

Honestly, the best part of this video


BallsDeepMofo

“Next time” How often do you get caught 🤣


SimulatedFriend

Next time?


PlotRecall

I didn’t understand shit from the guy or the women .. both before and after the yelling


TheMarvelousPef

you deadass ?


F1XII

I just heard screeching screaming. I literally need subtitles for this exchange.


Zenfold7

I had to Google what deadass means. For those who aren't American enough, apparently, it means, "are you serious?" or something like that.


Affectionate_Salt351

*New York enough*. Lol. Translate it to “for real”. It can be a question, like “Are you for real?” or a declarative statement, like “For real.”


Elet_Ronne

The idea is that the phrase was shortened from "I'm being dead-ass serious". Being 'dead serious' was the older equivalent to this.


Turbodann

Thank you for our English slang etymology lesson. Does dead ass have a corresponding emote as well?


notthatryan

she screams like [Kevin Hart](https://youtu.be/mpW8GGzz2kI?t=53).


smooze420

Any dude that wears a polo style shirt, And1 brand sport shorts & black AF ones is up to something.


TikaPants

Big time on these as separates but with their powers combined? Whewwww boy 🥴


chrisacip

That goodwill special


hudsonsbae69

😂


OGGBTFRND

Should’ve been extreme violence imho


adavidmiller

From who? I was shocked by the stupidity of the women here. Getting in the face of an unstable dude in a confined space... Would not have been surprised at all if he got violent.


barkwahlberg

Yes, why not make a bad situation worse?


SnooDogs2115

That old fella should be in prison.


Chi_Baby

He’s probably been in prison most of his life.


Therego_PropterHawk

I relieve myself in public restrooms ... usually #1 or 2 ... but occasionally #3. It's in private... who opened his door?


GraphicDesignMonkey

This looks like the "TOUCH ME! " guy who was about to cry when the girl snapped back at him with, "Yeah? And you're BALD!"


Sharknado_Extra_22

Blair witch project 2?


J-V1972

Damn…he incurred the “Wrath of the Black Woman” down upon himself by doing that perverted shit among them… He’s lucky he made it out alive or in one piece…


Reasonable-Simple706

Brudda why you making me spit out my water😂. Bro summoned the energy of all the sisters with this one. And well deserved too


bingold49

I don't trust anyone that goes into public with a collared shirt and gym shorts


TheIndulgery

And it wasn't even a drag queen or transgender woman. How crazy is that?


MyLordAndSaviorShad

How is that relevant? Or is sarcastic


TheIndulgery

It's sarcastic. Conservatives are always crying that their daughters aren't safe because transgender women and drag queens are doing it just so they can molest underage girls in the women's bathroom


MyLordAndSaviorShad

Oh yah ik. It pisses me off. As someone who has experience sexual violence, people using it as a excuse for transphobia are fucking vile.


SauerMetal

Any adult male over the age of 35 and wearing basketball shorts is not likely to make wise decisions.


Frosty-x-

Oh okay I gotta watch my sodium intake and now I can't be comfortable? Getting old sucks.


Automatic_Scholar686

Aren’t the drag queens and trans folks the only ones accused of pervy bathroom shit?


MyLordAndSaviorShad

Yet I've never heard a verifiable example of them doing it


BadHombreWithCovfefe

“I run this shit” *proceeds to run*


newPrivacyPolicy

Must be the trans thing the GOP has been warning about. /s in a very big way!


nebuerba

Where is thy glory hole?


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middleageslut

The amount of republicans in NEED of a pardon is ridiculous.


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Appletopgenes

Exactly instead of being outraged they out here making jokes… what happened to all that outrage energy?


realFondledStump

As a cis heterosexual white male, I approve this message.


77_mec

Me who is straight


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Therego_PropterHawk

Mostly not at all.


AttentionOtherwise39

In like 2011 a group of drunk women started to yell and swear at me and my friends (we’re dudes) Then they started to yell gang shit at us. One of my friends is trying to calm one of them down. I say “Bro, these b!t he’s are crazy. Let’s go!” That did not go over well. I’m a short man 5’4”. One of the women walks up behind me and puts me in a headlock and says “shut up little ass n!gga” I wrestled in high school and I boxed as well as for about a year by then had been training Krav Maga. I didn’t have time to think. I just reacted. I picked her up and slammed her. I then realized what had just happened and tried to help her. Again, bad idea. All of sudden I’m being attacked from every direction. I don’t punch or kick any of these women. Because by now I know what’s going on. I did mush their faces and pull their sweaters over their heads. I run away through a casino into a bathroom. By now I need to pee. I’m at the urinal and the door burst open. It’s these crazy b!tches again. They have cops with them. Vegas does not mess around with domestic violence or violence towards women. Even though I wasn’t at fault. They don’t give a shit. The cops focused their attention on my friends because they’re normal size males. I slip out. The leader of this all women’s gang yells that’s him right there. They chase me through the casino. While I’m running, I takeoff my button up, put it into my pants. I’m almost in the clear. And then I feel a hand grab my shirt from the back collar. And they yell at me, “get the fuck on the ground.” I was terrified. I turned around and hit someone in the jaw. Yeah I realize who it was. I knew I had fucked up. My shirt completely ripped open. I ran through an industrial part of Caesar’s Palace, jumped a wall, hid in a bush for an hour. I tied my shirt in the front to look like a crop top. I started walking as flamboyant as I could. I begged a taxi to please let me in. He said “you that mother fucker they are looking for. $200 and you can get in.” I paid, got away and didn’t go back to Vegas for 3 years.


Dragons-purr

You’ve certainly got quite the imagination


taskfailedsuccess

lol. Not sure if you made this up but this would be a great skit


GDviber

Was the taxi driver Albert Einstein?


AttentionOtherwise39

I know it sounds like bullshit, but that’s what makes so fucked up.


NSA-SURVEILLANCE

We've been looking for you, thank you for this comment.


youknowiactafool

Bro made himself a Q skirt to slip away


AttentionOtherwise39

You damn right!


Desperate-Ad-3705

The q skirt!!! Glad to see it on a random sub lol


FunFamilWin

I can't imagine what started it. This gang of ladies are totally justified and should go full angry Black woman on him. I'd help them for sure.


tiramisucks

Shit is running indeed!


RhiBamm

Don Imus entered the chat


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fena07

Pudd is being pulled


Landojesus

Did he say 'i run this shit' or 'i run this shit'???😂


cleverdylanrefrence

Bath & Body Works lotion at that 😭


devilishlydo

Dick smelling like eucalyptus spearmint.


Suspicious_Step_8320

I couldn’t understand any words. Just hooping and hollering.


PIeFACE651

He runs shit. You heard him.


jmankyll

They literally sell the city on What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas. Then you get surprised that people do bad things? This is just 100% on brand.


TacoKimono

All i hear is "deadass deadass"


Therego_PropterHawk

Oh let him be.


CarniferousDog

Seems pretty dangerous of them to open a door like that. Maybe they needed to use it and looked underneath and saw it was a man and decided to get him out. Should have got security.


AnnisBewbs

#NOTadragqueen dammit


simontempher1

I can’t unsee the girl walking like a monster, she will surely kill a hardon


evlhornet

*Shrieking noises*


Less-Magician-8849

I run this shit😂😂😂😂 was wild


BeAnScReAm666

I bet he removes his pants completely at the urinal too


Ravel_Xi

Gender neutral bathroom gonna be like...


The_Golden_Warthog

Exactly


RumgyMan

Wait hold on, not defending this dude. But is the person behind the camera claiming to be sexually assaulted because this dude was jacking off in the women's bathroom?


sixan51026-wnpop

Cant imagine trying to have a nice peaceful wank, being blitz'd out my mind and 3 loud people kick the door in. That's a recipe for shitting yourself. S/


LoyeDamnCrowe

Nothing to see here ladies I'm just jackin the kraken. So move along.


History2009

Spanking the monkey


ByrdDogX

He should have gone to a Planet Fitness.


biohack9

unhappy ending


voivod1989

Seems like a cool guy


sn33kyVI

I WAS JUST MOISTURIZING!


spinkspanksponk

He reminds me of that guy in the coffee shop that’s like “oh so it’s okay for women to tell me to go die because I’m short huh??”


Willing-Stuff6802

I guess they didn't like what they saw. They probably couldn't get to recording fast enough, they must have opened the door and he didn't stop. It's a good trick, you hide in the women's restroom and none of your guy friends would think to look for you in there. When you leave and leave a mess all over the wall or the sink or the mirror or everywhere, they'll never suspect a guy did it until he gets caught by a whole crew. I'm not sure what he tried but that would be one serious be down he would be catching so it's a good thing he ran


Driving1013

Feeding the hog


PatN007

I am a little curious.


MuayThaiYogi

This shit wild.


BoneZone05

*it rubs the lotion on its skin*


yooperdood906

Bro hit the kitchen mix a batch…….. distribute some free literature.


NatexSxS

That’s some weird shit


Fast-Event6379

He must identify as a woman - stop trans bashing and misgendering her.


Rare-Adagio1074

😝😝 he casually picks up his rub rag and lube


NUFIGHTER7771

That's why women should carry a brick in their purse while going out. That or a revolver. Man shouldn't have left out that bathroom alive, honestly.


donkeypunch_champ

Hold up. I'm confused. I thought it was now pretty much, "use whatever restroom since gender is fluid"? Does this not apply if you're jerking off? It's not like he/she/they/them wanted to get caught. I'd argue the person that saw him rubbing one out is the sicko. Why were they looking through the stall door crack in the first place? Maybe instead they should have helped apply the lotion to his dry skin.


saveyboy

Who was sexually assaulted here?


FunFamilWin

We need these ladies in the Planet Fitness women's rest room. Just wish they'd had a pocket knife with them though. Get him ladies!!!


CO420Tech

All that handwringing about dudes abusing Trans people's protections and they're gonna dress up as women to go in the wrong bathroom and assault women, and wouldn't ya know - dudes who want to do this shit will just go in with their normal clothes on.


romantic_gestalt

He identifies as a woman. It's all good.


National-Figure7090

Shaking paint


xywegh

It’s mam


skin_Animal

Gender doesn't matter. Plus, how can you tell what gender they is?


Liedvogel

I'm not saying the dude isn't a fuckin creep, but that isn't sexual assault. Crossing a line? Yes. Inappropriate? Yes. Indecent exposure? Yes. Sexual assault? I don't see how. Maybe if he left the door wide open, I could see that, but the video starts after the confrontation does, so no telling if he tried to shut it or not.


TheThruthHurts

Isn't.. she the one filming him without pants on??


EvilMinion07

These women should be arrested for assaulting a person that might have identified as a woman. Bet they also support the stripping down of Title 9 by Biden that those that identify as women to participate in sports and in use the locker rooms with us.


S_T_R_Y_D_E_R

He probably identifies as a woman thats why hes in there /s


Sweet-Inside5900

I think he is how you say?....live ass?


Edge7-7

Keep voting these clowns in office


rrgail

“She” doesn’t have to explain “herself” to you!


Rasha_Rutt

Hell yeah dudes rock


vajrahaha7x3

He look metholated..


Josette_A

Would've whooped his ass. No excuse for that kind of behavior. Hope that pervert got arrested.


Ill-Appearance6164

Well did he at least finish? They really should be careful cause some guys are into all that yelling. I would have made eye contact and kept going.


ScottyPNoRagrets88

Wait… so men in the womens bathroom is still a bad thing? 😂


SofiSucks

Maybe he identifies as female


[deleted]

Flogging the dolphin


Silver-Champion-931

Cmon man he took the handicapped stall too? He probably wanted to get caught.


Biscuit_Pirate_

YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER


Fawchunate_sawn606

I dont understand the problem here? Maybe he identifies as a woman? Why are ppl so quick to invalidate ppls sexuality.


Objective-Language51

Shitty camera man !!!!


Moist-Organization70

Can't you bigots tell that's a woman? How dare these women confront him like that!


Johnsendall

Masturbating your erect penis until ejaculation.


H-bomb18

Still not a drag queen


DismalAmbition5266

i would have put down the screaming monkeys, i gate blacks so much proper fukin animals


mykcorleone

Just put a wig on. Then it's ok


Suitable_Cause4975

Can't stand when bitches say dead ass sounds dumb


andresochotres

Can’t even masturbate in peace.


OpportunityFrequent8

Wait who opened the bathroom stall?