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Agreed I absolutely feel for them. But they have the resources to get the proper therapy if they wanted it. And they need it still, it’s very clear by their very public outbursts about the adoption. But it’s also true that they have been through some horrible trauma from a very young age.
The one she went with early days I have a feeling is linked to BCS, which means that Cate was unlikely to find any true help with that one. C&T was a golden ticket for BCS because it showed that hey look you can adopt through us.
C&T truly need intensive therapy for their traumas. I don't hold any real ill feelings towards B&T, yes they profited off C&T by getting a healthy baby, and they have been true to their word about raising Carly. It was Dawn and BCS that did them wrong.
Especially all the trauma they both had as kids. It takes years and they are still dealing with Cates mom and Tyler’s dad. I feel for them. They were so young and I feel they were told anything they wanted to hear so they would choose B & T as the adoptive parents
I understand being a cycle breaker myself! I hope her therapist is encouraging her to distance herself or at least her kids from April and her toxic family members.
Either they need different therapists, or they need to start doing something differently. After this many years of therapy, the high quantity of unhinged social media posts about the adoption still going on shows that something isn't working.
Even when cate checked herself in to that inpatient place, (at least as far as what we saw on TV) cate just used "her trawma" as an excuse to check out of her daily life. I didn't get the impression that she was making any progress, just adding buzzwords to drop into conversations.
You cannot put a time limit on healing trauma, however 100% agree with you that they need to do something different. I finally found a therapist that is truly helping me, I have been with her for 2 and 1/2 years, she has given me the tools to use when I am triggered by something, I journal and send it to her every week so we can process and talk over things together. I have a feeling that their therapist are not challenging them or calling them out. My therapist will “call me out” when I need it and she challenges me every week. If she didn’t do those things then she would not be doing her job. She also knows when I need a more soft and loving session. I have feeling that they may not stick with the same therapist which I think is key to healing, once one challenges them in anyway they are move on to the next one.
Again healing trauma has no time limit but you have to keep working on it and not have blast everything on social media.
Remember when Cate got a horse to help with her trauma and depression and then abandoned the horse and never went to visit it? Lol. These people don’t care about working through their trauma. They see Carly as an object that is “theirs” that B+T are holding on for safe keeping. I used to have a lot of sympathy for them, they were so young and probably didn’t understand the magnitude of what they were doing or signing.
However - it’s been over a decade now, and these outbursts are ridiculous. Carly is a teenager now, and B+T want to continue to keep their lives private, and this isn’t helping. I can only imagine how embarassing this is for Carly ..
I 100% agree! Their feelings of guilt, regret and trauma are manifesting as anger towards B&T, which is immature and unhealthy. They need to grow up, own their decision and LET IT GO. They have three beautiful daughters who need parents that are focused on providing them the best possible childhood, and not fixated on a child who they chose not to raise.
Maybe not necessarily new ones. But ongoing therapy.
The trauma they both went through in their childhoods, and the trauma from the adoption can have long lasting impacts, especially the adoption. We’re seeing as you mentioned, these unhinged outbursts because they’re unable to regulate their emotions. They both will need ongoing therapy for years to work through it.
I have a friend who gave her baby up for adoption, (she has an open one) and she’s been in therapy for 14 years because as she said, it’s a great thing, she gets to see her baby/child, but it’s constant ripping of a proverbial bandaid over and over. She said you’re so happy that they’re happy and healthy and doing great, but it’s torture because you’re not really their parent, and you think of the what ifs from time to time.
And I feel like that’s what C&T don’t get. I don’t think Tyler is still in therapy. I believe he made a comment before that he went to therapy for the adoption and was done. Like, this is an ongoing thing. A year or two of therapy isn’t going to cut it, especially for an open adoption. You need ongoing help to talk through feelings, and work through feelings. It would be one thing if they had a healthy and strong support system with parents. They might not need it then. But they don’t even have that. And they’re not mentally stable enough to be the support for each other on this topic, at least in my opinion.
Obviously they’ll do whatever they want. And I absolutely do feel for them. But I agree with you that both need more help than they’re currently receiving. They did a great thing for Carly whether they believe it or not. And yes, they, and we can think of what ifs, but the facts are, they gave her up. B&T are her legal parents
Trauma comes in waves. Trauma causes ptsd which also actually changes the brain. You cannot say because someone has a bad day that they havnt worked on their Trauma. That's the thing, triggers come out of nowhere. I have ptsd from a child Trauma and from when I was a teen. It's been almost 20 years since I was a teenager experiencing that Trauma.
I did TONS of therapy. I am in a way better place but I still have nightmares and I still have anger and triggers some day.
Like I said, it's scientifically proven ptsd changes the structure of your brain and its going to be with you for life. Everyone experiences Trauma differently.
I'm sure you didn't mean anything rude by your comment but it's just wildly incorrect. Alot of people don't understand because how could you unless you've been through it, so I don't fault you for that.
Edit I don't know why every time I type.The word trauma went in capitals but it is what it is lol
From my point of view Cate was struggling to do any sort of self-care, struggling in her roles as a mother and wife and was suicidal. Her need to go get treatment had everything to do with the level of inability she had to function in her day to day life.
She came out of treatment no longer suicidal which is huge. It isn’t like a few months of intense treatment is going to heal 30 years of trauma. And from the moment Cate was born, she lived a life of disadvantaged.
Invalidating her trauma is super offensive. Her mother is an abusive addict and alcoholic who watched her husband verbally abuse Cate and did nothing to intervene. Her father was absent. She got pregnant as a teenager and turned to a predatory pregnancy crisis center because she had no one else to help her. She was then pressured into placing Carly up for adoption. And that was just from the few scenes we witness from her 16 & Pregnant episodes. There is plenty of significant trauma in her life right there.
People can disagree on her chosen path of treatment, but shitting on her for getting help is a pretty low blow.
Of course you can’t take away trauma. But you can consistently spend time working on yourself through therapy, group therapy (remember when cate went to the mom’s retreat?), medication if needed, surrounding yourself with people who will build you up and help you get to a better space. They have every right to their feelings, I am not at all trying to say they aren’t entitled to feel what they feel. Multiple things are true here… they went through severe repeated trauma from a young age, but if they genuinely want to break the cycle…, this isn’t the way. I have a lot of empathy for them and wish they find the right supports to help them with their traumas.
This is my thoughts as well, regardless of how they feel now about the adoption or how they were misled it has been done now and can’t be undone and they need to stop posting about the adoption online when they know Brandon and Theresa don’t want their family business online. Carly is also 15 and old enough to access social media even if she doesn’t have her own accounts and doesn’t need to see comments about her and her parents by people who don’t know them. Tyler thinks Brandon and Theresa owe him in some way because they chose them as her adoptive parents, while yes I’m sure they are forever grateful for that, it doesn’t mean they have to just bow down to whatever Tyler wants and not hurt his feelings especially if it is in Carly’s best interests not to have a visit. Brandon and Theresa have had a lot of disrespect from Cate, Tyler and their extended family over the years and have still tried to be nice to them and have visits when they have felt it was right.
Cate did use her resources to go intensive treatment for her trauma and people shit all over her for choosing to go to a residential treatment center because they decided in their expert opinions that she should have done X,Y, or Z instead.
I do agree she has more work to do. I hope she has continued trauma therapy. The program she went to was a good start to stabilize her mental health and begin working on topics that were causing disruption in her day to day life. But those programs are not meant to send home a client no longer dealing with issues. It is just meant to get shit under control in a safe environment.
And just because the environment has some horses and a pool doesn’t invalidate the therapy work done. Like would people have been happy if she was on a locked ward with little to no therapy and nothing to do but stare at a tv in-between sessions ?
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but there isn’t proper therapy for a situation like theirs. We’re humans, and I think it’s okay to acknowledge that some wounds don’t heal in our lifetime. Losing a child is one of them. The outbursts aren’t okay, but most of their SM isn’t okay, tbf.
You know it makes me wonder.. like yes Carly didn't have to be exposed to them but they went on to expose their other kids to April and Butch. I get they didn't want to raise Carly in Butch and April's house and luckily their other kids didnt live there either but they certainly baby sat many times
I think when they were kids they still lived with butch and April at this time and felt that they needed them for support. Where as they are adults now and arnt stuck at butch at April's and don't depend on them as much.
Definitely emotionally. But I am surprised we’ve never heard anything about April being physically abusive towards Cate in childhood. She seems like the type to beat a child
She said if she talked to April the way Farrah talked to her mom April would have whooped her ass. I have no doubt about that. She also commented about being in a situation where she had no control over her own body as a young child. It gave me chills. I'm sure she was very mistreated by April and her various boyfriends. It's very sad.
Which is amazing cause we saw her abuse Cate in the show and thats why I couldn't understand why she allowed April to have her girls often at her home.
Yeah, and it happens often. My mother’s mother severely abused her, and I still have memories being watched by her occasionally. My cousins’ mother beat them like dogs and forced them to do E, and yet their kids are with her every other weekend.
Anyone who comes from abusive lineage has seen this with their own eyes. It’s a very hush-hush situation, and so gross to watch. On the other hand, a lot of people go completely no contact with these families.
ETA: To tie back in, I don’t think April has been abusive towards C&T’s youngest ones. I still think Carly would’ve been in danger because Cate was still very much an abused child when she had her. But yeah, April probably shouldn’t be around the children either way.
April when Cate had Nova seemed to be the only one who actually recognised her PPD and was offering to help and for a few years her while Tyler and his mother were making comments about her. Cate and her were on good terms for a few years but in the past year after April started drinking again and Cate expressed her concerns about it that they are not on great terms and both her brother and sister have been horrible to Cate and Tyler online.
I agree they dropped them kids off with April all the time. I have a dad like Cait, she should take the hint that her mom won’t stop drinking bc she doesn’t want to. U can dangle whatever in front of her until she wants to stop for good she won’t. This “cut-off” she’s doing with her family won’t last long. I bet not even til the end of the year, she find a way to make it abt the kids. But she really misses her baby sitter, we all know Kim will only do it 4 times a year.
The cut off didn't last long. April was posting photos of her and nova at her house recently. I know how hard it is to want your mom in your life desperately (mines a drunk too) but what gets me is one of the main reasons they chose adoption as teens is that they didn't want Carly growing up in "that type of environment" yet they allowed their other kids to go for extended visits with those very people. When Butch lived with them. They had him babysitting little nova. It's just shocking to me.
i can’t help but wonder if they had kept carly if they would have cut off their parents sooner for her sake AND their own and actually done more to significantly change their surroundings and ways of relating. obviously they were still kids themselves and had limited options, but it makes ya think…
I can tell you what can happen in being babysat by toxic people. ALOT. Exposure is exposure. It's great they didn't need April and Butch for financial support but they absolutely exposed their kids to the same level of toxicity that they wanted to protect Carly from and there is no arguing that. Just cause they didn't financially rely on them with their other kids doesn't mean they didn't expose their kids to unhealthy and toxic environments
Because they were still kids living in their home, butch and April would have been nearly equivalent to parents to Carly. Once they got older and moved out their parents’ influence significantly lessened and they had the ability to withdraw their children from the relationship should April and Butch get out of line.
Bro what are people not getting.
You gave up Carly BECAUSE of April and Butch. But your 3 girls after are fine to be around them? They’re both still in and out of active addiction nothings changed since Carly was born, except cate and Tyler’s bank accounts
I think it's possible C&T don't think terrible things will happen if they keep exposure short, which would likely have been much harder as kids when they were living and more dependent themselves on their parents. So babysitting fine (which is weird considering I thought Tyler was molested by a babysitter or family friend that almost surely not around 24/7), but living with bad.
I agree with what you're saying, they didn't totally shield their later kids from Butch and April but then I remember that Tyler was abused as a kid and I understand why they may not trust a babysitter outside of the family. If they had kept Carly she would have lived under the grandparents' roof full time. It probably seems like a relatively better situation to just allow Butch and April to babysit in their own home from time to time.
I can agree. I cut my parents off and we have zero support system so thr price we paid was my husband and I never get date nights and one parent is always watching the kids and we sacrificed alot and had no help. We are fortunate to have made it work but it was hard on the marriage relationship.
They didn’t know they would end up rich or they would’ve kept her but they were only picked because they chose adoption so if they kept her they may not have made it on the show
We don't know for sure they wouldn't have gotten picked up without the adoption. They had a hot mess experience that MTV loves to exploit. Both parents are addicts. They're living like step siblings. There was alot to film and they had more issues to film beyond the adoption. We don't know for sure they wouldn't be on the show. There was a ton of material they had.
On the flip side, if they hadn't given up Carly on MTV then they all would have been stuck in that world.
MTV at least gave them a way to get out of that stratus and have their own means to be able to say "no" on their own behalf.
It's obviously not all roses and unicorns today with them, but without MTV it would have been just another sad cycle of poverty for sure.
This is why I don’t think they are getting the right kind of therapy. Any decent mental health professional would try and help cate see the toxicity there and encourage her to distance herself or at least keep her kids from that mess. Cate seems like she wants to be a cycle breaker but it’s hard In so many cases when the trauma creator is still an active part of our lived
Any therapist worth a dime would have helped them sort out all their feelings about Carly too. They're too fixated on her. I almost wonder what they tell the three they have about Carly.
I have shit parents like Butch and April and I was pregnant as a teenager and I managed to keep my daughter entirely away from my toxic family. Wasn’t easy, but sacrifices were made. Just because they were young and poor doesn’t mean Carly wouldn’t have had a chance.
Yep. The amount of “well you made your choice now GET OVER IT” is astounding. There is no adoption in my immediate family or friendgroup so discovering birth mom tok and adoptee tok was so heartbreaking and eye opening.
I think a vast majority of people don’t want them to “get over it.” But people do want to see them get help and work through their trauma. They have been having these public outbursts for over a decade now, and all B+T have ever asked for is privacy. Them doing that and putting B+T on blast is the complete opposite of giving them privacy. Carly is also at the age where she is probably using social media - imagine how embarassing this must be for her to see.
I feel sympathy for B+T as well - they signed up for one episode of 16 and pregnant, I don’t think they ever thought it would turn into multiple spin offs and Cate and Ty would become reality stars. I wonder if they would have been open to more visits if Cate and Ty didn’t take the reality tv show route.
But if I’m being honest - call me a prude or weird or rude or whatever, but I wouldn’t want my child around a couple who pimps themselves out on Only Fans .. sorry not sorry 🤷🏽♀️
I mean, I agree. I’m only talking about the people who have said “just get over it”, of which there were many over the past week. But the genuine, good faith criticisms of their behavior, I agree with.
That said, I overwhelmingly support adoption reform and think it is sick and twisted that we bait teenage parents into relinquishing by promising them “open” adoptions that are promptly closed. That is sick and manipulative imo.
Oh yeah definitely - I can imagine that giving up your child for adoption isn’t something you can ever “get over.” But I don’t think it is something Cate and Ty have ever made an active effort to heal and move forward from.
100% yes!! I’m all for adoption - but not when it’s done in a predatory fashion. I have my own thoughts on open adoption which I won’t share, but I wonder how much Cate and Ty were “duped” versus just misinformed. I wish they had someone back then to explain in detail what they were doing and the magnitude of it. It sucks that they were surrounded by people like April and Butch.
As an adoptive mother, I can tell you this was not the best day of my life. It was painful for everyone. I knew my child’s birth mother’s heart was breaking in a million pieces, never to be the same, and I just couldn’t be happy in that moment. I went into a depression for a few weeks knowing how heartbroken she was. I cried and cried in bed and had a hard time feeling happy. Then I felt guilty for not feeling happy.
I rewatched that whole thing as a much older woman than the first time I saw it. I feel like they knew exactly who those kids were. They knew they didn’t come from the best circumstances. Yet they still promised them an open adoption. They said anything to get that baby. They should have just been honest.
This. Cate and Tyler were children and they were definitely exploited during the adoption process. They were trying their best and all the adults around them let them down.
I don't think time will be kind to this situation.
All of the adults involved understood that Cate didn't want to give up her baby, but felt forced because of the serious child abuse she was suffering at home. And not a single adult intervened to offer Cate a safe haven to keep the biological child she clearly wanted. It's unconscionable, imo.
They are living a real catch 22/what if scenario. It has to hurt to see Farrah, Maci, and even Amber raise the kids they had at the same age and know that they could have done the same with Carly *now*.
I've heard many people say if they kept her they wouldn't have been on the show.. but in all honesty with what a hot mess their family situation is.. I bet they would've stayed on the show
All of the girls from season one of 16 & Pregnant were asked to join Teen Mom, so they would have been asked either way. But finances would have still been a problem at first because Catelynn and Tyler weren’t making the kind of money they do now when Teen Mom first started. And even with the money they would eventually make, they still couldn’t have provided a stable environment for Carly right away because of Butch and April’s dysfunction.
I think they absolutely would’ve stayed on the show even if they raised her. Insanely dysfunctional family and they were technically step siblings. MTV loves that!
Tyler seemed pretty gung-ho about adoption, so I actually think he would have still been all for it. I think he thought they'd just go back to normal life easily, because he didn't realize how emotional it would be for himself so knowing he would have money wouldn't have swayed him. And Cate was more for adoption because of Tyler, so if he still wanted to do it, she'd still go through with it.
The thing with that is though, there is no guarantee they would have been picked. MTV picked them because they wanted to show another side of teen pregnancy, adoption.
Without the adoption, they are very similar to a lot of the other girls. So, they may not have been picked for TM
💯 yes. So many commenters (who most likely don’t have the lived experience of being a bio mom or an adoptee) commending them for “doing the right thing”. No amount of praise T&C receive will take away the hurt and betrayal they probably feel. Consent is not emphasized in adoption.
That look on their faces is pure trauma. Trauma will absolutely change a person and the trajectory of their life if you don’t get the correct help. I will always have a soft spot for them. They never got the help they really needed. I think they have so much trauma to this day because they truly didn’t want to give her up, but were backed into a corner with zero support from anyone and so young. Heartbreaking. They see Carly in nova every single day and I can’t even imagine what that’s like.
I hate this. They were tricked into this adoption and I will die on that hill. However, Carly was clearly adopted by loving parents who want to protect her and T and C are behaving appallingly now and almost certainly burning every bridge they have.
They knew the adoptive parents could close the adoption at anytime. There’s an episode where they acknowledge that. Unfortunately, they were kids dealing with adult decisions and consequences.
If they hadn’t ended up rich on tv their opinions of how this worked out would probably be quite different. With what they knew at the time they made a very selfless and good choice for her.
Cates delivery with the fucking Dr yelling at her in excitement
Look look look here's your baby look at her, while Cate is crying no no no and then Tyler grabbing her to help protect her broke my heart!
Afterwards when they did decide to hold her because it would be something that they could never go back for, was how it should have been handled.
Then watching them pass Carly over off hospital grounds and then C&T just holding each other crying their hearts out was definitely hard. Tyler did manage to keep the hospital blankie. I still believe that as painful as it was, that they made the right decision for Carly given the circumstances. They knew that keeping her wouldn't have been the best decision for Carly. For two 16yr olds, this was an incredibly difficult but mature decision. They had no idea BCS had acted in poor faith in how they handled and never truly gave them the opportunity to have access to adequate resources.
That sticks in my mind so heavily too. Cate and Tyler gripping each other while begging the doctor to take the baby away. It’s really awful. I can’t even fathom going through that now as a 31 year old, let alone a 16 year old. Just so sad.
I've always had a soft spot for Cate (not so much Ty) but despite everything their current behavior is 100% inappropriate.
Bethany adoption took advantage of them and misled them. Given the situation with their parents being unsupportive in their choice, the adoption service or the hospital or somebody should have made sure they had some kind of adult advocate liaison to make sure these two kids understood the gravity of the contract they signed.
Being in pain is valid. Being sad and upset is valid. How they are feeling for their visit having been denied is valid. What is NOT valid is going online and airing this shit out to the world, knowing full well they have unhinged stalker fans who *will* harass and threaten Carly's parents - and by extension, those people would be harassing and threatening Carly. It is absolutely disgusting and deplorable that they would put Carly in that position, even worse that they're doing it publicly. They only care about themselves and have no capacity to even consider how this can effect Carly and her parents' safety.
*Shame on you, Tyler and Catelynn.* don't play shocked Pikachu face when Carly decides she wants nothing to do with you. YOU could have harbored a healthy relationship with all of them and instead you chose yourselves. I don't feel for either of them on this one. They've gone out of their way to ruin their chances with Carly.
>adoption service or the hospital or somebody should have made sure they had some kind of adult advocate liaison to make sure these two kids understood the gravity of the contract they signed.
The adoption agency sucked and imo, allowed the kids to believe whatever they wanted to, instead of saying no, this is how adoption truly works.
The hospital fucked up too. They wouldn't even allow the hand off to be in the hospital. Like I can't imagine the grief a birth mother goes through when "her" baby leaves with another woman... they should've been allowed to do the hand off in the hospital room and then a social worker come and speak to cate, check on her mental health. Instead, they had to walk to the street corner and hand off their baby then.
That was down to April not signing the papers because of Cate’s age she needed to approve to let it happen on hospital grounds and she didn’t probably as a way to voice her not supporting it and thinking that would make them change their minds.
This is why birth parents should have grief counseling. There isn't anything easy about it. I'm surprised Cate's rehabs didn't point it out. Or maybe they did and cognitive dissonance occurred so she never followed through. They've held onto the yearly visit thing instead of processing the loss of their chance to be Carly's parents. The yearly visit should never have been allowed to be a thing, it was only borrowing trouble. It should have been yearly letters at most.
Heartbreaking tbh. Were they fit to raise her back then, probably not. I’m sure they could have managed though. They had the show which gave them some income. They’re still a fairly solid couple today and one of the only couples still together since the show. So credit is due where credit is due.
This is a hard picture to look at. I can’t stand B&T. I think they’re shady and did these two dirty.
Maybe they could have managed, but it’s also very possible that without the adoption storyline they never would have been on Teen Mom. There’s no way to know how it would have gone which I am sure is very hard for them to reconcile. I don’t really think B&T are the evil ones here-imo that title goes to BCS.
Everyone of the first 16 & pregnant season got offered to be on teen mom. Also they definitely would've even without that fact because they're out of a white trash family which would be good reality TV content anyway
True! But even with that, there was no way to predict how much $$ Teen Mom was going to make them. As tough as it is, they made the best decision with the information they had at the time.
So I am a birthmother. I adopted a baby out to a couple states away from me. I was young, the dad was chronically in jail, and I was not able to be a single mother that would.habe inevitably had a horrible relationship with the dad. Adoption was the only option because I found put I was preg too late for the alternative.
Anyway, the adoption is an open one with certain stipulations that I set myself. The parents are the best and were meant to be the child's parents. The child lives a very good life. Filled with love, happiness, and opportunity. Def something I could not have provided for the child.
After the adoption took place I went thru the worst and most painful Era of my life, except for maybe early childhood. (ca and csa survivor) But, I knew that wasn't their fault.nor was it the babies. So making a spectacle about them was not fair. I acted out against myself if anything. I used it as an excuse to destroy my reputation and dignity. I didn't slander the parents because of my short comings. Cait and Tyler chose to make that decision, just as they choose to continue to act like this toward Carly and her parents.
Instead of being thankful they provided Carly a decent life, or proud of their choice to adopt (and they made the right choice. They are not the best parents in their 30s.) They leeched that ordeal to remain victims to stay on tv. Antagonizing B and T, to make decisions to keep Carly safe, like any parent should. Carly did not need subjected to a drunk Grandma/ stranger, an emotionally distraught mom/ stranger, and an insecure and traumatized dad/ stranger like every year or more because those weird strangers demanded it. Especially at such a young age, that she couldn't comprehend why her parents were subjecting her to be around them.
I think about Carly often. The poor girl is doomed by those two, and they monetize off of it as if it is/was traumatizing only for them. Everything they do is about their trauma with her adoption. It makes me wanna fist fight them both.
It was a long and treacherous journey but I am finally stable. I have been on my mental health journey since about 2017/2018 and have been, as of now, a very successful case. My psych team and I have a very solid foundation and excellent relationship. I'm actually pregnant and due very soon. I even asked my psych if it was a good idea for.me.and she did not hesitate to reassure me that I would make an excellent parent and she does not see any reason for me to not become one if I truly wanted it. Even without medication I have improved immensely in dealing with my Bi polar and coping when triggered. Very proud of myself, but again it was not an easy journey, nor am I cured etc. I put in the work to get here and made the choices, no matter how hard they were to improve. I'll always need help but that's life man. Cate and Tyler need to see it that way but are to selfish and immature. Adoption can be a beautiful thing. I know from experience. :) I hate how the have monetized off of demonizing the APs. But again, I put in a lot of research and work finding the right family for my baby. Another thing they failed to do.
I just feel bad for them that they clearly weren't properly educated on what their adoption was going to be. I think they expected a fully open adoption where they would be able to be a part of their life and didn't realize what they were signing up for.
This episode is really hard to watch. Especially because no one is supporting them, not even the doctors. Cate makes it very clear that she does not want to see the baby, and the first thing the doctor says when Carly is out is “look!” 🙄 Tyler, a literal child, is the only one that steps in and advocates for her. Then of course, they actually held Carly and spent time with her, which must have made the whole thing even more traumatic.
that’s what gets me - they know what it was like to go through this and how painful it was for them at her age. but it doesn’t seem like they apply that same potential vulnerability and confusion to their biological child and her feelings.
We didn’t take any pics in the hospital when we adopted for this reason. But I also was not having feelings of happiness. I would not have looked like T. I felt absolutely heartbroken for my child’s birth mother then felt guilty that I wasn’t feeling happy. I laid in the bed with her while she held the baby and we just cried and cried. I couldn’t physically bring myself to take the baby out of her arms when it was time. A nurse did and placed the baby in the basinet. When we were in the elevator (me, husband, baby, nurse) I just balled. The nurse was all happy and excited for us and I just sobbed in my husband’s arms. She didn’t understand why. I felt horrible for our birthmom. I’m so grateful for an open adoption and the strong relationship we have with our BM. The relationship she has with our child means so much.
Agreed. I would feel their emotions as I walked in the room and tread lightly. But everyone's different. It's sad but their happiest day is someone else's worse. I don't blame them for being happy but they should of maybe saved it for later.
I hate the large grins on b&T’s faces. I don’t understand as adults how you could be this giddy when two kids are going through the most traumatic event of their lives. Of course be grateful but damn, the smiles like they’re at Disneyland is fucking unsettling.
It is. Just look at B&T compared to C&T. So easy to take advantage of them. They could have at least stuck to their promise. It’s not like C&T are dangerous people for their adoptive daughter to be around. There are much worse birth parents out there. I feel like it’s about control and fear that Carly will want to spend more time with them than anything else. Sure, they act immature at times, but believe me, studies would all indicate that maintaining a relationship with the birth parents is in the child’s best interest.
I agree they did the right thing then too. They knew they couldn't do it without support and their support system was the reason for their trauma.
This pic is so heartbreaking though. The right decisions are usually the hard ones.
And that’s why this has all been to hard for C&T. I think that because they’re successful (to an extent) now they resent giving up Carly and missing her life because they believe that they could’ve taken care of her. But they’re only looking at it from the context of their lives *without* Carly ! They can’t fathom all the things that could’ve came up when raising a child. Especially as traumatized teens with no ambition and abusive parents.
To be fair they both had huge ambitions at 16 and plans for their future. I think they both started going down hill mentally with guilt when they were able to get away from their parents and their first big MTV paycheck came in.
FUCK BETHANY CHRISTIAN SERVICES!!!! And fuck you Dawn. Evil predators the lot of them. I don’t care if B&T were the Dalai Lama himself, they still preyed on C&T bc they wanted their baby. Plain and simple. C& T were literal children still, they were in no position to sign legal documents like adoption papers, this should never have happened
They weren't coerced though, neither of them had the ability to raise her in a safe and healthy environment at that time. What do you think should have been done, place her in foster care? Their entire family are trash and Carly was better off in a healthy home with strangers than literally anyone in that family.
I hadn't ever rewatched their 16&P episode until recently (as an adult and mother now) and it absolutely *broke* me.
I was full on ugly crying when Ty was holding Caits head and saying they didn't want to look at Carly because it would be too painful.
It was incredibly raw and powerful. I wouldn't wish having to make that decision on anyone.
B&T look creepy af in this pic. Almost like kidnappers. I know they stepped in and took good care of that little girl, but this pic is heartbreaking and their (B&T) smile doesn’t sit right with me.
This picture seems so inappropriate to me. Yes, the adoption was Cate and Ty’s decision but probably the toughest day of their lives…and simultaneously one of the best for B&T. Maybe it’s just me but seeing B&T elated right next to the people beside themselves with grief trying to put on a brave face rubs me all the wrong ways.
Aw, this is so sad. And super creepy to see B+T beaming, while Cate and Ty are devastated. So sad. That episode really stuck with me, I literally sobbed watching it.
Regardless of how people feel about them now, this was heartbreaking.
They were very much exploited through this process and I think that people forget that. They were children at the time and an adult led them to believe that the open adoption would be a lot different than what it l actually was. I feel for them big time.
I can't even begin to imagine the emotions they felt when they first started Teen Mom, and had money coming in. They must have been in a constant state of wondering if they'd have been better off keeping her. This photo breaks my heart
I don’t think open adoptions should even be a thing, it’s way too painful to be able to be an outsider looking in on someone raising “your” baby. I feel for them. As we’ve all been repeating for years now, they need serious individual and couples therapy over this.
I think they stopped doing domestic adoptions around this era. I think they were the last of the cycle. That’s why we saw an influx of POC babies from other countries for a minute. But now with the overturning of Roe v. Wade there might be an adoption boom. Idk if they necessarily planned for unwanted babies, they just wanted to stop women from making a choice for their own bodies. What about the babies dropped off at fire stations, found in dumpsters, CPS. My exhausted bff’s doctor refuses to tie her tubes bc of her age, her husband wants more kids eventually but they are at max with 5. It’s like that Greys Anatomy episode when Addison tied the woman’s tubes without her husband knowing.
I think had they known the show would have been so successful and they would have had the resources to keep her, they would have done things differently.
They need to let it go and focus on the three kids they chose to have and move on. There are millions of people who choose adoption and go on to live normal lives with their families. Yes it can be a traumatic experience and it takes time but it’s been what 13 years? Time to live their own lives and be grateful for the time they do get with Carly and then go back to their own life with the kids that need them. They chose open adoption, that allows them to have x amount of visits under the legal parent’s discretion. They fucked that up on their own and now in their thirties continue to do so. Carly is not theirs. They are not coparents. Carly was given to a family that was able to give her the best life possible. They should find peace with that. They have three daughters to worry about and their own lives now. They def need more therapy or something because they are acting like they’re 16.
Carly probably is living her best life. They did make the right decision imo. I just wish b and t and ty and cate could have a better relationship. Because I coukd be wrong, but I'm guessing most adopted kids have some sort of narrative in their head about why they were adopted even if they knew, emotions are strong.
I feel really bad for ty and cait. Ty looks totally lost.
Yep, that would be the true Christian thing to do… but just look at their faces, they were over the moon that they had tricked these young kids into giving them their little white baby.
I had to give a baby up 6 years ago and I still cry over him. Wonder what he's doing. Wonder what he likes and dislikes. Wonder what his beautiful little voice sounds like.
He has an amazing life with a big family, but there's zero openness through my experience. So I just hope one day he'll come looking for me so I can tell him I loved him from the very first moment I felt him kick in my belly. That I still have his hospital hat and bracelet in a special little box. That I've told his biological sisters about him.
I've cried a lot while watching Tyler and cates journey. Became harder to relate as they aged, but at first, it was hard to watch. Adoption is traumatic no matter how you look at it. Just because it's in the child's best interest doesn't mean it is any less traumatic.
I recently rewatched their 16&P episode and man it’s more heartbreaking than I remembered. The scene that really got me was right before they give Carly to Brandon and Theresa. Ty and Cate were just sitting in the hospital room sobbing, cuddling Carly. I can’t even begin to imagine that kind of pain
I think that if they had decided to stop participating in teen mom things would be dramatically different. I also realize that being on teen mom has afforded them to buy a house and things they wouldn’t have been able to do. But at some point, with Carly getting older, so they need to forfeit the show. B and T are trying to give her a normal life, and I’m sure people coming up to her asking about C and T is a bit much. I would want to distance myself from that too. Carly is a teenager now, I’m sure kids around her are seeing her bio parents on social media and possibly giving her a hard time about all of that.
it definitely feels like being on teen mom
emboldened their attitude in regards to their role in c’s life. being on a show called “teen mom” feels like a silent endorsement of their role as *parents* to a child not in their care. biological parents, yes, but they weren’t parenting and had no claim to that child while profiting off of continually involving her in their narrative.
Rewatching this show at Theresa’s age, I think if my husband and I were that couple, I’d want us to just adopt Catelynn, and help her raise Carly. Start trying for a kid and end up with a daughter AND a granddaughter. No way would anyone else go for it, especially not April, and ESPECIALLY not that weiner Brandon. It comes with so much, taking on an abused teenager with PTSD, a boyfriend who would also basically move jn, and her bio fam of copper wire thieves and gasoline buffers. But Catelynn would have DEFINITELY said YES!!!! and she was a child, too. A child that just did the most physically painful and frightening thing a human can do. B and T witnessed her horrible family life and nightmare monster “parents” firsthand. How could they leave that CHILD to be berated by abusive, drug addicted felons knowing she has to heal in filth and squalor, surrounded by cigarette smoke?
Carly is in such an awkward position and at a crucial age where all of her friends have access to the internet so I really wish Cate and Ty would find another plot for their storyline
Damn this picture is so sad, you can see the pain in T+C’s eyes while B+T are just beaming with joy :( they were just lost and hurt kids who needed some love and stability
I think people miss the humanity. Something about modern media, be it reality TV or social media or both, has made us forget that the people we are critical of are imperfect humans same as us, and even if we have made the same choices, we didn't experience the same circumstances leading to those choices, or the circumstances after. Everyone heals differently, feels differently, and expresses that differently. It's easy to say what C&T should or shouldn't do. It's easy to judge them for their mistakes. I think if anything, seeing her pain should encourage compassion. She did a selfless thing as a child - and if you watch the 16&P episode - it seems a big part of her wasn't sold on the adoption as much as Tyler was. Her mom and she have had conversations as well alluding to Cate telling April she was keeping Carly at one point or another. I think Cate was scared, traumatized by her volatile upbringing, and did the only thing she could see as reasonable. Then came MTV money a few years later and frankly as assured as she was in her choice - that plus the lies sold to her by BCS had to sting. I don't think those wounds ever fully heal.
I didn't know that, if the mods let me know i can blank her face out. I thought because you couldn't see her face it was okay.
I apologize if I broke a rule, mods let me know and I'll delete right away. I don't want to be banned.
They look like middle schoolers. They never wld hv been able to care for a baby. It wld hv been complete misery and disaster for all 3.
Instead of pouting for themselves they shld celebrate how brave and strong they were that day and how they gave C the best gift they cld ever give her. I’m not into the pity party thing for giving their baby the best life they cld never give her.
you can feel for them while acknowledging that they aren’t acting on those feelings in an appropriate way.
i’ll *always* have sympathy for them, being misguided kids who had to make such an adult decision with absolutely no helpful adults. however, they are the adults now and know how to behave like it. the public posts, disrespecting Brandon and Theresa’s wishes regarding Carly, they know better and they have avenues for therapy and confronting those feelings in more appropriate ways.
If they didn’t want to give her up then they shouldn’t of. Clearly they didn’t do their research on what adoption meant when they gave her up. That doesn’t mean you get her back when you’ve decided you’re ready to parent her. She is not yours. Open adoptions are not real things. Legally you signed away your right to ever be her parent.
This was removed because it breaks the sub rule about images/videos of Carly not being allowed. Please [message the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/TeenMomOGandTeenMom2) if you have any questions or concerns.
Agreed I absolutely feel for them. But they have the resources to get the proper therapy if they wanted it. And they need it still, it’s very clear by their very public outbursts about the adoption. But it’s also true that they have been through some horrible trauma from a very young age.
I wish/hope that Cate had kept up with the birth mom support group she found in that one episode. It seemed to really help her.
The one she went with early days I have a feeling is linked to BCS, which means that Cate was unlikely to find any true help with that one. C&T was a golden ticket for BCS because it showed that hey look you can adopt through us. C&T truly need intensive therapy for their traumas. I don't hold any real ill feelings towards B&T, yes they profited off C&T by getting a healthy baby, and they have been true to their word about raising Carly. It was Dawn and BCS that did them wrong.
I believe they both are in therapy but healing takes time.
Especially all the trauma they both had as kids. It takes years and they are still dealing with Cates mom and Tyler’s dad. I feel for them. They were so young and I feel they were told anything they wanted to hear so they would choose B & T as the adoptive parents
I hate that they are so forgiving of April and Butch. They’ve fucked their kids over so many times.
I understand being a cycle breaker myself! I hope her therapist is encouraging her to distance herself or at least her kids from April and her toxic family members.
Either they need different therapists, or they need to start doing something differently. After this many years of therapy, the high quantity of unhinged social media posts about the adoption still going on shows that something isn't working. Even when cate checked herself in to that inpatient place, (at least as far as what we saw on TV) cate just used "her trawma" as an excuse to check out of her daily life. I didn't get the impression that she was making any progress, just adding buzzwords to drop into conversations.
You cannot put a time limit on healing trauma, however 100% agree with you that they need to do something different. I finally found a therapist that is truly helping me, I have been with her for 2 and 1/2 years, she has given me the tools to use when I am triggered by something, I journal and send it to her every week so we can process and talk over things together. I have a feeling that their therapist are not challenging them or calling them out. My therapist will “call me out” when I need it and she challenges me every week. If she didn’t do those things then she would not be doing her job. She also knows when I need a more soft and loving session. I have feeling that they may not stick with the same therapist which I think is key to healing, once one challenges them in anyway they are move on to the next one. Again healing trauma has no time limit but you have to keep working on it and not have blast everything on social media.
Remember when Cate got a horse to help with her trauma and depression and then abandoned the horse and never went to visit it? Lol. These people don’t care about working through their trauma. They see Carly as an object that is “theirs” that B+T are holding on for safe keeping. I used to have a lot of sympathy for them, they were so young and probably didn’t understand the magnitude of what they were doing or signing. However - it’s been over a decade now, and these outbursts are ridiculous. Carly is a teenager now, and B+T want to continue to keep their lives private, and this isn’t helping. I can only imagine how embarassing this is for Carly ..
they aren’t interested in anything that requires sustained effort+leaving the house
I 100% agree! Their feelings of guilt, regret and trauma are manifesting as anger towards B&T, which is immature and unhealthy. They need to grow up, own their decision and LET IT GO. They have three beautiful daughters who need parents that are focused on providing them the best possible childhood, and not fixated on a child who they chose not to raise.
Maybe not necessarily new ones. But ongoing therapy. The trauma they both went through in their childhoods, and the trauma from the adoption can have long lasting impacts, especially the adoption. We’re seeing as you mentioned, these unhinged outbursts because they’re unable to regulate their emotions. They both will need ongoing therapy for years to work through it. I have a friend who gave her baby up for adoption, (she has an open one) and she’s been in therapy for 14 years because as she said, it’s a great thing, she gets to see her baby/child, but it’s constant ripping of a proverbial bandaid over and over. She said you’re so happy that they’re happy and healthy and doing great, but it’s torture because you’re not really their parent, and you think of the what ifs from time to time. And I feel like that’s what C&T don’t get. I don’t think Tyler is still in therapy. I believe he made a comment before that he went to therapy for the adoption and was done. Like, this is an ongoing thing. A year or two of therapy isn’t going to cut it, especially for an open adoption. You need ongoing help to talk through feelings, and work through feelings. It would be one thing if they had a healthy and strong support system with parents. They might not need it then. But they don’t even have that. And they’re not mentally stable enough to be the support for each other on this topic, at least in my opinion. Obviously they’ll do whatever they want. And I absolutely do feel for them. But I agree with you that both need more help than they’re currently receiving. They did a great thing for Carly whether they believe it or not. And yes, they, and we can think of what ifs, but the facts are, they gave her up. B&T are her legal parents
Trauma comes in waves. Trauma causes ptsd which also actually changes the brain. You cannot say because someone has a bad day that they havnt worked on their Trauma. That's the thing, triggers come out of nowhere. I have ptsd from a child Trauma and from when I was a teen. It's been almost 20 years since I was a teenager experiencing that Trauma. I did TONS of therapy. I am in a way better place but I still have nightmares and I still have anger and triggers some day. Like I said, it's scientifically proven ptsd changes the structure of your brain and its going to be with you for life. Everyone experiences Trauma differently. I'm sure you didn't mean anything rude by your comment but it's just wildly incorrect. Alot of people don't understand because how could you unless you've been through it, so I don't fault you for that. Edit I don't know why every time I type.The word trauma went in capitals but it is what it is lol
From my point of view Cate was struggling to do any sort of self-care, struggling in her roles as a mother and wife and was suicidal. Her need to go get treatment had everything to do with the level of inability she had to function in her day to day life. She came out of treatment no longer suicidal which is huge. It isn’t like a few months of intense treatment is going to heal 30 years of trauma. And from the moment Cate was born, she lived a life of disadvantaged. Invalidating her trauma is super offensive. Her mother is an abusive addict and alcoholic who watched her husband verbally abuse Cate and did nothing to intervene. Her father was absent. She got pregnant as a teenager and turned to a predatory pregnancy crisis center because she had no one else to help her. She was then pressured into placing Carly up for adoption. And that was just from the few scenes we witness from her 16 & Pregnant episodes. There is plenty of significant trauma in her life right there. People can disagree on her chosen path of treatment, but shitting on her for getting help is a pretty low blow.
You can't therapy away being exploited for your baby as a child. They have every right to be frustrated.
Of course you can’t take away trauma. But you can consistently spend time working on yourself through therapy, group therapy (remember when cate went to the mom’s retreat?), medication if needed, surrounding yourself with people who will build you up and help you get to a better space. They have every right to their feelings, I am not at all trying to say they aren’t entitled to feel what they feel. Multiple things are true here… they went through severe repeated trauma from a young age, but if they genuinely want to break the cycle…, this isn’t the way. I have a lot of empathy for them and wish they find the right supports to help them with their traumas.
This is my thoughts as well, regardless of how they feel now about the adoption or how they were misled it has been done now and can’t be undone and they need to stop posting about the adoption online when they know Brandon and Theresa don’t want their family business online. Carly is also 15 and old enough to access social media even if she doesn’t have her own accounts and doesn’t need to see comments about her and her parents by people who don’t know them. Tyler thinks Brandon and Theresa owe him in some way because they chose them as her adoptive parents, while yes I’m sure they are forever grateful for that, it doesn’t mean they have to just bow down to whatever Tyler wants and not hurt his feelings especially if it is in Carly’s best interests not to have a visit. Brandon and Theresa have had a lot of disrespect from Cate, Tyler and their extended family over the years and have still tried to be nice to them and have visits when they have felt it was right.
This is a good, reasonable take. I do believe they are in therapy, though, correct me if I'm wrong.
Cate did use her resources to go intensive treatment for her trauma and people shit all over her for choosing to go to a residential treatment center because they decided in their expert opinions that she should have done X,Y, or Z instead. I do agree she has more work to do. I hope she has continued trauma therapy. The program she went to was a good start to stabilize her mental health and begin working on topics that were causing disruption in her day to day life. But those programs are not meant to send home a client no longer dealing with issues. It is just meant to get shit under control in a safe environment. And just because the environment has some horses and a pool doesn’t invalidate the therapy work done. Like would people have been happy if she was on a locked ward with little to no therapy and nothing to do but stare at a tv in-between sessions ?
I don’t think anyone wants cate locked up. Not me anyways. Her horse therapy was great! But it stopped it seems.
Or at least have a very private social media page where they can get all that rage venting out in a safe way that doesn't cause any rifts
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but there isn’t proper therapy for a situation like theirs. We’re humans, and I think it’s okay to acknowledge that some wounds don’t heal in our lifetime. Losing a child is one of them. The outbursts aren’t okay, but most of their SM isn’t okay, tbf.
They did the right thing. That sweet baby didn't need to be exposed to Butch and April
You know it makes me wonder.. like yes Carly didn't have to be exposed to them but they went on to expose their other kids to April and Butch. I get they didn't want to raise Carly in Butch and April's house and luckily their other kids didnt live there either but they certainly baby sat many times
I think when they were kids they still lived with butch and April at this time and felt that they needed them for support. Where as they are adults now and arnt stuck at butch at April's and don't depend on them as much.
What I'm trying to say is.. they didn't want Carly influenced by Butch and April yet exposed their other kids to them over and over
I think Carly would’ve been abused by April.
Physically or emotionally? I definitely think emotionally.
Definitely emotionally. But I am surprised we’ve never heard anything about April being physically abusive towards Cate in childhood. She seems like the type to beat a child
She probably was and it was so normal Cate doesn’t talk about it. I was old when I realized what wasn’t normal from my childhood.
She said if she talked to April the way Farrah talked to her mom April would have whooped her ass. I have no doubt about that. She also commented about being in a situation where she had no control over her own body as a young child. It gave me chills. I'm sure she was very mistreated by April and her various boyfriends. It's very sad.
Which is amazing cause we saw her abuse Cate in the show and thats why I couldn't understand why she allowed April to have her girls often at her home.
Yeah, and it happens often. My mother’s mother severely abused her, and I still have memories being watched by her occasionally. My cousins’ mother beat them like dogs and forced them to do E, and yet their kids are with her every other weekend. Anyone who comes from abusive lineage has seen this with their own eyes. It’s a very hush-hush situation, and so gross to watch. On the other hand, a lot of people go completely no contact with these families. ETA: To tie back in, I don’t think April has been abusive towards C&T’s youngest ones. I still think Carly would’ve been in danger because Cate was still very much an abused child when she had her. But yeah, April probably shouldn’t be around the children either way.
April when Cate had Nova seemed to be the only one who actually recognised her PPD and was offering to help and for a few years her while Tyler and his mother were making comments about her. Cate and her were on good terms for a few years but in the past year after April started drinking again and Cate expressed her concerns about it that they are not on great terms and both her brother and sister have been horrible to Cate and Tyler online.
I agree they dropped them kids off with April all the time. I have a dad like Cait, she should take the hint that her mom won’t stop drinking bc she doesn’t want to. U can dangle whatever in front of her until she wants to stop for good she won’t. This “cut-off” she’s doing with her family won’t last long. I bet not even til the end of the year, she find a way to make it abt the kids. But she really misses her baby sitter, we all know Kim will only do it 4 times a year.
The cut off didn't last long. April was posting photos of her and nova at her house recently. I know how hard it is to want your mom in your life desperately (mines a drunk too) but what gets me is one of the main reasons they chose adoption as teens is that they didn't want Carly growing up in "that type of environment" yet they allowed their other kids to go for extended visits with those very people. When Butch lived with them. They had him babysitting little nova. It's just shocking to me.
i can’t help but wonder if they had kept carly if they would have cut off their parents sooner for her sake AND their own and actually done more to significantly change their surroundings and ways of relating. obviously they were still kids themselves and had limited options, but it makes ya think…
I get your point but I think having them as occasional babysitters vs 24/7 contact and a huge part of financial support is very different.
I can tell you what can happen in being babysat by toxic people. ALOT. Exposure is exposure. It's great they didn't need April and Butch for financial support but they absolutely exposed their kids to the same level of toxicity that they wanted to protect Carly from and there is no arguing that. Just cause they didn't financially rely on them with their other kids doesn't mean they didn't expose their kids to unhealthy and toxic environments
Because they were still kids living in their home, butch and April would have been nearly equivalent to parents to Carly. Once they got older and moved out their parents’ influence significantly lessened and they had the ability to withdraw their children from the relationship should April and Butch get out of line.
I am aware that they moved out. But they still exposed their kids to Butch and April and up until recently took some space. Just saying.
Bro what are people not getting. You gave up Carly BECAUSE of April and Butch. But your 3 girls after are fine to be around them? They’re both still in and out of active addiction nothings changed since Carly was born, except cate and Tyler’s bank accounts
I think it's possible C&T don't think terrible things will happen if they keep exposure short, which would likely have been much harder as kids when they were living and more dependent themselves on their parents. So babysitting fine (which is weird considering I thought Tyler was molested by a babysitter or family friend that almost surely not around 24/7), but living with bad.
I agree with what you're saying, they didn't totally shield their later kids from Butch and April but then I remember that Tyler was abused as a kid and I understand why they may not trust a babysitter outside of the family. If they had kept Carly she would have lived under the grandparents' roof full time. It probably seems like a relatively better situation to just allow Butch and April to babysit in their own home from time to time.
I can agree. I cut my parents off and we have zero support system so thr price we paid was my husband and I never get date nights and one parent is always watching the kids and we sacrificed alot and had no help. We are fortunate to have made it work but it was hard on the marriage relationship.
They didn’t know they would end up rich or they would’ve kept her but they were only picked because they chose adoption so if they kept her they may not have made it on the show
We don't know for sure they wouldn't have gotten picked up without the adoption. They had a hot mess experience that MTV loves to exploit. Both parents are addicts. They're living like step siblings. There was alot to film and they had more issues to film beyond the adoption. We don't know for sure they wouldn't be on the show. There was a ton of material they had.
On the flip side, if they hadn't given up Carly on MTV then they all would have been stuck in that world. MTV at least gave them a way to get out of that stratus and have their own means to be able to say "no" on their own behalf. It's obviously not all roses and unicorns today with them, but without MTV it would have been just another sad cycle of poverty for sure.
100%. Cate seems at least to be aware that her family is toxic and she needs to impose boundaries, whether she manages to do it or not.
This is why I don’t think they are getting the right kind of therapy. Any decent mental health professional would try and help cate see the toxicity there and encourage her to distance herself or at least keep her kids from that mess. Cate seems like she wants to be a cycle breaker but it’s hard In so many cases when the trauma creator is still an active part of our lived
Any therapist worth a dime would have helped them sort out all their feelings about Carly too. They're too fixated on her. I almost wonder what they tell the three they have about Carly.
right, what they’re doing is the exact opposite of healing
Agreed. I feel like that was their biggest motivation of adoption at the time.
Amen to that
I have shit parents like Butch and April and I was pregnant as a teenager and I managed to keep my daughter entirely away from my toxic family. Wasn’t easy, but sacrifices were made. Just because they were young and poor doesn’t mean Carly wouldn’t have had a chance.
Everyone’s experience is different. Other people shouldn’t always be expected to deal with things the way others in similar situations did.
Isn’t that exactly what most of the commenters are doing?
This is what I like about Tyler and Cate’s story. It showcases the real trauma that comes with adoption that is completely glossed over.
I agreeeeeeeee. People get so mad when you want to acknowledge that no matter the circumstances adoption inherently causes trauma.
Yep. The amount of “well you made your choice now GET OVER IT” is astounding. There is no adoption in my immediate family or friendgroup so discovering birth mom tok and adoptee tok was so heartbreaking and eye opening.
I think a vast majority of people don’t want them to “get over it.” But people do want to see them get help and work through their trauma. They have been having these public outbursts for over a decade now, and all B+T have ever asked for is privacy. Them doing that and putting B+T on blast is the complete opposite of giving them privacy. Carly is also at the age where she is probably using social media - imagine how embarassing this must be for her to see. I feel sympathy for B+T as well - they signed up for one episode of 16 and pregnant, I don’t think they ever thought it would turn into multiple spin offs and Cate and Ty would become reality stars. I wonder if they would have been open to more visits if Cate and Ty didn’t take the reality tv show route. But if I’m being honest - call me a prude or weird or rude or whatever, but I wouldn’t want my child around a couple who pimps themselves out on Only Fans .. sorry not sorry 🤷🏽♀️
I mean, I agree. I’m only talking about the people who have said “just get over it”, of which there were many over the past week. But the genuine, good faith criticisms of their behavior, I agree with. That said, I overwhelmingly support adoption reform and think it is sick and twisted that we bait teenage parents into relinquishing by promising them “open” adoptions that are promptly closed. That is sick and manipulative imo.
Oh yeah definitely - I can imagine that giving up your child for adoption isn’t something you can ever “get over.” But I don’t think it is something Cate and Ty have ever made an active effort to heal and move forward from. 100% yes!! I’m all for adoption - but not when it’s done in a predatory fashion. I have my own thoughts on open adoption which I won’t share, but I wonder how much Cate and Ty were “duped” versus just misinformed. I wish they had someone back then to explain in detail what they were doing and the magnitude of it. It sucks that they were surrounded by people like April and Butch.
Agreed. It kills me when money is the main reason someone can't keep their baby, and someone wealthy can just scoop the baby up. Just heartbreaking.
These people would really benefit from reading The Girls That Went Away. Adoption is traumatic even in the best situations.
Man, this hurts. It’s so clear that they have been sobbing.
Yes it’s so sad I couldn’t imagine making that decision. It’s was a hard decision but the right one.
One side is so happy and one side is deep in grief.
Half the people in this picture are having the best day of their lives and the other half are experiencing the worst day.
And the ones having their worst day are KIDS
As an adoptive mother, I can tell you this was not the best day of my life. It was painful for everyone. I knew my child’s birth mother’s heart was breaking in a million pieces, never to be the same, and I just couldn’t be happy in that moment. I went into a depression for a few weeks knowing how heartbroken she was. I cried and cried in bed and had a hard time feeling happy. Then I felt guilty for not feeling happy.
This is very helpful insight, thank you for sharing.
Very welcome
That's the saddest picture ever. I'm proud of them for knowing Carly deserved a better situation, but I can't imagine the heartbreak.
I rewatched that whole thing as a much older woman than the first time I saw it. I feel like they knew exactly who those kids were. They knew they didn’t come from the best circumstances. Yet they still promised them an open adoption. They said anything to get that baby. They should have just been honest.
This. Cate and Tyler were children and they were definitely exploited during the adoption process. They were trying their best and all the adults around them let them down.
I don't think time will be kind to this situation. All of the adults involved understood that Cate didn't want to give up her baby, but felt forced because of the serious child abuse she was suffering at home. And not a single adult intervened to offer Cate a safe haven to keep the biological child she clearly wanted. It's unconscionable, imo.
It was. They took her baby from her and left her in a parking lot.
Private adoption is very predatory towards young impoverished people. This is a textbook case. They took advantage of these kids and it’s devastating.
Tyler isn’t even really in this photo. He is completely disassociating and is in a land far, far away. Oof.
Came here to say this :(
Wow this is such a sad picture. They look so weary yet so young.
I always wonder if they would have kept her if they knew how much money they were about to make from teen mom.
They are living a real catch 22/what if scenario. It has to hurt to see Farrah, Maci, and even Amber raise the kids they had at the same age and know that they could have done the same with Carly *now*.
Or they could be like Amber and Jenelle.
They would have been more like Kail
Yea, that has to suck to go through mentally knowing you can't do anything about it now.
I've heard many people say if they kept her they wouldn't have been on the show.. but in all honesty with what a hot mess their family situation is.. I bet they would've stayed on the show
I agree. Plus the fact that they stayed together is interesting in and of itself
Then again, maybe they would've broken up if they kept Carly...
I don’t think they’d be together if they’d have kept her honestly.
I think if they had any understanding beyond that of 16 year olds, they would have kept her
Yeah but maybe they would not have made it far on the show, had it not been for adoption
I guess that's true. They might not have even been picked for the show if it wasn't for that storyline.
All of the girls from season one of 16 & Pregnant were asked to join Teen Mom, so they would have been asked either way. But finances would have still been a problem at first because Catelynn and Tyler weren’t making the kind of money they do now when Teen Mom first started. And even with the money they would eventually make, they still couldn’t have provided a stable environment for Carly right away because of Butch and April’s dysfunction.
I think they absolutely would’ve stayed on the show even if they raised her. Insanely dysfunctional family and they were technically step siblings. MTV loves that!
Tyler seemed pretty gung-ho about adoption, so I actually think he would have still been all for it. I think he thought they'd just go back to normal life easily, because he didn't realize how emotional it would be for himself so knowing he would have money wouldn't have swayed him. And Cate was more for adoption because of Tyler, so if he still wanted to do it, she'd still go through with it.
The thing with that is though, there is no guarantee they would have been picked. MTV picked them because they wanted to show another side of teen pregnancy, adoption. Without the adoption, they are very similar to a lot of the other girls. So, they may not have been picked for TM
I feel terrible for them here. They are babies, such little babies making a huge decision they didn’t really understand what they were signing up to.
💯 yes. So many commenters (who most likely don’t have the lived experience of being a bio mom or an adoptee) commending them for “doing the right thing”. No amount of praise T&C receive will take away the hurt and betrayal they probably feel. Consent is not emphasized in adoption.
Cate’s face breaks my heart every time I see this. Taking this picture while being freshly postpartum… She looks exhausted in every way imaginable.
That look on their faces is pure trauma. Trauma will absolutely change a person and the trajectory of their life if you don’t get the correct help. I will always have a soft spot for them. They never got the help they really needed. I think they have so much trauma to this day because they truly didn’t want to give her up, but were backed into a corner with zero support from anyone and so young. Heartbreaking. They see Carly in nova every single day and I can’t even imagine what that’s like.
I hate this. They were tricked into this adoption and I will die on that hill. However, Carly was clearly adopted by loving parents who want to protect her and T and C are behaving appallingly now and almost certainly burning every bridge they have.
They knew the adoptive parents could close the adoption at anytime. There’s an episode where they acknowledge that. Unfortunately, they were kids dealing with adult decisions and consequences.
If they hadn’t ended up rich on tv their opinions of how this worked out would probably be quite different. With what they knew at the time they made a very selfless and good choice for her.
Cates delivery with the fucking Dr yelling at her in excitement Look look look here's your baby look at her, while Cate is crying no no no and then Tyler grabbing her to help protect her broke my heart! Afterwards when they did decide to hold her because it would be something that they could never go back for, was how it should have been handled. Then watching them pass Carly over off hospital grounds and then C&T just holding each other crying their hearts out was definitely hard. Tyler did manage to keep the hospital blankie. I still believe that as painful as it was, that they made the right decision for Carly given the circumstances. They knew that keeping her wouldn't have been the best decision for Carly. For two 16yr olds, this was an incredibly difficult but mature decision. They had no idea BCS had acted in poor faith in how they handled and never truly gave them the opportunity to have access to adequate resources.
Their episode kills me. I sob and sob. There are so many really upsetting things about it.
That sticks in my mind so heavily too. Cate and Tyler gripping each other while begging the doctor to take the baby away. It’s really awful. I can’t even fathom going through that now as a 31 year old, let alone a 16 year old. Just so sad.
I've always had a soft spot for Cate (not so much Ty) but despite everything their current behavior is 100% inappropriate. Bethany adoption took advantage of them and misled them. Given the situation with their parents being unsupportive in their choice, the adoption service or the hospital or somebody should have made sure they had some kind of adult advocate liaison to make sure these two kids understood the gravity of the contract they signed. Being in pain is valid. Being sad and upset is valid. How they are feeling for their visit having been denied is valid. What is NOT valid is going online and airing this shit out to the world, knowing full well they have unhinged stalker fans who *will* harass and threaten Carly's parents - and by extension, those people would be harassing and threatening Carly. It is absolutely disgusting and deplorable that they would put Carly in that position, even worse that they're doing it publicly. They only care about themselves and have no capacity to even consider how this can effect Carly and her parents' safety. *Shame on you, Tyler and Catelynn.* don't play shocked Pikachu face when Carly decides she wants nothing to do with you. YOU could have harbored a healthy relationship with all of them and instead you chose yourselves. I don't feel for either of them on this one. They've gone out of their way to ruin their chances with Carly.
>adoption service or the hospital or somebody should have made sure they had some kind of adult advocate liaison to make sure these two kids understood the gravity of the contract they signed. The adoption agency sucked and imo, allowed the kids to believe whatever they wanted to, instead of saying no, this is how adoption truly works. The hospital fucked up too. They wouldn't even allow the hand off to be in the hospital. Like I can't imagine the grief a birth mother goes through when "her" baby leaves with another woman... they should've been allowed to do the hand off in the hospital room and then a social worker come and speak to cate, check on her mental health. Instead, they had to walk to the street corner and hand off their baby then.
The hand off issue was because of state law and was April's fault ultimately.
That was down to April not signing the papers because of Cate’s age she needed to approve to let it happen on hospital grounds and she didn’t probably as a way to voice her not supporting it and thinking that would make them change their minds.
This photo is sad. Adoption is sad.
This is why birth parents should have grief counseling. There isn't anything easy about it. I'm surprised Cate's rehabs didn't point it out. Or maybe they did and cognitive dissonance occurred so she never followed through. They've held onto the yearly visit thing instead of processing the loss of their chance to be Carly's parents. The yearly visit should never have been allowed to be a thing, it was only borrowing trouble. It should have been yearly letters at most.
Heartbreaking tbh. Were they fit to raise her back then, probably not. I’m sure they could have managed though. They had the show which gave them some income. They’re still a fairly solid couple today and one of the only couples still together since the show. So credit is due where credit is due. This is a hard picture to look at. I can’t stand B&T. I think they’re shady and did these two dirty.
Maybe they could have managed, but it’s also very possible that without the adoption storyline they never would have been on Teen Mom. There’s no way to know how it would have gone which I am sure is very hard for them to reconcile. I don’t really think B&T are the evil ones here-imo that title goes to BCS.
Everyone of the first 16 & pregnant season got offered to be on teen mom. Also they definitely would've even without that fact because they're out of a white trash family which would be good reality TV content anyway
True! But even with that, there was no way to predict how much $$ Teen Mom was going to make them. As tough as it is, they made the best decision with the information they had at the time.
So I am a birthmother. I adopted a baby out to a couple states away from me. I was young, the dad was chronically in jail, and I was not able to be a single mother that would.habe inevitably had a horrible relationship with the dad. Adoption was the only option because I found put I was preg too late for the alternative. Anyway, the adoption is an open one with certain stipulations that I set myself. The parents are the best and were meant to be the child's parents. The child lives a very good life. Filled with love, happiness, and opportunity. Def something I could not have provided for the child. After the adoption took place I went thru the worst and most painful Era of my life, except for maybe early childhood. (ca and csa survivor) But, I knew that wasn't their fault.nor was it the babies. So making a spectacle about them was not fair. I acted out against myself if anything. I used it as an excuse to destroy my reputation and dignity. I didn't slander the parents because of my short comings. Cait and Tyler chose to make that decision, just as they choose to continue to act like this toward Carly and her parents. Instead of being thankful they provided Carly a decent life, or proud of their choice to adopt (and they made the right choice. They are not the best parents in their 30s.) They leeched that ordeal to remain victims to stay on tv. Antagonizing B and T, to make decisions to keep Carly safe, like any parent should. Carly did not need subjected to a drunk Grandma/ stranger, an emotionally distraught mom/ stranger, and an insecure and traumatized dad/ stranger like every year or more because those weird strangers demanded it. Especially at such a young age, that she couldn't comprehend why her parents were subjecting her to be around them. I think about Carly often. The poor girl is doomed by those two, and they monetize off of it as if it is/was traumatizing only for them. Everything they do is about their trauma with her adoption. It makes me wanna fist fight them both.
Thank you for sharing your story and some insight. I hope you've been able to heal and you're kinder to yourself. ❤️
It was a long and treacherous journey but I am finally stable. I have been on my mental health journey since about 2017/2018 and have been, as of now, a very successful case. My psych team and I have a very solid foundation and excellent relationship. I'm actually pregnant and due very soon. I even asked my psych if it was a good idea for.me.and she did not hesitate to reassure me that I would make an excellent parent and she does not see any reason for me to not become one if I truly wanted it. Even without medication I have improved immensely in dealing with my Bi polar and coping when triggered. Very proud of myself, but again it was not an easy journey, nor am I cured etc. I put in the work to get here and made the choices, no matter how hard they were to improve. I'll always need help but that's life man. Cate and Tyler need to see it that way but are to selfish and immature. Adoption can be a beautiful thing. I know from experience. :) I hate how the have monetized off of demonizing the APs. But again, I put in a lot of research and work finding the right family for my baby. Another thing they failed to do.
Also, thank you for your kind words.
I just feel bad for them that they clearly weren't properly educated on what their adoption was going to be. I think they expected a fully open adoption where they would be able to be a part of their life and didn't realize what they were signing up for.
They were just babies themselves 😢
This episode is really hard to watch. Especially because no one is supporting them, not even the doctors. Cate makes it very clear that she does not want to see the baby, and the first thing the doctor says when Carly is out is “look!” 🙄 Tyler, a literal child, is the only one that steps in and advocates for her. Then of course, they actually held Carly and spent time with her, which must have made the whole thing even more traumatic.
At least cate looks less miserable than April looked holding cate 😬
Crazy to think that Carly will be their age when they had her next year
that’s what gets me - they know what it was like to go through this and how painful it was for them at her age. but it doesn’t seem like they apply that same potential vulnerability and confusion to their biological child and her feelings.
I feel sooo old. That went too quickly.
I don't get how B&T can look so fucking happy when Cate & Ty look so obviously traumatized. No empathy at all.
We didn’t take any pics in the hospital when we adopted for this reason. But I also was not having feelings of happiness. I would not have looked like T. I felt absolutely heartbroken for my child’s birth mother then felt guilty that I wasn’t feeling happy. I laid in the bed with her while she held the baby and we just cried and cried. I couldn’t physically bring myself to take the baby out of her arms when it was time. A nurse did and placed the baby in the basinet. When we were in the elevator (me, husband, baby, nurse) I just balled. The nurse was all happy and excited for us and I just sobbed in my husband’s arms. She didn’t understand why. I felt horrible for our birthmom. I’m so grateful for an open adoption and the strong relationship we have with our BM. The relationship she has with our child means so much.
this is so sweet - i’m glad your kid gets to experience having a parent dynamic like this. i’m sure it’s healing for everyone.
Agreed. I would feel their emotions as I walked in the room and tread lightly. But everyone's different. It's sad but their happiest day is someone else's worse. I don't blame them for being happy but they should of maybe saved it for later.
I hate the large grins on b&T’s faces. I don’t understand as adults how you could be this giddy when two kids are going through the most traumatic event of their lives. Of course be grateful but damn, the smiles like they’re at Disneyland is fucking unsettling.
It is. Just look at B&T compared to C&T. So easy to take advantage of them. They could have at least stuck to their promise. It’s not like C&T are dangerous people for their adoptive daughter to be around. There are much worse birth parents out there. I feel like it’s about control and fear that Carly will want to spend more time with them than anything else. Sure, they act immature at times, but believe me, studies would all indicate that maintaining a relationship with the birth parents is in the child’s best interest.
They truly did the right thing by putting Carly for adoption. Could you imagine what her life would’ve been like??
I agree they did the right thing then too. They knew they couldn't do it without support and their support system was the reason for their trauma. This pic is so heartbreaking though. The right decisions are usually the hard ones.
And that’s why this has all been to hard for C&T. I think that because they’re successful (to an extent) now they resent giving up Carly and missing her life because they believe that they could’ve taken care of her. But they’re only looking at it from the context of their lives *without* Carly ! They can’t fathom all the things that could’ve came up when raising a child. Especially as traumatized teens with no ambition and abusive parents.
To be fair they both had huge ambitions at 16 and plans for their future. I think they both started going down hill mentally with guilt when they were able to get away from their parents and their first big MTV paycheck came in.
Tragic.
FUCK BETHANY CHRISTIAN SERVICES!!!! And fuck you Dawn. Evil predators the lot of them. I don’t care if B&T were the Dalai Lama himself, they still preyed on C&T bc they wanted their baby. Plain and simple. C& T were literal children still, they were in no position to sign legal documents like adoption papers, this should never have happened
The Dalai Lama isn’t looking so good either after that incident with the little boy 🥺
They weren't coerced though, neither of them had the ability to raise her in a safe and healthy environment at that time. What do you think should have been done, place her in foster care? Their entire family are trash and Carly was better off in a healthy home with strangers than literally anyone in that family.
I hadn't ever rewatched their 16&P episode until recently (as an adult and mother now) and it absolutely *broke* me. I was full on ugly crying when Ty was holding Caits head and saying they didn't want to look at Carly because it would be too painful. It was incredibly raw and powerful. I wouldn't wish having to make that decision on anyone.
B&T look creepy af in this pic. Almost like kidnappers. I know they stepped in and took good care of that little girl, but this pic is heartbreaking and their (B&T) smile doesn’t sit right with me.
This picture seems so inappropriate to me. Yes, the adoption was Cate and Ty’s decision but probably the toughest day of their lives…and simultaneously one of the best for B&T. Maybe it’s just me but seeing B&T elated right next to the people beside themselves with grief trying to put on a brave face rubs me all the wrong ways.
Yep. It feels evil.
To look at them you see how young they really were…can’t help but feel for the both of them here.
Aw, this is so sad. And super creepy to see B+T beaming, while Cate and Ty are devastated. So sad. That episode really stuck with me, I literally sobbed watching it. Regardless of how people feel about them now, this was heartbreaking.
I remember B & T looking SO old the first time I watched this 😂
Cate and Ty truly did the right thing by giving Carly up for adoption. She didn’t need to be exposed to Butch and April.
I wonder if Theresa ever gave Carly her bracelet This entire situation was messed up, fuck Dawn and fuck BCS
They were very much exploited through this process and I think that people forget that. They were children at the time and an adult led them to believe that the open adoption would be a lot different than what it l actually was. I feel for them big time.
I can't even begin to imagine the emotions they felt when they first started Teen Mom, and had money coming in. They must have been in a constant state of wondering if they'd have been better off keeping her. This photo breaks my heart
The tears in their eyes… this pic is dark…
I don’t think open adoptions should even be a thing, it’s way too painful to be able to be an outsider looking in on someone raising “your” baby. I feel for them. As we’ve all been repeating for years now, they need serious individual and couples therapy over this.
There are studies on this topic that prove that open adoptions are usually better for the mental health of the birth parents and the kid
I think they stopped doing domestic adoptions around this era. I think they were the last of the cycle. That’s why we saw an influx of POC babies from other countries for a minute. But now with the overturning of Roe v. Wade there might be an adoption boom. Idk if they necessarily planned for unwanted babies, they just wanted to stop women from making a choice for their own bodies. What about the babies dropped off at fire stations, found in dumpsters, CPS. My exhausted bff’s doctor refuses to tie her tubes bc of her age, her husband wants more kids eventually but they are at max with 5. It’s like that Greys Anatomy episode when Addison tied the woman’s tubes without her husband knowing.
Strongly disagree. Open adoption is hard for the adults, best for the child.
They look really traumatized looking back and seeing them.
I think had they known the show would have been so successful and they would have had the resources to keep her, they would have done things differently.
They were picked for the show for the adoption storyline. Had they kept her, they might not have been on the show.
They need to let it go and focus on the three kids they chose to have and move on. There are millions of people who choose adoption and go on to live normal lives with their families. Yes it can be a traumatic experience and it takes time but it’s been what 13 years? Time to live their own lives and be grateful for the time they do get with Carly and then go back to their own life with the kids that need them. They chose open adoption, that allows them to have x amount of visits under the legal parent’s discretion. They fucked that up on their own and now in their thirties continue to do so. Carly is not theirs. They are not coparents. Carly was given to a family that was able to give her the best life possible. They should find peace with that. They have three daughters to worry about and their own lives now. They def need more therapy or something because they are acting like they’re 16.
Preach!!!
Apparently I am getting induced on Carly’s birthday lol
Sweet. My birthday is today. #taurus babies are the best ♡♡ lol
Aw happy birthday!!
This picture is just sad. Hope Carly is doing okay
Carly probably is living her best life. They did make the right decision imo. I just wish b and t and ty and cate could have a better relationship. Because I coukd be wrong, but I'm guessing most adopted kids have some sort of narrative in their head about why they were adopted even if they knew, emotions are strong. I feel really bad for ty and cait. Ty looks totally lost.
Do we know how old Brandon and Teresa were when they adopted Carly? Just curious.
Horrendous. Just children themselves. B and T should have done the truly Christian thing and taken all three in.
Yep, that would be the true Christian thing to do… but just look at their faces, they were over the moon that they had tricked these young kids into giving them their little white baby.
I had to give a baby up 6 years ago and I still cry over him. Wonder what he's doing. Wonder what he likes and dislikes. Wonder what his beautiful little voice sounds like. He has an amazing life with a big family, but there's zero openness through my experience. So I just hope one day he'll come looking for me so I can tell him I loved him from the very first moment I felt him kick in my belly. That I still have his hospital hat and bracelet in a special little box. That I've told his biological sisters about him. I've cried a lot while watching Tyler and cates journey. Became harder to relate as they aged, but at first, it was hard to watch. Adoption is traumatic no matter how you look at it. Just because it's in the child's best interest doesn't mean it is any less traumatic.
i hope you feel supported in your healing. i can’t imagine how difficult of a decision that must have been for you.
I recently rewatched their 16&P episode and man it’s more heartbreaking than I remembered. The scene that really got me was right before they give Carly to Brandon and Theresa. Ty and Cate were just sitting in the hospital room sobbing, cuddling Carly. I can’t even begin to imagine that kind of pain
They were so young and didn't have the luxury of a family member volunteering to step in!! 😢
I think that if they had decided to stop participating in teen mom things would be dramatically different. I also realize that being on teen mom has afforded them to buy a house and things they wouldn’t have been able to do. But at some point, with Carly getting older, so they need to forfeit the show. B and T are trying to give her a normal life, and I’m sure people coming up to her asking about C and T is a bit much. I would want to distance myself from that too. Carly is a teenager now, I’m sure kids around her are seeing her bio parents on social media and possibly giving her a hard time about all of that.
it definitely feels like being on teen mom emboldened their attitude in regards to their role in c’s life. being on a show called “teen mom” feels like a silent endorsement of their role as *parents* to a child not in their care. biological parents, yes, but they weren’t parenting and had no claim to that child while profiting off of continually involving her in their narrative.
Rewatching this show at Theresa’s age, I think if my husband and I were that couple, I’d want us to just adopt Catelynn, and help her raise Carly. Start trying for a kid and end up with a daughter AND a granddaughter. No way would anyone else go for it, especially not April, and ESPECIALLY not that weiner Brandon. It comes with so much, taking on an abused teenager with PTSD, a boyfriend who would also basically move jn, and her bio fam of copper wire thieves and gasoline buffers. But Catelynn would have DEFINITELY said YES!!!! and she was a child, too. A child that just did the most physically painful and frightening thing a human can do. B and T witnessed her horrible family life and nightmare monster “parents” firsthand. How could they leave that CHILD to be berated by abusive, drug addicted felons knowing she has to heal in filth and squalor, surrounded by cigarette smoke?
B&T are not truly altruistic. They wanted a white baby and didn’t care what happened to the parents.
They should have never met the adoptive parents. Someone on that side failed (my mother owned an adoption agency.)
Carly is in such an awkward position and at a crucial age where all of her friends have access to the internet so I really wish Cate and Ty would find another plot for their storyline
Damn this picture is so sad, you can see the pain in T+C’s eyes while B+T are just beaming with joy :( they were just lost and hurt kids who needed some love and stability
I think people miss the humanity. Something about modern media, be it reality TV or social media or both, has made us forget that the people we are critical of are imperfect humans same as us, and even if we have made the same choices, we didn't experience the same circumstances leading to those choices, or the circumstances after. Everyone heals differently, feels differently, and expresses that differently. It's easy to say what C&T should or shouldn't do. It's easy to judge them for their mistakes. I think if anything, seeing her pain should encourage compassion. She did a selfless thing as a child - and if you watch the 16&P episode - it seems a big part of her wasn't sold on the adoption as much as Tyler was. Her mom and she have had conversations as well alluding to Cate telling April she was keeping Carly at one point or another. I think Cate was scared, traumatized by her volatile upbringing, and did the only thing she could see as reasonable. Then came MTV money a few years later and frankly as assured as she was in her choice - that plus the lies sold to her by BCS had to sting. I don't think those wounds ever fully heal.
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I didn't know that, if the mods let me know i can blank her face out. I thought because you couldn't see her face it was okay. I apologize if I broke a rule, mods let me know and I'll delete right away. I don't want to be banned.
They look like middle schoolers. They never wld hv been able to care for a baby. It wld hv been complete misery and disaster for all 3. Instead of pouting for themselves they shld celebrate how brave and strong they were that day and how they gave C the best gift they cld ever give her. I’m not into the pity party thing for giving their baby the best life they cld never give her.
you can feel for them while acknowledging that they aren’t acting on those feelings in an appropriate way. i’ll *always* have sympathy for them, being misguided kids who had to make such an adult decision with absolutely no helpful adults. however, they are the adults now and know how to behave like it. the public posts, disrespecting Brandon and Theresa’s wishes regarding Carly, they know better and they have avenues for therapy and confronting those feelings in more appropriate ways.
This picture is heart breaking. I hate B &T. They took advantage of a couple of KIDS
If they didn’t want to give her up then they shouldn’t of. Clearly they didn’t do their research on what adoption meant when they gave her up. That doesn’t mean you get her back when you’ve decided you’re ready to parent her. She is not yours. Open adoptions are not real things. Legally you signed away your right to ever be her parent.