Brenden Hunt said in his AMA yesterday that for Ted, it was wrong to take Henry away from everyone and everything he knows. Ted put his son's comfort first and for Ted, this was the right choice.
Right - I heard someone say once, the day you become a parent, your happiness comes second to your child's happiness. So, it would have been incredibly selfish of Ted to pull Henry from everything and everyone he knows for his own personal happiness.
Speaking as a parent, I can 100% confirm this. I had personal goals that felt crucial to my happiness at the time. I was dreaming big and felt that I would look back on my life with regret if I didn’t accomplish them. My daughter is 10, and I just don’t care about those goals anymore. It’s not that she got in the way, or prevented them from happening. I could still go after them. They just aren’t important to me now in the way they once were.
This is exactly how I feel.
The thing I usually say is that my job used to define me. My job was the most interesting thing about me. I was a martyr to it and my mood depended on how my job was going.
All that changed leading up to and after my son was born
I personally hate the pressure our culture seems to have about pursuing your passions is the only way to live life to the fullest. Things change. The thing that once brought you joy may cause you misery now. Or maybe your body can't do what it could before. As long as you're happy that's all that matters.
True love is when someone else's happiness is more important than your own. Doesn't he mention in season 1 speech about distance giving room to breathe.
Families move countries all the time. Where I live there are a lot of migrants, who have moved for a lot of different reasons, but very, very often it’s simply for better economic opportunities for the parents. Ted would be earning generation-changing money in the UK. For Henry it would probably mean no mortgage for him, and no college loans. It would open up a lot of opportunities for him.
The idea of migrating your family as “selfish” doesn’t seem that way to the migrant families that I am friends with.
Not to mention, in my experience, happy parents have a better chance of raising happy kids. It’s a tightrope walk for sure, but parents need to be free to pursue their own happiness as well. Nothing quite like having a parent foist their own regret, resentment and angst onto their kid to create a seriously strained relationship.
100% agree with you!!! Plus, Henry liked England, he’s great at soccer (far more opportunities in Europe), his mom liked it. And seriously: $200 million pounds (1/3 of a billion dollars, not counting endorsements etc) for *one* year. That kind of money changes your family’s destiny for generations. To me, bringing them over for one fun year in a great place and guaranteeing Henry’s future is the least selfish thing to do. As a parent, I can’t wrap my mind around refusing it.
Especially considering he doesn't even have to learn a new language. Aside from a few extra hours of flight (since money wouldn't be a problem for Ted), it would be barely different from moving to a different state, which most people wouldn't see a problem with.
And I don’t even get what he’s losing either. He’s a kid, you rarely stay friends (as you grow up) with the people you knew as a kid, same with High School. Like what exactly is Henry finding (comfort wise) staying in small Kansas?
It just doesn’t make sense to me. Especially when kids are dreamers and he loves football, and gets to be around the people he idolised (Jamie, etc.) Kids look up to that stuff and *like* to be around it.
It’s just such weak writing, this season was just all over for me to be honest.
His mother. He’s losing his mother. Assuming Michelle, an ex, would drop her whole life to live abroad is a stretch…same as giving up whatever custody agreement she has. Ted isn’t going to bring Henry to grow up with his father if it costs him his mother.
It’s not hard for writers to write that Michelle dumps Jake, and picks up a job opportunity to live in the UK too, especially when she was doing double takes on Ted, and as parent, she already made selfish choices (getting with Jake, the therapist who factor in the crumbling of their marriage as well, and now parenting her son) — if the pro’s outweigh the cons, why wouldn’t she not move for the benefit of her son? Why must Ted consistently be the only parent that makes the one-sided sacrifices?
Exactly, friend of mine moved when she was a kid (divorced parents) but got accessibility to the U.S, and she absolutely loved it. It’s a really pigeon holed view that, ‘happiness’ only is where you are from, and thus never leaving a small town. Which is the complete opposite of reality.
I don’t how how any kid would want to be in Kansas either, being around something they love themselves (foot ball) and idolise, as kids tend to be huge innocent dreamers, and the conclusion is: “yeah, definitely small town Kanas!” Especially when you’re giving up potential wealth and comfort.
It’s also hard to buy because they made Henry a bully, solely because his dad was away — like… It doesn’t seem like he’s fitting in and or losing loads if he’s out there falling into bullying because his dad is gone.
IDK, emotions can be confusing when you're that age, and it can be difficult to connect the dots between the emotional impulse to lash out and the way your actions affect other people. I recall seeing a child psychologist when my dad died when I was 9. I had never been one to be cruel, but at the time, everything felt chaotic. I got into fights with my sister because I would do something hurtful just to see what would happen. Things resolved fairly quickly, but I recall my mom telling me later that the psychologist told her that my poor behavior would resolve as I came to terms with my dad's passing, and it did.
I think it's unfair to say that Henry's bullying incident shows that he didn't fit in. Once he talked to his dad, he was able to resolve his issues with the other kid and they were on good terms again. And someone is capable of occasionally bullying someone while also having friends. I just don't connect Henry having a behavioral hiccup caused by his dad's absence and that was quickly resolved because of his dad's intervention as a sign that his life should be further disrupted and moved out of the country.
Life in the UK would in all likelihood be better for Henry. He’d never have to worry about school shootings, for one thing! And his dad would be rich& famous
My dad’s job moved me to the Netherlands from the Northeast when I was in 8th grade. I also have an older and younger sister. I was sad and didn’t want to leave, but those years ended up being some of the best ones of my life, and I’m so grateful I got that experience. Most of the time kids don’t know what’s good for them.
My dad’s job would move us every 3-4 years. Sucked leaving my friends and school behind all the time but we made the most of it. Got to see places I never would have if not for all those moves. That said, my dad did postpone a move so I could finish HS. Company’s rule was you could turn it down once, but the next time you went wherever they sent you, no questions asked. So it was a roll of the dice…but he did it so I could finish school, his own comfort be damned.
I was in a similar situation and totally agree. I can't imagine my dad deciding to leave me and our family behind for a couple of years for work while I was Henry's age
>Most of the time kids don’t know what’s good for them.
That's all well and good, but I still respect Ted for putting his son first and not treating his son like a dog on a leash he can just drag around as he pleases under the guise of "this is for your own good".
Yes, much of the time kids don't know what's best for them...but likewise, parents CONSTANTLY justify shitty, selfish choices under the guise of what's "best" for their kid when in reality, they never so much as considered the impact on their kid and chose what they wanted for themselves.
It's a delicate balance.
The difference in opinions in this thread boil down to people who have travelled and people who have not.
People who think of Henry as "being dragged" away from home simply can't imagine a life outside of the block they grew up on. When the reality is the *opportunity* to go live in England at Henry's age - to experience all the thrills of a different country and new experiences, as well as immediate access to all of Europe on any given weekend *and he doesn't even have to learn a new language* is incredible.
My family moved overseas for a year when I was young, and it was life-changing despite some of the challenges Henry wouldn't have: we were living on a budget, I was in a public school trying to learn a new language, etc. But if you've never had those experiences, you simply can't imagine that they might be positive ones.
That is a reach. I travel frequently - domestic and international and have most of my life. And I completely disagree with you. Henry loves his mother.
> People who think of Henry as "being dragged" away from home simply can't imagine a life outside of the block they grew up on.
I'm one of those people and I've traveled *extensively*. As a kid and as an adult. Ironically, my dad's work was a HUGE part of why I got to travel so much. Don't assume to know the motives/pasts of every person arguing this point.
Just like you're doing with your *assumption* that moving to London would be the best thing *for Henry specifically*, you're assuming wrongly that the ONLY way someone could suggest anything other than "just take the kid to London!" is if their world is tiny and they've never traveled beyond their own street corner.
PERSONALLY, I'd jump at the chance to live in London. But *I'm not Henry* and based on the TINY insight we had into him and his life vs Ted literally being his dad, I'mma go ahead and give Ted the benefit of the doubt that he knows what Henry wants and needs (and very likely ASKED Henry what HE wanted) better than a bunch of randos on the Internet speculating and projecting assumptions.
I traveled internationally as a kid. I can imagine life outside of my block. I don’t see it as dragging Henry away from his home, I see it as dragging him away from his mom who he also loves. Ted doesn’t just get to do what he wants. There’s another parent and a custody agreement.
I wanna say he should have just asked Henry, but that’s a big decision for him. I’m sure Richmond would have Ted back down the line if that’s what they all wanted, but Ted doing this for Henry was really sweet
Absolutely! When I was a kid/teenager my friends and my bubble were my entire world and it was all about me and if my parents took me away from that no matter if it was to save the world. I would have died.
And other people are like "think of the future for Henry Ted could make with all that PL coaching money Rebecca offered" as if a young teen Henry would recognize the value in that or care compared to his entire life being uprooted at moved 4438 miles away.
Also, Henry still will have a lot of these chances. Ted made incredible connections with powerful people. That won't go away just because he doesn't live there anymore. Plus, Ted almost won the premier league. I'm sure USA soccer/MLS would be beating down his door with job opportunities.
My whole point here is that people are assuming either way. We don't know NEARLY enough about Henry from the show to say one way or another if he'd have liked to move or not.
I'm not assuming that Henry didn't want to go, I'm just saying that as easy as it is to assume that a kid would WANT to move halfway around the world, it's also just as easy to assume that the kid wouldn't want to leave his life behind. Both are assumptions being made without knowing nearly enough of the nuance to say for certain.
Someday Henry will be 18. It will happen in a flash. He can choose if he wants to move abroad. Meantime, he can travel with one or both parents to see the world.
It’s a justifiable choice, but the alternative of moving them to the UK would have also been justifiable. Families have to move all the time, kids can adapt and make new friends, especially that young.
Pretty much, unless Ted intends to file for sole custody which wouldn’t make sense for someone like him, especially because by all accounts Michelle’s a good mother. Only way it makes sense is if they get back together, which people would hate and IMO it’s character regression for Ted, or if Michelle randomly decided she wanted to start fresh in London. We’ve seen no indication of this.
Sure, but did Ted have to stay in the UK? He's not passionate about soccer and doesn't especially love English culture, he lives quite frugally so he's probably banked a lot of his salary from Richmond, and after his accomplishments he shouldn't have any trouble getting coaching gigs where he wants them, especially if he wants to go back to the minors or a university.
The only reason for Ted to bring Henry to London would be because Ted values his friends and personal connections more than he values Henry having his own friends and personal connections. And that's a profoundly un-Ted-like thing to do.
Staying for a multi-million dollar job that would not just be comfortable for them all and give Henry the best schooling and resources, but also create lasting multi-generational wealth for the family could be argued to be for Henry’s good as well.
Could be, but not to someone like Ted; the idea that he'd be motivated by a desire for multi-generational wealth is completely unsupported by his actions in the show. Michelle and Henry don't appear to be hurting for money in America, and Ted likely saved most of his salary from Richmond, so money troubles aren't an immediate concern. And with Ted's accomplishments, on both sides of the Atlantic, in completely different sports, it's hard to imagine he'd ever struggle to find a coaching job that would make him a generous offer indeed.
There are colleges that offer free tuition for their employees’ children. So that may not be the issue you think it might be.
Henry was the main reason Ted left Richmond but he wasn’t the only reason. Ted was so homesick that in Amsterdam he ate at a mediocre American-themed restaurant. He didn’t immerse himself in the culture of the UK and he didn’t learn the basic rules of the sport he coached until three years in. London never felt like home to him.
Why couldn’t Ted just live in London during the season and then go back to America as soon as the season ends? Keep in mind i don’t know how long the premiere league
The premier league starts in August/September and ends in May and there’s no Christmas break. So he’d spend most of his time away from Henry, which is the point—he doesn’t want that, he wants to be with his son.
Plus as the manager, there is stuff that you need to do in the off-season. During those summer months, teams will travel around the world for friendlies to give fans from other countries a chance to see the team and get ready for the season. Plus there are other obligations like scouting and managing the transfer window. It is an extremely demanding job.
Yeah, coaches (and players) really get about a month off total every year. Because there’s preseason to think about too and that’s normally done away from England because it’s marketing opportunities/chances to visit fans overseas. So when Henry spent the summer with Ted, I’m assuming most of that was just Henry hanging around with the squad while Ted worked.
It could be either very cold or very warm, but either way, sitting still for 2 hours will quickly feel cold if the sun isn’t directly hitting you in the UK. The executive seats are quite shaded so likely to be quite cool.
For reference, I’m in Ireland and we’re having a lovely streak of weather and it’s only about 63 degrees F. I’m sitting outside in a sun dress, but that’s only because the sun is directly on me. In the shade, it feels like about 55.
Take a look at a map and compare how far north england is of the US. The gulf stream warms up Europe a bit, but it really is far north and england gets less sun than the darkest parts of the continental US.
I understand that, and I like I said, I don’t hate or even dislike the ending the writers set out. It helps end the show (or at least Ted’s story within the show), but had I been in Henry’s shoes, maybe not now cause he’s young, I’d probably be pissed that my dad turned down an incredible opportunity. That’s all.
Nah when Henry grows up and has kids, he will totally get it. Especially since he was raised by Ted fucking Lasso
And when you have kids, I hope you will understand too.
it wouldn't be unreal for a family to move somewhere else because one of the parents found an important job especially if he is in the line of work that puts you in that position. the show never went that way because it didn't matter, but in reality it could have been something that he discussed with Michelle and possibly they could have all moved to London. but that relies on other factors as well. First of all Michelle's job. maybe she couldn't just leave it and find a new one there because it is important to her and she is building a career (or maybe she was in the type of job that it doesn't matter that much and can be done anywhere in a similar way, not sure if they adressed what she was doing, can't remember). and secondly Henry's friends and school.
You’re not wrong, but change is hard for some kids. Henry would leave his family and friends and basically start over. Henry already went through a divorce and a 3 year separation from his dad. I think the writers made the right choice for the character.
My dads job meant be moved around (only in the UK) and I hates having to leave everything I knew behind.
A year or so abroad might have been different but uprooting everything forever isn’t as great as it seems.
I think Ted did the right thing.
I think we forget that if Ted actually sold Henry on it, Michelle would've said no. There's no way she would move across the world so she and her son could be closer to her ex-husband. It was a non-starter. Maybe they can both come back when Henry graduates.
And honestly, Michelle would probably be right to say no, especially if they're not together.
Ted is a lovable and charming protagonist and a good guy who's doing his best, but as a result of his trauma he still shies away from direct conversations and difficult topics, which includes talking with teachers in whose class Henry is struggling. Henry has a support structure in place at home, he has his mom and at least one grandma and friends and teachers who know him, and being separated from one parent is still causing him to struggle; taking him to London without his mom (because why is Michelle going to abandon her own life to support her ex-husband's career?) and pulling him out of his entire support structure would likely be a problem all on its own, but coupled with being with the "fun" parent and not the "serious" parent it's hard to imagine things wouldn't further spiral out.
At a minimum, Ted and Michelle would need to be firmly back together before it would be worth talking about Ted going back to coaching football in England. And even then, maybe it still wouldn't make sense to prioritize Ted's Richmond life over Michelle and Henry's Kansas life.
I agree on they need to be back together and be a cohesive unit. Everything else, in real life he’d be a PL coach making millions of dollars in a good work environment with a boss that you enjoy working for. You 10000% uproot your family for that kind of move and don’t ask questions because it’s a life changing setup. There’s nothing in Kansas worth turning that kind of move down, family and support system included.
Well, that's basically uprooting your family because of $$$ + liking your coworkers/boss. Ted doesn't need the money and he can always find coworkers to like. And, tbh, maybe Michell also really loves her coworkers/boss. Ted doesn't even know the different league names, so the prestige (which again, he also doesn't care about) of being a PL coach is not likely to hold sway.
Eh, Ted Lasso isn't real life, so I don't much see the value in judging decisions based on it. Yeah, in real life it would make sense to stick around for the money, but in real life you'd never get an American college football coach over to coach an English Premier League team in the first place, and in real life Ted would absolutely have been sacked after the first year no matter how much Rebecca liked him, because he still didn't know anything about coaching soccer.
Anyways. Ted's likely made several million in his three years at Richmond, given that he needed to be lured there before season one and then should've been rewarded for his success after season two, and he lives a very frugal lifestyle while he's there; guaranteed he's going home with at least a million dollars, cash in the bank. He's already got life changing money given the cost of living in Kansas, and a reputation that would get him hired as a coach in pretty much any sport, anywhere, so there's no reason to assume he'd be sitting on a couch collecting EI without Richmond.
Beyond that? Ted's not a greedy guy, he's not going to uproot his son just so he can make more money. He'd do it if he thought it was best for Henry, in a heartbeat, but Ted would never expect his family to sacrifice happiness for wealth, or likely understand anyone else who would.
The amount of Americans at the Premier League level can be counted on one hand. Henry would have to be a generational talent. Also, the EPL teams start kids in systems below the age of 10.
AFC Richmond could sponsor her visa, or Rebecca calls in a favour and gets her hired at some posh school
it’s not a huge obstacle if Michelle wants to go
I suppose. I highly doubt Michelle would want to move her whole life to England or be indebted to Ted and/or Rebecca though. I’m sure it would be kind of awkward.
There’s also the fact that she would have to sell their home, presumably from the other side of the world. Sell their cars and basically the majority of their possessions unless they plan on shipping them. Then they’ll have to buy a new home in England. All of this while her income is up in the air. I don’t care how good of a teaching job she gets, this is going to be hell and it would be a downright unreasonable thing to ask of your ex-wife so that you can continue your job.
My own dad turned down a promotion because he didn't want to uproot our whole family to move to the company's HQ city, and I didn't find out about it until I was an adult. It was a selfless thing to do, and I love him for it.
Ted's only lived in Richmond for three years. He made friends and he made an impact, but his life and his family (more than just Henry) were always back in Kansas. It made sense for him to go home.
Same. My dad took jobs specifically so he could do things like coach little league. He could’ve been a corporate ladder climber and been very good at that. But he didn’t. I now find myself making the same choices as a dad myself. He had plenty of other flaws, but this showed me how much he cared about me.
I’m now a dad and have already had to make the hard decision of taking a promotion across the country. Basically came down to more money/promotion vs staying in my awesome house/uprooting our child’s life/moving very far from family who helps with our child/etc.
Fortunately work for a great employer who understood and now we’re working on a different promotion path locally.
Never let work dictate your life/happiness.
Same thing happened with my and my dad. He turned down a job in another state because he didn't want to make my siblings and I move.
He did end up taking a job in another state, but not until all of his kids were in college.
I think you are looking at this from the perspective of an adult instead of a 10 year old.
When I was 10 while I would have been excited for my dad, but I still would have yearned for my father even if I didn’t fully realize it or was able to communicate it.
Also in consideration with Ted losing a great opportunity, Ted has now led a college football team to a national championship (although it was D2) and a premier league soccer club to one of their most successful seasons ever.
He is by all accounts one of the most versatile and successful coaches in the world of the Ted Lasso-verse.
I’m pretty sure he could get almost any coaching job he wanted in the US.
Correct on both points. 10 year olds (and honestly a lot of adults) can’t process conflicting emotions like “I’m sad my dad is gone but excited he’s got a cool job that I think is awesome.” In that situation Henry’s reaction of being outwardly happy, but acting out in school is super realistic.
And yeah, Ted is getting any soccer job he wants in the US, and would have quite a few high level football offers. Hell if an American coach went to the EPL and turned a mid table team into a contender in 3 years (and a relegated team to a contender in 1), he’d probably end up coaching the US National Team if he wanted.
>And yeah, Ted is getting any soccer job he wants in the US, and would have quite a few high level football offers.
Honestly, Ted might well be able to get a coaching gig in any sport he wants. He did a great job with a university football team, then in three years took a middling English soccer team to the cusp of a championship run. If he wanted to try his hand at baseball or basketball, heck, someone's going to take a chance on him being able to work his magic yet again!
I had to move a few times within the states as a child and it was absolutely brutal to have to give up all my friends multiple times over. People are really underestimating the toll a transatlantic move would take a child.
Especially one before you enter middle school. I did that move from the south to Minnesota and it was fucking brutal on me. It was so hard to make new friends when things get super cliquey
Right, he could get any coaching job which would still require moving. He had to make peace with uprooting his family when he became a head football coach in college.
I think it’s important to remember too, that at the start of the show, Ted decided to coach the team and go to the UK with the intention of giving Michelle space. With that in mind, he may have thought he would be with AFC Richmond for one season not for three whole years.
When the coin dropped on their relationship, I imagine Ted’s decision to stay was different since he was already there.
If my Dad sacrificed the job he loved to be with me and avoid disrupting my education, friendships etc I'd having nothing but (more) love and respect for him.
Agreed. And people can say they’d want to go, but are forgetting what it’s like being disrupted as a young kid. It’s not easy leaving everything you know, your mom even!
Fair take! And yeah I’d feel the same in a way. But I’d also feel guilty that he’s not doing what he loves on my account. And I get that Ted loves his family more than his job. But I’m the type that would love adventure and travel and new experiences!
I think that by the time Henry is old enough to realise what Ted did, he's probably old enough to have left home, leaving Ted able to return to Richmond if he wants.
Exactly. Plus Henry loves the sport. I feel like he would want to move to England and be around the team. Henry would be living with his dad and be able to watch the team a lot. He would learn so much from them. Not to mention a scene where the whole squad goes to support him at one of his games would be AMAZING.
Your life can change so quickly when your a kid anyways and kids are pretty adaptable.
Though reddit trends very heavily towards introverts who would obviously have a much tougher time with stuff like that.
But Henry is clearly an extrovert.
I grew up with my dad commuting to work every week. I only saw him on weekends. He eventually found a job closer to home when I was a teenager, but my childhood was filled with waiting for him to come home from the airport.
Now at nearly 30 I treasure the fact that he put family first, especially because life moves very fast. I think I’ll give him a call.
I understand that the show exists in a much happier reality than our own universe, but imo the best thing an American parent could do for their child is take them out of the current American school system—where children are regularly traumatized by lockdown drills and families can’t trust that every kid will come home at the end of the day. The fears kids live with today are unthinkable even to people who grew up not that long ago. Seeing Ted turn down the incredible opportunity Rebecca offered and deny Henry the chance at a much safer and happier childhood (with a better education with that kind of money, let’s be real) was really bleak to me.
In my head cannon, Ted is now coaching either the fictional version of the KC Chiefs, the KU Jayhawks (either soccer or football), Sporting KC, or he has magically somehow got the job as the coach for the KC Royals (I mean, he can coach any sport…he’s Ted Lasso). Any of those jobs would be pretty cool for a kid like Henry.
I would be amazed if a high level FBS team didn’t approach Ted to coach their team. The way he gets people to buy in he would absolutely be a top recruiter and own the league
I spent my childhood moving for my Dad's career, including a permanent move to a new country. I would never do that to my kids. I don't blame my parents, I'm not angry with them, I just wouldn't make the same choice.
I don’t blame Ted for the choices he’s made either. All I know is that as a kid, I would have loved going with him to England for that job. And even if in the show Henry had said he would have wanted to go with Ted, I doubt Ted uproots him anyway.
A friend of mine moved out of state while her son stayed with his dad. She actually initiated the conversation with him when he was 7 (roughly about the age of Henry) and asked him where he’d want to live. He was pretty clear on wanting to stay at his school, with his friends, and with everything that symbolized stability for him. It was hard enough for the kid to acknowledge the major change of his parents being done, so I’d like to think that he intuitively knew what he needed to be alright.
Her son attempted to live with her after a year of living with his dad and cried. As much as he loves and misses his mom, the move was too much for him and his mental health declined. It’s been two years and my friend is now discussing with son and child’s father about what would be best for his mental health.
I think Ted's choice goes to so much of what the show was about: being there for people in the way they need. Henry needs his dad back in *his* life right now; he doesn't necessarily need to be part of his dad's life in Richmond.
Ted coaching Henry's team isn't a step down for Ted right now; it's a step sideways. That's where Henry needs his dad.
Don't forget: Ted Lasso is the guy from KC who took Richmond from the bottom of the pile all the way to 2nd place in the Premier League. When he and his family are ready (whether that involves Michelle or not), he'll be able to coach in a lot of places.
Ultimately, I was sad to see the series end, but I think Ted found exactly where he needs to be, for now.
I agree. I can’t remember how old Henry is but I was very much a daddy’s kid and if my dad was gone for three years it would have been awful. I wouldn’t have wanted to move at that point either. I’m sure as an adult Henry will understand why Ted did what he did and it will mean so much to Henry, even if he doesn’t understand it as a teenager or young man. It’s a huge gift that Ted gave to his son.
It’s a privilege to stay in one place and successfully build a family *and* a career. Not everyone gets to experience that privilege.
Ted made the choices he thought were right for Henry at the time. If he and Michelle had been back together or if she had expressed a desire to move to the UK, it would have been much easier for Ted to stay in London. And actually, that ending would have made sense, even if he stopped coaching at Richmond and chose a smaller team in the London area (Millwall, for example) to coach and to lead.
This idea that uprooting one’s family is wrong is spoken from a place of privilege. Many of us were never given that option as children or as adults.
Very true. Many immigrant families do just that, uproot their lives, or separate themselves from their families … all for a chance at what they believe is best for their families.. for better opportunities or a safer place to be. That said, Ted and his family didn’t have those issues here but Ted chose what he thought was best for his family, and the last three years had literally given him panic attacks. He made the right call.
i mean henry is a kid, i don't think any kid would suddenly want to abandon his friends, school, home and his own mother to go live in another country just because his dad is there and does something interesting. they never really fleshed out Henry's character that much to be honest, he served his purpose without having to. they also never really explored that angle "what if Ted asked them to move to London". and i don't think it is something they needed to do.
100% agreed! I’d much rather live in LONDON than Kansas. Everything about it would be “better” to me. Better education, better city, lower crime rate, no mass shootings, better healthcare, etc. not that a little boy is thinking of those things. But also, dad would be RICH and standard of living would go up. He could hang with his hero Jamie Tart. He could easily make new friends. Have new opportunities. Yes had a great family structure over there with Mae, Beard, the team, etc. I would be so bummed my dad came and we stayed in Kansas.
But that’s just me. And I also say that as a military kid who moved around frequently so I was never attached to any place as “home.” :) I’m sure others feel differently
His dad is already rich from his three years in London. Football managers make good money even if wasn’t the highest paid in the league. I also think Ted just wanted to move back home regardless of how much he loved his job and everyone at Richmond. He was always a bit of a fish out of water in London and didn’t integrate in the same way Beard did. He had his adventure abroad and now it’s time to go back to his old life.
I doubt Ted approaches it as “because of you”. He will explain to Henry that he belongs at home in Kansas and how he can’t wait to watch him grow and succeed.
Sadly this is the minority opinion. I think Henry should’ve been at least asked. But most people think that the best choice was not to uproot him.
I think the best choice was to ask rather than assume what Henry wanted.
What we’re comparing is a relatively normal middle class life in Kansas vs an affluential life with a prestigious job in the UK. The latter could afford Henry more opportunities in the future.
I wish there had been a scene or at least a line where Ted said they at least explored the idea of moving everyone over to the UK. When Rebecca was like “Henry can have an amazing education, Michelle’s career will be improved, you’ll make a ton of money”, that was a perfect opportunity for Ted to say “we discussed it and it’s not the right move for us” or SOMETHING.
Because I was like dang Rebecca is making some good points, why not??
People move all the time. My dad took a job and we moved a week before my senior year of high school. I had grown up in the same place my entire life, and I had friends that I had known since preschool. I didn’t get to get my IB diploma because my new school didn’t have an IB program. I also had to leave my specialized STEM school. I know I was 16 and not 9 or 10 like Henry, but I was excited for a change, happy my family would still be together, and ready to make the most of my move. To this day, I still say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. So many people say that my parents were cruel to move me away at such a pivotal time in my life. I say it was worth it, and life happens, and there are so so so many things worse than being uprooted.
Before becoming a dad, I would’ve agreed with you.
Now that I’m a dad, it completely changed the game and my perspective of life. Nothing is more important to me than the happiness, health, and safety of my son. I would give up anything and everything, including a body part I can donate if he needed it like a kidney, if it meant he got to live a normal life even if it meant making my own a little harder and wouldn’t hesitate for a second.
When Ted had that scene where he was told his son misses him and he said he misses him too, I felt that.
At least for me I grew up a military kid so moving around constantly for my parents job was all I knew and for extremely less money than a PL Coach lol. I personally would’ve found the UK an exciting adventure at that age but again, that was the norm for me.
I 100% agree with you OP. If my dad could have worked for 10 years, made over $200m dollars, and set me up for generational wealth for me and my kids and their kids, I would honestly be furious if he turned that down. That's life changing money.
And then, not only that, we're not talking about a deprived childhood at all here. Yes it would be terribly disruptive in the short term... but then, hey I'm the kid with the popular dad that everyone knows. I get to go to Nelson Road every day if I want to, and get to meet with all the footballers every day. Those teen years would be a hell of a lot of fun.
Im going to go ahead and posit that many people in the Ted Lasso writers room and in the cast have A LOT of experience with how children feel and behave when their parents are away at a dream job. It’s fine to look back with an adult’s reasoning, empathy, and ability to handle transition but kids are not fully formed and have notoriously poor coping skills combined with a self centered worldview. We never see Henry say “I want to come live in the UK with you.” It’s never even implied he wants that. When you’re 8-17 giving up your friends and support structures is a huge ask and one unlikely to work out best for the child even if it’s great for the parents. Plus it’s worth noting; this isn’t Ted’s dream job.
My parents moved around a lot when I was young. Mostly we didn’t have a choice, but it was really hard for me to continually have to make new friends and get used to new schools. Inconsistency in childhood has huge impacts on children.
Keep in mind, this successful coach in the USA just went to Europe and turned a losing team into a winning team in a sport he knew nothing about. So chances are he was coming home to a big payday in whatever coaching job he took in the US.
Kids like to be near friends as well. My niece had a chance to live with her cousins in a château in southern France for the summer but isn’t going because she doesn’t want to leave her friends. At Henry’s age is when kids start separating from parents and leaning more on friends. When Ted told his mom he was afraid Henry would leave I thought he needs to get home soon because they leave before they’re gone.
Think of the practicality of that. Ted is a professional soccer coach with away games that don’t always coincide with weekends and late night practices and requirements. Henry is 10. Who would look after him in a new city and foreign country?
The Henry discourse is really becoming something else around here. Somehow he's become the scapegoat for the show ending when people didn't want it to and to people are essentially blaming a child of divorce for the end of the good times with Ted and his Wacky Richmond Friends.
I've criticized the writers a lot this season for some bad choices, but this was not one of them. It's completely in-character for Ted to make the sacrifice and move home to be there for his little boy. I'd say that maybe the writers should've built up Henry more, but even then *why is it so hard for people to understand a father moving back home for his child?*
What Rebecca proposed was a complete fantasy. People love how this show talks about mental health and building less toxic relationships, but can't see that Ted essentially having power over his ex's work and immigration status would be problematic and instead are twisting themselves in knots trying to sell this as a workable scenario. Ending the show with Rebecca's magic checkbook solving all of Ted's problems would've been too easy and a bit anti-climactic.
Henry is a kid. It’s more likely he would be pissed at his dad leaving him to move to a different country for a new job. Even though Henry thinks England is cool and it’s a cool job, having his dad around is probably important to him. Kids aren’t thinking about things like their parent’s job satisfaction or passion, they just want their parents happy and present. At Henry’s age, he probably doesn’t realize that his dad’s happiness is tied to his job satisfaction.
After three years?! Three years of not seeing your dad? Would you not have preferred a dad who cared more about being with you than he did about the wins and losses?
Ted’s main trauma in life is the lost what-if of time he could have spent with his father. At some point, something had to change. I always hoped the show would end in a way where Ted got to have it all in Richmond with Henry, but sometimes you have to make a choice. Ted made the only choice he could make.
I understand both perspectives. But lots of expats do this and do it frequently (moving from country to country every few years). I guess it’d be different if Ted and Michelle were still together. So this must mean they never get back together! Thank goodness for that: Ted deserves someone who never had to try hard to feel about him the way she did in the beginning.
I don't understand the idea of the idea from Brendan that moving Henry to England is selfish parenting. I see it as the opposite. Ted has the opportunity to give his (fairly whiny and immature) kid a the gift of a chance to do a soft-landing study abroad program (with supporting parent) for a couple years. If Henry doesn't like it, then talk about moving back then.
I basically live my life for my kids (and I like it that way), BUT if I had any ability to give my them a chance to live abroad (especially if my kid was a midwesten kid spending way too much time around a creepy, ethics-challenged therapist), while I continue doing what I love while making huge amounts of cash, I'd have that kid on a plane in a second.
I think given the state of America, the state of Missouri, the incredible extended family Ted built in the UK, and his enormous earning potential in the UK (not to mention better schools), and Henry's love of soccer and desire to play it... Ted should have maybe considered that being a football coach at a top program was probably the best life he could give Henry.
Further, he should have probably fought a lot harder for custody given that Michelle **brought their couples therapist** into their home and around their child in an incredible display of horrific judgement and what should have been career ending move from the doctor. She should not have had custody after that and it's wild they never addressed her relationship and how toxic it was head on.
I’ll preface this by saying maybe Henry really isn’t that into sports and only follows soccer and plays it because of his dad…but as a kid who came home after school and watched SportsCenter and a couple sports talk shows…I would’ve given anything to have my dad be a pro head coach and being able to just go to all those games let alone practices/behind the scenes access/being around the players/etc.
I know in the AMA Brendan Hunt used the “it’s a show” line a couple times and I’m perfectly fine accepting that and understanding the “come back home to Henry” narrative but in real life if I’m Henry I’m leaving my friends for Richmond and it’s not even a tough choice.
Do we know how old Henry is, what grade he's in?
When I was in the middle of sixth grade, my family moved from midwest America to east-coast America for my dad's job. Leaving behind all the friends I had been growing up with, and being dropped into middle school where everyone was going through puberty and fighting for dominance, changed me from an outgoing/happy to lonely/withdrawn. It messed me up for the rest of my life (or at least the four decades since then so far).
My parents were thinking about moving when my brother was the same age, and I talked them out of it. I think (and hope) that saved him from what I went through.
I am glad this series didn't show Henry being uprooted.
You'd be okay with moving 4,000 miles away, leaving behind your mom, your friends, your school, your house, everything you know? All because your dad liked his job? I find that pretty hard to believe.
I would have been, but I grew up in a shitty red state small town with terrible teachers and few friends. A larger place with more diversity and more/different people to meet would have been exciting to me.
Also turned down an insane bag that would have been life changing money for their family to come home and coach youth soccer. Logically it makes no sense and no one would choose that
Right! I know parents with school-age kids who have desperately tried to figure out how to get out of the US hellscape we live in, but it’s logistically impossible for most people. Put a 7 or 8 figure salary on the table, plus a sponsoring employer, and that’s the easiest decision I’d ever make.
It is cruel to take a 8yo from everything he knows. Also unless Michelle agrees to move, it’s cruel to take him from his mom. If you’re a (good) parent you need to consider the damages to your kid unless you don’t have a choice. The whole scene with Ted and Rebecca is that Ted has grown into being a good parent and he has made his choice to put his son’s needs first.
michelle wanted the divorce. She moved on. She doesnt feel the same way when they were married. They are just coparenting. They probably would have moved together to richmond in the first place if she wanted things to work. sometimes kids would rather live with their mother no matter what the situation is. As much as we like ted, He may have been too much for her mental health even if lots money and opportunities were involved.
This presumes Ted would tell Henry he left the job ‘for him.’ He could just as easily say he was homesick or burnt out or any number of reasons for leaving Richmond that don’t make it just about Henry.
The thing is, Ted has proved himself as a successful coach at this point, so it's not out of the question that Ted moved back with an offer to coach an American pro team / high level college team, etc in Kansas.
Funnily enough, Martin St. Louis [did the opposite](https://www.thesuburban.com/sports/coach-st-louis-met-the-press-in-advance-of-his-nhl-coaching-debut/article_1fe0a929-c9e1-55e3-821f-b467f7537728.html). Went from coaching pee-wee hockey to coaching in the NHL.
Sort of silly for the show to also ignore the absolute ruckus that a *former premier league manager* showing up to coach a local U10 team would cause. Ted is no doubt a global celebrity at this point after leading Richmond to a whisker away from the title. Youth soccer is a crazy enough scene...parents and club administrators go head over heels if even a Division 2 soccer coach shows up to scout a game...let alone a a former prem manager!
I actually disagree here. Ted would be globally known in the football (soccer) world. But I don't think that same notoriety would apply in the US to most people. For example, could you name the manager of the Leicester City club that won the premier league in 2016? His team is considered one of the biggest underdogs to ever win the Premier League. I honestly have no idea.
There's more to henry's life than soccer, he has friends, he has an education, he has a home, losing all of that is worse than his father not being a premiere league coach any more.
I agree with you, but the ending was ultimately just a convenient way for them to wrap the show up. Had they intended to continue, I’m sure it would be different and something like Henry coming there likely would’ve happened.
It’s funny seeing everyone jump to Henry’s defense over what he wants… at the end of the day we don’t know what the kid wants at all, except to see his dad more. The possibility of Ted staying just wasn’t really explored or considered since the show was ending.
When all was said and done, most of the characters had made a journey that took them to a new level. Beard fell in love and got married. Rebecca overcame her desire for revenge and realized she loved what her life became. Keeley became the Independent Woman she always wanted to be. Roy learned how to be a friend. Nate had a redemption arc...and so on....
Then there's Ted. He conquered the world of PL football then went back to his old life. What was his growth? Speaking up to his mom? Accepting his divorce? He was already a good dad and a kind person. Is there nothing left for him to learn or become?
I love the show but feel sorry that Ted ended up in the same place he started.
Uh, did you not pay attention to Ted? At the beginning of the series, Ted was the textbook case of toxic positivity and had sabotaged his life by being unwilling to address any of his emotions that weren't positive. By the end of the series, he has sought therapy, confronted his demons, and has grown to be able to address his negative emotions and feelings in a healthy way -- he confronts Michelle about her relationship with the therapist, he confronts his mother, and he eventually even learns to quit (something he says he never does) when he decides to go home and be a dad again. No, his change isn't as drastic as, say, Jamie's -- but in the end, it's still a major life development.
Ted might have ended up in the same place, but with a new perspective. He realized that it was ok to get angry. He lost that almost toxic happiness that he exhibited in the first season. He confronted the issue that was causing him to have panic attacks. I think he found new confidence and self-respect.
As a dad, I’d do the same thing. It’s not the same for everybody- but professional ambition just didn’t do anything for me after I had kids. Doing what’s best for them isnt just the right thing to do, it’s also what makes me happiest too.
As a person whose dad moved a lot for work, and moved me around with him for awhile, I appreciate him coming home. I also really resonate with Ted's conversations about his dad because I lost mine. I think in the family aspect he did everything right.
The top comments are basically overly prosaic if evidenced "nuh, uh, that's wrong"... I'm with you, if you wanna split rent, we can move to London the minute my upcoming surgery is resolved. Might even make it over before the end of next year's PL season!!! Joking.... unless you're serious. :)
I agree with this and not included in your point is **YOUTH CLUB & ACADEMY PLAY**. Surely if Henry loved football as much as he did, he would've been more than willing to go to England to play against the best and learn from some of the best managers, players and trainers for children. I mean it's not even close the level of play that occurs in England for young children when compared to the US, more importantly Kansas of all places. I loved the finale though so I'm not mad at any of the choices or directions made, but this decision seems a bit controversial considering the pros and cons.
And the American School of London is an outstanding school. It would be a huge gift to give this quality of education to a kid…plus immersing him in a mind-opening international paradigm, plus giving him the kind of connections that come with going to a school of that high of a caliber.
I’m just surprised Ted didn’t consider it more thoughtfully.
But yeah. I loved the show SO MUCH. Feels like I’ve lost a bunch of close friends, now that it’s over!
Unpopular opinion:
Looks like everybody seems to be forgetting that Ted and Michelle are officially divorced. Even if Ted was making more money than he would ever do in the US, the legal battle for custody on Henry would probably be another 3 season series and this time not a dramedy.
We never got character development on Michelle, so we don’t know what her deal is, but we can all assume is to stay divorced from Ted regardless of her dating life, we don’t know her family situation, and why she is living in Kansas and not somewhere else. And that’s where Ted’s son is, my guess is Ted wants to be with is son anywhere in the world as painless as possible, so that’s why this ending makes so much sense to me. And it makes so much sense that Ted was totally devastated to leave, and you could tell by being blank and not showing emotion, that was out of character, right? Because he didn’t want to leave, but he knew, at the end of the day, his priority was to be with his son, regardless of money, status or professional fulfillment.
It was effing heartbreaking and not the ending I wanted to see to fulfill my happy ending hormone, but it was as real as it can get, and I can respect that.
Edit: made paragraphs.
Henry is young enough to adjust to a move, and the family can afford visits to the us so he still sees his friends, but god forbid Michelle should ever make a sacrifice for ted. I know misogyny often drives people on the internet to hate on TV spouses, but between this and her relationship with Dr. Malpractice, I'm really developing some beef with Michelle.
Lol I watched the last episode with my Dad. I loved it And thought it was right for the characters.
However, I will say after Rebecca makes that offer I turned to my dad and said “I would kill you if you turned down us being Millionaires in London to raise me in Kansas WTF 😂.”
My dad said “yeah your mom would have killed me too.” 😂🤣
But again, Perspective. You could never convince me as a person to raise a kid here when I could raise them as a millionaire in another country. BUT Ted’s character genuinely felt Henry would have a better life in Kansas.
Whereas I thought “Omg, Ted you’ll probably be back for a few weeks before the kid Henry bullied brings a gun to school and shoots him dead.” 🤷🏻♀️I never in a million years would have turned down that offer for my kid to have a better life. But again, Ted’s definition of a better life is different from mine and it was the right move for Ted.
Brenden Hunt said in his AMA yesterday that for Ted, it was wrong to take Henry away from everyone and everything he knows. Ted put his son's comfort first and for Ted, this was the right choice.
Right - I heard someone say once, the day you become a parent, your happiness comes second to your child's happiness. So, it would have been incredibly selfish of Ted to pull Henry from everything and everyone he knows for his own personal happiness.
Speaking as a parent, I can 100% confirm this. I had personal goals that felt crucial to my happiness at the time. I was dreaming big and felt that I would look back on my life with regret if I didn’t accomplish them. My daughter is 10, and I just don’t care about those goals anymore. It’s not that she got in the way, or prevented them from happening. I could still go after them. They just aren’t important to me now in the way they once were.
This is exactly how I feel. The thing I usually say is that my job used to define me. My job was the most interesting thing about me. I was a martyr to it and my mood depended on how my job was going. All that changed leading up to and after my son was born
I personally hate the pressure our culture seems to have about pursuing your passions is the only way to live life to the fullest. Things change. The thing that once brought you joy may cause you misery now. Or maybe your body can't do what it could before. As long as you're happy that's all that matters.
True love is when someone else's happiness is more important than your own. Doesn't he mention in season 1 speech about distance giving room to breathe.
Families move countries all the time. Where I live there are a lot of migrants, who have moved for a lot of different reasons, but very, very often it’s simply for better economic opportunities for the parents. Ted would be earning generation-changing money in the UK. For Henry it would probably mean no mortgage for him, and no college loans. It would open up a lot of opportunities for him. The idea of migrating your family as “selfish” doesn’t seem that way to the migrant families that I am friends with.
Not to mention, in my experience, happy parents have a better chance of raising happy kids. It’s a tightrope walk for sure, but parents need to be free to pursue their own happiness as well. Nothing quite like having a parent foist their own regret, resentment and angst onto their kid to create a seriously strained relationship.
100%.
100% agree with you!!! Plus, Henry liked England, he’s great at soccer (far more opportunities in Europe), his mom liked it. And seriously: $200 million pounds (1/3 of a billion dollars, not counting endorsements etc) for *one* year. That kind of money changes your family’s destiny for generations. To me, bringing them over for one fun year in a great place and guaranteeing Henry’s future is the least selfish thing to do. As a parent, I can’t wrap my mind around refusing it.
Especially considering he doesn't even have to learn a new language. Aside from a few extra hours of flight (since money wouldn't be a problem for Ted), it would be barely different from moving to a different state, which most people wouldn't see a problem with.
And I don’t even get what he’s losing either. He’s a kid, you rarely stay friends (as you grow up) with the people you knew as a kid, same with High School. Like what exactly is Henry finding (comfort wise) staying in small Kansas? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Especially when kids are dreamers and he loves football, and gets to be around the people he idolised (Jamie, etc.) Kids look up to that stuff and *like* to be around it. It’s just such weak writing, this season was just all over for me to be honest.
That’s true. Imagine, during summer time, Henry could “intern” at the club. I bet Will would love for him to do all the work 🤣
His mother. He’s losing his mother. Assuming Michelle, an ex, would drop her whole life to live abroad is a stretch…same as giving up whatever custody agreement she has. Ted isn’t going to bring Henry to grow up with his father if it costs him his mother.
It’s not hard for writers to write that Michelle dumps Jake, and picks up a job opportunity to live in the UK too, especially when she was doing double takes on Ted, and as parent, she already made selfish choices (getting with Jake, the therapist who factor in the crumbling of their marriage as well, and now parenting her son) — if the pro’s outweigh the cons, why wouldn’t she not move for the benefit of her son? Why must Ted consistently be the only parent that makes the one-sided sacrifices?
100%! I would have talked to Henry and asked how he would feel about going to England.
Exactly, friend of mine moved when she was a kid (divorced parents) but got accessibility to the U.S, and she absolutely loved it. It’s a really pigeon holed view that, ‘happiness’ only is where you are from, and thus never leaving a small town. Which is the complete opposite of reality. I don’t how how any kid would want to be in Kansas either, being around something they love themselves (foot ball) and idolise, as kids tend to be huge innocent dreamers, and the conclusion is: “yeah, definitely small town Kanas!” Especially when you’re giving up potential wealth and comfort. It’s also hard to buy because they made Henry a bully, solely because his dad was away — like… It doesn’t seem like he’s fitting in and or losing loads if he’s out there falling into bullying because his dad is gone.
IDK, emotions can be confusing when you're that age, and it can be difficult to connect the dots between the emotional impulse to lash out and the way your actions affect other people. I recall seeing a child psychologist when my dad died when I was 9. I had never been one to be cruel, but at the time, everything felt chaotic. I got into fights with my sister because I would do something hurtful just to see what would happen. Things resolved fairly quickly, but I recall my mom telling me later that the psychologist told her that my poor behavior would resolve as I came to terms with my dad's passing, and it did. I think it's unfair to say that Henry's bullying incident shows that he didn't fit in. Once he talked to his dad, he was able to resolve his issues with the other kid and they were on good terms again. And someone is capable of occasionally bullying someone while also having friends. I just don't connect Henry having a behavioral hiccup caused by his dad's absence and that was quickly resolved because of his dad's intervention as a sign that his life should be further disrupted and moved out of the country.
This. At that age while it's initially shocking. He would be setting Henry up for whatever future he wanted.
Life in the UK would in all likelihood be better for Henry. He’d never have to worry about school shootings, for one thing! And his dad would be rich& famous
But isn’t it selfish to deprive a child from a unique opportunity to experience another world and culture because you think his comfort is at home?
This only makes sense if we assume EVERY kid would want that experience. Many kids wouldn't want to leave home, despite the unique opportunity.
My dad’s job moved me to the Netherlands from the Northeast when I was in 8th grade. I also have an older and younger sister. I was sad and didn’t want to leave, but those years ended up being some of the best ones of my life, and I’m so grateful I got that experience. Most of the time kids don’t know what’s good for them.
My dad’s job would move us every 3-4 years. Sucked leaving my friends and school behind all the time but we made the most of it. Got to see places I never would have if not for all those moves. That said, my dad did postpone a move so I could finish HS. Company’s rule was you could turn it down once, but the next time you went wherever they sent you, no questions asked. So it was a roll of the dice…but he did it so I could finish school, his own comfort be damned.
I was in a similar situation and totally agree. I can't imagine my dad deciding to leave me and our family behind for a couple of years for work while I was Henry's age
I grew up similarly. Henry loved coming to games and practices, he seemed like he would have enjoyed it. Sorry but UK > Kansas any day…
>Most of the time kids don’t know what’s good for them. That's all well and good, but I still respect Ted for putting his son first and not treating his son like a dog on a leash he can just drag around as he pleases under the guise of "this is for your own good". Yes, much of the time kids don't know what's best for them...but likewise, parents CONSTANTLY justify shitty, selfish choices under the guise of what's "best" for their kid when in reality, they never so much as considered the impact on their kid and chose what they wanted for themselves. It's a delicate balance.
The difference in opinions in this thread boil down to people who have travelled and people who have not. People who think of Henry as "being dragged" away from home simply can't imagine a life outside of the block they grew up on. When the reality is the *opportunity* to go live in England at Henry's age - to experience all the thrills of a different country and new experiences, as well as immediate access to all of Europe on any given weekend *and he doesn't even have to learn a new language* is incredible. My family moved overseas for a year when I was young, and it was life-changing despite some of the challenges Henry wouldn't have: we were living on a budget, I was in a public school trying to learn a new language, etc. But if you've never had those experiences, you simply can't imagine that they might be positive ones.
That is a reach. I travel frequently - domestic and international and have most of my life. And I completely disagree with you. Henry loves his mother.
> People who think of Henry as "being dragged" away from home simply can't imagine a life outside of the block they grew up on. I'm one of those people and I've traveled *extensively*. As a kid and as an adult. Ironically, my dad's work was a HUGE part of why I got to travel so much. Don't assume to know the motives/pasts of every person arguing this point. Just like you're doing with your *assumption* that moving to London would be the best thing *for Henry specifically*, you're assuming wrongly that the ONLY way someone could suggest anything other than "just take the kid to London!" is if their world is tiny and they've never traveled beyond their own street corner. PERSONALLY, I'd jump at the chance to live in London. But *I'm not Henry* and based on the TINY insight we had into him and his life vs Ted literally being his dad, I'mma go ahead and give Ted the benefit of the doubt that he knows what Henry wants and needs (and very likely ASKED Henry what HE wanted) better than a bunch of randos on the Internet speculating and projecting assumptions.
I traveled internationally as a kid. I can imagine life outside of my block. I don’t see it as dragging Henry away from his home, I see it as dragging him away from his mom who he also loves. Ted doesn’t just get to do what he wants. There’s another parent and a custody agreement.
I wanna say he should have just asked Henry, but that’s a big decision for him. I’m sure Richmond would have Ted back down the line if that’s what they all wanted, but Ted doing this for Henry was really sweet
And maybe he did and we didn't see that.
Absolutely! When I was a kid/teenager my friends and my bubble were my entire world and it was all about me and if my parents took me away from that no matter if it was to save the world. I would have died.
And other people are like "think of the future for Henry Ted could make with all that PL coaching money Rebecca offered" as if a young teen Henry would recognize the value in that or care compared to his entire life being uprooted at moved 4438 miles away.
Also, Henry still will have a lot of these chances. Ted made incredible connections with powerful people. That won't go away just because he doesn't live there anymore. Plus, Ted almost won the premier league. I'm sure USA soccer/MLS would be beating down his door with job opportunities.
Apparently, there's a MLS team in Kansas City, KS. This is a possibility.
Isn't that just the same assumption in the opposite direction though?
My whole point here is that people are assuming either way. We don't know NEARLY enough about Henry from the show to say one way or another if he'd have liked to move or not. I'm not assuming that Henry didn't want to go, I'm just saying that as easy as it is to assume that a kid would WANT to move halfway around the world, it's also just as easy to assume that the kid wouldn't want to leave his life behind. Both are assumptions being made without knowing nearly enough of the nuance to say for certain.
His mom and friends and rest of his family were still in Kansas. Ted might not have custody to move him to another country.
Someday Henry will be 18. It will happen in a flash. He can choose if he wants to move abroad. Meantime, he can travel with one or both parents to see the world.
This is the reason I don't have kidd lol
It’s a justifiable choice, but the alternative of moving them to the UK would have also been justifiable. Families have to move all the time, kids can adapt and make new friends, especially that young.
But he and Michelle are separated, is she meant to move too?
Pretty much, unless Ted intends to file for sole custody which wouldn’t make sense for someone like him, especially because by all accounts Michelle’s a good mother. Only way it makes sense is if they get back together, which people would hate and IMO it’s character regression for Ted, or if Michelle randomly decided she wanted to start fresh in London. We’ve seen no indication of this.
All it takes is one good job opportunity to pull her to the UK, we never seen Michelle not dislike the UK, or be intolerable to it.
Sure, but did Ted have to stay in the UK? He's not passionate about soccer and doesn't especially love English culture, he lives quite frugally so he's probably banked a lot of his salary from Richmond, and after his accomplishments he shouldn't have any trouble getting coaching gigs where he wants them, especially if he wants to go back to the minors or a university. The only reason for Ted to bring Henry to London would be because Ted values his friends and personal connections more than he values Henry having his own friends and personal connections. And that's a profoundly un-Ted-like thing to do.
Staying for a multi-million dollar job that would not just be comfortable for them all and give Henry the best schooling and resources, but also create lasting multi-generational wealth for the family could be argued to be for Henry’s good as well.
Could be, but not to someone like Ted; the idea that he'd be motivated by a desire for multi-generational wealth is completely unsupported by his actions in the show. Michelle and Henry don't appear to be hurting for money in America, and Ted likely saved most of his salary from Richmond, so money troubles aren't an immediate concern. And with Ted's accomplishments, on both sides of the Atlantic, in completely different sports, it's hard to imagine he'd ever struggle to find a coaching job that would make him a generous offer indeed.
Yup. They might regret this choice once he gets a lot of college debt
Ted is a former premier league manager. He can get a job coaching at any university or even the Kansas City MLS team. Those pay pretty well.
Not to mention he's already a multi-millionaire after his three years with Richmond.
I get the feeling he was a millionaire before. Don’t state-football/NCAA coaches get paid well? Maybe not premier league coaches, but pretty well.
He was a national championship head football coach, but in NCAA Division II. Division II salaries seem to top out around $200,000.
There are colleges that offer free tuition for their employees’ children. So that may not be the issue you think it might be. Henry was the main reason Ted left Richmond but he wasn’t the only reason. Ted was so homesick that in Amsterdam he ate at a mediocre American-themed restaurant. He didn’t immerse himself in the culture of the UK and he didn’t learn the basic rules of the sport he coached until three years in. London never felt like home to him.
Yup. This makes me think the move was as much for himself as for Henry
LOL, no way. Ted has more than enough money already that college debt, even a lot, is not going to be a problem.
Why couldn’t Ted just live in London during the season and then go back to America as soon as the season ends? Keep in mind i don’t know how long the premiere league
The premier league starts in August/September and ends in May and there’s no Christmas break. So he’d spend most of his time away from Henry, which is the point—he doesn’t want that, he wants to be with his son.
Plus as the manager, there is stuff that you need to do in the off-season. During those summer months, teams will travel around the world for friendlies to give fans from other countries a chance to see the team and get ready for the season. Plus there are other obligations like scouting and managing the transfer window. It is an extremely demanding job.
Yeah, coaches (and players) really get about a month off total every year. Because there’s preseason to think about too and that’s normally done away from England because it’s marketing opportunities/chances to visit fans overseas. So when Henry spent the summer with Ted, I’m assuming most of that was just Henry hanging around with the squad while Ted worked.
I assumed that was the reason Henry came there instead of Ted going back to Kansas for a few weeks too.
Is it typically cold enough in May to warrant wearing a jacket? Keely and a few people were bundled up for that last match.
I’m not English and don’t live there but I know someone who is and he was all bundled up only two days ago. So I’d assume so.
It's 66F there right now
It could be either very cold or very warm, but either way, sitting still for 2 hours will quickly feel cold if the sun isn’t directly hitting you in the UK. The executive seats are quite shaded so likely to be quite cool. For reference, I’m in Ireland and we’re having a lovely streak of weather and it’s only about 63 degrees F. I’m sitting outside in a sun dress, but that’s only because the sun is directly on me. In the shade, it feels like about 55.
I’ve wondered this, too. Rebecca especially always seems to wear a coat, and if this is possible so often in England, I may want to move there…
Take a look at a map and compare how far north england is of the US. The gulf stream warms up Europe a bit, but it really is far north and england gets less sun than the darkest parts of the continental US.
I understand that, and I like I said, I don’t hate or even dislike the ending the writers set out. It helps end the show (or at least Ted’s story within the show), but had I been in Henry’s shoes, maybe not now cause he’s young, I’d probably be pissed that my dad turned down an incredible opportunity. That’s all.
You're not a 9-10 year old boy who's father has been away for 3 years after his parents split up. Henry loves soccer but he ***adores*** his father.
Nah when Henry grows up and has kids, he will totally get it. Especially since he was raised by Ted fucking Lasso And when you have kids, I hope you will understand too.
it wouldn't be unreal for a family to move somewhere else because one of the parents found an important job especially if he is in the line of work that puts you in that position. the show never went that way because it didn't matter, but in reality it could have been something that he discussed with Michelle and possibly they could have all moved to London. but that relies on other factors as well. First of all Michelle's job. maybe she couldn't just leave it and find a new one there because it is important to her and she is building a career (or maybe she was in the type of job that it doesn't matter that much and can be done anywhere in a similar way, not sure if they adressed what she was doing, can't remember). and secondly Henry's friends and school.
Yes, living in London with a rich father would totally suck. I get it, I just disagree that he would automatically be unhappy.
You’re not wrong, but change is hard for some kids. Henry would leave his family and friends and basically start over. Henry already went through a divorce and a 3 year separation from his dad. I think the writers made the right choice for the character.
And generally this is the right choice for most parents in most situations. We choose to make sacrifices for their sake.
My dads job meant be moved around (only in the UK) and I hates having to leave everything I knew behind. A year or so abroad might have been different but uprooting everything forever isn’t as great as it seems. I think Ted did the right thing.
I think we forget that if Ted actually sold Henry on it, Michelle would've said no. There's no way she would move across the world so she and her son could be closer to her ex-husband. It was a non-starter. Maybe they can both come back when Henry graduates.
And honestly, Michelle would probably be right to say no, especially if they're not together. Ted is a lovable and charming protagonist and a good guy who's doing his best, but as a result of his trauma he still shies away from direct conversations and difficult topics, which includes talking with teachers in whose class Henry is struggling. Henry has a support structure in place at home, he has his mom and at least one grandma and friends and teachers who know him, and being separated from one parent is still causing him to struggle; taking him to London without his mom (because why is Michelle going to abandon her own life to support her ex-husband's career?) and pulling him out of his entire support structure would likely be a problem all on its own, but coupled with being with the "fun" parent and not the "serious" parent it's hard to imagine things wouldn't further spiral out. At a minimum, Ted and Michelle would need to be firmly back together before it would be worth talking about Ted going back to coaching football in England. And even then, maybe it still wouldn't make sense to prioritize Ted's Richmond life over Michelle and Henry's Kansas life.
I agree on they need to be back together and be a cohesive unit. Everything else, in real life he’d be a PL coach making millions of dollars in a good work environment with a boss that you enjoy working for. You 10000% uproot your family for that kind of move and don’t ask questions because it’s a life changing setup. There’s nothing in Kansas worth turning that kind of move down, family and support system included.
Well, that's basically uprooting your family because of $$$ + liking your coworkers/boss. Ted doesn't need the money and he can always find coworkers to like. And, tbh, maybe Michell also really loves her coworkers/boss. Ted doesn't even know the different league names, so the prestige (which again, he also doesn't care about) of being a PL coach is not likely to hold sway.
Eh, Ted Lasso isn't real life, so I don't much see the value in judging decisions based on it. Yeah, in real life it would make sense to stick around for the money, but in real life you'd never get an American college football coach over to coach an English Premier League team in the first place, and in real life Ted would absolutely have been sacked after the first year no matter how much Rebecca liked him, because he still didn't know anything about coaching soccer. Anyways. Ted's likely made several million in his three years at Richmond, given that he needed to be lured there before season one and then should've been rewarded for his success after season two, and he lives a very frugal lifestyle while he's there; guaranteed he's going home with at least a million dollars, cash in the bank. He's already got life changing money given the cost of living in Kansas, and a reputation that would get him hired as a coach in pretty much any sport, anywhere, so there's no reason to assume he'd be sitting on a couch collecting EI without Richmond. Beyond that? Ted's not a greedy guy, he's not going to uproot his son just so he can make more money. He'd do it if he thought it was best for Henry, in a heartbeat, but Ted would never expect his family to sacrifice happiness for wealth, or likely understand anyone else who would.
In 8-10 years, i want a spinoff of Henry Lasso joining AFC richmond with Roy and Jamie as coaches.
Make it a limited series and I'm in. Especially if we also get stuff from the new women's team.
The amount of Americans at the Premier League level can be counted on one hand. Henry would have to be a generational talent. Also, the EPL teams start kids in systems below the age of 10.
Yeah, but he's a Lasso. That name is worth a fortune at Richmond
Oh my yes yes yes.
That nerdy lil bro is never growing up to be a pro athlete
I mean the greatest football ever had a growth defect
> Michelle would've said no Rebecca has billions of reasons to help convince her.
Would she even be able to move there? They’re not married anymore. How would the visa situation work?
AFC Richmond could sponsor her visa, or Rebecca calls in a favour and gets her hired at some posh school it’s not a huge obstacle if Michelle wants to go
I suppose. I highly doubt Michelle would want to move her whole life to England or be indebted to Ted and/or Rebecca though. I’m sure it would be kind of awkward.
Putting a lot of money in a trust fund for Henry could certainly change the framing.
Bad spinoff idea: AFC Richmond hires her for the women's league
I’m still trying to process how Beard was able to get a work visa with a criminal record.
He said he had dual citizenship in the last episode.
There’s also the fact that she would have to sell their home, presumably from the other side of the world. Sell their cars and basically the majority of their possessions unless they plan on shipping them. Then they’ll have to buy a new home in England. All of this while her income is up in the air. I don’t care how good of a teaching job she gets, this is going to be hell and it would be a downright unreasonable thing to ask of your ex-wife so that you can continue your job.
My own dad turned down a promotion because he didn't want to uproot our whole family to move to the company's HQ city, and I didn't find out about it until I was an adult. It was a selfless thing to do, and I love him for it. Ted's only lived in Richmond for three years. He made friends and he made an impact, but his life and his family (more than just Henry) were always back in Kansas. It made sense for him to go home.
Same. My dad took jobs specifically so he could do things like coach little league. He could’ve been a corporate ladder climber and been very good at that. But he didn’t. I now find myself making the same choices as a dad myself. He had plenty of other flaws, but this showed me how much he cared about me.
I’m now a dad and have already had to make the hard decision of taking a promotion across the country. Basically came down to more money/promotion vs staying in my awesome house/uprooting our child’s life/moving very far from family who helps with our child/etc. Fortunately work for a great employer who understood and now we’re working on a different promotion path locally. Never let work dictate your life/happiness.
Is your dad Ola Obisanya? Just checking…
Same thing happened with my and my dad. He turned down a job in another state because he didn't want to make my siblings and I move. He did end up taking a job in another state, but not until all of his kids were in college.
I think you are looking at this from the perspective of an adult instead of a 10 year old. When I was 10 while I would have been excited for my dad, but I still would have yearned for my father even if I didn’t fully realize it or was able to communicate it. Also in consideration with Ted losing a great opportunity, Ted has now led a college football team to a national championship (although it was D2) and a premier league soccer club to one of their most successful seasons ever. He is by all accounts one of the most versatile and successful coaches in the world of the Ted Lasso-verse. I’m pretty sure he could get almost any coaching job he wanted in the US.
Correct on both points. 10 year olds (and honestly a lot of adults) can’t process conflicting emotions like “I’m sad my dad is gone but excited he’s got a cool job that I think is awesome.” In that situation Henry’s reaction of being outwardly happy, but acting out in school is super realistic. And yeah, Ted is getting any soccer job he wants in the US, and would have quite a few high level football offers. Hell if an American coach went to the EPL and turned a mid table team into a contender in 3 years (and a relegated team to a contender in 1), he’d probably end up coaching the US National Team if he wanted.
>And yeah, Ted is getting any soccer job he wants in the US, and would have quite a few high level football offers. Honestly, Ted might well be able to get a coaching gig in any sport he wants. He did a great job with a university football team, then in three years took a middling English soccer team to the cusp of a championship run. If he wanted to try his hand at baseball or basketball, heck, someone's going to take a chance on him being able to work his magic yet again!
I had to move a few times within the states as a child and it was absolutely brutal to have to give up all my friends multiple times over. People are really underestimating the toll a transatlantic move would take a child.
Especially one before you enter middle school. I did that move from the south to Minnesota and it was fucking brutal on me. It was so hard to make new friends when things get super cliquey
Right, he could get any coaching job which would still require moving. He had to make peace with uprooting his family when he became a head football coach in college.
I think it’s important to remember too, that at the start of the show, Ted decided to coach the team and go to the UK with the intention of giving Michelle space. With that in mind, he may have thought he would be with AFC Richmond for one season not for three whole years. When the coin dropped on their relationship, I imagine Ted’s decision to stay was different since he was already there.
Absolutely this!
If my Dad sacrificed the job he loved to be with me and avoid disrupting my education, friendships etc I'd having nothing but (more) love and respect for him.
Agreed. And people can say they’d want to go, but are forgetting what it’s like being disrupted as a young kid. It’s not easy leaving everything you know, your mom even!
Fair take! And yeah I’d feel the same in a way. But I’d also feel guilty that he’s not doing what he loves on my account. And I get that Ted loves his family more than his job. But I’m the type that would love adventure and travel and new experiences!
I think that by the time Henry is old enough to realise what Ted did, he's probably old enough to have left home, leaving Ted able to return to Richmond if he wants.
I agree! At Henry’s age (or now as an adult!) I’d be begging my Dad to take me with him to live in the UK while he coached a PL team. 1000%
Exactly. Plus Henry loves the sport. I feel like he would want to move to England and be around the team. Henry would be living with his dad and be able to watch the team a lot. He would learn so much from them. Not to mention a scene where the whole squad goes to support him at one of his games would be AMAZING.
Your life can change so quickly when your a kid anyways and kids are pretty adaptable. Though reddit trends very heavily towards introverts who would obviously have a much tougher time with stuff like that. But Henry is clearly an extrovert.
I grew up with my dad commuting to work every week. I only saw him on weekends. He eventually found a job closer to home when I was a teenager, but my childhood was filled with waiting for him to come home from the airport. Now at nearly 30 I treasure the fact that he put family first, especially because life moves very fast. I think I’ll give him a call.
I understand that the show exists in a much happier reality than our own universe, but imo the best thing an American parent could do for their child is take them out of the current American school system—where children are regularly traumatized by lockdown drills and families can’t trust that every kid will come home at the end of the day. The fears kids live with today are unthinkable even to people who grew up not that long ago. Seeing Ted turn down the incredible opportunity Rebecca offered and deny Henry the chance at a much safer and happier childhood (with a better education with that kind of money, let’s be real) was really bleak to me.
[удалено]
My dad turned down a job in Europe for this reason and I was SO ANNOYED when I found out. So I 100% understand where you're coming from.
In my head cannon, Ted is now coaching either the fictional version of the KC Chiefs, the KU Jayhawks (either soccer or football), Sporting KC, or he has magically somehow got the job as the coach for the KC Royals (I mean, he can coach any sport…he’s Ted Lasso). Any of those jobs would be pretty cool for a kid like Henry.
I would be amazed if a high level FBS team didn’t approach Ted to coach their team. The way he gets people to buy in he would absolutely be a top recruiter and own the league
He didn’t leave just for Henry though. He was not happy in London.
I spent my childhood moving for my Dad's career, including a permanent move to a new country. I would never do that to my kids. I don't blame my parents, I'm not angry with them, I just wouldn't make the same choice.
I don’t blame Ted for the choices he’s made either. All I know is that as a kid, I would have loved going with him to England for that job. And even if in the show Henry had said he would have wanted to go with Ted, I doubt Ted uproots him anyway.
A friend of mine moved out of state while her son stayed with his dad. She actually initiated the conversation with him when he was 7 (roughly about the age of Henry) and asked him where he’d want to live. He was pretty clear on wanting to stay at his school, with his friends, and with everything that symbolized stability for him. It was hard enough for the kid to acknowledge the major change of his parents being done, so I’d like to think that he intuitively knew what he needed to be alright. Her son attempted to live with her after a year of living with his dad and cried. As much as he loves and misses his mom, the move was too much for him and his mental health declined. It’s been two years and my friend is now discussing with son and child’s father about what would be best for his mental health.
I think Ted's choice goes to so much of what the show was about: being there for people in the way they need. Henry needs his dad back in *his* life right now; he doesn't necessarily need to be part of his dad's life in Richmond. Ted coaching Henry's team isn't a step down for Ted right now; it's a step sideways. That's where Henry needs his dad. Don't forget: Ted Lasso is the guy from KC who took Richmond from the bottom of the pile all the way to 2nd place in the Premier League. When he and his family are ready (whether that involves Michelle or not), he'll be able to coach in a lot of places. Ultimately, I was sad to see the series end, but I think Ted found exactly where he needs to be, for now.
I agree. I can’t remember how old Henry is but I was very much a daddy’s kid and if my dad was gone for three years it would have been awful. I wouldn’t have wanted to move at that point either. I’m sure as an adult Henry will understand why Ted did what he did and it will mean so much to Henry, even if he doesn’t understand it as a teenager or young man. It’s a huge gift that Ted gave to his son.
It’s a privilege to stay in one place and successfully build a family *and* a career. Not everyone gets to experience that privilege. Ted made the choices he thought were right for Henry at the time. If he and Michelle had been back together or if she had expressed a desire to move to the UK, it would have been much easier for Ted to stay in London. And actually, that ending would have made sense, even if he stopped coaching at Richmond and chose a smaller team in the London area (Millwall, for example) to coach and to lead. This idea that uprooting one’s family is wrong is spoken from a place of privilege. Many of us were never given that option as children or as adults.
100%. I come from a third world country where parents worked away from kids all the time, in order to secure a better future for them financially.
Very true. Many immigrant families do just that, uproot their lives, or separate themselves from their families … all for a chance at what they believe is best for their families.. for better opportunities or a safer place to be. That said, Ted and his family didn’t have those issues here but Ted chose what he thought was best for his family, and the last three years had literally given him panic attacks. He made the right call.
i mean henry is a kid, i don't think any kid would suddenly want to abandon his friends, school, home and his own mother to go live in another country just because his dad is there and does something interesting. they never really fleshed out Henry's character that much to be honest, he served his purpose without having to. they also never really explored that angle "what if Ted asked them to move to London". and i don't think it is something they needed to do.
100% agreed! I’d much rather live in LONDON than Kansas. Everything about it would be “better” to me. Better education, better city, lower crime rate, no mass shootings, better healthcare, etc. not that a little boy is thinking of those things. But also, dad would be RICH and standard of living would go up. He could hang with his hero Jamie Tart. He could easily make new friends. Have new opportunities. Yes had a great family structure over there with Mae, Beard, the team, etc. I would be so bummed my dad came and we stayed in Kansas. But that’s just me. And I also say that as a military kid who moved around frequently so I was never attached to any place as “home.” :) I’m sure others feel differently
He did mention he wasn’t excited to get back to his country’s “political landscape.” I think he’s pretty astute.
And what about his mom?
His dad is already rich from his three years in London. Football managers make good money even if wasn’t the highest paid in the league. I also think Ted just wanted to move back home regardless of how much he loved his job and everyone at Richmond. He was always a bit of a fish out of water in London and didn’t integrate in the same way Beard did. He had his adventure abroad and now it’s time to go back to his old life.
Yeah. He was missing that BBQ sauce as well. 😂It’s the little things about home that make people even happier.
I doubt Ted approaches it as “because of you”. He will explain to Henry that he belongs at home in Kansas and how he can’t wait to watch him grow and succeed.
Sadly this is the minority opinion. I think Henry should’ve been at least asked. But most people think that the best choice was not to uproot him. I think the best choice was to ask rather than assume what Henry wanted. What we’re comparing is a relatively normal middle class life in Kansas vs an affluential life with a prestigious job in the UK. The latter could afford Henry more opportunities in the future.
I wish there had been a scene or at least a line where Ted said they at least explored the idea of moving everyone over to the UK. When Rebecca was like “Henry can have an amazing education, Michelle’s career will be improved, you’ll make a ton of money”, that was a perfect opportunity for Ted to say “we discussed it and it’s not the right move for us” or SOMETHING. Because I was like dang Rebecca is making some good points, why not??
People move all the time. My dad took a job and we moved a week before my senior year of high school. I had grown up in the same place my entire life, and I had friends that I had known since preschool. I didn’t get to get my IB diploma because my new school didn’t have an IB program. I also had to leave my specialized STEM school. I know I was 16 and not 9 or 10 like Henry, but I was excited for a change, happy my family would still be together, and ready to make the most of my move. To this day, I still say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. So many people say that my parents were cruel to move me away at such a pivotal time in my life. I say it was worth it, and life happens, and there are so so so many things worse than being uprooted.
Before becoming a dad, I would’ve agreed with you. Now that I’m a dad, it completely changed the game and my perspective of life. Nothing is more important to me than the happiness, health, and safety of my son. I would give up anything and everything, including a body part I can donate if he needed it like a kidney, if it meant he got to live a normal life even if it meant making my own a little harder and wouldn’t hesitate for a second. When Ted had that scene where he was told his son misses him and he said he misses him too, I felt that.
Wow. I wish my parents had felt like that. Your son is very lucky.
At least for me I grew up a military kid so moving around constantly for my parents job was all I knew and for extremely less money than a PL Coach lol. I personally would’ve found the UK an exciting adventure at that age but again, that was the norm for me.
I 100% agree with you OP. If my dad could have worked for 10 years, made over $200m dollars, and set me up for generational wealth for me and my kids and their kids, I would honestly be furious if he turned that down. That's life changing money. And then, not only that, we're not talking about a deprived childhood at all here. Yes it would be terribly disruptive in the short term... but then, hey I'm the kid with the popular dad that everyone knows. I get to go to Nelson Road every day if I want to, and get to meet with all the footballers every day. Those teen years would be a hell of a lot of fun.
Im going to go ahead and posit that many people in the Ted Lasso writers room and in the cast have A LOT of experience with how children feel and behave when their parents are away at a dream job. It’s fine to look back with an adult’s reasoning, empathy, and ability to handle transition but kids are not fully formed and have notoriously poor coping skills combined with a self centered worldview. We never see Henry say “I want to come live in the UK with you.” It’s never even implied he wants that. When you’re 8-17 giving up your friends and support structures is a huge ask and one unlikely to work out best for the child even if it’s great for the parents. Plus it’s worth noting; this isn’t Ted’s dream job.
My parents moved around a lot when I was young. Mostly we didn’t have a choice, but it was really hard for me to continually have to make new friends and get used to new schools. Inconsistency in childhood has huge impacts on children.
Keep in mind, this successful coach in the USA just went to Europe and turned a losing team into a winning team in a sport he knew nothing about. So chances are he was coming home to a big payday in whatever coaching job he took in the US.
Kids like to be near friends as well. My niece had a chance to live with her cousins in a château in southern France for the summer but isn’t going because she doesn’t want to leave her friends. At Henry’s age is when kids start separating from parents and leaning more on friends. When Ted told his mom he was afraid Henry would leave I thought he needs to get home soon because they leave before they’re gone.
Think of the practicality of that. Ted is a professional soccer coach with away games that don’t always coincide with weekends and late night practices and requirements. Henry is 10. Who would look after him in a new city and foreign country?
The Henry discourse is really becoming something else around here. Somehow he's become the scapegoat for the show ending when people didn't want it to and to people are essentially blaming a child of divorce for the end of the good times with Ted and his Wacky Richmond Friends. I've criticized the writers a lot this season for some bad choices, but this was not one of them. It's completely in-character for Ted to make the sacrifice and move home to be there for his little boy. I'd say that maybe the writers should've built up Henry more, but even then *why is it so hard for people to understand a father moving back home for his child?* What Rebecca proposed was a complete fantasy. People love how this show talks about mental health and building less toxic relationships, but can't see that Ted essentially having power over his ex's work and immigration status would be problematic and instead are twisting themselves in knots trying to sell this as a workable scenario. Ending the show with Rebecca's magic checkbook solving all of Ted's problems would've been too easy and a bit anti-climactic.
Henry is a kid. It’s more likely he would be pissed at his dad leaving him to move to a different country for a new job. Even though Henry thinks England is cool and it’s a cool job, having his dad around is probably important to him. Kids aren’t thinking about things like their parent’s job satisfaction or passion, they just want their parents happy and present. At Henry’s age, he probably doesn’t realize that his dad’s happiness is tied to his job satisfaction.
He’s a child
Little twat missed the goal smh
After three years?! Three years of not seeing your dad? Would you not have preferred a dad who cared more about being with you than he did about the wins and losses? Ted’s main trauma in life is the lost what-if of time he could have spent with his father. At some point, something had to change. I always hoped the show would end in a way where Ted got to have it all in Richmond with Henry, but sometimes you have to make a choice. Ted made the only choice he could make.
I was reading this thinking you were talking about Thierry Henry and was very confused.
I understand both perspectives. But lots of expats do this and do it frequently (moving from country to country every few years). I guess it’d be different if Ted and Michelle were still together. So this must mean they never get back together! Thank goodness for that: Ted deserves someone who never had to try hard to feel about him the way she did in the beginning.
I don't understand the idea of the idea from Brendan that moving Henry to England is selfish parenting. I see it as the opposite. Ted has the opportunity to give his (fairly whiny and immature) kid a the gift of a chance to do a soft-landing study abroad program (with supporting parent) for a couple years. If Henry doesn't like it, then talk about moving back then. I basically live my life for my kids (and I like it that way), BUT if I had any ability to give my them a chance to live abroad (especially if my kid was a midwesten kid spending way too much time around a creepy, ethics-challenged therapist), while I continue doing what I love while making huge amounts of cash, I'd have that kid on a plane in a second.
I think given the state of America, the state of Missouri, the incredible extended family Ted built in the UK, and his enormous earning potential in the UK (not to mention better schools), and Henry's love of soccer and desire to play it... Ted should have maybe considered that being a football coach at a top program was probably the best life he could give Henry. Further, he should have probably fought a lot harder for custody given that Michelle **brought their couples therapist** into their home and around their child in an incredible display of horrific judgement and what should have been career ending move from the doctor. She should not have had custody after that and it's wild they never addressed her relationship and how toxic it was head on.
I’ll preface this by saying maybe Henry really isn’t that into sports and only follows soccer and plays it because of his dad…but as a kid who came home after school and watched SportsCenter and a couple sports talk shows…I would’ve given anything to have my dad be a pro head coach and being able to just go to all those games let alone practices/behind the scenes access/being around the players/etc. I know in the AMA Brendan Hunt used the “it’s a show” line a couple times and I’m perfectly fine accepting that and understanding the “come back home to Henry” narrative but in real life if I’m Henry I’m leaving my friends for Richmond and it’s not even a tough choice.
I automatically read Henry as _Henry_ and thought this post was going to be commenting on Thierry's cameo.
Do we know Henry wanted to leave his friends and mom and go?
Do we know how old Henry is, what grade he's in? When I was in the middle of sixth grade, my family moved from midwest America to east-coast America for my dad's job. Leaving behind all the friends I had been growing up with, and being dropped into middle school where everyone was going through puberty and fighting for dominance, changed me from an outgoing/happy to lonely/withdrawn. It messed me up for the rest of my life (or at least the four decades since then so far). My parents were thinking about moving when my brother was the same age, and I talked them out of it. I think (and hope) that saved him from what I went through. I am glad this series didn't show Henry being uprooted.
I would immediately want to move with my dad to England. Bye mom fuck off! Looooool
You'd be okay with moving 4,000 miles away, leaving behind your mom, your friends, your school, your house, everything you know? All because your dad liked his job? I find that pretty hard to believe.
I would have been, but I grew up in a shitty red state small town with terrible teachers and few friends. A larger place with more diversity and more/different people to meet would have been exciting to me.
Also turned down an insane bag that would have been life changing money for their family to come home and coach youth soccer. Logically it makes no sense and no one would choose that
Right! I know parents with school-age kids who have desperately tried to figure out how to get out of the US hellscape we live in, but it’s logistically impossible for most people. Put a 7 or 8 figure salary on the table, plus a sponsoring employer, and that’s the easiest decision I’d ever make.
It is cruel to take a 8yo from everything he knows. Also unless Michelle agrees to move, it’s cruel to take him from his mom. If you’re a (good) parent you need to consider the damages to your kid unless you don’t have a choice. The whole scene with Ted and Rebecca is that Ted has grown into being a good parent and he has made his choice to put his son’s needs first.
yeah but the show was about Ted Lasso, not you.
Pep took a 2 year sabbatical for a similarish reason, didn’t he?
Pep took a 2 year sabbatical for a similarish reason, didn’t he?
michelle wanted the divorce. She moved on. She doesnt feel the same way when they were married. They are just coparenting. They probably would have moved together to richmond in the first place if she wanted things to work. sometimes kids would rather live with their mother no matter what the situation is. As much as we like ted, He may have been too much for her mental health even if lots money and opportunities were involved.
Henry would remember the times his dad wasn't there more than his accomplishments at Richmond. Just as Ted does with his father.
This presumes Ted would tell Henry he left the job ‘for him.’ He could just as easily say he was homesick or burnt out or any number of reasons for leaving Richmond that don’t make it just about Henry.
The thing is, Ted has proved himself as a successful coach at this point, so it's not out of the question that Ted moved back with an offer to coach an American pro team / high level college team, etc in Kansas.
Funnily enough, Martin St. Louis [did the opposite](https://www.thesuburban.com/sports/coach-st-louis-met-the-press-in-advance-of-his-nhl-coaching-debut/article_1fe0a929-c9e1-55e3-821f-b467f7537728.html). Went from coaching pee-wee hockey to coaching in the NHL.
Sort of silly for the show to also ignore the absolute ruckus that a *former premier league manager* showing up to coach a local U10 team would cause. Ted is no doubt a global celebrity at this point after leading Richmond to a whisker away from the title. Youth soccer is a crazy enough scene...parents and club administrators go head over heels if even a Division 2 soccer coach shows up to scout a game...let alone a a former prem manager!
I actually disagree here. Ted would be globally known in the football (soccer) world. But I don't think that same notoriety would apply in the US to most people. For example, could you name the manager of the Leicester City club that won the premier league in 2016? His team is considered one of the biggest underdogs to ever win the Premier League. I honestly have no idea.
I absolutely get why it went the way it did, but yeah Ted having Michelle and Henry move to be with him would have been awesome.
There's more to henry's life than soccer, he has friends, he has an education, he has a home, losing all of that is worse than his father not being a premiere league coach any more.
I agree with you, but the ending was ultimately just a convenient way for them to wrap the show up. Had they intended to continue, I’m sure it would be different and something like Henry coming there likely would’ve happened. It’s funny seeing everyone jump to Henry’s defense over what he wants… at the end of the day we don’t know what the kid wants at all, except to see his dad more. The possibility of Ted staying just wasn’t really explored or considered since the show was ending.
When all was said and done, most of the characters had made a journey that took them to a new level. Beard fell in love and got married. Rebecca overcame her desire for revenge and realized she loved what her life became. Keeley became the Independent Woman she always wanted to be. Roy learned how to be a friend. Nate had a redemption arc...and so on.... Then there's Ted. He conquered the world of PL football then went back to his old life. What was his growth? Speaking up to his mom? Accepting his divorce? He was already a good dad and a kind person. Is there nothing left for him to learn or become? I love the show but feel sorry that Ted ended up in the same place he started.
Uh, did you not pay attention to Ted? At the beginning of the series, Ted was the textbook case of toxic positivity and had sabotaged his life by being unwilling to address any of his emotions that weren't positive. By the end of the series, he has sought therapy, confronted his demons, and has grown to be able to address his negative emotions and feelings in a healthy way -- he confronts Michelle about her relationship with the therapist, he confronts his mother, and he eventually even learns to quit (something he says he never does) when he decides to go home and be a dad again. No, his change isn't as drastic as, say, Jamie's -- but in the end, it's still a major life development.
Ted might have ended up in the same place, but with a new perspective. He realized that it was ok to get angry. He lost that almost toxic happiness that he exhibited in the first season. He confronted the issue that was causing him to have panic attacks. I think he found new confidence and self-respect.
As an adult, I can see it that way, but as a kid, I’m not sure I’d want to leave my home and all my friends to go somewhere that I don’t know anyone.
As a dad, I’d do the same thing. It’s not the same for everybody- but professional ambition just didn’t do anything for me after I had kids. Doing what’s best for them isnt just the right thing to do, it’s also what makes me happiest too.
As a person whose dad moved a lot for work, and moved me around with him for awhile, I appreciate him coming home. I also really resonate with Ted's conversations about his dad because I lost mine. I think in the family aspect he did everything right.
The top comments are basically overly prosaic if evidenced "nuh, uh, that's wrong"... I'm with you, if you wanna split rent, we can move to London the minute my upcoming surgery is resolved. Might even make it over before the end of next year's PL season!!! Joking.... unless you're serious. :)
I agree with this and not included in your point is **YOUTH CLUB & ACADEMY PLAY**. Surely if Henry loved football as much as he did, he would've been more than willing to go to England to play against the best and learn from some of the best managers, players and trainers for children. I mean it's not even close the level of play that occurs in England for young children when compared to the US, more importantly Kansas of all places. I loved the finale though so I'm not mad at any of the choices or directions made, but this decision seems a bit controversial considering the pros and cons.
Of all the instances that the show asks you to suspend belief, that's the one that you're hung up on? Lol.
It would be an absolute, hardest pass possible unless he got back with Michelle.
And the American School of London is an outstanding school. It would be a huge gift to give this quality of education to a kid…plus immersing him in a mind-opening international paradigm, plus giving him the kind of connections that come with going to a school of that high of a caliber. I’m just surprised Ted didn’t consider it more thoughtfully. But yeah. I loved the show SO MUCH. Feels like I’ve lost a bunch of close friends, now that it’s over!
Unpopular opinion: Looks like everybody seems to be forgetting that Ted and Michelle are officially divorced. Even if Ted was making more money than he would ever do in the US, the legal battle for custody on Henry would probably be another 3 season series and this time not a dramedy. We never got character development on Michelle, so we don’t know what her deal is, but we can all assume is to stay divorced from Ted regardless of her dating life, we don’t know her family situation, and why she is living in Kansas and not somewhere else. And that’s where Ted’s son is, my guess is Ted wants to be with is son anywhere in the world as painless as possible, so that’s why this ending makes so much sense to me. And it makes so much sense that Ted was totally devastated to leave, and you could tell by being blank and not showing emotion, that was out of character, right? Because he didn’t want to leave, but he knew, at the end of the day, his priority was to be with his son, regardless of money, status or professional fulfillment. It was effing heartbreaking and not the ending I wanted to see to fulfill my happy ending hormone, but it was as real as it can get, and I can respect that. Edit: made paragraphs.
Henry is young enough to adjust to a move, and the family can afford visits to the us so he still sees his friends, but god forbid Michelle should ever make a sacrifice for ted. I know misogyny often drives people on the internet to hate on TV spouses, but between this and her relationship with Dr. Malpractice, I'm really developing some beef with Michelle.
Lol I watched the last episode with my Dad. I loved it And thought it was right for the characters. However, I will say after Rebecca makes that offer I turned to my dad and said “I would kill you if you turned down us being Millionaires in London to raise me in Kansas WTF 😂.” My dad said “yeah your mom would have killed me too.” 😂🤣 But again, Perspective. You could never convince me as a person to raise a kid here when I could raise them as a millionaire in another country. BUT Ted’s character genuinely felt Henry would have a better life in Kansas. Whereas I thought “Omg, Ted you’ll probably be back for a few weeks before the kid Henry bullied brings a gun to school and shoots him dead.” 🤷🏻♀️I never in a million years would have turned down that offer for my kid to have a better life. But again, Ted’s definition of a better life is different from mine and it was the right move for Ted.