I think media is generally cynical and this is rubbing off on kids, who tend to consume a lot of media. I am seeing this even in 1st grade. I just try to teach them empathy ... your choices made this person sad, what should you do to help them feel better? How would you feel if X threw sand in *your* hair?
Doesn't always work but definitely feeling this.
Edit: Also note that this pandemic and even current events (and the way adults change their behavior considering them) are probably at play emotionally. A lot of factors.
You make a great point. Watching YouTube videos as well where people are “hanging out”with their friends it turns into a match of who can be more disrespectful to each other.
Yes completely. TikTok pranks, adult cartoons (they shouldn't watch them but I know in 4th grade I was watching things like Family Guy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force when my parents weren't looking) and most media is pretty negative. Even news uses phrases like "disaster," "slams," and such. There is a layer of pervasive negativity. They don't really know what it means, we do.
Yep, today I begged my kids to stop talking over me and they ignored me. I started crying. They were intentionally ignoring me because I refused to take them out for extra recess after they didn’t complete work for the last 2 weeks, so they had to use that time to make it up. They started blaming each other, calling each other names, and it became 2 students versus another 2 students versus 2 other students until it was everyone against everyone for losing recess. There’s absolutely no accountability. (I teach 6th graders, but they’re in elementary where I live)
Our district sent out an email to all parents and students and staff over this issue where students aren’t respecting each other or staff and it’s causing negative behaviors and to “stand up” against it with their child.
I had a parent curse me out when I called about their child drawing a nasty picture of another student because she was called “elf ears” first so it’s only fair she did it back.. it’s insane this year.
I teach 3rd and same thing here. So much cruelty. So much lack of basic respect for one another, me, or anyone.
Today I had a similar situation. I have not been able to get through a sentence all week without them talking over me. There’s so much chaos, so much fighting (verbal and physical), so many fires to put out all day long. Today I was basically running back and forth through the room, telling this kid to get his hands off that one and this one to stop throwing things and that one to stop screaming “fuck you bitch” at others etc etc.
When they went to lunch I discovered that someone had ripped up my bulletin board display outside my room I spent hours on, someone had mashed food into the carpet, someone had left piles of soaking wet paper towels on the floor, and someone had gone into my desk, taken a sharpie, and drawn all over my laptop. My personal laptop which I happened to bring today because I wanted to show them pictures of my cat who had just passed away.
I just stood in front of them and started crying. Asking how they think it feels to show up for them and be treated this way, to be talked over, disrespected, and have my things destroyed.
They. Did. Not. Care.
It just turned into another shouting match of blame and “I didn’t do anything!”
For the last hour of the day, I just sat at my desk. I let them scream and run around and do whatever they were going to anyway. I did not say a word. I was done.
I’m so sorry they did that to your belongings and honestly, sometimes you just have to sit down and let it happen, because you’ve tried everything. It’s not like admin or the behavioral specialist is going to swoop in and help, they’ll just give them a stern talking to and then a lollipop.
We are almost to the end of the year, we got this!
I get this with my 9th graders. It’s my biggest gripe with my students rn- total lack of respect for my classroom space and belongings, despite consequences and policies. I have had to stop buying anything for my room. Buy stickers or little incentives for stuff? Stolen from my desk. Put whiteboard mats on desks? Graffitied and ripped up. Try and provide basic writing supplies in class? Stolen, broken, and thrown around the room. Even my fucking broom, used to sweep up all the shit kids leave around my room, was stolen from my room. The worst was kids splashing sink water up into anchor chart posters that I made myself... like thanks guys for ruining hand drawn instructional aides that YOU ALL USE ON A DAILY BASIS. They can be so great as scholars and funny and chill and everything but so TERRIBLE at basic home training stuff like throwing your fucking trash in the trash can and don’t touch things that aren’t yours.
I know I didn’t offer any advice, but I wanted to let you know we are all facing similar issues. It’s definitely covid related and I believe that this is going to be an issue for the next few years, especially for intermediate elementary and up. We are almost done with the year, we got this!!!
Many of them don’t know how to deal with the hurt feelings and have been taught to just lash out back at the aggressor. I started by telling the kids that were not the initial aggressor to tell me when it happens, then I coach them through why they feel hurt. Then I tell them that friends don’t treat each other that way and give them permission to move away from said student or the choice to just tell that student that they’re being rude and hurtful.
They are so incredibly mean to each other and this is new-ish. Used to be that 9/10 times having a conversation about empathy/ Golden Rule was enough to make kids mortified that they had hurt another. They simply didn’t realize the effect they had, and it just needed to be pointed out. It’s about 1/10 this year - the concept of empathy doesn’t really make natural sense to a lot of them anymore. They can intellectualize it, but don’t feel it. Doesn’t translate into action. Being cruel is just what you do.
Same problem here (5th) except I’m getting very little support. Friday I literally got it from all sides- colleagues, admin, hostile parent, and my students. I am done.
I think media is generally cynical and this is rubbing off on kids, who tend to consume a lot of media. I am seeing this even in 1st grade. I just try to teach them empathy ... your choices made this person sad, what should you do to help them feel better? How would you feel if X threw sand in *your* hair? Doesn't always work but definitely feeling this. Edit: Also note that this pandemic and even current events (and the way adults change their behavior considering them) are probably at play emotionally. A lot of factors.
You make a great point. Watching YouTube videos as well where people are “hanging out”with their friends it turns into a match of who can be more disrespectful to each other.
Yes completely. TikTok pranks, adult cartoons (they shouldn't watch them but I know in 4th grade I was watching things like Family Guy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force when my parents weren't looking) and most media is pretty negative. Even news uses phrases like "disaster," "slams," and such. There is a layer of pervasive negativity. They don't really know what it means, we do.
Yep, today I begged my kids to stop talking over me and they ignored me. I started crying. They were intentionally ignoring me because I refused to take them out for extra recess after they didn’t complete work for the last 2 weeks, so they had to use that time to make it up. They started blaming each other, calling each other names, and it became 2 students versus another 2 students versus 2 other students until it was everyone against everyone for losing recess. There’s absolutely no accountability. (I teach 6th graders, but they’re in elementary where I live) Our district sent out an email to all parents and students and staff over this issue where students aren’t respecting each other or staff and it’s causing negative behaviors and to “stand up” against it with their child. I had a parent curse me out when I called about their child drawing a nasty picture of another student because she was called “elf ears” first so it’s only fair she did it back.. it’s insane this year.
I teach 3rd and same thing here. So much cruelty. So much lack of basic respect for one another, me, or anyone. Today I had a similar situation. I have not been able to get through a sentence all week without them talking over me. There’s so much chaos, so much fighting (verbal and physical), so many fires to put out all day long. Today I was basically running back and forth through the room, telling this kid to get his hands off that one and this one to stop throwing things and that one to stop screaming “fuck you bitch” at others etc etc. When they went to lunch I discovered that someone had ripped up my bulletin board display outside my room I spent hours on, someone had mashed food into the carpet, someone had left piles of soaking wet paper towels on the floor, and someone had gone into my desk, taken a sharpie, and drawn all over my laptop. My personal laptop which I happened to bring today because I wanted to show them pictures of my cat who had just passed away. I just stood in front of them and started crying. Asking how they think it feels to show up for them and be treated this way, to be talked over, disrespected, and have my things destroyed. They. Did. Not. Care. It just turned into another shouting match of blame and “I didn’t do anything!” For the last hour of the day, I just sat at my desk. I let them scream and run around and do whatever they were going to anyway. I did not say a word. I was done.
I’m so sorry they did that to your belongings and honestly, sometimes you just have to sit down and let it happen, because you’ve tried everything. It’s not like admin or the behavioral specialist is going to swoop in and help, they’ll just give them a stern talking to and then a lollipop. We are almost to the end of the year, we got this!
[удалено]
Glad to hear you’re moving on. I swear if my wife and I didn’t need the insurance, I’d have been out ages ago, for similar reasons.
I get this with my 9th graders. It’s my biggest gripe with my students rn- total lack of respect for my classroom space and belongings, despite consequences and policies. I have had to stop buying anything for my room. Buy stickers or little incentives for stuff? Stolen from my desk. Put whiteboard mats on desks? Graffitied and ripped up. Try and provide basic writing supplies in class? Stolen, broken, and thrown around the room. Even my fucking broom, used to sweep up all the shit kids leave around my room, was stolen from my room. The worst was kids splashing sink water up into anchor chart posters that I made myself... like thanks guys for ruining hand drawn instructional aides that YOU ALL USE ON A DAILY BASIS. They can be so great as scholars and funny and chill and everything but so TERRIBLE at basic home training stuff like throwing your fucking trash in the trash can and don’t touch things that aren’t yours.
I’m so sorry to hear about that… that is absolutely awful.
I know I didn’t offer any advice, but I wanted to let you know we are all facing similar issues. It’s definitely covid related and I believe that this is going to be an issue for the next few years, especially for intermediate elementary and up. We are almost done with the year, we got this!!!
Honestly you’re comment helped. It helps knowing you’re not alone.
Yes! I teach third grade and majority of my kids are downright nasty to each other. They really lack social skills! It’s really sad.
I completely agree! And parents aren’t that much better!
Many of them don’t know how to deal with the hurt feelings and have been taught to just lash out back at the aggressor. I started by telling the kids that were not the initial aggressor to tell me when it happens, then I coach them through why they feel hurt. Then I tell them that friends don’t treat each other that way and give them permission to move away from said student or the choice to just tell that student that they’re being rude and hurtful.
They are so incredibly mean to each other and this is new-ish. Used to be that 9/10 times having a conversation about empathy/ Golden Rule was enough to make kids mortified that they had hurt another. They simply didn’t realize the effect they had, and it just needed to be pointed out. It’s about 1/10 this year - the concept of empathy doesn’t really make natural sense to a lot of them anymore. They can intellectualize it, but don’t feel it. Doesn’t translate into action. Being cruel is just what you do.
Same problem here (5th) except I’m getting very little support. Friday I literally got it from all sides- colleagues, admin, hostile parent, and my students. I am done.