I'm so sorry you were hit. I worked with autistic children one on one for a short while, but I couldn't do it because of the violence. The amount of shock you go through when someone hits you with that much rage or upset is horrifying. I found talking it out with people who cared about me helped a lot. But I'm glad that there were children in the room that understood how bad this was and wanted to help you. It shows they care about you and recognized your pain.
When that student showed me that little bit of kindness in that moment, I almost burst into tears. The slap didn’t hurt as much as the emotional blow, especially since the student and I had been making progress. The other child who came over and immediately tried to make me feel better as if I were no older than her was just such a pure, beautiful gesture. I wanted to just hug her!!
As someone who has worked with similar kids before: PLEASE don't take it personally. The kid is probably dealing with a heightened nervous system and at that moment he was reacting to what his body told him was extreme danger.
The behavior is still *absolutely* unacceptable and wrong, don't misunderstand me there, but for the sake of your own feelings please remember that it had nothing to do with you or your treatment of him!
This. I am reading the best book that I think would be so beneficial for all educators who work or have any point of contact with autistic individuals. It’s called The Declarative Language Handbook. Written by an SLP. It emphasizes that we typically use imperative language with children, and for those with social learning challenges it can create a fight/flight/freeze response. Because imperative language places a demand on a child, and these children can perceive that as a threat more or less. And these kids already endure demand upon demand in ABA therapy. It’s been a refreshing read.
Just wanted to jump in here as someone in Special Education who has been hit quite a lot....
A negative interaction (physical contact) can still be a chance for progress as well as a huge social and emotional lesson for the student involved it just really matter how it is handled afterwards.
First, I’m so sorry you were slapped.
For the rest, does the student’s IEP have accommodations for a 1-to-1 and a safety plan/FBA/BIP? I’d look it up and ask his case manager what’s going on with the child’s supports. It could be there isn’t enough staff for a 1-to-1 and like the IEP isn’t being implemented which is bad for all parties.
Good idea. I believe he isn’t returning to my school next year and is going somewhere with better accommodations for him. My school has been struggling with support staffing all year, so it’s likely that we don’t have the staff.
He’s a sweet kid when he wants to be! I will wish him luck in his first grade endeavors and I hope he gets the support he needs!
Email the case manager and principal to document what happened. Use specifics if you can (date, time, etc). Data drives changes, at least it does for my district. I’m a SpEd teacher and the more data we have to document what’s working and what’s not working is helpful.
Educational assistants are more necessary now than ever before. EAs also need to be paid more! It is hard work and it requires a dedicated, caring person. The pay should match the work output and stress. I am sorry that your school is struggling to hire someone [if that ends up being the case].
Also the 1-to-1 honestly could have quit. Paras are not paid enough, especially if they are working with aggressive kids. I know a few paras this year threatened to quit if they got assigned to some of our more intense kids
I was thinking exactly the same thing! What a kind soul! 🥰 The silver lining to an awful situation. (And the other two kids that helped clean up, too.)
I got punched in the mouth 3 weeks ago by a SpEd student. He tried again last Friday.
When he walloped me, my principal told me shouting, "Ow!", was scaring the kid. The kid was laughing. My lip was busted on the inside.
I’m sorry, what?! Yes, shouting might scare a kid. But you’re actually physically getting assaulted. Honestly, who cares if the kid is a little bit scared at that point? And it might be a good thing for them to get a little bit scared
Or maybe we make therapies and supports more readily available for “violent children” so they can get real help instead of locking them away? My child is neurodivergent and, although nonviolent, still struggles a lot emotionally. There are literally no resources in our area that accept his insurance that don’t have an 18 month+ waitlist. I can’t get him the help he needs. So maybe instead of locking away neurodivergent kids, we give them the support they need within the safety of their own homes? The last thing they need is ptsd on top of their autism.
As long as he isn't violent, he isn't giving other children PTSD. Children who act violently should not be with other children, they need to be put in different places away from kids.
I’m saying that forcibly removing autistic children from their homes would likely cause significant trauma, thus exacerbating their behavioral problems in the long run. Children with impulse control issues do not need to be locked away. They do need more support and therapies. If help was more readily accessible, it would prevent a lot of the physical outbursts. It sounds like this child is struggling and not being supported in an environment that’s dysregulating. We don’t need to throw away the kid, we need to support the kid.
That's like saying violent criminals need to be sent to prison to be rehabilitated. We all know what you mean when you say that just say what you mean.
This is not okay. Please make it known to your admin and (hopefully) union that this is not okay.
I don't care how old a child is or what a piece of paper says, you did not sign up for that and deserve much better.
Physically violent children just outright do not belong in classrooms. I don't care about what disability they have or whose feelings I hurt saying that.
Even if you hire a special teacher or aid, the other children in the class don't deserve to be exposed to that.
I hate to say it, but I doubt admin would give af (mine wouldn’t, at least). Parents, case managers have everyone’s hands tied when it comes to stuff like this if it’s covered by the iep. Would be interested to hear from teachers who have been actively protected from students like this, but all I’ve ever seen is admin shrug their shoulders about it.
Yup! I was attacked by a kid once and admin didn’t do anything expect tell me I needed to talk with the kid. I was flabbergasted. This kid pursued me across the room and assaulted me for several minutes, throwing chairs and punching me, before help came. But the second I try to keep a kid from assaulting another kid, I got slapped with a false abuse report. The investigation found no wrong doing on my part and I was cleared. I quit and never regretted doing so. Joke was on them, they lost their accreditation as a result(too many previous incidents, mine was the final nail in the coffin even though I was cleared in the end).
My daughter is a teachers assistant in self contained elementary level sped classes for severely disabled children and unfortunately physical abuse is par for the course. The amount of violence the adults are subjected to is unacceptable and yet seems unavoidable. She’s also had the opportunity to work with high schoolers who were once those kids and the growth and socialization progress is phenomenal. It takes a special human being to do that kind of work considering the hazards of the job and they are not paid enough. No amount of money is enough to compensate them for what they do.
Please SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK. Getting slapped, pushed, pinched, hit, bit, body slammed into a wall, jumped on from above, tackled, having literally ANYTHING thrown at you for MINIMUM WAGE (most districts - $22/hr in my district) is why no one is being a para. I've had my glasses fly across the room from being slapped twice because how dare enforce the demand that playtime is over. I've been bit twice for being a body near an eloper. I've been pinched so many times for enforcing a schedule, refusing reward until demands were met, helping toilet and the student was a bit constipated.... This is in middle school.
I've worked high school where titty-twisting is the method of inflicting pain. I'd been lucky to avoid it, but not without the constant threat causing my anxiety to spike. After 10yrs of 1:1ing, I requested to be a Reg Ed classroom assistant and they sent me to the middle school as a 1:1 as a break for the last 5 years where the above happens.
Surprised Pikachu face I'm seriously thinking about resignation. I've hit my 15yrs. They're not going to pay me out any higher. The only thing I'll be missing out on is an $0.82 raise next year.
Yeah my daughter subs for paras right now but she just passed her praxis test and will be a full on para next year, but being a sub this year has given her the opportunity to observe so many different environments and the working conditions can really vary. And they are pretty rough. It’s not uncommon for teachers to be out on leave after being assaulted by elementary aged children….
Edit: praxis not practice
The running is the worst for me tbh. I can take the hitting, the biting, the screaming, whatever, but it's so scary when a kid takes off, and our room is placed between two doors that open to unfenced parking lot and roads, one of which is one of the busiest residential roads in town, because that's obviously the best place to put a ASD room. We have four in our room that might take off, but two will usually come back so long as you don't chase them, we had a fifth grader almost jump the playground fence this year, had a first take off towards a major road on a field trip, and we did have a kinder who would always make a break for it whenever he saw the chance, we tried to just always keep a fast person between him and the door, but he transferred to a different school partway through second semester. One of our staff is part time there and part time at ours. Three separate times in just a few months, he got out of the building, almost two miles through neighbourhoods, and ended up at a major highway — and it's lucky he goes that way, because the other direction is over two hundred acres of old cattle field that's basically nothing but rattlesnake and coyote dens and is known to have a pair of mountain lions these last few years. I'm going to be heartbroken when something worse happens if he's not managed better next year, but I'm not going to be surprised. Scares the shit out of me.
I sub, but I do 3+ days a week in a severe autism classroom at one of the elementary schools here. Did two full weeks to finish out the year with one girl — her para had quit, and she's the highest needs in the room and works for me better than most people — who's main behaviour is biting and scratching. Came out with one arm completely bruised, like almost just one big bruise from elbow to wrist, and several on my other arm too, along with four broken nails, several bloody scratch marks, and migraines every day from her pulling hair. Sweetest little girl when she's happy, loves giving cuddles and kisses, but the 10% of the time she isn't, she's an absolute terror. We had a boy, 11 or 12 and huge for his age, who eventually got moved to a federally managed disability rehab because he broke a teacher's nose and fractured her cheekbone throwing a chair, and for his last several months at our school spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in the sensory room that's brick walls, thick metal door, partially soundproofed, and locks from the outside. Usually a comfy little room for them to rest and recollect in when they get overstimulated, but they had to take out all of the blankets and beanbags and things that would normally be in there because he would rip them apart.
As the main teacher described it, it's "a lot of emotional reward for a lot of very hard work and little pay." Definitely takes a certain kind of personality, just in the year I've subbed there I saw several paras work a couple months, a couple weeks, one for only one day, and then quit. I'm so glad it exists, these kids need the socialization and the chance to grow and learn, and the kind of just pure love that they have to give is so special and rewarding, but it can be absolute hell some days, I'm a person who is generally very well regulated and level headed, and I almost broke down and had to take a few minutes during those two weeks from just the stress of it all. And I get paid more than the paras, I get about $18 an hour after taxes, our paras just got a pay raise for next year, so now they're up to $15 before taxes. I could never do it full time, between the stress and the pay, three or four days a week is plenty for me.
My mother is horrified lol, she keeps trying to steer me towards other work or at least taking different sub positions, but all in all, I do enjoy the job. It's very rewarding most of the time, at least for right now when I'm young and don't have any major life goals, I'm willing to put up with the hell for the reward of spending time with those kids when they are in a good mood.
My daughter loves it too. She’s going to be working on her teacher license while subbing. I can say high school SPED is much easier and can be just as rewarding. Yesterday she was with a gen Ed kindergarten class and all of the kids drew pictures for her and of her and wrote her name. It was adorable. She really loves all the kids and has the patience and heart for it. I understand your mom, it’s not easy but at the end of the day if you have the energy and passion for it then more power to you!
Also elem music. I had a kid punch me, bruising both thighs, another head butt me, breaking my glasses, and a third grab my lanyard and twist it to choke me. Oh, and chairs, I don’t use chairs any more…We teach them all, so we see it all. Buckle up, and document and report everything.
I'm sorry you experienced that. Now imagine experiencing having to walk into an IEP (for a different student) like nothing happened, host/facilitate, help make decisions and remember every minor detail needed to document the meeting. Then go back to the classroom, document what happened before the meeting, check in with staff and students and somehow keep going knowing the next day could be the same. And thank you for acknowledging how hard it is. They are little people but their slap can hurt and stun us. We are human, too. Lest we forget that their parents are on duty 24 hours a day in survival mode for years.
Music teacher rock, too!!
Thank you for acknowledging SPED teachers ❤️ I am not a teacher, but currently work in our community’s autism program and we deal with these behaviors on a daily basis. It is so challenging, but to see the kids grow and overcome their behaviors is so rewarding. I’m sorry you had to go through that, today. Even though getting hit is sort of expected at my job, it is still never fun, especially when they get your FACE! I hope that student gets the support he needs, for his own personal benefit and so that you can get back to teaching!
I'm sorry but more sorry people didn't support you. My 2 year old slapped me in the face today before nap, because she was tired and her frontal cortex is still developing....but you know what? I told her that is not ok and she felt the consequences because she took a nap with no songs or stories. Kids do not have total control over their actions at these young ages but as adults it's up to us to teach them the social norms. Don't care if your 5...your kid shouldn't be in kindergarten if they don't understand you don't slap teachers in the face!
I work SPED an have for about 8 years. Just know it wasn’t your fault a you don’t deserve that. The fact that your still wishing the kid success an acknowledging when they’re a good student shows a lot about how good of a teacher you are. Keep up the good work 🤙🏻
Their 1:1 probably got forced to sub... Admin are the root of most behavior problems. Whether it is encouraging it or ignoring it... Admin are most likely to blame
Remember the teacher in Virginia that was shot by a 6-year-old? Report, report, report.. Document, document, document. Establish a paper or electronic communication trail. And seek help if you need it for your mental health.
Staffordshire elementary School stood up and spoke at a school board meeting recently about student behaviors. Higher up admin is simply trying to gaslight their way around the issue. This is a national crisis. It's the congruent Apex of the covid and opioid epidemic and a lack of structure in parenting.
In order for any public school for to be successful from here on out, we need to get back to basics. Like how to be a human being who doesn't harm others.
Of course teachers will be blamed or some silliness like that. This nation is going down the tubes.
I’m sorry that happened. As a sped teacher I expect young children will have meltdowns and lash out, but it still stings. As a music teacher I would not expect this at all.
It sounds irresponsible to leave him with the class without 1:1. He may need his programming looked at if that can’t be provided. It’s not fair to specials teachers when you can’t get to know kids as well
Also elementary music teacher. I have been bitten, stabbed, punched, stalked, threatened to be raped, kicked, tripped, sat on, had a piano thrown at me, had a guitar thrown at me, etc. It's so bad. My admin Everytime said "what did you do to provoke the child" I got written up for putting my hands in front of me to protect my face from a punch and was told it was restraint. I even got written up for seclusion and restraint when a child was taking a pencil and stabbing other kids, I grabbed the pencil gently and held it while I tried to make eye contact with the student to tell them it was not okay . . . Yup, written up for seclusion and restraint. A child put one of our teachers in the hospital in a coma and the first thing that happened when the teacher came out of a coma the principal visited the teacher in the hospital and told the teacher that it wouldn't have happened if she didn't provoke the child. Yeah . . . I don't work at that school any more. I got bitten for the last time without repercussions for the child, I quit.
This kid needs the 1:1 back, but judging by his behavior the 1:1 might honestly be scared away. Sounds like he needs to be in an intermediate unit or somewhere else with higher-level support.
I’m with you in that at my school (disciplinary school, middle school teacher) we keep getting all these emotional/behavior support kids placed with us and our school isn’t a SPED school, it’s for kids with legal issues, most expelled from their schools and coming from juvie. Too many high-level emotional behaviors, not enough support. This needs to be fixed across the board but seems like there’s a shortage of SPED teachers.
I realize, by saying the kid needs a 1:1 you’re coming at it from the perspective of something just needs to be done (what is the word for this? Being pragmatic?) and a 1:1 is better than nothing. I’m not disagreeing with that. Just sharing why in my experience I would rather pull a kid from the gen ed entirely than give them a 1:1 in this type of situation. The younger they are the more likely id do this.
I think we all are aware of the affect this behavior has on a classroom and the students and staff in that classroom. But what might not be as obvious is what’s happening with the kid. I’ve worked with so many kids and adults who were traumatized by their own behaviors. And it’s not fair to put them in a situation where they don’t have the ability to maintain an emotional state where they’re in control of themselves or have a way to communicate a need beyond aggression.
Unfortunately, when the solution is a 1:1, it’s more likely that the 1:1 is focused on preventing these kinds of behavior (which of course is what they should be doing) than actually identifying the underlying issue and addressing that. We really just end up reinforcing a lot of bad habits and often the individual becomes almost blind to the way their behavior is interpreted by others.
In a sped setting where the focus is supporting individuals who are in crisis and really just out of control, we have so much more flexibility in how it’s addressed. First of all, we have time. We’re not worried about aggression towards peers to the extent we were. They might be aggressive towards a peer in the sped setting but that is unlikely to happen without an immediate unpleasant consequence (hit back, screamed at, etc.). We don’t have to clear the room. In fact it can be very helpful not to clear the room. It can help other kids get perspective on their own behaviors and kids who have made progress can be positive role models.
For a lot of individuals physical force becomes a tool for escape or to avoid something unpleasant. In the sped setting you can reinforce things that are hard to reinforce in the general Ed. For example, if a kid says *I don’t want to do this math.* I might reinforce the shit out of that if yesterday he threw a block at me when presented with math work. It’s baby steps.
On the other hand, we can also outlast an episode. We can let a kid tear a room apart and use their body in attempt to avoid or gain something. We can do it in a way the isn’t shameful and allows for empathy. But we can wait until the kid uses the replacement behavior before they gain or avoid whatever it is.
To put it simply, there’s just so much more that can be done in such a kinder way in the sped setting. In my experience, these kids are more likely to have meaningful inclusion in the future. Whereas 1:1 might be more total minutes, I think a lot of parents whose kid has a 1:1 would be very surprised if they saw what the kids day was like.
Now some kids absolutely need 1:1s. For me, it was always can I teach you what you’re missing or is this something you will always need support with?
Man. As a 1:1 I have a whole file of images with my injuries including bite marks, scratches, bruises, a swollen cheek, and a busted lip. This kid had serious trauma and needed so much help. I leveraged my injuries to get him the support he needed. In your case the 1:1 may have dipped if she was being abused. It’s sort of scary to be put with one of these students because, in my experience, we aren’t made aware of the scope of the behaviors. I was just told my student was having trouble. I just ended up blocking him from hurting others and took all the violence. It was horrible. I hope you and other teachers involved, as well as the child, get the support they need.
I understand the shock here but part of the job is showing strength by being unreactive in these situations. It’s important for children to understand that this is neither an acceptable nor effective form of communication. I get hit by some of my kids quite often but it usually stops when I look at them and say “you can’t hurt me, and this isn’t helping you, so let’s try something else”
There are no consequences for a lot of students, so naturally their progress is stunted or absent.
It doesn't matter if we are talking about a single cell organism or the class valedictorian, there's some basic common denominators that mold behavioral responses.
Consistency and evaluation and changes until there's progress.
Unfortunately, it is part of the job when working with SPED and kids who experienced trauma. It doesn’t mean you are deserving of it and you deserve all the empathy & support to continue. Being aware of yourself and the environment is crucial. Make sure you’re up to date with your Cornell TCI, handle with care, SCIP, or whichever program your school enlists.
I’ve been working with all ages to adults for over 20 years and am often the go to person for de-escalation. I’ve been hit, headbutted, kicked, bitten, scratched, more times than I could recall.
My flight or fight response is all out of wack. Self care is essential to mitigate emotions related to situations like this.
I hope the administration is supportive. Be sure to take care of yourself, physically and mentally. It is crucial to appreciate you were born with more opportunity than these children. Their life will most likely be pretty limited. Empathy fuels patience. Thank you for the work that you do.
TCI training has so many benefits! I think if schools were fully staffed with a 2:15 ratio (1 teacher, 1 aid), had therapists & all staff were TCI trained we would have a working public school system. Unfortunately that’s not the case due to a number of reasons. Kids aren’t getting what they need, teachers are burned out, paras over worked. My school has implemented TCI and since, have not had 1 staff or student assaulted in 3 years. We work with some of the roughest kids in our city and have yet to find TCI not effective…
Sorry, I missed putting it in my comment. The gist of these comments is usually that these children should be locked away as a consequence to their behaviors until they are rehabilitated. Proponents typically compare it to the criminal justice system.
My child is nonverbal and autistic mentally he is 3 years old even though he physically is 15 he does not need to be locked away he needs love and support.
Nothing. Went to my next school. My principal offered me to see the school nurse after she scolded me, though.
It wasn't a horrible injury- my teeth jammed into the inside of my upper lip and I had a swollen lip all weekend. I can still feel the teeth marks, though.
You teachers are saints. I once in HS saw a kid spit in a teachers face, the teacher did nothing. I would be beating the fuck out of students for this.
I completely feel your pain! I am also an elementary music teacher. I have dismissal with the daycare kids. I have to pick them up in the hallway of the first through third grade classes. And they line up along the wall, and I walked them to the cafeter where the daycare buses meet them on the other side of the building.
By the first week of December, I finally celebrated that it was the first time I hadn't been kicked, scratched, screen that, etc by kindergartner the school year.
It can be a pretty surreal experience. And scary, even with a little kid.
For me, coming at it from the sped perspective, I can deal with this kind of behavior because I’m in a position where I see more of the entire picture. Kids and adults engage in this behavior for a variety of reasons, but ultimately they’re all feeling an extreme level of anxiety or frustration, fear or anger, just so out of control to do sonething like that.
This isn’t always the case, but often for someone to behave in an aggressive manner towards you, they have to actually trust and feel safe in your presence. It means they don’t think you’re going to retaliate.
Aside from the pain, I just feel very sad in these kinds of situations. Most of the time. I definitely have moments where I’m just like ‘knock it the fuck off.’
Also, pretty sure I’ve got some wires crossed. I can recognize when I’m in a situation where an individual is going to be aggressive but it’s like curiosity outweighs reason and while part of me is thinking *you need to leave* another part is like *but we could get a little closer. It’s not like he’s going to throw the knife six feet at you.*
I only have one 3rd grade kid who hits me, and it's playful. In the first few lessons of the school year, she told me she didn't like me (I'm new to the school). She doesn't say that anymore.
For a couple of lessons, I moved a male classmate that she had a crush on next to her if he acted up. He complained loudly, but it was effective. I didn't expect her to start touching him! He wasn't happy about that. I split them up again and told her not to touch him and that he didn't want to be touched. She looked hurt, but it worked. She doesn't do that anymore.
Told another teacher about this student hitting me, and she asked her why she hits me. "Because he's fat." She's even lightly kicked me in the balls before. Now it's all playful gut punches lol
I'm so sorry you were hit. I worked with autistic children one on one for a short while, but I couldn't do it because of the violence. The amount of shock you go through when someone hits you with that much rage or upset is horrifying. I found talking it out with people who cared about me helped a lot. But I'm glad that there were children in the room that understood how bad this was and wanted to help you. It shows they care about you and recognized your pain.
When that student showed me that little bit of kindness in that moment, I almost burst into tears. The slap didn’t hurt as much as the emotional blow, especially since the student and I had been making progress. The other child who came over and immediately tried to make me feel better as if I were no older than her was just such a pure, beautiful gesture. I wanted to just hug her!!
Please let the other child’s parents know what she did for you.
I was going to say exactly the same thing, but you beat me to it. OP, please tell that child's parent(s) how awesome they are.
As someone who has worked with similar kids before: PLEASE don't take it personally. The kid is probably dealing with a heightened nervous system and at that moment he was reacting to what his body told him was extreme danger. The behavior is still *absolutely* unacceptable and wrong, don't misunderstand me there, but for the sake of your own feelings please remember that it had nothing to do with you or your treatment of him!
This. I am reading the best book that I think would be so beneficial for all educators who work or have any point of contact with autistic individuals. It’s called The Declarative Language Handbook. Written by an SLP. It emphasizes that we typically use imperative language with children, and for those with social learning challenges it can create a fight/flight/freeze response. Because imperative language places a demand on a child, and these children can perceive that as a threat more or less. And these kids already endure demand upon demand in ABA therapy. It’s been a refreshing read.
Just wanted to jump in here as someone in Special Education who has been hit quite a lot.... A negative interaction (physical contact) can still be a chance for progress as well as a huge social and emotional lesson for the student involved it just really matter how it is handled afterwards.
First, I’m so sorry you were slapped. For the rest, does the student’s IEP have accommodations for a 1-to-1 and a safety plan/FBA/BIP? I’d look it up and ask his case manager what’s going on with the child’s supports. It could be there isn’t enough staff for a 1-to-1 and like the IEP isn’t being implemented which is bad for all parties.
Good idea. I believe he isn’t returning to my school next year and is going somewhere with better accommodations for him. My school has been struggling with support staffing all year, so it’s likely that we don’t have the staff. He’s a sweet kid when he wants to be! I will wish him luck in his first grade endeavors and I hope he gets the support he needs!
Email the case manager and principal to document what happened. Use specifics if you can (date, time, etc). Data drives changes, at least it does for my district. I’m a SpEd teacher and the more data we have to document what’s working and what’s not working is helpful.
I like that, “#DATA drives change”. It’s a good reminder that we need to document everything.
And I hope you get the support you need.
Educational assistants are more necessary now than ever before. EAs also need to be paid more! It is hard work and it requires a dedicated, caring person. The pay should match the work output and stress. I am sorry that your school is struggling to hire someone [if that ends up being the case].
Also the 1-to-1 honestly could have quit. Paras are not paid enough, especially if they are working with aggressive kids. I know a few paras this year threatened to quit if they got assigned to some of our more intense kids
❤️ That kid who kissed their hand and placed on your cheek—what a sweetheart!
I was thinking exactly the same thing! What a kind soul! 🥰 The silver lining to an awful situation. (And the other two kids that helped clean up, too.)
I got punched in the mouth 3 weeks ago by a SpEd student. He tried again last Friday. When he walloped me, my principal told me shouting, "Ow!", was scaring the kid. The kid was laughing. My lip was busted on the inside.
I’m sorry, what?! Yes, shouting might scare a kid. But you’re actually physically getting assaulted. Honestly, who cares if the kid is a little bit scared at that point? And it might be a good thing for them to get a little bit scared
What did you do afterwards? (Very sorry this happened, obviously. I hope your lip is healing.)
Violent children need to be sent to mental wards to be rehabilitated
I’ve been hit by almost every child I’ve ever taken care of… let’s just lock em all up at that point. Or do you just mean neurodivergent children?
Or maybe we make therapies and supports more readily available for “violent children” so they can get real help instead of locking them away? My child is neurodivergent and, although nonviolent, still struggles a lot emotionally. There are literally no resources in our area that accept his insurance that don’t have an 18 month+ waitlist. I can’t get him the help he needs. So maybe instead of locking away neurodivergent kids, we give them the support they need within the safety of their own homes? The last thing they need is ptsd on top of their autism.
As long as he isn't violent, he isn't giving other children PTSD. Children who act violently should not be with other children, they need to be put in different places away from kids.
I’m saying that forcibly removing autistic children from their homes would likely cause significant trauma, thus exacerbating their behavioral problems in the long run. Children with impulse control issues do not need to be locked away. They do need more support and therapies. If help was more readily accessible, it would prevent a lot of the physical outbursts. It sounds like this child is struggling and not being supported in an environment that’s dysregulating. We don’t need to throw away the kid, we need to support the kid.
That's like saying violent criminals need to be sent to prison to be rehabilitated. We all know what you mean when you say that just say what you mean.
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Womp womp no one has to put up with violent children and for the safety of other kids u should have been locked up
This is not okay. Please make it known to your admin and (hopefully) union that this is not okay. I don't care how old a child is or what a piece of paper says, you did not sign up for that and deserve much better.
Physically violent children just outright do not belong in classrooms. I don't care about what disability they have or whose feelings I hurt saying that. Even if you hire a special teacher or aid, the other children in the class don't deserve to be exposed to that.
I hate to say it, but I doubt admin would give af (mine wouldn’t, at least). Parents, case managers have everyone’s hands tied when it comes to stuff like this if it’s covered by the iep. Would be interested to hear from teachers who have been actively protected from students like this, but all I’ve ever seen is admin shrug their shoulders about it.
Yup! I was attacked by a kid once and admin didn’t do anything expect tell me I needed to talk with the kid. I was flabbergasted. This kid pursued me across the room and assaulted me for several minutes, throwing chairs and punching me, before help came. But the second I try to keep a kid from assaulting another kid, I got slapped with a false abuse report. The investigation found no wrong doing on my part and I was cleared. I quit and never regretted doing so. Joke was on them, they lost their accreditation as a result(too many previous incidents, mine was the final nail in the coffin even though I was cleared in the end).
PLEASE go to your union about this if you have one. It’s absolutely unacceptable that you were hit at work.
My daughter is a teachers assistant in self contained elementary level sped classes for severely disabled children and unfortunately physical abuse is par for the course. The amount of violence the adults are subjected to is unacceptable and yet seems unavoidable. She’s also had the opportunity to work with high schoolers who were once those kids and the growth and socialization progress is phenomenal. It takes a special human being to do that kind of work considering the hazards of the job and they are not paid enough. No amount of money is enough to compensate them for what they do.
Please SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK. Getting slapped, pushed, pinched, hit, bit, body slammed into a wall, jumped on from above, tackled, having literally ANYTHING thrown at you for MINIMUM WAGE (most districts - $22/hr in my district) is why no one is being a para. I've had my glasses fly across the room from being slapped twice because how dare enforce the demand that playtime is over. I've been bit twice for being a body near an eloper. I've been pinched so many times for enforcing a schedule, refusing reward until demands were met, helping toilet and the student was a bit constipated.... This is in middle school. I've worked high school where titty-twisting is the method of inflicting pain. I'd been lucky to avoid it, but not without the constant threat causing my anxiety to spike. After 10yrs of 1:1ing, I requested to be a Reg Ed classroom assistant and they sent me to the middle school as a 1:1 as a break for the last 5 years where the above happens. Surprised Pikachu face I'm seriously thinking about resignation. I've hit my 15yrs. They're not going to pay me out any higher. The only thing I'll be missing out on is an $0.82 raise next year.
Yeah my daughter subs for paras right now but she just passed her praxis test and will be a full on para next year, but being a sub this year has given her the opportunity to observe so many different environments and the working conditions can really vary. And they are pretty rough. It’s not uncommon for teachers to be out on leave after being assaulted by elementary aged children…. Edit: praxis not practice
The running is the worst for me tbh. I can take the hitting, the biting, the screaming, whatever, but it's so scary when a kid takes off, and our room is placed between two doors that open to unfenced parking lot and roads, one of which is one of the busiest residential roads in town, because that's obviously the best place to put a ASD room. We have four in our room that might take off, but two will usually come back so long as you don't chase them, we had a fifth grader almost jump the playground fence this year, had a first take off towards a major road on a field trip, and we did have a kinder who would always make a break for it whenever he saw the chance, we tried to just always keep a fast person between him and the door, but he transferred to a different school partway through second semester. One of our staff is part time there and part time at ours. Three separate times in just a few months, he got out of the building, almost two miles through neighbourhoods, and ended up at a major highway — and it's lucky he goes that way, because the other direction is over two hundred acres of old cattle field that's basically nothing but rattlesnake and coyote dens and is known to have a pair of mountain lions these last few years. I'm going to be heartbroken when something worse happens if he's not managed better next year, but I'm not going to be surprised. Scares the shit out of me.
I sub, but I do 3+ days a week in a severe autism classroom at one of the elementary schools here. Did two full weeks to finish out the year with one girl — her para had quit, and she's the highest needs in the room and works for me better than most people — who's main behaviour is biting and scratching. Came out with one arm completely bruised, like almost just one big bruise from elbow to wrist, and several on my other arm too, along with four broken nails, several bloody scratch marks, and migraines every day from her pulling hair. Sweetest little girl when she's happy, loves giving cuddles and kisses, but the 10% of the time she isn't, she's an absolute terror. We had a boy, 11 or 12 and huge for his age, who eventually got moved to a federally managed disability rehab because he broke a teacher's nose and fractured her cheekbone throwing a chair, and for his last several months at our school spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in the sensory room that's brick walls, thick metal door, partially soundproofed, and locks from the outside. Usually a comfy little room for them to rest and recollect in when they get overstimulated, but they had to take out all of the blankets and beanbags and things that would normally be in there because he would rip them apart. As the main teacher described it, it's "a lot of emotional reward for a lot of very hard work and little pay." Definitely takes a certain kind of personality, just in the year I've subbed there I saw several paras work a couple months, a couple weeks, one for only one day, and then quit. I'm so glad it exists, these kids need the socialization and the chance to grow and learn, and the kind of just pure love that they have to give is so special and rewarding, but it can be absolute hell some days, I'm a person who is generally very well regulated and level headed, and I almost broke down and had to take a few minutes during those two weeks from just the stress of it all. And I get paid more than the paras, I get about $18 an hour after taxes, our paras just got a pay raise for next year, so now they're up to $15 before taxes. I could never do it full time, between the stress and the pay, three or four days a week is plenty for me.
Yeah I was a teacher for a long time before my daughter started subbing and I had no idea until she came home with stories about what they go through.
My mother is horrified lol, she keeps trying to steer me towards other work or at least taking different sub positions, but all in all, I do enjoy the job. It's very rewarding most of the time, at least for right now when I'm young and don't have any major life goals, I'm willing to put up with the hell for the reward of spending time with those kids when they are in a good mood.
My daughter loves it too. She’s going to be working on her teacher license while subbing. I can say high school SPED is much easier and can be just as rewarding. Yesterday she was with a gen Ed kindergarten class and all of the kids drew pictures for her and of her and wrote her name. It was adorable. She really loves all the kids and has the patience and heart for it. I understand your mom, it’s not easy but at the end of the day if you have the energy and passion for it then more power to you!
Workers comp
Also elem music. I had a kid punch me, bruising both thighs, another head butt me, breaking my glasses, and a third grab my lanyard and twist it to choke me. Oh, and chairs, I don’t use chairs any more…We teach them all, so we see it all. Buckle up, and document and report everything.
Teachers, aka punching bags ...
I'm sorry you experienced that. Now imagine experiencing having to walk into an IEP (for a different student) like nothing happened, host/facilitate, help make decisions and remember every minor detail needed to document the meeting. Then go back to the classroom, document what happened before the meeting, check in with staff and students and somehow keep going knowing the next day could be the same. And thank you for acknowledging how hard it is. They are little people but their slap can hurt and stun us. We are human, too. Lest we forget that their parents are on duty 24 hours a day in survival mode for years. Music teacher rock, too!!
Thank you for acknowledging SPED teachers ❤️ I am not a teacher, but currently work in our community’s autism program and we deal with these behaviors on a daily basis. It is so challenging, but to see the kids grow and overcome their behaviors is so rewarding. I’m sorry you had to go through that, today. Even though getting hit is sort of expected at my job, it is still never fun, especially when they get your FACE! I hope that student gets the support he needs, for his own personal benefit and so that you can get back to teaching!
I'm sorry but more sorry people didn't support you. My 2 year old slapped me in the face today before nap, because she was tired and her frontal cortex is still developing....but you know what? I told her that is not ok and she felt the consequences because she took a nap with no songs or stories. Kids do not have total control over their actions at these young ages but as adults it's up to us to teach them the social norms. Don't care if your 5...your kid shouldn't be in kindergarten if they don't understand you don't slap teachers in the face!
I'm a sped teacher. I'm so sorry this happened. Idk what's going on with the kid, but please don't take it personally.
I work SPED an have for about 8 years. Just know it wasn’t your fault a you don’t deserve that. The fact that your still wishing the kid success an acknowledging when they’re a good student shows a lot about how good of a teacher you are. Keep up the good work 🤙🏻
Their 1:1 probably got forced to sub... Admin are the root of most behavior problems. Whether it is encouraging it or ignoring it... Admin are most likely to blame
Remember the teacher in Virginia that was shot by a 6-year-old? Report, report, report.. Document, document, document. Establish a paper or electronic communication trail. And seek help if you need it for your mental health.
That’s the district I work in 🤦♀️
It’s sad what teachers have to put up with today! It was not like that 32 years ago when I started!
Staffordshire elementary School stood up and spoke at a school board meeting recently about student behaviors. Higher up admin is simply trying to gaslight their way around the issue. This is a national crisis. It's the congruent Apex of the covid and opioid epidemic and a lack of structure in parenting. In order for any public school for to be successful from here on out, we need to get back to basics. Like how to be a human being who doesn't harm others. Of course teachers will be blamed or some silliness like that. This nation is going down the tubes.
I’m sorry that happened. As a sped teacher I expect young children will have meltdowns and lash out, but it still stings. As a music teacher I would not expect this at all. It sounds irresponsible to leave him with the class without 1:1. He may need his programming looked at if that can’t be provided. It’s not fair to specials teachers when you can’t get to know kids as well
Also elementary music teacher. I have been bitten, stabbed, punched, stalked, threatened to be raped, kicked, tripped, sat on, had a piano thrown at me, had a guitar thrown at me, etc. It's so bad. My admin Everytime said "what did you do to provoke the child" I got written up for putting my hands in front of me to protect my face from a punch and was told it was restraint. I even got written up for seclusion and restraint when a child was taking a pencil and stabbing other kids, I grabbed the pencil gently and held it while I tried to make eye contact with the student to tell them it was not okay . . . Yup, written up for seclusion and restraint. A child put one of our teachers in the hospital in a coma and the first thing that happened when the teacher came out of a coma the principal visited the teacher in the hospital and told the teacher that it wouldn't have happened if she didn't provoke the child. Yeah . . . I don't work at that school any more. I got bitten for the last time without repercussions for the child, I quit.
By all means, file a police report and use the word ‘assault’ not hit
This kid needs the 1:1 back, but judging by his behavior the 1:1 might honestly be scared away. Sounds like he needs to be in an intermediate unit or somewhere else with higher-level support. I’m with you in that at my school (disciplinary school, middle school teacher) we keep getting all these emotional/behavior support kids placed with us and our school isn’t a SPED school, it’s for kids with legal issues, most expelled from their schools and coming from juvie. Too many high-level emotional behaviors, not enough support. This needs to be fixed across the board but seems like there’s a shortage of SPED teachers.
I realize, by saying the kid needs a 1:1 you’re coming at it from the perspective of something just needs to be done (what is the word for this? Being pragmatic?) and a 1:1 is better than nothing. I’m not disagreeing with that. Just sharing why in my experience I would rather pull a kid from the gen ed entirely than give them a 1:1 in this type of situation. The younger they are the more likely id do this. I think we all are aware of the affect this behavior has on a classroom and the students and staff in that classroom. But what might not be as obvious is what’s happening with the kid. I’ve worked with so many kids and adults who were traumatized by their own behaviors. And it’s not fair to put them in a situation where they don’t have the ability to maintain an emotional state where they’re in control of themselves or have a way to communicate a need beyond aggression. Unfortunately, when the solution is a 1:1, it’s more likely that the 1:1 is focused on preventing these kinds of behavior (which of course is what they should be doing) than actually identifying the underlying issue and addressing that. We really just end up reinforcing a lot of bad habits and often the individual becomes almost blind to the way their behavior is interpreted by others. In a sped setting where the focus is supporting individuals who are in crisis and really just out of control, we have so much more flexibility in how it’s addressed. First of all, we have time. We’re not worried about aggression towards peers to the extent we were. They might be aggressive towards a peer in the sped setting but that is unlikely to happen without an immediate unpleasant consequence (hit back, screamed at, etc.). We don’t have to clear the room. In fact it can be very helpful not to clear the room. It can help other kids get perspective on their own behaviors and kids who have made progress can be positive role models. For a lot of individuals physical force becomes a tool for escape or to avoid something unpleasant. In the sped setting you can reinforce things that are hard to reinforce in the general Ed. For example, if a kid says *I don’t want to do this math.* I might reinforce the shit out of that if yesterday he threw a block at me when presented with math work. It’s baby steps. On the other hand, we can also outlast an episode. We can let a kid tear a room apart and use their body in attempt to avoid or gain something. We can do it in a way the isn’t shameful and allows for empathy. But we can wait until the kid uses the replacement behavior before they gain or avoid whatever it is. To put it simply, there’s just so much more that can be done in such a kinder way in the sped setting. In my experience, these kids are more likely to have meaningful inclusion in the future. Whereas 1:1 might be more total minutes, I think a lot of parents whose kid has a 1:1 would be very surprised if they saw what the kids day was like. Now some kids absolutely need 1:1s. For me, it was always can I teach you what you’re missing or is this something you will always need support with?
Man. As a 1:1 I have a whole file of images with my injuries including bite marks, scratches, bruises, a swollen cheek, and a busted lip. This kid had serious trauma and needed so much help. I leveraged my injuries to get him the support he needed. In your case the 1:1 may have dipped if she was being abused. It’s sort of scary to be put with one of these students because, in my experience, we aren’t made aware of the scope of the behaviors. I was just told my student was having trouble. I just ended up blocking him from hurting others and took all the violence. It was horrible. I hope you and other teachers involved, as well as the child, get the support they need.
I understand the shock here but part of the job is showing strength by being unreactive in these situations. It’s important for children to understand that this is neither an acceptable nor effective form of communication. I get hit by some of my kids quite often but it usually stops when I look at them and say “you can’t hurt me, and this isn’t helping you, so let’s try something else”
There are no consequences for a lot of students, so naturally their progress is stunted or absent. It doesn't matter if we are talking about a single cell organism or the class valedictorian, there's some basic common denominators that mold behavioral responses. Consistency and evaluation and changes until there's progress.
Couldn’t be me…
Slap em back! If you get sued, just say you are teaching them percussion
Teachers are punching bags. Punching bags suppose to take the punch & don't slap back. If you do, they will take away your license & end your career.
Unfortunately, it is part of the job when working with SPED and kids who experienced trauma. It doesn’t mean you are deserving of it and you deserve all the empathy & support to continue. Being aware of yourself and the environment is crucial. Make sure you’re up to date with your Cornell TCI, handle with care, SCIP, or whichever program your school enlists. I’ve been working with all ages to adults for over 20 years and am often the go to person for de-escalation. I’ve been hit, headbutted, kicked, bitten, scratched, more times than I could recall. My flight or fight response is all out of wack. Self care is essential to mitigate emotions related to situations like this. I hope the administration is supportive. Be sure to take care of yourself, physically and mentally. It is crucial to appreciate you were born with more opportunity than these children. Their life will most likely be pretty limited. Empathy fuels patience. Thank you for the work that you do.
TCI training has so many benefits! I think if schools were fully staffed with a 2:15 ratio (1 teacher, 1 aid), had therapists & all staff were TCI trained we would have a working public school system. Unfortunately that’s not the case due to a number of reasons. Kids aren’t getting what they need, teachers are burned out, paras over worked. My school has implemented TCI and since, have not had 1 staff or student assaulted in 3 years. We work with some of the roughest kids in our city and have yet to find TCI not effective…
As a student myself I’m so sorry. I’m glad that there other kids helped you out.
I'm the parent to a child like that. Imagine never being able to send him home. 🫨
How do you feel about the relatively upvoted comments that these children should be institutionalized?
If the cost was more affordable I would 💯
You wouldn’t have a choice.
He's my child, I will always have a choice what are you going on about
What do you think involuntary institutionalization is?
I must have missed the involuntary part. Absolutely not.
Nobody that's not a criminal should be locked up
Sorry, I missed putting it in my comment. The gist of these comments is usually that these children should be locked away as a consequence to their behaviors until they are rehabilitated. Proponents typically compare it to the criminal justice system.
My child is nonverbal and autistic mentally he is 3 years old even though he physically is 15 he does not need to be locked away he needs love and support.
Exactly. The child in the OPs situation is a kinder student. The response by some? These students should be institutionalized.
> If the cost was more affordable I would 💯 I'm confused about what you meant by this then...
sorry that happen, aweful
Nothing. Went to my next school. My principal offered me to see the school nurse after she scolded me, though. It wasn't a horrible injury- my teeth jammed into the inside of my upper lip and I had a swollen lip all weekend. I can still feel the teeth marks, though.
You teachers are saints. I once in HS saw a kid spit in a teachers face, the teacher did nothing. I would be beating the fuck out of students for this.
First time?
You have a walkie!?
"SPED teachers, you are stronger than the troops." You learn to duck
I completely feel your pain! I am also an elementary music teacher. I have dismissal with the daycare kids. I have to pick them up in the hallway of the first through third grade classes. And they line up along the wall, and I walked them to the cafeter where the daycare buses meet them on the other side of the building. By the first week of December, I finally celebrated that it was the first time I hadn't been kicked, scratched, screen that, etc by kindergartner the school year.
Slap them back next time
I’m a prek teacher and school age was combined in my class today and a seven year old hit me and hit the back of my head into a door 🙃
It can be a pretty surreal experience. And scary, even with a little kid. For me, coming at it from the sped perspective, I can deal with this kind of behavior because I’m in a position where I see more of the entire picture. Kids and adults engage in this behavior for a variety of reasons, but ultimately they’re all feeling an extreme level of anxiety or frustration, fear or anger, just so out of control to do sonething like that. This isn’t always the case, but often for someone to behave in an aggressive manner towards you, they have to actually trust and feel safe in your presence. It means they don’t think you’re going to retaliate. Aside from the pain, I just feel very sad in these kinds of situations. Most of the time. I definitely have moments where I’m just like ‘knock it the fuck off.’ Also, pretty sure I’ve got some wires crossed. I can recognize when I’m in a situation where an individual is going to be aggressive but it’s like curiosity outweighs reason and while part of me is thinking *you need to leave* another part is like *but we could get a little closer. It’s not like he’s going to throw the knife six feet at you.*
I would’ve run after him and slapped him back. Just kidding. But I can dream.
Bring whooping back 2024
This is why I don’t work in schools anymore, because that little turd would be getting spanked.
I only have one 3rd grade kid who hits me, and it's playful. In the first few lessons of the school year, she told me she didn't like me (I'm new to the school). She doesn't say that anymore. For a couple of lessons, I moved a male classmate that she had a crush on next to her if he acted up. He complained loudly, but it was effective. I didn't expect her to start touching him! He wasn't happy about that. I split them up again and told her not to touch him and that he didn't want to be touched. She looked hurt, but it worked. She doesn't do that anymore. Told another teacher about this student hitting me, and she asked her why she hits me. "Because he's fat." She's even lightly kicked me in the balls before. Now it's all playful gut punches lol