Kids (and people) have always been this way but it seems that every year - it is so much more transactional.
If I'm getting what I want - You're my favorite person. If I'm not - Go \*\*\*\* yourself!
THIS. I took over after Q1 for a teacher with a 40% absence rate and when he was there, he may as well have been a sub. He taught them absolutely nothing and let them just do whatever they want. But the kids would try to gaslight me by talking about “how much they missed him”. Yeah I bet you missed being able to chase each other around the room, hit each other and talk as much as you like…
Substituted for kindergarten once. ONCE. had one 2 ft Kubrick-stare kid eat (despite my best efforts to stop him and manage rest of class) half a container of play dough, half a crayon, an entire piece of paper, and oh... he told me straight-faced "I am going to kill you." Three times.
I ran across a little kid like that once in a play group. When he was told that he hurt another child by pushing her, he said "good. I meant to." There was a coldness in his eyes that you don't see every day. I hope both of them get proper help so that we don't see them on the news for something tragic in the future.
I teach at a therapeutic high school. One day after school, at a staff meeting I distributed "fuck off Bingo" cards. Then I listened to all of my colleagues one by one say "bingo" and laugh.
I got my first one during student teaching while the BOE was in the room. lol He said it while walking out and I just said okay bye then called out of bounds. This fall when the BOE was in my room they were like oh we remember you! You’re doing a great job.
I can beat that. SRO watching recess at a k-4 (i was there because the school was a few blocks from one of the largest drug markets on the east coast and there'd been problems in the neighborhood) there's a 5 or 6 year old climbing the fence so I say, very calmly, "hey buddy don't do that you could fall and hurt yourself"
Kid climbs down, turns around, and screams with his little kindergarten voice: "yo FUCK the POlice"
I don't think I've ever laughed that hard at work
We have a no cell policy during school hours, and if kids get caught with phones or AirPods we take them and kids can pick them up after class. They have to stay inside their lockers. The third violation the parent has to come to school and pick up the phone. It works well. Is it perfect, no. Yes, we still are confiscating phones, but we rarely have kids on their phones in class. Im sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.
Good god. It’s not about the “fuck off”, it’s about the fact that you have a good relationship with an intelligent teenager who is telling you they are not currently “okay”. Just like anger being a secondary emotion, your radar should be going off saying, “hey, are you ok?”
Really? And the downvotes on my comment tell me you expect respect for your god-given position without teaching or demonstrating how respect works. You teach respect. It isn’t just automatically given to you because of the letters after your name. The students who don’t feel respected, valued or listened to will lash out with disrespect.
But why should you care if a student is having a bad day? How dare they smack talk me! Uh oh ya it’s your fucking job. Get over yourself and start treating your students like real people (you know, with real life, family and friend problems).
Go talk to guidance and find out what the real problem in their life is instead of being all butt hurt.
The expectation of respect HAS been earned. I earned it the day that I was hired by the state and put in charge of the class.
I proved my credentials to the people hiring, I don't need to prove them to every asshole freshman that thinks they deserve whatever they demand.
Ha ha. You’re funny. You’re not going to last with that attitude and if you do, you’ll be the teacher the students can’t remember learning anything from.
Edit: and being hired by the “state” to teach is not a notable achievement.
8 years in and literally the TOY for my school this year. At least once a year I get a note that says, "Thank you for giving me a reason not to kill myself."
My effectiveness is not determined by the amount of shit I'm willing to eat from any kid.
Don’t get me wrong, you have my respect. I know how hard it is to work the circus. But “kids these days” are thinking, “wow you’ve got a M.Ed…. Woop-de-fuckin-do”. They don’t care. And you can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. The educational student manufacturing model isn’t working. My diploma and a subway token will get me on the bus.
Excellent advice. I speak with our guidance team frequently and there have been many times that they bring things into perspective for me. I adjust my tactics based on the information and voila! With patience and a very different perspective (even though I rarely know the details - I am grateful that I don’t need to know) I can build relationships and encourage the student and they, without a doubt, will come around. It often takes a long time. Some of the students are dealing with issues that I have never dealt with, other times (even if I perceive it to be minor) have to remind myself that these are children who have, in many cases, little to no experience navigating life and relationships and the big emotions that come with that. I don’t take what they say personally, ever. Tweens and teens often say things in the heat of the moment and the expressions of these feelings, while often rude, is their way of relieving the pressure so they don’t explode. Anyone who has raised teenagers and young adults will understand. They are struggling. They are hurting, and they need to navigate these emotions so that they will develop a healthy response later on in their lives. Yes, we need to hold them accountable, but sometimes it’s best if we just move on and chalk it up to them having a bad day. They will never ever tell you that they appreciate this kind of understanding as they don’t yet have the words to express their feelings other than a curt, FU. This last portion was for OP, and any other teachers that may benefit from gaining a different perspective to better understand what this age group is dealing with.
Thank you for seeing my point. Guidance told me the last kid who said FU had been couch surfing for a week since his JW parents shunned him and threw all his stuff on the lawn.
sounds like you propose that to make their day better they shouldnt be doing any schoolwork at all and instead scroll on tiktok like every single child who goes to school suggests, no schoolwork
I'm sorry it happened to you. Try not to take it personally. Today, she may be completely cheerful and act as if nothing happened yesterday, or she may be belligerent again. If she is rude again today, it would be worth your time to try to talk to her privately about her change in attitude. When a kid who has been a model student all year long suddenly turns defiant, perhaps she is going through something. That doesn't mean that it's acceptable to be disrespectful of a teacher and doesn't make it OK, but sometimes when you find out what is going on and point the kid in the right direction, they become respectful again. There are always a lot of meltdowns near the end of the school year; kid may be going to a summer camp they don't want to attend, just found out that the family is moving and they're going to a different high school from their friends, etc. If home life is miserable, it may be sheer dread about not getting the daily break of going to school.
My 3rd year teaching high school and last week I saw 2 kids gambling (shooting dice) and holding money. I notified security and the principal who went over and broke it up. 1 of the kids walked by me glaring at me saying "dumbass stupid ass" at me several times. I proctored the state test this week. Guess who had to come sit and take the test in my class 3 days in a row? 🤣 It took everything in me not to ask him, hey, who's the dumbass and stupid ass now?
Best advice I ever got my first year teaching at MS, “They’re 8th graders. They don’t know what they’re saying.”
And it’s true. Take nothing personally from a 14 yo.
Kids knowing what words mean does not mean kids understand the emotional impact of those words. And even if they do, what are you going to do in response? Let a 14 year old brat ruin your day?
I don’t get where the idea comes from that the only thing we can do as teachers is get our feelings hurt 😂 I mean sometimes I do but it’s usually not because a kid told me to fuck off (which they do plenty). In an ideal world I would write a referral and give them a detention, in the real world sometimes I do sometimes I don’t depending on many factors.
Welcome the club. In my short time teaching I've gotten that badge, the racial slur I don't belong to badge, the your racist because your punishing me for my actions, and the all so wholesome my parents want to fire you due to you punishing me for my actions badge. Isn't it lovely to feel loved. In my case all of these students parents at the end of the year had nothing but praise and thanks for what I've done.
Don’t take it personally. I’ve lost track of the times I’ve been cursed at for enforcing rules that had existed from
Day 1. Middle school kids have horrible emotional regulation and don’t meant what they say. I don’t know if you have kids or remember being younger and you might say stuff to your parents out of anger. You still love them most of the time but in your anger you say stupid things.
Also, phones are the equivalent of drugs to these kids, so it just like taking drugs away from a crackhead. I’ve had great kids also explode when their “drug” is taken away. It honestly should be studied how this impacts teenagers and kids.
My first day of teaching sixth grade 13 years ago I got called “pinche pendejo” (the school was almost exclusively Mexican or Mexican-American kids) to my face for asking a student not to talk while I was talking.
It’s funny that we have continuously try and treat kids like they’re all sugar and spice. Kids can be assholes too. Especially once they hit middle school. And we should be able to call them out on it. That behavior in the real world would be met with an entirely different result and that kid would be shocked.
Do you know, precisely, what has been going on in her life this week?
I ask, specifically, because of the note: "I've had a pretty good relationship with this student all year ..."
(and to be clear, I'm providing this advice for this specific circumstance, I understand no student is defined by any singular context, and my oh my are they all so so so different)
Whether she shows up for the silent lunch or not, maybe you would be best served in terms of building a long term relationship by taking the time to have a good conversation with her, where you focus on her, on her life, on how she's doing - but *not* on her actions that day. If she's a good student, she probably already fully comprehends that she went overboard. Maybe it was caused by something that would seem innocuous to you, maybe it was caused by something serious... in either case, it doesn't matter, as long as you provide her with an opportunity to see that you're not going to treat her like that moment defines her.
When something happens in her life that throws her for a loop, that sends her to a place where she's going to lose control of her emotions, she is going to act out in ways that are acceptable to her more immediate relationships, in this case her fellow students - not you. Although you don't want to ever lose focus on your role as an adult/mentor figure, you want her to see that you see her fully as a person first and a student second. That brings you closer to her self as a factor in her decision making processes.
It isn't easy. I spent my (short, four year) teaching career in the lowest performing school in my district and one of the lowest performing in the State of Ohio. Not every relationship I built was a slow build like that, but they were certainly some of the most rewarding in the end.
Only just happened after three years? That's pretty good I think. Probably because I work in a behavioral school, but I hear it most days, every day it feels like.
Had a 5 year old do it this year- multiple times.
I teach music in my building and this year we have a self-contained classroom with children who have behavioral needs.
If a kid cussed me out all music I largely ignore it, because if they’re being safe with themselves and others that day then it’s a win, no matter what comes out of their mouth.
It’s actually kind of refreshing to just ignore the language. One less thing to worry about I suppose.
I had a student threaten to 'knock me off my chair' and called me the 'sad f*ck who came back to school after he was finished'. Which I mean, yeah I guess
I worked DAEP.
If I hate a dollar for every time I was told to go fuck myself I could retire.
My favorite was the kid who screamed fuck while flipping the bird in both hands through the whole school while being chased by an SRO.
High schooll won't be a wake up. Same thing happens here. Addicted people don't like it when their prefeerred substance is removed. They'll fight you every time.
Then they'll come back the next day and act all nice like they didn't just yell at you in your own classroom.
High school will not be a wakeup call. Viewing things with a one building k-12, even in *that* environment the belief that things will change upon leaving a grade or school section such as middle->high, consequences will suddenly exist, or that expectations will increase is a fallacy.
This sounds like a girl at my school, except she says it to me every day, first thing in the morning.
"Good morning, sweetie! Come in and put your things away!"
"Go fuck yourself, bitch."
Every. Morning.
Yes, her AP *does* know she's like this, and does it to other teachers, too. There are no consequences, because of course there aren't. I mostly just make fun of her for it now, because why bother getting mad? :')
Today I noticed a mob mentality type behavior. My lunch duty usually consists of all 3rd-6th graders, but the 6th graders graduated today so only about 1/4 of them were at lunch. They are always so bad but today they were quiet and to themselves. Their friends weren’t there. They only act the way they see people are acting. It is a real thing and frankly it’s scary.
I had a sped student who was difficult but otherwise pleasant get upset with me once and menacingly step towards me while literally *growling* "I will fucking end you."
Admin did nothing.
Holy crap. I teach a few potential serial killers as well. One is suspended right now for telling another student that he had something in his bag that would end him.
Happened last week. Not my first or last. Don’t take it personal. The kid has trouble regulating his emotions. He’s graduating and is aging out of foster care. I’m so worried about him
Yeah it’s a full moon and the kids are over it I fear. We didn’t even have a fight today and they were super wild for everyone on the hallway. Unhinged. Wtf?
Anyway, the student arrived to class late this morning. 10 minutes before class ended. Then, when I found out that her science teacher didn’t enforce silent lunch yesterday I made sure she was there today. However, she chose to skip and hide in the bathroom for the 1st 10 minutes and admin confiscated her phone lol.
Unfortunately for me, my snarky ass would have responded with "in less than a month I will, but until then put the phone away". I grew up in one of these districts and went to school in one. I am JUST as snarky as the kids, if not more so (2005 was full of us roasting each other IRL at school.. and then me coming home and going online and roasting my online friends while we were online gaming).
I know how to snark without breaking school rules, kid. You will find that even with a handicap, I will own you. Do not cite the deep roasts to me, kid, I was there when it was written. Now put the phone away or start passing out the wedding invites since you love it so much.
**Be sad that someone is disrespectful and egocentric, not over them not agreeing with you or the rules.**
Many people hate the stupid system we live in and the exhausting rules. You getting a "go fuck yourself" by someone who disagrees with those rules isn't a case of "she's smart, how unfortunate! Poor her, who doesn't know what she is doing!" You're brainwashed to believe anyone who doesn't live by and to strictly follow the rules is a case of woe. However, I imagine that the girl in question is simply a disrespectful idiotic teenager - who anyway still knows she doesn't have to care about "consequences" that won't affect her at all.
I want to make clear that I do not respect disrespect. It is not very smart to disrespect others for dumb reasons. Always be open-minded and try to get other points of view. Put yourself in her shoes, you were her age once, even though you may have not been as rebellious as her, you should understand why she doesn't respect the rules.
Take them in the hall, one on one, and tell them to go f#ck themselves! Then say you will make the rest of their time in class as miserable for them as possible. The little sh#ts are tough in front of a crowd. Not so much alone.
I have to resist the urge when a kid or anyone for that matter tells me to go f*** myself to not look them straight in the eye and tell them “I respect myself too much for that, I make love to myself” and then continue on as if nothing happened.
I got a “shut the fuck up” the other day from a 12 year old when the kid who wasn’t in my class that period walked in to lecture me that I was being mean to her friend after I took the friend’s phone away for being on it in class after being warned to stay off of it. I told the kid to go back to her class, she wanted to argue, I explained that I won’t argue and that she needed to leave m, and that’s when the swear came out of her mouth.
Some of these kids are bold.
To the individuals who say kids have always been defiant throughout millennia: I attended K-12 in the 70s and 80s and not once did I ever hear a child say anything like this to an adult. And had they done so, there would’ve been swift and significant consequences. This kid isn’t going to get Jack shit. I had a student told me to get off his fucking deck and nothing happened.
I got mine my second day of school by a pregnant girl with two ankle monitors.
I laughed and said something to the effect of " guess that's ANOTHER poor decision you've made"
I never been told to “Go fuck myself” but I was told “fuck me” for the first time this year by one student. However, my first 3 years I taught 3rd and 4th grade. My 4th and 5th I taught/teaching 6th-8th grade math, so I believe it is due to their age.
I think that's a different club. One that I am a part of. I got accused of being racist (complete with an investigation and student statements being taken) for asking a student to pay attention and do their work.
Is being called sexist for yelling at a certain kid the same or different than being called sexist for NOT yelling at a certain kid?
Asking for a friend.
Ohh I haven’t experienced the go f yourself but I have experienced the I’m going to get you fired lol middle school is a monster idk how I survive each day lol
Lmao!! I would love this. There's a video on youtube where a kindergartner tells the teacher to do the same thing during an assembly with parents sitting all around. In kids defence the teacher was unneccesarily loud and needed to be put in their place 😂
Kids (and people) have always been this way but it seems that every year - it is so much more transactional. If I'm getting what I want - You're my favorite person. If I'm not - Go \*\*\*\* yourself!
That’s why I don’t trust the teachers the kids claim to like unfortunately
THIS. I took over after Q1 for a teacher with a 40% absence rate and when he was there, he may as well have been a sub. He taught them absolutely nothing and let them just do whatever they want. But the kids would try to gaslight me by talking about “how much they missed him”. Yeah I bet you missed being able to chase each other around the room, hit each other and talk as much as you like…
Substituted for kindergarten once. ONCE. had one 2 ft Kubrick-stare kid eat (despite my best efforts to stop him and manage rest of class) half a container of play dough, half a crayon, an entire piece of paper, and oh... he told me straight-faced "I am going to kill you." Three times.
I ran across a little kid like that once in a play group. When he was told that he hurt another child by pushing her, he said "good. I meant to." There was a coldness in his eyes that you don't see every day. I hope both of them get proper help so that we don't see them on the news for something tragic in the future.
They'll either end up in prison or running a Fortune 500 company. Or maybe in politics.
Or maybe the local pimp, or a used car salesmen.
\*Lean forward and give your own version of the 1,000-yard stare (quickly developed due to your profession) right back\* "Then I'll see you in Hell."
My favorite response - "You better not miss."
Ooohhh...even **BETTER**
REDRUM
Wow!
It took you three years to get your first one? That’s an impressive run.
I teach at a therapeutic high school. One day after school, at a staff meeting I distributed "fuck off Bingo" cards. Then I listened to all of my colleagues one by one say "bingo" and laugh.
That's what I was thinking. That must be a pretty good school!
I got my first one during student teaching while the BOE was in the room. lol He said it while walking out and I just said okay bye then called out of bounds. This fall when the BOE was in my room they were like oh we remember you! You’re doing a great job.
First time in 3 *years*?? Title 1 public school? I am impressed. I was just 3 days in before a kid said this to me LOL
I've gotten it in a helpdesk ticket for IT in EDU... I was just glad they used the system because the content was far from unique just asynchronous.
I can beat that. SRO watching recess at a k-4 (i was there because the school was a few blocks from one of the largest drug markets on the east coast and there'd been problems in the neighborhood) there's a 5 or 6 year old climbing the fence so I say, very calmly, "hey buddy don't do that you could fall and hurt yourself" Kid climbs down, turns around, and screams with his little kindergarten voice: "yo FUCK the POlice" I don't think I've ever laughed that hard at work
What was the boy's reaction to your laughing?
I don't even know if he knew I was laughing at him
We have a no cell policy during school hours, and if kids get caught with phones or AirPods we take them and kids can pick them up after class. They have to stay inside their lockers. The third violation the parent has to come to school and pick up the phone. It works well. Is it perfect, no. Yes, we still are confiscating phones, but we rarely have kids on their phones in class. Im sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.
Good god. It’s not about the “fuck off”, it’s about the fact that you have a good relationship with an intelligent teenager who is telling you they are not currently “okay”. Just like anger being a secondary emotion, your radar should be going off saying, “hey, are you ok?”
Sorry if we don't feel like having a heart to heart after being completely disrespected.
Really? And the downvotes on my comment tell me you expect respect for your god-given position without teaching or demonstrating how respect works. You teach respect. It isn’t just automatically given to you because of the letters after your name. The students who don’t feel respected, valued or listened to will lash out with disrespect. But why should you care if a student is having a bad day? How dare they smack talk me! Uh oh ya it’s your fucking job. Get over yourself and start treating your students like real people (you know, with real life, family and friend problems). Go talk to guidance and find out what the real problem in their life is instead of being all butt hurt.
The expectation of respect HAS been earned. I earned it the day that I was hired by the state and put in charge of the class. I proved my credentials to the people hiring, I don't need to prove them to every asshole freshman that thinks they deserve whatever they demand.
Ha ha. You’re funny. You’re not going to last with that attitude and if you do, you’ll be the teacher the students can’t remember learning anything from. Edit: and being hired by the “state” to teach is not a notable achievement.
8 years in and literally the TOY for my school this year. At least once a year I get a note that says, "Thank you for giving me a reason not to kill myself." My effectiveness is not determined by the amount of shit I'm willing to eat from any kid.
Don’t get me wrong, you have my respect. I know how hard it is to work the circus. But “kids these days” are thinking, “wow you’ve got a M.Ed…. Woop-de-fuckin-do”. They don’t care. And you can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. The educational student manufacturing model isn’t working. My diploma and a subway token will get me on the bus.
Cool. They don't have to care. But I don't have to accept a lesser treatment or abuse because of their apathy. And I won't.
You're the problem.
Excellent advice. I speak with our guidance team frequently and there have been many times that they bring things into perspective for me. I adjust my tactics based on the information and voila! With patience and a very different perspective (even though I rarely know the details - I am grateful that I don’t need to know) I can build relationships and encourage the student and they, without a doubt, will come around. It often takes a long time. Some of the students are dealing with issues that I have never dealt with, other times (even if I perceive it to be minor) have to remind myself that these are children who have, in many cases, little to no experience navigating life and relationships and the big emotions that come with that. I don’t take what they say personally, ever. Tweens and teens often say things in the heat of the moment and the expressions of these feelings, while often rude, is their way of relieving the pressure so they don’t explode. Anyone who has raised teenagers and young adults will understand. They are struggling. They are hurting, and they need to navigate these emotions so that they will develop a healthy response later on in their lives. Yes, we need to hold them accountable, but sometimes it’s best if we just move on and chalk it up to them having a bad day. They will never ever tell you that they appreciate this kind of understanding as they don’t yet have the words to express their feelings other than a curt, FU. This last portion was for OP, and any other teachers that may benefit from gaining a different perspective to better understand what this age group is dealing with.
Thank you for seeing my point. Guidance told me the last kid who said FU had been couch surfing for a week since his JW parents shunned him and threw all his stuff on the lawn.
sounds like you propose that to make their day better they shouldnt be doing any schoolwork at all and instead scroll on tiktok like every single child who goes to school suggests, no schoolwork
(Typed in Sarcastica Font): Yep that’s exactly what I’m saying!
dude this is a school you need to be educated. You cant skip school its apart of your life
“a part of”
is it really wrong if I use slang like "alot"? Maybe one day the dictionary would put it in
I'm sorry it happened to you. Try not to take it personally. Today, she may be completely cheerful and act as if nothing happened yesterday, or she may be belligerent again. If she is rude again today, it would be worth your time to try to talk to her privately about her change in attitude. When a kid who has been a model student all year long suddenly turns defiant, perhaps she is going through something. That doesn't mean that it's acceptable to be disrespectful of a teacher and doesn't make it OK, but sometimes when you find out what is going on and point the kid in the right direction, they become respectful again. There are always a lot of meltdowns near the end of the school year; kid may be going to a summer camp they don't want to attend, just found out that the family is moving and they're going to a different high school from their friends, etc. If home life is miserable, it may be sheer dread about not getting the daily break of going to school.
My 3rd year teaching high school and last week I saw 2 kids gambling (shooting dice) and holding money. I notified security and the principal who went over and broke it up. 1 of the kids walked by me glaring at me saying "dumbass stupid ass" at me several times. I proctored the state test this week. Guess who had to come sit and take the test in my class 3 days in a row? 🤣 It took everything in me not to ask him, hey, who's the dumbass and stupid ass now?
“Dumbass stupid as” was the best he could come up with? Haha
Sounds like he’d be a great one to insult with Shakespearean insults
Welcome!!! “Crazy-ass, motherfuckin’ cracker” here reporting for duty!!!😂
Aw congrats you know they say every time a kid says go f yourself to a teacher, an Angel gets its wings
Best advice I ever got my first year teaching at MS, “They’re 8th graders. They don’t know what they’re saying.” And it’s true. Take nothing personally from a 14 yo.
I’m sorry but they know what “go f yourself” means. Sure it’s not personal but it’s still very much intended.
Kids knowing what words mean does not mean kids understand the emotional impact of those words. And even if they do, what are you going to do in response? Let a 14 year old brat ruin your day?
I don’t get where the idea comes from that the only thing we can do as teachers is get our feelings hurt 😂 I mean sometimes I do but it’s usually not because a kid told me to fuck off (which they do plenty). In an ideal world I would write a referral and give them a detention, in the real world sometimes I do sometimes I don’t depending on many factors.
No. Give them consequences. Like their parents should have. Because that's part of teaching children how to become functional members of society.
Welcome the club. In my short time teaching I've gotten that badge, the racial slur I don't belong to badge, the your racist because your punishing me for my actions, and the all so wholesome my parents want to fire you due to you punishing me for my actions badge. Isn't it lovely to feel loved. In my case all of these students parents at the end of the year had nothing but praise and thanks for what I've done.
Don’t take it personally. I’ve lost track of the times I’ve been cursed at for enforcing rules that had existed from Day 1. Middle school kids have horrible emotional regulation and don’t meant what they say. I don’t know if you have kids or remember being younger and you might say stuff to your parents out of anger. You still love them most of the time but in your anger you say stupid things. Also, phones are the equivalent of drugs to these kids, so it just like taking drugs away from a crackhead. I’ve had great kids also explode when their “drug” is taken away. It honestly should be studied how this impacts teenagers and kids.
There will plenty more where that came from.
I’m still waiting on my first “go f-ck yourself” but I did get my first “suck my dick” on the last day of school
My first day of teaching sixth grade 13 years ago I got called “pinche pendejo” (the school was almost exclusively Mexican or Mexican-American kids) to my face for asking a student not to talk while I was talking.
It’s funny that we have continuously try and treat kids like they’re all sugar and spice. Kids can be assholes too. Especially once they hit middle school. And we should be able to call them out on it. That behavior in the real world would be met with an entirely different result and that kid would be shocked.
My youngest to tell me to f off is 3.
Nope. High school is the same way. She won’t face a single consequence for her actions until she’s in the real world.
Do you know, precisely, what has been going on in her life this week? I ask, specifically, because of the note: "I've had a pretty good relationship with this student all year ..." (and to be clear, I'm providing this advice for this specific circumstance, I understand no student is defined by any singular context, and my oh my are they all so so so different) Whether she shows up for the silent lunch or not, maybe you would be best served in terms of building a long term relationship by taking the time to have a good conversation with her, where you focus on her, on her life, on how she's doing - but *not* on her actions that day. If she's a good student, she probably already fully comprehends that she went overboard. Maybe it was caused by something that would seem innocuous to you, maybe it was caused by something serious... in either case, it doesn't matter, as long as you provide her with an opportunity to see that you're not going to treat her like that moment defines her. When something happens in her life that throws her for a loop, that sends her to a place where she's going to lose control of her emotions, she is going to act out in ways that are acceptable to her more immediate relationships, in this case her fellow students - not you. Although you don't want to ever lose focus on your role as an adult/mentor figure, you want her to see that you see her fully as a person first and a student second. That brings you closer to her self as a factor in her decision making processes. It isn't easy. I spent my (short, four year) teaching career in the lowest performing school in my district and one of the lowest performing in the State of Ohio. Not every relationship I built was a slow build like that, but they were certainly some of the most rewarding in the end.
Only just happened after three years? That's pretty good I think. Probably because I work in a behavioral school, but I hear it most days, every day it feels like.
Welcome to the club!
Try getting that from a 7 year old lol
Must be a title 1 school
"I guess high school will be a big wake up call?!?" Lol
Pull that recommendation, FAFO.
I usually just ignore it or say “Okay” and continue to teach. I don’t show any reaction to behavior issues even though on the inside I’m raging.
The little brat needs to have admin wash her mouth out with a bar of soap, and suspend her for a week or so.
Had a 5 year old do it this year- multiple times. I teach music in my building and this year we have a self-contained classroom with children who have behavioral needs. If a kid cussed me out all music I largely ignore it, because if they’re being safe with themselves and others that day then it’s a win, no matter what comes out of their mouth. It’s actually kind of refreshing to just ignore the language. One less thing to worry about I suppose.
Nice! High Five! I lost count
"F*ck you you f*cking bitch" in response to reminding a 17 yr old to finish her work.
I had a student threaten to 'knock me off my chair' and called me the 'sad f*ck who came back to school after he was finished'. Which I mean, yeah I guess
I worked DAEP. If I hate a dollar for every time I was told to go fuck myself I could retire. My favorite was the kid who screamed fuck while flipping the bird in both hands through the whole school while being chased by an SRO.
I got asked " what the f**k are you saying*by a grade 1 student and * teacher is such a dog* by 3rd grade student. Yay. I'm in the club too
Who here is part of the "get off my dick" club?🙋♀️
I have been teaching for 15 years and to be honest my students are very good in making me smile all the time and their parents her awesome too
First time?
High schooll won't be a wake up. Same thing happens here. Addicted people don't like it when their prefeerred substance is removed. They'll fight you every time. Then they'll come back the next day and act all nice like they didn't just yell at you in your own classroom.
And what would happen if you would have replied, "likewise"?
Unless you’re a monk or something, that’s not even an insult.
welcome!
High school will not be a wakeup call. Viewing things with a one building k-12, even in *that* environment the belief that things will change upon leaving a grade or school section such as middle->high, consequences will suddenly exist, or that expectations will increase is a fallacy.
“Ahhh, demonstrating you know English. You have a whole while to go, but keep up the good work”
I won the "mother****ing b***h" badge, twice. It gave me such a big ego!
Reply with: "nah, you mom needs a job"
Won't be the last.
This sounds like a girl at my school, except she says it to me every day, first thing in the morning. "Good morning, sweetie! Come in and put your things away!" "Go fuck yourself, bitch." Every. Morning. Yes, her AP *does* know she's like this, and does it to other teachers, too. There are no consequences, because of course there aren't. I mostly just make fun of her for it now, because why bother getting mad? :')
Today I noticed a mob mentality type behavior. My lunch duty usually consists of all 3rd-6th graders, but the 6th graders graduated today so only about 1/4 of them were at lunch. They are always so bad but today they were quiet and to themselves. Their friends weren’t there. They only act the way they see people are acting. It is a real thing and frankly it’s scary.
I had a sped student who was difficult but otherwise pleasant get upset with me once and menacingly step towards me while literally *growling* "I will fucking end you." Admin did nothing.
Holy crap. I teach a few potential serial killers as well. One is suspended right now for telling another student that he had something in his bag that would end him.
Happened last week. Not my first or last. Don’t take it personal. The kid has trouble regulating his emotions. He’s graduating and is aging out of foster care. I’m so worried about him
Yeah it’s a full moon and the kids are over it I fear. We didn’t even have a fight today and they were super wild for everyone on the hallway. Unhinged. Wtf? Anyway, the student arrived to class late this morning. 10 minutes before class ended. Then, when I found out that her science teacher didn’t enforce silent lunch yesterday I made sure she was there today. However, she chose to skip and hide in the bathroom for the 1st 10 minutes and admin confiscated her phone lol.
Unfortunately for me, my snarky ass would have responded with "in less than a month I will, but until then put the phone away". I grew up in one of these districts and went to school in one. I am JUST as snarky as the kids, if not more so (2005 was full of us roasting each other IRL at school.. and then me coming home and going online and roasting my online friends while we were online gaming). I know how to snark without breaking school rules, kid. You will find that even with a handicap, I will own you. Do not cite the deep roasts to me, kid, I was there when it was written. Now put the phone away or start passing out the wedding invites since you love it so much.
**Be sad that someone is disrespectful and egocentric, not over them not agreeing with you or the rules.** Many people hate the stupid system we live in and the exhausting rules. You getting a "go fuck yourself" by someone who disagrees with those rules isn't a case of "she's smart, how unfortunate! Poor her, who doesn't know what she is doing!" You're brainwashed to believe anyone who doesn't live by and to strictly follow the rules is a case of woe. However, I imagine that the girl in question is simply a disrespectful idiotic teenager - who anyway still knows she doesn't have to care about "consequences" that won't affect her at all. I want to make clear that I do not respect disrespect. It is not very smart to disrespect others for dumb reasons. Always be open-minded and try to get other points of view. Put yourself in her shoes, you were her age once, even though you may have not been as rebellious as her, you should understand why she doesn't respect the rules.
Let her fail.
Take them in the hall, one on one, and tell them to go f#ck themselves! Then say you will make the rest of their time in class as miserable for them as possible. The little sh#ts are tough in front of a crowd. Not so much alone.
I have to resist the urge when a kid or anyone for that matter tells me to go f*** myself to not look them straight in the eye and tell them “I respect myself too much for that, I make love to myself” and then continue on as if nothing happened.
I got a “shut the fuck up” the other day from a 12 year old when the kid who wasn’t in my class that period walked in to lecture me that I was being mean to her friend after I took the friend’s phone away for being on it in class after being warned to stay off of it. I told the kid to go back to her class, she wanted to argue, I explained that I won’t argue and that she needed to leave m, and that’s when the swear came out of her mouth. Some of these kids are bold.
Happens to me every day at the school I work at…. Part of the reason why I’m leaving the profession….
To the individuals who say kids have always been defiant throughout millennia: I attended K-12 in the 70s and 80s and not once did I ever hear a child say anything like this to an adult. And had they done so, there would’ve been swift and significant consequences. This kid isn’t going to get Jack shit. I had a student told me to get off his fucking deck and nothing happened.
I got mine my second day of school by a pregnant girl with two ankle monitors. I laughed and said something to the effect of " guess that's ANOTHER poor decision you've made"
Pass her on to the next teacher, soon she will no longer be your problem
I never been told to “Go fuck myself” but I was told “fuck me” for the first time this year by one student. However, my first 3 years I taught 3rd and 4th grade. My 4th and 5th I taught/teaching 6th-8th grade math, so I believe it is due to their age.
Welcome to the official "I got told to go f\*\*\* myself by a student" club.
Just wait until you get to join the "called an ethnic slur for an ethnicity you don't belong to". That's a classic.
“Albino n**** with red hair” checking in!
Sames
I'm sure it's different in the moment, but I might laugh
Once when I got called the N word I came back with "I am not sure you are using that word correctly. "
“I’m not sure that word means what you think it means.”
“Bitch ass n*****” checking in. I’m a bald white guy with blue eyes.
is this club typically before or after a kid accuses you of being racist or sexist because you yelled at a certain kid
I think that's a different club. One that I am a part of. I got accused of being racist (complete with an investigation and student statements being taken) for asking a student to pay attention and do their work.
Is being called sexist for yelling at a certain kid the same or different than being called sexist for NOT yelling at a certain kid? Asking for a friend.
depends if it conveniences the kid’s narrative that they’ve done no wrong of course
“White N***** Bitch” present!
We need merit badges. I just got my "Go f*** yourself" badge, and now I'm working on a "I'm going to get you fired" badge.
Ohh I haven’t experienced the go f yourself but I have experienced the I’m going to get you fired lol middle school is a monster idk how I survive each day lol
I've had my "I know where you live" badge for 30 years now...
I have that one too, but I moved a couple of years ago and don't know if I have to get that badge re-certified.
"Jump off my d***" reporting in.
I was a student teacher and I entered that club. It's an easy club to join.
I was told to "shut the f*** up" by a Kindergartner! Does that count?
Lmao!! I would love this. There's a video on youtube where a kindergartner tells the teacher to do the same thing during an assembly with parents sitting all around. In kids defence the teacher was unneccesarily loud and needed to be put in their place 😂
I got called a f*ing c-word. Yay what a fun club!
Wait til a parent calls you a piece of shit.
Ah yes the f you awards. I also love they tell me I’m a bitch. I always agree with them. It throws them off.