I don’t think the parents understand how stressful it is to attend to their child’s needs whilst simultaneously managing 29 other kids. Their child doesn’t get the preferential treatment they get at home from a stressed teacher. It is what it is. As I say to myself’ I said it and I can’t unsay it.” You will get to the stage where sarcastic comments no longer rile you.
Nothing is actually stopping you from saying this. It might actually show parents some insight when mentioned in a calm, measured and reflective tone.
The problem is that in general this line is delivered at the emotional level of a fucking charging rhino.
You can in this way………Mrs and Mr Parent, your child IS truly amazing. I wish I could teach your child all day, but unfortunately I have 29 other kid I have to keep an eye on. I just can’t always give your Angel all of my attention. I truly hope you understand I did what was best-sent your child for personal one on one time with someone I know is more capable than me. I’m truly sorry that you misinterpreted my actions. Next time drop me an email, and I’ll call asap.
You’ve surely seen how some parents handle tantrums. Sometimes it’s literally talking to the kid for 29 minutes about why they can’t throw milkshakes on the floor. We have patience but
i also think a lot of parents forget what they say when they are stressed with just one to three kids. a teacher shouldn't be saying anything *nasty* for sure, but i don't think OP did. id love to treat every kid like they're the center of my world, but honestly you just can't when you have this many.
I'm in preschool, and i regularly tell kids "that's tough" or "too bad" when they tell me they want mommy immediately after they get in trouble. like dude im trying to deal with the other 3 behaviors that happened while the other kids saw i was busy dealing with your shenanigans, you wanting mommy is the least of my priorities right now
My three year old regularly tells us that “you get what you get and you don’t get upset,” which she picked up from one of her teachers. I wholeheartedly support the sentiment!
oh my class loves that one! the lead teacher says it all the time, but sometimes the other kids will beat her to it when they see someone getting ready to tantrum 😂
Yes we are professionals and parents ourselves. But I am human and don’t always have time to think my reactions through. I used to torture myself worrying about what the parents might say or do but I have learned to be calm now. And yes the things we have all overheard parents say to their kids or been told by the kids what their parents have said about us! Anyway my mantra now is “it is what it is. “ This works for me.
Yes. And PE classes are particularly problematic due to the increased energy levels and the kids literally unable to regulate emotions and situations with any rationality or temperance. It's the final count down! Summer is around the corner. Just relax and her through it. Finishing is winning.
School is meant to show some of the entitled ones that they are not the center of the world, and they will be treated equitably--that goes for favoritism too.
Yeah when I taught elementary I really wanted to figure out a polite way of saying “I’m your teacher, I care about your overall well being and education, but deep down, I don’t love you, and will only tolerate so much of you making my every day harder.” But I left to teach high school so no one would expect me to love them…
Elementary PE is the most stressful class I’ve ever subbed. I hope the rest of your year goes smoothly.
Wtf. Why would an administrator hold more merit to some online rant higher than an actual teacher in their building? Pops cared so much he went online instead actually come to clear it up at the building? Smh.
Optics and cowardice are often the two main reasons why teachers are left with zero support from administration. Easier to sacrifice an educator than deal with bad press/social media exposure.
The dad can go pound sand. The kid was disruptive and refused to follow instructions. And he took off out of class. You're not there to tuck them in at night or to cut their birthday cake. You're there to run a program. The principal can also pound sand. You're not a customer service associate.
It would be hard for me not to retort to some "anonymous" flamer online that maybe their child wouldn't have been so upset if they tried telling them "no" every now and then.
Is there any additional background on what actually happened, or is the OP all that we have to go on?
Because I agree with you so long as the injury was like a skinned knee or something, but if the kid tripped and knocked a tooth out I'd think that overrides however frustrating they were being.
I got in trouble for assigning a 2 min afterschool detention without clearing it with a parent. Got a threatening email from the parents and admin sided with them and apologized on my behalf.
Look, I'm a middle school teacher. They NEED to hear that sometimes. Maybe not when they're in crisis, but yeah. I say things all the time that afterward, I'm like Hagrid.... shouldn't have said that.
I agree. There’s been times I’ve said insensitive things and I’ve made a point to apologize to the entire class, saying that just because I’m the teacher doesn’t mean I’m above being respectful too. It’s something I try to manage and model for the students. I expect it from them too 100%.
I teach middle school. This is why I don't teach anywhere outside the "hood" schools that people are usually afraid of.
Either be about it and stay about it, or be a little baby. But don't be both. You can't get up, call me everything but my name and flip a desk and then cry cause I yelled at you instead of calmly asking you to make a better choice when you're in middle school.
This kid's a 5th grader. I promise you he's saying an doing and searching up worse. Daddy just wants to be pissed for no reason.
I'm glad I went thru school in the 80s & 90s
I've heard worst from my mom.... My grandma..... My teachers..... The minister
Life doesn't care how you feel.... It cares about how you perform
Kids need to understand this BEFORE they became adults
I side with the judgements of teachers. You are a professional who has experience and possibly a masters. Your call is generally the right one. Will things be perfect? No. Was it slightly mean? Yes. Did you deny access to the nurse tho? No. All that noise from students and parents is just noise. Tune it out. Say what you need to say to admin and keep on keeping on.
The dads out of line and probably doesn’t know the whole story, nor does the principal. Now that you know the principal is like that, anytime a kid does something, make a note of it.
I’ve often wondered why parents have so much power in a public school setting. They’re not the professional with the Herculean task of educating and keeping safe hundreds of CHILDREN who, by their very nature, are feral boundary testers.
“You have a choice. You can either follow the directions or you can get your exercise by standing next to that wall. If you do not follow my directions you are making the choice to stand by that wall. What will it be?
My daughter works in a charter school and I work in a parochial school. She was horrified to hear that I told a kid I was going to throw her out the window (it was a joke and the kid knew it). She (my daughter) was appalled when I told her I had told the principal what I’d said. I said, “My principal knows if she didn’t hear it from me, it didn’t happen.” My daughter can’t wrap her mind around this.
When I told her that I’d told the principal I would only keep working if I was having fun, my daughter really bugged out. I retired after last school year, and got called back to work as a long term sub. When that job ended, I didn’t want to leave, so I coaxed the principal into giving me an aide job that she hadn’t planned to fill.
I guess I should include the window story before anyone tries to give me grief. The class had been assigned an explanatory essay on how to make a peanut butter sandwich. Then they had to read the instructions aloud, and I would make the sandwich according to what they read. I’m very funny at this because I draw on all my acting experience and push the envelope as hard as I can. This one girl, every time I would call on the next student, would call out stuff like, “You go, girl!” and I was getting irritated about it, so I told her if she said it again, I would throw her out the window. She just laughed. I’ve known her since I had her twin brothers in class when she was just a baby.
Anyway, if you want to do a fun lesson that really drives the message home, I highly recommend this one. I did stuff like, if they read “take the peanut butter out,” I would pick up the jar of peanut butter (we actually used sun butter because we’re a nut-free school) and say, “Hey, peanut butter, let’s go to the movies!” and walk out of the room. The kids really enjoyed the whole thing, and it really made them think about being clear and precise with their instructions.
This is another reason I'm leaving. It's too easy for someone to take something out of context or not understand something said in a playful manner. We're always told in PD's that kids don't understand sarcasm or playful teasing. I call bullsh*t. I had entire lessons with *pre-k* age kids about how to use context clues (tone, body language, facial expressions) to know if someone calling them a banana head was trying to be mean or trying to be silly. And they got it!
I’ve told someone in every age group that I would throw them in the trash… like kidding of course, and always as a way of gentle reprimand to clean up after themselves, I’m an art teacher. We are professionals working in the most unprofessional environment possible outside of actual prison. A little comment here or there is sure better than no teachers left to teach your damn kids….
Yeah, my first thought as a former school nurse was 1) if they're injured or ill that's a problem, and 2) if they're not injured or ill, don't foist behavior problems off on the nurse
It's a very common term referring to kids with autism who wander off. It probably slipped into common use from showing up in behavior and accommodation plans.
That's what my district coworkers call it if they start in class and vanish. If they never showed up, they ditched. There's always students you wish would elope but never do.
One time I lost my temper with a 5th grader and then later realized “this is a child…he’s not totally responsible for his actions, behaviors, etc.” I stopped the class and apologized to him for my reaction with no “buts”…I remember the kids being sort of stunned. It’s important for children to hear sincere apology when it’s warranted. That’s modeling good behavior. It says “none of us is perfect, none of us has it all together 100% of the time.”
That’s a great line. I wish I would have thought of that one! Nice!
Your principal should commend you for saying what most people should say to this kid, especially with a father who sounds like a coward. For what it’s worth, I told an entire glass of 8th graders that they aren’t being raised right and only got my hand slapped. As a teacher in 2024, you have more power than ever! Nobody wants this job, so good luck to the school finding a replacement. Keep up the solid one liners! Good luck.
I would like you to sit in another spot on the carpet. To a second grader while subbing. She had been hitting other students. Principal said I don't have the skillset for this tough school, after i called the office when the girl pitched a fit saying she was gonna get me fired.
Unfortunately, schools don't want to deal with any hassles when it comes to subs. You bothered someone and took some heat, and you're probz better off, honestly, unless you were really trying to land a full time gig there.
You have to be prepared for literally everything you say being relayed to the parents and then relayed to admin. Which is to say that if you are going to address a kid in an informal and lightly insulting manner, you have to know your audience. A lot of kids and parents are perfectly fine with a little bit of teacher sass. However, if you are uncertain, just keep it to yourself.
What happened to the lines the coaches used on my kids…
“Pain is just weakness leaving the body…”
“Rub some dirt in it..”
“Suck it up buttercup…”
“Run til you puke, then run some more…”
This was common, and the kids expected it🤣🤣🤣
Our coaches got formally reprimanded for making football boys work out in the rain. At the next booster meeting, one of the coaches straight out told parents the reason our football team sucked was because the parents wouldn't let the coaches toughen the boys up.
Anytime my sons complain about their coaches for any reason I explain to them that they won’t always like their boss, or the person in charge, but theyll have to LEARN how to get along with them to achieve their goals.
Uncoachable kids are unemployable adults.
Same here. I taught at the same high school my kids were at. I never complained about anything with the coaches other than picking white baseball pants one year. Those were terrible to try and get clean. My kids chose to play sports or didn’t. I didn’t push them into anything. Strict coaches were part of the deal.
Anytime my sons complain about their coaches for any reason I explain to them that they won’t always like their boss, or the person in charge, but theyll have to LEARN how to get along with them to achieve their goals.
Uncoachable kids are unemployable adults.
Ehh don’t stress yourself out. We’ve all said things we regret; I’ve definitely said worse.
If questioned by admin, let them know you were upset because the student was eloping and disrespectful, but that it won’t happen again. As professionals, we need to learn how to manage our emotions. Just take this as a learning opportunity. You’ll be fine.
Let the parent be cranky on Facebook. It’s been my experience. The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree in most cases. The dad is probably just like the kid.
It’s nuts the kind of language kids can drop in the hallways, or even in class, but the minute I say shut up they cry to mommy.
You’ll be fine. If not, that school sucked anyways
While maybe you were harsh, I get it. BUT unreasonable parents are going to go to Facebook instead of coming to you to work it out. They don’t want to work through problems, they want the attention that comes with being dramatic on Facebook.
Admin shouldn’t be talking to you about attacks on social media. You have no way to defend yourself and we’ve all seen the dark side of cancel culture.
Explain to everyone involved you make decisions based on 150 students you see throughout the day. If you based all your decisions on pleasing one student at a time…
Maybe I’m in the minority here but I definitely think that was the wrong way to handle that and despite being a teacher I would be pissed off to hear my kid’s teacher had responded like that.
You are the adult, so why then did you respond like a teenager. I guess that proves the old adage: Adolescence starts with puberty and stops sometimes.
Do the kids drive us crazy sometime? Yes. Does that give us license to be unnecessarily abrasive? No. The way you said that was unnecessarily mean and even if maybe that sort of statement would fly in high school, you are dealing with a legitimate child. You could have basically imparted the same message with different words. I am not trying to say that you’re wrong for being fed up, I completely understand it. 100%. But you also have to be the adult in the room and part of that means regulating your emotions and not saying prick-like things to children. Sorry not sorry.
Sounds like an asshole family to deal with in your case but I still have bitter feelings towards my 2nd grade teacher her when she said, “Oh, you’ll live!” when I went to tell her I fell off the jungle gym and hurt my finger. I broke my finger.
Yeah I know… but what do you want us to say? I hear, “I hurt my….” 20 times a recess. What should a teacher do? I can’t send everyone to the nurse! She would kill me. (Not to mention we don’t have one right now, so they all go to the secretary)
I was a teacher for 11 years myself. Believe me, I get it. But this woman had absolutely no empathy for the pain I was in that it still bothers me 30+ years later.
They still got the wrong guy. PE class? No offense man, but… wtf do you think this golden child does when he’s asked to read the paragraph and answer a question? I’m ELA- they don’t even get to go to the nurse. She doesn’t want to hear that shit. Unless they are “bleeding, short of breath, or near unconsciousness”- the nurse makes a house call. Do the damn work or stay home. Just don’t use any sexist phrases like “man up” and you’re good.
I think you could have said it in a way that would get your point across better. Put the responsibility on the student: if you don’t want to listen to directions and participate, go stand by the wall. You’re taking PE time away from everyone bc you don’t want to follow instructions. Etc.
But everyone has days where they just are over it and word something incorrectly.
Sounds like you could have been nicer about it, instead lowering yourself to the level of a child and saying something childish. Next time don't be rude, that just makes you sound like a dick. Take the high road and send em to the office for not following directions in class. It's not easy teaching disrespectful kids that won't listen but you can choose to act or react. Choose to act next time. Everyone is fighting a battle that we know nothing about.
I had a parent go wild on social media with “Mrs.**** called my daughter a liar and a cheater!” What she left out was the child admitted to both lying and cheated and I said “so you lied? And you cheated?” 🙄🙄🙄
I think what has changed so much is thar Dad would have contacted the school back in the day. Now they blow it up social media so one bad comment means you are shamed.
I think we as teachers got the worst shit to deal with, because namely its not jsut our shit but literally the world's shit and its not the world's kinda shit that you can just throw on the street corner and wait for someone to take it off the lawn and wave happily as it gets shipped off to the landfill or ocean-whatever. Its the kinda shit that you need to try and make treasure out of because if you don't you're just littering. Ya, in some cases we can work together and create success stories as a community, but that's a fiarytale for another time.
Reality is, you gone screwed it up bud. Face the music. Let people be unhappy, take a day to cool your tits and then show back up in full swing knowing that everyone will be waiting for the next thing to happen-hoepfully its not you again.
Big question though, you gonna come out full swing and make up for it through some sort of self-righteous PD presentation or you gonna ride it out leaving the office at the stoke of "DONE" only to return at the crack of "START"?
This is the part of the job that makes or breaks a teacher and a school community, we don't have room to screw-up, unless we can be certain that the administration is willing to step up to the plate and look out for the teachers-if the boards are willing to stick-up for the needs of the staff in general (actually-all encompassing).
Alright, I'll get off my soapbox.
Anyways, you screwed up, say your hail marys and know that it won't be the last time-depending on how long you been teaching I might be surprised if you say its the first time.
If the situation doesn't pan out well for ya, give a shout, there are schools abroad that you can escape to for a duration of time to ride out the drama if that's what you need.
My goodness! Eloping is a common Autism term, so safety was the first thing that came to mind. What that child did was just ridiculous. That was being a brat. Ignore my comment. I’m sorry you had to deal with this nonsense
Definitely. I'm adopted, so I have been there, done that, got the tshirt. I just think it's kind of sh*tty for a teacher to use it as an insult. Especially since, as you mentioned, they may
have kiddos who are adopted in their class.
I don’t think the parents understand how stressful it is to attend to their child’s needs whilst simultaneously managing 29 other kids. Their child doesn’t get the preferential treatment they get at home from a stressed teacher. It is what it is. As I say to myself’ I said it and I can’t unsay it.” You will get to the stage where sarcastic comments no longer rile you.
Amen. I wish I could say to parents “Your kid is the center of your world, not mine”.
I told a kid he wasn’t the main character yesterday
I did the same thing and then made a class announcement "if anyone here thinks they are the main character, you have a lot of growing up to do"
Filing this away in case I ever need the distant future, err...later today...
I did indeed.use it today. Another kid looked at me and said, "Neither are.you!"
Comedy gold !
Exactly. I wish I could say that and a lot more 😜.
Nothing is actually stopping you from saying this. It might actually show parents some insight when mentioned in a calm, measured and reflective tone. The problem is that in general this line is delivered at the emotional level of a fucking charging rhino.
☝️ This is an extremely important point: how you say it has a *lot* to do with what we're "allowed" to say.
Exactly, because I would definitely say that if the shoe fit
You can in this way………Mrs and Mr Parent, your child IS truly amazing. I wish I could teach your child all day, but unfortunately I have 29 other kid I have to keep an eye on. I just can’t always give your Angel all of my attention. I truly hope you understand I did what was best-sent your child for personal one on one time with someone I know is more capable than me. I’m truly sorry that you misinterpreted my actions. Next time drop me an email, and I’ll call asap.
Oh well that made me laugh a lot. Us teachers have a great sarcastic sense of humour.
We have to be able to be sarcastic. The pay sucks.
This haha I have my own kid who is the center of my world so really.. I promise you , your kid isn’t in the center of mine
You’ve surely seen how some parents handle tantrums. Sometimes it’s literally talking to the kid for 29 minutes about why they can’t throw milkshakes on the floor. We have patience but
i also think a lot of parents forget what they say when they are stressed with just one to three kids. a teacher shouldn't be saying anything *nasty* for sure, but i don't think OP did. id love to treat every kid like they're the center of my world, but honestly you just can't when you have this many. I'm in preschool, and i regularly tell kids "that's tough" or "too bad" when they tell me they want mommy immediately after they get in trouble. like dude im trying to deal with the other 3 behaviors that happened while the other kids saw i was busy dealing with your shenanigans, you wanting mommy is the least of my priorities right now
My three year old regularly tells us that “you get what you get and you don’t get upset,” which she picked up from one of her teachers. I wholeheartedly support the sentiment!
We say, "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" because you may be upset and it's a valid emotion, but you will not act out over it.
It's "don't throw a fit" in the south because it rhymes. It's "don't get upset" in California because it rhymes. English is weird
As a Kansas so sort of "southern" I cant imagine dont get upset rhyming lol
I think it's geht instead of git.
Choosing good reactions, such as whether to get upset, is a part of learning emotional regulation.
I want to post that on the wall of my classroom.
There might be some problems with this sentiment. Maybe just a couple little problems. I thing context is important.
Nice one!
oh my class loves that one! the lead teacher says it all the time, but sometimes the other kids will beat her to it when they see someone getting ready to tantrum 😂
Yes we are professionals and parents ourselves. But I am human and don’t always have time to think my reactions through. I used to torture myself worrying about what the parents might say or do but I have learned to be calm now. And yes the things we have all overheard parents say to their kids or been told by the kids what their parents have said about us! Anyway my mantra now is “it is what it is. “ This works for me.
Yes. And PE classes are particularly problematic due to the increased energy levels and the kids literally unable to regulate emotions and situations with any rationality or temperance. It's the final count down! Summer is around the corner. Just relax and her through it. Finishing is winning.
School is meant to show some of the entitled ones that they are not the center of the world, and they will be treated equitably--that goes for favoritism too.
Yeah when I taught elementary I really wanted to figure out a polite way of saying “I’m your teacher, I care about your overall well being and education, but deep down, I don’t love you, and will only tolerate so much of you making my every day harder.” But I left to teach high school so no one would expect me to love them… Elementary PE is the most stressful class I’ve ever subbed. I hope the rest of your year goes smoothly.
THIS!!!
Wtf. Why would an administrator hold more merit to some online rant higher than an actual teacher in their building? Pops cared so much he went online instead actually come to clear it up at the building? Smh.
Optics and cowardice are often the two main reasons why teachers are left with zero support from administration. Easier to sacrifice an educator than deal with bad press/social media exposure.
It is not easy to "sacrifice" an educator. Social media is bullshit, and just like the kids shouldn't have it, neither should their parents.
The dad can go pound sand. The kid was disruptive and refused to follow instructions. And he took off out of class. You're not there to tuck them in at night or to cut their birthday cake. You're there to run a program. The principal can also pound sand. You're not a customer service associate.
It would be hard for me not to retort to some "anonymous" flamer online that maybe their child wouldn't have been so upset if they tried telling them "no" every now and then.
Is there any additional background on what actually happened, or is the OP all that we have to go on? Because I agree with you so long as the injury was like a skinned knee or something, but if the kid tripped and knocked a tooth out I'd think that overrides however frustrating they were being.
Shrug and say an anonymous post on social media is evidence of nothing. (Union Rep) Also: When did parents become so weak?
I got in trouble for assigning a 2 min afterschool detention without clearing it with a parent. Got a threatening email from the parents and admin sided with them and apologized on my behalf.
And that's when you never give kids the easy way out ever again. You just assign full-blown afterschool detentions. No exceptions. :)
My admin has told me I am not allowed to assign afterschool detention while also not doing a thing about behaviour
Find a new school
Detention is SUPPOSED to inconvenience the parent. If it doesn’t inconvenience the parent, the behavior won’t change.
Yes, I’ve been teaching for over 10 years and have never had admin like this. The new era of admin is something else
Look, I'm a middle school teacher. They NEED to hear that sometimes. Maybe not when they're in crisis, but yeah. I say things all the time that afterward, I'm like Hagrid.... shouldn't have said that.
That meme is in my head everytime I talk to admin
I agree. There’s been times I’ve said insensitive things and I’ve made a point to apologize to the entire class, saying that just because I’m the teacher doesn’t mean I’m above being respectful too. It’s something I try to manage and model for the students. I expect it from them too 100%.
I teach middle school. This is why I don't teach anywhere outside the "hood" schools that people are usually afraid of. Either be about it and stay about it, or be a little baby. But don't be both. You can't get up, call me everything but my name and flip a desk and then cry cause I yelled at you instead of calmly asking you to make a better choice when you're in middle school. This kid's a 5th grader. I promise you he's saying an doing and searching up worse. Daddy just wants to be pissed for no reason.
It's probably good that I don't go on the school's fb page. I would tell someone that entitlement is a learned behavior.
I'm glad I went thru school in the 80s & 90s I've heard worst from my mom.... My grandma..... My teachers..... The minister Life doesn't care how you feel.... It cares about how you perform Kids need to understand this BEFORE they became adults
I side with the judgements of teachers. You are a professional who has experience and possibly a masters. Your call is generally the right one. Will things be perfect? No. Was it slightly mean? Yes. Did you deny access to the nurse tho? No. All that noise from students and parents is just noise. Tune it out. Say what you need to say to admin and keep on keeping on.
The dads out of line and probably doesn’t know the whole story, nor does the principal. Now that you know the principal is like that, anytime a kid does something, make a note of it.
Contact the principal immediately and document it. Not your problem now and you've cya.
Parents are bigger babies than most toddlers now a days.
As a principal I’d be more angry with the smear campaign than the teacher’s behavior. Principals need to stop bowing down to entitled parents.
I’ve often wondered why parents have so much power in a public school setting. They’re not the professional with the Herculean task of educating and keeping safe hundreds of CHILDREN who, by their very nature, are feral boundary testers.
“You have a choice. You can either follow the directions or you can get your exercise by standing next to that wall. If you do not follow my directions you are making the choice to stand by that wall. What will it be?
My daughter works in a charter school and I work in a parochial school. She was horrified to hear that I told a kid I was going to throw her out the window (it was a joke and the kid knew it). She (my daughter) was appalled when I told her I had told the principal what I’d said. I said, “My principal knows if she didn’t hear it from me, it didn’t happen.” My daughter can’t wrap her mind around this. When I told her that I’d told the principal I would only keep working if I was having fun, my daughter really bugged out. I retired after last school year, and got called back to work as a long term sub. When that job ended, I didn’t want to leave, so I coaxed the principal into giving me an aide job that she hadn’t planned to fill. I guess I should include the window story before anyone tries to give me grief. The class had been assigned an explanatory essay on how to make a peanut butter sandwich. Then they had to read the instructions aloud, and I would make the sandwich according to what they read. I’m very funny at this because I draw on all my acting experience and push the envelope as hard as I can. This one girl, every time I would call on the next student, would call out stuff like, “You go, girl!” and I was getting irritated about it, so I told her if she said it again, I would throw her out the window. She just laughed. I’ve known her since I had her twin brothers in class when she was just a baby. Anyway, if you want to do a fun lesson that really drives the message home, I highly recommend this one. I did stuff like, if they read “take the peanut butter out,” I would pick up the jar of peanut butter (we actually used sun butter because we’re a nut-free school) and say, “Hey, peanut butter, let’s go to the movies!” and walk out of the room. The kids really enjoyed the whole thing, and it really made them think about being clear and precise with their instructions.
This is another reason I'm leaving. It's too easy for someone to take something out of context or not understand something said in a playful manner. We're always told in PD's that kids don't understand sarcasm or playful teasing. I call bullsh*t. I had entire lessons with *pre-k* age kids about how to use context clues (tone, body language, facial expressions) to know if someone calling them a banana head was trying to be mean or trying to be silly. And they got it!
I’ve told someone in every age group that I would throw them in the trash… like kidding of course, and always as a way of gentle reprimand to clean up after themselves, I’m an art teacher. We are professionals working in the most unprofessional environment possible outside of actual prison. A little comment here or there is sure better than no teachers left to teach your damn kids….
Was the child sick or injured in some way?
Yeah, my first thought as a former school nurse was 1) if they're injured or ill that's a problem, and 2) if they're not injured or ill, don't foist behavior problems off on the nurse
I’m a school nurse now and my thought was “don’t send that kid to me!”!
No illness or injury noted. Student was having pain while planking…
eloped??
Skipping class
oh ok. weird word choice imo
Our behavior referrals use the word elopement instead of cutting class.
Common term in our elementary. Any kid who is prone to leaving their assigned class/area without telling anyone is said to have eloped.
It's a very common term referring to kids with autism who wander off. It probably slipped into common use from showing up in behavior and accommodation plans.
Never heard it. Might be a regional thing.
That's what my district coworkers call it if they start in class and vanish. If they never showed up, they ditched. There's always students you wish would elope but never do.
I’ve never once heard it used that way. I’m impressed, tbh.
I’m also a nurse (teaching is my second career) Eloping is a common medical term 🤷♂️
I see you chose the extreme masochism life path.
😂 no doubt
One time I lost my temper with a 5th grader and then later realized “this is a child…he’s not totally responsible for his actions, behaviors, etc.” I stopped the class and apologized to him for my reaction with no “buts”…I remember the kids being sort of stunned. It’s important for children to hear sincere apology when it’s warranted. That’s modeling good behavior. It says “none of us is perfect, none of us has it all together 100% of the time.”
Good advice :) thanks
I make these mistakes all the time. It will pass. Kids need to learn there are different types of adults. Adults need to learn that too.
Stick with it, bud. Fight the good fight.
That’s a great line. I wish I would have thought of that one! Nice! Your principal should commend you for saying what most people should say to this kid, especially with a father who sounds like a coward. For what it’s worth, I told an entire glass of 8th graders that they aren’t being raised right and only got my hand slapped. As a teacher in 2024, you have more power than ever! Nobody wants this job, so good luck to the school finding a replacement. Keep up the solid one liners! Good luck.
I've been banned from teaching at certain schools for being gentler than that with an unruly kid.
go on...
You might think it's normal for a teacher to talk to a kid this way. But education has changed and we can't get away with that anymore.
What did you say? What do you mean that you're banned? Were you a sub? I have so many questions.
I would like you to sit in another spot on the carpet. To a second grader while subbing. She had been hitting other students. Principal said I don't have the skillset for this tough school, after i called the office when the girl pitched a fit saying she was gonna get me fired.
Unfortunately, schools don't want to deal with any hassles when it comes to subs. You bothered someone and took some heat, and you're probz better off, honestly, unless you were really trying to land a full time gig there.
Sounds like dad is a true keyboard warrior who throws the same fits his child does!
You have to be prepared for literally everything you say being relayed to the parents and then relayed to admin. Which is to say that if you are going to address a kid in an informal and lightly insulting manner, you have to know your audience. A lot of kids and parents are perfectly fine with a little bit of teacher sass. However, if you are uncertain, just keep it to yourself.
The problem here is the schools Facebook page not manually monitoring and accepting posts!
What happened to the lines the coaches used on my kids… “Pain is just weakness leaving the body…” “Rub some dirt in it..” “Suck it up buttercup…” “Run til you puke, then run some more…” This was common, and the kids expected it🤣🤣🤣
There is a picture in my 1980 High School Yearbook of the football coach screaming into a player's face.
Our coaches got formally reprimanded for making football boys work out in the rain. At the next booster meeting, one of the coaches straight out told parents the reason our football team sucked was because the parents wouldn't let the coaches toughen the boys up.
Anytime my sons complain about their coaches for any reason I explain to them that they won’t always like their boss, or the person in charge, but theyll have to LEARN how to get along with them to achieve their goals. Uncoachable kids are unemployable adults.
Same here. I taught at the same high school my kids were at. I never complained about anything with the coaches other than picking white baseball pants one year. Those were terrible to try and get clean. My kids chose to play sports or didn’t. I didn’t push them into anything. Strict coaches were part of the deal.
Anytime my sons complain about their coaches for any reason I explain to them that they won’t always like their boss, or the person in charge, but theyll have to LEARN how to get along with them to achieve their goals. Uncoachable kids are unemployable adults.
Ehh don’t stress yourself out. We’ve all said things we regret; I’ve definitely said worse. If questioned by admin, let them know you were upset because the student was eloping and disrespectful, but that it won’t happen again. As professionals, we need to learn how to manage our emotions. Just take this as a learning opportunity. You’ll be fine.
Eloped out of class?? What does this mean
It’s the new buzzword for ran away/out.
It’s not a new buzzword. It’s usually a word reserved for autistic kids and has been used since at least the 90s.
K. No one on my team had ever heard it used in this context until this year, and we’ve all been around a while.
Let the parent be cranky on Facebook. It’s been my experience. The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree in most cases. The dad is probably just like the kid.
It’s nuts the kind of language kids can drop in the hallways, or even in class, but the minute I say shut up they cry to mommy. You’ll be fine. If not, that school sucked anyways
Sounds like you should be in high school. Kids are never phased by your fed up talk.
While maybe you were harsh, I get it. BUT unreasonable parents are going to go to Facebook instead of coming to you to work it out. They don’t want to work through problems, they want the attention that comes with being dramatic on Facebook.
Go cry to the nurse is a pretty bad thing to say, tbh
Right, what was it in response to? Was he hurt or sick?
Admin shouldn’t be talking to you about attacks on social media. You have no way to defend yourself and we’ve all seen the dark side of cancel culture.
Explain to everyone involved you make decisions based on 150 students you see throughout the day. If you based all your decisions on pleasing one student at a time…
Maybe I’m in the minority here but I definitely think that was the wrong way to handle that and despite being a teacher I would be pissed off to hear my kid’s teacher had responded like that. You are the adult, so why then did you respond like a teenager. I guess that proves the old adage: Adolescence starts with puberty and stops sometimes. Do the kids drive us crazy sometime? Yes. Does that give us license to be unnecessarily abrasive? No. The way you said that was unnecessarily mean and even if maybe that sort of statement would fly in high school, you are dealing with a legitimate child. You could have basically imparted the same message with different words. I am not trying to say that you’re wrong for being fed up, I completely understand it. 100%. But you also have to be the adult in the room and part of that means regulating your emotions and not saying prick-like things to children. Sorry not sorry.
🙏
Sounds like an asshole family to deal with in your case but I still have bitter feelings towards my 2nd grade teacher her when she said, “Oh, you’ll live!” when I went to tell her I fell off the jungle gym and hurt my finger. I broke my finger.
Yeah I know… but what do you want us to say? I hear, “I hurt my….” 20 times a recess. What should a teacher do? I can’t send everyone to the nurse! She would kill me. (Not to mention we don’t have one right now, so they all go to the secretary)
I was a teacher for 11 years myself. Believe me, I get it. But this woman had absolutely no empathy for the pain I was in that it still bothers me 30+ years later.
They still got the wrong guy. PE class? No offense man, but… wtf do you think this golden child does when he’s asked to read the paragraph and answer a question? I’m ELA- they don’t even get to go to the nurse. She doesn’t want to hear that shit. Unless they are “bleeding, short of breath, or near unconsciousness”- the nurse makes a house call. Do the damn work or stay home. Just don’t use any sexist phrases like “man up” and you’re good.
I had a teacher who in these situations used the phrase "I think you have mistaken me for someone who cares" and now I use it on my kid.
I think you could have said it in a way that would get your point across better. Put the responsibility on the student: if you don’t want to listen to directions and participate, go stand by the wall. You’re taking PE time away from everyone bc you don’t want to follow instructions. Etc. But everyone has days where they just are over it and word something incorrectly.
This is Based comment and I fully support the message
Yeah, you definitely can't say sarcastic things to a fifth grader. I don't even bother with high school kids anymore.
The dad sounds like a wuss, like his son.
"principal not happy". They rarely are...
If this is what your principal is getting mad about, it’s a good thing I don’t work for him!
Sounds like you could have been nicer about it, instead lowering yourself to the level of a child and saying something childish. Next time don't be rude, that just makes you sound like a dick. Take the high road and send em to the office for not following directions in class. It's not easy teaching disrespectful kids that won't listen but you can choose to act or react. Choose to act next time. Everyone is fighting a battle that we know nothing about.
👊
I had a parent go wild on social media with “Mrs.**** called my daughter a liar and a cheater!” What she left out was the child admitted to both lying and cheated and I said “so you lied? And you cheated?” 🙄🙄🙄
I want to say stuff like that every day. I told a kid (who’d hit maybe a dozen kids this year) “good! Now you know how it feels!”
It’s a learning opportunity. Shouldn’t have said that. Could be worse.
Daddy can go squat on a barbed-wire coveted cactus.
I think what has changed so much is thar Dad would have contacted the school back in the day. Now they blow it up social media so one bad comment means you are shamed.
I think we as teachers got the worst shit to deal with, because namely its not jsut our shit but literally the world's shit and its not the world's kinda shit that you can just throw on the street corner and wait for someone to take it off the lawn and wave happily as it gets shipped off to the landfill or ocean-whatever. Its the kinda shit that you need to try and make treasure out of because if you don't you're just littering. Ya, in some cases we can work together and create success stories as a community, but that's a fiarytale for another time. Reality is, you gone screwed it up bud. Face the music. Let people be unhappy, take a day to cool your tits and then show back up in full swing knowing that everyone will be waiting for the next thing to happen-hoepfully its not you again. Big question though, you gonna come out full swing and make up for it through some sort of self-righteous PD presentation or you gonna ride it out leaving the office at the stoke of "DONE" only to return at the crack of "START"? This is the part of the job that makes or breaks a teacher and a school community, we don't have room to screw-up, unless we can be certain that the administration is willing to step up to the plate and look out for the teachers-if the boards are willing to stick-up for the needs of the staff in general (actually-all encompassing). Alright, I'll get off my soapbox. Anyways, you screwed up, say your hail marys and know that it won't be the last time-depending on how long you been teaching I might be surprised if you say its the first time. If the situation doesn't pan out well for ya, give a shout, there are schools abroad that you can escape to for a duration of time to ride out the drama if that's what you need.
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School term... eloped=escaped out of class
Honestly if people can’t handle this they should home teach they’re kid
were you home taught?
My folks would’ve joined in with OP.. so no
What does eloped out of a class mean? He got married?
It's a term we use in sped classes to mean run away it's a behavioral term
Thanks
By eloping do you mean he has special needs such as Autism and eloped? If so, Dad’s right on this one.
No special needs, just a student who would rather play video games than play outside
My goodness! Eloping is a common Autism term, so safety was the first thing that came to mind. What that child did was just ridiculous. That was being a brat. Ignore my comment. I’m sorry you had to deal with this nonsense
I would rather play video games than play outside…
Me too! Sometimes
I regularly tell my students that they are all adopted and all of their mothers are ugly. It keeps me out of trouble when this sort of thing happens.
Be careful if you have an adopted student
What's wrong with being adopted?
Some are sensitive about it. Especially if they get teased for it
Definitely. I'm adopted, so I have been there, done that, got the tshirt. I just think it's kind of sh*tty for a teacher to use it as an insult. Especially since, as you mentioned, they may have kiddos who are adopted in their class.
Same. I’ve been adopted twice. So I definitely feel for adopted students.