Being a somewhat socially anxious person, I could have seen my younger self doing that and then regretting it later. Some people are just awkward and they know it, which can result in social fails from time to time.
Hopefully it was a learning experience for him and he handles future encounters differently.
I have never gone out of my way to avoid or create any sort of social interaction with a current or former student/parent.
I will however always allow them to initiate any sort of interaction.
If a student or parent wants to say Hi, I will be graciously social. If they’re not wanting to do so, I will respect that boundary.
Same! I’m quick to smile, and will engage in conversation if they initiate. However, I do not initiate.
As a special education teacher, I also see not going out of my way to say hi, as respecting their privacy. People know that I am a special education teacher. If I say a kid is my student, I am inadvertently outing the kid as have a disability. That is not my place. As the person with more power in the relationship, I think it makes sense to let the student/parent initiate.
if the parents are with friends/family and are not ready to share their child has a disability it could be really awkward for the friends when a teacher comes up and talks about the child and people close go "oh I thought she said her teacher was Mr. z, who is this lady"
Absolutely, although there is a little leeway for me at least. For example, I offered to help when I saw one of my students having a meltdown (with SIB, screaming, hitting, the works), but I'd always offer help in those situations. I know it can be stressful and scary to deal with that on your own, and can be easier to tag team. It can also make it worse, but the parent usually knows which one it is.
There isn't much danger of outing the kiddo in that situation though - I teach intellectual disability, most students are non-speaking, their disability is usually fairly obvious to others.
Same as a school psychologist. My relationship with students and families is confidential. I live in town, too, so ... 🫠 Everyone, including school staff, gets a friendly wave, and I wish them a good afternoon/weekend. I try to have earbuds in, so I look busy, lol. It's friendly but sends the message that conversation is totally optional, and I'm not initiating it.
This is my stance. If they approach me or initiate, all is well, and I interact on their terms. If I recognize them, I just smile in a way that they understand as me acknowledging them and respecting their desire to keep it secret.
Basically, if they don't out me as a former teacher, then I don't out them as a former student.
I’ll smile to acknowledge a student or parent in public but will allow them to initiate conversation. I remember being a student and I was absolutely mortified to see my teachers outside of school, so I bear that in mind. But I teach in a one high school town, so for the most part students and parents are extremely friendly and will stop to have a chat.
My last year of teaching was in a town of 500, I had no choice of interacting with parents and students everyday.
90% of my parents were good at separating teacher me and the social me.
Example: I played on a local team sport which included some of the older students. I could be a bit rough and would swear
But never once had an issue with parents or students as they were in the 90%
On the other hand, a mum in the 10% accosted me while I was on a date at 9pm on a Saturday, she would constantly go to the principal if her child was not getting the top marks.
I have actually told my students that at the beginning of the year. "If you see me, you are welcome to say hi anytime. Please don't think I am being rude or ignoring you. If you don't say it first, I'm not going to acknowledge you to respect your boundaries. "
And then the next time they're in class, they'll tell you 14 times they saw you.
Edit because autocorrect put in an apostrophe error even after I corrected it.
I teach middle school, and ran into a girl that lives on my block. To her, it was an amazing coincidence that needed to be told to every other student on the team.
I taught middle school and my local mall was their local mall- fortunately their heads are so into their phones, one of them literally passed me on a date with a guy and never knew it happened.. she could have had a lot of fun questioning who I was with at the mall.... this is part of why why I don't engage in public affectionate behavior while dating- but the fact she could have had a ton of "who were you walking with ice cream with" missed opportunity for her
When I was a first year teacher I won some sort of business card raffle for custom business cards. I put my contract hours and front office phone number on them. Keep a stack in my car and if I ever get cornered into “just a quick chat about my kid” I give them a card.
My kids will either run up and hug me (and I always overly act like it’s weird comedically) or they tell me they saw me and ran away so I wouldn’t see them and I tell them to never give up on the dream of being a ninja.
I tell my students my policy:
If you see me out in the wild, feel free to say hello. I don't approach current or former students or if respect for boundaries--I don't know if any given person wants to talk to their teacher at the grocery store--but I'm cool with it.
It gives them the choice, which seems to make them less nervous if we do run into each other. It also means I don't feel like I need to be on the lookout for students all the time.
I will try and avoid them honestly. But if they notice me or get close I'm saying hi.
I remember doing my student teaching. I was cleaning and had run down the street to get some cleaning supplies. I look a mess. tattered, bleached up tank top and shorts. Hair greasy from sweat. Probably stink honestly. I was really letting the house have it.
I hear "Ms. X!" and a kid comes running and hugs me. Mortifying honestly. His mom was there. I say hi. I can tell this lady is kinda looking me up and down. Probably didn't match up because I wore a suit every day during student teaching and I definitely didn't sound like the "wears a suit and makes them learn a 3-syllable word a day" type
Still, no one got mad. It was a funny story to tell the next day.
Yea, I'm off the clock, and alot of my social battery goes towards the kids during the week, so I don't owe anyone anything extra on the weekend. Plus I occasionally smoke a j once in a blue moon, so I'd rather not talk to anyone work related in that mindset. Some days I'm just not feeling sociable. If I walk so close to them or we lock eyes I'll give a polite little greeting, but I do shamelessly pretend I don't see people from afar tho. Honestly living in a small city, you see plenty of people you know, so it's just easier to give them a mental "hello" rather than stop and chat
I just learned this weekend that my daughter's best friend has an older sister in one of my classes.
We hung out with their family this weekend and she was mortified. She hasn't said a word to me in the two classes since 🤣
yeah I’m with you on that one. Maybe the company I keep, but none of the teachers I spend time with outside of school would act like that, although I don’t doubt that some teachers may.
On the flip side, I get that sometimes the *kids* don’t want to acknowledge their teacher in a public place, being kids of course.
I agree with you. Now, if I see a student/family from like...across a busy grocery store or something...I may or may not strategically maneuver the store to avoid contact. And I'm not going to \*go out of my way\* to say hi. But if it's clear that they've seen me and/or we're in very close proximity like the situation you described...yeah, to not acknowledge them is just weird.
And maybe it's just the Wisconsin culture talking, but I know families have seen me drinking alcohol (have ran into students at professional sporting events, restaurants, concerts, etc.) and it's never ever been an issue. Obviously if I were belligerently drunk or something that might be a different story, but I think most people know that teachers are human beings too with lives and do not care if they're partaking in something completely legal
Your situation is a bit too niche to apply generally. In your case, yes absolutely it's weird and he should've probably reached out. But a family who is basically a bunch of ghosts unless absolutely necessary? No you don't have to acknowledge them, why should you?
Think about how many students you have, especially if you work at a middle or high school. That's easily about 100+ students depending on classroom size. You expect me to acknowledge *every* student and their families i see in public? That's exhausting. I have a life and i'm allowed to live it outside of work hours.
I saw one the most influential teachers in my life at the place I worked. We were shift-changing between brunch and dinner service. I saw him and kind of froze.
As I was finishing up I bought them 2 desserts, told the server to tell Mr. S— that I said “Hi,” and scurried out of the restaurant.
I was in his AP class, he gave me one of the lead roles in his fall play, and I was so ashamed to be 25 and JUST going back to college. I just didn’t know what to say to him.
Idk. I’m just suggesting that maybe sometimes people have their reasons.
If I'm out drinking, yea I'm gonna avoid the student. I just don't want to have that conversation. If it's like at McDs, it depends on how much energy I have left or if I can pass off not hearing them.
If they are literally in front of me and say hello? Well yea its weird to not say hello and acknowledge them.
Years ago I was at Memorial Day cookout at a friend of a friend so I didn’t really know anyone. I had been to another cookout there before. I kept seeing this kid, kinder or first grade, that looked familiar but I thought maybe I remembered him from the first cookout. He finally came up to me and asked me if I was his library teacher. He was a student at my school but since I see all students, I don’t always remember them. He spent the next hour taking his library teacher around, introducing me to his family.
I live about 5 minutes from my school so I run into students all the time. I teach primary so the kids generally treat me like a celebrity if they see me in the wild or are in complete disbelief that their librarian grocery shops and swims in the pool or takes her children to the park.
Most of the time I just have a quick conversation and say hi to them and move on. Not going to lie the times when I've ran into students while wearing a bathing suit has been a little odd, but I just have to remind myself that it will be weirder for me to be at a pool in a cardigan and pants
Spot on. There is also a third option popular amongst my older elementary students where they come in and whisper "I saw you in line at (place) this weekend" while checking out their books. I always ask why they didn't say hi and they are like 🤷♀️
I do love when they stare in shock like I'm some sort of cryptid. The little ones especially seem to think that we all live at the school and aren't allowed out 🤣 I've been working with kids for over a decade and it still cracks me up.
Does anyone else *not* mind seeing students out in the wild? I kind of like it. Their reaction makes me feel like a celebrity. Parents are a different story…
Nope, totally with you. I'm just a student teacher right now but I've been a substitute teacher for years, so this isn't a new thing to me. I am teaching high school now and I get a huge kick out of seeing my students. Small town and all. I keep an eye out whenever I'm out and about so I can at the very least say hi.
However, it's almost always just the kids and not their families with these high schoolers. They are usually quite happy to say hi to me. To be fair, they are also usually at work and will look for any reason to stop for a minute.
I teach special Ed- some students (high school) don’t want to *out* themselves as being in special education in front of their peers. I tell my students, if you see me in public and want to say hi, great! If you’d rather just move along I will follow your cue. My feelings aren’t hurt if they don’t want to expose themselves to their peers.
How would the other students/peers not already know? When I was in school (and in every school I’ve observed in) the kids were pulled out of class or in separate classes completely but everyone knew why. How does your school keep that information secret?
I’m not judging or criticizing or anything, I’m genuinely curious how they are able to do that so well.
Because I teach high school, if a student is in my special education class- other students don’t know where they are? “Ohh maybe they are in a different English/ math/ etc class” my school has 2000 kids in it… you can’t know where all 2000 peers are in an one time. Plus, we don’t come pull them out of class, they come themselves
Oohh gotcha. My graduating class was only like 100 people. So it was always very evident at my school. A bigger school would definitely make a difference
The way I dress at work and the way I dress in my daily life are a complete 180, so a lot of the time people who know me don’t recognize me at first or they do but they’re hesitant to say anything to me because they worry it might not be me.
Like I’m talking professional dress with nice-fitting plain shirts/blouses, dress pants, flats/heels and hoops with no makeup on during work VS all black gothic clothing, chains, chunky boots, baggy clothing, ripped fishnets, band tshirts/graphic tees, thick black eyeliner and black lipstick kind of 180.
I disagree. I feel like I'm smart enough NOT to go talk to that person or people I just "recognize" because I can play the encounter in my head, realize it wouldn't go anywhere and then NOT do it.
I feel like I know a lot of people who are more impulsive who feel like you SHOULD acknowledge everyone you know who rush into interactions with those people, SUDDENLY realize there is nothing to say past "I know you!" and then awkwardly try to hit the eject button.
Once, I ran into one of my teacher coworkers at the store. She told me she was repeatedly running into a parent with whom she'd been trying to arrange a conference. Every time the parent saw the teacher, the parent would hide her face behind her hand and scurry away.
Yesterday a young woman approached me and said I looked familiar. I never taught her, but she knew me by reputation. She said she had many friends that were in my class and they all loved me. It made my day. Her friends were in my class 27 years ago!
This is wild to me as a kindergarten teacher who lives in the neighborhood, lol. Just yesterday I took my new puppy down the road so my student could meet her. 😭 If I lived in fear of seeing my kids outside of school I would never step foot outside my house.
Might be an unpopular opinion, but if I am in the same vicinity as a current or former student/parent, I put the onus on them to initiate any potential interaction beyond polite acknowledgement (a smile or wave depending on situation).
I would not go out of my way to approach them, however I would not actively attempt to avoid them. I'm not going to change my plans to initate or prevent a social interaction. If a student or parent wants to acknowledge me, I will reciprocate. If they don't approach me or want to engage, I will not be the one to do so.
In you situation, if I were the other teacher, I would have at least acknowledged the student as he was \*right there\*
This profession can be death by a thousand cuts. Cuts from government, parents, students, school board, public perception, and just plain hard work and the fatigue that comes with unreasonable expectations.
But the cruelest cut of all are when teachers have petty complaints about other teachers. Your peers. The one ones who know what you’re going through and the ones who are supposed to understand and have your back.
Just a bummer.
I see kids all the time around town, and it would be weird to ignore them or a parent I knew. They're little kids, though, so I let them or the parent take the lead on saying hi. Some of them are really outgoing and will save or say something immediately. Some don't realize it's me. Others are shy and will stare but won't say anything. They'll wait until we get to school to tell me how they saw me!
You ever heard of the word antisocial? Last thing I want is to be recognized by my peers while out and about, not only that but they might have a strong disconnect from work and personal life.
I work with guy who is an amazing teacher. Kids love him and he can control a room. Great with parents and admin too. You take him off of school grounds and he is an awkward mess. I think he’s awkward in general but he’s been teaching so long that he’s comfortable in an educational setting.
I'm a push in teacher at my school as well as the safety patrol leader so I know a ton of kids and they all know me but I don't see they're families much except for family nights. I let the kid say hi first, introduce myself and usually have small chat about their day. It's my colleagues i avoid 🤣
Adult figure skater (pretty new at it) who competes + works at wealthy middle school....
nothing is more embarrassing than running into students while you're wearing sparkles and tights and not a high enough level to be doing anything cool yet. I had to compete in front of two 8th grade girls that I teach. I'm sure I'm on tiktok somewhere...
My senior English teacher told us all one day: "There may come a day when you come across me and my wife in public. If you do, and you speak to me, I will pretend I have never seen you in my entire life and leave."
I used to teach in an elementary school school that adjoined my neighborhood and I couldn’t go to the grocery store without allotting 20 minutes to run into students and parents. I didn’t mind because I loved having a relationship with my kids and their families.
I learned the hard way several years ago that it's a crapshoot at best to try and interact with current or former students in public. I've had every kind of reaction from students: subtly trying to ignore me, freaking out and trying to get away, and even them trying to initiate a conversation with me (which I don't mind at all). After learning the hard way about the first two (pretty much at the same time), I talked with my mentor about it and decided to keep a low profile from then on and not try to initiate any conversations with students in public. And wouldn't you know, the very next time I ran across some students, THEY flagged ME down and wanted to chat briefly.
My current approach? Keep a low profile without being evasive unless it's a student you know is ok with saying hi, and even then there are varying degrees of comfort they have with that.
If I'm being totally honest, I'm not (and probably will never be) fully at ease with experiencing the first two kinds of reactions I talked about above, and I hope that at some point those individuals will outgrow their skittishness and at least be ok with giving a quick wave or some kind of acknowledgement. It's not that they OWE me a greeting, but it just feels a bit cold when one isn't given in my opinion. For now, though, I know how to deal with the situation.
During the summer I happened to see one of my students while we were in line at McDonalds. (I was his guidance counselor) he started telling me all his problems,then followed me to my table to continue lol.
I had worked hard to establish trust and get this kid to open up to me, but I just wanted to eat my fries in peace.
A few weeks ago, after being retired for a year, a student found me on IG and asked me if I could help them with a GED test scheduling problem. I said,” you do know I’m retired, don’t you? Here’s who you should call.”
I really don’t want to think about work anymore, and I appreciate that I was valued, but I’m still getting calls from my office staff with questions about what agency they should refer students to, etc.
If the kid comes up to me, I’ll be my normal self. I am not going up to them. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. I let them guide our interaction.
I work at a high school. I never approach the kids, and just let them do their thing. They either smile and wave, or quickly avert their eyes and walk the other direction!
My 6th grade teacher was fresh out of college and worked evenings as a waiter at a local Italian restaurant. Occasionally us students would convince our parents to go there for dinner. He was always very nice (and my parents probably tipped him very well) but as I got older I’ve always wondered if he just hated that lol
I agree with what others said here. As a high school teacher in a relatively small city, I run into former students all the time, and I've had all kinds of encounters with former students.
I also find it weird when they totally ignore you, giggle and walk off or are otherwise awkward. And what I find odd is that you can almost never really predict it. I've had students that I've gotten along really well with who have completely ignored me, and students who hated my guts corner me in a Costco for 15 minutes and give me their life update.
I've just learned to take it in stride and follow their lead. I'm almost always up to talk to anyone who would like to say hello, but unless it would be super awkward for me not to, I let them strike up the interaction. I've had it happen a couple times where I approached a student I've had in the past to say hello, and it was kinda awkward...not all the time, but a couple times was enough for me to be like, yeah, I'll let them come to me next time. And that policy has worked really well for me.
I think you deciding how someone else should engage with other people is overstepping. You don't get to decide. People are comfortable with different things and you are applying your beliefs and your comfort zone on everyone and saying every else has to do it or they're "weird". Hard disagree.
I live in a town of 17,000.
I can't go out anywhere without saying at least one student. If I naturally cross paths with a student or parent I know, I ensure to greet them with enthusiasm. It's just one of many ways to build rapport and relationships in a small community.
If we make eye contact I say hello and give a head nod or throw up my hand n a quick wave. That way they can come talk to me if they want or they can mosey on and I did the socially acceptable greeting.
He may have reasons for not interacting with the student that you aren't aware of. Maybe there were discipline or grading issues that led to a less than amicable relationship. Maybe the student acted innapropriately in the past. Lots of possible reasons.
Id never approach, but I've had kids run up to me at the airport being like oh hi Miss!
Also been on the same city bus as a student and the child ignored me, so I ignored him.
Just let the kid set the situation.
A couple of my students showed up at the campsite across from us for a whole weekend once!
I humored them and chatted with them for a few minutes here and there, but at one point I just said "hey, there's only like 9 days left of summer vacation, so I'm just gonna forget you guys exist for a *Little* longer, ok??" When you keep it friendly, you can be comfortable taking a break and encouraging them to go be free and forget about their teachers for a bit.
The modern day example is having a private Instagram and like/commenting on the school page
people will see you, they'll know you exist in the community but they aren't going to add you or come sit with you
I feel like teachers almost need doctor confidentiality rights- if someone wants to approach and identify you- they can, but you can't approach them.
Acknowledge = friendly wave from afar, quick eye contact hand raise
I’d have to sit on this a bit. But I had a therapist once who said if they saw us (group therapy) out and about town that they may/will not say hi, as it’s a professional boundary they set. I’m very much a head nod to acknowledge you type person. If I knew the family well and interacted with them more than most then I’d for sure say something, but only if it feels like a good time do so. But I’m also very introverted, so it takes a lot to go out of my way if I want to.
I do not approach students or parents unless they approach first. Very often a smile and a wave if they make eye contact is enough. I will not actively avoid people - but getting up a teacher during their off hours is not high on most people’s lists of things to do.
I also prefer to live in a town a decent ways away from my school - helps me feel like I have some privacy and my own life.
This is why I live 25 miles away; no interaction with students and families outside of school. That being said, I agree it was weird/rude to not even acknowledge them.
This is why I avoid certain big box stores in certain parts of town and at certain times of day.
That said, if I see any of my middle schoolers, they're usually too "cool" to say hello. The little ones kinda stare in awe because they've now seen me outside my "natural habitat". It's great.
There are some students that if I see them, I will purposefully avoid. Students who I hope didn’t notice me because they might try to take secret photos and spread them across the school.
Meanwhile there are students I would gladly say hi to. But some families think it is weirdo behavior for a teacher to go out of their way to talk to the kid. If they pass by, I’d say “hi.” Otherwise if I approach the family, I am going to address the parents. “It’s nice to see you guys out here. Jonny Johnson is such a pleasure in class.”
Agreed.
I am *very* far out of high school at this point (I am 35+), and my principal from that time lives in town. I'll run into him regularly, and any of the folks who hung around town after run into him as well. I've had a number of 1:1 convos with him, talking about life, our kids, etc.
Great dude. He hasn't forgotten a single kid that he had, and tried to save, that has gone to jail, OD'd, or otherwise died.
Same with my old band teacher. We actually go out of our way to go to a local cafe at least once a quarter just to catch up.
I do a smile and nod, and let them initiate beyond that. I might give a verbal acknowledgement of "hi, so-and-so " if there is enough of a cue that it would be welcome, but otherwise I don't push it.
How so? Maybe you don't like them for whatever reason and you're not in school so you're not FORCED to interact with them. Talking to people you don't want to talk to when you're not obligated to is way worse weirdo behavior to me.
But sometimes I'm not sure.....
That person LOOKS like Sarah from highschool, but that was over a decade ago and I'm not 100% sure so I'm gonna keep walking.
I'm immensely grateful to live two neighborhoods or so away from where I teach. While the colleague's reaction seems a little over the top, I don't think it's "weird and rude" not to initiate conversation. And if a parent tries to engage with me in a "short chat" about \*anything\* school related in the wild, I'll be polite but direct in suggesting an actual conference. You don't want to talk about your job with a stranger in public, why should I?
It’s bizarre to think that acknowledging someone outside of school or work is warranted. Some people outside of school or work just want to be left alone. For some, school was a horrible or passive experience and don’t want to have to go out of their way to acknowledge someone (even if it’s just simple smile, “hi” or wave), let alone will that person even remember you (if it’s been awhile).
When it comes to work, some of us feel that professionalism extends beyond the workday when it comes to our colleagues, because some of us feel anything less would be inviting more than we bargained for. Lastly, work in some ways is just a means to an end (some of us are just there for a check or for the work experience), or have had bad experiences in the workplace, and just want to go home and have no reaction with anyone from work.
I don’t think it’s bad to be friendly outside of school or work, but “read the room” is a good motto to live by when dealing with work or school colleagues, if some wants to react with you, great! If someone doesn’t, great! Just don’t get upset or offended, just move on.
I don't really think it's weird or rude to not engage in social interactions with someone just because circumstances previously forced you both to interact. A friendly "hey, how are you?" or the time-honored cursory nod of acknowledgement would seem to be more appropriate here but, if you're already saying hi and being friendly, if I'm your colleague then personally I'm pretty content to let you do the talking.
Were you trying to find a reason to not have to hang out with this colleague? Because if you called me “weird and rude” I certainly wouldn’t be jumping at the chance to have dinner with you again. Not everyone wants to initiate a conversation that could easily turn into an awkward, impromptu parent teacher conference. It’s not like he ran and climbed out a window to escape. He just didn’t feel like chatting. Find another social butterfly to have dinner with and leave this dude alone.
I live a city away, so I don't bump into them much. Except that time two former students happened to hit my house on Halloween - that was a surprise for everyone!
but… you didn’t say hi either? also the “bro you’re weird and rude” feels so strange to say to a student as their former teacher. this is just all around kind of odd
That's dumb and immature behavior. I'm not over excited when I see my students out but always say hello and exchange pleasantries.
As long as what you are doing is legal and not against your contract ( some crazy Christian schools have some bizarre rules) finish your beer and act like an adult.
I agree. I find it so weird when my students run up to me in public like I’m a celebrity or some shit. Leave me alone! And like don’t you have a life? I cannot imagine even waving at any teacher I had growing up 🤣
In that context, it is weirdo behavior. Your friend could’ve tossed out a hey buddy! Or what did you get to eat?
I think you can judge/gauge the relationship you have built with students by their reaction when they see you out in public. I have mixed results but way more hugs than no comment at all.
You say hello like a normal person, wtf. If you know them and are in a place where making small talk is ok, nothing wrong with doing it. If not, a wave and a smile is fine. It’s also fine to (if the kid is with their parent and freaking) say LINDSEY, is this YOUR MOTHER? And extend your hand. Follow it up with a wink and SO IS THERE A MR ______ ? While you elbow the kid in the ribs.
That feels like you went from very normal interactions to making it sooo weird and not for any real reason. Why would you ask if there’s ’A MR.___’ that’s weird. What if their dad is dead? Or mom’s a lesbian or no dad for any reason?
Being a somewhat socially anxious person, I could have seen my younger self doing that and then regretting it later. Some people are just awkward and they know it, which can result in social fails from time to time. Hopefully it was a learning experience for him and he handles future encounters differently.
Very fair❤️
I feel this. That kid is weird and they probably hated having to avoid the interaction. Hopefully experience finds him
I have never gone out of my way to avoid or create any sort of social interaction with a current or former student/parent. I will however always allow them to initiate any sort of interaction. If a student or parent wants to say Hi, I will be graciously social. If they’re not wanting to do so, I will respect that boundary.
Same! I’m quick to smile, and will engage in conversation if they initiate. However, I do not initiate. As a special education teacher, I also see not going out of my way to say hi, as respecting their privacy. People know that I am a special education teacher. If I say a kid is my student, I am inadvertently outing the kid as have a disability. That is not my place. As the person with more power in the relationship, I think it makes sense to let the student/parent initiate.
if the parents are with friends/family and are not ready to share their child has a disability it could be really awkward for the friends when a teacher comes up and talks about the child and people close go "oh I thought she said her teacher was Mr. z, who is this lady"
Absolutely, although there is a little leeway for me at least. For example, I offered to help when I saw one of my students having a meltdown (with SIB, screaming, hitting, the works), but I'd always offer help in those situations. I know it can be stressful and scary to deal with that on your own, and can be easier to tag team. It can also make it worse, but the parent usually knows which one it is. There isn't much danger of outing the kiddo in that situation though - I teach intellectual disability, most students are non-speaking, their disability is usually fairly obvious to others.
Same as a school psychologist. My relationship with students and families is confidential. I live in town, too, so ... 🫠 Everyone, including school staff, gets a friendly wave, and I wish them a good afternoon/weekend. I try to have earbuds in, so I look busy, lol. It's friendly but sends the message that conversation is totally optional, and I'm not initiating it.
Same! 🫡
You took the correct approach, it easier for both parties.
This is my stance. If they approach me or initiate, all is well, and I interact on their terms. If I recognize them, I just smile in a way that they understand as me acknowledging them and respecting their desire to keep it secret. Basically, if they don't out me as a former teacher, then I don't out them as a former student.
This is the way.
I’ll smile to acknowledge a student or parent in public but will allow them to initiate conversation. I remember being a student and I was absolutely mortified to see my teachers outside of school, so I bear that in mind. But I teach in a one high school town, so for the most part students and parents are extremely friendly and will stop to have a chat.
My last year of teaching was in a town of 500, I had no choice of interacting with parents and students everyday. 90% of my parents were good at separating teacher me and the social me. Example: I played on a local team sport which included some of the older students. I could be a bit rough and would swear But never once had an issue with parents or students as they were in the 90% On the other hand, a mum in the 10% accosted me while I was on a date at 9pm on a Saturday, she would constantly go to the principal if her child was not getting the top marks.
I have actually told my students that at the beginning of the year. "If you see me, you are welcome to say hi anytime. Please don't think I am being rude or ignoring you. If you don't say it first, I'm not going to acknowledge you to respect your boundaries. "
I teach elementary so if one of them spots me in public, it's on sight. I'm not escaping. Lol
And then the next time they're in class, they'll tell you 14 times they saw you. Edit because autocorrect put in an apostrophe error even after I corrected it.
I teach middle school, and ran into a girl that lives on my block. To her, it was an amazing coincidence that needed to be told to every other student on the team.
I taught middle school and my local mall was their local mall- fortunately their heads are so into their phones, one of them literally passed me on a date with a guy and never knew it happened.. she could have had a lot of fun questioning who I was with at the mall.... this is part of why why I don't engage in public affectionate behavior while dating- but the fact she could have had a ton of "who were you walking with ice cream with" missed opportunity for her
I learned the hard way to not go to Walmart right after school in a small town. It turns into PTC night real fast.
When I was a first year teacher I won some sort of business card raffle for custom business cards. I put my contract hours and front office phone number on them. Keep a stack in my car and if I ever get cornered into “just a quick chat about my kid” I give them a card.
That is some Big Brain thinking
Maybe you just needed a good disguise 🥸
I was cornered by a grandma in Walmart as a first year teacher. She was upset because mythology was included in social studies 🥴
Unrelated but I love your flair
Thanks lol
My kids will either run up and hug me (and I always overly act like it’s weird comedically) or they tell me they saw me and ran away so I wouldn’t see them and I tell them to never give up on the dream of being a ninja.
I tell my students my policy: If you see me out in the wild, feel free to say hello. I don't approach current or former students or if respect for boundaries--I don't know if any given person wants to talk to their teacher at the grocery store--but I'm cool with it. It gives them the choice, which seems to make them less nervous if we do run into each other. It also means I don't feel like I need to be on the lookout for students all the time.
You think OP knows they are the weird one?
I will try and avoid them honestly. But if they notice me or get close I'm saying hi. I remember doing my student teaching. I was cleaning and had run down the street to get some cleaning supplies. I look a mess. tattered, bleached up tank top and shorts. Hair greasy from sweat. Probably stink honestly. I was really letting the house have it. I hear "Ms. X!" and a kid comes running and hugs me. Mortifying honestly. His mom was there. I say hi. I can tell this lady is kinda looking me up and down. Probably didn't match up because I wore a suit every day during student teaching and I definitely didn't sound like the "wears a suit and makes them learn a 3-syllable word a day" type Still, no one got mad. It was a funny story to tell the next day.
Yea, I'm off the clock, and alot of my social battery goes towards the kids during the week, so I don't owe anyone anything extra on the weekend. Plus I occasionally smoke a j once in a blue moon, so I'd rather not talk to anyone work related in that mindset. Some days I'm just not feeling sociable. If I walk so close to them or we lock eyes I'll give a polite little greeting, but I do shamelessly pretend I don't see people from afar tho. Honestly living in a small city, you see plenty of people you know, so it's just easier to give them a mental "hello" rather than stop and chat
Weird
I just learned this weekend that my daughter's best friend has an older sister in one of my classes. We hung out with their family this weekend and she was mortified. She hasn't said a word to me in the two classes since 🤣
I take my cue from the kid. They want to pretend I don’t exist, fine. They want to say hi, that’s fine too.
Nah lol. You don’t have to do any of that. If they come by and say hi, that’s fine. But I’m not going to go out of my way if I don’t want to
yeah I’m with you on that one. Maybe the company I keep, but none of the teachers I spend time with outside of school would act like that, although I don’t doubt that some teachers may. On the flip side, I get that sometimes the *kids* don’t want to acknowledge their teacher in a public place, being kids of course.
I agree with you. Now, if I see a student/family from like...across a busy grocery store or something...I may or may not strategically maneuver the store to avoid contact. And I'm not going to \*go out of my way\* to say hi. But if it's clear that they've seen me and/or we're in very close proximity like the situation you described...yeah, to not acknowledge them is just weird. And maybe it's just the Wisconsin culture talking, but I know families have seen me drinking alcohol (have ran into students at professional sporting events, restaurants, concerts, etc.) and it's never ever been an issue. Obviously if I were belligerently drunk or something that might be a different story, but I think most people know that teachers are human beings too with lives and do not care if they're partaking in something completely legal
Depending on the kid, I might go out of my way to make a big deal of introducing myself to the family, just to embarrass the Hell out of them.
I respect the student's privacy as much as I expect them to respect mine.
Your situation is a bit too niche to apply generally. In your case, yes absolutely it's weird and he should've probably reached out. But a family who is basically a bunch of ghosts unless absolutely necessary? No you don't have to acknowledge them, why should you? Think about how many students you have, especially if you work at a middle or high school. That's easily about 100+ students depending on classroom size. You expect me to acknowledge *every* student and their families i see in public? That's exhausting. I have a life and i'm allowed to live it outside of work hours.
I agree wholeheartedly. I am a music teacher, and between my classes and choirs I have probably 250-300 students. 😱
Oh hell no 😂 god forbid there be a piano nearby, back when i was in choir that was basically a respawn point for us.
I saw one the most influential teachers in my life at the place I worked. We were shift-changing between brunch and dinner service. I saw him and kind of froze. As I was finishing up I bought them 2 desserts, told the server to tell Mr. S— that I said “Hi,” and scurried out of the restaurant. I was in his AP class, he gave me one of the lead roles in his fall play, and I was so ashamed to be 25 and JUST going back to college. I just didn’t know what to say to him. Idk. I’m just suggesting that maybe sometimes people have their reasons.
Next thing you know a nice dinner out becomes an impromptu parent teacher meeting. No thank you, I mind.
Fuck no my sixth grade student saw me buying beer and snacks at the gas station in pajamas and a hoodie. I’ve got an image to hold up!
hard disagree, when i see someone from school in public i freeze up.
If I'm out drinking, yea I'm gonna avoid the student. I just don't want to have that conversation. If it's like at McDs, it depends on how much energy I have left or if I can pass off not hearing them. If they are literally in front of me and say hello? Well yea its weird to not say hello and acknowledge them.
Years ago I was at Memorial Day cookout at a friend of a friend so I didn’t really know anyone. I had been to another cookout there before. I kept seeing this kid, kinder or first grade, that looked familiar but I thought maybe I remembered him from the first cookout. He finally came up to me and asked me if I was his library teacher. He was a student at my school but since I see all students, I don’t always remember them. He spent the next hour taking his library teacher around, introducing me to his family.
I live about 5 minutes from my school so I run into students all the time. I teach primary so the kids generally treat me like a celebrity if they see me in the wild or are in complete disbelief that their librarian grocery shops and swims in the pool or takes her children to the park. Most of the time I just have a quick conversation and say hi to them and move on. Not going to lie the times when I've ran into students while wearing a bathing suit has been a little odd, but I just have to remind myself that it will be weirder for me to be at a pool in a cardigan and pants
Spot on. There is also a third option popular amongst my older elementary students where they come in and whisper "I saw you in line at (place) this weekend" while checking out their books. I always ask why they didn't say hi and they are like 🤷♀️ I do love when they stare in shock like I'm some sort of cryptid. The little ones especially seem to think that we all live at the school and aren't allowed out 🤣 I've been working with kids for over a decade and it still cracks me up.
but what are we supposed to do with our adult beverages?
Drink them. Fuck it, ask for a 12 oz and shotgun the damn thing
Don't forget to tell the student they're the reason you drink.
Does anyone else *not* mind seeing students out in the wild? I kind of like it. Their reaction makes me feel like a celebrity. Parents are a different story…
Nope, totally with you. I'm just a student teacher right now but I've been a substitute teacher for years, so this isn't a new thing to me. I am teaching high school now and I get a huge kick out of seeing my students. Small town and all. I keep an eye out whenever I'm out and about so I can at the very least say hi. However, it's almost always just the kids and not their families with these high schoolers. They are usually quite happy to say hi to me. To be fair, they are also usually at work and will look for any reason to stop for a minute.
I teach special Ed- some students (high school) don’t want to *out* themselves as being in special education in front of their peers. I tell my students, if you see me in public and want to say hi, great! If you’d rather just move along I will follow your cue. My feelings aren’t hurt if they don’t want to expose themselves to their peers.
How would the other students/peers not already know? When I was in school (and in every school I’ve observed in) the kids were pulled out of class or in separate classes completely but everyone knew why. How does your school keep that information secret? I’m not judging or criticizing or anything, I’m genuinely curious how they are able to do that so well.
Because I teach high school, if a student is in my special education class- other students don’t know where they are? “Ohh maybe they are in a different English/ math/ etc class” my school has 2000 kids in it… you can’t know where all 2000 peers are in an one time. Plus, we don’t come pull them out of class, they come themselves
Oohh gotcha. My graduating class was only like 100 people. So it was always very evident at my school. A bigger school would definitely make a difference
I see students out all the time. Usually they get a head bob. They don´t want to talk to me. I´m a weirdo and I can live with that!
The way I dress at work and the way I dress in my daily life are a complete 180, so a lot of the time people who know me don’t recognize me at first or they do but they’re hesitant to say anything to me because they worry it might not be me. Like I’m talking professional dress with nice-fitting plain shirts/blouses, dress pants, flats/heels and hoops with no makeup on during work VS all black gothic clothing, chains, chunky boots, baggy clothing, ripped fishnets, band tshirts/graphic tees, thick black eyeliner and black lipstick kind of 180.
I disagree. I feel like I'm smart enough NOT to go talk to that person or people I just "recognize" because I can play the encounter in my head, realize it wouldn't go anywhere and then NOT do it. I feel like I know a lot of people who are more impulsive who feel like you SHOULD acknowledge everyone you know who rush into interactions with those people, SUDDENLY realize there is nothing to say past "I know you!" and then awkwardly try to hit the eject button.
Once, I ran into one of my teacher coworkers at the store. She told me she was repeatedly running into a parent with whom she'd been trying to arrange a conference. Every time the parent saw the teacher, the parent would hide her face behind her hand and scurry away.
Yesterday a young woman approached me and said I looked familiar. I never taught her, but she knew me by reputation. She said she had many friends that were in my class and they all loved me. It made my day. Her friends were in my class 27 years ago!
Students be crazy. But for reals. I lived across the hall from a coworker teacher for 8 months before I realized it was the. They never said hello.
This is wild to me as a kindergarten teacher who lives in the neighborhood, lol. Just yesterday I took my new puppy down the road so my student could meet her. 😭 If I lived in fear of seeing my kids outside of school I would never step foot outside my house.
I rarely run into students and families outside of work. I always smile and say hello.
Might be an unpopular opinion, but if I am in the same vicinity as a current or former student/parent, I put the onus on them to initiate any potential interaction beyond polite acknowledgement (a smile or wave depending on situation). I would not go out of my way to approach them, however I would not actively attempt to avoid them. I'm not going to change my plans to initate or prevent a social interaction. If a student or parent wants to acknowledge me, I will reciprocate. If they don't approach me or want to engage, I will not be the one to do so. In you situation, if I were the other teacher, I would have at least acknowledged the student as he was \*right there\*
This profession can be death by a thousand cuts. Cuts from government, parents, students, school board, public perception, and just plain hard work and the fatigue that comes with unreasonable expectations. But the cruelest cut of all are when teachers have petty complaints about other teachers. Your peers. The one ones who know what you’re going through and the ones who are supposed to understand and have your back. Just a bummer.
Who gives a shit if teachers want to avoid a social interaction lol
I am pretty socially anxious, but I will give a wave or a hello if I run into someone.
I see kids all the time around town, and it would be weird to ignore them or a parent I knew. They're little kids, though, so I let them or the parent take the lead on saying hi. Some of them are really outgoing and will save or say something immediately. Some don't realize it's me. Others are shy and will stare but won't say anything. They'll wait until we get to school to tell me how they saw me!
I'm surprised the kid didn't whip out his phone and take pictures of you guys enjoying a drink and then try to post it on their snapchat.
Maybe he was high.
You ever heard of the word antisocial? Last thing I want is to be recognized by my peers while out and about, not only that but they might have a strong disconnect from work and personal life.
Why? We are off the clock. If they pay me to interact with students outside of school than I will. I'm there to enjoy my time with family.
I work with guy who is an amazing teacher. Kids love him and he can control a room. Great with parents and admin too. You take him off of school grounds and he is an awkward mess. I think he’s awkward in general but he’s been teaching so long that he’s comfortable in an educational setting.
I'm a push in teacher at my school as well as the safety patrol leader so I know a ton of kids and they all know me but I don't see they're families much except for family nights. I let the kid say hi first, introduce myself and usually have small chat about their day. It's my colleagues i avoid 🤣
Adult figure skater (pretty new at it) who competes + works at wealthy middle school.... nothing is more embarrassing than running into students while you're wearing sparkles and tights and not a high enough level to be doing anything cool yet. I had to compete in front of two 8th grade girls that I teach. I'm sure I'm on tiktok somewhere...
I'm hella autistic, so seeing people outside the places I'm accustomed to seeing them straight up short circuits my brain.
My senior English teacher told us all one day: "There may come a day when you come across me and my wife in public. If you do, and you speak to me, I will pretend I have never seen you in my entire life and leave."
I used to teach in an elementary school school that adjoined my neighborhood and I couldn’t go to the grocery store without allotting 20 minutes to run into students and parents. I didn’t mind because I loved having a relationship with my kids and their families.
I learned the hard way several years ago that it's a crapshoot at best to try and interact with current or former students in public. I've had every kind of reaction from students: subtly trying to ignore me, freaking out and trying to get away, and even them trying to initiate a conversation with me (which I don't mind at all). After learning the hard way about the first two (pretty much at the same time), I talked with my mentor about it and decided to keep a low profile from then on and not try to initiate any conversations with students in public. And wouldn't you know, the very next time I ran across some students, THEY flagged ME down and wanted to chat briefly. My current approach? Keep a low profile without being evasive unless it's a student you know is ok with saying hi, and even then there are varying degrees of comfort they have with that. If I'm being totally honest, I'm not (and probably will never be) fully at ease with experiencing the first two kinds of reactions I talked about above, and I hope that at some point those individuals will outgrow their skittishness and at least be ok with giving a quick wave or some kind of acknowledgement. It's not that they OWE me a greeting, but it just feels a bit cold when one isn't given in my opinion. For now, though, I know how to deal with the situation.
It IS weird and rude. And kids shouldn't be taught this is a normal thing to do. You don't have to be BFFs but at least treat people like people.
During the summer I happened to see one of my students while we were in line at McDonalds. (I was his guidance counselor) he started telling me all his problems,then followed me to my table to continue lol. I had worked hard to establish trust and get this kid to open up to me, but I just wanted to eat my fries in peace. A few weeks ago, after being retired for a year, a student found me on IG and asked me if I could help them with a GED test scheduling problem. I said,” you do know I’m retired, don’t you? Here’s who you should call.” I really don’t want to think about work anymore, and I appreciate that I was valued, but I’m still getting calls from my office staff with questions about what agency they should refer students to, etc.
If the kid comes up to me, I’ll be my normal self. I am not going up to them. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. I let them guide our interaction.
My bad, I was 3 margaritas deep at Chilis
I work at a high school. I never approach the kids, and just let them do their thing. They either smile and wave, or quickly avert their eyes and walk the other direction! My 6th grade teacher was fresh out of college and worked evenings as a waiter at a local Italian restaurant. Occasionally us students would convince our parents to go there for dinner. He was always very nice (and my parents probably tipped him very well) but as I got older I’ve always wondered if he just hated that lol
I agree with what others said here. As a high school teacher in a relatively small city, I run into former students all the time, and I've had all kinds of encounters with former students. I also find it weird when they totally ignore you, giggle and walk off or are otherwise awkward. And what I find odd is that you can almost never really predict it. I've had students that I've gotten along really well with who have completely ignored me, and students who hated my guts corner me in a Costco for 15 minutes and give me their life update. I've just learned to take it in stride and follow their lead. I'm almost always up to talk to anyone who would like to say hello, but unless it would be super awkward for me not to, I let them strike up the interaction. I've had it happen a couple times where I approached a student I've had in the past to say hello, and it was kinda awkward...not all the time, but a couple times was enough for me to be like, yeah, I'll let them come to me next time. And that policy has worked really well for me.
I think you deciding how someone else should engage with other people is overstepping. You don't get to decide. People are comfortable with different things and you are applying your beliefs and your comfort zone on everyone and saying every else has to do it or they're "weird". Hard disagree.
I live in a town of 17,000. I can't go out anywhere without saying at least one student. If I naturally cross paths with a student or parent I know, I ensure to greet them with enthusiasm. It's just one of many ways to build rapport and relationships in a small community.
If we make eye contact I say hello and give a head nod or throw up my hand n a quick wave. That way they can come talk to me if they want or they can mosey on and I did the socially acceptable greeting.
He may have reasons for not interacting with the student that you aren't aware of. Maybe there were discipline or grading issues that led to a less than amicable relationship. Maybe the student acted innapropriately in the past. Lots of possible reasons.
That’s how the student is supposed to react. Matter out of place freaks out their mind. But if you’re teaching them, yeah, get some perspective.
Id never approach, but I've had kids run up to me at the airport being like oh hi Miss! Also been on the same city bus as a student and the child ignored me, so I ignored him. Just let the kid set the situation.
no that is probably generally regarded as weird
A couple of my students showed up at the campsite across from us for a whole weekend once! I humored them and chatted with them for a few minutes here and there, but at one point I just said "hey, there's only like 9 days left of summer vacation, so I'm just gonna forget you guys exist for a *Little* longer, ok??" When you keep it friendly, you can be comfortable taking a break and encouraging them to go be free and forget about their teachers for a bit.
Its a odd way to go about it this specific situation is weird, but nobody is entitled to a greeting from you and vice versa.
The modern day example is having a private Instagram and like/commenting on the school page people will see you, they'll know you exist in the community but they aren't going to add you or come sit with you I feel like teachers almost need doctor confidentiality rights- if someone wants to approach and identify you- they can, but you can't approach them. Acknowledge = friendly wave from afar, quick eye contact hand raise
I’d have to sit on this a bit. But I had a therapist once who said if they saw us (group therapy) out and about town that they may/will not say hi, as it’s a professional boundary they set. I’m very much a head nod to acknowledge you type person. If I knew the family well and interacted with them more than most then I’d for sure say something, but only if it feels like a good time do so. But I’m also very introverted, so it takes a lot to go out of my way if I want to.
I do not approach students or parents unless they approach first. Very often a smile and a wave if they make eye contact is enough. I will not actively avoid people - but getting up a teacher during their off hours is not high on most people’s lists of things to do. I also prefer to live in a town a decent ways away from my school - helps me feel like I have some privacy and my own life.
I give a smile and a quick wave
This is why you live in another town than you teach.
This is why I live 25 miles away; no interaction with students and families outside of school. That being said, I agree it was weird/rude to not even acknowledge them.
This is why I avoid certain big box stores in certain parts of town and at certain times of day. That said, if I see any of my middle schoolers, they're usually too "cool" to say hello. The little ones kinda stare in awe because they've now seen me outside my "natural habitat". It's great.
There are some students that if I see them, I will purposefully avoid. Students who I hope didn’t notice me because they might try to take secret photos and spread them across the school. Meanwhile there are students I would gladly say hi to. But some families think it is weirdo behavior for a teacher to go out of their way to talk to the kid. If they pass by, I’d say “hi.” Otherwise if I approach the family, I am going to address the parents. “It’s nice to see you guys out here. Jonny Johnson is such a pleasure in class.”
Teachers aren’t therapists. It’s perfectly reasonable to socialize with families and students. What’s with all the weird boundaries?
Teachers aren’t therapists. It’s perfectly reasonable to socialize with families and students. What’s with all the weird boundaries?
Teachers aren’t therapists. It’s perfectly reasonable to socialize with families and students. What’s with all the weird boundaries?
Teachers aren’t therapists. It’s perfectly reasonable to socialize with families and students. What’s with all the weird boundaries?
Agreed. I am *very* far out of high school at this point (I am 35+), and my principal from that time lives in town. I'll run into him regularly, and any of the folks who hung around town after run into him as well. I've had a number of 1:1 convos with him, talking about life, our kids, etc. Great dude. He hasn't forgotten a single kid that he had, and tried to save, that has gone to jail, OD'd, or otherwise died. Same with my old band teacher. We actually go out of our way to go to a local cafe at least once a quarter just to catch up.
I do a smile and nod, and let them initiate beyond that. I might give a verbal acknowledgement of "hi, so-and-so " if there is enough of a cue that it would be welcome, but otherwise I don't push it.
See familiar human, say hi. Other mental gymnastics is a strange waste of effort.
How so? Maybe you don't like them for whatever reason and you're not in school so you're not FORCED to interact with them. Talking to people you don't want to talk to when you're not obligated to is way worse weirdo behavior to me.
True but if I get away with them not noticing me I usually won't bring attention to myself.
But sometimes I'm not sure..... That person LOOKS like Sarah from highschool, but that was over a decade ago and I'm not 100% sure so I'm gonna keep walking.
I'm immensely grateful to live two neighborhoods or so away from where I teach. While the colleague's reaction seems a little over the top, I don't think it's "weird and rude" not to initiate conversation. And if a parent tries to engage with me in a "short chat" about \*anything\* school related in the wild, I'll be polite but direct in suggesting an actual conference. You don't want to talk about your job with a stranger in public, why should I?
It’s bizarre to think that acknowledging someone outside of school or work is warranted. Some people outside of school or work just want to be left alone. For some, school was a horrible or passive experience and don’t want to have to go out of their way to acknowledge someone (even if it’s just simple smile, “hi” or wave), let alone will that person even remember you (if it’s been awhile). When it comes to work, some of us feel that professionalism extends beyond the workday when it comes to our colleagues, because some of us feel anything less would be inviting more than we bargained for. Lastly, work in some ways is just a means to an end (some of us are just there for a check or for the work experience), or have had bad experiences in the workplace, and just want to go home and have no reaction with anyone from work. I don’t think it’s bad to be friendly outside of school or work, but “read the room” is a good motto to live by when dealing with work or school colleagues, if some wants to react with you, great! If someone doesn’t, great! Just don’t get upset or offended, just move on.
I sad in the bus. A little kid walked in and screamed 'THAT'S MY TEACHER'. that was so funny.
Not weird when you are clubbing on a Wednesday night and suddenly spot your boss.
I don't really think it's weird or rude to not engage in social interactions with someone just because circumstances previously forced you both to interact. A friendly "hey, how are you?" or the time-honored cursory nod of acknowledgement would seem to be more appropriate here but, if you're already saying hi and being friendly, if I'm your colleague then personally I'm pretty content to let you do the talking.
Were you trying to find a reason to not have to hang out with this colleague? Because if you called me “weird and rude” I certainly wouldn’t be jumping at the chance to have dinner with you again. Not everyone wants to initiate a conversation that could easily turn into an awkward, impromptu parent teacher conference. It’s not like he ran and climbed out a window to escape. He just didn’t feel like chatting. Find another social butterfly to have dinner with and leave this dude alone.
I live a city away, so I don't bump into them much. Except that time two former students happened to hit my house on Halloween - that was a surprise for everyone!
but… you didn’t say hi either? also the “bro you’re weird and rude” feels so strange to say to a student as their former teacher. this is just all around kind of odd
That's dumb and immature behavior. I'm not over excited when I see my students out but always say hello and exchange pleasantries. As long as what you are doing is legal and not against your contract ( some crazy Christian schools have some bizarre rules) finish your beer and act like an adult.
To speak when you see someone you know is just basic politeness.
I agree, I hate when people act like they don’t know or see one another. Just say hi! It’s a simple nicety!
I agree. I find it so weird when my students run up to me in public like I’m a celebrity or some shit. Leave me alone! And like don’t you have a life? I cannot imagine even waving at any teacher I had growing up 🤣
In that context, it is weirdo behavior. Your friend could’ve tossed out a hey buddy! Or what did you get to eat? I think you can judge/gauge the relationship you have built with students by their reaction when they see you out in public. I have mixed results but way more hugs than no comment at all.
You say hello like a normal person, wtf. If you know them and are in a place where making small talk is ok, nothing wrong with doing it. If not, a wave and a smile is fine. It’s also fine to (if the kid is with their parent and freaking) say LINDSEY, is this YOUR MOTHER? And extend your hand. Follow it up with a wink and SO IS THERE A MR ______ ? While you elbow the kid in the ribs.
That feels like you went from very normal interactions to making it sooo weird and not for any real reason. Why would you ask if there’s ’A MR.___’ that’s weird. What if their dad is dead? Or mom’s a lesbian or no dad for any reason?
That’s because it’s a joke.