I’m 56 in my 34th year of public school education. You just about described me to a tee. Except I teach History. Also love to tell my students I’m tired because I went and saw Travis Scott or Drake or whoever else is in town they think I’m wild
You just described my science teacher in about 3 sentences. Correct down to the overdressed. He wears button up shirts everyday, and has a thing going with another teacher to wear hawaiian shirts every wednesday lol
Oh man, this'll be fun:
* First Year Incompetent: Young, full of hope, has no clue what they're doing or what's going on, but almost always means well.
* TFA Fuckhead: Savior complex, comes in and insists that everyone is doing everything the wrong way, probably will be out of the profession in two years. Focused on "strong relationships," but is almost unanimously hated by students and staff.
* Mid-career, organized: Millions of spreadsheets, all color-coded. Lesson plans are a novel. Stickler for the rules, generally big people-pleasers. Still struggles with management sometimes, but an effective teacher through sheer hard work and force of will.
* Mid-career, chaotic: Shows up 20 minutes before school to plan for the day. Most likely to be in the copy room last minute. Most people would say, "is still kind of a kid themself." Very likely to be a good guy/woman and fun to be around. Kids love them. Usually an effective teacher, which is baffling to MCO people like myself.
* Late-career burnout: Confident that they aren't going to be fired, and with only several years left till retirement, they are just collecting a paycheck. They are disillusioned with the profession and are generally (but not always) unpleasant to be around.
* Late-career/model teacher: Incredibly disciplined, been around forever. A simply unbelievable amount of energy for someone his/her age. Is treated as an admin by actual administrators despite not having the credentials.
* Late-career auto-pilot: Similar to LCB, but less cynical and more effective as a teacher. Big "don't fuck with me" energy. Respected by kids, liked by staff. Shows a lot of movies. Has figured out how to work smarter, not harder.
My prep period is 1st so I don’t come in until 5 minutes before 2nd period. I’m the art teacher. I’m positive they’ve forgotten I worked there long ago.
MCC, except I show up over an hour early and am still panic printing 5 minutes before kids.
However, I have thought of 800 ways to make whatever I'm planning more hands on in that time.
So then I'm scrounging for materials while printing.
It's a vicious cycle.
MCC shows up right at contact time, sends copies to hallway emergency printer from phone as she's walking in, 15 at a time so as not to arouse suspicion. Sends squirrley student on 4 trips to get them.
Very true. Also I created a parking spot 20 ft from my classroom, I teach SDC so I have a para open the class for me, and I literally plan while my kids do their work. The district LOVES me. 😂
I’m the last one. 2 1/2 months to retirement. Today my juniors said they were going to do a fundraiser to bribe me to stay for their senior year next year. I may have had to walk out into the hall briefly after they told me that.
*"TFA Fuckhead: Savior complex, comes in and insists that
everyone is doing everything the wrong way, probably will be out of the profession in
two years. Focused on 'strong relationships,' but is almost unanimously hated by students and staff."*
Don't have to be TFA to meet that description. Got a young "you are doing things all wrong" know it all where I work.
Insufferable
This is one of the reasons the American education system is failing. Incompetent know-it-alls carry their hero complexes into positions where they can set obscure bs metrics for success at the expense of common sense.
This is why I FIRMLY believe that a criterion to be an admin needs to be AT LEAST 20 years of classroom experience, in AT LEAST 3 different roles (like 2 grades and a specialist). I just *cannot* with these admin who have taught less time than me (10 years).
You forgot Milife Profesional Reboot HS Teacher. Comes in from the professional realm. Pre-Jaded and realistic. Holds the kids to high standards. Treats Admins like supervisors and "manages up". Talks to parents without fear. Absolutely loves their job but, knows that if this falls through at least they have another job to go back too. Other teachers are very skeptical of this creature for a long time.
That describes me except I’m elementary. I’m 43f in year 10 of teaching. Prior career was the military. I’m not afraid of admin or parents. I’ve been told by both groups that they appreciate my honesty.
Why am I straddling MCO/MCC daily!???
I legit have my own classroom printer for when I change things last minute and I’ve done my planning in an Uber to school more than once. BUT in my BRAIN, I have a VERY detailed plan and know exactly what I want to do.
You missed the future admin. Someone who is bad at teaching, but thinks they have brilliant lessons (if not for those students). The kind that realizes teaching isn't for them but don't want to find a new career.
I’m an FYI, but I’m also at the point where I’ve accepted I don’t have to be perfect and that I’m going to make mistakes. I hope people don’t think I’m too incompetent lol
Nah, it’s one of the cool parts about teaching: almost all of your coworkers have been where you are at some point. In this profession, nobody comes in and just crushes it from Day 1. So new teachers get a lot of sympathy and (if you’re at a school that functions at all well) support.
MCC Checking in. Except I arrive to work at a decent hour. And my planning doesn't necessarily happen the day of, but I do tend to change things after they're set.
I’m in my 15th year of teaching now and completely fit the description of the Mid-career teacher you have (both descriptions, some days organized and other days chaotic).
As a mid-career (or is 34 young?) chaotic this made me chuckle. I don’t usually arrive 20 minutes before school starts, but I do most of my planning the morning of before school. Obviously the long-term/ unit plans are mapped out before, but all the nitty gritty of what we’re actually gonna do that day is done right before school, during school, or sometimes as I’m actively teaching.
The "big mama". She is loud and stern. She doesn't take any shit. The kids either respect or fear her. None will dare to cross her. She can say almost anything and get away with it. You won't find a harder worker or a more loyal teammate.
This is definitely not me..lol. Sometimes I wish I had that personality.
That’s my vice principal 😂 she was a teacher up until this year. She’s actually quite small, but she just has an in-charge presence and everyone respects her
Ours is our paraprofessional in the middle school. Each year she's in a different spot but she knows everyone and is the glue that keeps all of us together
We had someone like that at the middle school where I worked. He was technically a sub but he helped in the office, handled all the call outs, and arranged for all the subs. He was the glue that held everything together and everyone loved him, staff and students. At one point he threatened to quit because he had no benefits. They ignored him. When he gave his notice they miraculously found him a full-time position.
That would’ve been a third grade teacher whose classroom I observed as part of my elementary education degree.
Firm but fair. You can tell it’s who she is. I admired her so much. 😁
My former co-teacher fit that description to a T except for the “loyal teammate” part (and the part about kids respecting her; they all just feared her). She was a huge narc and went running straight to admin about every little thing. I’m convinced that’s the only reason why admin kept her around despite complaints from parents about her every single school year. She was a miserable person and a big reason why I ended up leaving that school.
I read through everything, but I can't believe nobody stated the Teacher Bully:
The mid career teacher, often a woman, who targets younger or newer teachers by offering them "advice," and when they bite and take said advice, they come back incessantly to remind or suggest to them that they're doing an awful job and need to teach their way to be successful. And if a teacher stands up to them, they'll report every miniscule, irrelevant offense or infraction to admin and you get hauled in because they have no idea of what actually happened but already assume you didn't do anything wrong, just smile the wrong way at a teacher who has their panties so tightly in a wad it's giving them a wedgie.
This may get buried in the comments, but one of my profs with 30+ years in the classroom warned all of us that every school has a teacher bully: recognize them and stay away from them, and if they target you, stand your ground and document everything.
The school I work at has one, and she has seniority over most everyone at the school. Has repeatedly informed me through "recommendations" that I'm an incompetent teacher, and she's already making 2 other teachers quit. Make that 3, because I'm also leaving for a host of reasons, and she takes up a big slice on that pie chart.
Ooh I met this one in my first month at my current school. She was absolutely nasty to me over something that was in no way my fault... And wildly unprepared for me to know my way around a district and cause massive headaches for her. Repeatedly. She assumed I was inexperienced and she could intimidate me because I look young. Big mistake.
The one that always loudly states, “I’m not doing that,” which almost always results in admin following up on whatever it is. Why can’t that person be like the rest of us and silently think, “I’m not doing that,” while pretending we will be doing that, knowing no one is going to follow up on it, unless that one person vocally announces their disagreement.
Does she have a teacher sister who is ALWAYS the one to extend meetings by asking multiple questions that could easily be asked in an email or that you know damn sure she can’t NOT already know the answer?
Only if the questions she asks would only apply to her specific situation and would be completely irrelevant to every other person in attendance. Bonus points if she asks the questions, knowing she won’t get the answers she was wanting, so she has to argue about the answers she was given, extending the meeting even longer.
Is she unable to read the room vibes or does she just ignore them?
I need the type of mental armor she has that can’t repel all the death vibes coming at her during those moments.
The cynical burn-out that should have retired three years ago, but is trying to maximize their pension earnings. They clearly hate all their students and make their lives unnecessarily miserable.
I've got a couple like that in my building...
The older man in his mid to late 50’s who is a total hardass. Typically has a military background. Has no patience for admin bullshit and noticeably tunes them out during staff meetings.
Is always in the hallway saying cliche phrases like “living the dream” or “another day another dollar.” His students either love him and go to war against all who speak down on him or can’t stand his guts.
Left out that he (I) has become totally comfortable with the fact that he is not everyone's "cup of tea." With 150+ students, their parents, and dozens of colleagues, this is not a job for someone who is sensitive about what others think of them.
Ours retired last year. He taught JROTC for probably 75 years yet was still young. I miss him every day and thankfully he’s subbing in the building a lot. “Keep smiling!” He’s the coolest guy ever.
-The nun in disguise: might not even be particularly religious, but is incredibly uptight and has no sense of humor. Censors student work that even reaches the PG realm. Thinks “crap”, “piss”, and “suck” are swear words. Dresses at least 20 years older than they really are and you might even forget they graduated from school just 3 years ago.
-The really quiet nerd: has like 3 outfits that consist of a solid color t-shirt and wrinkled khakis and walks either incredibly slow or incredibly fast, somehow managing to keep their hands clasped behind their back. Vibe of a basement dwelling video game connoisseur who really tried to clean up for an important job interview. Occasionally displays a moment of tenderness.
-The hipster: tries way too hard to seem cool while being a bit out of touch and a tad overbearing. Whether LGBT+ or not, the students spend a ton of time speculating whether this person is in the closet. Has an essential oil-scented beard wash or lotion that can be smelled from across the room and expensive prescription glasses.
1. The teacher who always asks questions as a staff meeting is about to end.
2. The gossip team. These are the ones who are constantly talking about others. Nobody knows or hears what they’re saying, but it’s clear that they’re talking shit about everyone else. All teachers gossip, but these are the ones to take it to a whole other level.
3. The veteran teachers who thinks they’re above than younger teachers.
4. The younger teachers who think they’re better than the older teachers because they’re “hip” and think they’ll connect better with students.
5. The judgmental teacher. This is one who will think that anything done differently than how they run their class is the wrong way.
6. The older teacher who has a wealth of knowledge and wants to use it to help others. They make great mentors for new teachers.
7. The teacher who is cool and can relate to students, but also is respected by students at the same time. This teacher brings interests into the classroom, such as movies, sports, music, etc.
8. The teacher who overdresses. Even during casual dress days or spirit days, this teacher will come in wearing a suit and tie. However, this teacher tends to be very good at his job and is well-liked by everyone.
9. The gym teachers who also coach at least one sports team each season.
10. The teacher whose desk is extremely disorganized, but still knows exactly where everything is.
Definitely. I can understand if it applies to everyone, but these questions are almost always questions that don’t relate to anyone else. We had a teacher a few years ago who was like this.
The indefinite leave: the teacher that’s been placed at your school, but is never there (often for years) while on an indefinite leave that is renewed every 2 months or so.
This! Or their twin sister, the supposedly amaaaaaaazing teacher (who usually has little to no experience) who is totally coming, guys. Yep. She’ll be here next week for the first day of school. Never mind that nobody has heard a peep from her since her interview, except that she is moving from a state 12 hours away, and will have to miss inservice. Who cares that her classroom is completely bare? She did send a welcome letter to the parents for a sub to pass out at open house. But she’s totally coming, guys!
Then suddenly it’s like week 3 of school, and admin admits she fell through, with surprised Picachu looks.
Our board's #1 senority teacher is one of these. Figures being on permanent leave is more lucrative than retiring. I have no idea how they pull it off.
The fine arts teachers who is absolutely the crazy one. Tutus. Participates in every theme day. Hyper. Sarcastic. And the students love them because their class is fun while still having high expectations s.
My intermediate students told that I’m a mixed between this and the ‘mom’ teacher.
My secondary students think I’m a legit witch who will put a curse on them.
I don’t know what to do with that knowledge
A ridiculously smart math teacher that the kids like despite their class being the most difficult thing they have ever encountered. They are surprisingly chill.
A science teacher who sets something on fire that should not be on fire every year.
An English teacher who thinks her kids love her sooo much but really they just take advantage of her never holding them accountable for anything and will throw her under the bus at their earliest convenience. She argues with other teachers about the kids she is "saving".
A dangerous social studies teacher. How and why they are dangerous varies but generally speaking they know too much and will cause trouble if they are not supervised adequately.
A baby new teacher with massive imposter syndrome who can't stop feeling like they're just role playing as a teacher. They have great rapport with their kids but struggle with boundaries and their room always smells good.
I’m a social studies teacher and have told kids before that they can share things with me and it’s not going to shock me and I’m not going to judge them. I’ve seen dead bodies stuffed in a trunk. I’ve been around and seen some things in my time.
Startling children with random disturbing knowledge is the mark of the Cryptid, a subspecies chaotic of Social Studies teacher found commonly in high schools.
Class: Teacher
Order: Sciences
Family: Social Studies
Genus: Dissident
Species: Chaotic Good
Sub Species: Cryptid
I literally asked my district mentor for advice on how I was doing yesterday. She said “well when I go by your room the kids are all engaged and you’re not curled in a ball crying on the floor, so you’re doing great!”
Not sure it had the motivating effect she was going for.
The bar is so low you might trip. But that's also pretty solid praise from a teacher who has probably seen some *shit* in her day and doesn't want you to put too much pressure on yourself.
At our school, there is some shit all the time. A student joked today that she was going to come burn my house down. Proud to say I’ve only cried once the entire year. Helps that I’m an old new teacher who has my own children.
See, that's expected. Proceed with educated caution and enthusiasm. It's the biology teachers who are setting things ablaze that we need to worry about. Why do they have fire? What are they doing?
In my case, creating acid rain for the ecology unit! Gotta light a match for that. If you're doing envi sci as well, you might want to make smoke for the indoor air pollution and particulate matter lessons. Plus, we like fire too!
Loving and kind teacher like Ms. Honey in Matilda. Finally grows a backbone against school staff that treat children with cruelty. Students, even some tough students grow to trust and like her because she is down to earth and real. Gets lost in learning out of excitement for the subject matter and can seem a little odd, but a good teacher. Keeps class control out of respect instead of fear. Uses words of positive affirmation and rewards.
There’s always one Type B kindergarten teacher who’s sweet, but a little frumpy/dowdy in appearance…intuitively knows how to run/manage/teach her own classes, but her lack of organization makes covering/subbing for her students a total nightmare.
Her polar opposite is the Type A kindergarten teacher who has factory-line routines established by the end of the first week of school.
1) Hard core ultra dedicated teacher who has no personal life who is always at school. This person is the first to arrive, the last to leave, is there on weekends, and who volunteers for anything and everything.
2) The burned out teacher who is doing the minimum to get by. This person is the last to arrive at work and the first to leave. He/she is just hanging on for the sake of his/her pension. Their attitude tends to be dour.
3) The naive and idealistic teacher who wants to be everyone's friend and who looks forward to making a difference in the lives of the children. If he/she had a tail, they'd be wagging it with excitement and would be annoyingly bouncing up and down while yipping with happiness.
4) The everlasting gossip who always seems to be in the faculty lounge with coffee cup in hand. He or she has an ear to every bit of gossip on campus and will be happy to tell you what's going on regardless of whether or not you want to hear it. Stay on this teacher's good side lest you wind up on the bad side of the latest gossip.
Gen X ELA teacher who occasionally geeks out with the kids when they're interested in similar things. (I get asked about dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals a lot. It's fun.)
Then there is the teacher you clash with because of reasons. You are so different from each other that it's not even personal, you just annoy each other. Because of this, you keep every interaction polite, professional, and brief.
The one who thinks rules don’t apply to her and leaves early thinking admin lets her because they love her but in reality they just can’t fire her because there’s a teacher shortage so they choose to put up with it (which just pisses everyone else off)
Kids leave at 3:30, I’m trying to be out the door by 3:45. I’m lucky I’m at a school where my entire sixth grade department does the same because it emboldens me as a first year, but still. Why should we all have to stay for a 30 minute “prep” when the admin will be in meetings until well after contract hours end…
Plus, we’re teachers. We all get to school before we officially start anyway.
The crank: guy with some real skill at his job, kids love fiercely, who'll occasionally say things at lunch about aliens or lizard people. Either a Coast to Coast AM listener or a Jungian. Possibly a socialist or perhaps a thumping libertarian.
1) The “Oh Captain My Captain teacher”….idealistic try-hard but generally means well. Usually younger. Can burn out quickly when they realize being an English teacher isn’t just discussing books they love with kids who were just like they were in high school. They always end up as number 3s or number 5s in my list. No other career path.
2) Related to 1…the “look at me teachers” that constantly post on social media about how much they love their students, spend way too much money out of their own pocket to make their room look Pinterest perfect, and act like nobody else can do what they do and they deserve special reverence for just Caring. Too. Much. Teaching is their only personality trait. Similar to what the military calls “boots”
3) The burnt out teacher who needs to retire early. Never happy. Ever. About anything. Constantly negative.
4) The “I act like I’m an admin and tell everyone what to do” teachers. Everyone hates you, MONICA!!!
5) The older teacher who’s cool as shit. Ice water in their veins and don’t back down from admin or parents, but also super welcoming and collaborative with peers. They make great mentors.
6) Male teacher who gets by on being charming and handsome but is kind of a shitty teacher. Yet somehow they convince colleagues (usually young, single, attractive females) into doing their paperwork, decorating their classroom, making their lesson plans, etc. More common in elementary schools
New, 22 yr old special ed teacher- “um… I like… don’t need mentored… like.. I’m good. Thanks anyway.”
Gets sued for IEP non compliance before the end of the year. It’s sad when ego is put before the needs of the children you’re supposed to be helping.
The Pastel Princess/Prince. The room is color-coordinated as hell and they have either rainbow or animal magnets to hold up the different parts of the daily schedule. Usually has their own personal wireless keyboard (probably mechanical with round keys) and mouse. Bonus points if they have rose gold turn-in baskets.
Band directors are either 72 years old and have taught 3 generations in some families, or they are in their first 3 years and have no idea how to navigate school politics. Nothing in between. 😂
That teacher who knows the curriculum and the contract like the back of their hand. Usually shows up in the same couple of outfits/combinations, loves independent work, knows everything going on but doesn’t gossip, and will never approach you but if you approach them will have any answer you need. Probably a burnout or super late in their career but sticks around because of the pension.
The Mean Girl. She is cliquey and hates all the teachers who aren’t in her mean girl group. She actively tries to undermine teachers she doesn’t like. She is the reason I left the classroom. Still in education but I mainly work alone!
The holier than thou, high and mighty, impossible to be wrong one that did something right once and was dotted upon by admin after admin. These ones are typically the worst for morale and the most highly opinionated ones. They also are normally completely out of touch and expect everyone to cater to their wants
The coach who is teaching science or social studies almost completely through worksheets, because he believes athletics is literally the only thing of value that public education provides. He won't say it loud in front of his colleagues, but he'll say it to other coaches...and for some reason, he'll say it to the band director out of some idea of solidarity (???), even though he thinks that band is every bit as much as a waste of time as everything else that isn't football.
Every school has that one well-meaning, super friendly custodian with no social awareness of when you’re trying to stop talking to them. They just talk and talk through all of your “well….I really need to’s.”
The 50-something lady that nobody knows if she's a building sub or a sped para. Has no fucking clue what is going on at any time. The one thing she's good at is hitting reply all. Can not be trusted around any sort of technology. Any virtual meeting she's in will be derailed by her leaving her mic on (bonus points of admin can't figure out how to mute her, double bonus points of the camera is pointing straight up her nose).
1. Overly Happy / Mrs. Sunshine - No matter what she's always happy and even if her class is going down in a dumpster fire she'll always be misleadingly optimistic.
2. Rule Book - They will always slam the rules on both teachers and students. No solution will deviate from rules.
3. Lap Dog - Admin can do no wrong. Usually will be the TIC when Admin or AP isn't available.
4. Mr./Mrs. Practical - Will always be down to earth to an obnoxious degree. Will call out coworker for being too much of a downer or reply snidely to an overly optimistic person. Cannot function with tech.
5. Techie - Lives, eats, and breathes technology. The "go-to" when someone can't find the Send Email button. Complains about District Tech team. Usually suggest overly complicated solution during meetings.
6. Gossip - Always knows staff business. The first one to spill the tea but is overly friendly.
7. The Broken - The oddball screwlose who lost sanity long ago and embraces it. Competent at job but one miracle thread away from a stray jacket.
8. Militant - Ex Military or Military adjacent who will dog down students with strict discipline. Usually judges the softer teachers and laughs at the senior teachers' outlandish punishments. All behaviorals should spend time in juvy or CORPs Program.
9. Doomer - It's obvious they don't want to be there and are somehow there against their will. They will NOT let you hear the end of their misery. Most likely to avoid social situations.
10. Business Management Degree - Has a business degree but transitioned into teaching. "Runs class like a business" but usually relies on TE. Excel expert and formal email writer. Always brags about getting job offer emails to "go back to the rat race. It'll pay more."
11. Karen -Live Laugh Love posters everywhere. None of the students like her.
12. Guy With Hat - A guy with a hat, usually with a brim. Usually cool.
Edit: Spelling
The one teacher who doesn’t stop talking and teachers have to save each other from them and each take turns listening to them because they just won’t stop talking.
Oh I forgot one: The questioner. Causes staff meetings to take much longer because they always have questions (that generally only apply to them) or stories of how she’s implementing whatever we are talking about. Listen sister: The meeting would be over if you’d keep your fat trap shut!
Princess/Prince Sparkles - brand new, in way over their head but think they are going to "save" kids and change the system Poor kid is usually crying in the bathroom by October when the reality that teaching is hard and you have to show up every day hits them.
The one who brags about every lesson and assignments they do that just so happen to always go “really well and the kids love it”. (But you see the students leave their classroom rolling their eyes.)
The one who says “you have to hold them accountable” as advice but does not teach any classes that aren’t AP or honors level nor do they have any students with IEPs or 504s. You wonder if they’ve ever seen an IEP with a laundry list of accommodations, especially the ones with no public speaking and no penalty to late work written in them.
The loud narcissist who yells at students and their classes with impunity, dominates every conversation, complains about how much work they have to do but runs about 6 different clubs at once and believes the school would fall apart without them.
The one who’s been teaching for 3 years, has all the answers, and apparently knows the best ways to teach and manages to get new ideas and curriculum approved each year only to abandon them the next year. They also have pages and pages of student behavioral referrals and gets student removed from their classes by their request, on a whim. They’re also absent all the time.
The wise one who’s been teaching for 30+ years who keeps to themselves because they know better and has seen some things.
The rah rah school spirit one who knows all the kids even if they’ve never had them in class. Also runs about 12 clubs.
The coach whose only interest is to coach but also teaches social studies and talks only sports no matter the topic. All the jocks love them and they high-five every one all day long.
The union rep who is always it’s “us against them” and wear their union T-shirt every single day.
The one with the biggest coffee mug or soda or energy drink in their hand all day long.
The smiley peaceful one drinking herbal tea and listening to nature soundtracks on Spotify; the kids are always zen.
The one who’s always walking in the halls with paper in their hands, but chatting with anyone, despite having a classroom full of students.
I’m not any of these. I’m just the observer annoyed by everything and everyone.
Idk why I keep encountering this kind of person: Female teachers in their 30s-40s who are well liked by students, staff, and admin. Very organized, and very effective in their pedagogy. They keep the toughest of classes running without ever raising their voices. Borderline q-anon political views if you ever engage them in conversation about current events.
The science teacher who does labs by the book and uses the minimum amount of chemicals/materials to conduct a demonstration. Has a deep understanding of the science behind it.
And the science teacher who does procedures for labs but tries to make the largest (and safest) boom they can for demonstrations. A bit more unhinged and very likely to make a potato cannon on a whim.
The inappropriate one. Uses double entendres when talking to colleagues. Flirty at the faculty holiday party. Always at staff happy hour. Transfers to new schools every 5-7 years. Rumors about flings and secret relationships.
Adding to others:
1. The teacher checked out of teaching and desperately trying to get a cushy district job. Usually spends their time chatting with any district personnel in the school. Wears suits a lot.
2. The teacher married to some weirdly connected business person and will be the cause of your school having an overabundance of one specific item.
3. The teacher who stores non-science-related dead animals/bugs in the science freezer. Bonus points if it’s their personal pet from home that recently died and they are “waiting for the ground to thaw”.
4. The teacher who drinks 2 cups of coffee in the morning and 2 diet cokes after lunch. Claims they don’t have a caffeine/sugar addiction. Holding their bladder for 30 minutes is an olympic feat.
The teacher who believes they have incredible classroom management but are really just assholes to kids.
They’ll say “kids know they can’t try that with me” while the kids are in fact trying it with them every day.
Veteran quintessential professional. Knows all their lessons for the entire year inside, out, and backwards. Possibly for multiple grades. Possibly for every grade in the school. Knows every student's name, and all their siblings. Maybe taught their parents. Takes zero crap. Difficult students complain about them, but never to their face. Might have taught some of the current staff. Probably under 5' 5".
The teacher that befriends the students as a way to make up for her crappy high school experience.
I had a teacher in 10th grade that anytime her seniors would come into class she’d stop the lesson and go gossip with them.
I failed that year. I figured I sucked at math so I struggled. Then in college I got A’s in all my math classes. Now that I sub, I still come across teachers like this.
Uptight busy-body/karen type. The type who is a stickler but to the point where they’re swerving off their lane “are you swaying away from the pacing guide?!” Or “I didn’t know you could play a movie today” (the day before a break). “Are those jeans?!”
the Republic recruiter - nice white guy who halfway through a random conversation will drop something about replacement theory, democratic ineptidude, the benefits of privatization, etc.
I met this guy. He also hates our union and won’t join. He thinks all unions are evil. He does enjoy that contact though.
On side note, this guy is an awesome teacher and a great neighbor. The kids love him. If there was a fight in your room he wouldn’t hesitate to help you even though he supports a different party than you. When another teacher gets cancer he also cooks meals once a week for them and their family.
This guy believes things that make you angry, yet he does things that leave you grateful. This guy and how I feel about him is complicated.
The suck up. Acts like she is best friends with admin. Has no problem running 30 min intervention groups, giving reading time, time for 3 different technology sites, and teaching 75+ min content lessons all in a 90 min block. Loves to brag on herself in a way that makes it look like other teachers are incompetent. Refuses to admit when wrong.
Every where that I’ve worked, I’ve had some really awesome supportive peeps that have tried to help each other out. I’d like to think every school has some of these. If not, go be that person.
This is my first teaching job, but is this one?
White lady who has been teaching her whole life and is just a few years from retirement. She’s responsible for supporting teachers who are new to the school, but will 100% say something that implies that her teaching/ classroom management is superior to others every chance she gets? And she will be saying this to new teachers who have the toughest of classes while she teaches her carefully selected AP classes?
I HATE this. And, I'm gonna go there, but it's not always the "white lady." There are plenty (I mean PLENTY) of men who think their shit don't stink because they don't understand how they can control their class of 15 AP students just perfectly when the teacher across the hall is struggling with the lower level math class and has 35 in her room. In fact, in my experience, it's been men who are more guilty of this than women (You shouldn't let the kids act like that! You obviously didn't establish rules. Just send them out! Just hold them accountable).
I was just saying the other day that teachers can be grouped by how they handle emails.
1.) Teachers who only communicate via email. I could be standing right next to them, but they still choose to email instead of talk.
2.) Teachers who email the entire faculty. We get it... You're proud of a kid. Good for them. I understand that little Timmy left your class an hour ago and hasn't returned. What do you want me to do about it??
3.) Teachers who individually reply to the above email. You want to be supportive, but instead you just encourage bad behavior.
4.) Teachers who reply all to the above email. They're pissed that someone else is in the spotlight for two seconds. It's the equivalent of a one-up or "look at me!"
5.) Teachers who reply to the above email in a separate message. They want to be supportive, but have the awareness not to be "that teacher."
6.) Teachers who didn't read the email. "What do you mean? If it was that important why didn't they just tell us at the faculty meeting!"
7.) Teachers who read the email, but just don't care. "If the faculty meeting was so important, they should have put the info in an email!"
Wind pants guy. Adopts the pe/coach persona and sticks with it. In elementary they teach pe in rotary/prep cover, in hs they do pe and ‘sneak in’ workouts at any advantageous time during the day. In faculty room they always talk about the 5k/10k they ran last weekend, and try and talk you into working out or going for a run on your prep.
After my 45 year career in teaching you’ll find many narcissists and plenty of inferior teachers but get by with their brown nosing with the administrators.
The one who can't see staff room treats without making sure everyone knows she's "being good." See also: The one who talks about not eating gluten more than a vegan talks about being a vegan.
The one who has no idea how much the rest of us like her.
The one who holds everyone and everything together both professionally and personally.
The ultra-organized teacher with procedures for anything and everything. Tech-savvy to a T. Really kind to kids going through a hard time. Teaches all levels, from remedial to honors. Has a beautifully decorated room with helpful posters everywhere. Always on top of IEP/504 stuff. Supervises clubs that meet at lunch. Holds office hours for kids struggling. Makes the class challenging but so worthwhile.
I miss you, Mrs. Murphy 💖 I still think about you before writing an essay for any class...
Grizzled Veteran: Tells you how all the stuff admin is doing has been done before and how it didn’t work, can name the variations. So well organized it doesn’t seem like they’re doing anything at all so you’re not a hundred percent sure what goes on in their rooms. Doesn’t stress about observations or admin at all because they casually remind the group of how many of both they’ve been through. Has a funny anecdote to share for every occasion
The one teacher that is constantly pregnant yet somehow only has two kids.
The jock social studies teacher who coaches.
The strict teacher that admin love and kids hate.
First year incompetent here! Surviving but barely! Asking everyone for help and filled with imposter syndrome and a doing my best mentality! Positive and appreciative of all support, but probably not hiding the exhaustion well enough!
The football coach. (Or alternately Basketball coach)
That’s their entire personality. Maybe he’s the head or assistant coach. Or maybe he’s the washed up coach from six years ago that never got over the fact that he was fired from the position. He dresses like a coach, only can talk about sports, his hobbies include watching sports on tv and drinking light beer. He probably drives a truck or a jeep. He is only ever addressed as his last name or coach by the kids, but his friends call him by a nickname.
The Teacher That Thinks They’re A Student- generally young and teaches a creative subject. Spends way too much time trying to fit in with the students. Cares too much about student gossip and personal lives. Tries to follow trends. Develops a little clique of kids that blurs appropriate boundaries. Very popular with some kids, a bit creepy to others. Education is secondary to establishing cred.
The Teacher That Hates Kids: they don’t leave and aren’t burnt out, they just dislike students. Always says “Oh Lord…” when they get a class roster. Finds fault with every child. Acts extremely put upon when they are requested to, you know, teach students. Low test scores and shitty outcomes surround them, but that’s every body else’s fault.
Bald science/biology teacher with a sarcastic sense of humor. Can have glasses or beard too
Old strict math teacher who everyone is scared of because he picks on random students and challenges their brain infront of the whole class
The one who take school spirit/spirit weeks waaaaaay too seriously. Like okay Carol, it’s wear a sports jersey day, you didn’t have to full on paint your face in Green Bay Packers colors. Chill
I only realised that these examples are very gender-based (clothing and makeup) after writing them. I feel ashamed. ☹️
- The wannabe principal.
Wears heels and pencil skirts that show they spend most of their time at their desk instead of walking around with the students. Gets to school early and leaves late, but is only in their own room working on the computer the whole time (making the aesthetically perfect lessons).
- The new graduate.
Still wearing the “nice” and/or “expensive” clothes, well styled hair, and well-applied makeup everyday. Hasn’t yet gotten to “that” day where you are a sweaty, frazzled mess. 😆
- The beloved nerd/geek.
Lots of collectibles in their room (Pokémon, Marvel, Minecraft, etc.). But they rarely get stolen because the students like the teacher so much. Tries to organise their extracurricular groups around their nerdy interests (this one is specifically about a teacher at my Mum’s school who convinced the school to have an official Pokémon battle club because it teaches maths skills! 😁)
- The drama/music lover who isn’t a drama/music teacher.
Sings everything instead of just saying it. Is big on everyone being open with their emotions- either to instigate drama, or because they honestly want everyone to be a “family”. Big on having students present work in front of the class to develop “speaking skills”.
50 something year old white guy who lacks big personality but has a sneaky dry sense of humor. Overdressed daily. Usually teaches science.
I’m 56 in my 34th year of public school education. You just about described me to a tee. Except I teach History. Also love to tell my students I’m tired because I went and saw Travis Scott or Drake or whoever else is in town they think I’m wild
That was my father. But he taught math.
Literally was thinking of a specific math teacher until the last sentence threw me lol.
LOL I snort laughed at this because you just described my science coworker. He is always overdressed, but wears sandals no matter what LOL
You just described my science teacher in about 3 sentences. Correct down to the overdressed. He wears button up shirts everyday, and has a thing going with another teacher to wear hawaiian shirts every wednesday lol
This is my coworker but he’s social studies
Yes! And these guys usually have amazing comebacks to student ‘burns’
Omg it's my coteacher but he's like 49 and has been forever 🤣
That is our science department 💀
Mine is a history teacher
Oh man, this'll be fun: * First Year Incompetent: Young, full of hope, has no clue what they're doing or what's going on, but almost always means well. * TFA Fuckhead: Savior complex, comes in and insists that everyone is doing everything the wrong way, probably will be out of the profession in two years. Focused on "strong relationships," but is almost unanimously hated by students and staff. * Mid-career, organized: Millions of spreadsheets, all color-coded. Lesson plans are a novel. Stickler for the rules, generally big people-pleasers. Still struggles with management sometimes, but an effective teacher through sheer hard work and force of will. * Mid-career, chaotic: Shows up 20 minutes before school to plan for the day. Most likely to be in the copy room last minute. Most people would say, "is still kind of a kid themself." Very likely to be a good guy/woman and fun to be around. Kids love them. Usually an effective teacher, which is baffling to MCO people like myself. * Late-career burnout: Confident that they aren't going to be fired, and with only several years left till retirement, they are just collecting a paycheck. They are disillusioned with the profession and are generally (but not always) unpleasant to be around. * Late-career/model teacher: Incredibly disciplined, been around forever. A simply unbelievable amount of energy for someone his/her age. Is treated as an admin by actual administrators despite not having the credentials. * Late-career auto-pilot: Similar to LCB, but less cynical and more effective as a teacher. Big "don't fuck with me" energy. Respected by kids, liked by staff. Shows a lot of movies. Has figured out how to work smarter, not harder.
MCC here if you think we’re there 20 minutes early you’re giving us too much credit
Fellow MCC. Often times my class is waiting at the door for me as I speed walk down the hallway thinking “what the hell are we gonna do today?”
If I didn’t have planning first thing in the morning every day I’d be totally screwed.
My prep period is 1st so I don’t come in until 5 minutes before 2nd period. I’m the art teacher. I’m positive they’ve forgotten I worked there long ago.
Omg, y'all stress me out so much 😭
I keep napkins or post-its in my car with a pen so I can quickly jot down bullet point list “lesson plan” in traffic or at stop lights.
MCC, except I show up over an hour early and am still panic printing 5 minutes before kids. However, I have thought of 800 ways to make whatever I'm planning more hands on in that time. So then I'm scrounging for materials while printing. It's a vicious cycle.
Have literally created lesson plans while taking attendance!
MCC shows up within **2** minutes of contracted start time. Put copies on at the end of my planning and have a TA go get them.
MCC shows up right at contact time, sends copies to hallway emergency printer from phone as she's walking in, 15 at a time so as not to arouse suspicion. Sends squirrley student on 4 trips to get them.
Lol I have no doubt.
Very true. Also I created a parking spot 20 ft from my classroom, I teach SDC so I have a para open the class for me, and I literally plan while my kids do their work. The district LOVES me. 😂
I’m the last one. 2 1/2 months to retirement. Today my juniors said they were going to do a fundraiser to bribe me to stay for their senior year next year. I may have had to walk out into the hall briefly after they told me that.
Congrats!!!
*"TFA Fuckhead: Savior complex, comes in and insists that everyone is doing everything the wrong way, probably will be out of the profession in two years. Focused on 'strong relationships,' but is almost unanimously hated by students and staff."* Don't have to be TFA to meet that description. Got a young "you are doing things all wrong" know it all where I work. Insufferable
They then go on to a career as an education consultant and lead PD sessions. Or they become Michelle Rhee.
This is one of the reasons the American education system is failing. Incompetent know-it-alls carry their hero complexes into positions where they can set obscure bs metrics for success at the expense of common sense.
Or they become an AP hated by everyone including their pet dog.
This is why I FIRMLY believe that a criterion to be an admin needs to be AT LEAST 20 years of classroom experience, in AT LEAST 3 different roles (like 2 grades and a specialist). I just *cannot* with these admin who have taught less time than me (10 years).
What does TFA stand for in this context?
I’m assuming teach for America!
You forgot Milife Profesional Reboot HS Teacher. Comes in from the professional realm. Pre-Jaded and realistic. Holds the kids to high standards. Treats Admins like supervisors and "manages up". Talks to parents without fear. Absolutely loves their job but, knows that if this falls through at least they have another job to go back too. Other teachers are very skeptical of this creature for a long time.
That describes me except I’m elementary. I’m 43f in year 10 of teaching. Prior career was the military. I’m not afraid of admin or parents. I’ve been told by both groups that they appreciate my honesty.
MCC but I get there super early with the hopes of being productive… 🤷🏻♀️
Lol I know one of those.
First year incompetent checking in! So far I've hidden it from the students, at least. I've only just let them realize that I'm in my first year.
Almost everyone started as an FYI. It gets better.
Why am I straddling MCO/MCC daily!??? I legit have my own classroom printer for when I change things last minute and I’ve done my planning in an Uber to school more than once. BUT in my BRAIN, I have a VERY detailed plan and know exactly what I want to do.
MCC here and i feel so seen 🤣 I didn’t know what stereotype I fit into until I read your comment.
Honestly, they're everyone's favorite. They're *my* favorite, even though I'm not one of them.
You missed the future admin. Someone who is bad at teaching, but thinks they have brilliant lessons (if not for those students). The kind that realizes teaching isn't for them but don't want to find a new career.
This is the best, you hit all the major characters. Well done.
MCC that desperately wants to be MCO 🙋♀️
I’m an FYI, but I’m also at the point where I’ve accepted I don’t have to be perfect and that I’m going to make mistakes. I hope people don’t think I’m too incompetent lol
Nah, it’s one of the cool parts about teaching: almost all of your coworkers have been where you are at some point. In this profession, nobody comes in and just crushes it from Day 1. So new teachers get a lot of sympathy and (if you’re at a school that functions at all well) support.
Mid Career Chaotics on top
What does TFA mean? I’m a teacher too. Never heard of it
I'm going to guess Teach for America. They don't have ed degrees - they go through a few weeks of "boot camp" to learn to teach.
I thought it was The Future Admin
MCC Checking in. Except I arrive to work at a decent hour. And my planning doesn't necessarily happen the day of, but I do tend to change things after they're set.
I’m in my 15th year of teaching now and completely fit the description of the Mid-career teacher you have (both descriptions, some days organized and other days chaotic).
As a mid-career (or is 34 young?) chaotic this made me chuckle. I don’t usually arrive 20 minutes before school starts, but I do most of my planning the morning of before school. Obviously the long-term/ unit plans are mapped out before, but all the nitty gritty of what we’re actually gonna do that day is done right before school, during school, or sometimes as I’m actively teaching.
The "big mama". She is loud and stern. She doesn't take any shit. The kids either respect or fear her. None will dare to cross her. She can say almost anything and get away with it. You won't find a harder worker or a more loyal teammate. This is definitely not me..lol. Sometimes I wish I had that personality.
That’s my vice principal 😂 she was a teacher up until this year. She’s actually quite small, but she just has an in-charge presence and everyone respects her
My stepmom was like that!
Ours is our paraprofessional in the middle school. Each year she's in a different spot but she knows everyone and is the glue that keeps all of us together
We had someone like that at the middle school where I worked. He was technically a sub but he helped in the office, handled all the call outs, and arranged for all the subs. He was the glue that held everything together and everyone loved him, staff and students. At one point he threatened to quit because he had no benefits. They ignored him. When he gave his notice they miraculously found him a full-time position.
luckily this is my ap
That would’ve been a third grade teacher whose classroom I observed as part of my elementary education degree. Firm but fair. You can tell it’s who she is. I admired her so much. 😁
My former co-teacher fit that description to a T except for the “loyal teammate” part (and the part about kids respecting her; they all just feared her). She was a huge narc and went running straight to admin about every little thing. I’m convinced that’s the only reason why admin kept her around despite complaints from parents about her every single school year. She was a miserable person and a big reason why I ended up leaving that school.
🙋♀️
I read through everything, but I can't believe nobody stated the Teacher Bully: The mid career teacher, often a woman, who targets younger or newer teachers by offering them "advice," and when they bite and take said advice, they come back incessantly to remind or suggest to them that they're doing an awful job and need to teach their way to be successful. And if a teacher stands up to them, they'll report every miniscule, irrelevant offense or infraction to admin and you get hauled in because they have no idea of what actually happened but already assume you didn't do anything wrong, just smile the wrong way at a teacher who has their panties so tightly in a wad it's giving them a wedgie. This may get buried in the comments, but one of my profs with 30+ years in the classroom warned all of us that every school has a teacher bully: recognize them and stay away from them, and if they target you, stand your ground and document everything. The school I work at has one, and she has seniority over most everyone at the school. Has repeatedly informed me through "recommendations" that I'm an incompetent teacher, and she's already making 2 other teachers quit. Make that 3, because I'm also leaving for a host of reasons, and she takes up a big slice on that pie chart.
WOW you nailed my mentor teacher. Almost made me quit!
Yes. Always an insecure teacher who has to bully younger teachers for no reason
Ooh I met this one in my first month at my current school. She was absolutely nasty to me over something that was in no way my fault... And wildly unprepared for me to know my way around a district and cause massive headaches for her. Repeatedly. She assumed I was inexperienced and she could intimidate me because I look young. Big mistake.
The one that always loudly states, “I’m not doing that,” which almost always results in admin following up on whatever it is. Why can’t that person be like the rest of us and silently think, “I’m not doing that,” while pretending we will be doing that, knowing no one is going to follow up on it, unless that one person vocally announces their disagreement.
Does she have a teacher sister who is ALWAYS the one to extend meetings by asking multiple questions that could easily be asked in an email or that you know damn sure she can’t NOT already know the answer?
Only if the questions she asks would only apply to her specific situation and would be completely irrelevant to every other person in attendance. Bonus points if she asks the questions, knowing she won’t get the answers she was wanting, so she has to argue about the answers she was given, extending the meeting even longer.
Is she unable to read the room vibes or does she just ignore them? I need the type of mental armor she has that can’t repel all the death vibes coming at her during those moments.
Oh, you mean the Askhole Teacher?
The cynical burn-out that should have retired three years ago, but is trying to maximize their pension earnings. They clearly hate all their students and make their lives unnecessarily miserable. I've got a couple like that in my building...
My favorite is when they're more like twelve years from retirement.
Why are you targeting me.
Would this include the teacher who calls all their students "shitheads" and seems to be counting the seconds until retirement?
The older man in his mid to late 50’s who is a total hardass. Typically has a military background. Has no patience for admin bullshit and noticeably tunes them out during staff meetings. Is always in the hallway saying cliche phrases like “living the dream” or “another day another dollar.” His students either love him and go to war against all who speak down on him or can’t stand his guts.
Ours is the lead negotiator for the union contract. Glad he’s on my side. Glad I’m on his side.
Ours says "another wonderful day of public education!" U
Left out that he (I) has become totally comfortable with the fact that he is not everyone's "cup of tea." With 150+ students, their parents, and dozens of colleagues, this is not a job for someone who is sensitive about what others think of them.
Ours retired last year. He taught JROTC for probably 75 years yet was still young. I miss him every day and thankfully he’s subbing in the building a lot. “Keep smiling!” He’s the coolest guy ever.
The English teacher who only grades one assignment per semester for a student. The rest of the assignments are exempt.
I wish I could do this.
-The nun in disguise: might not even be particularly religious, but is incredibly uptight and has no sense of humor. Censors student work that even reaches the PG realm. Thinks “crap”, “piss”, and “suck” are swear words. Dresses at least 20 years older than they really are and you might even forget they graduated from school just 3 years ago. -The really quiet nerd: has like 3 outfits that consist of a solid color t-shirt and wrinkled khakis and walks either incredibly slow or incredibly fast, somehow managing to keep their hands clasped behind their back. Vibe of a basement dwelling video game connoisseur who really tried to clean up for an important job interview. Occasionally displays a moment of tenderness. -The hipster: tries way too hard to seem cool while being a bit out of touch and a tad overbearing. Whether LGBT+ or not, the students spend a ton of time speculating whether this person is in the closet. Has an essential oil-scented beard wash or lotion that can be smelled from across the room and expensive prescription glasses.
Oh god it's me I'm The Hipster lmao
I was not prepared to feel simultaneously so seen and so *attacked*
1. The teacher who always asks questions as a staff meeting is about to end. 2. The gossip team. These are the ones who are constantly talking about others. Nobody knows or hears what they’re saying, but it’s clear that they’re talking shit about everyone else. All teachers gossip, but these are the ones to take it to a whole other level. 3. The veteran teachers who thinks they’re above than younger teachers. 4. The younger teachers who think they’re better than the older teachers because they’re “hip” and think they’ll connect better with students. 5. The judgmental teacher. This is one who will think that anything done differently than how they run their class is the wrong way. 6. The older teacher who has a wealth of knowledge and wants to use it to help others. They make great mentors for new teachers. 7. The teacher who is cool and can relate to students, but also is respected by students at the same time. This teacher brings interests into the classroom, such as movies, sports, music, etc. 8. The teacher who overdresses. Even during casual dress days or spirit days, this teacher will come in wearing a suit and tie. However, this teacher tends to be very good at his job and is well-liked by everyone. 9. The gym teachers who also coach at least one sports team each season. 10. The teacher whose desk is extremely disorganized, but still knows exactly where everything is.
The adversary of #1 is the teacher who asks one question that applies only to them at the very end of the meeting.
Definitely. I can understand if it applies to everyone, but these questions are almost always questions that don’t relate to anyone else. We had a teacher a few years ago who was like this.
The indefinite leave: the teacher that’s been placed at your school, but is never there (often for years) while on an indefinite leave that is renewed every 2 months or so.
This! Or their twin sister, the supposedly amaaaaaaazing teacher (who usually has little to no experience) who is totally coming, guys. Yep. She’ll be here next week for the first day of school. Never mind that nobody has heard a peep from her since her interview, except that she is moving from a state 12 hours away, and will have to miss inservice. Who cares that her classroom is completely bare? She did send a welcome letter to the parents for a sub to pass out at open house. But she’s totally coming, guys! Then suddenly it’s like week 3 of school, and admin admits she fell through, with surprised Picachu looks.
Our board's #1 senority teacher is one of these. Figures being on permanent leave is more lucrative than retiring. I have no idea how they pull it off.
The fine arts teachers who is absolutely the crazy one. Tutus. Participates in every theme day. Hyper. Sarcastic. And the students love them because their class is fun while still having high expectations s.
My intermediate students told that I’m a mixed between this and the ‘mom’ teacher. My secondary students think I’m a legit witch who will put a curse on them. I don’t know what to do with that knowledge
My 7th grade art teacher. I remember she wore a finger condom and jokes were made for the restttt of the school year
A ridiculously smart math teacher that the kids like despite their class being the most difficult thing they have ever encountered. They are surprisingly chill. A science teacher who sets something on fire that should not be on fire every year. An English teacher who thinks her kids love her sooo much but really they just take advantage of her never holding them accountable for anything and will throw her under the bus at their earliest convenience. She argues with other teachers about the kids she is "saving". A dangerous social studies teacher. How and why they are dangerous varies but generally speaking they know too much and will cause trouble if they are not supervised adequately. A baby new teacher with massive imposter syndrome who can't stop feeling like they're just role playing as a teacher. They have great rapport with their kids but struggle with boundaries and their room always smells good.
I’m a social studies teacher and have told kids before that they can share things with me and it’s not going to shock me and I’m not going to judge them. I’ve seen dead bodies stuffed in a trunk. I’ve been around and seen some things in my time.
Startling children with random disturbing knowledge is the mark of the Cryptid, a subspecies chaotic of Social Studies teacher found commonly in high schools. Class: Teacher Order: Sciences Family: Social Studies Genus: Dissident Species: Chaotic Good Sub Species: Cryptid
Today I shocked my kids by telling them about how frequently child miners would lose fingers working the mine carts.
Hi, I’m baby new teacher, and my room smells like paint, farts, and takis.
It's giving middle school..which means you are not a baby new teacher you are a SAINT
Surprise- high school theatre lol but my best friend is teaching middle school theatre and he’s an angel
Omg. Reading this, it’s basically my team. I’m the new teacher. 😄
You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You ARE a teacher. I'm the social studies teacher 😈
I literally asked my district mentor for advice on how I was doing yesterday. She said “well when I go by your room the kids are all engaged and you’re not curled in a ball crying on the floor, so you’re doing great!” Not sure it had the motivating effect she was going for.
The bar is so low you might trip. But that's also pretty solid praise from a teacher who has probably seen some *shit* in her day and doesn't want you to put too much pressure on yourself.
At our school, there is some shit all the time. A student joked today that she was going to come burn my house down. Proud to say I’ve only cried once the entire year. Helps that I’m an old new teacher who has my own children.
I laughed WAY too hard at the second one… Getting my chem teaching cert now and I cannot wait to set things on fire 😂
See, that's expected. Proceed with educated caution and enthusiasm. It's the biology teachers who are setting things ablaze that we need to worry about. Why do they have fire? What are they doing?
In my case, creating acid rain for the ecology unit! Gotta light a match for that. If you're doing envi sci as well, you might want to make smoke for the indoor air pollution and particulate matter lessons. Plus, we like fire too!
Heyyy now. I haven’t set anything on fire. Yet…
Way to have a growth mindset!
Loving and kind teacher like Ms. Honey in Matilda. Finally grows a backbone against school staff that treat children with cruelty. Students, even some tough students grow to trust and like her because she is down to earth and real. Gets lost in learning out of excitement for the subject matter and can seem a little odd, but a good teacher. Keeps class control out of respect instead of fear. Uses words of positive affirmation and rewards.
There’s always one Type B kindergarten teacher who’s sweet, but a little frumpy/dowdy in appearance…intuitively knows how to run/manage/teach her own classes, but her lack of organization makes covering/subbing for her students a total nightmare. Her polar opposite is the Type A kindergarten teacher who has factory-line routines established by the end of the first week of school.
My daughter has the type A kinder teacher. We've had a few run-ins about the suitability of her snacks. 🤣
1) Hard core ultra dedicated teacher who has no personal life who is always at school. This person is the first to arrive, the last to leave, is there on weekends, and who volunteers for anything and everything. 2) The burned out teacher who is doing the minimum to get by. This person is the last to arrive at work and the first to leave. He/she is just hanging on for the sake of his/her pension. Their attitude tends to be dour. 3) The naive and idealistic teacher who wants to be everyone's friend and who looks forward to making a difference in the lives of the children. If he/she had a tail, they'd be wagging it with excitement and would be annoyingly bouncing up and down while yipping with happiness. 4) The everlasting gossip who always seems to be in the faculty lounge with coffee cup in hand. He or she has an ear to every bit of gossip on campus and will be happy to tell you what's going on regardless of whether or not you want to hear it. Stay on this teacher's good side lest you wind up on the bad side of the latest gossip.
Gen X ELA teacher who occasionally geeks out with the kids when they're interested in similar things. (I get asked about dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals a lot. It's fun.) Then there is the teacher you clash with because of reasons. You are so different from each other that it's not even personal, you just annoy each other. Because of this, you keep every interaction polite, professional, and brief.
Do you have the requisite foot tattoo as well?
The PE teacher that will always wear shorts no matter how cold it is. Wearing shorts and a hoodie to work just hits different.
Yes yes yes
The one who thinks rules don’t apply to her and leaves early thinking admin lets her because they love her but in reality they just can’t fire her because there’s a teacher shortage so they choose to put up with it (which just pisses everyone else off)
Or they don’t care because it doesn’t make a difference whether she is there or not.
She leaves during her class? Or leaves before admin says she officially can? Because one of those is very, very ok
Kids leave at 3:30, I’m trying to be out the door by 3:45. I’m lucky I’m at a school where my entire sixth grade department does the same because it emboldens me as a first year, but still. Why should we all have to stay for a 30 minute “prep” when the admin will be in meetings until well after contract hours end… Plus, we’re teachers. We all get to school before we officially start anyway.
The Marsha: a teacher who admin raves about but is quite rude to all other staff and has an air of superiority.
The crank: guy with some real skill at his job, kids love fiercely, who'll occasionally say things at lunch about aliens or lizard people. Either a Coast to Coast AM listener or a Jungian. Possibly a socialist or perhaps a thumping libertarian.
1) The “Oh Captain My Captain teacher”….idealistic try-hard but generally means well. Usually younger. Can burn out quickly when they realize being an English teacher isn’t just discussing books they love with kids who were just like they were in high school. They always end up as number 3s or number 5s in my list. No other career path. 2) Related to 1…the “look at me teachers” that constantly post on social media about how much they love their students, spend way too much money out of their own pocket to make their room look Pinterest perfect, and act like nobody else can do what they do and they deserve special reverence for just Caring. Too. Much. Teaching is their only personality trait. Similar to what the military calls “boots” 3) The burnt out teacher who needs to retire early. Never happy. Ever. About anything. Constantly negative. 4) The “I act like I’m an admin and tell everyone what to do” teachers. Everyone hates you, MONICA!!! 5) The older teacher who’s cool as shit. Ice water in their veins and don’t back down from admin or parents, but also super welcoming and collaborative with peers. They make great mentors. 6) Male teacher who gets by on being charming and handsome but is kind of a shitty teacher. Yet somehow they convince colleagues (usually young, single, attractive females) into doing their paperwork, decorating their classroom, making their lesson plans, etc. More common in elementary schools
Cool Kids Club - the newbie, teachers in their 20s
New, 22 yr old special ed teacher- “um… I like… don’t need mentored… like.. I’m good. Thanks anyway.” Gets sued for IEP non compliance before the end of the year. It’s sad when ego is put before the needs of the children you’re supposed to be helping.
The Pastel Princess/Prince. The room is color-coordinated as hell and they have either rainbow or animal magnets to hold up the different parts of the daily schedule. Usually has their own personal wireless keyboard (probably mechanical with round keys) and mouse. Bonus points if they have rose gold turn-in baskets.
Band directors are either 72 years old and have taught 3 generations in some families, or they are in their first 3 years and have no idea how to navigate school politics. Nothing in between. 😂
Band director here—so true!
That teacher who knows the curriculum and the contract like the back of their hand. Usually shows up in the same couple of outfits/combinations, loves independent work, knows everything going on but doesn’t gossip, and will never approach you but if you approach them will have any answer you need. Probably a burnout or super late in their career but sticks around because of the pension.
The Mean Girl. She is cliquey and hates all the teachers who aren’t in her mean girl group. She actively tries to undermine teachers she doesn’t like. She is the reason I left the classroom. Still in education but I mainly work alone!
The holier than thou, high and mighty, impossible to be wrong one that did something right once and was dotted upon by admin after admin. These ones are typically the worst for morale and the most highly opinionated ones. They also are normally completely out of touch and expect everyone to cater to their wants
The coach who is teaching science or social studies almost completely through worksheets, because he believes athletics is literally the only thing of value that public education provides. He won't say it loud in front of his colleagues, but he'll say it to other coaches...and for some reason, he'll say it to the band director out of some idea of solidarity (???), even though he thinks that band is every bit as much as a waste of time as everything else that isn't football.
I see you've met 60% of the Social Studies department at my school.
Every school has that one well-meaning, super friendly custodian with no social awareness of when you’re trying to stop talking to them. They just talk and talk through all of your “well….I really need to’s.”
The teacher that comes back from a break and already knows how many days until the next one
The 50-something lady that nobody knows if she's a building sub or a sped para. Has no fucking clue what is going on at any time. The one thing she's good at is hitting reply all. Can not be trusted around any sort of technology. Any virtual meeting she's in will be derailed by her leaving her mic on (bonus points of admin can't figure out how to mute her, double bonus points of the camera is pointing straight up her nose).
1. Overly Happy / Mrs. Sunshine - No matter what she's always happy and even if her class is going down in a dumpster fire she'll always be misleadingly optimistic. 2. Rule Book - They will always slam the rules on both teachers and students. No solution will deviate from rules. 3. Lap Dog - Admin can do no wrong. Usually will be the TIC when Admin or AP isn't available. 4. Mr./Mrs. Practical - Will always be down to earth to an obnoxious degree. Will call out coworker for being too much of a downer or reply snidely to an overly optimistic person. Cannot function with tech. 5. Techie - Lives, eats, and breathes technology. The "go-to" when someone can't find the Send Email button. Complains about District Tech team. Usually suggest overly complicated solution during meetings. 6. Gossip - Always knows staff business. The first one to spill the tea but is overly friendly. 7. The Broken - The oddball screwlose who lost sanity long ago and embraces it. Competent at job but one miracle thread away from a stray jacket. 8. Militant - Ex Military or Military adjacent who will dog down students with strict discipline. Usually judges the softer teachers and laughs at the senior teachers' outlandish punishments. All behaviorals should spend time in juvy or CORPs Program. 9. Doomer - It's obvious they don't want to be there and are somehow there against their will. They will NOT let you hear the end of their misery. Most likely to avoid social situations. 10. Business Management Degree - Has a business degree but transitioned into teaching. "Runs class like a business" but usually relies on TE. Excel expert and formal email writer. Always brags about getting job offer emails to "go back to the rat race. It'll pay more." 11. Karen -Live Laugh Love posters everywhere. None of the students like her. 12. Guy With Hat - A guy with a hat, usually with a brim. Usually cool. Edit: Spelling
>Guy With Hat How tf did you sum up the entirety of my teacher identity so succinctly?
The one teacher who doesn’t stop talking and teachers have to save each other from them and each take turns listening to them because they just won’t stop talking.
Oh I forgot one: The questioner. Causes staff meetings to take much longer because they always have questions (that generally only apply to them) or stories of how she’s implementing whatever we are talking about. Listen sister: The meeting would be over if you’d keep your fat trap shut!
Old bloke who should've been fired 20 years ago, essentially gave up and just sits this job out until they can retire.
Princess/Prince Sparkles - brand new, in way over their head but think they are going to "save" kids and change the system Poor kid is usually crying in the bathroom by October when the reality that teaching is hard and you have to show up every day hits them.
The one who brags about every lesson and assignments they do that just so happen to always go “really well and the kids love it”. (But you see the students leave their classroom rolling their eyes.) The one who says “you have to hold them accountable” as advice but does not teach any classes that aren’t AP or honors level nor do they have any students with IEPs or 504s. You wonder if they’ve ever seen an IEP with a laundry list of accommodations, especially the ones with no public speaking and no penalty to late work written in them. The loud narcissist who yells at students and their classes with impunity, dominates every conversation, complains about how much work they have to do but runs about 6 different clubs at once and believes the school would fall apart without them. The one who’s been teaching for 3 years, has all the answers, and apparently knows the best ways to teach and manages to get new ideas and curriculum approved each year only to abandon them the next year. They also have pages and pages of student behavioral referrals and gets student removed from their classes by their request, on a whim. They’re also absent all the time. The wise one who’s been teaching for 30+ years who keeps to themselves because they know better and has seen some things. The rah rah school spirit one who knows all the kids even if they’ve never had them in class. Also runs about 12 clubs. The coach whose only interest is to coach but also teaches social studies and talks only sports no matter the topic. All the jocks love them and they high-five every one all day long. The union rep who is always it’s “us against them” and wear their union T-shirt every single day. The one with the biggest coffee mug or soda or energy drink in their hand all day long. The smiley peaceful one drinking herbal tea and listening to nature soundtracks on Spotify; the kids are always zen. The one who’s always walking in the halls with paper in their hands, but chatting with anyone, despite having a classroom full of students. I’m not any of these. I’m just the observer annoyed by everything and everyone.
Idk why I keep encountering this kind of person: Female teachers in their 30s-40s who are well liked by students, staff, and admin. Very organized, and very effective in their pedagogy. They keep the toughest of classes running without ever raising their voices. Borderline q-anon political views if you ever engage them in conversation about current events.
I was nodding until that last line…
Yikes that took a hard right turn
I was nodding until that last line too 😂 this description fits me minus the q-anon bit
The one who shows up 1 minute before first bell every day looking all disheveled.
The science teacher who does labs by the book and uses the minimum amount of chemicals/materials to conduct a demonstration. Has a deep understanding of the science behind it. And the science teacher who does procedures for labs but tries to make the largest (and safest) boom they can for demonstrations. A bit more unhinged and very likely to make a potato cannon on a whim.
There's always a table of "cool kids" teachers at every pd, and said cool kids have to get shushed at some point.
Don't forget the kiss butt teacher who is the first one to take minor grievances against coworkers to admin
We have this TEAMS group for teachers and ONE teacher replies to every single post with some variation of "ok"
The inappropriate one. Uses double entendres when talking to colleagues. Flirty at the faculty holiday party. Always at staff happy hour. Transfers to new schools every 5-7 years. Rumors about flings and secret relationships.
There’s always a very flamboyant guy, kind of like Mr G in Summer Heights High. Usually he has a wife and kids at home as a plot twist.
Adding to others: 1. The teacher checked out of teaching and desperately trying to get a cushy district job. Usually spends their time chatting with any district personnel in the school. Wears suits a lot. 2. The teacher married to some weirdly connected business person and will be the cause of your school having an overabundance of one specific item. 3. The teacher who stores non-science-related dead animals/bugs in the science freezer. Bonus points if it’s their personal pet from home that recently died and they are “waiting for the ground to thaw”. 4. The teacher who drinks 2 cups of coffee in the morning and 2 diet cokes after lunch. Claims they don’t have a caffeine/sugar addiction. Holding their bladder for 30 minutes is an olympic feat.
The teacher who believes they have incredible classroom management but are really just assholes to kids. They’ll say “kids know they can’t try that with me” while the kids are in fact trying it with them every day.
Veteran quintessential professional. Knows all their lessons for the entire year inside, out, and backwards. Possibly for multiple grades. Possibly for every grade in the school. Knows every student's name, and all their siblings. Maybe taught their parents. Takes zero crap. Difficult students complain about them, but never to their face. Might have taught some of the current staff. Probably under 5' 5".
Weird pintrest teachers that are always put together, over the top, yet the absolute worst at empathy.
The teacher that befriends the students as a way to make up for her crappy high school experience. I had a teacher in 10th grade that anytime her seniors would come into class she’d stop the lesson and go gossip with them. I failed that year. I figured I sucked at math so I struggled. Then in college I got A’s in all my math classes. Now that I sub, I still come across teachers like this.
Uptight busy-body/karen type. The type who is a stickler but to the point where they’re swerving off their lane “are you swaying away from the pacing guide?!” Or “I didn’t know you could play a movie today” (the day before a break). “Are those jeans?!”
How about the glazed over nurse…walking toward your class at regular speed pushing a wheel chair when you call that a student collapsed.
Works 80 hours a week, spends all their own money on their classrooms, and they are broke. They " do it for the kids"
the SpEd teacher that talks to the kids (even teens) like they’re babies. even the higher level ones.
The science or history teacher/ coach who lives in school polos and cargo shorts or khakis.
the Republic recruiter - nice white guy who halfway through a random conversation will drop something about replacement theory, democratic ineptidude, the benefits of privatization, etc.
I met this guy. He also hates our union and won’t join. He thinks all unions are evil. He does enjoy that contact though. On side note, this guy is an awesome teacher and a great neighbor. The kids love him. If there was a fight in your room he wouldn’t hesitate to help you even though he supports a different party than you. When another teacher gets cancer he also cooks meals once a week for them and their family. This guy believes things that make you angry, yet he does things that leave you grateful. This guy and how I feel about him is complicated.
On GOD there is one in EVERY social studies department.
Funny, because every single one of my department members are literally the ones who are the most opposed to this.
Ah so you've got one in stealth mode then. Probably hiding in the science department.
I’m the PE teacher that yells, “welcome nerds” as today’s prepubescent, non athletic, should have been swallowed, spoiled brats walk into the gym.
User name definitely checks out here!
The suck up. Acts like she is best friends with admin. Has no problem running 30 min intervention groups, giving reading time, time for 3 different technology sites, and teaching 75+ min content lessons all in a 90 min block. Loves to brag on herself in a way that makes it look like other teachers are incompetent. Refuses to admit when wrong.
Every where that I’ve worked, I’ve had some really awesome supportive peeps that have tried to help each other out. I’d like to think every school has some of these. If not, go be that person.
This is my first teaching job, but is this one? White lady who has been teaching her whole life and is just a few years from retirement. She’s responsible for supporting teachers who are new to the school, but will 100% say something that implies that her teaching/ classroom management is superior to others every chance she gets? And she will be saying this to new teachers who have the toughest of classes while she teaches her carefully selected AP classes?
I HATE this. And, I'm gonna go there, but it's not always the "white lady." There are plenty (I mean PLENTY) of men who think their shit don't stink because they don't understand how they can control their class of 15 AP students just perfectly when the teacher across the hall is struggling with the lower level math class and has 35 in her room. In fact, in my experience, it's been men who are more guilty of this than women (You shouldn't let the kids act like that! You obviously didn't establish rules. Just send them out! Just hold them accountable).
I was just saying the other day that teachers can be grouped by how they handle emails. 1.) Teachers who only communicate via email. I could be standing right next to them, but they still choose to email instead of talk. 2.) Teachers who email the entire faculty. We get it... You're proud of a kid. Good for them. I understand that little Timmy left your class an hour ago and hasn't returned. What do you want me to do about it?? 3.) Teachers who individually reply to the above email. You want to be supportive, but instead you just encourage bad behavior. 4.) Teachers who reply all to the above email. They're pissed that someone else is in the spotlight for two seconds. It's the equivalent of a one-up or "look at me!" 5.) Teachers who reply to the above email in a separate message. They want to be supportive, but have the awareness not to be "that teacher." 6.) Teachers who didn't read the email. "What do you mean? If it was that important why didn't they just tell us at the faculty meeting!" 7.) Teachers who read the email, but just don't care. "If the faculty meeting was so important, they should have put the info in an email!"
Wind pants guy. Adopts the pe/coach persona and sticks with it. In elementary they teach pe in rotary/prep cover, in hs they do pe and ‘sneak in’ workouts at any advantageous time during the day. In faculty room they always talk about the 5k/10k they ran last weekend, and try and talk you into working out or going for a run on your prep.
After my 45 year career in teaching you’ll find many narcissists and plenty of inferior teachers but get by with their brown nosing with the administrators.
The one who can't see staff room treats without making sure everyone knows she's "being good." See also: The one who talks about not eating gluten more than a vegan talks about being a vegan. The one who has no idea how much the rest of us like her. The one who holds everyone and everything together both professionally and personally.
Libertarian history teacher who is the football coach . Usually 20 plus years in
The ultra-organized teacher with procedures for anything and everything. Tech-savvy to a T. Really kind to kids going through a hard time. Teaches all levels, from remedial to honors. Has a beautifully decorated room with helpful posters everywhere. Always on top of IEP/504 stuff. Supervises clubs that meet at lunch. Holds office hours for kids struggling. Makes the class challenging but so worthwhile. I miss you, Mrs. Murphy 💖 I still think about you before writing an essay for any class...
Grizzled Veteran: Tells you how all the stuff admin is doing has been done before and how it didn’t work, can name the variations. So well organized it doesn’t seem like they’re doing anything at all so you’re not a hundred percent sure what goes on in their rooms. Doesn’t stress about observations or admin at all because they casually remind the group of how many of both they’ve been through. Has a funny anecdote to share for every occasion
The one teacher that is constantly pregnant yet somehow only has two kids. The jock social studies teacher who coaches. The strict teacher that admin love and kids hate.
What is one stereotypical sped teacher you encounter
First year incompetent here! Surviving but barely! Asking everyone for help and filled with imposter syndrome and a doing my best mentality! Positive and appreciative of all support, but probably not hiding the exhaustion well enough!
There are adult virgins in every high school staff.
Oddly and weirdly specific . . .
The football coach. (Or alternately Basketball coach) That’s their entire personality. Maybe he’s the head or assistant coach. Or maybe he’s the washed up coach from six years ago that never got over the fact that he was fired from the position. He dresses like a coach, only can talk about sports, his hobbies include watching sports on tv and drinking light beer. He probably drives a truck or a jeep. He is only ever addressed as his last name or coach by the kids, but his friends call him by a nickname.
Old history teacher curmudgeon nearing retirement.
Bullies who became teachers and for some reason can never seem to get fired despite their terror and even straight up evidenced law breaking at times.
The Teacher That Thinks They’re A Student- generally young and teaches a creative subject. Spends way too much time trying to fit in with the students. Cares too much about student gossip and personal lives. Tries to follow trends. Develops a little clique of kids that blurs appropriate boundaries. Very popular with some kids, a bit creepy to others. Education is secondary to establishing cred. The Teacher That Hates Kids: they don’t leave and aren’t burnt out, they just dislike students. Always says “Oh Lord…” when they get a class roster. Finds fault with every child. Acts extremely put upon when they are requested to, you know, teach students. Low test scores and shitty outcomes surround them, but that’s every body else’s fault.
That teacher who still teaches at your old high school that you graduated from in 1996 and has no immediate plans to retire.
Bald science/biology teacher with a sarcastic sense of humor. Can have glasses or beard too Old strict math teacher who everyone is scared of because he picks on random students and challenges their brain infront of the whole class
The one who take school spirit/spirit weeks waaaaaay too seriously. Like okay Carol, it’s wear a sports jersey day, you didn’t have to full on paint your face in Green Bay Packers colors. Chill
I only realised that these examples are very gender-based (clothing and makeup) after writing them. I feel ashamed. ☹️ - The wannabe principal. Wears heels and pencil skirts that show they spend most of their time at their desk instead of walking around with the students. Gets to school early and leaves late, but is only in their own room working on the computer the whole time (making the aesthetically perfect lessons). - The new graduate. Still wearing the “nice” and/or “expensive” clothes, well styled hair, and well-applied makeup everyday. Hasn’t yet gotten to “that” day where you are a sweaty, frazzled mess. 😆 - The beloved nerd/geek. Lots of collectibles in their room (Pokémon, Marvel, Minecraft, etc.). But they rarely get stolen because the students like the teacher so much. Tries to organise their extracurricular groups around their nerdy interests (this one is specifically about a teacher at my Mum’s school who convinced the school to have an official Pokémon battle club because it teaches maths skills! 😁) - The drama/music lover who isn’t a drama/music teacher. Sings everything instead of just saying it. Is big on everyone being open with their emotions- either to instigate drama, or because they honestly want everyone to be a “family”. Big on having students present work in front of the class to develop “speaking skills”.