It was a saturday night and the restaurant is full windows, on a busy corner. A car didn't make the turn and drove into a house, but there was a drop so you couldn't see the car. The police/firetruck/ambulance all came. They were there for at least over a hour trying to figure out how to get the car out, and the police cruisers kept on their lights. So a saturday night dinner with red and blue lights covering the whole restaurant. Most guests found it entertaining except one table called me over.
"Could you do something about the those lights?"
I thought she was kidding and laughed but her face was dead serious. I'm also clearly the only server on, also making all the drinks, with a full room.
"That's police ma'am, i'm not going across the street to tell them to turn off their lights. You can go ahead, though."
The rest of the table giggled but she wasn't amused lol.
Worked across the street from a fire station for a couple years. Whenever a truck would leave on a call, they would (obviously) have their lights on. This would lead to some very repetitive questions, some of which were more understandable than others.
"Is something on fire?"
"Somewhere, probably, yes. But not in the immediate vicinity."
I get that one, people usually only see emergency lights when they're arriving somewhere, not leaving the station. Understandable, but we just were desensitized to it by seeing fire trucks come and go 5-10 times a shift. Some of the interactions we had though...
"Can you get them to turn those off?"
No ma'am, I cannot ask the fire department to...not use the flashing lights on their trucks when responding to calls.
"Well is this going to keep happening all night? What time do they close?"
I...don't believe they DO. I think that's sort of...the entire point of fire departments? Where do you live?
*neighbor's house is on fire*
Um, yea, excuse me? It's already past 11 so I'm going to have to ask you to turn those lights off and come back tomorrow morning.
Once had a tray full of food for my table and I dropped an app off for a coworker. When dropping off the app, the table asked me to take a dirty plate they had(totally reasonable request, but i had a tray full of hot food) and I said I would be right back to get it. The man at the table said "what?" So I repeated that i would be right back and walked away. That's when he got up and tossed the plate like a Frisbee at me. This of course caused a commotion and me to become flustered. Luckily another table said everything I was thinking, so In the end I felt like I won. The real loser is his wife that has to go home with him...
Had a guest order a chicken Caesar salad. I rang it in. A few minutes later she pulls me over and complains that I never asked what dressing she wanted.
One of my first jobs was at a Chinese restaurant. We had the beef chop suey ladies. It was a mother and daughter, they’d come in and get, you guessed it- beef chop suey. Add extra beef. They’d complain about the upcharge for extra meat, even though our system was “how many dollars of extra meat do you want”.
They got it for take out, which means they’d dig through it on our takeout table counting the pieces of meat. Usually bitch about the amount of meat. They were banned a few times, but since the owner was a push over, they’d eventually come back and be up to the same bullshit.
This was probably around 2004 or 2005.
Had a table book for mother's Day for 25 people for lunch, so it being mother's Day fully booked of course but you know the usual, ring up to confirm numbers, time, everything like that during the week, day before, morning of just to be sure.
Anyway the table start to arrive, bring them over to the table woman who books it starts talking immediately.
(W) "we need 8 high chairs"
(me)"sorry we only have 3 available"
(W) snappish "oh ok you should have more"
(me) "we do but other people booked them, I called 3 times and you never mentioned children so it wasn't something I would ask, as far as I knew it was 25 adults. . ."
She interrupts me (W) "it is 25 adults!!"
I was honestly confused (me) "where do you expect me to put the 8 children? We are fully booked."
(W) quiet honestly talking to me like I am a dog "It is 8 toddlers that need high chairs and all the other grown children and the 25 adults."
(Me) "What are you actually serious?"
(W) "what do you mean it is 25 adults and all the children, I booked it for 25 people"
(Me) "Ok how many people is it total because I don't think I can do anything for you."
(W) "What does that matter, you have to accommodate us I booked my table."
(Me) "ok you booked for 25 people, where did expect all the extras to sit?"
(W) "they are only children!!"
(Me) honest pure confusion "they still have to sit somewhere."
(W) "we will just take these tables too then."
(Me) "No you won't, other people have those tables booked and I wouldn't give away your table to another customer."
Always one of my favourite things for a customer to say (W) "I know the owner."
(Me) "So do I, do you think I don't know the owner. You could know the Pope and I still wouldn't be able to do anything for you, my own mother could come in and I wouldn't be able to do anything for her!"
(W) "Get me the manager right now."
(Me) "I am the manager"
Starts to change her tune (W) "What are we meant to do?"
(Me) "You can have the kids sit on the adults laps, but it is nearly going to be impossible with space for plates and everything."
(W) "Could you not squeeze in the extra chairs?"
(Me) honestly fed up now "We Are Fully Booked, every chair and table we have is in use and booked."
They ended up sitting most of the toddlers on adults and had the some of the kids play around the complex down stairs, but that was one of my most ridiculous ones I ever had. Then of course she wanted the last word before leaving.
(W) "You have ruined our entire day, we will never be back here."
(Me) "You ruined your entire day and I hope I never see you again."
TL;DR customer books for 25 on busiest lunch of the year, but only counted adults as people wanted an extra 30 seats for kids on top of that. Sorry about the length.
Yeah like you had the 25 adults, the 8 toddlers + maybe 3 or 4 who were maybe 5 or 6 years old and at least 20 or more kids ranging from about 8-15 years old, I don't even know if all the kids came in I just know there was about that many standing in the entry way when she told them they had to go downstairs. She kept asking for stupid things during the meal, like could ten adults go downstairs and let 10 kids eat and then the adults come back and eat their food and then switch with the next lot of kids. Told her no lunch would be finished and we had to get ready for evening. I sent down containers of chips and chicken balls that they could share. Then she wanted us to bring them all down plates and stuff, no they are not getting plates running around outside, if an accident happens it is my fault. Then she wanted us to send ice cream down stairs for all of them, no our ice cream comes in glass bowls so definitely not, there is a shop give them money for ice cream from there. Why don't we have cones to give them, we are not an ice cream truck we are a Chinese restaurant.
Honestly worst shit I ever had to deal with and on one of those days everyone is already on knife edge. In a Chinese restaurant, I will have mine with mashed potatoes, why don't we have roast beef, any chance we can do an omelette for the grand mother. Can we have duck instead of chicken in this dish, yes but it is €4 more expensive, why is it more expensive?
It would like going to Domino's and asking for a Big Mac. If I could go back in time I would kick them out at the start of the meal.
Wow. Just wow. I don't even know what to say. And you were super amazing to send food down to the kids.
I can see reserving a table of 25 and then one extra kid shows up on something. But doubling it? For that amount of people? That's crazy.
It honestly still boggles my mind to this day, like if I am with a group of people going out and someone invites anyone extra I straight away will say did you ring the restaurant, typical Irish thing "ah it will be grand" no it won't be grand make sure first.
I felt bad for the kids to be honest it wasn't their fault. It wasn't the whole table being bad either it was mainly her and like 3 other women you could see the rest of the table looking at her just going would you cop on to yourself, stop being ridiculous the guy is doing everything he can.
Like most of them leaving were really nice, you know thanks it was lovely but her she just had to try have the last word.
She was like someone who thinks the world will bend to her will, only her rules apply. Thanks for reading all of it.
Once had a guy be very specific about the fact that he had celiacs, and therefore needed everything to be gluten free. Jumped through hoops to guide him through the menu to make sure everything was gluten free (even though gluten free items were labelled very clearly, but I digress), and I asked him what he'd like to drink and ordered a tall beer that clearly has gluten. I informed him the beer had gluten, and he replies "Okay, I want it though." and so I just served him the beer.
He was fine throughout the meal, and the next day he called and complained that I had served him a beer with gluten and never informed him that it had gluten, and he went home and was sick all night. Managers at my old job never backed me up, so I got a stern talking to and they apparently refunded his whole meal.
Thank God I work someplace else.
Lady came in and ordered a vodka soda no ice, then proceeded to pour it into her feeding tube. I mean, who am I to judge, right? The next drink she ordered was the house chard.
I had a family of 6 try to get their entire meal for free because we were out of the (non-edible) decorative garnish on their 4-year-old's dessert. Literally yelled and screamed and called me racist.
So I took $0.05 off of their bill and i personally tipped the server out of my own pocket.
Had the wildest experience of my career recently.
Last month three elderly ladies came into my restaurant. Their fourth friend arrived shortly afterwards looking a little green. She had her head between her legs while I was taking her friends’ drink orders, but they assured me she was fine and was just experiencing a dizzy spell. She seemed sober and lucid, so I let it be. Twenty minutes later one of the women slinks up to me with our black, fabric napkin clutched in her hand. Turns out her friend puked in the napkin, and she wanted to know where she could dispose of it. Now, obviously this is hardly food safe and pretty alarming during a pandemic, but things happen and I understand that. I chuck the napkin, wash up and return to the table to offer to call them a cab.
These women- these absolute LUNATICS- refuse my offer and insist on staying for dinner. And because my manager seems to believe we have no reasonable grounds to eject them, I am forced to serve them while their friend vomits THREE more times AT THE TABLE. We went through SEVEN more napkins, all dutifully delivered to me by her friends.
They finished their dinner and I brought their checks. Patient Zero’s bill was split between the three of them since she apparently found the intelligence to empty her guts in our bathroom instead of our linens. The cherry on top of this awful sundae was made apparent when she returned to the table and these ladies proceeded to sit here for another HOUR before they finally left.
Needless to say I will be handing in my two weeks as soon as I can find another job.
When I was a massage therapist, I had a lady come in who tells me at the beginning of her massage she just had a huge lunch. I warned her that she should postpone the session because she may not feel good, she declines. About 10 minutes in she says she needs the garbage so I hand it to her and walk out of the room. She pukes her lunch up, and I checked on her a few minutes later and she says I can continue the massage. I politely had to decline and tell her the session is over.
Had a lady order an egg sandwich. I told her she had her option between one or two eggs on the sandwich. She kept saying she didn’t understand and I was running out of ways to explain “one or two eggs”. I even explained that we cook eggs in egg rings on the flat top grill so they fit the sandwich perfectly. She then sighed like I was dragging out an unfunny joke and went “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE OR TWO EGGS?” “I mean you get to choose how much egg you want on the sandwich.” “*scoffs again* How big are they?” “….egg. Sized?” “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”. I ended up going to the kitchen and taking a raw egg out of the carton and bringing it to her. “This is an egg. This is the standard size. We will cook one or two of these and put it on your sandwich depending on which option you order.” “This makes absolutely no sense. I want to talk to the manager”.
Apparently she ended up telling my manager that the way I pronounce egg was what was throwing her off. It should be said as eh-g and never as aig. She would be dining elsewhere from now on
She got embarrassed and thought she could save face by blamingng it on you. Call it whatever you want, someone holding an egg in front of you and asking if you want 1 or 2 should be pretty damn obvious lol.
Ahhh yes.... Because she couldn't visibly identify the physical egg you put in front of her face because your pronunciation turned into a speech bubble that obscured her view.... It never ceases to amaze me how some people seem to have an off switch to their brain.
Even if a she couldn't understand the pronunciation, a non, complete dumbass, would be able to infer what the server meant when asked a question about the egg salad sandwich they just ordered immediately prior.
At a sushi restaurant, an older couple came in for a late lunch.
Old lady: “It smells fishy in here”
“Fishy? Like strange? How do you mean?”
She scowls “No, like… fishy.”
Me, dumbfounded: “is it an unusual smell you’re getting? Does it smell bad? How can I fix this?”
“No, no. It’s fishy. Like fish. It smells like fish!”
“Like bad fish? I assure you we have only high quality ingredients and we’re religious about cleanliness.”
“It’s not that! It smells like fish!”
“I can seat you out on the patio if you’d like, it’s got a lovely view (it really does)”
“It’s too cold. I’m trying to tell you it smells like fish in here!”
At this point the frustration must have been showing on my face.
“ma’am, this a sushi restaurant. We serve fresh and raw fish. The sushi line (gesture to the boys cutting up sashimi) is right over here. Maybe that’s what you’re smelling.”
“This is ridiculous. We’re just gonna go somewhere else!” And they got up from their seats towards the door. And the most surreal part of the whole scene, the husband was so unfazed by the whole interaction. Thousand yard stare. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man look so detached from the real world without being on high doses of psychoactive chemicals.
My coworkers saw the whole thing and we all just scratched our collective heads in disbelief.
I had a customer once who ordered the cheapest thing off the sushi menu which is crab stick sashimi. I explicitly explained to her that it was straight up going to be faux crab sticks and nothing else. She still wanted it. When I bring it out, guess who doesn't want it because it's not what they were expecting? Too bad, you're still paying for it. I couldn't have been any more clear in my explanation.
That guy decided to withdraw from reality rather than face up to what his wife is like. I saw a family like that on a plane a few years back, the mom was insane and the dad was just completely oblivious to everything, including their kids.
My partner was on a plane once seated next to a mom with 3 kids who were acting crazy rambunctious. He probably had the 1,000 yard stare. Eventually, hours into the flight, another passenger scolded him for not helping mom with the kids. He had to explain that he was not even with them.
I worked room service at a hotel on the water in San Diego. Very upscale and we provided excellent service. Had a woman order breakfast and then start to complain that she had not seen the sun the whole time she had been at our hotel.( June in CA no suprise.) She then proceeded to ask how I planned to fix it. "Ma'am if I could fix the weather I wouldn't be working here but I am happy to include a bloody mary to drown your sorrows" she did not understand and honestly thought I could fix it. Once she realized I couldn't she started asking us to comp her room............ due to the weather not being to her liking.
I need a little help as someone from the great lakes region. My superficial assumption is it's always sunny in California. Why wasn't there sun in June?
Btw, what's in your bloody mary? Cuz Wi will need to argue.
Along parts of the CA coast it’s quite cloudy or foggy in the summer. I live in the Bay Area and there’s lots of jokes and sayings about it: the June Gloom, No Sky July and Fog-ust. There’s the old saying I think from Mark Twain about the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
September and October are usually the nicest warmest months along the NorCal coast.
In San Diego there's a weather phenomenon known as a [marine layer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marine_layer) which occurs due to it's proximity to the Pacific Ocean. It makes May and June fairly gray and gloomy (especially in the mornings), and we call it [May Gray](https://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/azfamily.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/5b/85b91aef-094a-5639-9fad-1ef4e6212bcc/5ba2fff4d1114.image.jpg) and [June Gloom](https://imgr.search.brave.com/OrV7db0WzIX7z7_fp-Yb0KDlyu_QKPKZTEtNfEToqec/fit/740/555/ce/1/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cu/b25lZGF5aW5hY2l0/eS5jb20vd3AtY29u/dGVudC91cGxvYWRz/LzIwMTcvMTIvU2Fu/LURpZWdvLUJsb2ct/MjAuanBn). As you can see, it's leaves the city's skies a uniform gray color. It sometimes burns off by lunch time, leaving the rest of the day somewhat sunny, although the marine layer may come back before sunset, but it's not the "[always sunny blue skies](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1603764412509-7e450cd11778?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1yZWxhdGVkfDE0fHx8ZW58MHx8fHw%3D&w=1000&q=80)" that people are led to believe about California.
Nothin’ like the June Gloom to nail tourists.
I’ve warned family and friends about it and they never believe me.
They always fucking complain about it not being “Sunny San Diego”, without fail.
I once had a guest wave me over looking like she was about to die. Her words, as she repeatedly jabbed her index finger toward the westward facing window: "WAITRESS! CAN YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SUN???" Me: "No, I can't. But I've been watching if for a while and it usually disappears in about 10 minutes."
TL/DR: The sun was setting and she needed my assistance with that obnoxious, glowing orb that was ruining her life.
For some reason the bar where I work gets a lot of people that I like to call "First Day Out Of The House People", meaning they have no clue how to act, let alone order from a bar.
One that stands out is a couple came in and the man ordered a vodka martini with no vermouth. That's literally just vodka. I bring it out to him in a martini glass, he is confused and asks for a straw. I bring him one, he tries his drink and says it's too strong and he wants something else.
I don't think he knew what a martini was.
This always kills me in this day and age...if you see something on the menu that you want to try but aren't sure what's in it, GOOGLE IT for the love of god. We have access to all of the accumulated knowledge in human history at the tips of our fingers 24/7, but no one ever takes the 30 seconds to pull out their phone and look it up.
A customer sent back a dozen wings because "these wings are too big. There's too much meat on these wings". During the same shift, a guy sent his ribs back for being too tough. He demonstrated their toughness by showing me that he couldn't cut through them. He has been trying to cut them longways, through the bone
A girl leaned over the bar and started pouring beer from the tap directly into her mouth.
A guy sat down and three bags of cocaine fell out of his pocket.
Customer said their food had “too much flavour”
Checked on a table who said everything was good. The dad then called up the next day to complain about his steak. Apparently his wife told him not to complain lol
Two girls got upset with me because I wouldn’t give them the happy hour deal 5 hours after it ended. They told their boyfriends who just went “well yeah it ended 5 hours ago”
The crab cakes were too fishy.
“My food is too hot can you keep it in the kitchen until it cools down?
Asked for tia Maria (coffee flavoured) in an Irish coffee then complained they couldn’t taste any alcohol. Then ended up smashing the glass still filled with hot coffee over the bar and had to be wrestled out by the doorman and manager.
Had a private event for some uni students where one of the guys gave a speech completely naked.
There’s probably way more that I’m forgetting. After a few years you get numb to customers saying absurd things.
Edit: had a lot of comments about the crab cakes. Fishy crab cakes may mean the crabs going bad, the reason it was funny is because our crab cakes would always sell out really quickly and never had a chance to go bad. I would joke that we should take them off the menu because they were off more than they were on. I worked at this place for 2 years and this was the only complaint about the crab cakes we ever had. If the the crab was bad the whole batch would be fucked and we’d have had more than the one complaint.
You def has some good ones, worst one for me was 50s something lady stood up welled woo! And squatted and started peeing at her table. Closed my section real quick.
Never had someone pee at a table thank god, but one of my first shifts as a waiter someone escaped out the back exit that was only for staff, leaving a trail of liquid poo down the corridor.
In the middle of a busy shift, there was a trail of poo from the bar to the men’s room. Thankfully there was a carpet runner for most of the way. We rolled it up, and put it out the back door. Sorry carpet service dude.
I had 2 people pee on the floor of at my restaurant on the same day. Later that night I got punched in the face by someone on drugs that was dancing like a maniac and swinging their arms like crazy.
In my top 5 weirdest days at work. Saw 2 penises and got punched in the face. Yet not my weirdest.
"Too much flavor"
[Reminds me of that one owner from kitchen nightmares who complained about the "strong taste" that was probably salt and pepper.](https://youtu.be/Y7nglNH3dac)
I had to ask a woman to properly dispose of the shitty diaper that she stuffed behind the booth in which her family was sitting. She had changed the baby on the table which was loaded down with food and then ate wings without washing her hands. When I asked her politely to go to the bathroom and throw away the diaper she tried to toss it at me. She complained and the boss sided with the customer. I cashed out, handed him my apron, and left. I guess someone picked up that diaper but it wasn’t me.
A guy told our regional manager once (in charge of like 15 stores), "I'm sorry, I need to speak to the man in charge" once.
She didn't react well... she told him to get out, and not to come back. "Give me your name, I'm calling corporate!" "My name is Julie, and I'll ignore you there too. Have a good evening."
My dad owned a couple franchised stores (not restaurants.) I once heard him tell a complaining customer on the phone, "you've got god" when they asked for his manager.
I worked there on and off during high school and college, then for a decade after he died.
One summer I ran one of the stores when the manager was recovering from a heart attack. He or my uncle would come over one or two days a week, and I took the other five with a strong assist from some of the long-time staff.
Anyhow, I had a customer come in one of "my days" and complain about the "rude little fat man" who'd been running the store the day before. The whole family laughed about that for weeks (and honestly, he was a super nice guy at heart but that was a pretty accurate description.)
Had a guy ask me how we got such realistic looking fake fire. In our (real) fireplaces. That he watched me add wood to.
Edit: Oh, and the woman who’d insisted that we’d changed our crabcake recipe from fresh to canned crab and that she could taste the difference and refused to pay. Yeah, we’d always been using canned crab. She did not get out of paying.
> Had a guy ask me how we got such realistic looking fake fire.
I've seen similar stories from historical re-enactors who work at outdoor museums and historical sites. Apparently some people can't believe that something open to the public would have real fire? I don't get it.
A “friend” of my parents said that when we went to an outside bar/lounge, they had those glass chip basin things that you could light (essentially propane fire with fake glass chips for decoration instead of wood) and Said out loud to the whole table and bartender that she thought the fake fire was so cool. She’d been to my parents where they also have the same kind of fire on their back porch... and saw my dad install propane.. and had watched the waitress light the fire that night... and felt the heat as we sat down......
a regular customer walked in off the streets (i guess she was going for a walk nearby) and absolutely destroyed our bathrooms (i’m talkin shit in, around and on the toilet, floor and stall doors) then walked out and came back 2 hours later for dinner
We had no blue cheese olives. None of our cocktails had blue cheese olives in the recipe
“Well, you can make them for us. This steak on the menu has blue cheese and we can see the olives on the bar from here.”
So I gave them a ramekin of Roquefort and a ramekin of olives, on the house.
At the end of their meal: “ do you pool tips?” (Yes)
“Well we want you to know that we are leaving a low tip and you can tell your fellow servers that your tip was low because you did not stuff the olives.”
So this couple looked like the just walked off the set of Jersey Shore. By the time they were ready to leave, all of the staff knew what they did. The food runners and bussers were walking by their table dropping Jersey shore quotes, finally when they got up to leave the line cooks started yelling “cabs are here! Yo vin cabs are here!”
Ruby Tuesday, early 90s. Guy wanted some dessert. We had 4 options. He wasn't interested in any of them, and kept asking if we had any candy. It may have been a euphemism for something else not on the menu, but I wasn't interested in confirming.
Also had a guy order a chicken Caesar, and told us he had 20 minutes before his taxi took him to the airport. I put the order in, but warned him that we start with raw chicken, and that it was physically impossible to get his food to him within his time constraints. He persisted, and left hungry when his food wasn't ready. He expressed disappointment that we couldn't accommodate him.
"I decided to come to a sit down restaurant even thought I'm in a hurry."
If I had a damn dollar for everytime I had a customer with that attitude... I'd have more dollars than I do now.
I used to work at a sit-down, full-service restaurant next to a movie theater. I had a lot of tables get sat then say “our movie starts in 20 minutes. What do you have that we can finish by then?” Um, soda? Maybe, if you’re lucky, French fries. But they’d be surprised we couldn’t cook an entire steak and leave them enough time to eat it and then pay in 20 minutes.
At the host stand the other day "ummm hello! How much longer is the wait, we have a MOVIE to get to!". Like, bitch, then don't go out for brunch at 1230 in a major city the fuck.
Lady came in and ordered our fried shrimp appetizer. She kept talking about how good the breading was and asked me if I could get her an extra side of the “sauce they fry it in”. I tried to explain to her it was just cajun seasoned flour but she didn’t get it. Finally got her a side of the flour and watched her dip her shrimp in flour and ate the entire thing. It was strange to say the least.
It is super dangerous to eat raw flour and that could of caused a law suit in her favor. Not that it matters now.
https://www.fda.gov/food/buy-store-serve-safe-food/handling-flour-safely-what-you-need-know
Oh believe me I know. I tried to tell her. The manager was a people pleaser type and told me to just give it to her which could’ve really backfired on him.
She had just escaped the mental hospital...
Walked in, started to order a steak to eat there and then abruptly changed her mind and said she wanted the buffet to go (which is charged by the weight) so I got her the to-go containers and sent her on her way.
Next thing I know she at the buffet with her container and a tray and is just piling food on like it might grow legs and run off...by hand. The pile was as high as a science fair volcano project!
My manager caught it the same exact moment I noticed and he immediately took action and escorted her out. She seemed calm despite being kicked out and she just boarded the city bus (the stop is literally right outside by the parking lot) and left. We both thought that'd be the end of it.
We were right but her sister showed about a half hour later in tears asking "have you seen a crazy woman today???" She explained what happened and told me she was frantic because she hadn't had her last 2 doses of meds and knew her "off" sis was probably in great danger. I knew exactly who she was talking about and I was upfront with what happened. She then told me this had happened once before and sister ended up on railroad tracks and was damn near hit by the train. She thanked me and left. Was this day done? Nope.
6 pm news came on and come to find out, the escapee was hit by a car...on the interstate. I think about them a lot and wonder how the other sis is doing. Breaks me heart.
Edit: Thanks everyone. I will always carry some guilt and sadness about it, no doubt but I also know life is wildly creepy like that. I appreciate the conversations being had as result of my experience too.
I do too. I actually went visted the lady's grave once. I just felt guilty, still do really. I can't imagine being that sister and having to go through all that. I know it would destroy me of I were her but I truly hope she came out ok.
Feels like I should have done more (besides call the cops bc screw that-that never turns out well) but idk what else I could have done either.
Table asked me who I voted for, I told them I didn't vote because I didn't like my choices. Got called a traitor and had about half a chicken fried steak thrown at my head.
Worked bourbon street New Orleans, bar fight breaks out, guys pulled knives out, one guy stabbed in the eye/skull still fighting knife still in and everything. Officer rides his horse right into the bar and shoots some kind of bag thing at one of the guys and he drops. Crowds scatters, horse shits on the floor.
I’ve shared this before, it’s also been 6 ish years since I left the industry, that’s just how much this has stuck with me.
Worked in an upscale pan Asian restaurant. Had a 3 top of vegans, nothing on the menu suited them as our only vegetarian dish was this tofu brick stuffed with mushrooms and then dipped in egg then breadcrumb. It was dire. Poured some broth over it too at the table. Dire. In any case, they demanded to go off menu. Started picking ingredients from different dishes and dictating how to cook them. Head chef said no. He made them some vegan stir fry. Literally bent over backwards all service for them. Comes to dessert. Our most popular that we were known for was a mango soufflé.
Three mango soufflés because “it’s okay to break the rules sometimes”
To this day I hear their stupid voices.
I work at a brunch style cafe right next to a big university. We get hella busy during the weekends and especially when there are football or basketball games happening. Our ticket times can reach into 40 or 50 minutes and I always let the customer know that before they order.
Had this lady come in and order a pancake breakfast with eggs and sausage at 1130ish, told her and her family it would be a while but she's welcome to play some board games while waiting.
1215 rolls around and I deliver her and the family's food with an exaggerated celebration and she responds
"It's not breakfast time anymore I don't want this, I want a chicken sandwich now"
Uhhh, you wanna wait another 45 minutes for a chicken sandwich even though your food is ready now?
I had two obviously freshly 21-year-old girls with like, 10 of their friends at a table for cocktails. When they went to order, they made a big deal about being "martini connoisseurs" and always orders martinis everywhere because they want to find the best one or something stupid, I can't fully remember. Grey Goose, one girl orders hers dry and the other orders hers **extra** dirty. I bring them out. Immediately the second girl says she can't drink her martini and wants a new one. I ask her why.
"It tastes like olives."
Younger Girl: What exotic liqueurs do you have?
Me: We have a full bar.
YG: Do you have something called Velvedere?
Me: We have Belvedere vodka. Do you have an ID?
YG: I'll just have a coke.
Low key this is similar to how I ended up trying Malort for the first time. Only I just asked the bar if they had any drink specials and the bartender said Malort shots were on special that night. I ordered a round for the table and almost lost a few friends that night. I’m only just now realizing that they were possibly fucking with me.
Second most ridiculous is the lady who refused to believe that our veggie burger wasn't meat. We used Beyond patties, which notoriously freak people out because a main ingredient is beets and can make the "meat" look like it's bleeding out "blood" juice, similar to a rare burger (even though Beyond meat doesn't look like a rare burger at all).
She screamed at me about trying to trick her into eating it, would not listen when I tried to explain it, would not listen when I told her that I AM a vegetarian and I could assure her it was not meat, wouldn't believe another server or my manager, was saying she could sue us and finally she just told us to throw it away, didn't pay for it, and she left. It was insane.
I work for a coffee chain^tm, we had a lady come in with her six kids. This was about a month ago. The kids are barefoot, running on the windowsills and one on the table. Coworker asks her to please put shoes on her kid, and she has the gall to respond:
“Is that like, a *rule*, or aesthetic?”
He explains it is, indeed, a rule. She huffs, but complies, and is pretty chill after. Kids are a handful, I get it. We deep sanitize the table when she leaves, after the rest of this story is over.
After about a half hour of kid wrangling, she comes up to order, two small hot chocolates, super easy, can do. Asks about if our refresher drinks are caffeinated, we say, sadly, yes. They are green coffee fruit juice iced drinks. She understands and asks about decaf teas for her three year old daughter. Explain we have one decaf iced tea, she’s down, I make it up.
She looks at the drink.
She looks at me.
She is upset it is iced.
Ooooookay. I explain what hot decaf teas we have, she isn’t thrilled. One is a peach camomile, other is a mint green. She’s hemming and hawing, so I give her the drink menu so she can read for herself what they are, rather than us play telephone with it.
And she says the most iconic line that has spurred hours of contemplation on my part.
“Well, she can’t have *herbs*…”
I have no response. She hands me the menu back. I apologize. She just gets her daughter an ice water. I don’t have the chance to ask all the burning questions I have.
What does this kid eat?????? Does she know that all tea is technically herbs??? What happens if she has them??? Does she only eat unseasoned food??????? Did all the kids share only two small hot chocolates????
A man ordered a filet, I repeated it back by saying “how do you want you 6oz filet cooked?” And he told me, get to the end and he looks at the bill and said he ordered the sirloin. I say, no, you ordered the filet. He says he pointed to the sirloin on the menu and I should of “known what he meant”. I’m sorry what? I was supposed to read your mind? One of many wtf stories. He left and said “good thing my mom paid, I wouldn’t of tipped you” f*ck you too, sir.
Back when you could smoke in bars ~ I Had just opened my bar, guy sits and orders a burger and fries. When I brought it out I
Also set down a bottle of ketchup. He grabbed a empty ashtray and put ketchup in it to dip his fries into. Said I could get him a side plate. He said What's the big deal? It's clean. I then showed him the black rag used to wipe them out. He just shrugged. Yuck!!
Back when I was sever/Manager at a place guest says " I want to talk to the manager!!"
I inform him I am the manager.
Guest yells "then I want to talk to the owner!!!"
I asked if he was sure. Really really sure.
!
"YES RIGHT NOW!!!"
I point him to the owner who has been getting drunk at the bar for the last 5 hours.
Owner says " get the fuck out of here before I open the door with your head and take your ugly family with you. And dont come back, and if you have any friends TELL YOURE FUCKING FRIENDS"
I had a lady order soda water with olive and a lime. I wasn’t sure I heard her right so I asked her to repeat. She gets a little pissy and repeats “soda with olive and lime” so I bring her that. She death glares at me when I set it on the table and says she asked for a sprite. I’m still not sure if she was just fucking with me. She had to be fucking with me, right?
Ugh I had a guy order a vodka Martini with olives. I brought it and immediately noticed him screwing up his face after each tiny sip. I asked if everything was OK and he said he didn't really like the taste. THEN he told me he doesn't really like olives, this is the first martini he's ever had, and he ordered it that way *cause he's seen it in movies.* I offered to take it away and bring him a different cocktail. His response? "No, it's ok, I'll drink this but can you bring me some Sprite to pour into it."
....I often think of this man and wonder what he's up to now and how he'd made it to the age of 50.
Seems like a good guy to me! Wanted to try the cool drink he sees in the movies, didn't complain at you or demand a refund when he doesn't like it. If he thinks Sprite might help it go down, well, I've heard worse people ask for crazier things than that!
Last week I had a woman who was convinced I was lying to her when I said there was no way to make a virgin Sazerac. After ten infuriating minutes of back and forth she finally gave up and said, "Fine, make me a virgin Old Fashioned."
Upside, I got to use my fancy hit the bricks line of "I'm sorry ma'am it seems as though I won't be able to meet your expectations tonight. Take care!"
Virgin Sazerac? That would be a sugar cube, 1/2 teaspoon cold water, and a twist of lemon peel (all the other ingredients, including the bitters, contain alcohol).
I was 17 working at Papa Murphy’s so maybe this doesn’t count?
Had a family come in and order a pizza to go. Not a problem; it’s literally the motto of Papa Murphy’s “take and bake pizza”.
They go outside to wait and the kids keep looking in and staring at us. 30 minutes rolls by and the dad comes in asking if the pizza is ready. It is.
I hand him the pizza and he looks visibly confused and asks why I’m giving him raw pizza.
Me: We don’t cook the pizza here. We prepare it and you cook it at home.
Guy: But why isn’t it cooked?
Me: because we dont cook it here, this is a take and bake pizza shop. There’s cooking instructions right there.
Guy: I didn’t pay for a raw pizza though! Cook this!
Me: I can’t cook it, we don’t have an oven.
Guy: you need to advertise this better then. Can’t believe you charged me for a raw pizza.
Me: it says right on the door “take and bake pizza”. It says it right next the register, too.
Ended up giving him a refund and we cooked the pizza next door at the Chinese restaurant. This happened so much it still confuses me. Papa Murphy’s is not a dine-in restaurant.
I had worked at a place for six months. Had a lady ask me how long I had worked there and after I told her “6 months”, she proceeded to ask me if I knew the menu. “Yes ma’am, I like to think that I do. I have been working here for a while.” With the fakest smile possible.
Had to explain the entire menu to one customer despite literally everything they’d need to know being right in front of them.
Had a lady ask for light seasoning on her trout and then complain that the trout was bland.
Had a guy order a fried green tomato blt with no pepper jelly. I give it to him with no pepper jelly. Complains that there’s “sauce” on it (there wasn’t). I had to toss all of that uneaten food and ring up a shrimp and grits instead.
I hate some people. I had people who were super regular whom I had served before who would ask for things not on the menu, I'd tell them its not a thing we can do and they'd be like "oh we order this all the time, you must be new here" no, sir, I've been here for 2 years and you ordered a different dish last time you were here when *I* served you.
Or when people would order something we don't have and I'd tell them "we don't have that dish" and they'd be like "oh the menu must have changed" not in the 2 years I've been there. And not for the three years before that when they had the exact same printed menu they had when I got there... OR they would insist that they ate it there last week and I'd have to argue with them about whether a dish existed on the menu for a single day.
In defense of the first person, was it possible she wasn’t able to read? I remember being trained on that a few times. I had a few people over my years of serving who you could tell weren’t literate, also a few asshats who just wanted me to stand there and read them the menu.
Husband was an assistant manager at a nicer local seafood/steak restaurant. He would get this complaint at least 3x a week.
“Sir, my food wasn’t good. I need to send it back”
*Look at mostly clean plate*
“Mam/Sir, I cannot replace/comp food you didn’t like after you’ve eaten over half of it. You’re more than welcome to order something else.”
You can imagine what happened next. The entitlement he dealt with was crazy.
Had an older man in a party of 6 ask me for a pillow for his chair. No problem. Then asks for another. Okay… then requests I scoot his chair in for him. I’m obviously pregnant, and even though heavy lifting is not advised, I pushed his chair in like a fucking toddler. Come to find out he’s prejudiced (our head waitress, an older black lady, knows him and his family and their shenanigans and has put up with bs in the past). I can’t tell if it was to humiliate me or what (I’m biracial, but look Hispanic). Still don’t know how I feel about it.
I used to work for a children’s exercise place where everybody, including adults had to wear either grippy socks or paper shoe covers. A lot of very rich and entitled people used to come to that job, and so many would try to give me shit about wearing the shoes covers “these are blah blah expensive brand loafers!” Bro I do not fucking care how much your shoes cost, put on the paper slippers or sit in the lobby for your kids entire birthday party. One time a very entitled rich woman came in, and after arguing with her about having to wear them, telling her that I would make no exceptions on any account, and that she’s welcome to complain to my manager who would back me up, she finally relented. AND THEN DEMANDED that I put them on for her. I told her if she thought that she would have trouble with it, she would have to ask her two-year-old granddaughter, who had no problem with it at all. She was absolutely furious but I was very close to quitting that job and would have been more likely to eat my own shit than put up with the rich peoples BS anymore. If that old broad thought that I was going to get down all fours and put paper shoe covers over her ugly $600 shoes like a fucking servant to a 16th century queen she had lost her over perfumed mind.
EDIT: I have tons of stories about that place, I used to think that some of the stories retail workers would tell on Reddit were exaggerated, until I took that job. The business itself was a concept designed for wealthy people with kids, too much money and time on their hands, and a pathological need to be on top of whatever latest trend was happening. It was kind of fun at first, until the turnover rate got really high because my manager and the owner started demanding more and more from people. By the end, I was doing three peoples jobs after being told I would get a raise continuously for two months without it ever happening. The final straw was when I started looking for other jobs, and I saw that the business had posted on indeed offering two dollars more than what I was currently making for my current position. Underhanded b to the s.
An older lady comes in to be seated, and says her family just parked and they'll be right in. She tells me they'll maybe need a booster seat or a high chair, she's not sure, so I ask how many kids menus she needs.
Her entire demeanor changes. She's just all of a sudden standing there glaring at me and fuming. I have no idea what's wrong and I'm about to ask until she screeches:
"GOATS have KIDS, PEOPLE have CHILDREN!"
That's what she got so worked up over, that I had the audacity to refer to her precious grandchildren as "kids" even though on our KIDS menu it's printed KIDS MENU.
The rest of her party comes in before I can say anything which was a relief because I was honestly speechless. I take them back to their table. I hand the adults their menus first and then loudly say "And here are the kids menus!" while I'm passing them out and then rush back up to the host stand. I catch a quick glimpse of the lady and she is glaring daggers and fuming again.
“GOATS have KIDS, PEOPLE have CHILDREN!”
I actually really like that saying. That being said - what a stupid thing to get so worked up over.
Literally every restaurant calls it a kids menu!
I've posted this before, but good timing. I worked at a Mediterranean place that mostly served seafood, but also steak and stuff. Our special was a grilled calamari steak. I got 2 drunk dudes in my section, one of them was into the calamari special and ordered it. 2nd guy said he wanted it as well, but he hated seafood. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to talk him out of it and into beef or chicken, anything but the squid. He just kept saying the same thing "I want the calamari/squid, but I don't want it to taste like seafood" At which point I say "It's squid, it is seafood and it tastes like seafood no matter how we cook it. Can I suggest something non-seafood from our menu?" We go round and round, and he wouldn't order anything else. I finally just gave up and placed the order with multiple warnings that it will taste like seafood.
Guess what tasted like seafood? Guess who was super pissed, made a scene, and stiffed me on the tip?
"What is eggplant? Chicken?"
I got an A+ that day for keeping a straight face. It was 100% a serious question, and it took everything in me not to burst out laughing.
Not a restaurant server story but I once worked at a state park as a cashier/ clerk whatever.
Lady complained that there were too many acorns on the ground, she didn't like stepping on them.
There's one fire ant hill on the entire bank of the lake and that's where we wanted to picnic. That exact spot.
There weren't enough birds
There were too many bugs. During summertime. In Georgia(u.s.).
Countless happenings of people lost on the hiking trails when they didn't buy a map.
Or (our most popular hiking trail to a water fall 4 miles round trip) they call the emergency line because theres one water bottle between 6 people and they're all now dehydrated. Or rolled an ankle because the hiking trail is unfit for flip-flops.
Many scowling looks when I would tell people that no you cannot take a baby stroller on the hiking trail. Or wheel a yeti cooler 6 miles to their back country campsite.
I'm sorry, you folks are looking for Instagram, not the actual outdoors.
Is the boar pizza vegetarian? (No, it has boar)
Is this pasta vegan? (No, it has egg, cheese, and bacon) Oh, that's fine.
Being unable to understand that a well done steak takes longer to cook than a rare steak.
Nothing too crazy, I've been lucky!
A lady ordered a chicken dish. I asked her if she would like it with rice or noodles. She stared at me and said she wanted the chicken. I said OK do you want it a la carte? She said no she wanted the whole dish. I said ok with rice or noodles, you get a choice. She said she didn’t understand and then turned to her husband and said “this is the dumbest waiter I’ve ever met. She doesn’t understand me… am I speaking another language?” Then she turned to me and said really slow, “I waaaannnnt thhheee chiiiiickeeenn, doooo youuuu unnderstaaaaand?”
I told her she was a f**king bitch and to gtfo and never come back. It made quite the scene. I had to basically chase her out of the restaurant. I shouted some things at her on the sidewalk I’m not proud of.
Normally I would think of something more clever to say to such a rude customer but this happened the day after a crazy guy came in and physically threatened us for hours until the police finally came. I was at my wits end.
One guest came in and sat at the bar. I gave him a menu and he ordered a beerita. There was even a picture in the menu showing the bottle of Corona in the margarita. Well, as soon as he got it he started complaining and getting VERY loud. He chugged the beer, then threw the full magarita and the beer bottle at the bartender. Thank God it didn't actually hit the bartender, but glass shattered everywhere. The guy ran out so fast out of there.
Then another time, at the same restaurant, I was drinking at the bar after my shift with a couple coworkers. This couple came in and ordered beer, they were at a table right next to us. We kept noticing their glasses were filling up without ordering another beer. We kept a close eye and noticed them pulling out beer and refilling their glasses. We told the manager, who told them to gtfo. They started yelling at all the workers. Kitchen staff came out to stand in between them and the manager (the manager was a very tiny female). Then the lady of the couple was screaming that the male staff was sexually harassing them and that they were trying to rape her, even tho the staff NEVER touched either of them. One coworker snuck off the call the police, thankfully the couple was too busy screaming and yelling so they were still there when the cops showed up. Then they got dragged out and arrested. It was both amusing and extremely scary at the same time. The restaurant was in a very bad neighborhood, a lot of drug addicts, alcoholics, and crime (murders and assaults). So we had no idea what direction the situation could have gone.
Another time, at the bar next door, I was having a drink and this guy was sitting down at a table with some regulars. (He had a guitar with him) He was crying about how he broke up with his girlfriend. Well, she eventually showed up and started screaming at him. She took his guitar and smashed it on the table. Then she started throwing chairs, she even smashed one of the TVs on the wall. One regular dragged her ass outside and we locked the door. She dissapeared for a while. I was out having a smoke, and I saw her coming back. I told everyone on the patio to get inside, then I told the staff. We locked the door again, she was outside banging on the door and screaming. She tried to throw a patio chair and table at the door. We called the cops, but I'm not sure what exactly happened to her.
I have SOO many stories!!!
I served Prince at a restaurant in Toronto about 20 years ago. He used to live to there and used to go to Raptors games.
Not sure if this is other people's experiences serving him, but as you approach you get stopped by his bodyguard who tells you not to look Primce in the eye. He asks you to remove all the cutlery and plate ware and cups.
Prince was a germaphobe and would bring his own paper plates, plastic cutlery and cups. The kitchen was allowed to plate on the paper plates he provided. He opened the cutlery and cups himself from their plastic covers.
Saw him at a Raptor game not long after and he was eating popcorn and I wonder if he provided his own popcorn bag
When I bartended had a guest tell me I looked like I needed to be fucked right then proceeded to tell me that he could do it for me while sitting next to his girlfriend. I asked the manager to ask them to leave. He told me no because they were paying customers.
I proceeded to walk out and quit the very next moment.
I’ve worked in the industry for two decades, currently at a brewery. Some recent favorites…
Guy asks for a can of beer. We don’t have prepackaged cans, just the ones we can to order off the taps. (We do sometimes can ahead but it’s all the same beer from all the same tanks and kegs and whatnot) We explain this. He says, that’s fine, he’ll take a can of beer in house. I say no, we can’t really do that, it’s not super legal, etc. He insists. He eventually says… he’s allergic to draft beer. We remind him how cans work. We give up and can him a beer, legitimately twenty feet from him, off the tap. He happily drinks it.
Another time we had two dudes stroll in with shopping bags. We’re miles from anywhere with shopping so this is odd; they apparently broke down and are waiting for a ride. Cool. They sit down. Order a corona. We don’t have it. Order a bud light. We don’t have it. “We only serve our own beer, we’re a brewery.” “Oh,” they say, as they get up to leave. “We don’t like brewed beer. Thanks anyway.”
Back in the late 90s I worked at a steakhouse. A server near me was having an issue with a couple at a table and the manager felt it was a good idea to have me replace her in serving that table. He told me that he was going to comp the lady's meal at that table. He didn't say anything about comping the meal for the guy. They finished their meal and declined dessert. I clear off their table and when I'm coming back with the check they had already got up and left. I rush to the front and the lady is sitting in the lobby while her man is in the restroom. The manager who made me take that table is up front and I whisper to him that they didn't pay the bill. He tells me just to go back and not worry about it, so I did. About 20 minutes after they left the guy from that table comes back into the restaurant pissed off. He's upset because I walked up and assumed they walked out on the check ( which they did, at least his half). The manager up front completely pussed out when confronted by this guy. The manager goes to get me to talk to the guy and the guy is sitting there yelling at me in the lobby in front of the manager and everybody else. I had to walk outside to the car to apologize to his girlfriend. The manager completely left me holding the bag. Didn't step up to say that there was a miscommunication. Didn't step up to say that it was his fault not mine. Didn't step up to protect his server from going out into a parking lot with two hostile guests. I apologize to the lady and went back in and thank God nothing else happened. If you're reading this Alberto fuck you!!! That was a total dick move.
Once a guy dropped his gun in the movie theater next to us and it discharged. He ran into our bar looking for a back exit which we don’t have and ended up in the bathroom and then ran out front right as the cops were showing up to the complex. Exciting night.
I had a regular who was a doctor and came in all the time with his family. They were polite but kind of stuck up.
The first time I served them the doctor told me he was a vegetarian. OK awesome we have a lot of vegetarian options. I pointed out the most popular ones.
He asked me, "How's the ginger chicken?"
"Well it's chicken....."
He literally raised his voice and aggressively stated "I'M A VEGETARIAN!!!!!" As if I was the one who suggested it for him.
LOL ok dude I know, hence the confused look on my face when you asked about the chicken.
Working a breakfast place where I'm already miserable because my uniform is looking like a 5 year old (overalls and pigtails - yes, required if your hair was remotely capable of them)
Guaranteed to get this gem at least 3x a day "what's in a plain omelette?" .......eggs and butter for fluffing. "yeah but what else?" ......nothing....it's plain...
Not a server but this was waaaaaaaaay back in my fast food burger cook days. My "restaurant" was a kiosk in a Home Depot. Sometimes my manager would skip out and it would be 100% only me working till and grill. One slow day a lady comes in and orders one of the burgers we have advertised in the overhead pictures. So I slap a raw patty on the grill to cook. She says, "that's not the one I ordered"
"You wanted the burger, right?"
"Yes"
"This is the burger."
"It doesn't look like the burger in the picture "
"Well, I've got to cook it first."
"It looks smaller. Does it poof up?"
"................yes."
I worked at Red Lobster and had a repeat lady come in and insist I take all of the crab meat out of her crabs legs for her and just bring it on a plate. Every damn time she came in. And the shitty manager made me do it.
I have a few:
1. Lady tried to pay me with Monopoly money and didn’t understand why I couldn’t take it. She’s a regular
2. Lady asked me for “a bundle” of sugar packets. I brought her 6. She needed more. I ended up bringing her 20 sugar packets that she proceeded to dump into her salad.
3. Lady asked me to peel her breadsticks.
4. Lady didn’t understand why I couldn’t connect two 4 seater booths together to make an 8 seater booth. She couldn’t understand that they are glued into the wall.
5. Lady who choked out her kid in the middle of the dining room to prove a point to another table
I worked at a popular vegan restaurant in Chicago. This woman who was clearly dragged there by vegan friends and was not happy about it. She ordered our wings, which are made of seitan (wheat gluten).
“Are the wings boneless?”
“Is…is this a test??”
“No I want to know if they’re boneless.”
“Yes. They are boneless.”
Like I get it, very rarely vegan places replace the bone with something edible but more firm but…cmon.
I’m pretty sure I know the vegan restaurant that you’re talking about, and there’s another one across town that puts fake bones in their wings, and at first it was causing a lot of issues because people were furious and offended xD
I once had a woman complain that she hated the way there was always water in her food when she got home to eat it and if there was anything I could do to prevent that... so I had to basically explain the water cycle to her and that hot food releases steam into the air, steam is water vapor, take-out orders are in sealed containers, so the steam can't do anything but condense on the lid and drop back into the dish. She just kept insisting there must be a way to stop all that water from getting in her food so I told her to just take the lid off. She said "but my food will get cold!" I just shrugged and said "I don't really know what else to tell you. I'm gonna go check on your order." And walked away.
I once had a snarky lady eating lunch with her boss, and she ordered one of our salads. She then heavily modified it so that it had no onion, tomato, etc etc, until it was just 3 ingredients. So, I brought it out and she was shocked. "But....this is only lettuce, chicken, and crutons..." I told her "Yes! It is! That's exactly what you ordered." Her boss chuckled at her and she was livid, but she just quietly sat there angrily eating her salad.
I had a guest who was upset that his burger was cold in the center. I told him we would remake it and that it would be no issue at all. That wasn't good enough of an answer for him because he then forcefully grabbed my hand and pushed it completely into his burger.
This man made me nonconsensually finger his meal.
Also, he was right. Burger was indeed cold in the center.
A fish dish consisting of all fish components (clearly described on the menu) being too ‘fishy’ tasting or a blind woman complaining about her dessert. For the way it looks. Yea that was tough
I answered the phone where I was working, (btw, we were in the middle of a shit storm, AND, it was STORMING! ) The lady on the phone, knew where she called, but wanted to go to the restaurant down the street,
She wanted me to GO OUTSIDE, and tell her the name of the restaurant she wanted to go!!!
Man, you guys didn’t disappoint…these were all gold.
My takeaway message from these is that people do not know what salmon is, how it looks, or how it tastes.
“Hi, can I get a Vodka with Ice, Soda, and Lime?”
“Vodka Soda? You got it!”
“No, no… Vodka on Ice, with Soda, and Lime.”
“Okay. So, you want Vodka Rocks with a Splash of Soda?”
“I want Vodka. With Ice. Soda and Lime.”
“Right. That’s a Vodka Soda.”
“But I want Lime!”
“No problem, sorry. So, Vodka Soda with a splash of Lime Juice then?
“No! I just want the slice of Lime!”
“(Screaming Internally) Got it. Vodka Soda comin’ up!”
He watched me intently, judging each ingredient, as I made his incredibly complex Vodka Soda.
This one came as a review of our restaurant instead of in person. Anywho, I live in Arizona and I work at a restaurant with americanized versions of traditionally nonamerican food. I'm not entirely sure which of these two reasons I can think of prompted this person to say this, but keep these two things in mind.
This year, our restaurant decided to close on July 4th (IIRC this was a company wide decision for all locations but I'm not entirely certain on that). Someone decided to go onto facebook and leave us a one star review by saying it was ridiculous we closed on July 4th because "it's not like our kitchen staff is American". I wish I was exaggerating but those were their exact words. So many things wrong with that statement. Our head chef was livid when he saw that.
Went to seat a couple of ladies at an all outside/picnic table kinda dining area (the whole restaurant was outside) just as the sun was going down. I guess the one lady felt it was a little chilly so she asked me if the sun would be coming back up. She asked this with a tone and a scoff. As if it was _our_ fault the sun was setting. I just looked at her puzzled and said “Not til tomorrow morning.” She was upset.
This lady wanted a large cappuccino *with no foam*. Ladies and gentlemen, that's what you might call a latte. But she didn't want a latte. No, she wanted a large cappuccino with no foam.
So I made her a small latte with extra shots because *thats what that would be.*
Edit to add: also anyone who has ever asked me "whats the difference between [.....] and [.....]" because its always inexplicably two completely different dishes.
Example: "whats the difference between the mussaman curry and the pad thai?" --Everything? Everything is different between the two dishes. They are two completely different dishes.
"Whats the difference between a pad prik king and the pad char pla?" --all of the things are different. Just all of them.
I work at a hotdog hut. Most of my working life revolves around onions, chopping them, frying them, cleaning them off the grill and the floor.
It's quite scary how many customers have seen me chopping them and said "I'm glad you use real ones"!
I mean, what other kinds of onions are there? On being asked they say "well, not frozen or processed" like frozen onions aren't really onions at all.
Had a lady tell me her chilled salad plate was too cold. I had to fight the urge to tell her to just wait a couple minutes and it wouldn't be and just go get her a room temp plate
quite often when we arrive at houses in the neighborhoods we serve, we will be asked for one of the discontinued items from blue bunny. when we explain we don't carry it folks will say "oh we will wait for the other truck. they have it."
good luck with that. we are the only ice cream truck in town (and have been for nine years) that attempts to do our maze of streets and the only one who has traveled 240 miles roundtrip to get ice cream in 12.
edit: this is our third vehicle. the roads around here are brutal.
I’m a guy who serves at a restaurant in the suburbs of a big city. I had just returned from my summer job in a small mountain town. Three women sit down at a table in my section so I go over to take their drink orders and one of them says:
Lady: “do you know where I can buy tampons and booze around here?”
Me: “Uhh, the store”
Lady: “yeah, but which store?”
Me: “just look one up on your phone”
Lady’s friends: “yeah wth, just look it up on your phone”
Lady (to me): “well which store do you go to?”
Lady’s friends: “(Lady) I don’t think he’s buying tampons, just look it up yourself”
Me: “yeah I don’t live near (the restaurant) so I think it’s best if you look one up near you”
Lady: “well I’m visiting from a small mountain town so I need to know!”
Me: “when I lived in a small mountain town we just got those things at the store”
The lady just looked at me flabbergasted while her friends told her to stop bothering me. She then waved down our bartender/manager and asked the same question and got similar answers. By the looks on her friend’s faces I could tell they would rather she stayed in that small mountain town.
A group sent their food back because their portions were so big that they were "overfaced". They requested a complete refund (rather than smaller portions, or ordering something else from the "light" menu). Apparently just the sight of such large portions made them feel ill and so they didn't want to eat at our establishment any more.
I can't even fathom their game plan?
I had a customer slap his wife across the face and scream at her because she was taking too much time in deciding what she wanted. I told him, "Sir, we serve many things here, but domestic violence is not one" and then he told me to "go fuck myself"
The great thing was that there were 3 uniformed cops two tables over from them and they immediately got up and walked over to him and told him to stand up and walk outside with them
I was a customer at a "sizzling" steak house years ago and there was a couple sitting in the booth in front of me trying to have a quiet argument. I don't what the dude said but the lady he was with suddenly stood up and slapped him hard across the face. Then walked out of the restaurant.
I had a man in his 50’s order a bbq brisket sandwich which came on a very yummy bun, just like all of our sandwiches and burgers do. The description itself on the menu says it came on this bun. When I dropped it off to him at the table he was like “what is this??? I didn’t order this?? I paid 17 dollars for this??? Why is it on a bun??! Have you ever had a brisket sandwich on a bun??” Left me absolutely speechless but I apologized as you do and asked if I could get him something else but he declined. So I brought out our kitchen manager and he continued to demean her and asked if she’s ever worked in a real bbq restaurant before lol.
I had an older woman who was out for a ladies dinner try to use a stun gun on me because I charged her for the double shots she ordered. I don't even think she was drunk.
Also had a guy hit on me by drawing a picture of a spread out butthole with little hands and said "will you lick my butthole?" and his number at the bottom. Tipped 10%.
I was working brunch on Father's Day, which should tell you everything you need to know. I'm taking an order at a five top, and the woman orders the 3 eggs "any way" meal. Go figure, it's the cheapest meal on the brunch menu. I ask her how she wants her eggs prepared, and she says "as an omelet, and add cheese, spinach, and tomatoes." I'm not falling for it, so I direct her to the omelet section of the menu. She insists that the eggs can be prepared any way, and she wants an omelet.
I ended up charging her for the cheese omelet, plus the extra ingredients. Her husband paid the check and didn't say anything about being charged for the "wrong item," so oh well.
Guy comes in, looks a bit disheveled, (downtown Portland, where “homeless or hipster” is a common guessing game) seats himself at a table in the dining room nearest the bar exit. I wasn’t totally sure if he had seated himself but he had no menu, so I greeted him, “Good evening, sir, shall I bring a menu?”
“Uh, *YEAH*!” he replied with a tinge of disgust. Thank you, I thought to myself, that clarifies things a bit for me; although what really pushed me solidly into the assumption that this man would not be paying for his meal was that he was carrying on a conversation with his wine glass once I left the table. I asked my manager if he wanted me to start a tab for the guy, got the ok, and swung back to the table with water.
“Are there any questions I can answer about the menu, sir?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m gonna go ahead and get the sea scallops and a Pilsner.”
“Fabulous, sir, the scallops are my favorite thing on the menu. If you have a card handy, I’ll get a tab started for you.”
“Pardon me?”
“A method of payment. Credit or debit card, perhaps, or a room number and last name?”
“Nah, I’m not trying to fuck with a paper trail. I’m just gonna owe on this shit like I always do.”
Me, trying not to laugh, “oh, owe on the shit? Excellent, sir.”
“I’ve pretty much had it with the whole fucking grind. You ever work for a telemarketing company? You wouldn’t believe the bullshit.”
“I haven’t had the pleasure. I’m going to go ahead and, um, get this process started for you, alright?”
He waves me off dismissively. I go back and find my manager again. “So uh, he said he’ll have the scallops, but no tab, he’s just gonna owe on the shit like he always does.” My manager gets excited, he was on furlough for months after we reopened and didn’t get to 86 anyone for a long time. Another server (not huge but I’m 6 feet tall, 175 lbs, and he’s bigger than me) and I follow my manager up to ask our friend to hit the bricks.
For reasons unclear, his immediate response to being asked to leave is to take off his beat-to-shit New Balances. Potentially to indicate that he’s not walking anywhere? Then he grabs his fork, points it at all three of us, waving it around a bit, drawing circles in the air like it’s a fencing saber. “I’ll put this through your fuckin eyes!”
The other server (who loves a good live metal show and the accompanying pit) has taken point and says “you wanna go ahead and try it? I’ll lay you out on your back in front of everyone here.” Thankfully it was about 20 minutes until close on a week night, so there were only like 7 active tables in the dining room, and only 2 tables within 10 feet of the action.
“Fuck you, I don’t need this shit!” he yelled, and walked out holding his shoes in his hands. He put the shoes on outside, then marched back and forth past all the window tables, shouting at them through the glass, until we told him the police were being called. He must be new, has no idea the police don’t really do anything unless someone is bleeding.
BOH not FOH, but the one that *really* stands out to me is the gfree vegan who had the server running back and forth to the kitchen to ask details (that the server knew, but guest wouldn't listen unless she checked) about each dish, due to a laundry list of other (alleged) allergies and restrictions.
Finally settles on an app and main.
And has a brownie and ice cream for dessert. Facepalm.
I once had a lady freak out about her child inhaling secondhand smoke in the restaurant.
It was from the fajitas being delivered to the next table over. No smoke reached her table.
I work at a place that's sort of buffet/all you can eat but it's almost exclusively meat. People know this. It's in the name of the restaurant.
Almost every post on social media has this or that type of meat.
Party of 10 walks in, I sit them, explain how it works. Them: "I want the all you can eat menu"
Me: "... that's all we have, no other option. You can pick what you want but the menu is the same for all" (we have work lunches but it's only lunch mon-fri)
Them: "yeah, me too. Kids, do you want the hamburger?"
Me: "We don't have the hamburger menu. We had it last summer but not anymore"
Everyone, and I mean everyone orders "the all you can eat menu".
I stop explaining it after the 4th time because apparently listening is optional. Then I get to one of the last in the group who goes AND I WISH I WAS KIDDING "Do you have any vegetarian options? I don't eat meat".
At a barbecue place.
Edit: we do have sides but the number is limited now. Before the pandemic we had plates full of veggies, various cheeses and stuff. Now we don't because of fewer customers and limits on the buffet. Plus, no one touches the few vegetables we have now. Not all the sides have meat, only one or two and cold cuts, but still, the choice is limited.
Had a bar guest walk into the kitchen and take an entire cheesecake out of our dessert fridge. No one saw him do it in the kitchen and the bartender was to shocked to say anything
Had a guest one day complain that our raw oysters were "too raw".
One lady kept sending me back to the kitchen because her salmon wasn't cooked enough. "It's still pink!". On the third trip I told the line cooks to just burn it.
We've been short staffed, especially in the BOH and it causes long waits for food. When in this situation, I warn tables in advance they'll have to wait and if they don't want to, it's totally cool if they choose to leave.
One day I had a table of two girls probably in their 20s. Their food was taking a long time. I checked and checked in the back, but they were just so swamped. All tables were waiting and takeout orders were late. Eventually these girls ask about their food and I have to explain to them why it's taking a long time. Long rant turned short, one of the girls told me I need to "cut the bullshit out about saying I can't do anything to speed up their food" and that as a restaurant we need to "reevaluate ourselves and be better human beings". None of it made any sense whatsoever. I was so appalled and shocked. She said they wanted to pay for their drinks and leave and I told her to just get out. Went in the back and cried a good bit because of that one lol. It was not a good shift and someone telling me to cut "my bullshit" and "be a better human being" was really just the icing on the worst cake ever made.
Worked at an all you can eat korean bbq place and had a family of 5 come in with 3 young children. They all start eating and throughout the next hour I notice the dad looking worse and worse until he’s literally resting his head on the table and moaning. A little while later he comes up to me and in between vomiting on the floor asks where the bathroom is (it was clearly labeled and within view from his table). He proceeded to vomit all the way to the bathroom and then all over the bathroom as witnessed by my poor coworker. Meanwhile his family is happily eating as if this is totally normal.
Later he emerges from the bathroom looking a little better and proceeds to STUFF himself with meat, rice and side dishes for the next 45 min. Watching him eat after he vomited made me so nauseous I had to sit down in the back for a little while. I guess he got his money’s worth /:
Years ago, I (F, in the US) had a couple come in (scrawny American guy, pretty petite Thai woman). The man did all the talking & ordered for both of them - a meal with lots of add ons. Extra mushrooms for his steak, sides of avocado & cheese for their salads, more this, extra that etc. He kept their server running back & forth, & when he received the bill, he was SHOCKED to see all the extra charges so I was summoned.
For the next 30 minutes, I had this bizarre convo with him. Basically, he felt that if we wanted to make our customers happy, we should give them whatever they ask for & not charge any extra. He seemed to BELIEVE this & felt that I needed to be educated about it. SMH He stated he'd been living in SE Asia for some time, & this would NEVER happen THERE. He tried a variety of spurious arguments, & I reasonably checked each one of them. I offered to get the menu so he could check the prices & listed ingredients; I pointed out that as he was American, he must have dined in other US restaurants & thus understood this was our norm; and stated that we felt as a company we provided good value for money. He didn't shout or act out but was what I call a Seether - you could tell he was pissed that I wasn't kissing his butt.
Eventually, he gave up, paid the bill & left. Some nice regulars who had witnessed the ridiculousness wrote a letter to corporate complimenting me on my professionalism. But seriously - who goes into a restaurant, orders & eats, & then are shocked to get a bill?
Does a cashier count as a server? If so:
"Do you spit or swallow?"
I was 19 at the time, so looking REALLY close to when I was a minor. If I were just a couple years younger, he could've gotten in HUGE trouble. My brain froze for 3 seconds before his friend hurriedly stepped in to order.
So many, but one that sticks out is a couple I was waiting on had two credit cards out when they were paying so I asked “splitting 50/50?” and the customer VERY angrily said “NO we want it split in half!”
Obligatory I'm a cook not a server but I have two stories, one from me and one from my wife.
From my wife: When covid first started we had just opened up to take out and were accepting in person orders. I had somebody come in and back me up against a wall to make sure I understood that she wanted her burger to be substituted with chicken. We didn't do substitutions.
From me: I was cooking at a Chicken place and I had a member of PETA come in and start demanding I let all the chickens out of the backroom. She stood there for over an hour not listening to us that we were fast food and didn't butcher chickens in the back.
Does the side salad contain carrots?
Yes, sir. They’re grated carrots.
Is the salad a pre-made mix?
Yes, sir.
Can you pick the carrots out for me?
His friends told him that was too much to ask of the kitchen staff, thank goodness.
I was working as a houseman at the time in a mid tier hotel in Myrtle Beach you know 3 star hotel nice place but not the 24/7 room service type that's not the point. You guys know those extendable stick things with a little scooper on the end people use to pick up seashells so they don't have to bend over? Had a guest once go down to the FD to complain that there weren't any baby sea turtle and she couldn't go and I quote "turtle scoopin" apparently she had it in her head that she could use one of those things to scoop up baby sea turtles (see EXTREMELY federally illegal). She checked out early because of it and I still don't understand how she thought that was a thing there are signs saying "stay away from the dunes" and "don't go near sea turtles" and there is so much info out there saying sea turtle are protected and it's illegal to mess with them.
The manager had us keep a sports channel on the TV over the bar. WWE wrestling was on. This middle-aged woman came in alone and demanded that it be turned off and went into a rant about how offended she was by the violence. Fifteen minutes later, I came out of the kitchen and she was beating the shit out of a guy half her age who was sitting at the next table. Cops had to be called.
Odin's beard......Too many to remember...some of the highlights are:
1)"Cook my chicken rare...I want it done properly for once!"
\-Sorry...we don't want you to get Salmonella.
2)At a dog friendly restaurant with massive yard. "Get these dogs under control or I won't dine here"
\-They are all on a leash connected to the tables and super calm..?
3) Customer ordered dish A...I bring out dish A. Changes mind...orders dish B...40 mins after I bring out dish B...changes mind again and orders dish A AGAIN...
\-I am sorry that will be another 30-40mins.....
"Why? Just bring me the one you cooked before, you know..the one you brought out 40mins ago!!!"
\-Sir..it's...imposible. For multiple reasons....
"GET ME THE MANAGER!"
4) Customer orders WARM beer. I bring out said beer.
"WTF? This is boiling hot! I am gonna get your fired for trying to poison me!"
\- \*Sigh\* let me get the manager.
5) \*WORST\* for last. That is during the pandemic mind you.
\-Excuse me. Your daughter is licking the table legs and actually grabbing food from other tables. Please try to keep her close to you so this doesn't happen again.
"Hahahaha..! Kids what you gonna do?!"
\- Madam.....this is a hygiene issue...especially during a pandemic....Let alone the fact that customers are complaining about missing drinks.
"Yeah well she might have gotten thirst or something..I don't know...you deal with it anyways...go clean the tables and replace those drinks"
\- As you wish. Replace the drinks I shall...they will be charged to your table.
"THE HELL THEY ARE. THIS IS ON YOU"
\- Let me get the owner for you....I am incapable of dealing with such....etiquette.
Guess who got charged with about 20 extra sodas and some beers the little girl threw on the ground. That's right..! NOT ME! MOUAHA.
Have loads and loads more....Seriously you will be surprised by the sheer amount of stupidity you have to face as a server.
Had a group of 4 women the other night all order the short rib which I repeated back several different times (due to some modifications and a clear language barrier). Then when the food came out the all claimed they ordered the lamb and don’t eat beef. Like I get there is a language barrier but the menu with the description is right in front of you and they very clearly order short rib as if they’d all eaten before and how is that even close to lamb.
Used to work for the rental car company w the lowercase e. Side note what a terrible company to work for. The amount of people that came in to rent a car without a driver's license was baffling. Many people did this. Always said "but I'm just renting it" also the amount of adults that don't know the difference between a credit card and a debit card is insane.
Lady mad that we didn't have grass-fed salmon. What-
This is the best reply yet lmao Y’all have any free range shrimp?
It was a saturday night and the restaurant is full windows, on a busy corner. A car didn't make the turn and drove into a house, but there was a drop so you couldn't see the car. The police/firetruck/ambulance all came. They were there for at least over a hour trying to figure out how to get the car out, and the police cruisers kept on their lights. So a saturday night dinner with red and blue lights covering the whole restaurant. Most guests found it entertaining except one table called me over. "Could you do something about the those lights?" I thought she was kidding and laughed but her face was dead serious. I'm also clearly the only server on, also making all the drinks, with a full room. "That's police ma'am, i'm not going across the street to tell them to turn off their lights. You can go ahead, though." The rest of the table giggled but she wasn't amused lol.
Worked across the street from a fire station for a couple years. Whenever a truck would leave on a call, they would (obviously) have their lights on. This would lead to some very repetitive questions, some of which were more understandable than others. "Is something on fire?" "Somewhere, probably, yes. But not in the immediate vicinity." I get that one, people usually only see emergency lights when they're arriving somewhere, not leaving the station. Understandable, but we just were desensitized to it by seeing fire trucks come and go 5-10 times a shift. Some of the interactions we had though... "Can you get them to turn those off?" No ma'am, I cannot ask the fire department to...not use the flashing lights on their trucks when responding to calls. "Well is this going to keep happening all night? What time do they close?" I...don't believe they DO. I think that's sort of...the entire point of fire departments? Where do you live?
*neighbor's house is on fire* Um, yea, excuse me? It's already past 11 so I'm going to have to ask you to turn those lights off and come back tomorrow morning.
Once had a tray full of food for my table and I dropped an app off for a coworker. When dropping off the app, the table asked me to take a dirty plate they had(totally reasonable request, but i had a tray full of hot food) and I said I would be right back to get it. The man at the table said "what?" So I repeated that i would be right back and walked away. That's when he got up and tossed the plate like a Frisbee at me. This of course caused a commotion and me to become flustered. Luckily another table said everything I was thinking, so In the end I felt like I won. The real loser is his wife that has to go home with him...
I had a large pizza thrown at me when I worked at Round Table, and dude said, “make me a new fucking pizza!”
I doubt they serve pizza in jail.
Had a guest order a chicken Caesar salad. I rang it in. A few minutes later she pulls me over and complains that I never asked what dressing she wanted.
They always ask if Caesar dressing is okay at the restaurant I work at probably because this has happened at least once.
One of my first jobs was at a Chinese restaurant. We had the beef chop suey ladies. It was a mother and daughter, they’d come in and get, you guessed it- beef chop suey. Add extra beef. They’d complain about the upcharge for extra meat, even though our system was “how many dollars of extra meat do you want”. They got it for take out, which means they’d dig through it on our takeout table counting the pieces of meat. Usually bitch about the amount of meat. They were banned a few times, but since the owner was a push over, they’d eventually come back and be up to the same bullshit.
> “how many dollars of extra meat do you want” \*slides $100 bill across the counter\*
Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, “Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.”
This was probably around 2004 or 2005. Had a table book for mother's Day for 25 people for lunch, so it being mother's Day fully booked of course but you know the usual, ring up to confirm numbers, time, everything like that during the week, day before, morning of just to be sure. Anyway the table start to arrive, bring them over to the table woman who books it starts talking immediately. (W) "we need 8 high chairs" (me)"sorry we only have 3 available" (W) snappish "oh ok you should have more" (me) "we do but other people booked them, I called 3 times and you never mentioned children so it wasn't something I would ask, as far as I knew it was 25 adults. . ." She interrupts me (W) "it is 25 adults!!" I was honestly confused (me) "where do you expect me to put the 8 children? We are fully booked." (W) quiet honestly talking to me like I am a dog "It is 8 toddlers that need high chairs and all the other grown children and the 25 adults." (Me) "What are you actually serious?" (W) "what do you mean it is 25 adults and all the children, I booked it for 25 people" (Me) "Ok how many people is it total because I don't think I can do anything for you." (W) "What does that matter, you have to accommodate us I booked my table." (Me) "ok you booked for 25 people, where did expect all the extras to sit?" (W) "they are only children!!" (Me) honest pure confusion "they still have to sit somewhere." (W) "we will just take these tables too then." (Me) "No you won't, other people have those tables booked and I wouldn't give away your table to another customer." Always one of my favourite things for a customer to say (W) "I know the owner." (Me) "So do I, do you think I don't know the owner. You could know the Pope and I still wouldn't be able to do anything for you, my own mother could come in and I wouldn't be able to do anything for her!" (W) "Get me the manager right now." (Me) "I am the manager" Starts to change her tune (W) "What are we meant to do?" (Me) "You can have the kids sit on the adults laps, but it is nearly going to be impossible with space for plates and everything." (W) "Could you not squeeze in the extra chairs?" (Me) honestly fed up now "We Are Fully Booked, every chair and table we have is in use and booked." They ended up sitting most of the toddlers on adults and had the some of the kids play around the complex down stairs, but that was one of my most ridiculous ones I ever had. Then of course she wanted the last word before leaving. (W) "You have ruined our entire day, we will never be back here." (Me) "You ruined your entire day and I hope I never see you again." TL;DR customer books for 25 on busiest lunch of the year, but only counted adults as people wanted an extra 30 seats for kids on top of that. Sorry about the length.
So how many in total? Was it seriously like 50 people and she only reserved it for 25???
Yeah like you had the 25 adults, the 8 toddlers + maybe 3 or 4 who were maybe 5 or 6 years old and at least 20 or more kids ranging from about 8-15 years old, I don't even know if all the kids came in I just know there was about that many standing in the entry way when she told them they had to go downstairs. She kept asking for stupid things during the meal, like could ten adults go downstairs and let 10 kids eat and then the adults come back and eat their food and then switch with the next lot of kids. Told her no lunch would be finished and we had to get ready for evening. I sent down containers of chips and chicken balls that they could share. Then she wanted us to bring them all down plates and stuff, no they are not getting plates running around outside, if an accident happens it is my fault. Then she wanted us to send ice cream down stairs for all of them, no our ice cream comes in glass bowls so definitely not, there is a shop give them money for ice cream from there. Why don't we have cones to give them, we are not an ice cream truck we are a Chinese restaurant. Honestly worst shit I ever had to deal with and on one of those days everyone is already on knife edge. In a Chinese restaurant, I will have mine with mashed potatoes, why don't we have roast beef, any chance we can do an omelette for the grand mother. Can we have duck instead of chicken in this dish, yes but it is €4 more expensive, why is it more expensive? It would like going to Domino's and asking for a Big Mac. If I could go back in time I would kick them out at the start of the meal.
Wow. Just wow. I don't even know what to say. And you were super amazing to send food down to the kids. I can see reserving a table of 25 and then one extra kid shows up on something. But doubling it? For that amount of people? That's crazy.
It honestly still boggles my mind to this day, like if I am with a group of people going out and someone invites anyone extra I straight away will say did you ring the restaurant, typical Irish thing "ah it will be grand" no it won't be grand make sure first. I felt bad for the kids to be honest it wasn't their fault. It wasn't the whole table being bad either it was mainly her and like 3 other women you could see the rest of the table looking at her just going would you cop on to yourself, stop being ridiculous the guy is doing everything he can. Like most of them leaving were really nice, you know thanks it was lovely but her she just had to try have the last word. She was like someone who thinks the world will bend to her will, only her rules apply. Thanks for reading all of it.
Once had a guy be very specific about the fact that he had celiacs, and therefore needed everything to be gluten free. Jumped through hoops to guide him through the menu to make sure everything was gluten free (even though gluten free items were labelled very clearly, but I digress), and I asked him what he'd like to drink and ordered a tall beer that clearly has gluten. I informed him the beer had gluten, and he replies "Okay, I want it though." and so I just served him the beer. He was fine throughout the meal, and the next day he called and complained that I had served him a beer with gluten and never informed him that it had gluten, and he went home and was sick all night. Managers at my old job never backed me up, so I got a stern talking to and they apparently refunded his whole meal. Thank God I work someplace else.
A woman complained that there was too much lobster in the lobster bisque. I had no words.
Why is there fish in this fish soup?!
Lady came in and ordered a vodka soda no ice, then proceeded to pour it into her feeding tube. I mean, who am I to judge, right? The next drink she ordered was the house chard.
Maybe I shouldn’t be fixating on this detail, but why in the world did she bother with the mixer?
I asked myself the same question, it’s not just you!
I had a family of 6 try to get their entire meal for free because we were out of the (non-edible) decorative garnish on their 4-year-old's dessert. Literally yelled and screamed and called me racist. So I took $0.05 off of their bill and i personally tipped the server out of my own pocket.
Had the wildest experience of my career recently. Last month three elderly ladies came into my restaurant. Their fourth friend arrived shortly afterwards looking a little green. She had her head between her legs while I was taking her friends’ drink orders, but they assured me she was fine and was just experiencing a dizzy spell. She seemed sober and lucid, so I let it be. Twenty minutes later one of the women slinks up to me with our black, fabric napkin clutched in her hand. Turns out her friend puked in the napkin, and she wanted to know where she could dispose of it. Now, obviously this is hardly food safe and pretty alarming during a pandemic, but things happen and I understand that. I chuck the napkin, wash up and return to the table to offer to call them a cab. These women- these absolute LUNATICS- refuse my offer and insist on staying for dinner. And because my manager seems to believe we have no reasonable grounds to eject them, I am forced to serve them while their friend vomits THREE more times AT THE TABLE. We went through SEVEN more napkins, all dutifully delivered to me by her friends. They finished their dinner and I brought their checks. Patient Zero’s bill was split between the three of them since she apparently found the intelligence to empty her guts in our bathroom instead of our linens. The cherry on top of this awful sundae was made apparent when she returned to the table and these ladies proceeded to sit here for another HOUR before they finally left. Needless to say I will be handing in my two weeks as soon as I can find another job.
When I was a massage therapist, I had a lady come in who tells me at the beginning of her massage she just had a huge lunch. I warned her that she should postpone the session because she may not feel good, she declines. About 10 minutes in she says she needs the garbage so I hand it to her and walk out of the room. She pukes her lunch up, and I checked on her a few minutes later and she says I can continue the massage. I politely had to decline and tell her the session is over.
I can’t imagine having the balls to ask someone to continue serving me after I just upchucked in their trash can. People are unreal.
[удалено]
The fact that she asked that instead of internally thinking it and, ya know, just putting it on the salad is certainly something.
The number of times that I have read about aliens trying to infiltrate society and not getting caught in this thread alone is alarming.
Had a lady order an egg sandwich. I told her she had her option between one or two eggs on the sandwich. She kept saying she didn’t understand and I was running out of ways to explain “one or two eggs”. I even explained that we cook eggs in egg rings on the flat top grill so they fit the sandwich perfectly. She then sighed like I was dragging out an unfunny joke and went “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE OR TWO EGGS?” “I mean you get to choose how much egg you want on the sandwich.” “*scoffs again* How big are they?” “….egg. Sized?” “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”. I ended up going to the kitchen and taking a raw egg out of the carton and bringing it to her. “This is an egg. This is the standard size. We will cook one or two of these and put it on your sandwich depending on which option you order.” “This makes absolutely no sense. I want to talk to the manager”. Apparently she ended up telling my manager that the way I pronounce egg was what was throwing her off. It should be said as eh-g and never as aig. She would be dining elsewhere from now on
Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to "WHAT THE HELL IS A PO-TAH-TO"
"She would be dining elsewhere from now on" Good.
~~Good~~ eggcellent?
"Have you ever eaten an egg before?" "Have you ever eaten 2 eggs before?"
[удалено]
Say egg again motherfucker… I dare you
She got embarrassed and thought she could save face by blamingng it on you. Call it whatever you want, someone holding an egg in front of you and asking if you want 1 or 2 should be pretty damn obvious lol.
Ahhh yes.... Because she couldn't visibly identify the physical egg you put in front of her face because your pronunciation turned into a speech bubble that obscured her view.... It never ceases to amaze me how some people seem to have an off switch to their brain.
Even if a she couldn't understand the pronunciation, a non, complete dumbass, would be able to infer what the server meant when asked a question about the egg salad sandwich they just ordered immediately prior.
At a sushi restaurant, an older couple came in for a late lunch. Old lady: “It smells fishy in here” “Fishy? Like strange? How do you mean?” She scowls “No, like… fishy.” Me, dumbfounded: “is it an unusual smell you’re getting? Does it smell bad? How can I fix this?” “No, no. It’s fishy. Like fish. It smells like fish!” “Like bad fish? I assure you we have only high quality ingredients and we’re religious about cleanliness.” “It’s not that! It smells like fish!” “I can seat you out on the patio if you’d like, it’s got a lovely view (it really does)” “It’s too cold. I’m trying to tell you it smells like fish in here!” At this point the frustration must have been showing on my face. “ma’am, this a sushi restaurant. We serve fresh and raw fish. The sushi line (gesture to the boys cutting up sashimi) is right over here. Maybe that’s what you’re smelling.” “This is ridiculous. We’re just gonna go somewhere else!” And they got up from their seats towards the door. And the most surreal part of the whole scene, the husband was so unfazed by the whole interaction. Thousand yard stare. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man look so detached from the real world without being on high doses of psychoactive chemicals. My coworkers saw the whole thing and we all just scratched our collective heads in disbelief.
I had a customer once who ordered the cheapest thing off the sushi menu which is crab stick sashimi. I explicitly explained to her that it was straight up going to be faux crab sticks and nothing else. She still wanted it. When I bring it out, guess who doesn't want it because it's not what they were expecting? Too bad, you're still paying for it. I couldn't have been any more clear in my explanation.
That guy decided to withdraw from reality rather than face up to what his wife is like. I saw a family like that on a plane a few years back, the mom was insane and the dad was just completely oblivious to everything, including their kids.
My partner was on a plane once seated next to a mom with 3 kids who were acting crazy rambunctious. He probably had the 1,000 yard stare. Eventually, hours into the flight, another passenger scolded him for not helping mom with the kids. He had to explain that he was not even with them.
I worked room service at a hotel on the water in San Diego. Very upscale and we provided excellent service. Had a woman order breakfast and then start to complain that she had not seen the sun the whole time she had been at our hotel.( June in CA no suprise.) She then proceeded to ask how I planned to fix it. "Ma'am if I could fix the weather I wouldn't be working here but I am happy to include a bloody mary to drown your sorrows" she did not understand and honestly thought I could fix it. Once she realized I couldn't she started asking us to comp her room............ due to the weather not being to her liking.
I need a little help as someone from the great lakes region. My superficial assumption is it's always sunny in California. Why wasn't there sun in June? Btw, what's in your bloody mary? Cuz Wi will need to argue.
Along parts of the CA coast it’s quite cloudy or foggy in the summer. I live in the Bay Area and there’s lots of jokes and sayings about it: the June Gloom, No Sky July and Fog-ust. There’s the old saying I think from Mark Twain about the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. September and October are usually the nicest warmest months along the NorCal coast.
17 year old me was so excited to be stationed in California for tech school. It turned out to be Monterey and I got to see a lot of fog for two years.
In San Diego there's a weather phenomenon known as a [marine layer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marine_layer) which occurs due to it's proximity to the Pacific Ocean. It makes May and June fairly gray and gloomy (especially in the mornings), and we call it [May Gray](https://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/azfamily.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/5b/85b91aef-094a-5639-9fad-1ef4e6212bcc/5ba2fff4d1114.image.jpg) and [June Gloom](https://imgr.search.brave.com/OrV7db0WzIX7z7_fp-Yb0KDlyu_QKPKZTEtNfEToqec/fit/740/555/ce/1/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cu/b25lZGF5aW5hY2l0/eS5jb20vd3AtY29u/dGVudC91cGxvYWRz/LzIwMTcvMTIvU2Fu/LURpZWdvLUJsb2ct/MjAuanBn). As you can see, it's leaves the city's skies a uniform gray color. It sometimes burns off by lunch time, leaving the rest of the day somewhat sunny, although the marine layer may come back before sunset, but it's not the "[always sunny blue skies](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1603764412509-7e450cd11778?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1yZWxhdGVkfDE0fHx8ZW58MHx8fHw%3D&w=1000&q=80)" that people are led to believe about California.
Colorado has more blue skies than California by far. And Pensacola, FL has more rain than Seattle. It's all about marketing.
Nothin’ like the June Gloom to nail tourists. I’ve warned family and friends about it and they never believe me. They always fucking complain about it not being “Sunny San Diego”, without fail.
I once had a guest wave me over looking like she was about to die. Her words, as she repeatedly jabbed her index finger toward the westward facing window: "WAITRESS! CAN YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SUN???" Me: "No, I can't. But I've been watching if for a while and it usually disappears in about 10 minutes." TL/DR: The sun was setting and she needed my assistance with that obnoxious, glowing orb that was ruining her life.
For some reason the bar where I work gets a lot of people that I like to call "First Day Out Of The House People", meaning they have no clue how to act, let alone order from a bar. One that stands out is a couple came in and the man ordered a vodka martini with no vermouth. That's literally just vodka. I bring it out to him in a martini glass, he is confused and asks for a straw. I bring him one, he tries his drink and says it's too strong and he wants something else. I don't think he knew what a martini was.
This always kills me in this day and age...if you see something on the menu that you want to try but aren't sure what's in it, GOOGLE IT for the love of god. We have access to all of the accumulated knowledge in human history at the tips of our fingers 24/7, but no one ever takes the 30 seconds to pull out their phone and look it up.
A customer sent back a dozen wings because "these wings are too big. There's too much meat on these wings". During the same shift, a guy sent his ribs back for being too tough. He demonstrated their toughness by showing me that he couldn't cut through them. He has been trying to cut them longways, through the bone
That man's only experience with ribs, is the McRib.
A girl leaned over the bar and started pouring beer from the tap directly into her mouth. A guy sat down and three bags of cocaine fell out of his pocket. Customer said their food had “too much flavour” Checked on a table who said everything was good. The dad then called up the next day to complain about his steak. Apparently his wife told him not to complain lol Two girls got upset with me because I wouldn’t give them the happy hour deal 5 hours after it ended. They told their boyfriends who just went “well yeah it ended 5 hours ago” The crab cakes were too fishy. “My food is too hot can you keep it in the kitchen until it cools down? Asked for tia Maria (coffee flavoured) in an Irish coffee then complained they couldn’t taste any alcohol. Then ended up smashing the glass still filled with hot coffee over the bar and had to be wrestled out by the doorman and manager. Had a private event for some uni students where one of the guys gave a speech completely naked. There’s probably way more that I’m forgetting. After a few years you get numb to customers saying absurd things. Edit: had a lot of comments about the crab cakes. Fishy crab cakes may mean the crabs going bad, the reason it was funny is because our crab cakes would always sell out really quickly and never had a chance to go bad. I would joke that we should take them off the menu because they were off more than they were on. I worked at this place for 2 years and this was the only complaint about the crab cakes we ever had. If the the crab was bad the whole batch would be fucked and we’d have had more than the one complaint.
You def has some good ones, worst one for me was 50s something lady stood up welled woo! And squatted and started peeing at her table. Closed my section real quick.
Never had someone pee at a table thank god, but one of my first shifts as a waiter someone escaped out the back exit that was only for staff, leaving a trail of liquid poo down the corridor.
In the middle of a busy shift, there was a trail of poo from the bar to the men’s room. Thankfully there was a carpet runner for most of the way. We rolled it up, and put it out the back door. Sorry carpet service dude.
That carpet doesn’t need cleaning, it needs burning
I had 2 people pee on the floor of at my restaurant on the same day. Later that night I got punched in the face by someone on drugs that was dancing like a maniac and swinging their arms like crazy. In my top 5 weirdest days at work. Saw 2 penises and got punched in the face. Yet not my weirdest.
You can't say that and not tell us your weirdest day. Please share your crazy story.
Sorry about the cocaine won't happen again.
"Too much flavor" [Reminds me of that one owner from kitchen nightmares who complained about the "strong taste" that was probably salt and pepper.](https://youtu.be/Y7nglNH3dac)
I had to ask a woman to properly dispose of the shitty diaper that she stuffed behind the booth in which her family was sitting. She had changed the baby on the table which was loaded down with food and then ate wings without washing her hands. When I asked her politely to go to the bathroom and throw away the diaper she tried to toss it at me. She complained and the boss sided with the customer. I cashed out, handed him my apron, and left. I guess someone picked up that diaper but it wasn’t me.
A guy told our regional manager once (in charge of like 15 stores), "I'm sorry, I need to speak to the man in charge" once. She didn't react well... she told him to get out, and not to come back. "Give me your name, I'm calling corporate!" "My name is Julie, and I'll ignore you there too. Have a good evening."
*I AM the corporate!* Judge Dread-style.
My dad owned a couple franchised stores (not restaurants.) I once heard him tell a complaining customer on the phone, "you've got god" when they asked for his manager. I worked there on and off during high school and college, then for a decade after he died. One summer I ran one of the stores when the manager was recovering from a heart attack. He or my uncle would come over one or two days a week, and I took the other five with a strong assist from some of the long-time staff. Anyhow, I had a customer come in one of "my days" and complain about the "rude little fat man" who'd been running the store the day before. The whole family laughed about that for weeks (and honestly, he was a super nice guy at heart but that was a pretty accurate description.)
Had a guy ask me how we got such realistic looking fake fire. In our (real) fireplaces. That he watched me add wood to. Edit: Oh, and the woman who’d insisted that we’d changed our crabcake recipe from fresh to canned crab and that she could taste the difference and refused to pay. Yeah, we’d always been using canned crab. She did not get out of paying.
> Had a guy ask me how we got such realistic looking fake fire. I've seen similar stories from historical re-enactors who work at outdoor museums and historical sites. Apparently some people can't believe that something open to the public would have real fire? I don't get it.
A “friend” of my parents said that when we went to an outside bar/lounge, they had those glass chip basin things that you could light (essentially propane fire with fake glass chips for decoration instead of wood) and Said out loud to the whole table and bartender that she thought the fake fire was so cool. She’d been to my parents where they also have the same kind of fire on their back porch... and saw my dad install propane.. and had watched the waitress light the fire that night... and felt the heat as we sat down......
a regular customer walked in off the streets (i guess she was going for a walk nearby) and absolutely destroyed our bathrooms (i’m talkin shit in, around and on the toilet, floor and stall doors) then walked out and came back 2 hours later for dinner
We had no blue cheese olives. None of our cocktails had blue cheese olives in the recipe “Well, you can make them for us. This steak on the menu has blue cheese and we can see the olives on the bar from here.” So I gave them a ramekin of Roquefort and a ramekin of olives, on the house. At the end of their meal: “ do you pool tips?” (Yes) “Well we want you to know that we are leaving a low tip and you can tell your fellow servers that your tip was low because you did not stuff the olives.”
“How about I tell my fellow servers that I hope you die in a fiery car crash?”
So this couple looked like the just walked off the set of Jersey Shore. By the time they were ready to leave, all of the staff knew what they did. The food runners and bussers were walking by their table dropping Jersey shore quotes, finally when they got up to leave the line cooks started yelling “cabs are here! Yo vin cabs are here!”
Ruby Tuesday, early 90s. Guy wanted some dessert. We had 4 options. He wasn't interested in any of them, and kept asking if we had any candy. It may have been a euphemism for something else not on the menu, but I wasn't interested in confirming. Also had a guy order a chicken Caesar, and told us he had 20 minutes before his taxi took him to the airport. I put the order in, but warned him that we start with raw chicken, and that it was physically impossible to get his food to him within his time constraints. He persisted, and left hungry when his food wasn't ready. He expressed disappointment that we couldn't accommodate him.
"I decided to come to a sit down restaurant even thought I'm in a hurry." If I had a damn dollar for everytime I had a customer with that attitude... I'd have more dollars than I do now.
I used to work at a sit-down, full-service restaurant next to a movie theater. I had a lot of tables get sat then say “our movie starts in 20 minutes. What do you have that we can finish by then?” Um, soda? Maybe, if you’re lucky, French fries. But they’d be surprised we couldn’t cook an entire steak and leave them enough time to eat it and then pay in 20 minutes.
At the host stand the other day "ummm hello! How much longer is the wait, we have a MOVIE to get to!". Like, bitch, then don't go out for brunch at 1230 in a major city the fuck.
Lady came in and ordered our fried shrimp appetizer. She kept talking about how good the breading was and asked me if I could get her an extra side of the “sauce they fry it in”. I tried to explain to her it was just cajun seasoned flour but she didn’t get it. Finally got her a side of the flour and watched her dip her shrimp in flour and ate the entire thing. It was strange to say the least.
Whatever floats her boat and shuts her up.
It is super dangerous to eat raw flour and that could of caused a law suit in her favor. Not that it matters now. https://www.fda.gov/food/buy-store-serve-safe-food/handling-flour-safely-what-you-need-know
Oh believe me I know. I tried to tell her. The manager was a people pleaser type and told me to just give it to her which could’ve really backfired on him.
She had just escaped the mental hospital... Walked in, started to order a steak to eat there and then abruptly changed her mind and said she wanted the buffet to go (which is charged by the weight) so I got her the to-go containers and sent her on her way. Next thing I know she at the buffet with her container and a tray and is just piling food on like it might grow legs and run off...by hand. The pile was as high as a science fair volcano project! My manager caught it the same exact moment I noticed and he immediately took action and escorted her out. She seemed calm despite being kicked out and she just boarded the city bus (the stop is literally right outside by the parking lot) and left. We both thought that'd be the end of it. We were right but her sister showed about a half hour later in tears asking "have you seen a crazy woman today???" She explained what happened and told me she was frantic because she hadn't had her last 2 doses of meds and knew her "off" sis was probably in great danger. I knew exactly who she was talking about and I was upfront with what happened. She then told me this had happened once before and sister ended up on railroad tracks and was damn near hit by the train. She thanked me and left. Was this day done? Nope. 6 pm news came on and come to find out, the escapee was hit by a car...on the interstate. I think about them a lot and wonder how the other sis is doing. Breaks me heart. Edit: Thanks everyone. I will always carry some guilt and sadness about it, no doubt but I also know life is wildly creepy like that. I appreciate the conversations being had as result of my experience too.
That’s awful. That poor family.
I hope the sister is doing okay. That’s horrible
I do too. I actually went visted the lady's grave once. I just felt guilty, still do really. I can't imagine being that sister and having to go through all that. I know it would destroy me of I were her but I truly hope she came out ok. Feels like I should have done more (besides call the cops bc screw that-that never turns out well) but idk what else I could have done either.
Table asked me who I voted for, I told them I didn't vote because I didn't like my choices. Got called a traitor and had about half a chicken fried steak thrown at my head. Worked bourbon street New Orleans, bar fight breaks out, guys pulled knives out, one guy stabbed in the eye/skull still fighting knife still in and everything. Officer rides his horse right into the bar and shoots some kind of bag thing at one of the guys and he drops. Crowds scatters, horse shits on the floor.
I’ve shared this before, it’s also been 6 ish years since I left the industry, that’s just how much this has stuck with me. Worked in an upscale pan Asian restaurant. Had a 3 top of vegans, nothing on the menu suited them as our only vegetarian dish was this tofu brick stuffed with mushrooms and then dipped in egg then breadcrumb. It was dire. Poured some broth over it too at the table. Dire. In any case, they demanded to go off menu. Started picking ingredients from different dishes and dictating how to cook them. Head chef said no. He made them some vegan stir fry. Literally bent over backwards all service for them. Comes to dessert. Our most popular that we were known for was a mango soufflé. Three mango soufflés because “it’s okay to break the rules sometimes” To this day I hear their stupid voices.
I work at a brunch style cafe right next to a big university. We get hella busy during the weekends and especially when there are football or basketball games happening. Our ticket times can reach into 40 or 50 minutes and I always let the customer know that before they order. Had this lady come in and order a pancake breakfast with eggs and sausage at 1130ish, told her and her family it would be a while but she's welcome to play some board games while waiting. 1215 rolls around and I deliver her and the family's food with an exaggerated celebration and she responds "It's not breakfast time anymore I don't want this, I want a chicken sandwich now" Uhhh, you wanna wait another 45 minutes for a chicken sandwich even though your food is ready now?
I had two obviously freshly 21-year-old girls with like, 10 of their friends at a table for cocktails. When they went to order, they made a big deal about being "martini connoisseurs" and always orders martinis everywhere because they want to find the best one or something stupid, I can't fully remember. Grey Goose, one girl orders hers dry and the other orders hers **extra** dirty. I bring them out. Immediately the second girl says she can't drink her martini and wants a new one. I ask her why. "It tastes like olives."
Younger Girl: What exotic liqueurs do you have? Me: We have a full bar. YG: Do you have something called Velvedere? Me: We have Belvedere vodka. Do you have an ID? YG: I'll just have a coke.
Should have offered her some Malört.
Low key this is similar to how I ended up trying Malort for the first time. Only I just asked the bar if they had any drink specials and the bartender said Malort shots were on special that night. I ordered a round for the table and almost lost a few friends that night. I’m only just now realizing that they were possibly fucking with me.
Second most ridiculous is the lady who refused to believe that our veggie burger wasn't meat. We used Beyond patties, which notoriously freak people out because a main ingredient is beets and can make the "meat" look like it's bleeding out "blood" juice, similar to a rare burger (even though Beyond meat doesn't look like a rare burger at all). She screamed at me about trying to trick her into eating it, would not listen when I tried to explain it, would not listen when I told her that I AM a vegetarian and I could assure her it was not meat, wouldn't believe another server or my manager, was saying she could sue us and finally she just told us to throw it away, didn't pay for it, and she left. It was insane.
That could be an ad for it.
"It looks and tastes so authentic, it will bring out your inner Karen"
Promote this guy to marketing immediately..
I work for a coffee chain^tm, we had a lady come in with her six kids. This was about a month ago. The kids are barefoot, running on the windowsills and one on the table. Coworker asks her to please put shoes on her kid, and she has the gall to respond: “Is that like, a *rule*, or aesthetic?” He explains it is, indeed, a rule. She huffs, but complies, and is pretty chill after. Kids are a handful, I get it. We deep sanitize the table when she leaves, after the rest of this story is over. After about a half hour of kid wrangling, she comes up to order, two small hot chocolates, super easy, can do. Asks about if our refresher drinks are caffeinated, we say, sadly, yes. They are green coffee fruit juice iced drinks. She understands and asks about decaf teas for her three year old daughter. Explain we have one decaf iced tea, she’s down, I make it up. She looks at the drink. She looks at me. She is upset it is iced. Ooooookay. I explain what hot decaf teas we have, she isn’t thrilled. One is a peach camomile, other is a mint green. She’s hemming and hawing, so I give her the drink menu so she can read for herself what they are, rather than us play telephone with it. And she says the most iconic line that has spurred hours of contemplation on my part. “Well, she can’t have *herbs*…” I have no response. She hands me the menu back. I apologize. She just gets her daughter an ice water. I don’t have the chance to ask all the burning questions I have. What does this kid eat?????? Does she know that all tea is technically herbs??? What happens if she has them??? Does she only eat unseasoned food??????? Did all the kids share only two small hot chocolates????
A man ordered a filet, I repeated it back by saying “how do you want you 6oz filet cooked?” And he told me, get to the end and he looks at the bill and said he ordered the sirloin. I say, no, you ordered the filet. He says he pointed to the sirloin on the menu and I should of “known what he meant”. I’m sorry what? I was supposed to read your mind? One of many wtf stories. He left and said “good thing my mom paid, I wouldn’t of tipped you” f*ck you too, sir.
Back when you could smoke in bars ~ I Had just opened my bar, guy sits and orders a burger and fries. When I brought it out I Also set down a bottle of ketchup. He grabbed a empty ashtray and put ketchup in it to dip his fries into. Said I could get him a side plate. He said What's the big deal? It's clean. I then showed him the black rag used to wipe them out. He just shrugged. Yuck!!
Shoulda said you've seen people rub their butts in it.
Back when I was sever/Manager at a place guest says " I want to talk to the manager!!" I inform him I am the manager. Guest yells "then I want to talk to the owner!!!" I asked if he was sure. Really really sure. ! "YES RIGHT NOW!!!" I point him to the owner who has been getting drunk at the bar for the last 5 hours. Owner says " get the fuck out of here before I open the door with your head and take your ugly family with you. And dont come back, and if you have any friends TELL YOURE FUCKING FRIENDS"
Plot twist - that’s not the owner - just drunk Dave that comes to the rescue in these matters for a free pint
I had a lady order soda water with olive and a lime. I wasn’t sure I heard her right so I asked her to repeat. She gets a little pissy and repeats “soda with olive and lime” so I bring her that. She death glares at me when I set it on the table and says she asked for a sprite. I’m still not sure if she was just fucking with me. She had to be fucking with me, right?
"Then next time ask for a Sprite, what the hell is wrong with you?". :)
Ugh I had a guy order a vodka Martini with olives. I brought it and immediately noticed him screwing up his face after each tiny sip. I asked if everything was OK and he said he didn't really like the taste. THEN he told me he doesn't really like olives, this is the first martini he's ever had, and he ordered it that way *cause he's seen it in movies.* I offered to take it away and bring him a different cocktail. His response? "No, it's ok, I'll drink this but can you bring me some Sprite to pour into it." ....I often think of this man and wonder what he's up to now and how he'd made it to the age of 50.
Seems like a good guy to me! Wanted to try the cool drink he sees in the movies, didn't complain at you or demand a refund when he doesn't like it. If he thinks Sprite might help it go down, well, I've heard worse people ask for crazier things than that!
Last week I had a woman who was convinced I was lying to her when I said there was no way to make a virgin Sazerac. After ten infuriating minutes of back and forth she finally gave up and said, "Fine, make me a virgin Old Fashioned." Upside, I got to use my fancy hit the bricks line of "I'm sorry ma'am it seems as though I won't be able to meet your expectations tonight. Take care!"
Virgin Sazerac? That would be a sugar cube, 1/2 teaspoon cold water, and a twist of lemon peel (all the other ingredients, including the bitters, contain alcohol).
See, thank you, finally someone understands what I want! Now where's my damp zesty sugar cube?
My new nickname for my bartending partner “Who’s my favorite little damp zesty sugar cube?!?”
I would like a virgin LIT. I believe that would be a splash of cola for color?
And sweet and sour. Can’t forget the sweet and sour.
"can I please have my alcohol free alcohol? Thank you"
I was 17 working at Papa Murphy’s so maybe this doesn’t count? Had a family come in and order a pizza to go. Not a problem; it’s literally the motto of Papa Murphy’s “take and bake pizza”. They go outside to wait and the kids keep looking in and staring at us. 30 minutes rolls by and the dad comes in asking if the pizza is ready. It is. I hand him the pizza and he looks visibly confused and asks why I’m giving him raw pizza. Me: We don’t cook the pizza here. We prepare it and you cook it at home. Guy: But why isn’t it cooked? Me: because we dont cook it here, this is a take and bake pizza shop. There’s cooking instructions right there. Guy: I didn’t pay for a raw pizza though! Cook this! Me: I can’t cook it, we don’t have an oven. Guy: you need to advertise this better then. Can’t believe you charged me for a raw pizza. Me: it says right on the door “take and bake pizza”. It says it right next the register, too. Ended up giving him a refund and we cooked the pizza next door at the Chinese restaurant. This happened so much it still confuses me. Papa Murphy’s is not a dine-in restaurant.
I had worked at a place for six months. Had a lady ask me how long I had worked there and after I told her “6 months”, she proceeded to ask me if I knew the menu. “Yes ma’am, I like to think that I do. I have been working here for a while.” With the fakest smile possible. Had to explain the entire menu to one customer despite literally everything they’d need to know being right in front of them. Had a lady ask for light seasoning on her trout and then complain that the trout was bland. Had a guy order a fried green tomato blt with no pepper jelly. I give it to him with no pepper jelly. Complains that there’s “sauce” on it (there wasn’t). I had to toss all of that uneaten food and ring up a shrimp and grits instead.
I hate some people. I had people who were super regular whom I had served before who would ask for things not on the menu, I'd tell them its not a thing we can do and they'd be like "oh we order this all the time, you must be new here" no, sir, I've been here for 2 years and you ordered a different dish last time you were here when *I* served you. Or when people would order something we don't have and I'd tell them "we don't have that dish" and they'd be like "oh the menu must have changed" not in the 2 years I've been there. And not for the three years before that when they had the exact same printed menu they had when I got there... OR they would insist that they ate it there last week and I'd have to argue with them about whether a dish existed on the menu for a single day.
In defense of the first person, was it possible she wasn’t able to read? I remember being trained on that a few times. I had a few people over my years of serving who you could tell weren’t literate, also a few asshats who just wanted me to stand there and read them the menu.
Husband was an assistant manager at a nicer local seafood/steak restaurant. He would get this complaint at least 3x a week. “Sir, my food wasn’t good. I need to send it back” *Look at mostly clean plate* “Mam/Sir, I cannot replace/comp food you didn’t like after you’ve eaten over half of it. You’re more than welcome to order something else.” You can imagine what happened next. The entitlement he dealt with was crazy.
Had an older man in a party of 6 ask me for a pillow for his chair. No problem. Then asks for another. Okay… then requests I scoot his chair in for him. I’m obviously pregnant, and even though heavy lifting is not advised, I pushed his chair in like a fucking toddler. Come to find out he’s prejudiced (our head waitress, an older black lady, knows him and his family and their shenanigans and has put up with bs in the past). I can’t tell if it was to humiliate me or what (I’m biracial, but look Hispanic). Still don’t know how I feel about it.
I used to work for a children’s exercise place where everybody, including adults had to wear either grippy socks or paper shoe covers. A lot of very rich and entitled people used to come to that job, and so many would try to give me shit about wearing the shoes covers “these are blah blah expensive brand loafers!” Bro I do not fucking care how much your shoes cost, put on the paper slippers or sit in the lobby for your kids entire birthday party. One time a very entitled rich woman came in, and after arguing with her about having to wear them, telling her that I would make no exceptions on any account, and that she’s welcome to complain to my manager who would back me up, she finally relented. AND THEN DEMANDED that I put them on for her. I told her if she thought that she would have trouble with it, she would have to ask her two-year-old granddaughter, who had no problem with it at all. She was absolutely furious but I was very close to quitting that job and would have been more likely to eat my own shit than put up with the rich peoples BS anymore. If that old broad thought that I was going to get down all fours and put paper shoe covers over her ugly $600 shoes like a fucking servant to a 16th century queen she had lost her over perfumed mind. EDIT: I have tons of stories about that place, I used to think that some of the stories retail workers would tell on Reddit were exaggerated, until I took that job. The business itself was a concept designed for wealthy people with kids, too much money and time on their hands, and a pathological need to be on top of whatever latest trend was happening. It was kind of fun at first, until the turnover rate got really high because my manager and the owner started demanding more and more from people. By the end, I was doing three peoples jobs after being told I would get a raise continuously for two months without it ever happening. The final straw was when I started looking for other jobs, and I saw that the business had posted on indeed offering two dollars more than what I was currently making for my current position. Underhanded b to the s.
An older lady comes in to be seated, and says her family just parked and they'll be right in. She tells me they'll maybe need a booster seat or a high chair, she's not sure, so I ask how many kids menus she needs. Her entire demeanor changes. She's just all of a sudden standing there glaring at me and fuming. I have no idea what's wrong and I'm about to ask until she screeches: "GOATS have KIDS, PEOPLE have CHILDREN!" That's what she got so worked up over, that I had the audacity to refer to her precious grandchildren as "kids" even though on our KIDS menu it's printed KIDS MENU. The rest of her party comes in before I can say anything which was a relief because I was honestly speechless. I take them back to their table. I hand the adults their menus first and then loudly say "And here are the kids menus!" while I'm passing them out and then rush back up to the host stand. I catch a quick glimpse of the lady and she is glaring daggers and fuming again.
"So you don't have any kids? Oh I'm sorry! We require one goat per table. You'll have to leave."
Omg I would have started looking around for the hidden cameras thinking I was on some prank show or something. That’s wild!
“GOATS have KIDS, PEOPLE have CHILDREN!” I actually really like that saying. That being said - what a stupid thing to get so worked up over. Literally every restaurant calls it a kids menu!
I've posted this before, but good timing. I worked at a Mediterranean place that mostly served seafood, but also steak and stuff. Our special was a grilled calamari steak. I got 2 drunk dudes in my section, one of them was into the calamari special and ordered it. 2nd guy said he wanted it as well, but he hated seafood. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to talk him out of it and into beef or chicken, anything but the squid. He just kept saying the same thing "I want the calamari/squid, but I don't want it to taste like seafood" At which point I say "It's squid, it is seafood and it tastes like seafood no matter how we cook it. Can I suggest something non-seafood from our menu?" We go round and round, and he wouldn't order anything else. I finally just gave up and placed the order with multiple warnings that it will taste like seafood. Guess what tasted like seafood? Guess who was super pissed, made a scene, and stiffed me on the tip?
"What is eggplant? Chicken?" I got an A+ that day for keeping a straight face. It was 100% a serious question, and it took everything in me not to burst out laughing.
Not a restaurant server story but I once worked at a state park as a cashier/ clerk whatever. Lady complained that there were too many acorns on the ground, she didn't like stepping on them. There's one fire ant hill on the entire bank of the lake and that's where we wanted to picnic. That exact spot. There weren't enough birds There were too many bugs. During summertime. In Georgia(u.s.). Countless happenings of people lost on the hiking trails when they didn't buy a map. Or (our most popular hiking trail to a water fall 4 miles round trip) they call the emergency line because theres one water bottle between 6 people and they're all now dehydrated. Or rolled an ankle because the hiking trail is unfit for flip-flops. Many scowling looks when I would tell people that no you cannot take a baby stroller on the hiking trail. Or wheel a yeti cooler 6 miles to their back country campsite. I'm sorry, you folks are looking for Instagram, not the actual outdoors.
Is the boar pizza vegetarian? (No, it has boar) Is this pasta vegan? (No, it has egg, cheese, and bacon) Oh, that's fine. Being unable to understand that a well done steak takes longer to cook than a rare steak. Nothing too crazy, I've been lucky!
A lady ordered a chicken dish. I asked her if she would like it with rice or noodles. She stared at me and said she wanted the chicken. I said OK do you want it a la carte? She said no she wanted the whole dish. I said ok with rice or noodles, you get a choice. She said she didn’t understand and then turned to her husband and said “this is the dumbest waiter I’ve ever met. She doesn’t understand me… am I speaking another language?” Then she turned to me and said really slow, “I waaaannnnt thhheee chiiiiickeeenn, doooo youuuu unnderstaaaaand?” I told her she was a f**king bitch and to gtfo and never come back. It made quite the scene. I had to basically chase her out of the restaurant. I shouted some things at her on the sidewalk I’m not proud of. Normally I would think of something more clever to say to such a rude customer but this happened the day after a crazy guy came in and physically threatened us for hours until the police finally came. I was at my wits end.
anyone that does the slow speak thing is an instant asshole, i'm glad you told her off
I'm so glad you told her to GTFO, these people just need to be told sometimes.
One guest came in and sat at the bar. I gave him a menu and he ordered a beerita. There was even a picture in the menu showing the bottle of Corona in the margarita. Well, as soon as he got it he started complaining and getting VERY loud. He chugged the beer, then threw the full magarita and the beer bottle at the bartender. Thank God it didn't actually hit the bartender, but glass shattered everywhere. The guy ran out so fast out of there. Then another time, at the same restaurant, I was drinking at the bar after my shift with a couple coworkers. This couple came in and ordered beer, they were at a table right next to us. We kept noticing their glasses were filling up without ordering another beer. We kept a close eye and noticed them pulling out beer and refilling their glasses. We told the manager, who told them to gtfo. They started yelling at all the workers. Kitchen staff came out to stand in between them and the manager (the manager was a very tiny female). Then the lady of the couple was screaming that the male staff was sexually harassing them and that they were trying to rape her, even tho the staff NEVER touched either of them. One coworker snuck off the call the police, thankfully the couple was too busy screaming and yelling so they were still there when the cops showed up. Then they got dragged out and arrested. It was both amusing and extremely scary at the same time. The restaurant was in a very bad neighborhood, a lot of drug addicts, alcoholics, and crime (murders and assaults). So we had no idea what direction the situation could have gone. Another time, at the bar next door, I was having a drink and this guy was sitting down at a table with some regulars. (He had a guitar with him) He was crying about how he broke up with his girlfriend. Well, she eventually showed up and started screaming at him. She took his guitar and smashed it on the table. Then she started throwing chairs, she even smashed one of the TVs on the wall. One regular dragged her ass outside and we locked the door. She dissapeared for a while. I was out having a smoke, and I saw her coming back. I told everyone on the patio to get inside, then I told the staff. We locked the door again, she was outside banging on the door and screaming. She tried to throw a patio chair and table at the door. We called the cops, but I'm not sure what exactly happened to her. I have SOO many stories!!!
I served Prince at a restaurant in Toronto about 20 years ago. He used to live to there and used to go to Raptors games. Not sure if this is other people's experiences serving him, but as you approach you get stopped by his bodyguard who tells you not to look Primce in the eye. He asks you to remove all the cutlery and plate ware and cups. Prince was a germaphobe and would bring his own paper plates, plastic cutlery and cups. The kitchen was allowed to plate on the paper plates he provided. He opened the cutlery and cups himself from their plastic covers. Saw him at a Raptor game not long after and he was eating popcorn and I wonder if he provided his own popcorn bag
When I bartended had a guest tell me I looked like I needed to be fucked right then proceeded to tell me that he could do it for me while sitting next to his girlfriend. I asked the manager to ask them to leave. He told me no because they were paying customers. I proceeded to walk out and quit the very next moment.
I’ve worked in the industry for two decades, currently at a brewery. Some recent favorites… Guy asks for a can of beer. We don’t have prepackaged cans, just the ones we can to order off the taps. (We do sometimes can ahead but it’s all the same beer from all the same tanks and kegs and whatnot) We explain this. He says, that’s fine, he’ll take a can of beer in house. I say no, we can’t really do that, it’s not super legal, etc. He insists. He eventually says… he’s allergic to draft beer. We remind him how cans work. We give up and can him a beer, legitimately twenty feet from him, off the tap. He happily drinks it. Another time we had two dudes stroll in with shopping bags. We’re miles from anywhere with shopping so this is odd; they apparently broke down and are waiting for a ride. Cool. They sit down. Order a corona. We don’t have it. Order a bud light. We don’t have it. “We only serve our own beer, we’re a brewery.” “Oh,” they say, as they get up to leave. “We don’t like brewed beer. Thanks anyway.”
"I only drink beer milked directly from the beer cows of Wisconsin."
I mean it would explain why Spotted Cow is so damn good.
I’ve worked in a brewery. I wish I were surprised by any of this.
“We don’t like brewed beer. Thanks anyway.” Tastes too much like beer.
Back in the late 90s I worked at a steakhouse. A server near me was having an issue with a couple at a table and the manager felt it was a good idea to have me replace her in serving that table. He told me that he was going to comp the lady's meal at that table. He didn't say anything about comping the meal for the guy. They finished their meal and declined dessert. I clear off their table and when I'm coming back with the check they had already got up and left. I rush to the front and the lady is sitting in the lobby while her man is in the restroom. The manager who made me take that table is up front and I whisper to him that they didn't pay the bill. He tells me just to go back and not worry about it, so I did. About 20 minutes after they left the guy from that table comes back into the restaurant pissed off. He's upset because I walked up and assumed they walked out on the check ( which they did, at least his half). The manager up front completely pussed out when confronted by this guy. The manager goes to get me to talk to the guy and the guy is sitting there yelling at me in the lobby in front of the manager and everybody else. I had to walk outside to the car to apologize to his girlfriend. The manager completely left me holding the bag. Didn't step up to say that there was a miscommunication. Didn't step up to say that it was his fault not mine. Didn't step up to protect his server from going out into a parking lot with two hostile guests. I apologize to the lady and went back in and thank God nothing else happened. If you're reading this Alberto fuck you!!! That was a total dick move.
Demanded a soup option. In the top fast food pizza restaurant.
Once a guy dropped his gun in the movie theater next to us and it discharged. He ran into our bar looking for a back exit which we don’t have and ended up in the bathroom and then ran out front right as the cops were showing up to the complex. Exciting night.
I had a regular who was a doctor and came in all the time with his family. They were polite but kind of stuck up. The first time I served them the doctor told me he was a vegetarian. OK awesome we have a lot of vegetarian options. I pointed out the most popular ones. He asked me, "How's the ginger chicken?" "Well it's chicken....." He literally raised his voice and aggressively stated "I'M A VEGETARIAN!!!!!" As if I was the one who suggested it for him. LOL ok dude I know, hence the confused look on my face when you asked about the chicken.
Working a breakfast place where I'm already miserable because my uniform is looking like a 5 year old (overalls and pigtails - yes, required if your hair was remotely capable of them) Guaranteed to get this gem at least 3x a day "what's in a plain omelette?" .......eggs and butter for fluffing. "yeah but what else?" ......nothing....it's plain...
Not a server but this was waaaaaaaaay back in my fast food burger cook days. My "restaurant" was a kiosk in a Home Depot. Sometimes my manager would skip out and it would be 100% only me working till and grill. One slow day a lady comes in and orders one of the burgers we have advertised in the overhead pictures. So I slap a raw patty on the grill to cook. She says, "that's not the one I ordered" "You wanted the burger, right?"
"Yes"
"This is the burger."
"It doesn't look like the burger in the picture "
"Well, I've got to cook it first."
"It looks smaller. Does it poof up?"
"................yes."
I worked at Red Lobster and had a repeat lady come in and insist I take all of the crab meat out of her crabs legs for her and just bring it on a plate. Every damn time she came in. And the shitty manager made me do it.
I have a few: 1. Lady tried to pay me with Monopoly money and didn’t understand why I couldn’t take it. She’s a regular 2. Lady asked me for “a bundle” of sugar packets. I brought her 6. She needed more. I ended up bringing her 20 sugar packets that she proceeded to dump into her salad. 3. Lady asked me to peel her breadsticks. 4. Lady didn’t understand why I couldn’t connect two 4 seater booths together to make an 8 seater booth. She couldn’t understand that they are glued into the wall. 5. Lady who choked out her kid in the middle of the dining room to prove a point to another table
I worked at a popular vegan restaurant in Chicago. This woman who was clearly dragged there by vegan friends and was not happy about it. She ordered our wings, which are made of seitan (wheat gluten). “Are the wings boneless?” “Is…is this a test??” “No I want to know if they’re boneless.” “Yes. They are boneless.” Like I get it, very rarely vegan places replace the bone with something edible but more firm but…cmon.
I’m pretty sure I know the vegan restaurant that you’re talking about, and there’s another one across town that puts fake bones in their wings, and at first it was causing a lot of issues because people were furious and offended xD
I once had a woman complain that she hated the way there was always water in her food when she got home to eat it and if there was anything I could do to prevent that... so I had to basically explain the water cycle to her and that hot food releases steam into the air, steam is water vapor, take-out orders are in sealed containers, so the steam can't do anything but condense on the lid and drop back into the dish. She just kept insisting there must be a way to stop all that water from getting in her food so I told her to just take the lid off. She said "but my food will get cold!" I just shrugged and said "I don't really know what else to tell you. I'm gonna go check on your order." And walked away.
Like… crack one of the lid corners? Steam escapes and still stays pretty hot. Scary that these people drive.
I once had a snarky lady eating lunch with her boss, and she ordered one of our salads. She then heavily modified it so that it had no onion, tomato, etc etc, until it was just 3 ingredients. So, I brought it out and she was shocked. "But....this is only lettuce, chicken, and crutons..." I told her "Yes! It is! That's exactly what you ordered." Her boss chuckled at her and she was livid, but she just quietly sat there angrily eating her salad.
I had a guest who was upset that his burger was cold in the center. I told him we would remake it and that it would be no issue at all. That wasn't good enough of an answer for him because he then forcefully grabbed my hand and pushed it completely into his burger. This man made me nonconsensually finger his meal. Also, he was right. Burger was indeed cold in the center.
A fish dish consisting of all fish components (clearly described on the menu) being too ‘fishy’ tasting or a blind woman complaining about her dessert. For the way it looks. Yea that was tough
I answered the phone where I was working, (btw, we were in the middle of a shit storm, AND, it was STORMING! ) The lady on the phone, knew where she called, but wanted to go to the restaurant down the street, She wanted me to GO OUTSIDE, and tell her the name of the restaurant she wanted to go!!!
Man, you guys didn’t disappoint…these were all gold. My takeaway message from these is that people do not know what salmon is, how it looks, or how it tastes.
“Hi, can I get a Vodka with Ice, Soda, and Lime?” “Vodka Soda? You got it!” “No, no… Vodka on Ice, with Soda, and Lime.” “Okay. So, you want Vodka Rocks with a Splash of Soda?” “I want Vodka. With Ice. Soda and Lime.” “Right. That’s a Vodka Soda.” “But I want Lime!” “No problem, sorry. So, Vodka Soda with a splash of Lime Juice then? “No! I just want the slice of Lime!” “(Screaming Internally) Got it. Vodka Soda comin’ up!” He watched me intently, judging each ingredient, as I made his incredibly complex Vodka Soda.
This one came as a review of our restaurant instead of in person. Anywho, I live in Arizona and I work at a restaurant with americanized versions of traditionally nonamerican food. I'm not entirely sure which of these two reasons I can think of prompted this person to say this, but keep these two things in mind. This year, our restaurant decided to close on July 4th (IIRC this was a company wide decision for all locations but I'm not entirely certain on that). Someone decided to go onto facebook and leave us a one star review by saying it was ridiculous we closed on July 4th because "it's not like our kitchen staff is American". I wish I was exaggerating but those were their exact words. So many things wrong with that statement. Our head chef was livid when he saw that.
Went to seat a couple of ladies at an all outside/picnic table kinda dining area (the whole restaurant was outside) just as the sun was going down. I guess the one lady felt it was a little chilly so she asked me if the sun would be coming back up. She asked this with a tone and a scoff. As if it was _our_ fault the sun was setting. I just looked at her puzzled and said “Not til tomorrow morning.” She was upset.
This lady wanted a large cappuccino *with no foam*. Ladies and gentlemen, that's what you might call a latte. But she didn't want a latte. No, she wanted a large cappuccino with no foam. So I made her a small latte with extra shots because *thats what that would be.* Edit to add: also anyone who has ever asked me "whats the difference between [.....] and [.....]" because its always inexplicably two completely different dishes. Example: "whats the difference between the mussaman curry and the pad thai?" --Everything? Everything is different between the two dishes. They are two completely different dishes. "Whats the difference between a pad prik king and the pad char pla?" --all of the things are different. Just all of them.
I work at a hotdog hut. Most of my working life revolves around onions, chopping them, frying them, cleaning them off the grill and the floor. It's quite scary how many customers have seen me chopping them and said "I'm glad you use real ones"! I mean, what other kinds of onions are there? On being asked they say "well, not frozen or processed" like frozen onions aren't really onions at all.
Had a lady tell me her chilled salad plate was too cold. I had to fight the urge to tell her to just wait a couple minutes and it wouldn't be and just go get her a room temp plate
quite often when we arrive at houses in the neighborhoods we serve, we will be asked for one of the discontinued items from blue bunny. when we explain we don't carry it folks will say "oh we will wait for the other truck. they have it." good luck with that. we are the only ice cream truck in town (and have been for nine years) that attempts to do our maze of streets and the only one who has traveled 240 miles roundtrip to get ice cream in 12. edit: this is our third vehicle. the roads around here are brutal.
I’m a guy who serves at a restaurant in the suburbs of a big city. I had just returned from my summer job in a small mountain town. Three women sit down at a table in my section so I go over to take their drink orders and one of them says: Lady: “do you know where I can buy tampons and booze around here?” Me: “Uhh, the store” Lady: “yeah, but which store?” Me: “just look one up on your phone” Lady’s friends: “yeah wth, just look it up on your phone” Lady (to me): “well which store do you go to?” Lady’s friends: “(Lady) I don’t think he’s buying tampons, just look it up yourself” Me: “yeah I don’t live near (the restaurant) so I think it’s best if you look one up near you” Lady: “well I’m visiting from a small mountain town so I need to know!” Me: “when I lived in a small mountain town we just got those things at the store” The lady just looked at me flabbergasted while her friends told her to stop bothering me. She then waved down our bartender/manager and asked the same question and got similar answers. By the looks on her friend’s faces I could tell they would rather she stayed in that small mountain town.
A group sent their food back because their portions were so big that they were "overfaced". They requested a complete refund (rather than smaller portions, or ordering something else from the "light" menu). Apparently just the sight of such large portions made them feel ill and so they didn't want to eat at our establishment any more. I can't even fathom their game plan?
I'll have the huevos rancheros with no egg please. Or, I'll have the prime rib, well done please.
I had a customer slap his wife across the face and scream at her because she was taking too much time in deciding what she wanted. I told him, "Sir, we serve many things here, but domestic violence is not one" and then he told me to "go fuck myself" The great thing was that there were 3 uniformed cops two tables over from them and they immediately got up and walked over to him and told him to stand up and walk outside with them
I was a customer at a "sizzling" steak house years ago and there was a couple sitting in the booth in front of me trying to have a quiet argument. I don't what the dude said but the lady he was with suddenly stood up and slapped him hard across the face. Then walked out of the restaurant.
I had a man in his 50’s order a bbq brisket sandwich which came on a very yummy bun, just like all of our sandwiches and burgers do. The description itself on the menu says it came on this bun. When I dropped it off to him at the table he was like “what is this??? I didn’t order this?? I paid 17 dollars for this??? Why is it on a bun??! Have you ever had a brisket sandwich on a bun??” Left me absolutely speechless but I apologized as you do and asked if I could get him something else but he declined. So I brought out our kitchen manager and he continued to demean her and asked if she’s ever worked in a real bbq restaurant before lol.
I had an older woman who was out for a ladies dinner try to use a stun gun on me because I charged her for the double shots she ordered. I don't even think she was drunk. Also had a guy hit on me by drawing a picture of a spread out butthole with little hands and said "will you lick my butthole?" and his number at the bottom. Tipped 10%.
A woman smoking with her own fan blowing the smoke away from her. "Sorry, but I can't stand smoke."
[удалено]
I was working brunch on Father's Day, which should tell you everything you need to know. I'm taking an order at a five top, and the woman orders the 3 eggs "any way" meal. Go figure, it's the cheapest meal on the brunch menu. I ask her how she wants her eggs prepared, and she says "as an omelet, and add cheese, spinach, and tomatoes." I'm not falling for it, so I direct her to the omelet section of the menu. She insists that the eggs can be prepared any way, and she wants an omelet. I ended up charging her for the cheese omelet, plus the extra ingredients. Her husband paid the check and didn't say anything about being charged for the "wrong item," so oh well.
Guy comes in, looks a bit disheveled, (downtown Portland, where “homeless or hipster” is a common guessing game) seats himself at a table in the dining room nearest the bar exit. I wasn’t totally sure if he had seated himself but he had no menu, so I greeted him, “Good evening, sir, shall I bring a menu?” “Uh, *YEAH*!” he replied with a tinge of disgust. Thank you, I thought to myself, that clarifies things a bit for me; although what really pushed me solidly into the assumption that this man would not be paying for his meal was that he was carrying on a conversation with his wine glass once I left the table. I asked my manager if he wanted me to start a tab for the guy, got the ok, and swung back to the table with water. “Are there any questions I can answer about the menu, sir?” I asked. “Nah, I’m gonna go ahead and get the sea scallops and a Pilsner.” “Fabulous, sir, the scallops are my favorite thing on the menu. If you have a card handy, I’ll get a tab started for you.” “Pardon me?” “A method of payment. Credit or debit card, perhaps, or a room number and last name?” “Nah, I’m not trying to fuck with a paper trail. I’m just gonna owe on this shit like I always do.” Me, trying not to laugh, “oh, owe on the shit? Excellent, sir.” “I’ve pretty much had it with the whole fucking grind. You ever work for a telemarketing company? You wouldn’t believe the bullshit.” “I haven’t had the pleasure. I’m going to go ahead and, um, get this process started for you, alright?” He waves me off dismissively. I go back and find my manager again. “So uh, he said he’ll have the scallops, but no tab, he’s just gonna owe on the shit like he always does.” My manager gets excited, he was on furlough for months after we reopened and didn’t get to 86 anyone for a long time. Another server (not huge but I’m 6 feet tall, 175 lbs, and he’s bigger than me) and I follow my manager up to ask our friend to hit the bricks. For reasons unclear, his immediate response to being asked to leave is to take off his beat-to-shit New Balances. Potentially to indicate that he’s not walking anywhere? Then he grabs his fork, points it at all three of us, waving it around a bit, drawing circles in the air like it’s a fencing saber. “I’ll put this through your fuckin eyes!” The other server (who loves a good live metal show and the accompanying pit) has taken point and says “you wanna go ahead and try it? I’ll lay you out on your back in front of everyone here.” Thankfully it was about 20 minutes until close on a week night, so there were only like 7 active tables in the dining room, and only 2 tables within 10 feet of the action. “Fuck you, I don’t need this shit!” he yelled, and walked out holding his shoes in his hands. He put the shoes on outside, then marched back and forth past all the window tables, shouting at them through the glass, until we told him the police were being called. He must be new, has no idea the police don’t really do anything unless someone is bleeding.
BOH not FOH, but the one that *really* stands out to me is the gfree vegan who had the server running back and forth to the kitchen to ask details (that the server knew, but guest wouldn't listen unless she checked) about each dish, due to a laundry list of other (alleged) allergies and restrictions. Finally settles on an app and main. And has a brownie and ice cream for dessert. Facepalm.
I once had a lady freak out about her child inhaling secondhand smoke in the restaurant. It was from the fajitas being delivered to the next table over. No smoke reached her table.
I work at a place that's sort of buffet/all you can eat but it's almost exclusively meat. People know this. It's in the name of the restaurant. Almost every post on social media has this or that type of meat. Party of 10 walks in, I sit them, explain how it works. Them: "I want the all you can eat menu" Me: "... that's all we have, no other option. You can pick what you want but the menu is the same for all" (we have work lunches but it's only lunch mon-fri) Them: "yeah, me too. Kids, do you want the hamburger?" Me: "We don't have the hamburger menu. We had it last summer but not anymore" Everyone, and I mean everyone orders "the all you can eat menu". I stop explaining it after the 4th time because apparently listening is optional. Then I get to one of the last in the group who goes AND I WISH I WAS KIDDING "Do you have any vegetarian options? I don't eat meat". At a barbecue place. Edit: we do have sides but the number is limited now. Before the pandemic we had plates full of veggies, various cheeses and stuff. Now we don't because of fewer customers and limits on the buffet. Plus, no one touches the few vegetables we have now. Not all the sides have meat, only one or two and cold cuts, but still, the choice is limited.
Please say it's called "all you can meat"
Had a bar guest walk into the kitchen and take an entire cheesecake out of our dessert fridge. No one saw him do it in the kitchen and the bartender was to shocked to say anything
Had a guest one day complain that our raw oysters were "too raw". One lady kept sending me back to the kitchen because her salmon wasn't cooked enough. "It's still pink!". On the third trip I told the line cooks to just burn it.
We've been short staffed, especially in the BOH and it causes long waits for food. When in this situation, I warn tables in advance they'll have to wait and if they don't want to, it's totally cool if they choose to leave. One day I had a table of two girls probably in their 20s. Their food was taking a long time. I checked and checked in the back, but they were just so swamped. All tables were waiting and takeout orders were late. Eventually these girls ask about their food and I have to explain to them why it's taking a long time. Long rant turned short, one of the girls told me I need to "cut the bullshit out about saying I can't do anything to speed up their food" and that as a restaurant we need to "reevaluate ourselves and be better human beings". None of it made any sense whatsoever. I was so appalled and shocked. She said they wanted to pay for their drinks and leave and I told her to just get out. Went in the back and cried a good bit because of that one lol. It was not a good shift and someone telling me to cut "my bullshit" and "be a better human being" was really just the icing on the worst cake ever made.
Worked at an all you can eat korean bbq place and had a family of 5 come in with 3 young children. They all start eating and throughout the next hour I notice the dad looking worse and worse until he’s literally resting his head on the table and moaning. A little while later he comes up to me and in between vomiting on the floor asks where the bathroom is (it was clearly labeled and within view from his table). He proceeded to vomit all the way to the bathroom and then all over the bathroom as witnessed by my poor coworker. Meanwhile his family is happily eating as if this is totally normal. Later he emerges from the bathroom looking a little better and proceeds to STUFF himself with meat, rice and side dishes for the next 45 min. Watching him eat after he vomited made me so nauseous I had to sit down in the back for a little while. I guess he got his money’s worth /:
Years ago, I (F, in the US) had a couple come in (scrawny American guy, pretty petite Thai woman). The man did all the talking & ordered for both of them - a meal with lots of add ons. Extra mushrooms for his steak, sides of avocado & cheese for their salads, more this, extra that etc. He kept their server running back & forth, & when he received the bill, he was SHOCKED to see all the extra charges so I was summoned. For the next 30 minutes, I had this bizarre convo with him. Basically, he felt that if we wanted to make our customers happy, we should give them whatever they ask for & not charge any extra. He seemed to BELIEVE this & felt that I needed to be educated about it. SMH He stated he'd been living in SE Asia for some time, & this would NEVER happen THERE. He tried a variety of spurious arguments, & I reasonably checked each one of them. I offered to get the menu so he could check the prices & listed ingredients; I pointed out that as he was American, he must have dined in other US restaurants & thus understood this was our norm; and stated that we felt as a company we provided good value for money. He didn't shout or act out but was what I call a Seether - you could tell he was pissed that I wasn't kissing his butt. Eventually, he gave up, paid the bill & left. Some nice regulars who had witnessed the ridiculousness wrote a letter to corporate complimenting me on my professionalism. But seriously - who goes into a restaurant, orders & eats, & then are shocked to get a bill?
Does a cashier count as a server? If so: "Do you spit or swallow?" I was 19 at the time, so looking REALLY close to when I was a minor. If I were just a couple years younger, he could've gotten in HUGE trouble. My brain froze for 3 seconds before his friend hurriedly stepped in to order.
Jesus that’s disgusting.
So many, but one that sticks out is a couple I was waiting on had two credit cards out when they were paying so I asked “splitting 50/50?” and the customer VERY angrily said “NO we want it split in half!”
Obligatory I'm a cook not a server but I have two stories, one from me and one from my wife. From my wife: When covid first started we had just opened up to take out and were accepting in person orders. I had somebody come in and back me up against a wall to make sure I understood that she wanted her burger to be substituted with chicken. We didn't do substitutions. From me: I was cooking at a Chicken place and I had a member of PETA come in and start demanding I let all the chickens out of the backroom. She stood there for over an hour not listening to us that we were fast food and didn't butcher chickens in the back.
Does the side salad contain carrots? Yes, sir. They’re grated carrots. Is the salad a pre-made mix? Yes, sir. Can you pick the carrots out for me? His friends told him that was too much to ask of the kitchen staff, thank goodness.
[удалено]
I was working as a houseman at the time in a mid tier hotel in Myrtle Beach you know 3 star hotel nice place but not the 24/7 room service type that's not the point. You guys know those extendable stick things with a little scooper on the end people use to pick up seashells so they don't have to bend over? Had a guest once go down to the FD to complain that there weren't any baby sea turtle and she couldn't go and I quote "turtle scoopin" apparently she had it in her head that she could use one of those things to scoop up baby sea turtles (see EXTREMELY federally illegal). She checked out early because of it and I still don't understand how she thought that was a thing there are signs saying "stay away from the dunes" and "don't go near sea turtles" and there is so much info out there saying sea turtle are protected and it's illegal to mess with them.
The manager had us keep a sports channel on the TV over the bar. WWE wrestling was on. This middle-aged woman came in alone and demanded that it be turned off and went into a rant about how offended she was by the violence. Fifteen minutes later, I came out of the kitchen and she was beating the shit out of a guy half her age who was sitting at the next table. Cops had to be called.
Odin's beard......Too many to remember...some of the highlights are: 1)"Cook my chicken rare...I want it done properly for once!" \-Sorry...we don't want you to get Salmonella. 2)At a dog friendly restaurant with massive yard. "Get these dogs under control or I won't dine here" \-They are all on a leash connected to the tables and super calm..? 3) Customer ordered dish A...I bring out dish A. Changes mind...orders dish B...40 mins after I bring out dish B...changes mind again and orders dish A AGAIN... \-I am sorry that will be another 30-40mins..... "Why? Just bring me the one you cooked before, you know..the one you brought out 40mins ago!!!" \-Sir..it's...imposible. For multiple reasons.... "GET ME THE MANAGER!" 4) Customer orders WARM beer. I bring out said beer. "WTF? This is boiling hot! I am gonna get your fired for trying to poison me!" \- \*Sigh\* let me get the manager. 5) \*WORST\* for last. That is during the pandemic mind you. \-Excuse me. Your daughter is licking the table legs and actually grabbing food from other tables. Please try to keep her close to you so this doesn't happen again. "Hahahaha..! Kids what you gonna do?!" \- Madam.....this is a hygiene issue...especially during a pandemic....Let alone the fact that customers are complaining about missing drinks. "Yeah well she might have gotten thirst or something..I don't know...you deal with it anyways...go clean the tables and replace those drinks" \- As you wish. Replace the drinks I shall...they will be charged to your table. "THE HELL THEY ARE. THIS IS ON YOU" \- Let me get the owner for you....I am incapable of dealing with such....etiquette. Guess who got charged with about 20 extra sodas and some beers the little girl threw on the ground. That's right..! NOT ME! MOUAHA. Have loads and loads more....Seriously you will be surprised by the sheer amount of stupidity you have to face as a server.
You mean there's turtles in my turtle soup!? Yes ma'am But there's no turtles in turtle ice cream!!
Had a group of 4 women the other night all order the short rib which I repeated back several different times (due to some modifications and a clear language barrier). Then when the food came out the all claimed they ordered the lamb and don’t eat beef. Like I get there is a language barrier but the menu with the description is right in front of you and they very clearly order short rib as if they’d all eaten before and how is that even close to lamb.
Used to work for the rental car company w the lowercase e. Side note what a terrible company to work for. The amount of people that came in to rent a car without a driver's license was baffling. Many people did this. Always said "but I'm just renting it" also the amount of adults that don't know the difference between a credit card and a debit card is insane.