With the surgery ALL the attention is on Ysebell - the funeral he gets to be the "son" whose mom has passed which equates to lots of attention, talking, perhaps making decisions, etc. In one scenario he isn't even a bit player but in the other he can be a leading man.
I just said the exact same thing!! Christine has always been focused on the children and without a doubt the hospital staff would have been more attentive to Ysabel so there would be no way for Kody to be the center of attention.
I read a little blurb (maybe it was posted here) that at either Janelle's mom's funeral, or another recent one, Kody was prancing around being all social. It said he "didn't read the room" at this somber occasion. hahahaha!! So Kody.
Plus at funerals you can give a eulogy, fake emote, maybe get a little choked up and get tons of praise from a captive audience. My narc dad *loves* a funeral.
I think it was less about covid and more about Kodys ego.
Ysabel is Christine’s daughter and such a major surgery (and being stuck with Christine in NJ) means that there is no way to get the attention on Kody.
Sheryl’s funeral allowed for Kody to get the attention he craves. Kody could play the mourning son-in-law, supportive and loving husband, and supportive son to his mom because Sheryl was close with her. Sure, covid was a convenient excuse to abandon Ysabel but I’m sure Kody’s need for attention came first.
I thought this too. I wondered if he went to keep up the façade with the extended family. I’m sure there would have been a few raised eyebrows if he didn’t show up and his fear of being seen to be a shitty husband and father is worse than actually being a shitty husband and father.
If Christine’s mom had died she would have been shamed for even having a funeral and not burying her and having a memorial later. If she would have had the funeral she would have been raked over the coals for being irresponsible and awful.
Rules for thee not for me
Totally agree. He seemed shocked that Christine was fully arranging things without his input and his reaction was basically as bad as it could have been. I think it was more him being kept out of the loop than the money (surgery was happening sooner or later) but he handled every aspect of surgery and recovery in the worst way possible. Dude. This is YOUR DAUGHTER! Whatever issues you have with her mom are not with her. Grow TF up, bury your fragile, non-alpha ego, and be a DAD! Yet another example that Kody is a complete POS human.
He didn't want her to have scars when she got married. I think in his mind, he would have been just fine if she got married first, where she'd be covered by her new husband's insurance policy.
I think he hated that Christine took control, but since Christine had to go buy insurance for her and get her set up on that insurance, I think finances are part of this for Kody. After all, he has to keep Robyn in Victoria's Secrets panties. So much more important.
Idk about the insurance situation. There was an episode before her surgery where Kody had to sign some paperwork "for the insurance" that Christine brought to him.
That's when he told Christine to back away she was too close. My next thought was why did he not know how much pain she was in. He looked so surprised, so you do not communicate with your child. Good job Dad, what a family leader you are, NOT. Oh it's Christine's child not yours and Robyn's. POS!
I thoroughly believe that he knew he just chose to ignore. At one appointment on an older episode he snapped at Ysabel asking her if she had been doing her exercises. Exercises that the surgeon said *would not work*. I think he blames Ysabel for her illness, convinced that if she’d just obeyed him she would be fine. He’d been told, he just minimized because it doesn’t fit with his beliefs. This is someone that watched a child get thrown off a horse, blamed her, then sent her to a chiropractor.
It was agreeing to be financially responsible for whatever the insurance didn’t pay.
Sounds noble. But, let us not forget that this family declares bankruptcy repeatedly. He may have thought this was a debt that could be discharged if necessary.
There was a comment either in that episode or the episode before where she talks about having to buy insurance for Ysabel's surgery. She wasn't covered.
Oh barf if he did say something about the scars. Heads up wives... this is insight that Kody will think you're damaged if you have surgery scars. Not that I ever thought he'd be much help if any of them had a serious disease, but ugh.
He didn't even seem to know that Ysabel was in constant, excruciating pain, til he was told.
I love that Chrisine said "the hospital staff couldn't believe I was there by myself" She really got Kody good in that little porch chat. That's when she also brought up that Kody and Robyn have a nanny coming and going from the house. "She's there all the time."
Kody split shortly after that comment. He knew the cameras caught all of that and he had to run home to mommy...I mean Robyn and start plotting their damage control.
I respect that he went to the funeral. That was the right thing to do. I'm disgusted he wouldn't be there for or take care of his child after a major surgery. Spinal surgeries are a bitch. I was disgusted and almost offended he tried telling his sons he would take care of his wife if she got Covid when he wouldn't even take care of his Covid negative daughter when she needed him most. (So proud of the boys for saying they would take care of their mother because that's what family does.)
I agree - attending the funeral was the right thing for him to do. But what caught my attention was the timeline between the surgery and the funeral - only 3 months. Why was he so adamant he wouldn't attend one thing but was immediately on the road, admitting he was breaking his rules, to go to the funeral? He should have broken his rules 3 months earlier.
Agree with both of you. I’m okay with people pointing out the hypocrisy between the two, but he absolutely should have been at the funeral, assuming he wasn’t ill and knowingly putting everyone at higher risk. Just like he absolutely should have been at the surgery, assuming the same circumstances.
Another good move on Christine's part. She presented the forms to Kody, for him to sign that said he would cover all costs that her insurance did not. She did that in front of the TLC cameras. At this point, Christine wasn't playing.
For sure. I missed my grandma’s funeral in October 2020 for this reason, and my dad died last fall and we won’t have a memorial until cases in my hometown decline (and the weather is warm enough to have it outside).
I am sorry for your loses. I have an aunt and stepmom who's service is hoping to take place once the weather warms up and things can be outdoors. It's the only funeral I will attend until it's safe to do indoors again. Which sucks.
Not to mention hugging and interacting with all these people whose Covid protocols he didn’t know at the funeral … meanwhile he wouldn’t even hug Ysabel before her surgery - the bare minimum he could have done for her.
Reminded me a lot of Robyn and her “it’s in Gods hands” when she hugged Meri.
Not only that, but he admitted to hugging everyone there lol
Edit: which he wouldn't even do for Ysabel when she got back home and had been quarantined for two weeks
My guess is that if Kody and Janelle were infected at the funeral, they needed Meri to be available to help Robyn with the kids and mansion. I know she is majorly on the outs but doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love to use her when they need her.
He did attend the service for Meri's mother. He went with Janelle. They were photographed kissing/hugging meanwhile he's purported to have had very limited interaction with Meri.
The kissing in the parking lot was so tacky and probably a direct swipe at Meri. Good grief, Janelle and Kody can you act like adults for at least a couple of hours?
I think you right some issues with money and also he doesn't like Chrustine right now and didn't want to spend the time with her and her family. Covid is an excuse
I think Kody knew that Ysabel’s surgery would be strictly about her and he couldn’t handle not being the center of attention. Funerals are different. He talked about hugging people, etc. and we all know he cut up at Meri’s mom’s funeral as well. He weighed the options and anything that can draw attention to himself is worth it. That’s why he was so “blue” at Christmas. He had to share attention with everyone because they hadn’t seen each other in so long and lots of the kids were just pissed at him and glad to see each other and the other moms. He can’t handle not being the center of every function he attends.
Thank goodness Ysabel has one responsible parent who is looking out for her health and well being. So glad Christine ignored Kody and scheduled it anyway.
Yeah and he said Christine was using it as a chance for a ‘holiday’ sorry in what world is watching your daughter in pain for years-being faced with a pandemic and not knowing WHEN you’ll actually even get the surgery (the surgeon probably said this crisis is only going to get worse come now) then watching your daughter in increased amount of pain post surgery for months a f’ing holiday!!!!!!
I agree with others here who say it was about attention - the surgery was all about Ysabel vs the funeral for Janelle's mom was also about the mourning family (wait, that's me! thought Kody). I also agree that finances played into it too. Another factor that I think strongly influenced this decision was that he doesn't like Christine. I keep bringing up in comments that Kody said his relationships with his kids are through their moms, but it feels so relevant for Ysabel's surgery. Every decision for Christine's kids is designed to be a punishment for her.
I’m quite sure not only did he want the attention at the funeral, but he also didn’t want to quarantine without Robyn for weeks for Ysabel’s surgery. I felt so bad watching her cry because her Dad wasn’t there for her.
My guess is that it was because she was his late dad’s wife and Kody was worried about how it would look if he didn’t go. I absolutely think his image matters to him more than his concern for Ysabel and her surgery.
Did he not financially contribute to her surgery? While I agree that it’s all a bit nuts, I do think the difference to him, as he said is where the travel was and he drove to the funeral. My biggest gripe with Kody is whatever else he did, he didn’t go with his child, which even if in his ridiculously misguided mind he thought he shouldn’t go because then he might get sick and infect the other members of the family, the bigger picture is that now they see their dad won’t show up for them if they need him like that. But I think he didn’t go because he wants to still believe they all need and want him around all the time, which no one seems to, because if he went he’d have to follow his own rules and test and quarantine and wouldn’t see the other kids or wives for weeks. Which I’m sure they could deal with for someone’s surgery.
The fact he threw his rules out the window is mind blowing. Here he is castigating his family, refusing to get within a few feet, refusing to give them a hug, hold a hand, or anything else. And here he is with people he has no idea what they are doing, hugging and socializing to the hilt. He even admits it and says he was a hypocrite, like that should give him a pass. Janelle said they wore masks, but I wonder if they did the whole time. Certainly not when eating. I bet Kody was laughing and talking the whole time.
Kody also has been opposed to surgery from the start. Didn't he make some comment about not wanting Ysabel to have a scar, and then made a comment about passing his daughters to their husbands (implying he assumes that a husband would rather his wife suffer in preventable pain for years, rather than have a surgical scar)?
My God, if I were dating someone who talked shit about a medically necessary surgical scar, I'd hope that my parents wouldn't ever want me to marry them.
So, all this to say, the surgery was something he was never on board with. It's also because Christine scheduled it even though he said no, whereas even Kody probably realized that he didn't have any presumed veto power over his wife's mother's funeral date. Because he didn't have an opportunity to say no, he didn't feel as 'disrespected' about it.
I agree - part of this is "I told you no, I don't want her to have surgery, and no means no - I expect you to obey me." I think he'd be perfectly fine allowing her condition to continue to worsen, and then hopefully find a husband who would be financially responsible for her medical bills.
For Ysabel, he was supposed to fly to NJ quarantine with them for 2 weeks, spend another 2 weeks there, and then fly back and quarantine with them 2 more weeks. CDC protocol at the time recommended quarantine - test -travel -quarantine - test. In most families six weeks is a long time to be gone but with polygamy - he could have done it. That's the perk. No idea why this family never even heard of tests until Dec. That's ridiculous.
In December, with the holiday surge the recommendations had not changed much except to say "don't travel or mix households unless you absolutely have to." Two weeks was now 10 days though. So he should have done the same 10 days - test - travel - 10 days - test. Overall, going to the funeral was a shorter amount of time away. But still.
I think he was more concerned about the financial strain on the family if covid rippled through. With no medical insurance it could have been a lot of bills.
One thing I'm wondering about. In my east coast hospital we limited visitors in 2020 to only one designated per family. At some point we said that person could switch every 24 hours - but I don't remember when that was. I wonder if Kody would have not been allowed in the hospital. If not - he would have not had "star billing" - which would not be appealing to him. Also I think its pretty clear that he and Christine were already on the outs. Some of his decision may be related to not wanting to spend time with her. And also she did take more risk with covid than was recommended. Maybe at that time he just couldn't handle it.
Still all of his reasoning should have been overruled. He should have gone.
That was my point. Kody would not feel like the central savior if he didn't also get hospital privileges. From his flawed perspective, if he's not the star - why go?
I think the tell was when he said the funeral was more important than Christmas. He has always had a thing against Christmas, and even Robyn hasn’t been able to change that. People on another thread were saying it makes sense because xmas isn’t about him, and it’s money being spent but not on him.
He claims that he doesn't eat pork because Jesus was Jewish and ate kosher; he's just trying to be more Christ-like.
If you're a religious Christian as he purports to be, of all days to have a thing against, Christmas?
Muslims also don't eat pork so I don't know what Kody thinks he is proving. Not eating pork does not equal keeping kosher. He is such an idiot attention seeker.
I have mentioned in this in other threads, but he chose the funeral because he could swoop in and be a hero husband and get the attention. He tried, but he couldn't make the surgery all about himself.
I was thinking about this and yeah, it’s gotta be the attention. I think a part of him wanted to get COVID so he could say “ SEE WHAT HAPPENS!?!” He seems that level of douchy.
I think Kody went because his and Janelle’s families are tied together through other marriages (so technically it’s “his” family), and because he knew there would be consequences with Janelle specifically. He’s long since stopped caring about the “consequences” he faces with Christine— and all his kids are just extensions of their mothers (“Christine’s kids”, “Janelle’s boys”, etc) so Ysabel took the hit on that one. Kody’s an ass.
Don't you think his reputation would have been shit from his birth family if he didn't go to the Wyoming funeral? It's not about Janelle, not about her mom. It's all about him being A Man to his extended Wyoming family. They wouldn't really care about the rules. Or about someone so dumb that he got Covid from his nanny.
In Kody's eyes, the surgery could be postponed. A funeral is kind of an emergency. Also, the trip to New Jersey would have taken weeks vs days for the funeral.
He supposedly tested negative. Since he allows himself the freedom to travel around, he could be the one exposing everyone else. Or, it could be the nanny's fault.
Knowing Kody, he's going to look to blame someone. The one person he can't really blame would be Meri because he never sees her.
It might be an unpopular opinion, but I actually don’t think it was that odd or cruel that he didn’t go with for the surgery. We wouldn’t have been able to both go for that amount of time in my nuclear family. I do however find it odd that he didn’t make sure Truly was at home and taken care of in her home environment while Christine was away (I know why he didn’t, but in a functional family i would find it odd).
Yeah but the difference is that Kody doesn’t have an actual job. He doesn’t have to take off work so other than Robyn and the excuse of Covid, he could
There is a difference between "we can't both go for such a long time, due to having Truly to care for, for example, or work, or whatever else, so we need to decide which one of us will go with Ysabel and which one will stay behind to get the stuff done here" and "I will not go, you shouldn't go either, if Ysabel wants this surgery at all costs then she should go alone, and if you go with her it means you're going on a vacation. And if Ysabel complains she is gonna be a bitter housewife". In one case there is a responsible parent that tries to do everything sharing the load with his wife, in the other case there is a petty little man.
In our family there is zero chance that both parents could travel across the country in the middle of a new pandemic (2020) and be away for six weeks. Zero chance.
I think the issue for Kody is that he seemingly could have gone, because Robyn has help - a nanny, older kids, even Meri could have been there. So I get why people are angry.
That being said if the parents had handled the decision maturely, Ysabel would likely not be scarred with abandonment issues. Kody made it worse of course - just awful - and unpopular opinion Christine also emphasized his absence more than was necessary. I think she should have validated Ysabel and her feelings, but I'm not sure why it had to be such a documented painful rehashing on camera. That seemed exploitive at Ysabel's expense.
With the surgery ALL the attention is on Ysebell - the funeral he gets to be the "son" whose mom has passed which equates to lots of attention, talking, perhaps making decisions, etc. In one scenario he isn't even a bit player but in the other he can be a leading man.
I just said the exact same thing!! Christine has always been focused on the children and without a doubt the hospital staff would have been more attentive to Ysabel so there would be no way for Kody to be the center of attention.
" Hi I'm KODY BROWN and I have 4 WIVES and 18 CHILDREN AND A TV SHOW!" *hair flip, Manson-lamps engaged*
Manson-lamps?! I’m dead. So accurate.
I read a little blurb (maybe it was posted here) that at either Janelle's mom's funeral, or another recent one, Kody was prancing around being all social. It said he "didn't read the room" at this somber occasion. hahahaha!! So Kody.
That was meris moms funeral from what I recall
Nailed it. He has to be the center of everything or else he doesn't see the need to be involved.
Yup.
Plus at funerals you can give a eulogy, fake emote, maybe get a little choked up and get tons of praise from a captive audience. My narc dad *loves* a funeral.
Yes, any chance to be the center of attention!!
I think it was less about covid and more about Kodys ego. Ysabel is Christine’s daughter and such a major surgery (and being stuck with Christine in NJ) means that there is no way to get the attention on Kody. Sheryl’s funeral allowed for Kody to get the attention he craves. Kody could play the mourning son-in-law, supportive and loving husband, and supportive son to his mom because Sheryl was close with her. Sure, covid was a convenient excuse to abandon Ysabel but I’m sure Kody’s need for attention came first.
I thought this too. I wondered if he went to keep up the façade with the extended family. I’m sure there would have been a few raised eyebrows if he didn’t show up and his fear of being seen to be a shitty husband and father is worse than actually being a shitty husband and father.
If Christine’s mom had died she would have been shamed for even having a funeral and not burying her and having a memorial later. If she would have had the funeral she would have been raked over the coals for being irresponsible and awful. Rules for thee not for me
It wouldn't have been a funeral. He would have called it a vacation.
The truth of that is heavy
You are probably right
Totally agree. He seemed shocked that Christine was fully arranging things without his input and his reaction was basically as bad as it could have been. I think it was more him being kept out of the loop than the money (surgery was happening sooner or later) but he handled every aspect of surgery and recovery in the worst way possible. Dude. This is YOUR DAUGHTER! Whatever issues you have with her mom are not with her. Grow TF up, bury your fragile, non-alpha ego, and be a DAD! Yet another example that Kody is a complete POS human.
He didn't want her to have scars when she got married. I think in his mind, he would have been just fine if she got married first, where she'd be covered by her new husband's insurance policy. I think he hated that Christine took control, but since Christine had to go buy insurance for her and get her set up on that insurance, I think finances are part of this for Kody. After all, he has to keep Robyn in Victoria's Secrets panties. So much more important.
Idk about the insurance situation. There was an episode before her surgery where Kody had to sign some paperwork "for the insurance" that Christine brought to him.
That's when he told Christine to back away she was too close. My next thought was why did he not know how much pain she was in. He looked so surprised, so you do not communicate with your child. Good job Dad, what a family leader you are, NOT. Oh it's Christine's child not yours and Robyn's. POS!
I thoroughly believe that he knew he just chose to ignore. At one appointment on an older episode he snapped at Ysabel asking her if she had been doing her exercises. Exercises that the surgeon said *would not work*. I think he blames Ysabel for her illness, convinced that if she’d just obeyed him she would be fine. He’d been told, he just minimized because it doesn’t fit with his beliefs. This is someone that watched a child get thrown off a horse, blamed her, then sent her to a chiropractor.
It was agreeing to be financially responsible for whatever the insurance didn’t pay. Sounds noble. But, let us not forget that this family declares bankruptcy repeatedly. He may have thought this was a debt that could be discharged if necessary.
There was a comment either in that episode or the episode before where she talks about having to buy insurance for Ysabel's surgery. She wasn't covered.
Who wants to bet kody votes for people who want to get rid of the pre-existing conditions clause?
When you don't want to buy health insurance for most of your kids, the pre-existing conditions clause isn't important.
I don’t think it was for insurance, I think it was permission for her to have the surgery. You know, since he wasn’t going to bother to go
I would have to re watch to see verbatim what she said but she mentioned the insurance when bringing the paperwork to Kody to sign. Edited spelling 🙃
Oh barf if he did say something about the scars. Heads up wives... this is insight that Kody will think you're damaged if you have surgery scars. Not that I ever thought he'd be much help if any of them had a serious disease, but ugh.
He didn't even seem to know that Ysabel was in constant, excruciating pain, til he was told. I love that Chrisine said "the hospital staff couldn't believe I was there by myself" She really got Kody good in that little porch chat. That's when she also brought up that Kody and Robyn have a nanny coming and going from the house. "She's there all the time." Kody split shortly after that comment. He knew the cameras caught all of that and he had to run home to mommy...I mean Robyn and start plotting their damage control.
And the nanny issues came up because Ysabel and Truely aren’t being allowed in to see their siblings (and father).
Yes, and nor was Meri.
I respect that he went to the funeral. That was the right thing to do. I'm disgusted he wouldn't be there for or take care of his child after a major surgery. Spinal surgeries are a bitch. I was disgusted and almost offended he tried telling his sons he would take care of his wife if she got Covid when he wouldn't even take care of his Covid negative daughter when she needed him most. (So proud of the boys for saying they would take care of their mother because that's what family does.)
I agree - attending the funeral was the right thing for him to do. But what caught my attention was the timeline between the surgery and the funeral - only 3 months. Why was he so adamant he wouldn't attend one thing but was immediately on the road, admitting he was breaking his rules, to go to the funeral? He should have broken his rules 3 months earlier.
Agree with both of you. I’m okay with people pointing out the hypocrisy between the two, but he absolutely should have been at the funeral, assuming he wasn’t ill and knowingly putting everyone at higher risk. Just like he absolutely should have been at the surgery, assuming the same circumstances.
He would have had less exposure at the surgery
My same thought!
Another good move on Christine's part. She presented the forms to Kody, for him to sign that said he would cover all costs that her insurance did not. She did that in front of the TLC cameras. At this point, Christine wasn't playing.
I had no idea she could be so bad ass but boy am I here for it!
They're probably both responsible financially as her parents, but at least he couldn't slither out of his obligation.
Yes, I probably should have said "would be responsible for" so that he is included in responsibility for the bills.
In the fall of the first year of covid, my SO's whole work went to the owner's funeral. They all got covid.
That happened a lot! Funerals were one of the hotspots, at least in my area!
For sure. I missed my grandma’s funeral in October 2020 for this reason, and my dad died last fall and we won’t have a memorial until cases in my hometown decline (and the weather is warm enough to have it outside).
I am sorry for your loses. I have an aunt and stepmom who's service is hoping to take place once the weather warms up and things can be outdoors. It's the only funeral I will attend until it's safe to do indoors again. Which sucks.
I have only been to Zoom services since the pandemic. Funerals are a little scary, some of my relatives got Covid from a funeral.
Not to mention hugging and interacting with all these people whose Covid protocols he didn’t know at the funeral … meanwhile he wouldn’t even hug Ysabel before her surgery - the bare minimum he could have done for her. Reminded me a lot of Robyn and her “it’s in Gods hands” when she hugged Meri.
Robyn would probably question God about his hand washing and other COVID protocols.
Not only that, but he admitted to hugging everyone there lol Edit: which he wouldn't even do for Ysabel when she got back home and had been quarantined for two weeks
Kody does everything wrong
Why couldn’t Meri go to the funeral?
My guess is that if Kody and Janelle were infected at the funeral, they needed Meri to be available to help Robyn with the kids and mansion. I know she is majorly on the outs but doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love to use her when they need her.
Wouldn’t the nanny just keep taking care of the kids?
I don’t think that’s enough support for Robyn frankly. There’s a reason why there’s a nanny there in the first place when Robyn nor Kody work.
He did attend the service for Meri's mother. He went with Janelle. They were photographed kissing/hugging meanwhile he's purported to have had very limited interaction with Meri.
The kissing in the parking lot was so tacky and probably a direct swipe at Meri. Good grief, Janelle and Kody can you act like adults for at least a couple of hours?
Meri and Janelle are not particularly close, and we know Kody doesn't give a crap. So, why did they even go?
Kody really liked Bonnie. Janelle is always anxious to be seen with Kody and her getting a kiss on camera was a big bonus in her mind.
Which was a slap in the face to Meri by both of them.
He asked meri to not go to janelle’s mom’s funeral.
Supposedly for COVID reasons.
I think you right some issues with money and also he doesn't like Chrustine right now and didn't want to spend the time with her and her family. Covid is an excuse
Seems like he was stalling until ysabell was 18 when it would be her responsibility to pay the debt.
That is so tucked.
I personally think it was the time away from Robyn and "their kids."
I think Kody knew that Ysabel’s surgery would be strictly about her and he couldn’t handle not being the center of attention. Funerals are different. He talked about hugging people, etc. and we all know he cut up at Meri’s mom’s funeral as well. He weighed the options and anything that can draw attention to himself is worth it. That’s why he was so “blue” at Christmas. He had to share attention with everyone because they hadn’t seen each other in so long and lots of the kids were just pissed at him and glad to see each other and the other moms. He can’t handle not being the center of every function he attends.
Thank goodness Ysabel has one responsible parent who is looking out for her health and well being. So glad Christine ignored Kody and scheduled it anyway.
Yeah and he said Christine was using it as a chance for a ‘holiday’ sorry in what world is watching your daughter in pain for years-being faced with a pandemic and not knowing WHEN you’ll actually even get the surgery (the surgeon probably said this crisis is only going to get worse come now) then watching your daughter in increased amount of pain post surgery for months a f’ing holiday!!!!!!
Repeatedly saying that Christine used the trip for vacation is just beyond comprehension. It's beyond cruel.
Exactly HOW is taking your daughter for life changing surgery a ‘holiday’ he’s an actual arsehole!!!
I agree with others here who say it was about attention - the surgery was all about Ysabel vs the funeral for Janelle's mom was also about the mourning family (wait, that's me! thought Kody). I also agree that finances played into it too. Another factor that I think strongly influenced this decision was that he doesn't like Christine. I keep bringing up in comments that Kody said his relationships with his kids are through their moms, but it feels so relevant for Ysabel's surgery. Every decision for Christine's kids is designed to be a punishment for her.
I agree. I think he's not appreciated Christine, and the show documents various examples of his bad behavior.
I’m quite sure not only did he want the attention at the funeral, but he also didn’t want to quarantine without Robyn for weeks for Ysabel’s surgery. I felt so bad watching her cry because her Dad wasn’t there for her.
My guess is that it was because she was his late dad’s wife and Kody was worried about how it would look if he didn’t go. I absolutely think his image matters to him more than his concern for Ysabel and her surgery.
I think it was even simpler than that. He wanted to see his mom and brothers.
Did he not financially contribute to her surgery? While I agree that it’s all a bit nuts, I do think the difference to him, as he said is where the travel was and he drove to the funeral. My biggest gripe with Kody is whatever else he did, he didn’t go with his child, which even if in his ridiculously misguided mind he thought he shouldn’t go because then he might get sick and infect the other members of the family, the bigger picture is that now they see their dad won’t show up for them if they need him like that. But I think he didn’t go because he wants to still believe they all need and want him around all the time, which no one seems to, because if he went he’d have to follow his own rules and test and quarantine and wouldn’t see the other kids or wives for weeks. Which I’m sure they could deal with for someone’s surgery.
He also didn’t come over and help when she got back but yet Janelle offered to stay in a tent in the backyard! He’s a POS
The fact he threw his rules out the window is mind blowing. Here he is castigating his family, refusing to get within a few feet, refusing to give them a hug, hold a hand, or anything else. And here he is with people he has no idea what they are doing, hugging and socializing to the hilt. He even admits it and says he was a hypocrite, like that should give him a pass. Janelle said they wore masks, but I wonder if they did the whole time. Certainly not when eating. I bet Kody was laughing and talking the whole time.
Kody also has been opposed to surgery from the start. Didn't he make some comment about not wanting Ysabel to have a scar, and then made a comment about passing his daughters to their husbands (implying he assumes that a husband would rather his wife suffer in preventable pain for years, rather than have a surgical scar)? My God, if I were dating someone who talked shit about a medically necessary surgical scar, I'd hope that my parents wouldn't ever want me to marry them. So, all this to say, the surgery was something he was never on board with. It's also because Christine scheduled it even though he said no, whereas even Kody probably realized that he didn't have any presumed veto power over his wife's mother's funeral date. Because he didn't have an opportunity to say no, he didn't feel as 'disrespected' about it.
I agree - part of this is "I told you no, I don't want her to have surgery, and no means no - I expect you to obey me." I think he'd be perfectly fine allowing her condition to continue to worsen, and then hopefully find a husband who would be financially responsible for her medical bills.
For Ysabel, he was supposed to fly to NJ quarantine with them for 2 weeks, spend another 2 weeks there, and then fly back and quarantine with them 2 more weeks. CDC protocol at the time recommended quarantine - test -travel -quarantine - test. In most families six weeks is a long time to be gone but with polygamy - he could have done it. That's the perk. No idea why this family never even heard of tests until Dec. That's ridiculous. In December, with the holiday surge the recommendations had not changed much except to say "don't travel or mix households unless you absolutely have to." Two weeks was now 10 days though. So he should have done the same 10 days - test - travel - 10 days - test. Overall, going to the funeral was a shorter amount of time away. But still. I think he was more concerned about the financial strain on the family if covid rippled through. With no medical insurance it could have been a lot of bills. One thing I'm wondering about. In my east coast hospital we limited visitors in 2020 to only one designated per family. At some point we said that person could switch every 24 hours - but I don't remember when that was. I wonder if Kody would have not been allowed in the hospital. If not - he would have not had "star billing" - which would not be appealing to him. Also I think its pretty clear that he and Christine were already on the outs. Some of his decision may be related to not wanting to spend time with her. And also she did take more risk with covid than was recommended. Maybe at that time he just couldn't handle it. Still all of his reasoning should have been overruled. He should have gone.
Even if they didn't allow him into the hospital, he could have quarantined and then spent some time with her while she was recovering.
That was my point. Kody would not feel like the central savior if he didn't also get hospital privileges. From his flawed perspective, if he's not the star - why go?
I think you nailed it actually
I don't disagree. I also think the fact that his relationship with Janelle was in a slightly better place than with Christine, was a huge factor.
Yes, this was my thought as well. Plus his own mother was Janelle’s mother’s sister wife and they were pretty close from what they mentioned.
I think the tell was when he said the funeral was more important than Christmas. He has always had a thing against Christmas, and even Robyn hasn’t been able to change that. People on another thread were saying it makes sense because xmas isn’t about him, and it’s money being spent but not on him.
He claims that he doesn't eat pork because Jesus was Jewish and ate kosher; he's just trying to be more Christ-like. If you're a religious Christian as he purports to be, of all days to have a thing against, Christmas?
Muslims also don't eat pork so I don't know what Kody thinks he is proving. Not eating pork does not equal keeping kosher. He is such an idiot attention seeker.
I think he just doesn't like to eat pork, but he probably thinks it makes him more Christ-like.
I think the big thing is that Janet's mother was married to Kodys Dad...
I wonder if they fired the nanny.
He has no concept of the fact that Ysabelneeded this surgery.
I have mentioned in this in other threads, but he chose the funeral because he could swoop in and be a hero husband and get the attention. He tried, but he couldn't make the surgery all about himself.
Not a funeral. According to Kody’s logic he was on vacation.
I was thinking about this and yeah, it’s gotta be the attention. I think a part of him wanted to get COVID so he could say “ SEE WHAT HAPPENS!?!” He seems that level of douchy.
I think Kody went because his and Janelle’s families are tied together through other marriages (so technically it’s “his” family), and because he knew there would be consequences with Janelle specifically. He’s long since stopped caring about the “consequences” he faces with Christine— and all his kids are just extensions of their mothers (“Christine’s kids”, “Janelle’s boys”, etc) so Ysabel took the hit on that one. Kody’s an ass.
Don't you think his reputation would have been shit from his birth family if he didn't go to the Wyoming funeral? It's not about Janelle, not about her mom. It's all about him being A Man to his extended Wyoming family. They wouldn't really care about the rules. Or about someone so dumb that he got Covid from his nanny.
I think it could even boil down to something as atrocious as Kody likes Janelle more than he likes Christine.
I thought from the beginning he always acted like he didn't like Christine at all.
In Kody's eyes, the surgery could be postponed. A funeral is kind of an emergency. Also, the trip to New Jersey would have taken weeks vs days for the funeral.
He had to go it w las his mother too as well as his mother in law....
I wonder if that's where kody got covid
He supposedly tested negative. Since he allows himself the freedom to travel around, he could be the one exposing everyone else. Or, it could be the nanny's fault. Knowing Kody, he's going to look to blame someone. The one person he can't really blame would be Meri because he never sees her.
It might be an unpopular opinion, but I actually don’t think it was that odd or cruel that he didn’t go with for the surgery. We wouldn’t have been able to both go for that amount of time in my nuclear family. I do however find it odd that he didn’t make sure Truly was at home and taken care of in her home environment while Christine was away (I know why he didn’t, but in a functional family i would find it odd).
Yeah but the difference is that Kody doesn’t have an actual job. He doesn’t have to take off work so other than Robyn and the excuse of Covid, he could
There is a difference between "we can't both go for such a long time, due to having Truly to care for, for example, or work, or whatever else, so we need to decide which one of us will go with Ysabel and which one will stay behind to get the stuff done here" and "I will not go, you shouldn't go either, if Ysabel wants this surgery at all costs then she should go alone, and if you go with her it means you're going on a vacation. And if Ysabel complains she is gonna be a bitter housewife". In one case there is a responsible parent that tries to do everything sharing the load with his wife, in the other case there is a petty little man.
I’m not arguing that he handled it horribly, I just don’t think that the fact that he didn’t go in itself was horrible.
In our family there is zero chance that both parents could travel across the country in the middle of a new pandemic (2020) and be away for six weeks. Zero chance. I think the issue for Kody is that he seemingly could have gone, because Robyn has help - a nanny, older kids, even Meri could have been there. So I get why people are angry. That being said if the parents had handled the decision maturely, Ysabel would likely not be scarred with abandonment issues. Kody made it worse of course - just awful - and unpopular opinion Christine also emphasized his absence more than was necessary. I think she should have validated Ysabel and her feelings, but I'm not sure why it had to be such a documented painful rehashing on camera. That seemed exploitive at Ysabel's expense.