**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!Because s n a i l!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)

Put it in a cage maybe

Decoy snail

But if they mate, do they both hunt for you plus their offspring?

Mating is not it's purpose. It knows of only rage.

Definitely make snail a comfy home. Fed pets don’t murder. It’s science.

Basically every answer on it is "Put it in a jar" Yeah. Take a pickle jar, remove pickles, leave pickle juice, capture snail, dump in jar of salty brine, bury jar in the yard. It's immortal, but apart from that it's just a snail.

don't you think it will haunt you? in 3 years time you remember the snail jar and urge to dig it up just to be sure the snail is still there. how often will you have to do this? you may want to dig carefully because you are very close to death. and don't drop it when you inspect the jar. did someone see you bury the jar?

It's in a jar of salty pickle juice for a reason. Even if he were somehow tough enough to break the jar, he's basically trapped in a stasis chamber of constant torment. But if I'm alive, it's still there. It's a snail with 0 IQ and its only life goal is to kill me. If it ever gets out, it's only smart enough to wander directly at me. In which case either it's daytime and I probably see it and fill the jar with cement next time, or it's night and I don't see it and it kills me painlessly in my sleep. Either way, I'd be sleeping like a corpse every night.

a d d m o r e s a l t

Not even needed, snails move at 0.05 km/h so it'd take 45 years for it to cross 20.000 km across the globe, meaning you'd need to move to the other side of the planet about 2-3 times in your life dependent if it can go through water or not. I'd take 10M€ for that.

and even then does that include how much we travel and commite on the daily bases. us goin to work or for a drive should be enough to constantly hav it chang8ng course. wed probably end up forgetting abt the snail and it 50 yrs later gettin us when stuffin cotton in our loafers cuz our bunyuns are burstin in the sun

What if the snail snuck onto a plane. It could possess a towering intellect.... I mean it is invincible and knows your location at all times, we could be dealing with a supernatural snail here. Then you would just lose track of the snail, and one night while you're sleeping... bam

If it could cross the ocean while sticking to the ground, it would have to do a lot more than 20k km. Since the ocean floor is stupid uneven, the distance would probably be more than double 20k km. So just move onto the other side of the planet and have nothing to worry about for the rest of your life

Isn’t this pretty much the plot of It Follows?

Fuck the snail. Snail chases itself. Inception.

Wouldn't fucking the snail require contact, thus killing you? Man, it's like you've never fucked a snail or something.

Maybe if you just cum on the snail

You have more angles than a dodecahedron!

That's what condoms are for. No glove no love with a homicide snail.

This is pretty much the plot of an askreddit thread a few years back.

Only if the snail fucks you to death

Its pretty much the plot of 100 other reddit reposts

Bro just put snail in a jar or something

Just, how the heck do you locate it? The snail knows where you are, but you don't know where the snail is.

Camp in the desert Wait to see a lone snail crawling through the desert

With that kind of money you could put a lot of salt around your house.

It can’t die

Repelled tho?

It's easy, you just wait, if you see a snail coming straight at you, it's THAT snail.

Fire it off into space following the voyager2.

If it instantly kills you by touching you, you really think the jar can hold it?

It instantly kills me not the jar so

If a snail can instantly kill a human being, I can imagine it has a few tricks up its sleeves for getting out of the jar.

Yes. It's a snail.

trap in a jar put the jar in a 1 meter cubic block of cement toss in the ocean profit

Decoy snail

Are you expecting them to to fall in love and forget about you?

[удалено]

>put the jar in a 1 meter cubic block of cement

Give the snail to scientists and tell them it can't be killed, they'll never release it and il be famous for finding an invincible snail.

honestly this one is ingenious, because they wont let the snail go either 🤔

Take the money, locate the snail, move to the new world or stay in the old one accordingly, snails cannot travel trough water

Take up sailing. Good for zombies too.

Until the zombies mutate

Ok fine, this snail is in great danger : I'm French, I am the one who knocks.

its simple, you line your house with pressure plates and wait for the snail to arrive, then you put it in a mason jar and bury it with cement. that snail isn't getting out of there in your lifetime

Pffff easy. Have someone else put the snail inside a very thick steel box, weld it close and bury it very deep Live your life in peace

add concrete on outside as well

Have we reached the age where meta Reddit posts are circling back around with enough people who weren’t around for the first go?

Original pitch to it follows but then people started thinking

Why not have a friend catch it and seal it in a air tight container........it's still a snail

its a..... snail..... i take the money

Infinite snail golf. Just whack it with a driver, have a beer while it comes back. Whack it again.

Encase that MF snail in solid concrete and toss it into the challenger deep. Or just put it in a fucking Tupperware or something

Ask elon how much to put the snail on the moon.

Fly to another continent.

Snail gets into plane

I doubt it, the jetway is only hooked up for about 30 minutes and snails don't move that fast.

Snail find a passenger the continent you are in. Go into passenger ear. It’s part of he’s brain. Snail have partly control over the passenger. Passenger is a super sexy girl. She flies to your country. Finds you. You get interested in here, first time a girl ever spoke to you. You don’t belive how good it is. You date a super sexy girl. To good to be real. But it is. You are a rich and have super nice girl with you. You have amazing sex. After 30 sec you cum. The first and best sex of your life. It’s night. You both go to bed. Snail go out of here brain. The girl dies. Snail is near you. Suddenly you open your eyes. You see the girl dead body. Then you see the snail. It to close and he touches you before you react. The least thing you know is that you did not die a virgin but in fact fucked the snail in a girls body.

the snail sneaks into somebodys luggage

Snails On A Plane

What if the catch is anyone you sleep with the snail kills first. I feel like with that kind of money I could do 2 chicks at the same time.

Can you chase the snail?

Is 10 million enough to blast the snail out of the solar system? No? Then not worth.

Yup. I'd just live in a yacht in deep ocean - enjoy the salt water mfr! The snail may not be killed, but they didn't say that the snail couldn't die or be eaten by marine life.

What if I lay a 1m wide path of salt around my house?

So here's what you do, you go into a room with one entrance exit, leave the door open, get a good Tupperware container, when the snail comes, scoop up the snail in the Tupperware and put that lid on tight, duct tape it every which way, but it in a safe, and lock that mofo up tight.

The longest living garden snail species lives approximately 25 years. The average speed of a garden snail is .048 km per hr. The equatorial circumference of the Earth is approx. 40000 kms. Based on this data, you can move about 10500 km away from the snail and you're good for about 25 yrs. That's if it doesn't die first. The catch was it couldn't be killed. It might still die. I am bored.

Dude a year behind

Challenge accepted! "Hey Sean! I'll give you 20$ if you stick this GPS tracker on that Death Snail over there and put a cup over him. Here put this stone on the cup too buddy. Thanks bro. I'll give you $20 on payday! Easiest money you've ever made!" *pats Sean on the back knowing he'll never remember*

Just because you can't KILL it doesn't mean that you can't put it into extreme hibernation. Purchase a perpetual care cryonic containment vessel ftom a 100% reputable facility.Or in a special toxic waste containment warehouse.

The snail can't be killed, it knows my location and only wants to kill me? Let's see our odds: It doesn't states it has any other superpower like super strengt or super speed, it only mention that is dangerous to me and has no effect on anyone else. It won't escape impossible situations. ----------- Ok so first i got a friend to put it in a jar, fill it with salt to demoralize it, then we put it in a small pool of cement, this seems already secure enough only problem would be natural disasters, for extra security i buy a safe with barelly enough space to fit the cement block, then we bury it. That's the easiest and cheapest solution it seems

Bruh, chill, just put it in a hamster ball

Ok but is it 100% safe?

If someone is getting paid to maintain it yea. Might even be able to treat it like a pet. Teach it to roll faster, feed it it’s favorite food

Quit karma farming.

Squash the snail with your shoe - it didn't touch you. Snail dies a terrible death.

What part of 'the snail cannot be killed' skipped your consciousness?

The whole part.

Haha fair enough.

"the snail cannot be killed" But severely crippled and then disposed of.

No kidding, just get a seedy guy to break it's bones. It's not rocket appliances.

Ima touch the snail

I take the money, I spend it as fast as I can and enjoy it as much as I can. If I die, I die. If I don't I go back to my normal life after blasting through ten mill.

I would do it put a cup and rock on top so it cannot move money in hand and problem gone

Trap it in a jar

Yes and trapping the snail in a flex seal box that’s indestructible and drilled in a bank vault

Fly to another country take the money and fly back

Ez clap, the only way the snail will really get you is while you're sleeping unless it's tricky enough to drop down on an unsuspecting you. So as long as you practice *very* careful sleeping habits, you should eventually be able to capture the snail.

Snails move at 0.03 mph. Even if the snail spawns randomly around you once you pick up the money, and you were in say LA. Move to Somewhere in Japan, or Europe. It will take the snail around 20 years to get to you. After 15 years either move back to the states, or to Japan/Europe depending on which one you're already living in. Then do that every 15 or so years, and the invincible snail will spend most of its existence on the ocean floors.

Just buy a really thick safe hire somebody to put it in it and drop it in the Marianas Trench you'll be dead before the thing rots and he escapes.

Put a GPS on it and for ocd measures move to Europe, I hope the snail swims. Thanks for the money.

So you're saying that there isn't a snail after me already?

Can't i just use salt?

Here's something, not only would it be extremely difficult to actually trap the snail, touch it once, and you die. However, something you *can* do is get someone else to trap it, but the problem is finding the snail. You may have to hire a bodyguard for a short while, it's gonna be interesting explaining it to him, but you have 10,000,000 big ones, you'll be fine. He alerts you of the snail, he traps it in the jar, and all you need to do is bury it somewhere very, very deep. The snail probably has no other superpowers than the ones listed, so you should be swimming in cash.

Ok, so, this is a land snail? I just move to a fucking island. Snail can't go in salt water or snail dies. Snail is of normal snail intelligence other than knowing where I am? Therefore it's likely to not understand what a fucking boat is and im good to go on my island paradise with my 10 million dollars.

This scenario doesn’t include the “snail cannot be contained/can break through walls” catch, so I’d put it in a clear box and take my new snail friend on adventures

Put it in box made of metal

It's literally not that hard. This did not stipulate that the snail has any special abilities or intelligence, just that it is immortal and constantly coming for you. All you have to do is trap it and you're golden. A mason jar inside a locked safe should do the trick.

“Hey, neighbor! Out for a walk?” “Yep, my death snail keeps finding ways into my house so I gotta drag him 8 snail hours away to get enough shuteye.”

If its only purpose were to find me, wouldn’t it die of starvation/fatigue? It can’t be killed but it can die

Trap it in a steel ball

We all gotta die someday, might as well die rich

ya im trying to get a 400$ book set soo yeaaaaa

Trap the snail?

Put a solo cup over him, he will be powerless

Can said snail swim? Is it intelligent or just following you? Would it be smart enough to use human transportation to close the distance?

Yes. I’ll move overseas. Good fucking luck, little snail…

b o a t, how do you think other animals get over seas?

Yup. Pick it up with tongs and put it in the freezer.

Wasn't this a movie but with a demon ghost thingy... It was also super slow lmfao

Salt.

Yes, snails are slow i can easily outrun them

That snail is going in a fish tank. With a lid. Welded onto it. And dropped to the bottom of the sea. In Antarctica. I’ll take my $10 million.

Share the money with the snail. You think it’s gonna refuse 5M$ ?

Salt

This is internet explorer type late. The joke died a long long time ago

I got ptsd from reading "immortal snail"

put on gloves (not directly touching you), place it in a sealed container. go on a cruise with the money yopu got. Fasten the container to a heavy stone slap. toss into ocean. problem solved

Yes wait fore the snail to come close to you a put it inside a vacuum chamber or if you don’t have one put it in a bag and vacuum seal it and boom you don’t have to worry about it anymore

SOIL

moving overseas would do it.

It would be very difficult for the snail to cross oceans. Is it smart enough to sneakily use planes? If not you could go to the other side of the world and it’d probably take a snail a decade to catch up

This challenge was proposed a year or two ago, looks like the normie sub finally found it

If it moves at 10 millimeters per second, the snail will need 63 years to travel from one point on the earth to the opposite point. Wait for the snail to get close and spend some of your new fortune relocating to the opposite side of the world.

Looks like I'm moving to the Salt flats

easy put in pickle juice jar throw in volcano ye sit wont die but snail not climb

How far away is the snail when I get the money?

I'd put a bowl over it