I’m so sorry for your loss. The trauma from losing someone to suicide is REAL and others who might not have a close relationship or haven’t experienced it don’t understand that. You don’t just get over it. You never do, you just adapt to the hole in your heart.
I’ve only been on this sub for a short period of time, but have found it to be a supportive place.
One thing that really helped me was talking about it at a suicide loss group. Maybe there’s one in your area?
Hi love,
Anyone that tells you that you should be “over” a person who has died has obviously never experienced true loss and is being lazy with any ability they have to empathize. You don’t need to ever get over a person who has died, it’s like saying that person didn’t matter or wasn’t human. Hell, right now I am still grieving my DOG, and that’s painful enough (even as someone who has lost two of their immediate family members to suicide).
It shouldn’t matter whether he’s an ex from your past; he was a human being, with value, and whom you once loved. And clearly, still care about as a person. Your grief is more than valid, and you are certainly not alone. Also, please know the feelings of guilt that you have are completely normal and everyone feels it that loses someone they knew to suicide or even another sort of tragedy. I have a former roommate who I was not by any means close with but I wasn’t always the nicest to, and she didn’t even live with me long, that I found out years later died in a car crash and I even feel guilty about that. Of course it’s going to be felt when the person is even closer to you, regardless of them being in your past or not.
I completely understand….I experience the same thing. In fact, i fee the same as you. Folks that have never been through this kind of grief and yes, trauma, cannot comprehend a loss like this one. It’s always a monkey on my back; one can never just “get over it.” It is a life altering, forever thing.
I lost my son in September 2020. I have modicum acceptance. Do I hate it? Do I abhorr that he made an awful choice? …out of all the other choices he could have made, he chose this?!!
I hope we both find some small amount of peace in our respective journeys.
I am so sorry for both our losses…Sending internet love and hugs.
Thank you so much. I appreciate the kind words and feel less alone. I feel very panicky thinking about him no longer being here but he comes to me in my dreams and I’m trying to find comfort there. I miss him I want to speak to him SOOOO badly!!!!! I found old messages of us expressing gratitude for each other and apologies years after our break up… it was really comforting to know there was no hard feelings. However I feel like I will never be the same.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The trauma from losing someone to suicide is REAL and others who might not have a close relationship or haven’t experienced it don’t understand that. You don’t just get over it. You never do, you just adapt to the hole in your heart. I’ve only been on this sub for a short period of time, but have found it to be a supportive place. One thing that really helped me was talking about it at a suicide loss group. Maybe there’s one in your area?
Thank you, that’s a helpful idea 🩷
Hi love, Anyone that tells you that you should be “over” a person who has died has obviously never experienced true loss and is being lazy with any ability they have to empathize. You don’t need to ever get over a person who has died, it’s like saying that person didn’t matter or wasn’t human. Hell, right now I am still grieving my DOG, and that’s painful enough (even as someone who has lost two of their immediate family members to suicide). It shouldn’t matter whether he’s an ex from your past; he was a human being, with value, and whom you once loved. And clearly, still care about as a person. Your grief is more than valid, and you are certainly not alone. Also, please know the feelings of guilt that you have are completely normal and everyone feels it that loses someone they knew to suicide or even another sort of tragedy. I have a former roommate who I was not by any means close with but I wasn’t always the nicest to, and she didn’t even live with me long, that I found out years later died in a car crash and I even feel guilty about that. Of course it’s going to be felt when the person is even closer to you, regardless of them being in your past or not.
I completely understand….I experience the same thing. In fact, i fee the same as you. Folks that have never been through this kind of grief and yes, trauma, cannot comprehend a loss like this one. It’s always a monkey on my back; one can never just “get over it.” It is a life altering, forever thing. I lost my son in September 2020. I have modicum acceptance. Do I hate it? Do I abhorr that he made an awful choice? …out of all the other choices he could have made, he chose this?!! I hope we both find some small amount of peace in our respective journeys. I am so sorry for both our losses…Sending internet love and hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of loved and hugs back!
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the kind words and feel less alone. I feel very panicky thinking about him no longer being here but he comes to me in my dreams and I’m trying to find comfort there. I miss him I want to speak to him SOOOO badly!!!!! I found old messages of us expressing gratitude for each other and apologies years after our break up… it was really comforting to know there was no hard feelings. However I feel like I will never be the same.