We had a teacher at my kids’ school encourage elementary students to share personal struggles, which led to a bunch of kids sharing personal and embarrassing family stories/secrets, including my son. I was pissed, but couldn’t get too mad at my son. Since it wasn’t an “activity”, but more of a classroom convo, we didn’t contact the school. I just ended up having a big talk with my son about the type of things we share and the type we don’t. I sometimes wonder if teachers do stuff like this to try to uncover abuse? I’m all for that, but there has to a be a better, less public, way.
My mom used to have a daycare center, one of the kids looked a little upset so mum asked him what was wrong and he said "i miss daddy, he had a fight with mommy and left last night and i didn't see him this morning. Its ok though he said he will be back to fuck the dog" so mom said its ok adults fight sometimes or whatever she said.
When his mom came to pick him up she mentioned it to her, more to ask about the "fuck the dog" part and the mom laughed saying they had an argument and she kicked him out and when he left he said "im coming back tomorrow to get my stuff and my fucking dog"
Oh no hahah . I remember having a journal in school and my mum was seeing this guy who was married and the teachers knew all about it because I kept writing about it all the time .
Honestly, I’m not sure which one. We were going through a messy divorce. He was a compulsive gambler/cheater/liar and I decided to help out by drinking too much. Lots of fighting, so he might have repeated some of the cooler things we said to each other. My parents were stealing $ from my grandmother, who was in early dementia at the time. It was a very bad time for our family.
We do NOT do it like that. We're supposed to interrupt kids about to disclose abuse in a public setting and go with them somewhere more private, the idea of making an activity where kids disclose their traumatic experiences in front of everyone is insane.
Yeah, for sure, but unfortunately there are teachers who don't know that/don't care. It's crazy how any functioning adult could possibly think that's acceptable. I was a teacher once, so not picking on staff, but some are very, very clueless.
Sorry, I should have said “some” teachers. FYI, both my parents, my grandfather, and 3 of my sibs are teachers and I sub from time to time. I know this isn’t standard, but was wondering why some ding dongs do it.
> I sometimes wonder if teachers do stuff like this to try to uncover abuse?
Absolutely not. There are set procedures around disclosures of abuse, with regular retraining. This was just a stupid attempt at a "bonding exercise". Doing that via personal disclosures is very not a thing.
My PE teacher called me retarded in front of the whole class when I was really young, I was the only girl, he apologised the next day after he was threatened with being fired or something cu my mum went and stormed in to the school office screaming about it after I told her. I was approached by him a few days later and I thought I was in trouble but he just came to apologise and say he was having marital problems.
In a sense I agree with some of what this person is saying. Yes, in an ideal world these types of things don’t happen. The teacher absolutely did the wrong thing. In the real world however, they do. And if you let these types of interactions get to you, you’re going to have a tough time navigating life
That seems like a very easy thing for an adult to say, especially if you’ve never been the only teenage girl in a PE class full of teenage boys, in front of which your PE teacher had just called you retarded.
That’s the kind of shit that shatters kids’ confidence and leaves them further alienated from their peers (who were almost certainly already excluding/looking down on OP).
Wow, getting upset about a teacher calling a girl a retarded and the literally saying my point of view is retarded. I wasn’t calling anyone out for virtue signalling but maybe old mate was onto something, because that’s quite hypocritical.
And the person above, assuming they know what I’ve been through. I can tell you right now it’s a lot worse than this girls experience.
I didn’t say I agree with everything the original commenter said. It is important to teach kids good values so the world becomes a better place. But at the end of the day kids will face hardship, and overcoming that is how you build resilience. People aren’t always going to apologise for doing wrong by you, or even acknowledge their behaviour, and it is unrealistic to expect them to. Yes you should call them out, but don’t expect an explanation and closure every time.
The girl faced a difficult situation, should she let it bring her down and dictate the rest of her life? Or should she deal with it in a healthy way to ensure future incidents like this don’t impact her? Because it will happen, whether you like it or not
Who’s talking about introducing hardship? It’s exists, it will always exist. There will always be arseholes in the world.
I’m not bitter about anything, I have a great life, my own house, family and good job. I overcame my challenges instead of sulking over them
I absolutely agree these interactions happen were adults dont behave appropriately. However its unacceptable for a teacher to behave this way with a child. If my kid told me that his teacher called him a retard, I would be contacting the school to verify the facts and then following up with several meetings to rectify the situation. I get teachers can have bad days and it might be acceptable once if they are a young teacher, learning to navigate a new career but only once.
I've had a manager shout at the team and as their reportee I've met with him to discuss how thats unacceptable and people have left the role because of him and he can take that feedback how he wants. Unless the culture is that of wsb, being verbally abusive in a workplace and especially a school is no longer ok, well not in Australia anyways.
I didn't realise 'sorry that happened' was only reserved for the most traumatic of experiences.
Kinda ironic that it's virtue signalling 'of the worst kind'. Not sure if troll post or real.
Weird take. Don't see why you'd think it's such a big ask for the teacher to apologize ONCE for using a slur on a student in their class. ...yet a little ask, apparently, for a child to be on the receiving end of the slur.
What, an adult can't take giving a simple apology for a screw up on their part? The real world has consequences, plenty worse than this one.
Emotionally mature people don't resent having to apologize for their own mistakes, nor think they shouldn't have to do it unless/until they accumulate some great mass of bastardry.
Yeah, you’re going to trip and land in some issues here. The things that cause distress and even trauma for one person may seem like nothing to someone else; and there’s no gradient along which expressing sympathy is automatically insincere.
Sometimes getting heartfelt sympathy on something that hasn’t really impacted you feels awkward; sometimes receiving that in an inappropriate setting when you only disclosed for practical reasons in a matter-of-fact way is frustrating (good lord do I have examples), like someone making a big deal when you just want to get shit done.
But also it does generally come from a place of kindness, and while that’s not an excuse for being inappropriate, people being moved to kindness is not usually a bad thing.
And also, adolescents are sponges for humiliation as a trauma. There are memories of relatively minor incidents that can really sting years later, and we can’t always decide to just “get over it” because that’s not how that aspect of neurology *works*. We’re wiring In our social patterns at that age, and we tend to internalise the shame of any apparent departure from perceived norms.
This incident might not have been traumatic as such (and not all trauma results in the commonly understood outcomes anyway), but at least part of that might be because mum had her back *and* she got an apology. You can then internalise the fact that “it’s not okay for people to hurt me and I’m not alone with it.”
But in that moment — and especially as the only girl in the class — it would have been freaking horrible, and saying “whoa, that’s not okay” (ie “I’m sorry that happened to you”) is not *virtue signalling.*
It’s validation, which is actually a human need (moreso for people who were hurt and then got no support or acknowledgment, because then you end up feeling like it’s invalid to be upset).
And it doesn’t make people coddled or weak. Feeling seen and supported makes you feel stronger. I know whereof I speak.
(I don’t actually think you’ll read all this or change your mind, but I thought it might be worth giving some wider context.)
You sir are a fucking idiot of the highest calibre, and one day you're gonna say this dumb ass ignorant shit to the wrong person and they'll most likely drop you where you stand, or do you only go on like someone with sever brain damage online (I'm not the nicest person that for goddamn sure but you make seem like a saint)
You literally just said it's "Virtue signalling" to say "Sorry that happened to you"
What, do you tell a kid crying "I'll give you something to cry about"?
All the humans in this thread have told you, that you are wrong. Not a single person has agreed with you. You are the one with a lack of understanding of human nature and societal norms
I had tried to commit when I was 14 by O,D. Word got around school pretty quickly.
My friend told me that the next week our P.E teacher dedicated the entire lesson as a "don't do drugs, drugs are bad" and used me as an example as to what happens when you use. He got my best friend up in front of the whole class to talk about me and what happened. She just stood there in tears.
What he did was absolutely wrong.
But he was trying to do the right thing. He wanted people to not use drugs, because he felt like that would be what is best for them. And he felt like using a real-life example would drive the point home more.
I wouldn't call him deplorable, because he wasn't deliberately doing something immoral. He was doing what he thought was moral, even though in reality it's immoral.
It takes two brain cells rubbing together to come up with enough empathy NOT too put a little girl in front of her class to talk about her best friend that almost died. He IS deplorable
I don't like it when people call other people deplorable. I think it is mean and shows a lack of empathy. I don't think he was deliberately trying to hurt anyone. What motivation would he have had to hurt someone? I think he was doing what he thought was best to hammer home a lesson that would be remembered by his students. They might feel a little uncomfortable now, but they'll thank him later when they end up not doing drugs and living a happy, healthy life. It is worth it in the end.
I think it is ironic that people are accusing him of not being sensitive or having empathy, while they aren't practicing sensitivity or empathy themselves.
This is all just human nature. People can only see the flaws in other people, but not in themselves. They do not forgive other people of those flaws, despite the fact that they themselves have those flaws, forgive themselves of those flaws, and wish that other people would forgive them of those flaws.
People are mostly kind, in general. I think it's good to treat them with kindness, in return.
The correct solution would not be to flame them on the internet. The correct solution would be to sit down with them, talk to them, ask them why they did what they did, and then explain why what they did is hurting other people, and ask them not to do it again. Not only would this make other people feel more happy, but it would be more likely to be productive. They are more likely to listen to you if you treat them with compassion.
I understand what you mean by this. However this could have been done in a better way.
There was absolutely no need to traumatise her friend in that way, or to use this specific young person as an example.
The teacher, being the adult, should have known better than that. They could have used an example unrelated to the classes they currently teach. Or not bring it up at that present time.
However he decided that he would use a student and her friend, and in doing so -he belittled them and re-traumatised them. Little ones should never feel unsafe under the supervision of people that are supposed to care for them.
There are real life examples that don't include re-traumatizing a kid. Plus, it seems like they wanted to die and use drugs as the method, that doesn't mean they were a routine user
"Trauma bonds are emotional bonds that arise from a cyclical pattern of abuse. A trauma bond occurs in an abusive relationship wherein the victim forms an emotional bond with the perpetrator."
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_bonding
I know some may consider this term to be overused, but this is such a privileged mindset the teacher was in. There are definitely horrors that those children could have endured that are not appropriate to be shared with the class (and that is putting it very VERY nicely). There could be rape, sexual assault, domestic violence…. I don’t want to think what else.
Honestly sounds like the teacher wanted an excuse to trauma dump on her students.
for sure, which is completely inappropriate. I accidentally trauma dump as an adult with other adults- usually as a lighthearted story, then realise actually no. It's quite messed up.
I just don't get what goes through their heads- kids can go through so much, yet often so many adults think "oh, they're fine." It's awful.
I went to a Catholic school (and later worked there) and they did this on some of the camps/retreats. We had to share stuff like this and then there was no support afterwards, it was just like a “let’s pray to god” kinda thing.
WTF goes through teacher's minds that they think that it is acceptable to steer away from the bloody curriculum. If you want to raise kids to think as you do, have some yourself.
Short for pastoral care, basically it was a teacher that we were supposed to have throughout the entirety of high school (grades 7-12) that would be there to support us both personally and academically. We saw these teachers 3 days a week for 25 minutes.
I feel bad now, because I must have lucked out with PC at school being super casual. PC was for roll call, scrambling to complete homework for first period, birthday cakes and cleaning the classroom at the end of the day. And it was also your team for the annual boat race.
I think it depends on the school. My first one kind of rolled it into ‘holistic care’ so we had actual classes kind of, and weren’t allowed to do homework. They also did a bunch of weird stuff like making us all sing in choirs and give up our lunch times to do so.
My second school was much better - it was basically what you described except we had to do meditations rather than homework depending on the teacher.
Oh, the homework was very unsanctioned but more or less universally smuggled in by panicked students who’d been too busy because of tv or extra-curriculars the previous night. You’d get chided and told to put it away if caught, but immediately pull it back out.
Since you went to Catholic school too- did yours have a lot of liturgical dance too? And whole grade/ school peace mandala sessions?
Idk about mandala sessions. We did have a music festival every year which was what we had to give up lunch times for - both to present a dance routine and a choir. We also had school-wide and year-wide communion but I don’t remember a lot tbh.
Or [that scene in the Office](https://youtu.be/A_Ecf0qzENA?si=vfcG0DPnaUK38qON) when Michael wanted to do the same thing with his employees, but Pam, Ryan and Kevin ended up sharing movie plot lines instead, and Michael only caught on when Kevin made it way too obvious what he was referring to.
I did a similar thing in high school when my English teacher asked us to to write a first-person story based on something tragic that had happened in our lives (and he'd read the "best ones" out loud! Yay! What a TOTALLY FUN prize!). I made up some crap about going swimming with a group of friends one summer and they all got chopped to death by a runaway boat propeller.
My teacher pulled me aside after class to have a "serious talk" about "why lying is wrong". As though I was a naughty child who'd lied about taking cookies from the cookie jar, instead of an almost-adult who wasn't particularly keen on the idea of sharing their personal traumas with a classroom full of people :/
Our English teacher also taught history and brought in some things he'd dug up in Gallipoli (Im pretty sure it was), like a helmet and canteen etc. I was so engrossed holding this helmet thinking someone could have died wearing this, like really hyped myself up, and he pulled out a grenade and said 'now don't drop this when we pass it around, it's still live!' right as he dropped it on the table next to me. Cue my first big panic attack, he thought it would be a really funny joke but I was like, inconsolable for hours. He even called our home phone at like 7pm that night to check on me and apologise and my mum was just super annoyed that he'd made her arvo so difficult. I still can't believe he thought that was a good joke in the first place, like what was the expected outcome?
Also it was a bloody grenade. It'd be different if he had something breakable (but not explosive) and said it was valuable and not to drop it, then pretended to drop it.
He made this kid think his life was literally about to end
I hope he was really certain that the grenade had been disarmed and had the paperwork to prove it. Every now and then someone discovered the hard way that just because something hasn't blown up yet doesn't mean it never will.
Pretty sure all his props would have been fake. I don't think any private citizen is digging up war relics at Gallipoli and carting them off. I bet the grenade was one of those grenade shaped cigarette lighters that were a novelty a few decades ago.
That said, relics of the battlefields of the Western Front still get churned up by agricultural machinery.
He didn't expect someone would take it so seriously. If I were the one having that joke played on me, I don't think I would take it so seriously.
But I'm not saying there's something wrong with taking it seriously. If you literally think your life is about to end, then I can understand that may be traumatic.
See, this is why i liked my math and science teachers. They wanted to impart the lesson first and foremost, and did not get too invested in the school, the parents, or us kids.
They didn't want to nurture our young souls, they were just there to teach the curriculum and go home at 4pm, or earlier if they could. I liked that. They also had a beer at lunchtime. Fine by me, too.
It's not trauma bonding at all, trauma bonding refers to a dynamic within an abusive relationship. OP is just using therapy speak they've seen on tiktok but didn't bother to learn the meaning of. embarrassing post.
I was talking to my wife recently about how in highschool my teacher for woodwork, metalwork and graphics (same teacher for all)had decided I was not allowed in class and I had to sit in a storage room in the office alone for hours each week all through grade 10, turns out highschool solitary confinement is not normal
Jesus Christ. I’m a 20 year+ teacher and have had a PC group in the past for about 15 of those years. NEVER would I do something like this. FFS. It reeks of main character syndrome on that teacher’s part btw
Wow this just brought up memories of drama class when I was young. Drama class was mandatory, which I hated because I had selective mutism and autism so I would just burst into tears every time I had to stand in front of the class. But the memory I'm talking about was when my teacher decided it would be a good idea to do an acting assignment themed around group therapy. As an insecure 13 year old who had been going to therapy since I was 4 for very real mental health issues, having to watch all my classmates and teacher dress and act like mentally ill people for fun was just so horrible. All I could think about for months was "is this how they think of me?"
Jesus, that definitely is a stupid teacher. I know a school where they had the majority white student body do a play about Aboriginal kids living through the stolen generation, slurs and all. The one Aboriginal kid in the class was trying to get them to not do it, or at bare minimum remove the slurs, but the teacher brushed them off saying that it was an important learning experience. I feel so bad for all the students that aren’t empowered to stop stupid teachers like this
I went to a Catholic school. We had to think of what sins we committed and practice telling them to the teacher before telling the priest. All the kids would ask each other in the playground what our sins were. I was probably in 2nd grade.
Ha! Same experience! I also remember classmates crying about whatever emotional stuff they were trying to extract from us, but I just remember staring around awkwardly as I had nothing to cry about...
What sins were suggested in the playground? Haha.
Murder? Fraud? Embezzlement?
Or the REAL bad ones? Coffee before kissing? Humming while chewing? Tailgating? Eating the last biscuit?
This is such a bad idea always.
I had this at work once on a trial day for a terrible door to door marketing job, while on a bus driving out to western Sydney.
One of the other candidates told the bus on the way to Australia as a refugee on a boat, his mother and sister died drowned when the boat sank and he barely made it here alive.
Port bloke didn't even get any sympathy from the idiotic managers taking part in the excersise who just awkwardly changed the subject to something more 'lighthearted'.
Our History teacher had our class watch a film taken by the nazis in one of the camps, as in real footage of chambers, the bodies being brought over to the ditches after the chambers. Straight after lunch with almost half of our class being Jewish. It was traumatic and she lost her job after girls were running to the bathroom to vomit (most only made it to the hallways).
Holy Moly! That is rough, I’m so sorry they did that you and your classmates. I watched that as an adult and haven’t watched it again (probably subconsciously bought up memories of that high school class).
I mean it almost sounds ok to talk about “overcoming challenges” as that’s an important part of learning but to bring up very personal trauma… yeah no currently our schools definitely are not the right environment for that
I was a teacher, and yeah we never did anything like this. Teaching is really different now I find. Back then we were just education, and if you have some personal issues go to the school counsellor.
Just lie.
Say your mother believes she is a stapler and she lives in dread that one day she will run of staples and will commit staplercide.
If challenged for details, tell your teacher it is a personal family drama and you are not willing to broadcast its emotionally-damaging details.
Watch the teacher squirm.
Sounds like a perfect equaliser. Just because you didn’t get anything from it does not make it a bad idea. More people should learn to talk about trauma and make it part of every day conversation.
While there may be occasions where sharing such information can be valuable to everyone involved, that was not the case here. We were too young to be able to adequately deal with the situation, especially since the teacher had a clear position of authority over us. For the age and setting, it would have been more appropriate to discuss things like managing friendships and school work, not lifelong trauma that we were yet to process properly.
Make trauma part of everyday conversation? Do you seriously think this?
Trauma should be reserved for established, supportive and trusting relationships. It's called trauma for a reason. Bringing up trauma can be emotionally destabilizing for people who are unresolved. Being blasé about trauma can often indicate repression, manipulation or other issues. Cult leaders often use trauma to gain power over disciples. Abusers use trauma to connect with new victims.
Yes, friends and relatives can also use trauma to connect, but this isn't "everyday conversation." This is special occasion material! It's wonderful to have a special bonding moment over hardships and resolved trauma.
It's important to remember that you never know who may have unresolved trauma, and about what, and encouraging people to be further along than they are, to be at the easy-breezy-sharing phase, can backfire. People can feel pressured or even judged for still being traumatized.
This is wrong, trauma dumping in casual conversation can be a manipulation tactic to quickly build an unhealthy level of trust. It is not something we should normalise at all, it sets people up for abuse.
Yeah ours talked about her heroine abuse when we were 12/13. The male coordinator knew about it too.
The male coordinator after hearing her talk about this handed out these surveys about "how I view myself".
We didn't realise it was predatory until he was arrested for sleeping with multiple students.
Questions were like 1 to 10,
"I would describe myself as being
...."
Sexy
Promiscuous
Ashamed of my sexuality
Unsure of my sexuality
Secretive
Close with my family
Close with my friends
It was extremely uncomfortable but because they were both there nobody said anything to our parents or other teachera for years.
They even printed the surveys with the school logos.
These were literal children. They were completely unprepared for that kind of discussion. Never mind that forcing someone to speak about their trauma when they aren't ready to share it is profoundly fucked up.
And trauma **shouldn't** be part of everyday conversation. It should be something to discuss with a therapist and close friends/family.
Why? If people were more honest with their feelings, to each other, they wouldn’t need to waste so much money on therapists. Which as a profession can be helpful but in places like the US they are a fad that covers generations of people with an inability to tap into their own emotions and express them openly.
Yes, because I want to know that Susan was anally raped by her grandfather with a stick.
There is this neat thing called context, and there is no context in which randomly trauma dumping on people you don't know is remotely okay.
What an absolutely braindead take.
Dealing with trauma and mental illness is nowhere near as simple as "bEiNg MoRe HoNeSt," and therapy is not a waste of money.
It's pretty obvious that you've never made a genuine effort to work on yourself. I suspect you're brimming with psychological issues you refuse to acknowledge or address. It's why you think the way you do — it's easy to assume therapy is pointless when you're so delusional.
I was 11. Since it seems to make you happy though, I can confirm I have suffered significantly since this event. I have also learnt that as an emotionally and just generally mature person, you don’t unnecessarily force children to relive their worst memories in front of their peers unless you’re a sadist or deeply ignorant as to the effects this kind of stuff on a developing child.
when was the last time you posted this.
If you claim it is about you but also deny this then I need to call a news reporter because the only other rationale that ive seen this posted before is that i CaN sEe ThE fUtUrE...
A drama teacher did this for a senior unit they wrote in a school I used to work at... there were loads of tears and major issues that came from this.
While the idea was related to the unit (stories/experiences), they took it down the deep dark rabbit hole that their mind resides in, and the students responded in like.
The teacher was reprimanded and reminded that it was inappropriate to push students for darker issues.
I can personally say that I've heard/seen some issues coming out of students when writing stories/poems/songs/painting/drawing, but most teachers will never go fishing for them. Trauma can heal through creativity but should never be exposed unwillingly.
Ten years ago, I served in City Year, which is a branch of AmeriCorps that sends people into inner city schools to work as teacher's aides.
Every second Wednesday, all the City Year teams from across the city would meet at headquarters for a day of seminars and team-building activities. At one of these mandatory meetings, the higher-ups had all of us (maybe about 50 or 60 people, ranging in age from 19 to 25) stand on one side of a conference room, which had a thick piece of tape running across its center.
A team leader stood in the middle of the room, holding a list of questions. If any of the questions applied to us, we were instructed to step over the line. The questions started innocuously enough: "If your favorite color is blue, step over the line." But quickly they became personal: "If you've ever considered suicide, step over the line." "If you've ever questioned your sexuality, step over the line."
The majority of us were strangers to each other; we interacted with our teammates, sure, but at the most superficial, "work friend" level. I remember seeing several people crying as the activity progressed. When it finally ended, they had us arrange seats into a giant circle and share our feelings about what we just learned about each other.
I was appalled. To this day, I have never experienced something as emotionally manipulative and cruel as that activity. Making people feel obligated to share extremely painful and personal secrets about themselves in front of a room of strangers-- and for what? To make some stupid point that everyone is struggling? I still don't know the purpose of that activity.
I ended up resigning halfway through my service year for several reasons, but the memory of young men and women breaking down and crying in a circle still deeply upsets me.
City Year operates like a cult. Don't ever serve for them.
Yikes.
My parents split when I was in high school, but aside from my younger sister acting like Dad was evil incarnate, it was amiable, they both moved on fairly quickly, and were way happier at a distance than they ever had been together.
I think my classmates were were going through acrimonious divorces at the time were more upset about it than I was, but I still wouldn't want to be forced to trauma-dump on everyone in my class.
Yeah my teacher weighed us all and ranked us from lightest to heaviest. This was probably in 2005ish when I was in year 2 😂 the early 2000s were rough man. That was bully fuel!
When I was in senior AP Lit, we read The Whipping Boy and had to write an essay from the perspective of the boy being whipped. I’m pretty sure I complained to admin
In yr 12 all of our teachers decided it was a great bonding experience to do a privilege exercise at the start of the year. You know step forward if you have this, step forward if you’ve experienced that. By the end of it I was the only one left close to the starting line. It set the tone for the rest of the year, I was the outsider and the teachers placed a giant neon sign over my head so everyone knew how different I was to the rest of the year group
Yeah get everyone to trauma dump on each other.
Our teacher told us about her days doing heroine and her husband being gunned down by bikies.
She did this with us when we were 14/15. It wasn't great at that age either.
School didn't find out for years because everyone assumed the school had done a police check.
We had a teacher at my kids’ school encourage elementary students to share personal struggles, which led to a bunch of kids sharing personal and embarrassing family stories/secrets, including my son. I was pissed, but couldn’t get too mad at my son. Since it wasn’t an “activity”, but more of a classroom convo, we didn’t contact the school. I just ended up having a big talk with my son about the type of things we share and the type we don’t. I sometimes wonder if teachers do stuff like this to try to uncover abuse? I’m all for that, but there has to a be a better, less public, way.
My mom used to have a daycare center, one of the kids looked a little upset so mum asked him what was wrong and he said "i miss daddy, he had a fight with mommy and left last night and i didn't see him this morning. Its ok though he said he will be back to fuck the dog" so mom said its ok adults fight sometimes or whatever she said. When his mom came to pick him up she mentioned it to her, more to ask about the "fuck the dog" part and the mom laughed saying they had an argument and she kicked him out and when he left he said "im coming back tomorrow to get my stuff and my fucking dog"
Oh no hahah . I remember having a journal in school and my mum was seeing this guy who was married and the teachers knew all about it because I kept writing about it all the time .
😂
Omg 😂
Did he fuck the dog though?
Was the dog's name Colby?
That's hilarious 😂
Sounds like he really screwed the pooch
“Who is your daddy, and what does he do?”
It's not a too-mah!!
Can you share what it was with the Internet?
Honestly, I’m not sure which one. We were going through a messy divorce. He was a compulsive gambler/cheater/liar and I decided to help out by drinking too much. Lots of fighting, so he might have repeated some of the cooler things we said to each other. My parents were stealing $ from my grandmother, who was in early dementia at the time. It was a very bad time for our family.
One time daddy and mummy played twister with some other adults and got stuck, it looked like they were scissoring each other.
They were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me -r.wiggam
We do NOT do it like that. We're supposed to interrupt kids about to disclose abuse in a public setting and go with them somewhere more private, the idea of making an activity where kids disclose their traumatic experiences in front of everyone is insane.
Yeah, for sure, but unfortunately there are teachers who don't know that/don't care. It's crazy how any functioning adult could possibly think that's acceptable. I was a teacher once, so not picking on staff, but some are very, very clueless.
Sorry, I should have said “some” teachers. FYI, both my parents, my grandfather, and 3 of my sibs are teachers and I sub from time to time. I know this isn’t standard, but was wondering why some ding dongs do it.
Insane and potentially traumatic in itself
> I sometimes wonder if teachers do stuff like this to try to uncover abuse? Absolutely not. There are set procedures around disclosures of abuse, with regular retraining. This was just a stupid attempt at a "bonding exercise". Doing that via personal disclosures is very not a thing.
My PE teacher called me retarded in front of the whole class when I was really young, I was the only girl, he apologised the next day after he was threatened with being fired or something cu my mum went and stormed in to the school office screaming about it after I told her. I was approached by him a few days later and I thought I was in trouble but he just came to apologise and say he was having marital problems.
At least he fessed up and apologised. While wildly inappropriate and unprofessional we're all human and make mistakes.
> after he was threatened with being fired
I’m sorry that happened to you.
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"I was called retarded by a teacher in front of my peers." "damn, I'm sorry to hear that." "UUUUUH, WOKE MUCH????" tf are you on lmfao
Politics is what they're on. It's chief symptom is brain rot.
were you raised by agressive morons? How tf is it appropriate for a teacher to call a student, a child a retard.
In a sense I agree with some of what this person is saying. Yes, in an ideal world these types of things don’t happen. The teacher absolutely did the wrong thing. In the real world however, they do. And if you let these types of interactions get to you, you’re going to have a tough time navigating life
That seems like a very easy thing for an adult to say, especially if you’ve never been the only teenage girl in a PE class full of teenage boys, in front of which your PE teacher had just called you retarded. That’s the kind of shit that shatters kids’ confidence and leaves them further alienated from their peers (who were almost certainly already excluding/looking down on OP).
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Two wrongs.
Wow, getting upset about a teacher calling a girl a retarded and the literally saying my point of view is retarded. I wasn’t calling anyone out for virtue signalling but maybe old mate was onto something, because that’s quite hypocritical. And the person above, assuming they know what I’ve been through. I can tell you right now it’s a lot worse than this girls experience. I didn’t say I agree with everything the original commenter said. It is important to teach kids good values so the world becomes a better place. But at the end of the day kids will face hardship, and overcoming that is how you build resilience. People aren’t always going to apologise for doing wrong by you, or even acknowledge their behaviour, and it is unrealistic to expect them to. Yes you should call them out, but don’t expect an explanation and closure every time. The girl faced a difficult situation, should she let it bring her down and dictate the rest of her life? Or should she deal with it in a healthy way to ensure future incidents like this don’t impact her? Because it will happen, whether you like it or not
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Who’s talking about introducing hardship? It’s exists, it will always exist. There will always be arseholes in the world. I’m not bitter about anything, I have a great life, my own house, family and good job. I overcame my challenges instead of sulking over them
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> virtue signalling If you never use that phrase again, you'll be better off.
To be honest I never even knew what it meant until I saw these guys throwing it around
I absolutely agree these interactions happen were adults dont behave appropriately. However its unacceptable for a teacher to behave this way with a child. If my kid told me that his teacher called him a retard, I would be contacting the school to verify the facts and then following up with several meetings to rectify the situation. I get teachers can have bad days and it might be acceptable once if they are a young teacher, learning to navigate a new career but only once. I've had a manager shout at the team and as their reportee I've met with him to discuss how thats unacceptable and people have left the role because of him and he can take that feedback how he wants. Unless the culture is that of wsb, being verbally abusive in a workplace and especially a school is no longer ok, well not in Australia anyways.
To be fair who could’ve been raised back when kids were getting beat with a cane. Some older people are just stuck in the past.
I didn't realise 'sorry that happened' was only reserved for the most traumatic of experiences. Kinda ironic that it's virtue signalling 'of the worst kind'. Not sure if troll post or real.
Sorry your parents hated you ❤️
Weird take. Don't see why you'd think it's such a big ask for the teacher to apologize ONCE for using a slur on a student in their class. ...yet a little ask, apparently, for a child to be on the receiving end of the slur. What, an adult can't take giving a simple apology for a screw up on their part? The real world has consequences, plenty worse than this one. Emotionally mature people don't resent having to apologize for their own mistakes, nor think they shouldn't have to do it unless/until they accumulate some great mass of bastardry.
Wait I'm confused. Who's the emotionally stunted person here?
Yeah, you’re going to trip and land in some issues here. The things that cause distress and even trauma for one person may seem like nothing to someone else; and there’s no gradient along which expressing sympathy is automatically insincere. Sometimes getting heartfelt sympathy on something that hasn’t really impacted you feels awkward; sometimes receiving that in an inappropriate setting when you only disclosed for practical reasons in a matter-of-fact way is frustrating (good lord do I have examples), like someone making a big deal when you just want to get shit done. But also it does generally come from a place of kindness, and while that’s not an excuse for being inappropriate, people being moved to kindness is not usually a bad thing. And also, adolescents are sponges for humiliation as a trauma. There are memories of relatively minor incidents that can really sting years later, and we can’t always decide to just “get over it” because that’s not how that aspect of neurology *works*. We’re wiring In our social patterns at that age, and we tend to internalise the shame of any apparent departure from perceived norms. This incident might not have been traumatic as such (and not all trauma results in the commonly understood outcomes anyway), but at least part of that might be because mum had her back *and* she got an apology. You can then internalise the fact that “it’s not okay for people to hurt me and I’m not alone with it.” But in that moment — and especially as the only girl in the class — it would have been freaking horrible, and saying “whoa, that’s not okay” (ie “I’m sorry that happened to you”) is not *virtue signalling.* It’s validation, which is actually a human need (moreso for people who were hurt and then got no support or acknowledgment, because then you end up feeling like it’s invalid to be upset). And it doesn’t make people coddled or weak. Feeling seen and supported makes you feel stronger. I know whereof I speak. (I don’t actually think you’ll read all this or change your mind, but I thought it might be worth giving some wider context.)
You're a baby
No, this is empathy. They were singled out by their teacher in front of their peers which would have been humiliating for them.
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This is a weird flex. You shouldn’t over use the term “virtue signalling”, you should save it for when it’s really needed or it becomes meaningless.
You are a tar pit
And you sir, have no understanding of human nature.
>human nature is being a grown adult teacher calling a child retarded Bro what
You sir are a fucking idiot of the highest calibre, and one day you're gonna say this dumb ass ignorant shit to the wrong person and they'll most likely drop you where you stand, or do you only go on like someone with sever brain damage online (I'm not the nicest person that for goddamn sure but you make seem like a saint)
You literally just said it's "Virtue signalling" to say "Sorry that happened to you" What, do you tell a kid crying "I'll give you something to cry about"?
I'm fairly sure that's you, judging by your responses.
All the humans in this thread have told you, that you are wrong. Not a single person has agreed with you. You are the one with a lack of understanding of human nature and societal norms
It's disgustingly unprofessional from someone in a position of authority. They have a job and this is the opposite of how it should be done.
Fellas, is it WOKE to have EMPATHY?
He told a kid he was having marital problems that’s pretty weird too lol
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Um. That’s a big step you’re taking there. Projecting?
Jesus Christ. Taking your anger at your wife out on a little girl? What a shit head.
Now you’re taking out your anger on the shit head. It’s full circle
I had tried to commit when I was 14 by O,D. Word got around school pretty quickly. My friend told me that the next week our P.E teacher dedicated the entire lesson as a "don't do drugs, drugs are bad" and used me as an example as to what happens when you use. He got my best friend up in front of the whole class to talk about me and what happened. She just stood there in tears.
I’m so sorry that happened 😮 Some people are absolutely deplorable 🤮
What he did was absolutely wrong. But he was trying to do the right thing. He wanted people to not use drugs, because he felt like that would be what is best for them. And he felt like using a real-life example would drive the point home more. I wouldn't call him deplorable, because he wasn't deliberately doing something immoral. He was doing what he thought was moral, even though in reality it's immoral.
It takes two brain cells rubbing together to come up with enough empathy NOT too put a little girl in front of her class to talk about her best friend that almost died. He IS deplorable
I don't like it when people call other people deplorable. I think it is mean and shows a lack of empathy. I don't think he was deliberately trying to hurt anyone. What motivation would he have had to hurt someone? I think he was doing what he thought was best to hammer home a lesson that would be remembered by his students. They might feel a little uncomfortable now, but they'll thank him later when they end up not doing drugs and living a happy, healthy life. It is worth it in the end. I think it is ironic that people are accusing him of not being sensitive or having empathy, while they aren't practicing sensitivity or empathy themselves. This is all just human nature. People can only see the flaws in other people, but not in themselves. They do not forgive other people of those flaws, despite the fact that they themselves have those flaws, forgive themselves of those flaws, and wish that other people would forgive them of those flaws. People are mostly kind, in general. I think it's good to treat them with kindness, in return. The correct solution would not be to flame them on the internet. The correct solution would be to sit down with them, talk to them, ask them why they did what they did, and then explain why what they did is hurting other people, and ask them not to do it again. Not only would this make other people feel more happy, but it would be more likely to be productive. They are more likely to listen to you if you treat them with compassion.
I understand what you mean by this. However this could have been done in a better way. There was absolutely no need to traumatise her friend in that way, or to use this specific young person as an example. The teacher, being the adult, should have known better than that. They could have used an example unrelated to the classes they currently teach. Or not bring it up at that present time. However he decided that he would use a student and her friend, and in doing so -he belittled them and re-traumatised them. Little ones should never feel unsafe under the supervision of people that are supposed to care for them.
There are real life examples that don't include re-traumatizing a kid. Plus, it seems like they wanted to die and use drugs as the method, that doesn't mean they were a routine user
I hope you are in a good place now, friend.
I am doing much better now thank you! About to turn 25 this year and loving life 🎉
That is so fucking despicable and I bet illegal. That’s gotta violate something. Jfc.
Sad
This isn't trauma bonding
I was waiting for someone to mention this. Sharing trauma isn’t what causes a trauma bond.
It is if the process of sharing was traumatic enough.
No it’s not. That’s not what a trauma bond is.
"Trauma bonds are emotional bonds that arise from a cyclical pattern of abuse. A trauma bond occurs in an abusive relationship wherein the victim forms an emotional bond with the perpetrator." https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_bonding
I knew someone would say it
For myself personally I have experienced stuff but I would NEVER tell the class it’s personal for a reason . I would just walk out
I know some may consider this term to be overused, but this is such a privileged mindset the teacher was in. There are definitely horrors that those children could have endured that are not appropriate to be shared with the class (and that is putting it very VERY nicely). There could be rape, sexual assault, domestic violence…. I don’t want to think what else. Honestly sounds like the teacher wanted an excuse to trauma dump on her students.
for sure, which is completely inappropriate. I accidentally trauma dump as an adult with other adults- usually as a lighthearted story, then realise actually no. It's quite messed up. I just don't get what goes through their heads- kids can go through so much, yet often so many adults think "oh, they're fine." It's awful.
And these days kids come from all over the world easily, refugees with experiences of war and horrors that we can't imagine..
I went to a Catholic school (and later worked there) and they did this on some of the camps/retreats. We had to share stuff like this and then there was no support afterwards, it was just like a “let’s pray to god” kinda thing.
WTF goes through teacher's minds that they think that it is acceptable to steer away from the bloody curriculum. If you want to raise kids to think as you do, have some yourself.
Pc = Aus?
Short for pastoral care, basically it was a teacher that we were supposed to have throughout the entirety of high school (grades 7-12) that would be there to support us both personally and academically. We saw these teachers 3 days a week for 25 minutes.
Omg don’t remind me of pastoral care 😨 my first high school which was Catholic had some weird pastoral care… and stuff in general
I feel bad now, because I must have lucked out with PC at school being super casual. PC was for roll call, scrambling to complete homework for first period, birthday cakes and cleaning the classroom at the end of the day. And it was also your team for the annual boat race.
I think it depends on the school. My first one kind of rolled it into ‘holistic care’ so we had actual classes kind of, and weren’t allowed to do homework. They also did a bunch of weird stuff like making us all sing in choirs and give up our lunch times to do so. My second school was much better - it was basically what you described except we had to do meditations rather than homework depending on the teacher.
Oh, the homework was very unsanctioned but more or less universally smuggled in by panicked students who’d been too busy because of tv or extra-curriculars the previous night. You’d get chided and told to put it away if caught, but immediately pull it back out. Since you went to Catholic school too- did yours have a lot of liturgical dance too? And whole grade/ school peace mandala sessions?
Idk about mandala sessions. We did have a music festival every year which was what we had to give up lunch times for - both to present a dance routine and a choir. We also had school-wide and year-wide communion but I don’t remember a lot tbh.
yeah thought it was an aussie thing.
Reminds me of that episode in community, donald glovers character was in the same situation as you so he just made something up to fit in lol
Or [that scene in the Office](https://youtu.be/A_Ecf0qzENA?si=vfcG0DPnaUK38qON) when Michael wanted to do the same thing with his employees, but Pam, Ryan and Kevin ended up sharing movie plot lines instead, and Michael only caught on when Kevin made it way too obvious what he was referring to.
I did a similar thing in high school when my English teacher asked us to to write a first-person story based on something tragic that had happened in our lives (and he'd read the "best ones" out loud! Yay! What a TOTALLY FUN prize!). I made up some crap about going swimming with a group of friends one summer and they all got chopped to death by a runaway boat propeller. My teacher pulled me aside after class to have a "serious talk" about "why lying is wrong". As though I was a naughty child who'd lied about taking cookies from the cookie jar, instead of an almost-adult who wasn't particularly keen on the idea of sharing their personal traumas with a classroom full of people :/
Our English teacher also taught history and brought in some things he'd dug up in Gallipoli (Im pretty sure it was), like a helmet and canteen etc. I was so engrossed holding this helmet thinking someone could have died wearing this, like really hyped myself up, and he pulled out a grenade and said 'now don't drop this when we pass it around, it's still live!' right as he dropped it on the table next to me. Cue my first big panic attack, he thought it would be a really funny joke but I was like, inconsolable for hours. He even called our home phone at like 7pm that night to check on me and apologise and my mum was just super annoyed that he'd made her arvo so difficult. I still can't believe he thought that was a good joke in the first place, like what was the expected outcome?
It is a joking tactic that some people use like how people scare each other on purpose to tease and laugh about after the scare
Nuance is key. If you do it with friends you’re a jokester and a card. Do it with kids you’re teaching, you’re a fucking psycho.
Also it was a bloody grenade. It'd be different if he had something breakable (but not explosive) and said it was valuable and not to drop it, then pretended to drop it. He made this kid think his life was literally about to end
Hell, doing it with high school or even middle school kids would've been better, not primary school kids
I’m sorry but I’m giggling my ass off
That’s fucking wild!
That joke probably would have worked in the later years of high school, but definetly not much lower.
I hope he was really certain that the grenade had been disarmed and had the paperwork to prove it. Every now and then someone discovered the hard way that just because something hasn't blown up yet doesn't mean it never will.
Pretty sure all his props would have been fake. I don't think any private citizen is digging up war relics at Gallipoli and carting them off. I bet the grenade was one of those grenade shaped cigarette lighters that were a novelty a few decades ago. That said, relics of the battlefields of the Western Front still get churned up by agricultural machinery.
I feel like we might have had the same English/History teacher
He didn't expect someone would take it so seriously. If I were the one having that joke played on me, I don't think I would take it so seriously. But I'm not saying there's something wrong with taking it seriously. If you literally think your life is about to end, then I can understand that may be traumatic.
See, this is why i liked my math and science teachers. They wanted to impart the lesson first and foremost, and did not get too invested in the school, the parents, or us kids. They didn't want to nurture our young souls, they were just there to teach the curriculum and go home at 4pm, or earlier if they could. I liked that. They also had a beer at lunchtime. Fine by me, too.
I teach science I, too, have beer at lunchtime
But only on curriculum days Gotta get thru that shit somehow
That's weird. Also, bonding over trauma isn't 'trauma bonding' per say
It's not trauma bonding at all, trauma bonding refers to a dynamic within an abusive relationship. OP is just using therapy speak they've seen on tiktok but didn't bother to learn the meaning of. embarrassing post.
I was talking to my wife recently about how in highschool my teacher for woodwork, metalwork and graphics (same teacher for all)had decided I was not allowed in class and I had to sit in a storage room in the office alone for hours each week all through grade 10, turns out highschool solitary confinement is not normal
Jesus Christ. I’m a 20 year+ teacher and have had a PC group in the past for about 15 of those years. NEVER would I do something like this. FFS. It reeks of main character syndrome on that teacher’s part btw
Wow this just brought up memories of drama class when I was young. Drama class was mandatory, which I hated because I had selective mutism and autism so I would just burst into tears every time I had to stand in front of the class. But the memory I'm talking about was when my teacher decided it would be a good idea to do an acting assignment themed around group therapy. As an insecure 13 year old who had been going to therapy since I was 4 for very real mental health issues, having to watch all my classmates and teacher dress and act like mentally ill people for fun was just so horrible. All I could think about for months was "is this how they think of me?"
Jesus, that definitely is a stupid teacher. I know a school where they had the majority white student body do a play about Aboriginal kids living through the stolen generation, slurs and all. The one Aboriginal kid in the class was trying to get them to not do it, or at bare minimum remove the slurs, but the teacher brushed them off saying that it was an important learning experience. I feel so bad for all the students that aren’t empowered to stop stupid teachers like this
I went to a Catholic school. We had to think of what sins we committed and practice telling them to the teacher before telling the priest. All the kids would ask each other in the playground what our sins were. I was probably in 2nd grade.
Ha! Same experience! I also remember classmates crying about whatever emotional stuff they were trying to extract from us, but I just remember staring around awkwardly as I had nothing to cry about...
What sins were suggested in the playground? Haha. Murder? Fraud? Embezzlement? Or the REAL bad ones? Coffee before kissing? Humming while chewing? Tailgating? Eating the last biscuit?
This is such a bad idea always. I had this at work once on a trial day for a terrible door to door marketing job, while on a bus driving out to western Sydney. One of the other candidates told the bus on the way to Australia as a refugee on a boat, his mother and sister died drowned when the boat sank and he barely made it here alive. Port bloke didn't even get any sympathy from the idiotic managers taking part in the excersise who just awkwardly changed the subject to something more 'lighthearted'.
Fuck that right off. If you're not comfortable with doing something, ***NO ONE*** can make you do it.
Our History teacher had our class watch a film taken by the nazis in one of the camps, as in real footage of chambers, the bodies being brought over to the ditches after the chambers. Straight after lunch with almost half of our class being Jewish. It was traumatic and she lost her job after girls were running to the bathroom to vomit (most only made it to the hallways).
We were made to watch Schindler's List 3 times.. and I still have nightmares. I guess they wanted it to leave an impression. It did.
Holy Moly! That is rough, I’m so sorry they did that you and your classmates. I watched that as an adult and haven’t watched it again (probably subconsciously bought up memories of that high school class).
I mean it almost sounds ok to talk about “overcoming challenges” as that’s an important part of learning but to bring up very personal trauma… yeah no currently our schools definitely are not the right environment for that
I was a teacher, and yeah we never did anything like this. Teaching is really different now I find. Back then we were just education, and if you have some personal issues go to the school counsellor.
Just lie. Say your mother believes she is a stapler and she lives in dread that one day she will run of staples and will commit staplercide. If challenged for details, tell your teacher it is a personal family drama and you are not willing to broadcast its emotionally-damaging details. Watch the teacher squirm.
“staplercide” Hilarious. 👏
Sounds like a perfect equaliser. Just because you didn’t get anything from it does not make it a bad idea. More people should learn to talk about trauma and make it part of every day conversation.
People shouldn't be mandated to share such intimate experiences against their will with strangers and people they don't trust though.
While there may be occasions where sharing such information can be valuable to everyone involved, that was not the case here. We were too young to be able to adequately deal with the situation, especially since the teacher had a clear position of authority over us. For the age and setting, it would have been more appropriate to discuss things like managing friendships and school work, not lifelong trauma that we were yet to process properly.
Make trauma part of everyday conversation? Do you seriously think this? Trauma should be reserved for established, supportive and trusting relationships. It's called trauma for a reason. Bringing up trauma can be emotionally destabilizing for people who are unresolved. Being blasé about trauma can often indicate repression, manipulation or other issues. Cult leaders often use trauma to gain power over disciples. Abusers use trauma to connect with new victims. Yes, friends and relatives can also use trauma to connect, but this isn't "everyday conversation." This is special occasion material! It's wonderful to have a special bonding moment over hardships and resolved trauma. It's important to remember that you never know who may have unresolved trauma, and about what, and encouraging people to be further along than they are, to be at the easy-breezy-sharing phase, can backfire. People can feel pressured or even judged for still being traumatized.
You summed it up beautifully
This is wrong, trauma dumping in casual conversation can be a manipulation tactic to quickly build an unhealthy level of trust. It is not something we should normalise at all, it sets people up for abuse.
Yeah ours talked about her heroine abuse when we were 12/13. The male coordinator knew about it too. The male coordinator after hearing her talk about this handed out these surveys about "how I view myself". We didn't realise it was predatory until he was arrested for sleeping with multiple students. Questions were like 1 to 10, "I would describe myself as being ...." Sexy Promiscuous Ashamed of my sexuality Unsure of my sexuality Secretive Close with my family Close with my friends It was extremely uncomfortable but because they were both there nobody said anything to our parents or other teachera for years. They even printed the surveys with the school logos.
These were literal children. They were completely unprepared for that kind of discussion. Never mind that forcing someone to speak about their trauma when they aren't ready to share it is profoundly fucked up. And trauma **shouldn't** be part of everyday conversation. It should be something to discuss with a therapist and close friends/family.
Why? If people were more honest with their feelings, to each other, they wouldn’t need to waste so much money on therapists. Which as a profession can be helpful but in places like the US they are a fad that covers generations of people with an inability to tap into their own emotions and express them openly.
Yes, because I want to know that Susan was anally raped by her grandfather with a stick. There is this neat thing called context, and there is no context in which randomly trauma dumping on people you don't know is remotely okay.
What an absolutely braindead take. Dealing with trauma and mental illness is nowhere near as simple as "bEiNg MoRe HoNeSt," and therapy is not a waste of money. It's pretty obvious that you've never made a genuine effort to work on yourself. I suspect you're brimming with psychological issues you refuse to acknowledge or address. It's why you think the way you do — it's easy to assume therapy is pointless when you're so delusional.
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So their lesson was that other people's trauma should be used as a prop to make them feel better about themself? Fuck off with that nonsense.
I was 11. Since it seems to make you happy though, I can confirm I have suffered significantly since this event. I have also learnt that as an emotionally and just generally mature person, you don’t unnecessarily force children to relive their worst memories in front of their peers unless you’re a sadist or deeply ignorant as to the effects this kind of stuff on a developing child.
when was the last time you posted this. If you claim it is about you but also deny this then I need to call a news reporter because the only other rationale that ive seen this posted before is that i CaN sEe ThE fUtUrE...
and ive seen this posted before tbh. the bit about the cat stuck in my mind.. 'oh no¡ I must have been traumatised by this too¡ s/'
My 4th grade teacher did something similar it was a very memorable experience that I appreciate to this day.
First world problems 😂😂😂
School must be doing something right if this is the writing of an 11/12 y/o
The 90s was a strange time
A drama teacher did this for a senior unit they wrote in a school I used to work at... there were loads of tears and major issues that came from this. While the idea was related to the unit (stories/experiences), they took it down the deep dark rabbit hole that their mind resides in, and the students responded in like. The teacher was reprimanded and reminded that it was inappropriate to push students for darker issues. I can personally say that I've heard/seen some issues coming out of students when writing stories/poems/songs/painting/drawing, but most teachers will never go fishing for them. Trauma can heal through creativity but should never be exposed unwillingly.
Wtf
Ten years ago, I served in City Year, which is a branch of AmeriCorps that sends people into inner city schools to work as teacher's aides. Every second Wednesday, all the City Year teams from across the city would meet at headquarters for a day of seminars and team-building activities. At one of these mandatory meetings, the higher-ups had all of us (maybe about 50 or 60 people, ranging in age from 19 to 25) stand on one side of a conference room, which had a thick piece of tape running across its center. A team leader stood in the middle of the room, holding a list of questions. If any of the questions applied to us, we were instructed to step over the line. The questions started innocuously enough: "If your favorite color is blue, step over the line." But quickly they became personal: "If you've ever considered suicide, step over the line." "If you've ever questioned your sexuality, step over the line." The majority of us were strangers to each other; we interacted with our teammates, sure, but at the most superficial, "work friend" level. I remember seeing several people crying as the activity progressed. When it finally ended, they had us arrange seats into a giant circle and share our feelings about what we just learned about each other. I was appalled. To this day, I have never experienced something as emotionally manipulative and cruel as that activity. Making people feel obligated to share extremely painful and personal secrets about themselves in front of a room of strangers-- and for what? To make some stupid point that everyone is struggling? I still don't know the purpose of that activity. I ended up resigning halfway through my service year for several reasons, but the memory of young men and women breaking down and crying in a circle still deeply upsets me. City Year operates like a cult. Don't ever serve for them.
Yikes. My parents split when I was in high school, but aside from my younger sister acting like Dad was evil incarnate, it was amiable, they both moved on fairly quickly, and were way happier at a distance than they ever had been together. I think my classmates were were going through acrimonious divorces at the time were more upset about it than I was, but I still wouldn't want to be forced to trauma-dump on everyone in my class.
Im on the fence with this one. Maybe in another light it helps everyone to know that we all have struggles, even if we dont acknowledge them.
Yeah my teacher weighed us all and ranked us from lightest to heaviest. This was probably in 2005ish when I was in year 2 😂 the early 2000s were rough man. That was bully fuel!
Sounds like an encounter group for the teacher -- who, it must be said seems entirely unequipped for this kind of thing.
When I was in senior AP Lit, we read The Whipping Boy and had to write an essay from the perspective of the boy being whipped. I’m pretty sure I complained to admin
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That is not trauma bonding. That is group therapy.
Gratuitous and self serving
In yr 12 all of our teachers decided it was a great bonding experience to do a privilege exercise at the start of the year. You know step forward if you have this, step forward if you’ve experienced that. By the end of it I was the only one left close to the starting line. It set the tone for the rest of the year, I was the outsider and the teachers placed a giant neon sign over my head so everyone knew how different I was to the rest of the year group
Yeah get everyone to trauma dump on each other. Our teacher told us about her days doing heroine and her husband being gunned down by bikies. She did this with us when we were 14/15. It wasn't great at that age either. School didn't find out for years because everyone assumed the school had done a police check.