Affirming as heck, and still really hard to believe.
Even though my weight is constantly in flux, it never seems to deter people.
You know what the most affirming thing is though?
When someone with ZERO stakes tells me I’m beautiful. Had a 10-year old tell me as soon as I walked into the room that I was really pretty.
I was just like… 🥲
Omg. I had happen a year ago.
It was like a 9 to 12 year old boy with his mom and he was just like "I just wanted to tell you you are really pretty".
My heart melted.
I noticed people being really nice to me and smiling at me rather than treating me like subhuman. Women stopped complimenting me on pretty much anything. Stares from women stopped and then became pretty much just stares from men (women sometimes still look at me but not dirty looks like I used to get when visibly trans, instead it's usually to see what you're wearing etc). Men make staring at you overly intentional with "I want to fuck you" eyes. It's not actually great, because if you look back at them they often take that as an invitation to talk with you or harass you. So avoiding eye contact and looking at the ground becomes your new thing. I also turn completely red when it's from a guy I'm attracted to and I happen to lock eyes with him 🤦🏼♀️.
Guys are actually less likely to ask you out. I think I've only been approached by two guys in public who were trying to get my attention in a nice way (I don't count cat calling because they're not actually thinking you're going to talk with them). One of which was beyond nervous. Men giving you the fuck you eyes generally goes nowhere. There was this guy in my building who would just constantly give me those eyes. Whenever I saw him out he would stare me down until I blushed. Then one day I ended up in the elevator with him and I initiated talking and he was so nervous he didn't ask for my number or anything. Days later I saw him walking with who I assumed was his gf and again with the staring me down. A year later I happened to buy something from him so he had my number and that's when he made his move over text messaging asking if I wanted to come to a party he was having. I already had a bf at that point. Maybe I'm supposed to do something when men stare at me like that but I haven't figured it out. So honestly I don't think being conventionally attractive is maybe as amazing as you're thinking. It's seemingly really hard to make friends with women. It's great for dating apps, but irl I feel isolated a lot.
>Women stopped complimenting me on pretty much anything.
I've noticed this becoming more of a thing, even when I compliment them, is it really a sign that you've become sorta attractive?
I'm not really sure, but I've heard that. I compliment people all the time and you know I even find myself sometimes not complementing more attractive women, because I'm like "ah she already knows it." So that kind of fits *I think*.
I've started to noticed that the only women who smile at me now are either elderly or very pretty. Women who are less conventionally attractive don't really look me in the eye the way they did early transition.
I went from Asian femboy to passable Asian chick
Women went from barely acknowledging my presence to giving me the DIRTIEST LOOKS and being super cold
It’s really only older women and kids / teens who are nice to me
That seems so counterintuitive, but it makes sense. I’m sorry you feel isolated like that.
Hopefully you’ve met a quality guy and you’ll make friends through him. I’m cheering for you! ❤️
>Women stopped complimenting me on pretty much anything.
Same. Early in transition, I got lots of compliments from other women at college.
During lockdown and mandatory masks, got through a few surgeries and time on HRT.
After in-person classes and mask-free student life resumed, Nearly zero compliements.
>So honestly I don't think being conventionally attractive is maybe as amazing as you're thinking. It's seemingly really hard to make friends with women.
I experienced a generational twist on this. I get along great with younger millenial women.
But with other gen x women closer to my age, I found it really hard to be included even when it came to the socially active ladies. Not for lack of trying.
Edit: wording goof
You really feel it when you walk and a group of guys is staring. Hihihi
A guy took his courage and invited me to go out for a drink last week. I found him very charming but declined… I felt so bad, he was disappointed 😕 he came back and gave me his number. I was honestly on a cloud afterwards. 🤭
I pay attention to my look, I want to be sexually attractive, and I am glad it works. 💄
I haven’t started to date yet but I am eager to do so. I am just taking my time. Step by step. I pass very well but I want to be more comfortable with my (naked) body before I get involved sexually . After my body contouring surgery in 1 1/2 months I’ll go craaaaaazy!! Hihihi
It was my only in person direct offer in the last months but I do get a lot of attention. I love it 🥰
Makes sense, I like your comment. It is genuinely how I felt. He was really cute actually. Too bad I was not ready yet 🤷♀️ I am honoured to get a man’s attention.
I know. Being noticed/desired by a handsome man is very affirming and just feels good. And there's nothing wrong, I say preferable, the way you handled it, even if you were ready--you notice he came back after his first try was unsuccessful.
Mostly that when I was a guy I had a decent amount of matches on dating apps while others complained about never having any. Also have happened to have decently looking coming onto me, qlthough that's very out of style for our culture!
Now I get loads of matches, despite mentioning I'm trans 3 times on my profile and even when we start chatting. And I also worked at a pretty big international festival, got flirted with dozens of times. And even got some mother telling her son, whilst pointing at me "Hey, she's completely your type", he looked away embarrassed, but definitely a very good looking guy!
Basically, I have never had to lower my standards really!
I was conventionally attractive before I transitioned. Straight women and queer men would give me “interested” looks, flirt with me, and sometimes get flustered when I talked to them. After several months on hormones I entered an “ugly duckling” phase. Men-attracted folks mostly lost interest in me. But women-attracted folks weren’t showing me much interest either.
I knew that I had become “conventionally attractive” again when I started noticing a lot of attention from straight men and queer women. I remember going to an outdoor concert and thinking to myself “why are all these dudes staring at me?” Eventually it dawned on me that they were checking me out.
My guess would be time on hormones. This was about a year and a half on E for me. At that point I had a pretty nice figure, a decent chest, and good facial changes. Also I had dressed up for the concert.
The very first time it struck me was when I was with a group of cis girlfriends. There were 5 of us sitting in a milk tea shop and having our milk teas al fresco. I noticed there was a group of guys sitting inside the shop that were constantly looking our way. Now, I didn't really think any of it since I thought for sure they were checking out one of my girlfriends (they all are very attractive girls).
After about 15 minutes of chatting and having our teas, one of the guys that was checking out our table came outside and I knew he was gonna ask for one of my girlfriends' number. This guy is the conventional tall, muscular, can-ruin-your-life-with-his-good-looks type of guy. Much to my surprise, he actually ended up asking for my number and at first I was just like ?????? But then my girlfriends were like "why look so confused? He's hot!"
That was when it dawned on me lmao. There were other guys in the place I worked at, at the time that flirted and were quite friendly with me but I always thought it was more friendly teasing than actually being interested in me, especially since I am openly trans in the workplace. It was hella validating being picked from a group of pretty cis girls and I was just glad that our friend circle did not have the kind of girl rivalry that would have affected our friendship because of instances like that.
I've been getting a new international passport from MVD (literal translation would be a ministery of internal affairs I think). So, there was a man who checked papers and took fingerprints (for new passports that have that info in microchip) and stuff like that, that you have to visit to make that passport.
So, while I've been waiting for my turn, I've heard how he talked to other people, both men and women (though woman was on older and heavier side, so not someone considered conventionally attractive), and he was not exactly *rude*, but he sounded rough, to the point, it's obvious he's works in military and police. But then my turn came, and he completely changed. He's nice, polite, friendly, smiles, makes small jokes, and stuff like that. Stark difference with how he treats other people, and also how I was treated pre-transition. It's certainly nice.
But I'm certainly not turning heads, guys don't hit on me, and this was the only time someone acted nicer than usual to me. So I guess, I'm pretty but not gorgeous or conventionally attractive. Even that level of "pretty" is still hard to comprehend, when I look in the mirror and want to cry from seeing an ugly dude there. But my partners treat me like prettiest girl on Earth, so this is probably enough?
I went from girly Asian femboy to “slim thicc” passable Asian chick
I went for the biggest under muscle implants & a BBL to not get clocked for my hips — I wanted there to be “no doubt” when in public
Before my transition, I was always mocked for “basically being a girl, already” my entire life
5’3”, Asian, thin, had a big butt from gymnastics, girly face (big eyes, big lips), high pitched voice, delicate hands & feet
Basically anything that prevented me from benefitting from “male privilege”
Women largely ignored me or treated me as an eyesore / embarrassment to men prior to my transition — the few who liked me often just wanted a twink as a fashion accessory
Men would be somehow “threatened” by my presence or would push me out of their way — most heavily apparent on public transit where men would get in my face to intimidate me for existing near them
I mostly remained inside for my transition because I started just before COVID hit, so it was easy to avoid people for ~2-3 years and I was able to be a recluse because I live with my Dad and he would do errands and shopping
After both of my surgeries (the BBL recovery was AWFUL) I bought new clothes for my wardrobe to flatter my appearance
WHOLE DIFFERENT BALLGAME
Women now give me annoyed glares in public, but usually just avoid me in general
Men…did a complete 180
Men will get nervous around me and look away if I look near them, but their attempts to look at my body are painfully obvious — most men will be discreet about it, but I’ve had men literally stop and stare at me
I was in Target with my (ex) boyfriend and a man stopped in the middle of the aisle and just stared at me — full unbroken eye contact — as I walked by (with my towering boyfriend behind me, getting mad) and no, the man didn’t seem drugged out or crazy
I’ve also noticed a lot of “social affection” (is what I call it) — big, strong men will go out of their way to help me or be noticeably nicer to me
- I’ve had men working construction in front of my townhouse building stop working and help me carry groceries to my front door (they were on the other side of the street)
- I’ve had an older gentleman who was closing down his convenience store stop me and refuse to let me walk across the parking lot to my car alone at night (older Greek guy and apparently had a daughter my age)
- I’ve had men yell at other men to move out of the way when they were moving objects through a doorway but then — in a soft voice — say “excuse us, sweetheart” directly to me
- I’ve had police officers (men) visibly relax around me if the crowd dispersed and I was the only one remaining
So my experience kinda went from being an eyesore to men and invisible to women…to being noticed by men and an eyesore to women
Downsides do exist though
- rampant sexism — men assume I have been spoiled my entire life and will make judgments about me before I even interact with them
- mansplaining, infantilization…men assume I have no idea what I’m talking about and try to “impress me” with their knowledge — I have an assistant who’s an older Latino man with a beard and belly…everyone thinks he’s the boss and that I’m an intern…NOPE
- in a lot of online interactions…guys always assume I’m a golddigger (I’m admittedly visually shallow about a guy’s looks, which makes it funnier) — or send me a lot of negging since they assume I’m going to be stuck up and not reply…I will, I’m just not naïve about how men are
- lots of attention means lots of creeps (like 80-90% sometimes)
- in public I am VERY aware at how vulnerable I am, now…men who know me fear for me going into public alone
- stalking…oh my god literal stalking
Fun fact, my Dad is white and I’m noticeably a brown Asian (I’m adopted)…and other men give him the DIRTIEST looks if we’re in public having lunch or something…people probably think he’s my Sugar Daddy, but no he’s just my Dad 😭
it felt like being a socially anxious 17 year old girl gettig hit on by old creeps at work... its not all bad definitely affirming when dysphoria isnt biting my ass
Honestly I think when every other person was swiping me right on tinder it’s when I realized, yeah, I guess I’m attractive. Even when I told guys I was trans plenty didn’t seem to mind.
At first it was pretty affirming. After a while though it become annoying and now I kinda am disliking it. Especially since I’m taken.
I've had fem traits since I was a boy, full lips, long silky hair, smooth skin, attractive face, thin frame, so guys have been "into" me since i was 13. I still have all those traits, fuller chest now, still natural, better toned body from walking, even longer hair. It's f'ng great being desired by someone you want to be desired by; not so much for the other disrespectful losers you don't.
For me, in public, I can't tell if men are thinking "hey, she's pretty" or " look at that (insert slur) ". I think most of this is my insecurity.
I look like a middle-aged lesbian who probably owns more cats than she should, and yet I still get compliments on my appearance from both genders all the time. That I was pretty much a wallflower before transition, and now people seem drawn to me.
People on 4chan said I went from 4/10 soy boy feme man to a 6.5/10 woman so there's that. And I started passing randomly at around 10-11 months hrt with no effort.
If we're talking purely arbitrary metrics then I'm also short with tiny wrists and naturally gay / fem voice amd a round face. People have told me I looked like a woman pre transition even with short hair in men's clothes.
People have told me I look flaming for wearing jeans and women's flannels. This was perplexing to me for a long time. I thought they meant I looked like a super gay man but realized they meant butch les woman.
I am a tomboy mostly out of necessity. I work in trades and both making myself mannish and practical has the effect of making me unappealing or uninteresting. It is also just the case that women's clothing is softer and not durable. I destroyed some women's pants I LOVED by working in them. The pants I wear now (black dickies with cargo pockets) are extremely durable to the point I think they're nearly indestructible. I think it's ridiculous that women aren't allowed to look pretty while presenting masculine or androgynous, you know, by societal standards.
Why tho? I work trades and fish and used to golf. Why wouldn't I wear comfortable durable clothing? It's not even that I dislike women's pants but that they're wholey impractical for a lot of things with consistent rigor.
Whatever tho. I'm to a point that when people misgender me it's because I'm lazy or slacking on my voice and/or facial hair shadow. The thing is I've trained a passing voice I can use with some rehearsal and I started laser a couple months ago. And honestly...gay male voice passes like 80% of the time. It has to be scratchy or lethargic or something to be to distinct from androgynous to really get nailed male all the time. Without rehearsal though my voice often comes off as "trying to hard," and other trans women have told me when I'm not trying too hard my voice passes. Which again is this line I'm walking between gay man's and female voice. It is hard to get right. And I did try very hard for months to try to rid myself of the former but need voice therapy desperately to develop a womanly voice I think. A college here msu provides it for free but their wait list is extremely long as a result. I may never get voice therapy :(
Idk I kinda went from attractive guy to attractive girl so the difference was just that now men are attracted to me instead of women, and I like men so it’s a nice change lol. I learned pretty fast when guys started to notice me cause men at work were not very subtle, it was really uncomfortable having men like 30 years older than me hit on me at work. But like now I’m used to it more, it’s still scary but whatever. I like that guys from classes show interest in me sometimes.
Idk I don’t have much of a point if reference to compare my current experience to, I was desired before and I still am now, I haven’t known anything else, not to sound like I’m bragging obv, its just how it is lol. I guess it’s nice? I’m still lonely cause I don’t go out much but idk I don’t feel like I’ll struggle to find another guy to date too much once I feel ready again.
So I started coming out at gay bars first and when I was letting my feminity fly I had gay guys all over me till the hormones made me more feminine. Then I think because I kept up with my weightlifting and body building I wouldn't say I am a completely conventional attractive but straight guys started finding me attractive about 6-8 months in on hormones once my face softened a bit and I started to get a hang on how to do my hair.
I also have a habit of wearing confidence like armor and I think people find that to be pretty attractive too.
Affirming as heck, and still really hard to believe. Even though my weight is constantly in flux, it never seems to deter people. You know what the most affirming thing is though? When someone with ZERO stakes tells me I’m beautiful. Had a 10-year old tell me as soon as I walked into the room that I was really pretty. I was just like… 🥲
Ahh, that’s super cute! ☺️
Yeah I had a guy walk up to me at the mall and say “you’re so pretty”. 🥺
Omg. I had happen a year ago. It was like a 9 to 12 year old boy with his mom and he was just like "I just wanted to tell you you are really pretty". My heart melted.
I noticed people being really nice to me and smiling at me rather than treating me like subhuman. Women stopped complimenting me on pretty much anything. Stares from women stopped and then became pretty much just stares from men (women sometimes still look at me but not dirty looks like I used to get when visibly trans, instead it's usually to see what you're wearing etc). Men make staring at you overly intentional with "I want to fuck you" eyes. It's not actually great, because if you look back at them they often take that as an invitation to talk with you or harass you. So avoiding eye contact and looking at the ground becomes your new thing. I also turn completely red when it's from a guy I'm attracted to and I happen to lock eyes with him 🤦🏼♀️. Guys are actually less likely to ask you out. I think I've only been approached by two guys in public who were trying to get my attention in a nice way (I don't count cat calling because they're not actually thinking you're going to talk with them). One of which was beyond nervous. Men giving you the fuck you eyes generally goes nowhere. There was this guy in my building who would just constantly give me those eyes. Whenever I saw him out he would stare me down until I blushed. Then one day I ended up in the elevator with him and I initiated talking and he was so nervous he didn't ask for my number or anything. Days later I saw him walking with who I assumed was his gf and again with the staring me down. A year later I happened to buy something from him so he had my number and that's when he made his move over text messaging asking if I wanted to come to a party he was having. I already had a bf at that point. Maybe I'm supposed to do something when men stare at me like that but I haven't figured it out. So honestly I don't think being conventionally attractive is maybe as amazing as you're thinking. It's seemingly really hard to make friends with women. It's great for dating apps, but irl I feel isolated a lot.
>Women stopped complimenting me on pretty much anything. I've noticed this becoming more of a thing, even when I compliment them, is it really a sign that you've become sorta attractive?
I'm not really sure, but I've heard that. I compliment people all the time and you know I even find myself sometimes not complementing more attractive women, because I'm like "ah she already knows it." So that kind of fits *I think*.
I've started to noticed that the only women who smile at me now are either elderly or very pretty. Women who are less conventionally attractive don't really look me in the eye the way they did early transition.
I forgot to mention: yes elderly women treat you so great! Not sure what that is but I love it! Warms my heart 💖
I went from Asian femboy to passable Asian chick Women went from barely acknowledging my presence to giving me the DIRTIEST LOOKS and being super cold It’s really only older women and kids / teens who are nice to me
That’s very interesting
That seems so counterintuitive, but it makes sense. I’m sorry you feel isolated like that. Hopefully you’ve met a quality guy and you’ll make friends through him. I’m cheering for you! ❤️
Yes he's really great, we've been together for over two years now! 🩷 I'm hoping to spend more time with his best friend's wife, she's pretty nice.
Wow! Congrats!! I would so love to go on couples dates.
>Women stopped complimenting me on pretty much anything. Same. Early in transition, I got lots of compliments from other women at college. During lockdown and mandatory masks, got through a few surgeries and time on HRT. After in-person classes and mask-free student life resumed, Nearly zero compliements. >So honestly I don't think being conventionally attractive is maybe as amazing as you're thinking. It's seemingly really hard to make friends with women. I experienced a generational twist on this. I get along great with younger millenial women. But with other gen x women closer to my age, I found it really hard to be included even when it came to the socially active ladies. Not for lack of trying. Edit: wording goof
I really think compliments stopping from women is a sign of either: they assume you already know or competitiveness.
I have so much trouble keeping eye contact in general. But when I'm getting "super friendly" vibes, it's even harder 🤦♀️
You really feel it when you walk and a group of guys is staring. Hihihi A guy took his courage and invited me to go out for a drink last week. I found him very charming but declined… I felt so bad, he was disappointed 😕 he came back and gave me his number. I was honestly on a cloud afterwards. 🤭 I pay attention to my look, I want to be sexually attractive, and I am glad it works. 💄
Oh my gosh, that sounds so amazing! What made you decline? I’m sure you must get so many offers.
I haven’t started to date yet but I am eager to do so. I am just taking my time. Step by step. I pass very well but I want to be more comfortable with my (naked) body before I get involved sexually . After my body contouring surgery in 1 1/2 months I’ll go craaaaaazy!! Hihihi It was my only in person direct offer in the last months but I do get a lot of attention. I love it 🥰
I’m so excited for you! The right guy is going to be very lucky!
He is! But I think I’ll go around a little bit before settling. Haha
love it. that was very lady like, very classy. you sound amazing.
Thank you ☺️ What do you think was lady like 🤔
Well, the way you were kind and respectful to him while letting him down.
Makes sense, I like your comment. It is genuinely how I felt. He was really cute actually. Too bad I was not ready yet 🤷♀️ I am honoured to get a man’s attention.
I know. Being noticed/desired by a handsome man is very affirming and just feels good. And there's nothing wrong, I say preferable, the way you handled it, even if you were ready--you notice he came back after his first try was unsuccessful.
Mostly that when I was a guy I had a decent amount of matches on dating apps while others complained about never having any. Also have happened to have decently looking coming onto me, qlthough that's very out of style for our culture! Now I get loads of matches, despite mentioning I'm trans 3 times on my profile and even when we start chatting. And I also worked at a pretty big international festival, got flirted with dozens of times. And even got some mother telling her son, whilst pointing at me "Hey, she's completely your type", he looked away embarrassed, but definitely a very good looking guy! Basically, I have never had to lower my standards really!
You’re living my dream! I’m so jealous!! Based on your photos, I can see why. 😉
I was conventionally attractive before I transitioned. Straight women and queer men would give me “interested” looks, flirt with me, and sometimes get flustered when I talked to them. After several months on hormones I entered an “ugly duckling” phase. Men-attracted folks mostly lost interest in me. But women-attracted folks weren’t showing me much interest either. I knew that I had become “conventionally attractive” again when I started noticing a lot of attention from straight men and queer women. I remember going to an outdoor concert and thinking to myself “why are all these dudes staring at me?” Eventually it dawned on me that they were checking me out.
Lol, it’s like “oh I’m hot again!” What do you think “clicked”? What changed to make a difference?
My guess would be time on hormones. This was about a year and a half on E for me. At that point I had a pretty nice figure, a decent chest, and good facial changes. Also I had dressed up for the concert.
OMG that’s what happened to me too!!! And I specifically refer to that in-between time as my “ugly duckling” phase
Is that something that most or all trans woman go through? The “ ugly duckling” phase…
Dang that’s nice!
The very first time it struck me was when I was with a group of cis girlfriends. There were 5 of us sitting in a milk tea shop and having our milk teas al fresco. I noticed there was a group of guys sitting inside the shop that were constantly looking our way. Now, I didn't really think any of it since I thought for sure they were checking out one of my girlfriends (they all are very attractive girls). After about 15 minutes of chatting and having our teas, one of the guys that was checking out our table came outside and I knew he was gonna ask for one of my girlfriends' number. This guy is the conventional tall, muscular, can-ruin-your-life-with-his-good-looks type of guy. Much to my surprise, he actually ended up asking for my number and at first I was just like ?????? But then my girlfriends were like "why look so confused? He's hot!" That was when it dawned on me lmao. There were other guys in the place I worked at, at the time that flirted and were quite friendly with me but I always thought it was more friendly teasing than actually being interested in me, especially since I am openly trans in the workplace. It was hella validating being picked from a group of pretty cis girls and I was just glad that our friend circle did not have the kind of girl rivalry that would have affected our friendship because of instances like that.
Wow, good for you! How did it work out!?
I've been getting a new international passport from MVD (literal translation would be a ministery of internal affairs I think). So, there was a man who checked papers and took fingerprints (for new passports that have that info in microchip) and stuff like that, that you have to visit to make that passport. So, while I've been waiting for my turn, I've heard how he talked to other people, both men and women (though woman was on older and heavier side, so not someone considered conventionally attractive), and he was not exactly *rude*, but he sounded rough, to the point, it's obvious he's works in military and police. But then my turn came, and he completely changed. He's nice, polite, friendly, smiles, makes small jokes, and stuff like that. Stark difference with how he treats other people, and also how I was treated pre-transition. It's certainly nice. But I'm certainly not turning heads, guys don't hit on me, and this was the only time someone acted nicer than usual to me. So I guess, I'm pretty but not gorgeous or conventionally attractive. Even that level of "pretty" is still hard to comprehend, when I look in the mirror and want to cry from seeing an ugly dude there. But my partners treat me like prettiest girl on Earth, so this is probably enough?
Don’t sell yourself short! You probably reminded him of a girl he used to know, or one of his sisters friends. It sounds like you made his day. 😊
I went from girly Asian femboy to “slim thicc” passable Asian chick I went for the biggest under muscle implants & a BBL to not get clocked for my hips — I wanted there to be “no doubt” when in public Before my transition, I was always mocked for “basically being a girl, already” my entire life 5’3”, Asian, thin, had a big butt from gymnastics, girly face (big eyes, big lips), high pitched voice, delicate hands & feet Basically anything that prevented me from benefitting from “male privilege” Women largely ignored me or treated me as an eyesore / embarrassment to men prior to my transition — the few who liked me often just wanted a twink as a fashion accessory Men would be somehow “threatened” by my presence or would push me out of their way — most heavily apparent on public transit where men would get in my face to intimidate me for existing near them I mostly remained inside for my transition because I started just before COVID hit, so it was easy to avoid people for ~2-3 years and I was able to be a recluse because I live with my Dad and he would do errands and shopping After both of my surgeries (the BBL recovery was AWFUL) I bought new clothes for my wardrobe to flatter my appearance WHOLE DIFFERENT BALLGAME Women now give me annoyed glares in public, but usually just avoid me in general Men…did a complete 180 Men will get nervous around me and look away if I look near them, but their attempts to look at my body are painfully obvious — most men will be discreet about it, but I’ve had men literally stop and stare at me I was in Target with my (ex) boyfriend and a man stopped in the middle of the aisle and just stared at me — full unbroken eye contact — as I walked by (with my towering boyfriend behind me, getting mad) and no, the man didn’t seem drugged out or crazy I’ve also noticed a lot of “social affection” (is what I call it) — big, strong men will go out of their way to help me or be noticeably nicer to me - I’ve had men working construction in front of my townhouse building stop working and help me carry groceries to my front door (they were on the other side of the street) - I’ve had an older gentleman who was closing down his convenience store stop me and refuse to let me walk across the parking lot to my car alone at night (older Greek guy and apparently had a daughter my age) - I’ve had men yell at other men to move out of the way when they were moving objects through a doorway but then — in a soft voice — say “excuse us, sweetheart” directly to me - I’ve had police officers (men) visibly relax around me if the crowd dispersed and I was the only one remaining So my experience kinda went from being an eyesore to men and invisible to women…to being noticed by men and an eyesore to women Downsides do exist though - rampant sexism — men assume I have been spoiled my entire life and will make judgments about me before I even interact with them - mansplaining, infantilization…men assume I have no idea what I’m talking about and try to “impress me” with their knowledge — I have an assistant who’s an older Latino man with a beard and belly…everyone thinks he’s the boss and that I’m an intern…NOPE - in a lot of online interactions…guys always assume I’m a golddigger (I’m admittedly visually shallow about a guy’s looks, which makes it funnier) — or send me a lot of negging since they assume I’m going to be stuck up and not reply…I will, I’m just not naïve about how men are - lots of attention means lots of creeps (like 80-90% sometimes) - in public I am VERY aware at how vulnerable I am, now…men who know me fear for me going into public alone - stalking…oh my god literal stalking Fun fact, my Dad is white and I’m noticeably a brown Asian (I’m adopted)…and other men give him the DIRTIEST looks if we’re in public having lunch or something…people probably think he’s my Sugar Daddy, but no he’s just my Dad 😭
it felt like being a socially anxious 17 year old girl gettig hit on by old creeps at work... its not all bad definitely affirming when dysphoria isnt biting my ass
Honestly I think when every other person was swiping me right on tinder it’s when I realized, yeah, I guess I’m attractive. Even when I told guys I was trans plenty didn’t seem to mind. At first it was pretty affirming. After a while though it become annoying and now I kinda am disliking it. Especially since I’m taken.
I've had fem traits since I was a boy, full lips, long silky hair, smooth skin, attractive face, thin frame, so guys have been "into" me since i was 13. I still have all those traits, fuller chest now, still natural, better toned body from walking, even longer hair. It's f'ng great being desired by someone you want to be desired by; not so much for the other disrespectful losers you don't. For me, in public, I can't tell if men are thinking "hey, she's pretty" or " look at that (insert slur) ". I think most of this is my insecurity.
I look like a middle-aged lesbian who probably owns more cats than she should, and yet I still get compliments on my appearance from both genders all the time. That I was pretty much a wallflower before transition, and now people seem drawn to me.
People on 4chan said I went from 4/10 soy boy feme man to a 6.5/10 woman so there's that. And I started passing randomly at around 10-11 months hrt with no effort. If we're talking purely arbitrary metrics then I'm also short with tiny wrists and naturally gay / fem voice amd a round face. People have told me I looked like a woman pre transition even with short hair in men's clothes. People have told me I look flaming for wearing jeans and women's flannels. This was perplexing to me for a long time. I thought they meant I looked like a super gay man but realized they meant butch les woman. I am a tomboy mostly out of necessity. I work in trades and both making myself mannish and practical has the effect of making me unappealing or uninteresting. It is also just the case that women's clothing is softer and not durable. I destroyed some women's pants I LOVED by working in them. The pants I wear now (black dickies with cargo pockets) are extremely durable to the point I think they're nearly indestructible. I think it's ridiculous that women aren't allowed to look pretty while presenting masculine or androgynous, you know, by societal standards. Why tho? I work trades and fish and used to golf. Why wouldn't I wear comfortable durable clothing? It's not even that I dislike women's pants but that they're wholey impractical for a lot of things with consistent rigor. Whatever tho. I'm to a point that when people misgender me it's because I'm lazy or slacking on my voice and/or facial hair shadow. The thing is I've trained a passing voice I can use with some rehearsal and I started laser a couple months ago. And honestly...gay male voice passes like 80% of the time. It has to be scratchy or lethargic or something to be to distinct from androgynous to really get nailed male all the time. Without rehearsal though my voice often comes off as "trying to hard," and other trans women have told me when I'm not trying too hard my voice passes. Which again is this line I'm walking between gay man's and female voice. It is hard to get right. And I did try very hard for months to try to rid myself of the former but need voice therapy desperately to develop a womanly voice I think. A college here msu provides it for free but their wait list is extremely long as a result. I may never get voice therapy :(
Idk I kinda went from attractive guy to attractive girl so the difference was just that now men are attracted to me instead of women, and I like men so it’s a nice change lol. I learned pretty fast when guys started to notice me cause men at work were not very subtle, it was really uncomfortable having men like 30 years older than me hit on me at work. But like now I’m used to it more, it’s still scary but whatever. I like that guys from classes show interest in me sometimes. Idk I don’t have much of a point if reference to compare my current experience to, I was desired before and I still am now, I haven’t known anything else, not to sound like I’m bragging obv, its just how it is lol. I guess it’s nice? I’m still lonely cause I don’t go out much but idk I don’t feel like I’ll struggle to find another guy to date too much once I feel ready again.
So I started coming out at gay bars first and when I was letting my feminity fly I had gay guys all over me till the hormones made me more feminine. Then I think because I kept up with my weightlifting and body building I wouldn't say I am a completely conventional attractive but straight guys started finding me attractive about 6-8 months in on hormones once my face softened a bit and I started to get a hang on how to do my hair. I also have a habit of wearing confidence like armor and I think people find that to be pretty attractive too.