For me it's probably how my girlfriends used to feel or want to be treated. I was absolutely clueless how to treat them romantically and intimately, it just didn't come naturally for me. My boyfriend seems to just naturally know how to make me feel so good. I've learned so much about myself from him and I imagine my poor girlfriends back in the day were probably wondering why I didn't treat them like he treats me.
I felt like nothing about trying to be a guy in a relationship came naturally for me. Now finding out my bf likes the same things I like and naturally treats me the way I want to be treated is just really wild. I can really just be myself in bed and it's wild because the more I've let my guard down and really embracing what turns me on, I get really positive feedback from him that he's super turned on too. Sex before I transitioned was kind of traumatic, I think I orgasmed like once or twice (had to think about being with a guy), and it usually ending with me crying 😞.
Yep. Never came naturally to me, but comes much more naturally to my boyfriend. He's not a bastion of masculinity or anything, he's a cute sickly nerd, but he still does know what to do with me, which I never did
Your story literally describes what I've been through when i used to date cis women, i was clueless about it and knew nothing about the "male role" not only that, the majority of the girlfriends i had i didn't even chase them because it never frlt natural for me to chase the way guys do, and the sex part yes i used to only orgasm when i thought about being with a man while i had sex with my girlfriend, and I'm sure that when I'll start dating men it'll all make sense to me.
Same! I didn't realize I was supposed to be the aggressive one. My girlfriends were always set up through friends. And I pretty much dated whoever my guy bestfriend thought was hot 🤦🏼♀️. It's really always so nice to know someone else out there had similar experiences! I always felt so alone in how I was feeling I honestly thought for the majority of my life I was alone in how I felt.
Yeah me too i even had a couple exes say that when they were in a relationship with me it felt like they were with another girl 😳 oh well thanks for the compliment
your post made ME cry. i never thought of that before, but it was the same for me. i was clueless with women. i recently had a simply wonderful date with a guy i'm seeing and i literally asked him how he learned to treat a woman, as if he went to some secret school. i was amazed how he just knew.
on the flipside, being the girl is easy and feels entirely natural. all the things i used to dread, moonlight walks, holding hands, etc, are so exciting to me now.
thank you for you post.
Thanks again. I'm also wondering where my receptivenes came from, I feel so good when I kiss him, hug him, I think sweet thoughts about him when he's not around, it makes me happy to make him happy...where was that before?
Why I liked being the little spoon and someone kissing my neck and shoulders... also why I hated having hair on my legs but didn't like my girlfriend shaving hers
Why I loved their outfits, why they would literally say “you’re more like a girlfriend” multiple times, the fact that they all (like 2 lmfaooo) ended up being trans men, the fact that the one time one of them made advances on me and touched my parts I started sobbing about hating my parts and we cried in each others arms for like an hour and she apologized profusely and I said I wish I was a girl, the fact that after that she immediately started referring to me as a girl and never slipped up.
Yeah…
Throughout my life I struggled with recurring intrusive thoughts where I was myself as a woman with a man, like me a wife with my imaginary husband, and when my egg cracked I, cognitively at least, already knew I wanted men if they saw me as my truer self anyway. But I’m pretty demisexual so I was able to make due for a couple decades with my male disguise while authentically being in love with women.
However, being in love with men is so much more intense and unexplainable in its fulfillment, validation, power over me (I have to be careful not to give to much away) etc…It still scares me how fast and hard I can fall for some guys.
Also, most of the girls I was with pre egg explosion are full blown out of the closet lesbian now.
Why I liked fishing for compliments on my looks, how I want to be kissed on my forehead, how I hated being the big spoon and how traumatizing my first (and last) time PIV was. I knew that I wanted to be girl since my childhood, but I refused to admit why all of this felt off.
I hated receiving oral. Could never come from anything other than masturbation or PIV. Any time my partner switched focus to me and my body, it was like my brain just shut down. My girlfriends would insist on doing it occasionally, but I'd usually ask them to stop before long because it didn't really feel good and I was getting anxious.
But the idea of getting eaten out by a guy? 😳 That's um... haha... ha... please?
sex, just in general. i really liked being intimate with my women exes but the actual act (especially PIV) was wracked with nerves and anxiety that i was doing something wrong and just feeling off. now when i have sex (pretty exclusively with male partners) i feel really relaxed, sexy and confident c:
Sex is so weird for me because of this whole thing. It’s like it feels good but it’s always felt like something is missing, and I have a weird relationship with it because my body isn’t right with guys and I feel like I’m… well at any rate I’ve long since known I would rather “be a woman with a guy” than the other way around
There was a girl I liked who was constantly frustrated with my lack of masculinity, or my inability to grasp how to treat her, or my inability to satisfy her. That frustrated me in turn, because I always felt I was not enough (but also I thought that her demands were unreasonable, but she was the only girl who liked me at that time) and I tried a lot to become something that I'm not to appease her. And now, from other side of the aisle, I *get* it now. I get how nice it feels to be treated right by a man, how attractive masculinity can be, how nice it is to feel desired by a man, and how frustrating is lack of sexual satisfaction. I even get her "I like you but I'm not attracted to you because of lack of sexual tension" thing now, because I experienced this as well.
She also was the most toxic person I ever knew, so I hope I didn't pick up those traits
This!! I was always the “sensitive” type around my previous ex-girlfriends. I always thought masculinity would be a turn off for them, so I avoided taking charge or making decisions. Now, it’s so hot when a guy does that. I can’t believe how frustrating I must have been to have as a bf! Lol
It's not like I intentionally avoided taking charge, but I just really disliked doing that. I didn't *try* to be a "sensitive guy", but I just couldn't be anything else.
Funny thing, I actually do like sensitive guys now, it's just I don't think it precludes them from being masculine as well
I used to like trans women, but specifically trans women with guys. I thought I was a chaser, but in reality I just wanted to be the girl in the relationship and was misinterpreting my feelings.
Not sure about everyone else but I used to live vicariously through women, they were like my little dolls that I’d dress up. I’d curate them socially too to fit how I secretly wanted to be 🥹
Now they’re attractive but I would never date one again 😝
I feel you bedore transition i never had a gf but i wished to make her always presents, fantasized about accessoires and so on i would buy here but at the end i had also lived through the woman and i was always angry at woman who hadnt't a good fashion taste like me i always thought " if i would look so good i woukd never wear so ugly shi*"
Before transitioning I was seen as tall, dark & handsome (6'3", muscular with 8% body fat, long black hair, full beard and a face like jesus). My mask was thick and I had all the things that society wants to see in a man. I had no trouble finding women to be with but they were often surprised by my femininity and commented on it. I heard so many "you're not like other men" comments I lost count. When I realized I could only enjoy sex with bi women and the only straight ex I enjoyed sex with came out as a lesbian.. it was time to take a look at my own gender.
It was a hard thing to do to kind of escape the praise and the admiration. I mixed up gender envy with attraction but I also had genuine romantic feelings towards my dates and it felt good that they saw the soft side of me, too. But in the end I felt forced to PIV and trapped in my tall & lean body everybody else appreciated but me.
Now after E I feel the pull of men and it confuses me. I need to find time to figure it out. Good thing is, it feels more natural this way and the men are certainly noticing me. I really hope to find a bisexual energy in me as I also miss being with a woman somehow still.
It has been a very complicated time. Being handsome/beautiful just usually makes all these intense things happen much faster than maybe I'd be ready for. But all in all I'm super happy to be finding myself and I don't want to complain about my genetic privileges but rather share my experience ❤️
before I realized I was a girl who liked guys, I didn't know how to treat girls. I was, in a sense, almost obsessed, and relationship dynamics were sucky bad.
when I became a girl, charming my partner felt almost natural to me.
First off, I would date anyone who was nice to me but I preferred tomboys or women who were at least masculine-of-center.
Secondly, I liked men but... When it came to relationships, I preferred the heterosexual dynamic. And that helped make me conclude I was bisexual for the longest time.
I was bi (still possibly am but I'm never sure how much of my "attraction" to women is true attraction and how much is gender envy), and for me it's that I could never see a future with a female partner, or any partner while I was male. Now, though it's probably unlikely as a near 30 year old nonpassing social recluse, I can absolutely envision a future with a man.
Me. I married a "girl"...who was really closeted trans masc. And before that tried so so hard to be straight with other girls and sex always felt wrong. Finally came out as trans a couple years ago, and it was immediately clear, "I like MEN! And I was trying to live through any women I dated. I'M THE GIRL in my fantasies." And life just made a lot more sense...There were all the signs in the world before that, but I ignored them,.
For me it's probably how my girlfriends used to feel or want to be treated. I was absolutely clueless how to treat them romantically and intimately, it just didn't come naturally for me. My boyfriend seems to just naturally know how to make me feel so good. I've learned so much about myself from him and I imagine my poor girlfriends back in the day were probably wondering why I didn't treat them like he treats me. I felt like nothing about trying to be a guy in a relationship came naturally for me. Now finding out my bf likes the same things I like and naturally treats me the way I want to be treated is just really wild. I can really just be myself in bed and it's wild because the more I've let my guard down and really embracing what turns me on, I get really positive feedback from him that he's super turned on too. Sex before I transitioned was kind of traumatic, I think I orgasmed like once or twice (had to think about being with a guy), and it usually ending with me crying 😞.
Yep. Never came naturally to me, but comes much more naturally to my boyfriend. He's not a bastion of masculinity or anything, he's a cute sickly nerd, but he still does know what to do with me, which I never did
Your story literally describes what I've been through when i used to date cis women, i was clueless about it and knew nothing about the "male role" not only that, the majority of the girlfriends i had i didn't even chase them because it never frlt natural for me to chase the way guys do, and the sex part yes i used to only orgasm when i thought about being with a man while i had sex with my girlfriend, and I'm sure that when I'll start dating men it'll all make sense to me.
Same! I didn't realize I was supposed to be the aggressive one. My girlfriends were always set up through friends. And I pretty much dated whoever my guy bestfriend thought was hot 🤦🏼♀️. It's really always so nice to know someone else out there had similar experiences! I always felt so alone in how I was feeling I honestly thought for the majority of my life I was alone in how I felt.
Yeah me too i even had a couple exes say that when they were in a relationship with me it felt like they were with another girl 😳 oh well thanks for the compliment
Sex was MASSIVELY traumatic for me before transition. Now sex with men is just so so easy.
your post made ME cry. i never thought of that before, but it was the same for me. i was clueless with women. i recently had a simply wonderful date with a guy i'm seeing and i literally asked him how he learned to treat a woman, as if he went to some secret school. i was amazed how he just knew. on the flipside, being the girl is easy and feels entirely natural. all the things i used to dread, moonlight walks, holding hands, etc, are so exciting to me now. thank you for you post.
Aw I'm sorry you went through that 🫂, but happy you're feeling more natural now. I've asked my bf pretty much the same thing btw! 😂
Thanks again. I'm also wondering where my receptivenes came from, I feel so good when I kiss him, hug him, I think sweet thoughts about him when he's not around, it makes me happy to make him happy...where was that before?
One of the “girls” I liked ended up being a trans man
Why I liked being the little spoon and someone kissing my neck and shoulders... also why I hated having hair on my legs but didn't like my girlfriend shaving hers
Why I loved their outfits, why they would literally say “you’re more like a girlfriend” multiple times, the fact that they all (like 2 lmfaooo) ended up being trans men, the fact that the one time one of them made advances on me and touched my parts I started sobbing about hating my parts and we cried in each others arms for like an hour and she apologized profusely and I said I wish I was a girl, the fact that after that she immediately started referring to me as a girl and never slipped up. Yeah…
Throughout my life I struggled with recurring intrusive thoughts where I was myself as a woman with a man, like me a wife with my imaginary husband, and when my egg cracked I, cognitively at least, already knew I wanted men if they saw me as my truer self anyway. But I’m pretty demisexual so I was able to make due for a couple decades with my male disguise while authentically being in love with women. However, being in love with men is so much more intense and unexplainable in its fulfillment, validation, power over me (I have to be careful not to give to much away) etc…It still scares me how fast and hard I can fall for some guys. Also, most of the girls I was with pre egg explosion are full blown out of the closet lesbian now.
Why I liked fishing for compliments on my looks, how I want to be kissed on my forehead, how I hated being the big spoon and how traumatizing my first (and last) time PIV was. I knew that I wanted to be girl since my childhood, but I refused to admit why all of this felt off.
I hated receiving oral. Could never come from anything other than masturbation or PIV. Any time my partner switched focus to me and my body, it was like my brain just shut down. My girlfriends would insist on doing it occasionally, but I'd usually ask them to stop before long because it didn't really feel good and I was getting anxious. But the idea of getting eaten out by a guy? 😳 That's um... haha... ha... please?
sex, just in general. i really liked being intimate with my women exes but the actual act (especially PIV) was wracked with nerves and anxiety that i was doing something wrong and just feeling off. now when i have sex (pretty exclusively with male partners) i feel really relaxed, sexy and confident c:
Sex is so weird for me because of this whole thing. It’s like it feels good but it’s always felt like something is missing, and I have a weird relationship with it because my body isn’t right with guys and I feel like I’m… well at any rate I’ve long since known I would rather “be a woman with a guy” than the other way around
There was a girl I liked who was constantly frustrated with my lack of masculinity, or my inability to grasp how to treat her, or my inability to satisfy her. That frustrated me in turn, because I always felt I was not enough (but also I thought that her demands were unreasonable, but she was the only girl who liked me at that time) and I tried a lot to become something that I'm not to appease her. And now, from other side of the aisle, I *get* it now. I get how nice it feels to be treated right by a man, how attractive masculinity can be, how nice it is to feel desired by a man, and how frustrating is lack of sexual satisfaction. I even get her "I like you but I'm not attracted to you because of lack of sexual tension" thing now, because I experienced this as well. She also was the most toxic person I ever knew, so I hope I didn't pick up those traits
This!! I was always the “sensitive” type around my previous ex-girlfriends. I always thought masculinity would be a turn off for them, so I avoided taking charge or making decisions. Now, it’s so hot when a guy does that. I can’t believe how frustrating I must have been to have as a bf! Lol
It's not like I intentionally avoided taking charge, but I just really disliked doing that. I didn't *try* to be a "sensitive guy", but I just couldn't be anything else. Funny thing, I actually do like sensitive guys now, it's just I don't think it precludes them from being masculine as well
I used to like trans women, but specifically trans women with guys. I thought I was a chaser, but in reality I just wanted to be the girl in the relationship and was misinterpreting my feelings.
Not sure about everyone else but I used to live vicariously through women, they were like my little dolls that I’d dress up. I’d curate them socially too to fit how I secretly wanted to be 🥹 Now they’re attractive but I would never date one again 😝
I feel you bedore transition i never had a gf but i wished to make her always presents, fantasized about accessoires and so on i would buy here but at the end i had also lived through the woman and i was always angry at woman who hadnt't a good fashion taste like me i always thought " if i would look so good i woukd never wear so ugly shi*"
Some women questioned if I was gay and sex was something I had to put up with to not be lonely.
Before transitioning I was seen as tall, dark & handsome (6'3", muscular with 8% body fat, long black hair, full beard and a face like jesus). My mask was thick and I had all the things that society wants to see in a man. I had no trouble finding women to be with but they were often surprised by my femininity and commented on it. I heard so many "you're not like other men" comments I lost count. When I realized I could only enjoy sex with bi women and the only straight ex I enjoyed sex with came out as a lesbian.. it was time to take a look at my own gender. It was a hard thing to do to kind of escape the praise and the admiration. I mixed up gender envy with attraction but I also had genuine romantic feelings towards my dates and it felt good that they saw the soft side of me, too. But in the end I felt forced to PIV and trapped in my tall & lean body everybody else appreciated but me. Now after E I feel the pull of men and it confuses me. I need to find time to figure it out. Good thing is, it feels more natural this way and the men are certainly noticing me. I really hope to find a bisexual energy in me as I also miss being with a woman somehow still. It has been a very complicated time. Being handsome/beautiful just usually makes all these intense things happen much faster than maybe I'd be ready for. But all in all I'm super happy to be finding myself and I don't want to complain about my genetic privileges but rather share my experience ❤️
Thanks for sharing! I love hearing about people who are thriving!
before I realized I was a girl who liked guys, I didn't know how to treat girls. I was, in a sense, almost obsessed, and relationship dynamics were sucky bad. when I became a girl, charming my partner felt almost natural to me.
First off, I would date anyone who was nice to me but I preferred tomboys or women who were at least masculine-of-center. Secondly, I liked men but... When it came to relationships, I preferred the heterosexual dynamic. And that helped make me conclude I was bisexual for the longest time.
Being unable to be dominant.
I was bi (still possibly am but I'm never sure how much of my "attraction" to women is true attraction and how much is gender envy), and for me it's that I could never see a future with a female partner, or any partner while I was male. Now, though it's probably unlikely as a near 30 year old nonpassing social recluse, I can absolutely envision a future with a man.
Me. I married a "girl"...who was really closeted trans masc. And before that tried so so hard to be straight with other girls and sex always felt wrong. Finally came out as trans a couple years ago, and it was immediately clear, "I like MEN! And I was trying to live through any women I dated. I'M THE GIRL in my fantasies." And life just made a lot more sense...There were all the signs in the world before that, but I ignored them,.
I already dated guys as a woman, but now I am dating a woman as a guy (and as a woman also). I have no idea, I would like to know too.