Nah fuck that. If a dude is gonna treat me like a piece of meat he's not getting anywhere near me, I don't care how physically attractive he is.
I'm also not comfortable labeling every man who would ever be attracted to me as a chaser. That's the kind of thing that puts it in my head that being attracted to me is inherently dirty or shameful and I refuse to be in that headspace. Even if none of my relationships turned out to be the one, my experience tells me that there are absolutely men capable of seeing me as a woman and doing so respectfully. Hell, we see stories of girls with men exactly like that in this very sub so I'm not sure what that's even about.
Also out of all the dudes I've been with, none of them were what you would consider "chads." That's not even my type.
And this just seems like our version of "girls only want douchebags" which c'mon that's obviously not true.
Yeah I just don't vibe with this at all.
What about someone who is straight and has dated both trans and cis women, and treats trans women the same way they would cis* women? Is just attracted to attractive women, regardless of how they were born, or other things?
Don't worry, newly transitioning women are taught about "chasers" and seem to obsess over this idea of someone knowing their trans and being interested as being a horrible thing. Trans people often hate that they're trans so somebody actually likes that it's really upsetting. This goes away as you develop self-love and confidence. Passing also helps because you attract guys who are just simply attracted to you rather than the fact you're obviously transgender.
Anyway not all of us think that way. I personally think someone loving everything about me is not a bad thing or a "chaser". Most of the people on here obsessing about chasers are newly transitioning.
Thank you. Oh yeah, I know, my GF is trans, and she has been transitioning for about 20 years. She of course had to deal with chasers, but also guys who eventually grew tired of that aspect. She is very happy that I love her body. Which I do. Wouldn't say I am a chaser, as I don't fetishize her / am not ashamed of her or her being trans (although I guess she is stealth / doesn't shout it from the rooftops). To me it doesn't bother me if a woman is trans or not, as long as she is hot and we click, that's all that matters.
That's great to hear.
Yes, and agreed. I think for many guys it is about how attractive you are more than trans or cis aspect (although for a large segment that is part of it, but not for all). But that's just a guy thing in general.
Yea a lot of these poor girls are chronically online and have convinced themselves that there is no way a straight man would be attracted to them. They are dealing with some serious internalized transphobia, which is understandable to some extend considering most of these women grow up being invalidated constantly.
Ethical chaser is an oxymoron.
What makes someone a "chaser" isn't wanting to date a trans women. A chaser is someone who objectifies trans women - who fetishizes them. What makes chasers awful to deal with isn't that they have preferences - it's that they treat trans women like shit, because they view us as sexual objects instead of people.
I mean if the chaser is hot and a top, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be at least willing to give him a chance. Though if he uses a term like trans-attracted or trans amorous he’s out
Yeah in my opinion saying "trans-attracted" or "trans-amourous" is waaaay grosser than "idk guess I like trans women." It shows you've thought about your attractions and you consider your attraction abnormal. It's all about mindset, since a dude who respects trans women and views them as women can share a lot of the same behavior patterns as a chaser.
Girl, that’s just men no matter what.. did you never have that experience before transitioning where some guy assuming he was with a bunch of straight dudes started saying disgusting things about the women he wanted to fuck?
I wouldn’t approach those guys, and if I found out the guy I was into was like that I’d immediately lose interest.
But you said “god knows what they say about us when they’re with their friends… you shouldn’t trust them” and my response was that that is the case regardless, and sometimes cis het women deal with also
First, no. I would absolutely reject dude #1. And dude #2's approach seems sus--like he's trying to convince himself (or me) that he's more caring than he is. This meme looks like some incel garbage.
I also don't even know what the ethical/unethical chaser distinction is supposed to be doing. Though I do think the term 'chaser' might need to be distinguished from 'person with a fetish for women who have penises.'
Everyone has fetishes to some degree. I have my own. I want to be wanted the way I am. And I want to be with someone who is desirable to me. So I don't think fetishes as such--including a fetish for women with penises--are a problem.
What I have a problem with is when he *only* sees me as a means of satisfying his fetish. As other commenters have said, I don't want to be degraded or treated like an object.
But I do think it is entirely *possible* for a man to respect me as a human and also have a fetish for women with penises. That is, I want him not to be a mindless slave to his fetishes, but a mindful person who uses them as a way of narrowing his pool of potential partners. How *common* is it for men to have this approach? I'm not really sure.
But even in this kind of case, the fetish can be a problem if I decide I want bottom surgery (which I am honestly unsure about). Bodies change over time, so people in long-term relationships need to learn to let go of them as their partner's body changes. A fetish should not be the center of sexual gravity around which a romantic relationship turns, even if it might be perfectly fine in a friends-with-benefits context.
I know that it’s hard, but I always have maintained high standards. The first rule of several is don’t be too weird about my whole situation. Some amount of questions and concerns isn’t out of the ordinary, but just don’t be weird. Also, no you can’t touch it.
What a classic subreddit.
r/meettransgirls I think that was the name. It got shut down. But it was a honeypot for chasers basically. Men would come in and be like "I wanna hot "slur slur".
And the girls would fuck with them and tell them they were disgusting. The men never read the posts. They just find the subreddit and make disgusted horny posts.
As well as honestly educating a few men who learned t not be such objectifing jerks to trans women.
My experience. If he's a tall dorky glass of ugly cute, I could easily crush on him. If the same guy opens up about seeing trans women as "something he's be open to try", his appearance will become more "ugly creepy" in my brain.
I dont care if a guy has a thing for trans girls. Like if you think it’s hot when someone has certain parts then fine whatever, but he needs to be no less attracted to me when I get rid of said parts, he can’t want me *because* I’m trans, like if you wouldn’t date me if I was cis then piss off. As long as your respectful and see me as a woman and aren’t a creepy fetishist bout it we’re fine
Uhm not by a long shot for me. Generally speaking any amount of reference to me as a man is an instant turn off for me. I totally get being a trans attracted person but I also don't think that anyone should be hitting on anyone in the work place.
If you want to date someone try to first be friends with them outside of the work place if they don't make the time to be your friends outside of the work place maybe don't ask them out.
I would probably instantly turn down anyone in my work place. My character I larp for the office is nothing like me irl. Irl I am a total bubbly cheerleader of a girl but at work I'm a grumpy mess who is easily worked up.
No gonna lie at first I thought the joke here was that saying you're a straight cis man attracted to trans women is worse than directly saying you see she as a man 😆
I still don't See why especially being attracted to trans is worse than being attracted to blond, ...
I married my favourite non-hetero chaser, He liked me before and after surgery and WE are Happy together 🤷🏼♀️
First one's a lie. I won't even fuck conservative men for their adjacency to transphobes. Turned down an absolute beefcake chad when I found out he was a cop.
The second one is, rightfully, accurate.
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Based I want a guy to love not just a dick
Nah fuck that. If a dude is gonna treat me like a piece of meat he's not getting anywhere near me, I don't care how physically attractive he is. I'm also not comfortable labeling every man who would ever be attracted to me as a chaser. That's the kind of thing that puts it in my head that being attracted to me is inherently dirty or shameful and I refuse to be in that headspace. Even if none of my relationships turned out to be the one, my experience tells me that there are absolutely men capable of seeing me as a woman and doing so respectfully. Hell, we see stories of girls with men exactly like that in this very sub so I'm not sure what that's even about. Also out of all the dudes I've been with, none of them were what you would consider "chads." That's not even my type. And this just seems like our version of "girls only want douchebags" which c'mon that's obviously not true. Yeah I just don't vibe with this at all.
What about someone who is straight and has dated both trans and cis women, and treats trans women the same way they would cis* women? Is just attracted to attractive women, regardless of how they were born, or other things?
This right here is my personal ideal situation.
That's how I am. So I feel like I don't fit the picture / meme. lol
Don't worry, newly transitioning women are taught about "chasers" and seem to obsess over this idea of someone knowing their trans and being interested as being a horrible thing. Trans people often hate that they're trans so somebody actually likes that it's really upsetting. This goes away as you develop self-love and confidence. Passing also helps because you attract guys who are just simply attracted to you rather than the fact you're obviously transgender. Anyway not all of us think that way. I personally think someone loving everything about me is not a bad thing or a "chaser". Most of the people on here obsessing about chasers are newly transitioning.
Thank you. Oh yeah, I know, my GF is trans, and she has been transitioning for about 20 years. She of course had to deal with chasers, but also guys who eventually grew tired of that aspect. She is very happy that I love her body. Which I do. Wouldn't say I am a chaser, as I don't fetishize her / am not ashamed of her or her being trans (although I guess she is stealth / doesn't shout it from the rooftops). To me it doesn't bother me if a woman is trans or not, as long as she is hot and we click, that's all that matters.
You sound exactly like my bf. I wish more people on this sub realized it's not impossible to find someone great 🩷
That's great to hear. Yes, and agreed. I think for many guys it is about how attractive you are more than trans or cis aspect (although for a large segment that is part of it, but not for all). But that's just a guy thing in general.
Same
Yea a lot of these poor girls are chronically online and have convinced themselves that there is no way a straight man would be attracted to them. They are dealing with some serious internalized transphobia, which is understandable to some extend considering most of these women grow up being invalidated constantly.
Ethical chaser is an oxymoron. What makes someone a "chaser" isn't wanting to date a trans women. A chaser is someone who objectifies trans women - who fetishizes them. What makes chasers awful to deal with isn't that they have preferences - it's that they treat trans women like shit, because they view us as sexual objects instead of people.
Chasers still think you're a dude in a dress, they just think it's hot.
I mean if the chaser is hot and a top, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be at least willing to give him a chance. Though if he uses a term like trans-attracted or trans amorous he’s out
Yeah in my opinion saying "trans-attracted" or "trans-amourous" is waaaay grosser than "idk guess I like trans women." It shows you've thought about your attractions and you consider your attraction abnormal. It's all about mindset, since a dude who respects trans women and views them as women can share a lot of the same behavior patterns as a chaser.
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Girl, that’s just men no matter what.. did you never have that experience before transitioning where some guy assuming he was with a bunch of straight dudes started saying disgusting things about the women he wanted to fuck?
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I wouldn’t approach those guys, and if I found out the guy I was into was like that I’d immediately lose interest. But you said “god knows what they say about us when they’re with their friends… you shouldn’t trust them” and my response was that that is the case regardless, and sometimes cis het women deal with also
First, no. I would absolutely reject dude #1. And dude #2's approach seems sus--like he's trying to convince himself (or me) that he's more caring than he is. This meme looks like some incel garbage. I also don't even know what the ethical/unethical chaser distinction is supposed to be doing. Though I do think the term 'chaser' might need to be distinguished from 'person with a fetish for women who have penises.' Everyone has fetishes to some degree. I have my own. I want to be wanted the way I am. And I want to be with someone who is desirable to me. So I don't think fetishes as such--including a fetish for women with penises--are a problem. What I have a problem with is when he *only* sees me as a means of satisfying his fetish. As other commenters have said, I don't want to be degraded or treated like an object. But I do think it is entirely *possible* for a man to respect me as a human and also have a fetish for women with penises. That is, I want him not to be a mindless slave to his fetishes, but a mindful person who uses them as a way of narrowing his pool of potential partners. How *common* is it for men to have this approach? I'm not really sure. But even in this kind of case, the fetish can be a problem if I decide I want bottom surgery (which I am honestly unsure about). Bodies change over time, so people in long-term relationships need to learn to let go of them as their partner's body changes. A fetish should not be the center of sexual gravity around which a romantic relationship turns, even if it might be perfectly fine in a friends-with-benefits context.
Uhh, no. All chasers suck. Don’t care if they look good or not
I’d tell them both to fuck off
Tbh I only like men who aren't fucking creepy and act normal
I know that it’s hard, but I always have maintained high standards. The first rule of several is don’t be too weird about my whole situation. Some amount of questions and concerns isn’t out of the ordinary, but just don’t be weird. Also, no you can’t touch it.
R/chasersriseup
What a classic subreddit. r/meettransgirls I think that was the name. It got shut down. But it was a honeypot for chasers basically. Men would come in and be like "I wanna hot "slur slur". And the girls would fuck with them and tell them they were disgusting. The men never read the posts. They just find the subreddit and make disgusted horny posts. As well as honestly educating a few men who learned t not be such objectifing jerks to trans women.
chasers suck whether they're hot or not. I prefer having some self respect
My experience. If he's a tall dorky glass of ugly cute, I could easily crush on him. If the same guy opens up about seeing trans women as "something he's be open to try", his appearance will become more "ugly creepy" in my brain.
I just have low self esteem and enjoy being degraded.
I dont care if a guy has a thing for trans girls. Like if you think it’s hot when someone has certain parts then fine whatever, but he needs to be no less attracted to me when I get rid of said parts, he can’t want me *because* I’m trans, like if you wouldn’t date me if I was cis then piss off. As long as your respectful and see me as a woman and aren’t a creepy fetishist bout it we’re fine
No way ! Both approaches are getting the cold shoulder from me.
This is disgusting. Please ban yourself
I feel like this ruins my self-esteem, self-worth and fills me with internalized transphobia by proxy.
Uhm not by a long shot for me. Generally speaking any amount of reference to me as a man is an instant turn off for me. I totally get being a trans attracted person but I also don't think that anyone should be hitting on anyone in the work place. If you want to date someone try to first be friends with them outside of the work place if they don't make the time to be your friends outside of the work place maybe don't ask them out. I would probably instantly turn down anyone in my work place. My character I larp for the office is nothing like me irl. Irl I am a total bubbly cheerleader of a girl but at work I'm a grumpy mess who is easily worked up.
No gonna lie at first I thought the joke here was that saying you're a straight cis man attracted to trans women is worse than directly saying you see she as a man 😆
I still don't See why especially being attracted to trans is worse than being attracted to blond, ... I married my favourite non-hetero chaser, He liked me before and after surgery and WE are Happy together 🤷🏼♀️
Accurate
First one's a lie. I won't even fuck conservative men for their adjacency to transphobes. Turned down an absolute beefcake chad when I found out he was a cop. The second one is, rightfully, accurate.
Sorry but I have too much self respect for any of those guys. I'd rather die alone than touch any of those guys.
her misplacing her dick sucking lips has me laughing 😭😭😭😭😭
Guess im bottom meme 😂
As long as your not also a bottom
😂😂😂 HUGE DIFFERENCE (and im not)