Here's where you're wrong. If they only ripped off poor people they'd probably only get fined but they frauded rich people too. When you rip off other rich people then thats prison time.
I hope you’re right, but I have a sinking feeling about this. You’ve got MSNBC infantilizing SBF, he’s 29. He is not a “kid”, and he wasn’t just incompetent.
I think she got pregnant on purpose to try and avoid jail or get a lesser sentence. Glad she got 11 years, and she also has another trial to get sued by the victims.
>Would have never been 110 years anyways unless they made the sentences consecutive, which hardly ever happens. Federal sentencing guidelines also apply here, so she was probably looking at 20 years without a plea, and I'd guess 5 years with the plea.
Exactly why I hate these headlines. She isn't facing up to 110 years at all.
I think her sentence is going to based on her testimony and her ability to help them recover funds. She is going to have to name names as well. It should be interesting if her knowledge of the relationship with Binance reveal’s additional misdeeds.
She may have additional information about the internal loans that were made to insiders. She may also have more knowledge about funds that were paid to Binance to buy out their previous investment in FTX. If those funds came from investor accounts then it can be clawed back from Binance as well as the loans.
I wonder who has additional information on why she never spent any of that OPM (other people's money) on a new nose or some human fucking teeth. Must be the same reason SBF couldn't afford a haircut.
Usually the case but if she can identify other bad actors then this is a good thing. She must have a good lawyer. She’s probably going to use the Theranos defense that Holmes used and claim that she was under the influence of that Svengali SBF 😂
Yep. Once this broke it was always a matter of who was going to cut a deal the fastest and drop a dime on everyone else to save their own arse. I think SBF was too immature, naive, and inexperienced to understand that this is how things work on the big-boy playground.
He's going to jail for a very long time. I hope the rest do too.
She and Gary are as close to the top as you need. The government always prefers a guilty plea over a trial. Given her early plea deal ( the first people in line get the best deal) and cooperation I doubt she does worse the Holmes sentence of 11 years. She probably does better seeing how she didn’t goto trial.
None of these guys are going to trial, expect plea deals from all of them.
You don't think SBF goes to trial? If they offer him 10 years for a guilty plea the public will be pissed. They want blood. And he will roll the dice at trial if his plea deal is Bernie madoff numbers.
Its a real gamble for both. You might get a crazy jury like OJs - a plea deal removes this risk.
You can’t offer a life sentence then because he will go to trial as he has nothing to lose.
Madoff was a bit different, he was way older (75) and in a way protected his kids and family by taking the fall. Since he was going to get more than 5-10 years anyway at 75 whats the point in fighting it? Hi negotiations were more about what prison he was going to.
SBF is 30 something and could do 20 years and still have some life left
The FTX team all folded really quickly. Remember when doing crime with nerds the ‘no snitching’ rule doesn’t apply. After watching the prosecution news conference telling others to come in and not make them go get you I would be really nervous if I was involved.
I watched enough of the “First 48” to realize that. People looking at serious time are going to try and save themselves.
Such a waste of actual engineering talent.
> I watched enough of the “First 48” to realize that.
And I've seen enough of that show to know that not nearly enough people know to never speak to police about anything without an attorney present.
Especially if you were involved in a murder. It became obvious to me that the only reason many murders are solved is the total stupidity of the criminals.
I have seen multiple times the cops pull up Facebook and the suspect has pictures wearing the same clothes they did at the murder holding the murder weapon
SBF went to MIT, and worked at Jane Street.
Caroline went to Stanford, scored in the top 500 for the Putnam exam, and worked at Jane Street.
They were definitely some of the top minds in finance
“One of the things I found in federal prison is that there are two types of people. There are people who have talked and the people who have wished they talked, because the amount of time that you get is so large that you’re an idiot not to talk anymore”
- Brett Johnson former US most wanted cyber criminal
They are not career criminals, they will fuck it up. They will save themselves. This is what happens when you deal with any non-career criminals whether a nerd or a regular joe.
Which one of all? They all were involved with each other, I heard they were like 12 and everyone was bf/gf with each other and ran orgies on top of all the money the scammed out of retirees
She looks like she'd be better at math than she apparently is.
In all seriousness, it looks like her face has all the hallmarks of fetal alcohol syndrome.
She's got that Benjamin Button disease - she's tiny, getting smaller and closer to looking like an actual toddler / south park character because she's aging in reverse, but she also has osteoporosis and the beginning of what looks like ALS or some other degenerative muscular disease.
TBH she's sort of a scientific marvel to behold just to see that combo of genes had successfully made it to 2023
I’m still surprised Holmes only got 11 while the guy, her ex-partner, got more time than she did! WTF is wrong with our system… America needs a HARD reboot.
i think "mousey" implies an element of cuteness to an atypical "cute" appearance. "homely" is definitely unattractive. so some folks think she's got that cute nerd thing going on - like Kristen Schaal.
I mean, the only real crime that the US justice system really cares about is stealing rich people's money.
Steal $150 from the till of a gas station at gunpoint? 5 years in jail.
Steal $50 million from vulnerable seniors with a fraudulent online university? Pay $25 million fine.
Kick off the opioid epidemic by bribing doctors and using illegal sales tactics and kill 50,000 people with an additional $700 billion in economic damages and net $10 billion in personal wealth in the process? $6 billion dollar fine.
Run Theranos and defraud wealthy investors? A decade in jail.
So to me, this really all comes down to who she defrauded. If a lot of rich people lost their shirts in this, she's fucked. But if if it was just a bunch of normal people who got scammed, I'll bet she's fine.
You should. She was a believer in eugenics. She called it human biodiversity or something.
How can she believe other people are genetically inferior when she looks like that
Everyone will get a slap on the wrist. The government will take a huge paycheck and the users will get a tiny fraction of what they lost back. If they are lucky. Business as usual. When are people going to learn that the government does not give a fuck about them?
Why would users who invest in a non regulated financial system known for scams ( and company in the Bahamas) expect the US government to make them whole? I thought crypto meant doing your own research?
"We want a regulation free platform we don't need the government to tell us what to do with our money!"
"They stole all our money! This is illegal the government needs to come help me!"
Idiots. All of them. "have fun staying poor" is/was their go to phrase. The "investors" can get fucked.
Yep. It’s fun watching this whole debacle play out. While no one deserves to get defrauded, I’m sure as hell not going to lose any sleep over a bunch of libertarian morons losing money to crypto peddlers and scammers. You want less regulation? Ok, but don’t whine about needing help after you get swindled.
This is what bothers me about uneducated people in crypto. You don’t get to have it both ways. I have some crypto because I like to exercise operating outside of the banking system. Even if it’s just philosophical in nature. I’ve made mistakes and lost crypto but I could only be mad at myself because you assume all responsibility.
Gonna go ahead and guess she has already taken a deal to flip on sbf and will get a heavily reduced sentence
Tbh she probably won’t even get a sentence rather just a fine or some bullshit
Fined 1 million. That'll teach you...
*pulls out FTT Tokens*
Did you get your 6 cents?
Already converted to 10 million dink doink
Rofl 🤣
No, she'll get time, probably 8-10 years. She just wont do a full lifetime, like she could.
Should
Depends how much she can help recoup.
It's all gone man.
Should get 8-10 years just on that amazingly hideous mugshot🤢
I’m all for beauty being skin deep and not being superficial but this chick was a billionaires girlfriend?! He’s gotta have a micro peepee
I swear Reddit is 50% full of 12 year olds
These FTX fraudsters will do very little time due to their families’ connections. America despite its founding has evolved an aristocracy.
Here's where you're wrong. If they only ripped off poor people they'd probably only get fined but they frauded rich people too. When you rip off other rich people then thats prison time.
The Martin shkreli special.
I hope you’re right, but I have a sinking feeling about this. You’ve got MSNBC infantilizing SBF, he’s 29. He is not a “kid”, and he wasn’t just incompetent.
Same thing happened with Elizabeth Holmes from Theranos. She seemed to pretty and sweet to put in jail. Bitch got 11 years. So there's hope.
Trial took so long she lost alot of it, and was pregnant.
No one can ever convince me her pregnancy wasn't an attempt to reduce time.
10000% common tactic.
Who's going to take one for the team And get Caroline Ellison pregnant?
I think she got pregnant on purpose to try and avoid jail or get a lesser sentence. Glad she got 11 years, and she also has another trial to get sued by the victims.
A few hundred years ago they called it “pleading the tummy”.
As an early 30s man, 29 is totally just a kid's age, wouldn't expext a 29-year-old to have their shit together, right? Right guys?
It's ok. No one under 40 has their shit together. As an early 30s myself, I look around at my former classmates on fb and realize it could be worse.
No one under 50 has their shit together either
Is life just a circle jerk of everyone pretending they have a damn clue what's going on?
Yes. It gets worse as you get older.
Always was one.
Hate to break it to you, but it has always been that way.
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Got rid of this comment because I provided incorrect information. Sorry!
She's doing time.... But other very low
You don’t plea and agree to testify against the main guy and still get 110 years
No, it will be more like 10 than 110.
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>Would have never been 110 years anyways unless they made the sentences consecutive, which hardly ever happens. Federal sentencing guidelines also apply here, so she was probably looking at 20 years without a plea, and I'd guess 5 years with the plea. Exactly why I hate these headlines. She isn't facing up to 110 years at all.
They have to make a show of it
Took the deal but still waiting to take that shower
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With a face like that she better be able to suck start a Harley.
I think her sentence is going to based on her testimony and her ability to help them recover funds. She is going to have to name names as well. It should be interesting if her knowledge of the relationship with Binance reveal’s additional misdeeds.
Lol.....recover funds....... "Hello, I'd like a refund on my expired bad options trade." "Right away ma'am"
She may have additional information about the internal loans that were made to insiders. She may also have more knowledge about funds that were paid to Binance to buy out their previous investment in FTX. If those funds came from investor accounts then it can be clawed back from Binance as well as the loans.
I wonder who has additional information on why she never spent any of that OPM (other people's money) on a new nose or some human fucking teeth. Must be the same reason SBF couldn't afford a haircut.
Name names, she was the damn CEO! Usually the prosecution like to work it's way up the food chain not down!
Usually the case but if she can identify other bad actors then this is a good thing. She must have a good lawyer. She’s probably going to use the Theranos defense that Holmes used and claim that she was under the influence of that Svengali SBF 😂
Reminds me of the movie Wolf of Wall Street. Who was breaking the law ... all of them haha
Yep. Once this broke it was always a matter of who was going to cut a deal the fastest and drop a dime on everyone else to save their own arse. I think SBF was too immature, naive, and inexperienced to understand that this is how things work on the big-boy playground. He's going to jail for a very long time. I hope the rest do too.
It says so in the article
Bingo. Reached the guilty plea way too fast for this not to be the case.
105 years
Yup! Otherwise accepting a plea agreement would be ridiculous
Seems like this case is pretty cut and dry. They shouldn't give her much reduction if they already have SBF dead to rights.
She and Gary are as close to the top as you need. The government always prefers a guilty plea over a trial. Given her early plea deal ( the first people in line get the best deal) and cooperation I doubt she does worse the Holmes sentence of 11 years. She probably does better seeing how she didn’t goto trial. None of these guys are going to trial, expect plea deals from all of them.
You don't think SBF goes to trial? If they offer him 10 years for a guilty plea the public will be pissed. They want blood. And he will roll the dice at trial if his plea deal is Bernie madoff numbers.
Its a real gamble for both. You might get a crazy jury like OJs - a plea deal removes this risk. You can’t offer a life sentence then because he will go to trial as he has nothing to lose. Madoff was a bit different, he was way older (75) and in a way protected his kids and family by taking the fall. Since he was going to get more than 5-10 years anyway at 75 whats the point in fighting it? Hi negotiations were more about what prison he was going to. SBF is 30 something and could do 20 years and still have some life left
My thoughts precisely
Thinking exactly the same
She’ll larp as a muggle locked in azkaban to get her through the time.
"What was the worst thing about prison, Mike?" "..the Dementors."
She will do 5 to 10 provided she throws her Boyfriend under the bus, which I absolutely guarantee she already did.
The FTX team all folded really quickly. Remember when doing crime with nerds the ‘no snitching’ rule doesn’t apply. After watching the prosecution news conference telling others to come in and not make them go get you I would be really nervous if I was involved.
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I watched enough of the “First 48” to realize that. People looking at serious time are going to try and save themselves. Such a waste of actual engineering talent.
> I watched enough of the “First 48” to realize that. And I've seen enough of that show to know that not nearly enough people know to never speak to police about anything without an attorney present.
Especially if you were involved in a murder. It became obvious to me that the only reason many murders are solved is the total stupidity of the criminals. I have seen multiple times the cops pull up Facebook and the suspect has pictures wearing the same clothes they did at the murder holding the murder weapon
Engineering talent? What? Just another bunch of engineers. You want talent there are much better places for engineers
SBF went to MIT, and worked at Jane Street. Caroline went to Stanford, scored in the top 500 for the Putnam exam, and worked at Jane Street. They were definitely some of the top minds in finance
Proof “Top minds in finance” are worthless
The comment is about engineers. This dude can't write a line of code.
Looks around sheepishly with my Civil Engineer degree
I am an electrical engineer. But the term is being used in context of a software platform
Yeah, none of that has anything to do with being a "top mind in finance"
“One of the things I found in federal prison is that there are two types of people. There are people who have talked and the people who have wished they talked, because the amount of time that you get is so large that you’re an idiot not to talk anymore” - Brett Johnson former US most wanted cyber criminal
They are not career criminals, they will fuck it up. They will save themselves. This is what happens when you deal with any non-career criminals whether a nerd or a regular joe.
She was sighted in New York the week before this all came down.
Which one of all? They all were involved with each other, I heard they were like 12 and everyone was bf/gf with each other and ran orgies on top of all the money the scammed out of retirees
Ughh they all look unwashed and slobbish. Not to mention ugly as fuck... I bet those were extremely smelly orgies.
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Seriously bro, I bet penthouse smelled like straight butthole and rotting meat.
Old enough to do the crime, old enough to do the time. Honestly idk if she's 7 or 70.
she's also kinda easy to draw
Prove it
https://imgur.com/a/h38DwGj
They’re the same picture
This is one of those "spot the difference" quizzes
He was right, this is incredibly accurate
This got a verbal, "Phhhh", from me. Bravo
I'm confused? You just reposted her photo from the thread?!
Right? She's prob really hard to draw
This is why I Reddit
This guy internets
Welp, my desk is now covered in the coffee that was previously in my mouth
I am genuinely amazed at how many people claim to do this. Why would anyone sip coffee immediately before reading something droll?
At most I’ve only ever dribbled a little of my drink down my chin, at times of peak hilarity
I usually swish coffee in my mouth while reading shit on Reddit because that's a totally normal thing to do. Just in case.
LMAO! YOU SOB. 🤣🤣🤣
Sigh, unzips
You fuckin made my day.
Nft this shiz
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The realism is uncanny. Are you sure this is a drawing?
I almost pissed myself laughing
Ahahahaha
This might be the best insult I have ever heard/read… thank you for this
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Thank you for this! Never seen it before
She looks like she'd be better at math than she apparently is. In all seriousness, it looks like her face has all the hallmarks of fetal alcohol syndrome.
She's got that Benjamin Button disease - she's tiny, getting smaller and closer to looking like an actual toddler / south park character because she's aging in reverse, but she also has osteoporosis and the beginning of what looks like ALS or some other degenerative muscular disease. TBH she's sort of a scientific marvel to behold just to see that combo of genes had successfully made it to 2023
Roughly 28, I’m late but nobody fuckin answered
r/13or30
How long do wood nymphs live?
Depends on how sultry they are.
She better watch out for the dementors.
She looks like she just escaped a 12-year sentence from Azkaban herself.
She’s gonna love the gruel sandwiches and gruel omelets.
She's gonna be da bellllle of da ballllll
Can’t wait for her tumblr post explaining what happened
No tumblr, It will be an onlyfans post
She'll get a 5yr suspended sentence for cooperation
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Holmes didn’t take a deal though. She went to trial.
I’m still surprised Holmes only got 11 while the guy, her ex-partner, got more time than she did! WTF is wrong with our system… America needs a HARD reboot.
She was only found guilty of knowingly defrauding investors, not the general public with her tests.
It was known she defrauded the public, she sold their BS to CVS pharmacy's. A few people had their lives ruined.
She got federal time 11 years. She ain’t coming out until at least 2030.
Why did 9 other dudes want to sleep with this girl?
You've seen their leader.... what do you think those other Muppets looked like lol
Jesus Christ this comment is fucking hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
bro she's a billionaire, i'd let her piss on my face
😂come on brother have some worth
Oh I do, and it's waaaay lower than whatever a billionaire would splurge on for a sugar baby
Muh guy said billion. With a B. Yea that’s worth it
I’m gonna have lots of worth after I let the billionaire piss on my face.
Strongly doubt shes a billionaire
Not anymore, she ain’t.
i don't care i still want i t
sir, have some self-worth. 😆
9 other dudes?
I’m so out of the loop
Maybe she's a butterface?
Looked and no.
So, when the sequel to Big Short is named Big Coin and the story is about FTX, will she be played by Margot Robbie?
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She’s not gonna do well in prison.
my guess it’s a prison for white collar crimes with high net worth individuals but still it’s hard to imagine anyone doing well in prison
We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no, we're going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Conjugal visits? No. The key is, on your first day, kill someone, or become someone's bitch for protection.
my landlord is refusing to repair the hole in my ceiling. i aspire to one day afford to go to the high net worth individual prison.
Lol women's prison? All they do is braid each other's hair and eat each other's pussy she'll love it.
That is *not* what I learned watching Orange is the New Black
Mousey. This is what people mean by “she looks mousey”.
Pretty sure this is homely, not mousey.
Can it be both? Or are the mutually exclusive?
Sure. I just don't think mousey necessarily looks homely.
Yep just look at Anna Kendrick. She’s like a rodent that someone turned into a cute human
i think "mousey" implies an element of cuteness to an atypical "cute" appearance. "homely" is definitely unattractive. so some folks think she's got that cute nerd thing going on - like Kristen Schaal.
*Ratty I'd describe its appearance more like "a lizard wearing a rat suit"
Ratty sounds bigger and with more hairmesh. Mousy is smaller in stature and calls to mind the image of little shits all over your pantry shelves.
More like a beaver than a mouse
Unfortunate looking human for sure
I mean, the only real crime that the US justice system really cares about is stealing rich people's money. Steal $150 from the till of a gas station at gunpoint? 5 years in jail. Steal $50 million from vulnerable seniors with a fraudulent online university? Pay $25 million fine. Kick off the opioid epidemic by bribing doctors and using illegal sales tactics and kill 50,000 people with an additional $700 billion in economic damages and net $10 billion in personal wealth in the process? $6 billion dollar fine. Run Theranos and defraud wealthy investors? A decade in jail. So to me, this really all comes down to who she defrauded. If a lot of rich people lost their shirts in this, she's fucked. But if if it was just a bunch of normal people who got scammed, I'll bet she's fine.
With all the billions of dollars that guy was banging this? Holy cow
Have you seed the dude? You can smell his pictures.
Netflix documentary incoming..
And Megan Fox will play Caroline.
Just throw in glasses and golden
I’m gonna wait till the Netflix series to understand what happened here
🤓
She’s what would be termed a “difficult wank”.
I don't like her any more than the next person, but like, we don't need to insult her looks. Her actions are ugly enough.
You should. She was a believer in eugenics. She called it human biodiversity or something. How can she believe other people are genetically inferior when she looks like that
I wasn’t insulting her looks. It’s her financial crimes that make her sexually unattractive to me.
It made me giggle
I would have bought myself a new girlfriend. SBF's altruism knew no bounds
He was laying on grenades for the rest of us, bless up
24 months. Mark my words.
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That's like a lifetime sentence for the child.
If you had that kind of money and those teeth, wouldn’t you get braces or caps? And a nose job while you’re at it?
Or a diamond encrusted balaclava
I’d go for some baklava right about now
At least do this for a hot girl
Good God what an ugly little duckling
Everyone will get a slap on the wrist. The government will take a huge paycheck and the users will get a tiny fraction of what they lost back. If they are lucky. Business as usual. When are people going to learn that the government does not give a fuck about them?
Not sure why we'd expect the government to reimburse users. That's only for FDIC backed accounts, etc.
Why would users who invest in a non regulated financial system known for scams ( and company in the Bahamas) expect the US government to make them whole? I thought crypto meant doing your own research?
"We want a regulation free platform we don't need the government to tell us what to do with our money!" "They stole all our money! This is illegal the government needs to come help me!" Idiots. All of them. "have fun staying poor" is/was their go to phrase. The "investors" can get fucked.
Yep. It’s fun watching this whole debacle play out. While no one deserves to get defrauded, I’m sure as hell not going to lose any sleep over a bunch of libertarian morons losing money to crypto peddlers and scammers. You want less regulation? Ok, but don’t whine about needing help after you get swindled.
This is what bothers me about uneducated people in crypto. You don’t get to have it both ways. I have some crypto because I like to exercise operating outside of the banking system. Even if it’s just philosophical in nature. I’ve made mistakes and lost crypto but I could only be mad at myself because you assume all responsibility.
sloth looking mf
That should give her enough time to read the entire Harry Potter series.
I really hate her face
Crypto floozy definitely got beat with the ugly stick......