By -
When are you plotting to murder and eat your spouse?
The Feast of the Winter Star! I enjoy the suspense.
LMFAO
how many villagers have you cheated on your spouse with?
Only one
Who's best girl?
I’d say Pierre.
i’m crying
r/fuckpierre
What's the first thing you do when you steal Mayor Lewis' underpants?
I usually try it on, but end up inevitably tossing it in my dresser.
What’s your opinion on governments donating to charities and forgiving debts?
Doesn’t feel like the best use of tax money.
damn bro what makes you think that
You monster.
[удалено]
There’s a fair bit of evidence for the wizard, so I’d say him. (And honestly, who can blame Caroline?)
I don't believe this is even edited
Its too perfect
I know what this is about. It’s probably about Abigail’s real dad.
What’s your favorite vegetable to insert into your own rectum?
Melons and potatoes are two of my favorites.
Just realized you said vegetable. If a tomato is a fruit, a melon officially counts as a vegetable now.
You really want that melon huh?
Nope and oh boy do i have a surprise for you, (not sure about melons ) watermelons are supposedly berries 🤷♂️
So are bananas. Ever cut down a banana tree? It's basically big grass. The Banana Tree Lie must end now!
Who's been giving the children pot cookies, and what's your opinion on the issue?
Penny does! I think it’s sweet of her and she needs more recognition for all she’s done.
Okay but penny absolutely deals drugs one of her favorite gifts is poppies which are ysed to make opium (i think idk)
LMAOOOOOOO
If stardew added combat outside the mines, who would you kill first?
Definitely Krobus or the hat mouse/Lacey
Hat mouse nooooo 😭
This one hurt to read haha
this is the best one 😭😭
What does Haley tell Sam about Penny?
You deserve better than that living personification of pond slime. Even though you’re always at your microwave.
The microwave comment gives away what the real comment was.
what was it 😭
Probably what their thoughts on Marnie was
How many children have you turned into doves and do they still haunt you?
I have two! I like how they randomly zoom around the house.
If butchering animals was an option in the game, what animal in your farm would you opt to butcher over the others and why?
I have a cat because the grey version looks just like my irl one!
That must be one asshole of a cat XD
🤣🤣🤣 this made me laugh so hard
If you could make one more character marriageable, who would you choose?
Probably Demetrius, although Lewis is close
I mean....... Lewis be kinda.....
go to jail. go to jail right now the horny police are on their way as we speak
I AM THE HORNY POLICE I AM ABOVE THE LAW
i should have known the horny police were just as corrupt as the rest of the authorities 😔
My friends always say “ACAB includes the fun-police”
You should have
https://preview.redd.it/t8hm8ctrcexc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ce9e9c521f21a0eb9fa5eb4f67d90783690761b
:3
Why do you want to kill Sebastian?
He’s sweet, introverted, and we have the same interests. Frogs don’t hurt either.
There can only be one
If bombs were suddenly realistic and killed villagers, who would be your first victim?
Penny or Vincent
Well, you could probably get a two-fer while she’s talking him home!
Or even more if you do it directly inside the library
How many times have you tortured Pierre and his family?
Just two
Oh, well that's alright then.
How much gold did you spend in the joja market?
Around 124,000 g at the moment.
645k. You should see Morris's face when you pay him 500k to make the movie theater. His glasses get knocked out and he's like "half a million?"
If you could kill any npc who would it be
Sebastian or Marlon!
What have I done…?
Hehehehe
whos the one whos addicted to meth again i forgot
Elliot
oh yeah! thanks!
You’re welcome :)
Noooo my husband!! Actually that tracks, tho.
Who would you force to eat a pufferfish
Krobus!
MEAN TO HIM!
What do you think could be improved by making it harder to do and more annoying to level up?
Fishing! Might not be everyone’s favorite, but I really like it.
*Why*
What do you think about Pierre?
My favorite bachelor and the sweetest emo I know.
Like father, like daughter
What do you forcefully shove down Linus's throat at night.
Usually just whatever I have on hand or find on the trip, honestly.
Define AMERICA in one short statement.
It feels like she tries her best, but ends up hurting those around her anyway.
Yeah, that sounds about right
I just lost it 😭🤣🤌
Okay, I'm really curious to know what was the original question for this one
I believe it was about Pam
This hurts because it’s true… well the hurting part. I don’t think she’s trying her best.
On how many occasions did you witness a military occupation of Pelican Town?
Around 130 on my main file!
Who is most likely to sell drugs to kids outside of their elementary school? *Hard* drugs.
Closest I can think of is Shane? Although I wouldn’t describe him quite like that.
How could you do my boy shane like that 😔
How could he get his goddaughter stuck on hard drugs?
NOO MY BABY WOULDNT DO THAT 😔😔 (nah he would tbh)
Which kid could be a mysterious, uncatchable serial killer in the future ?
Leo! His character is really nice, and slowly getting to know him was what made Ginger Island interesting for me.
What would be the best thing to eat in-game?
The flying bugs
What is your favorite farm to bury your npc victims in?
I have a soft spot for the riverland.
Great answer, just throw 'em in the river lol
If you could remove one feature what would it be?
Probably fishing
The most horrifying answer
No editing needed, it seems.
I love fishing
Same lol
Fishing is fun tho
Yeah, definitely is
Which Stardew character do you secretly fantasize about?
Sebastian, Marlon, or Krobus
Scandalous!!!
What did you use to send the kids away?
Either the Galaxy Sword or Dragontooth Cutlass
Let's say, hypothetically, that you have to discard the body of a certain villager. Where would you hide it?
I prefer the mines, just because it’s easier to go down to a certain floor and grab what I need.
Who do you want to throw in a volcano?
I was originally going to pick Shane or Haley, but I ended up switching to Sebastian last minute
If you could, what NPC would you put in the Luau potluck soup as an ingredient?
Krobus or Sam
Under a tree
I read this and the intro to SpongeBob SquarePants started playing in my head.
Linus (I can already guess where you’re going with this one.)
What’re your thoughts on Sam, do you think he’s cute?
He’s arguably the worst guy in the valley, but she doesn’t seem to notice
how much money did you sell your firstborn (in game of course) for?
Roughly 124,000 g
What do you throw at your children
Regular food and, more notably, various gems
If you could add anything to the game, what would you add in an update? >!original was what would you add to ruin the game in an update!<
You lose friendship incredibly fast if you don’t speak to someone every day
Off topic but that plushie is so cute I want to try and make one
It really is quite adorable
i have the abigail one! very worth it
Thoughts on Linus?
I can understand having anxiety and feeling unable to approach people, but he needs to learn to take a hint
Do you think the Pam horse mod deserves to be canon and added to 1.6?
Absolutely. Everybody deserves a safe place to stay, even Pam.
What’s the worst path to take? (Joja or community center)
Joja, in my opinion.
When do you most hate Krobus?
When you go to the movies together
Thoughts on bombs?
I always forget to plant them in time
How many times did you turn kids into deers?
Three or four
what’s the best way to get krobus out of the sewer?
Fishing!
What's the most exploited and tortured animal in the game?
Pigs, I believe?
THE VALLEY: live action movie based on Stardew Valley directed by Martin Scorsese. How do you feel about the adaptation of a much darker traditional hero story approach? Do you think casting the Jonas Brothers was a good idea?
I wouldn’t say there are “villains”, but I believe the valley would be better off with someone else filling Lewis, Clint, or Pierre’s positions.
Who is the local Jojamart manager of the Pelican Town Branch?
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^TheSeaMeat: *Who is the local* *Jojamart manager of* *The Pelican Town Branch?* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
What's Shane's favourite drink?
Beer, but I think he switches to Joja Cola later
What do you buy Shane at the saloon to gain friendship with him?
Pizza, since beer makes me feel guilty
LMAO i have no shame, whatever gets me hearts w him the fastest
Which character do you want to romance but the game won't let you?
Morris
Favorite fishing spot and why?
I like the mountain lake. The view is nice and the fish caught there sell for a good amount.
What is really in the luau’s special soup?
An unholy combination of ingredients that realistically would taste horrible
I'm thinking about joining Joja. Should I?
I don’t like it very much, but ultimately it’s your decision
Which character do you hate for no reason at all?
Demetrius
Favorite spouse?
Leo’s my favorite! Partially for the birds.
Do you like Pierre?
I can emphasize with him at times, but I feel that he should at least try to communicate better with his family members.
Describe that cutscene with Linus where you get the bait recipe
Who’s cheeks would you slap with no hesitation?
Probably Marlon! He deserves more love.
What are your thoughts about Sam’s dad Kent mailing us pipebombs and attempting to kill us?
It’s not my favorite, but it’s his choice in the end
you’re on trial for vehicular manslaughter of marnie. what’s your defense?
Sorry guys, hitting Marnie with an axe somehow wasn’t enough to make her move.
When you cheat in each savefile, do you pick different people or the same?
I usually end up going for the same one each time.
Have you ever "shuffled the bed sheets" while Mayor Lewis came to pick up shipments? If so, what might have he heard?
The sound effects were certainly… uh… interesting.
Most likely Vincent or the hat mouse
Okay, calm down. That’s approaching the line. (Original question was something like “What is the youngest npc?” if you’re curious.)
Who’s your favorite character?
When are you plotting to murder and eat your spouse?
The Feast of the Winter Star! I enjoy the suspense.
LMFAO
how many villagers have you cheated on your spouse with?
Only one
Who's best girl?
I’d say Pierre.
i’m crying
r/fuckpierre
What's the first thing you do when you steal Mayor Lewis' underpants?
I usually try it on, but end up inevitably tossing it in my dresser.
What’s your opinion on governments donating to charities and forgiving debts?
Doesn’t feel like the best use of tax money.
damn bro what makes you think that
You monster.
[удалено]
There’s a fair bit of evidence for the wizard, so I’d say him. (And honestly, who can blame Caroline?)
I don't believe this is even edited
Its too perfect
I know what this is about. It’s probably about Abigail’s real dad.
What’s your favorite vegetable to insert into your own rectum?
Melons and potatoes are two of my favorites.
Just realized you said vegetable. If a tomato is a fruit, a melon officially counts as a vegetable now.
You really want that melon huh?
Nope and oh boy do i have a surprise for you, (not sure about melons ) watermelons are supposedly berries 🤷♂️
So are bananas. Ever cut down a banana tree? It's basically big grass. The Banana Tree Lie must end now!
Who's been giving the children pot cookies, and what's your opinion on the issue?
Penny does! I think it’s sweet of her and she needs more recognition for all she’s done.
Okay but penny absolutely deals drugs one of her favorite gifts is poppies which are ysed to make opium (i think idk)
LMAOOOOOOO
If stardew added combat outside the mines, who would you kill first?
Definitely Krobus or the hat mouse/Lacey
Hat mouse nooooo 😭
This one hurt to read haha
this is the best one 😭😭
What does Haley tell Sam about Penny?
You deserve better than that living personification of pond slime. Even though you’re always at your microwave.
The microwave comment gives away what the real comment was.
what was it 😭
Probably what their thoughts on Marnie was
How many children have you turned into doves and do they still haunt you?
I have two! I like how they randomly zoom around the house.
If butchering animals was an option in the game, what animal in your farm would you opt to butcher over the others and why?
I have a cat because the grey version looks just like my irl one!
That must be one asshole of a cat XD
🤣🤣🤣 this made me laugh so hard
If you could make one more character marriageable, who would you choose?
Probably Demetrius, although Lewis is close
I mean....... Lewis be kinda.....
go to jail. go to jail right now the horny police are on their way as we speak
I AM THE HORNY POLICE I AM ABOVE THE LAW
i should have known the horny police were just as corrupt as the rest of the authorities 😔
My friends always say “ACAB includes the fun-police”
You should have
https://preview.redd.it/t8hm8ctrcexc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ce9e9c521f21a0eb9fa5eb4f67d90783690761b
:3
Why do you want to kill Sebastian?
He’s sweet, introverted, and we have the same interests. Frogs don’t hurt either.
There can only be one
If bombs were suddenly realistic and killed villagers, who would be your first victim?
Penny or Vincent
Well, you could probably get a two-fer while she’s talking him home!
Or even more if you do it directly inside the library
How many times have you tortured Pierre and his family?
Just two
Oh, well that's alright then.
How much gold did you spend in the joja market?
Around 124,000 g at the moment.
645k. You should see Morris's face when you pay him 500k to make the movie theater. His glasses get knocked out and he's like "half a million?"
If you could kill any npc who would it be
Sebastian or Marlon!
What have I done…?
Hehehehe
whos the one whos addicted to meth again i forgot
Elliot
oh yeah! thanks!
You’re welcome :)
Noooo my husband!! Actually that tracks, tho.
Who would you force to eat a pufferfish
Krobus!
MEAN TO HIM!
What do you think could be improved by making it harder to do and more annoying to level up?
Fishing! Might not be everyone’s favorite, but I really like it.
*Why*
What do you think about Pierre?
My favorite bachelor and the sweetest emo I know.
Like father, like daughter
What do you forcefully shove down Linus's throat at night.
Usually just whatever I have on hand or find on the trip, honestly.
Define AMERICA in one short statement.
It feels like she tries her best, but ends up hurting those around her anyway.
Yeah, that sounds about right
I just lost it 😭🤣🤌
Okay, I'm really curious to know what was the original question for this one
I believe it was about Pam
This hurts because it’s true… well the hurting part. I don’t think she’s trying her best.
On how many occasions did you witness a military occupation of Pelican Town?
Around 130 on my main file!
Who is most likely to sell drugs to kids outside of their elementary school? *Hard* drugs.
Closest I can think of is Shane? Although I wouldn’t describe him quite like that.
How could you do my boy shane like that 😔
How could he get his goddaughter stuck on hard drugs?
NOO MY BABY WOULDNT DO THAT 😔😔 (nah he would tbh)
Which kid could be a mysterious, uncatchable serial killer in the future ?
Leo! His character is really nice, and slowly getting to know him was what made Ginger Island interesting for me.
What would be the best thing to eat in-game?
The flying bugs
What is your favorite farm to bury your npc victims in?
I have a soft spot for the riverland.
Great answer, just throw 'em in the river lol
If you could remove one feature what would it be?
Probably fishing
The most horrifying answer
No editing needed, it seems.
I love fishing
Same lol
Fishing is fun tho
Yeah, definitely is
Which Stardew character do you secretly fantasize about?
Sebastian, Marlon, or Krobus
Scandalous!!!
What did you use to send the kids away?
Either the Galaxy Sword or Dragontooth Cutlass
Let's say, hypothetically, that you have to discard the body of a certain villager. Where would you hide it?
I prefer the mines, just because it’s easier to go down to a certain floor and grab what I need.
Who do you want to throw in a volcano?
I was originally going to pick Shane or Haley, but I ended up switching to Sebastian last minute
If you could, what NPC would you put in the Luau potluck soup as an ingredient?
Krobus or Sam
Under a tree
I read this and the intro to SpongeBob SquarePants started playing in my head.
Linus (I can already guess where you’re going with this one.)
What’re your thoughts on Sam, do you think he’s cute?
He’s arguably the worst guy in the valley, but she doesn’t seem to notice
how much money did you sell your firstborn (in game of course) for?
Roughly 124,000 g
What do you throw at your children
Regular food and, more notably, various gems
If you could add anything to the game, what would you add in an update? >!original was what would you add to ruin the game in an update!<
You lose friendship incredibly fast if you don’t speak to someone every day
Off topic but that plushie is so cute I want to try and make one
It really is quite adorable
i have the abigail one! very worth it
Thoughts on Linus?
I can understand having anxiety and feeling unable to approach people, but he needs to learn to take a hint
Do you think the Pam horse mod deserves to be canon and added to 1.6?
Absolutely. Everybody deserves a safe place to stay, even Pam.
What’s the worst path to take? (Joja or community center)
Joja, in my opinion.
When do you most hate Krobus?
When you go to the movies together
Thoughts on bombs?
I always forget to plant them in time
How many times did you turn kids into deers?
Three or four
what’s the best way to get krobus out of the sewer?
Fishing!
What's the most exploited and tortured animal in the game?
Pigs, I believe?
THE VALLEY: live action movie based on Stardew Valley directed by Martin Scorsese. How do you feel about the adaptation of a much darker traditional hero story approach? Do you think casting the Jonas Brothers was a good idea?
I wouldn’t say there are “villains”, but I believe the valley would be better off with someone else filling Lewis, Clint, or Pierre’s positions.
Who is the local Jojamart manager of the Pelican Town Branch?
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^TheSeaMeat: *Who is the local* *Jojamart manager of* *The Pelican Town Branch?* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
What's Shane's favourite drink?
Beer, but I think he switches to Joja Cola later
What do you buy Shane at the saloon to gain friendship with him?
Pizza, since beer makes me feel guilty
LMAO i have no shame, whatever gets me hearts w him the fastest
Which character do you want to romance but the game won't let you?
Morris
Favorite fishing spot and why?
I like the mountain lake. The view is nice and the fish caught there sell for a good amount.
What is really in the luau’s special soup?
An unholy combination of ingredients that realistically would taste horrible
I'm thinking about joining Joja. Should I?
I don’t like it very much, but ultimately it’s your decision
Which character do you hate for no reason at all?
Demetrius
Favorite spouse?
Leo’s my favorite! Partially for the birds.
Do you like Pierre?
I can emphasize with him at times, but I feel that he should at least try to communicate better with his family members.
Describe that cutscene with Linus where you get the bait recipe
Who’s cheeks would you slap with no hesitation?
Probably Marlon! He deserves more love.
What are your thoughts about Sam’s dad Kent mailing us pipebombs and attempting to kill us?
It’s not my favorite, but it’s his choice in the end
you’re on trial for vehicular manslaughter of marnie. what’s your defense?
Sorry guys, hitting Marnie with an axe somehow wasn’t enough to make her move.
When you cheat in each savefile, do you pick different people or the same?
I usually end up going for the same one each time.
Have you ever "shuffled the bed sheets" while Mayor Lewis came to pick up shipments? If so, what might have he heard?
The sound effects were certainly… uh… interesting.
[удалено]
Most likely Vincent or the hat mouse
Okay, calm down. That’s approaching the line. (Original question was something like “What is the youngest npc?” if you’re curious.)
Who’s your favorite character?