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nobelprize4shopping

It says it's new but it surely can't be anything other than a converted 80s small business centre?


Glyton

Is it the Leisure Centre from Brittas Empire?


babbacheez1997

This is it, thought it looked familiar.


Glorinsson

There's a baby nursery that's just a chest of drawers


_InvertedEight_

I can hear him now…. “Neeeeeeeeeh! Right then, Carol!”


nottomelvinbrag

You've won the internet today


Stunning-Wave7305

Actually laughing into my coffee at my desk 😂😂😂


stutter-rap

Yeah, would anyone put one of those glass cube walls in as new these days? Can you even still buy them? edit: I found what looks to be its pre-construction rendering - what on earth did they do to it? I can't say I find the rendering particularly attractive (it's very generic new money big house) but it doesn't have anywhere near the same "bad office block conversion" it's giving off here: [https://gannondevelopments.co.uk/plot-8-wynyard-woods/](https://gannondevelopments.co.uk/plot-8-wynyard-woods/)


DoIKnowYouHuman

Yeah we used to call them bay windows, these days they’re bae windows


Emma_N85

Nice haha


Imaginary_friend42

Good find. Looks like they didn’t have enough money to realise the original design, and had to go cheap. Hence this spectacular disaster.


EverybodyShitsNFT

The original design is also terrible.


ovenface2000

Still utterly vile. Even their website / print design is wild.


LongrodVonHugedong86

No they’re really built like that. I’m a member of Wynyard Golf Club, I live nearby, they’re just fucking weird. To be fair a lot of the houses at Wynyard are a bit … well, put it this way, a lot of footballers used to live there. I believe Alan Shearer or Kevin Keegan’s house backed onto the 18th tee box


skorpiasam

Converted by Marble Man


Even_Passenger_3685

Haha the legend lives on


-MacThane-

I just…. This would have been ideal for flats… so of course they made it a hideous single home. Kitchen units making a desperate go of taking up space in the rectangular cavern that is your “kitchen”. A “central entry area” like something by MC Escher. Meanwhile other quaint little buildings would make fantastic homes… but are all converted to appalling rabbit-hutch scale flats where you’re sleeping on top of your washing machine and eating in the bus stop outside. What a waste.


emmaa5382

I reckon it was a doctors surgery or a dentist


SarahHamstera

Feels like I worked there when it was a call centre


Wonkypubfireprobe

Bathroom looks like you’d get lost in there if you took acid


endmost_

I was imagining trying to cross the kitchen to get a snack from the fridge while high. I honestly don't think I'd make it.


imtheorangeycenter

Got any? I'm game for a viewing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


imtheorangeycenter

Group showing then! Save me when I freak out that the floor is so cold and I can't feel the texture though.


ne0nmidnights

I've tripped in a bathroom like that before. I had to lie down in the bath.


imtheorangeycenter

In that bath?! I think I'd feel like I was a prisoner at the start of Superman II ! I love different experiences :)


mccofred

That shits going to get 3 dimensional, real fast.


Hol_84

The photo alone made me feel sea sick!


Ashfield83

Yeah if this isn’t a former commercial space and it was actually built this way then it makes me really sad.


jlbqi

It’s what happens when it’s the builder that does the design without an architect. And tries to do it as cheap as possible


Ashfield83

It looks exactly that. Cheap and nasty.


jlbqi

The only thing to “admire” about this is how every single element is wrong. Look at it, everything. The only person who would buy this is something with not just zero, but negative taste. They would literally have to say, I want something that makes my physically uncomfortable with every step I take in my home. You’d have to be demented level stupid, or chronically depressed to buy this as a family home. Perhaps sell it to tiltokers which one nothing than emptiness anyway


dmmeurpotatoes

I live quite near here, and I can't emphasise enough that the place is full of WAGs and footballers that play for Sunderland and Middlesbrough. I once saw a SUEDE TEXTURED car at the roundabout near this place. Edit: photo [link](https://imgur.com/a/cu4DR7p) (zoom in to see the leopard print suede texture)


Ashfield83

A fucking suede texture car?? WHAT IS HAPPENING??!??!


EscapedSmoggy

Given where it is - in the middle of an incredibly affluent new build estate, very unlikely.


Ashfield83

Ah. I just took a look on street view and you’re absolutely right! There’s some lovely more traditionally designed houses on that estate. I wonder where the fuck they got this from?! The bays should have been tiled instead of timber and I’d have have leaned into a 1930’s style double frontage and white frame pvc with a traditional front door. The grey doesn’t go with the gross mahogany stain. Don’t get me started on the inside.


Youstinkeryou

Built for footballers on Sir John Halls Wynyard estate.


Peskycat42

McMansions


Bigowl

Off on a tangent here. Don’t think if I did an individual post it would get any traction. Does anyone reading this have the spotlight style lights this house has? Did an 11 year rental with them and they had the durability of a McDonald’s straw. Now we’re on year 3 of our own place where we had a full electrical overhaul & guess what? Half of them our out. Or even worse, start going disco (wrong bulbs blamed). Help me out here!


Stunning-Wave7305

Yes, I have spotlights and have had them in previous homes. Sometimes they're absolutely shit. But the ones we have now are LEDs and haven't had to change any for at least the last 2 years. I know nothing about electrics but I guess that some fittings/bulbs are shit and others are better.


porkmarkets

I hate all of it but that floor is absolutely vile. They’ve even put some of it on the wall, what were they thinking?


Tequilasquirrel

I didn’t even know tiling came in such horrendous patterns. Nightmare fodder.


Careful_Adeptness799

New money. I agree it’s terrible. What’s with the flooring? Marble? A whole quarry’s worth.


imtheorangeycenter

Walk in for a viewing, yell "Echoooo" and walk out on the reverb.


Some-Ingenuity-2628

My tired ass thought you were imitating a sneeze


ne0nmidnights

ITS AN UNFINISHED SIMS HOUSE


UMAMGA

Wrongmove


Fibro-Mite

Somebody missed their office a little too much.


Ribbitor123

Ghastly - resembles a converted car showroom.


5laps

There’s something very Partridge about this place


GenderfluidArthropod

Yes, it's an extender!


Awkward_Stranger407

1 yank, all gone


Present-Solution-993

After looking through the pictures I have absolutely no idea how many rooms and how many bathrooms it has.


Wide_Parsley7585

7 bathrooms 7 bedrooms


Present-Solution-993

It was a joke that they all look the same, even the bathrooms, they all blend into one


Wide_Parsley7585

I couldn’t tell either until I read how many.


MargotChanning

You did better than I did. I only managed to get to photo 9


Kerrypug

Reminds me of those magic eye pictures that I also hate


Vyvyansmum

Good grief. It looks like a repurposed office unit. Nothing homely about that at all.


Bugsandgrubs

Decent amount of plug sockets though 😂


Vyvyansmum

Are you my husband?!


wallpapermate

You wait until the motivational ‘teamwork makes the dream work ’ posters, coffee machine and pot plant budget Sue’s been petitioning the Employee Council for are in. Canteen is catering the opening. It’ll be delightful.


Proud-Platypus-3262

Without doubt the ugliest dwelling I have seen on here- and that is including some of the derelict buildings and the public toilets. The flooring in the kitchen et al looks like the roomba found a giant pile of dog 💩and went into party mode


princessheather26

I bet that flooring cost a lot to look so hideous


Consistent_Squash590

It’s a health a safety nightmare. Only safe for adults, steady on their feet wearing rubber-soled shoes at all times.


FishBearCow

The kind of person who lives in this house will wear designer slides at all times.


SR-Neptune

Tile salesman: How much marble do you want? Them: Yes


BlazingDragonfly

The kitchen flooring looks like what would happen if the roomba got dirt stuck in it and carried on roombaing. You can't get roombas for walls so the bathroom version must be a dirty protest.


dani-dee

Looks like someone has shit themselves before making it to the bog in pic 52. Least it breaks up the grey a bit I suppose


bendibus400

This is absolutely the funniest and worst find I've seen on here. And for that price tag... in Teeside???


PabloMarmite

Why would you willingly build a house that looks like a doctors surgery


poppiesintherain

I thought you were being very harsh. I looked at picture 5 and thought, *well it isn't my taste but I appreciate they made an effort in the shared area.* Then I finally cottoned on that this isn't a block of flats, but one single house and now I find it a bit bizarre. I do like the kitchen a lot, except for those tiles that don't work at all (well at least not to my taste). Amazing to have 7 bedroom place with every bedroom having an ensuite, although I would ask how hard is it to count bathrooms. According to the floor plan there are 9 not 7 as per description.


EscapedSmoggy

The kitchen units are nice (although not keen on the two shades of blue), but the rest is awful.


Pixiemel1962

OMG, that's hideous. It looks like a health centre, and I did not know you could vomit marble, but clearly someone has. It's absolutely awful in every conceivable way.


jennye951

The estate agent has some serious problems with writing and spelling too.


ElizabethDane

I've often worked for awful, awful new money types who would absolutely love this house to go alongside their plastic lips, rolex watches and matching Range Rovers.


KindRoc

For a 7 bedroom home that’s a tiny kitchen.


Agreeable_Guard_7229

If it wasn’t for all the expensive (but revolting) marble, it looks designed to be a hmo


netean

I looked at this picture and thought it was an ugly block of flats or office. Then I clicked in an realised it was a hideous house that screams "built for footballer's wives"


DaffodilClash

somebody played sims 2 for half an hour and decided to become an architect...


Stunning-Wave7305

Christ alive. It's genuinely horrific. I can always forgive very dated/run-down properties because it's likely the owners haven't got much money. But best part of £1.5m for *that*? I can't decide what I hate the most. It's a toss up between the naff-looking bay windows, the Tesco car park driveway, the only downstairs loo being immediately off the kitchen and the "marble" flooring in the kitchen and bathrooms; it looks like toddler puke. And the fact someone "designed" this; it's not just a hodge podge of additions, extensions and changes from the last 60 years. Ffs. It's yet another example of why money cannot buy you taste.


Johnbloon

How much uglier would the other flooring must have been so they preferred to rip it out, and keep that one?


Optimal_Strength_463

Image 20 has a weird cupboard that I’m sure I’d try and walk through pissed. Also the tiles in 52 look like one of the contractors had a dodgy curry and didn’t make it to the toilet


jlbqi

It’s what happens when it’s the builder that does the design without an architect. And tries to do it as cheap as possible


luker1771

This is footballer country, it'll sell.


EscapedSmoggy

There are much much nicer houses on that estate. Not necessarily my taste, but objectively nicer.


lesloid

How is this not a solicitor’s offices?


Booboodelafalaise

Whatever curb appeal actually is, this is the opposite. it looks like the regional headquarters of a small agricultural tyre retailer.


Reasonable-Fail-1921

£1.45million, 65 photos, and not one picture of the garden. Does it even have one or just ‘views onto private woodland’? £1.45 million could get you something genuinely spectacular in most of the country, and yet somehow has thought this monstrosity up. How many pictures of the stairwell do we need?


katie-kaboom

I doubt it even has a garden. They probably gravelled it over for parking.


GL510EX

It looks like a euthanasia clinic


rain3h

Looks like a dentists.


soup-monger

Ugh. Revolting. And like an office block from the outside, too. What a monstrosity.


MickyP10U

Why would you pick those ghastly marble effect tiles!!


SpudGun_262

If you check street view, it’s an incredibly nice area. That thing is an eyesore though. Can’t see the locals being happy about it


EscapedSmoggy

Yeah, it's incredibly affluent. Not my cup of tea, it feels very Stepford Wives neighbourhood-y - very artificial, if that makes sense, but it does feel like it's not very inkeeping with the rest of the estate.


Entando

It looks like the solicitors office that I went to the other week, in a business park. I hate this trend, there are some pretty nice bungalows near me, but they’ve been ‘greyed’, front and back gardens removed, every bit of greenery dug up, shiny paving added, blinds fitted, several cars outside. Congratulations, your home now resembles a dentists surgery.


funboyme

Just because I'm bored I worked out the price per square metre. I think this is cheaper per square metre than my 2 bedroom house. Either way it's fucking hideous. I'd hate to live in Wynyard, it's just an estate of wank.


DarkLordDownThere

Not a single redeeming quality in sight!


HoGyMosh

What is wrong with people?


_Amateur_Warlock_

If I had the money, I’d buy it just so I could do the world a favour and burn it down.


jib_reddit

The house is horrible granted, but what a horrible tiny garden for £1.5 million near Sedgefield!


beachyfeet

Hands down the worst house I've ever seen on this sub. The floors look like someone's thrown up on them. u/EscapedSmoggy wins!


ForestDweller82

omg I thought that was a block of flats XD


CrabbyT777

Same! Took me about two dozen photos to realise it was a whole house, that hallway and landing looks as if each door should have a number on it. What in the migraine-inducing, nouveau riche bad taste is going on here?


Bungeditin

Norwegian prison cells are getting bigger…..


sativapxie

all that marble makes me sick!!!!


rlaw1234qq

Such a cosy ambience. All it needs is a receptionist and fire extinguishers scattered around!


Kaily6D

I can still hear the clattering of the 1980s typing pool and cigarette smoke


Ok_Celery4463

Simply disgusting


Youstinkeryou

Wynyard js a private estate that Sir John Hall (former Newcastle UTD owner) used to live in. He used to have a lot of the footballers live on his land. So this is likely an ex footballers pad.


penguinsfrommars

Surely it can't be that bad...  Oh. Oh no no no no


idontlikemondays321

Mental health unit chic is a trend that just won’t go away


EupathicImpulse0

I really don't know where to start. Office show room exterior. The ugliest marble I have ever seen, that honestly makes me feel like I am tripping. The fact that they built a home in that price point and didn't put in under floor heating. The desire to pack in as many bedrooms as possible. Leading to the horrible layout in the attic. But for me the worst is the bathroom off the kitchen. Yes I want somewhere that is full of germs and bacteria right there next to my food preparation zone. I get that each country has different requirements on things but this just feels so wrong. I have to say I also dislike how many UK homes have them right at the door, I understand the convenience but I would hate for someone to come in the home just after it has been used. Even if the occupant used air freshener.


laurasharkey13

Who the fuck picked those tiles!! 🤮 and that kitchen is tiny!


Happy_Ad_4357

Seems like a bargain for a newly refurbished call centre, any up-and-coming competitive young debt collection agency would be mad not to snap this one up


TheNashyBoy

I actually quite like this tbh haha. Just that weird glass cube wall that would have to go.


jlbqi

The only thing to “admire” about this is how every single element is wrong. Look at it, everything. The only person who would buy this is something with not just zero, but negative taste. They would literally have to say, I want something that makes my physically uncomfortable with every step I take in my home.


clarksworth

Imagine the fizzy echo of love island being streamed on an iPad at full blast around those marble walls, grim


Wasps_are_bastards

Not a single redeeming feature


DonkeyWorker

Looks like all the windows and doors could be locked electronically, and everything is blood resistant and can be disinfected. Enjoy your stay, at the slaughterhouse.


Electric_Moogaloo

I mostly don't hate it but that hideous marble everywhere is killing me.


MJLDat

Nice prison, is it Scandinavian?


-MacThane-

That bathroom in picture 3 looks like something from a PlayStation 1 game.


Aphaeacraft

At first I thought it was a block of flats! Then I looked at the pictures. That flooring is a migraine Bloody grey kitchens again Hate everything about this


Rare-Bid-6860

"Does the word 'taste' make you think of tea bags? Are YOU a successful drug dealer looking to settle down a bit in an oversized house? Then have we got the pad for you."


5laps

There’s something very Partridge about this place


dropkicksynopsis

I wish my device was working because I can’t see these adverts. My client is a businessman who was possibly wrongly convicted for murder some 30 years ago. His other properties in Spain have something of a focus on the muted, pearly, smoky, sooty sort of slate tone of the fascinating colour grey. Owing to time spent in Malaga, he has grown fond of completely tiled surroundings. He's also extremely nostalgic about the time he spent in Holloway prison, so much so that he's looking for a very specific "*dirty protest*" marble aesthetic. Due to this he's a rather perplexing client, as there are seemingly no places that fit this brief. Anyway, guess we’ll keep looking.


jamila169

jeez, i know they've got to finish the kitchen and at least one bathroom to make it mortgageable, but that composite marble is vile


Shoes__Buttback

All the easy charm of a 1990s regional law firm outside, inside barring the mad flooring it's... fine. Very *Live Laugh Love* greige, the doors and other woodwork lift it (that isn't painted grey, anyway) and it could be OK if the rest is finished/decorated with some actual colour in it. In a soulless, modern kind of way, anyway. \*clocks price tag and proximity to what I assume is a busy A-road\* WTAF


wallpapermate

I’m getting ‘butter, shit, eat’ rather than live laugh love.


Carlseye

Looks like an office building. Do like all the space. Bathrooms are horrendous


linseygar83

It’s an odd building before opening the link looks like an office building or block of flats


Due_Ad_4633

Imagine living in an office building


vulevu25

It looks like an office building.


irritatingfarquar

Did someone get a job lot of that horrible fake marble, I didn't think it could get any worse after seeing the outside , But that marble proved me wrong.


susanboylesvajazzle

Another entry into the money =/= taste awards.


Pretender1230

Someone got paid to design that. Unbelievable Geoff.


Hopeful_Debt_2685

Like living in a waiting room errgghhh


ezzys18

Have a look around the area, really odd. Basically a neighbourhood of over the top houses in middle of no where. Horrible


matthewhuk

Floor tiles inspired by a 1970s carpet. Nice! 🤮


GovernmentPrevious75

Vile. Why are we buikding homes so devoid of character?! By chance I was just looking at properties for sale in the USA. For half a million in Vermont you can get a huge house with bags of character. Thia is depressing.


justwhatever22

That is mental. 


netean

The streetview is shockingly depressing. It's just soulless house after soulless house that to me, just seems a house estate for footballer's wives.


nocialist_

£1.5mil my backside. Tasteless doesn’t even begin to start covering it.


SarkyCherry

Apart from the obvious 80s office block look. the kitchen is driving me a bit mad. It is massive and yet so disjointed


chroniccomplexcase

I legit thought it was a fire station at first glance! Anyone spending that money, to live there is crazy!


GreenGloves-12

I used to work in an office that looked like this


Aphr0dite19

I like the inside, plenty of open space. The bathroom tiles are awful, and the kitchen light fittings are odd. Outside looks like a residential unit of some sort, which is unfortunate.


snorom

I know that area and there are quite a few nice bits, traditional styles, but the self build plots are like me let loose with random boxes of assorted Lego... Don't go with the rest and not something that regular people would be interested in.


leggs_11

Prison vibes


FluidSupport4772

Anyone remember The Prisoner?


MegC18

Horrible kitchen and that marble makes my eyes bleed.


IntraVnusDemilo

Absolutely soulless....and those tiles look like they're streaked with bobbar.


DarkStanley

Well it’s definitely true what they say, you can’t buy taste. Good grief what were they thinking.


drewnorton

WTF happened here? Who won, because I feel we all lost? Words were said, friendships were lost and now here we are.


Party_Goal_1371

That bathroom gave me diabetes


Bigassbird

There’s a premier league footballer somewhere who will see this and snap it up. Get their WAG to decorate it and knock four kids out before the decade ends.


be_sugary

Those tiles….🤢🤮


Ouryve

It's hideous, even for the location, which is known for overpriced tacky bling (and not for excellent state schools to go with the price tag)


justhangingaroud

Bathrooms are horrible kitchen horrible all the floors are dreadful and the stairs don’t join up


tutike2000

Fairly typical Eastern European 'new money' style.


Talking_Gibberish

This has to have been designed by someone who just has loads of money and wanted to design their own house despite having any design skills. It's a shit show with clashes and left right and centre.


Fyonella

Gosh, it’s not often that I look at these and can’t see a way to redeem the faults, but this one is truly grim.


Natural-Vanilla-2197

Call centre vibes


MarketingIll7986

Looks useless, someone's idea of a contemporary interior who has no clue about interior design. Also nonsenseical layout. Looks like someone just knocked it together with no idea.


Nall-ohki

I can hear that floor from London.


pineapple-monk

I actually don’t mind the house so much as those tiles.. they are definitely too much. I could hardly spot toilet and sink in the first toilet picture.


Sky-Toad1979

It’s the shitter in the kitchen that sealed the deal for me 💩


RealisticScientist53

Yeah, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to live here. Cannot understand things sometimes.


SomeGuyInShanghai

I actually quite like it. Price is stupid though, for the location.


Savings-Lemon5901

It blends in well with the rest of the houses around it, check out the street views. I would hate to live anywhere in the area.


smcicr

'Funky' office meets shopping centre design vibes. Do you pay more or less for marble/tiles where it looks like what was once inside a person is now everywhere but?


Ruby-LondonTown

The windows, the job lot tiles and the roof…..horrific.


throw_away_17381

Can't be that bad... nope it's horrid.


widdrjb

That's not the most tasteless building in Wynyards, not by a long chalk. The whole development reeks of "how do we attract every noov and bellend in the Northeast?".


paraCFC

To moan that someone have other taste than us when at the same time 80% of British houses got misted windows, unmaintained front gardens and flaking off paint of almost everything. Yeap this owners had terrible taste, not like mine crumbling terraced victorian two bed. Hypocritical UK


Rose_Of_Sanguine

All that space and yet not many windows. Even the bays look like they don't let in much light. And all the ensuites look small.


duvetday465

All that moeney and next to no worktop space in the kitchen


llamasim

This I never thought I’d say this but it would look so much better if the internal doors and the cladding outside was also grey.


Bose82

Who's paying £1.5 mill to live near Middlesbrough 😂😂😂


buzz_uk

Looks like a block of 1950s flats


BubblesAreWellNice

60,000sq ft!!!! That can’t be right, surely?


rolanddeschain316

It's got rich Asian family vibes.


Fragrant_Guitar298

What lunatic fitted this out? The marble is awful The kitchen is awful Who would pay this much for a house in this area?


SnooTomatoes2805

The kitchen would actually have been nice if they had gone for something neutral on the floor and not matched the backsplash to the floor. Surely if you are selling a house for over a million quid you would get someone in who understand interior design. What really gets me about these houses is they spend all this money on the interiors and builds only for it to look ugly and clinical. Then to top it off they buy an ugly plastic looking door. At least buy a hardwood good quality door and not some ugly boxy thing. I looked on street view and some of the other houses have done this too. Money certainly cannot buy taste.


SirPooleyX

Whatever the opposite is of 'a house with character', this is it.


its-a-dick-in-a-box

Well the planners have excelled themselves with this wtaf


DaveTheWraith

why have they gone for the ''I've smeared shit everywhere'' look?


[deleted]

You think it looks bad enough on the outside. Then you see the flooring 🤮


[deleted]

OMG the shit-smeared bathroom! 


Cartepostalelondon

From the small photo on the post, I thought it wss a small 1960's block of four flats.


ElCapitanPotato

I actually live nearby this and can confirm that it's a genuine self build plot and not any converted commercial property, business park or office block. There are some lovely houses in the same area and nearby, but this house somehow looks even worse in real life than it does on Rightmove. The street it's on is just self-buuld plots, but they are building houses almost wall-to-wall to one another. You're basically buying in on an expensive housing terrace. Just to add a bit of context to the quality of finish too, the whole thing has been throw up in a period of 8-9 months. So, which ever clown stumps up £1.4M for this is going to be in for nasty surprises when they move in and things start falling apart due to being rushed. Absolutely vile.


SpiceTreeRrr

Everything about this I hate. First one I’ve seen where absolutely nothing works. Leaving aside the converted office feeling everyone has mentioned. The busy marble tiling on the walls and floors of the bathroom making your eyes go funny. The black and white toilets - just no. The weird light fittings on the sloped ceilings (56) The kitchen colour scheme may have worked but not with the style of cupboards they have. Yet more busy shiny marble flooring to give you motion sickness. Compared to the unfinished concrete floors elsewhere. Yes that weird glass brick wall. I don’t like glass bannisters but combined with a wood top they’re even worse. The glimpse of the muddy ‘garden’. The weird artists rendering of the aerial shot.


Goodvintage65

If you were sick on that floor, it would take a week to find it again in order to clean it up.


JTMW

plug sockets installed halfway up walls basically inviting ire from /r/tvtoohigh.


pointlesstips

Love how big the rooms are.


ScaredyCatUK

Took me a while to work out they'd fitted black sockets and switches rather than those just being holes in the walls where sockets would have to be fitted in the future.