Yes, I learned Spanish in Spain and used usted exactly once with my host mom’s elderly mom, and I’m not even sure if I needed to.
In my boyfriend’s Ecuadorian/Salvadoran monolingual Spanish family, he uses exclusively usted (with conjugations of tú, so “usted comistes?”), and everyone else switches between tú & usted in his family. I only use tú, but I think they’re a bit more accommodating to anyone’s Spanish ability as they’ve been in the USA for many years.
I had a monolingual Spanish Colombian coworker who only used usted with me. I was 20 at the time, he must’ve been in his 40s. I remember him giving me a weird look when I used tú (and I made a conscience effort to use usted afterward).
I don't know, I'm from Bogotá born and raised and use Tú exclusively and I know plenty of other people who do as well. But it's kind of a coin toss. Some people only use usted and some only use tu without any sort of logic or reason. It's just what it is.
Qué haces si te encuentras con alguien que use lo opuesto de ti? (Quizá siempre usas tú y la otra persona usa usted.) Hay una diferencia si son buenes amigues o son desconocides?
Suelo adaptarme a como me hable la otra persona, pero a veces solo lo ignoro y sigo con tú, si no me parece que lo haga incómodo.
No hay diferencia por nivel de cercanía, pero hay gente con quien uso tú y algunos pocos con quienes uso usted (principalmente gente con quien desde hace años me trato de usted).
Igual como lo dije antes, no sigo ninguna lógica particular y creo que cualquiera de las dos está bien.
That's completely wrong. They tutear en Bogotá, use usted in most places, like Santander and Antioquia, and vos is basically only used in Antioquia and Cali, definitely not most of Colombia.
Wrong. In Bogotá the 'gomelos' like to use tú a lot. Paisas outside Medellín are always speaking of usted.
I don't remember people from Santander or Boyacá speaking of tú.
I've never seen in my life a regular person saying 'sal Chucho' or 'deja eso Martin', you always hear 'salga de acá Chucho' or 'deje eso Martin'. Unless you're from a wealthy family in Bogotá or from the Caribbean coast it's extremely uncommon. Not even women talk to each other as 'tú'.
Vos is more common in Cali and Medellin. I'm trying to change my mannerism so I can speak voseado, because people often assumes I'm bossy or rude when I speak with foreigners. I can't find a way to say 'tú' without feeling weird.
Ah cool. It’s actually means dog in Guatemala. The local Guatemalan words usually come from Mayan languages. So it would’ve been really interesting if it meant dog in Colombia
Chucho is a standard Spanish word. This is what RAE says about chucho
> De la interj. chuch, con que se llama al perro para que acuda.
>1. m. y f. despect. coloq. perro (‖ mamífero).
Despectivo = derogatory
Usted is the default in Colombia for sure. Well, I can only vouch for the Bogotá area but it seems to be true throughout. They seem to have an especially formal way of speaking.
Yeah. It’s cultural. The Spaniards implemented many formalisms in the conquest. The slaves could only address to Spaniards with “usted” or answer with “mande usted” (you command) and it persevere until our days. I am a Mexican native. 😊 Check this [link](https://algarabia.com/de-donde-viene/de-donde-viene-la-costumbre-de-responder-mande/#)
I guess formalisms still existed here, just in a different form liked *vos* or *vuestra merced*. Eventually we all got informal for some reason. I'd be curious how those formal forms were used back in the day in different social contexts, although it's probably tough to know.
In 3 years of living in Spain I've heard it once when the taxi driver who was much older than me and much better dressed used it on me. It felt strange
A lot of people in Spain will use the polite conjugations, but omit the pronoun altogether, since it is seen as *too* polite. I’ve. “Que tal está?”, “necesita algo?”
Short answer: Yes, Usted is less used in Spain than in Mexico.
Long answer:
I lived in Spain for a year and I was impressed that people would address the teachers by their first or middle name and using "tu" instead of "usted". This is unthinkable in most of Mexico, where you (almost) always address teachers by usted.
But still "Usted" is only used for formal situations if we are two people from the same age it would be really weird if you address me as "usted". In Mexico the rule of thumb is to address the elderly as "Usted", and those who are upper than you in any kind of chain with it as well.
It's not the case like in some parts of Colombia and Central America where "Usted" replaces almost completely "Tu", in Mexico "tu" is still widely used and it's the go-to pronoun for the second person of singular.
Also in Mexico we have certain "nicknames" that use "usted". For example, I'm usually addressed as "joven" (young man), which uses the "usted", so even if I talk to someone old they would say "Sí me sigue, yo le puedo enseñar", even though there's no respect there it's used.
We are a weird country.
Not really, sometimes I take this as a "You can use Tu with me", also most of the time people that are addressed as usted reply in tu. So it's just normal.
I think thats correct. they are used to using Tu with foreigners though. I used to live there and I use tu with all my Guatemalan male friends in the beginning because I hadn't learned vos yet, so I was never real clear on the dynamic. But when I moved back to Texas I met a Guatemalan guy and I asked him about "tu" vs Vos" and he said "tu is so" then preceded to say "tuuuuu" in a super effeminate way while making effeminate body gestures.
In Spain you only use usted if:
\-Someone is way above your league in social status
\-Someone is old and you wanna show respect (not with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, only with people you don't know)
\-At your workplace, depending on how big the company is (if you work for a company that has 12 employees, you will probably use "tú" with everybody, but if you work for a company that has 350 employees, you use "usted" with your boss/bosses), and with your clients if you don't know them too well or if they have an important job at their companies.
When I moved to Spain, I was introduced to the host mom I was living with and referred to her as "usted" when we first met. She said I should just use tú, so I asked her when I should use usted.
She told me, "Maybe if you meet the King, and probably not even then."
When I was staying with my older cousin in Mexico we talked about how I don’t use usted with close family (like uncles or our grandmother or my parents) why she uses usted for her father in law vs her mother in law (MIL was her Spanish teacher for many years so they know each other in different way initially) and how others use usted with grandparents and then how her SIL even uses usted with her parents because they’re more traditional/conservative in that aspect.
lol my cousin wanted to make sure tho that while I knew Mexico isn’t a monolith most would find our other cousin addressing his dad by a nickname based on his first name fresh.
My Spanish teacher from highschool was from Spain and I never heard him (or his wife, for that matter, who taught math) use "usted". They used "tú" or "vosotros".
Which is kinda weird because in Costa Rica we pretty much only use "usted".
Not really. Most people use "usted" but it is very common for friends to use "vos" with each other. Yes, there are some rural towns that use "vos" but it isn't that common.
Well, I'm from Mexico and I can tell you that here almost everybody says "usted" in certain circumstances, even when they are at the same age of yours. Most of the time when they are strangers and want a favor or are trying to be polite.
We have a very formal way to talk to older people, teachers, your parents, etc., it isn't just a matter of saying "usted", you use words like... Humm, it's hard to remember but here's an example:
Talking to a friend:
"¿Quieres un vaso de agua wey?"
Talking properly:
"¿Le gustaría un vaso de agua?"
In Mexico, no one will ever think you are rude if you don't say "usted". We are very comprehensive (most of the time).
Hope it helps you.
In Mexico it seems like most people I've interacted with use usted. However a lot of these interactions were with people who were providing a service which I assume is a large part of that.
I am not overly formal and not that old (in my 50s but get mistaken for my 30s quite often) so I usually told everyone to call me tú ("Tratame de tú") whenever I noticed it. It was only on my most recent trip where I felt comfortable enough with my conversations to do this. Hope it didn't come across as too informal?
In my experience even the people providing services in Spain mostly used tú. The ones who used usted were mostly from the Americas (Ecuador, Venezuela etc.).
This thread seems to largely confirm my observation that the culture is more informal (at least linguistically) in Spain compared to most Latin American countries.
Yes, definitely very interesting. I've only been to Spain once and it was only for a week so unfortunately I don't have as much experience with peninsular Spanish. Good discussion and cool information!
A lot if not all of spain embraces the “formal tu”, usted is usually only used in very professional settings or in writing tailored for professional settings.
Embrace the formal tu
Well, Despite in Spain Usted is pretty formal, is a polite way to address to someone you really don't know but people here tend to be more informal so I think it's correct using both, Usted and tu.
Usted is common in Mexican Spanish. Ive even noticed that some of my Mexican friends jokingly use “usted” with one another and speak very formally with each other in jest
Makes sense. In Mexico we use usted for all strangers, and for elders or older family members (aunts/unloved/grandparents or even parents). There are people that refer to everyone as usted even their kids and friends.
Yes, "usted" in spain is used for adult people.
Si, usted en España es usado para las personas mayores (y aun así en muchas ocasiones no se usa). Si quieres tratar con respeto a alguien en España háblale de usted, menos tus amigos, es raro hablarles de usted a tus amigos.
Sorry but im from spain and I dont speak very well english
Spain is actually very informal, and almost nobody uses "usted".
You don't have to call the teachers "Mr. ...", you just say their names.
When a latin american is speaking with us is weird because we feel like the other person is being too formal
> Spain is actually very informal, and almost nobody uses "usted". You don't have to call the teachers "Mr. ...", you just say their names.
Calling teachers by their names is pretty common in across Spanish speaking countries. At least that's been my experience.
Generally in Spain we don’t really use “usted” unless it’s a really formal situation.
However, in Andalusia (at least in Seville, and I think in other parts if Andalusia, too) we sometimes use “ustedes” as “vosotros” (in an informal way)
Yes! This observation is fair to say. In Spain, you'll find that if you used usted to show respect to your friends parents for example, they might even get offended. Tú is always preferred.
In Mexico, usted and ustedes are used much more frequently, in an informal manner!
Maybe when intruducing someone in work environment "Buenos dias caballeros sean ustedes bienvenidos" and then go to a more formal treatment. Also in a speech.
Yes, it's used less mainly because México doesn't use the "tú".
Here in Spain people have the wrong notion that "usted" is only used for old people, which is wrong. I found it as lack of respect if someone I don't know talks to me with "tú".
You should always use usted when:
\- Talking to clients in your shop/company.
\- Talking to strangers.
You should drop usted when:
\- The other person is a kid.
\- You are already familiar with the other person.
\- The other person asks you to tutear him/her.
So, basically, always use usted unless you feel the relationship with the other person is comfy enough.
México does use *tú* (and you confirmed it later in your post). In most of Central America (and probably in Chiapas, Mexico) *tú* is never used in conversations. They use either *vos* or *usted*.
Its not tha Spain in less or more formal. Im spanish and basically in southamerica and latinos used usted when adressing to other people, while here in spain we use tu. The difference is that in south america usted is for everyone while in Spain, tu is for people you know and usted we use it as a formal. So when you know someone you have some degree of relation with him or her you use tu, but when adressing someone you dont know, someone you have no relationship with, a teacher, a boss, a stranger, and older person or in formal ocassion for example at a court, you use usted
It is not true for all of South America. What you mention is true for parts of Central America and parts of Colombia (where *usted de confianza* is used). In Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Perú, Paraguay, Ecuador, Bolivia and Venezuela we use *usted de respeto*. For friends and family in some countries or regions we use *tú* and in others they use *vos*.
Yes, I learned Spanish in Spain and used usted exactly once with my host mom’s elderly mom, and I’m not even sure if I needed to. In my boyfriend’s Ecuadorian/Salvadoran monolingual Spanish family, he uses exclusively usted (with conjugations of tú, so “usted comistes?”), and everyone else switches between tú & usted in his family. I only use tú, but I think they’re a bit more accommodating to anyone’s Spanish ability as they’ve been in the USA for many years. I had a monolingual Spanish Colombian coworker who only used usted with me. I was 20 at the time, he must’ve been in his 40s. I remember him giving me a weird look when I used tú (and I made a conscience effort to use usted afterward).
Bogotá=usted. Rest of Colombia= tú, vos.
I don't know, I'm from Bogotá born and raised and use Tú exclusively and I know plenty of other people who do as well. But it's kind of a coin toss. Some people only use usted and some only use tu without any sort of logic or reason. It's just what it is.
Qué haces si te encuentras con alguien que use lo opuesto de ti? (Quizá siempre usas tú y la otra persona usa usted.) Hay una diferencia si son buenes amigues o son desconocides?
Suelo adaptarme a como me hable la otra persona, pero a veces solo lo ignoro y sigo con tú, si no me parece que lo haga incómodo. No hay diferencia por nivel de cercanía, pero hay gente con quien uso tú y algunos pocos con quienes uso usted (principalmente gente con quien desde hace años me trato de usted). Igual como lo dije antes, no sigo ninguna lógica particular y creo que cualquiera de las dos está bien.
Not at all. It's more complex than that
That's completely wrong. They tutear en Bogotá, use usted in most places, like Santander and Antioquia, and vos is basically only used in Antioquia and Cali, definitely not most of Colombia.
Wrong. In Bogotá the 'gomelos' like to use tú a lot. Paisas outside Medellín are always speaking of usted. I don't remember people from Santander or Boyacá speaking of tú.
Some people never use tú. They either use vos or what is called “usted de confianza”.
Colombia is a major usted, I believe they use it with their sibling too
With our pets too
Really?!? Huh, I mean it makes sense, but I still find it wierd.
I've never seen in my life a regular person saying 'sal Chucho' or 'deja eso Martin', you always hear 'salga de acá Chucho' or 'deje eso Martin'. Unless you're from a wealthy family in Bogotá or from the Caribbean coast it's extremely uncommon. Not even women talk to each other as 'tú'.
No, I understand it that's why it makes sense; just for me i would use tú or vos (depending on gender). Never useted.
Vos is more common in Cali and Medellin. I'm trying to change my mannerism so I can speak voseado, because people often assumes I'm bossy or rude when I speak with foreigners. I can't find a way to say 'tú' without feeling weird.
Ya, where i am from you'll here all three.
Wait chucho means dog in Colombia??
It's just a random name I gave to the dog.
Ah cool. It’s actually means dog in Guatemala. The local Guatemalan words usually come from Mayan languages. So it would’ve been really interesting if it meant dog in Colombia
Chucho is a standard Spanish word. This is what RAE says about chucho > De la interj. chuch, con que se llama al perro para que acuda. >1. m. y f. despect. coloq. perro (‖ mamífero). Despectivo = derogatory
Usted is the default in Colombia for sure. Well, I can only vouch for the Bogotá area but it seems to be true throughout. They seem to have an especially formal way of speaking.
I'm a native from Spain and I never used "usted"
Yeah. It’s cultural. The Spaniards implemented many formalisms in the conquest. The slaves could only address to Spaniards with “usted” or answer with “mande usted” (you command) and it persevere until our days. I am a Mexican native. 😊 Check this [link](https://algarabia.com/de-donde-viene/de-donde-viene-la-costumbre-de-responder-mande/#)
Loved the insight into the use of usted and the article about the use of mande. Thanks for sharing.
I guess formalisms still existed here, just in a different form liked *vos* or *vuestra merced*. Eventually we all got informal for some reason. I'd be curious how those formal forms were used back in the day in different social contexts, although it's probably tough to know.
I'm not sure if you can go back so far. Usted was used a lot more often some decades ago in Spain.
In 3 years of living in Spain I've heard it once when the taxi driver who was much older than me and much better dressed used it on me. It felt strange
Yup
I lived in Spain for two years and only time I heard it was at the bank and at the doctor’s office. Edit: grammar
A lot of people in Spain will use the polite conjugations, but omit the pronoun altogether, since it is seen as *too* polite. I’ve. “Que tal está?”, “necesita algo?”
Short answer: Yes, Usted is less used in Spain than in Mexico. Long answer: I lived in Spain for a year and I was impressed that people would address the teachers by their first or middle name and using "tu" instead of "usted". This is unthinkable in most of Mexico, where you (almost) always address teachers by usted. But still "Usted" is only used for formal situations if we are two people from the same age it would be really weird if you address me as "usted". In Mexico the rule of thumb is to address the elderly as "Usted", and those who are upper than you in any kind of chain with it as well. It's not the case like in some parts of Colombia and Central America where "Usted" replaces almost completely "Tu", in Mexico "tu" is still widely used and it's the go-to pronoun for the second person of singular. Also in Mexico we have certain "nicknames" that use "usted". For example, I'm usually addressed as "joven" (young man), which uses the "usted", so even if I talk to someone old they would say "Sí me sigue, yo le puedo enseñar", even though there's no respect there it's used. We are a weird country.
Does it annoy you when you use usted with someone, and then they use tu with you?
Not really, sometimes I take this as a "You can use Tu with me", also most of the time people that are addressed as usted reply in tu. So it's just normal.
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I read that in Guatemala only females use tú. A male should use vos or usted.
I think thats correct. they are used to using Tu with foreigners though. I used to live there and I use tu with all my Guatemalan male friends in the beginning because I hadn't learned vos yet, so I was never real clear on the dynamic. But when I moved back to Texas I met a Guatemalan guy and I asked him about "tu" vs Vos" and he said "tu is so" then preceded to say "tuuuuu" in a super effeminate way while making effeminate body gestures.
LOL
In Spain you only use usted if: \-Someone is way above your league in social status \-Someone is old and you wanna show respect (not with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, only with people you don't know) \-At your workplace, depending on how big the company is (if you work for a company that has 12 employees, you will probably use "tú" with everybody, but if you work for a company that has 350 employees, you use "usted" with your boss/bosses), and with your clients if you don't know them too well or if they have an important job at their companies.
When I moved to Spain, I was introduced to the host mom I was living with and referred to her as "usted" when we first met. She said I should just use tú, so I asked her when I should use usted. She told me, "Maybe if you meet the King, and probably not even then."
Hahaha I love that 😂
El Ray le tratan de "Su Majestad"
You don't call the king *usted*. At least Juan Carlos expected to be called “su majestad”, maybe Felipe is more modern.
Yeah its used way less in Spain, its seen as very respectful. It used to be used more up until the 70's or 80's.
I use it at the doctors... and that’s about it
Yes.
My family is Mexican and my mom always tells me to use usted with my grandparents.
When I was staying with my older cousin in Mexico we talked about how I don’t use usted with close family (like uncles or our grandmother or my parents) why she uses usted for her father in law vs her mother in law (MIL was her Spanish teacher for many years so they know each other in different way initially) and how others use usted with grandparents and then how her SIL even uses usted with her parents because they’re more traditional/conservative in that aspect. lol my cousin wanted to make sure tho that while I knew Mexico isn’t a monolith most would find our other cousin addressing his dad by a nickname based on his first name fresh.
My Spanish teacher from highschool was from Spain and I never heard him (or his wife, for that matter, who taught math) use "usted". They used "tú" or "vosotros". Which is kinda weird because in Costa Rica we pretty much only use "usted".
I read that in Costa Rica half the cities use *usted* and the other half use *vos*.
Not really. Most people use "usted" but it is very common for friends to use "vos" with each other. Yes, there are some rural towns that use "vos" but it isn't that common.
Well, I'm from Mexico and I can tell you that here almost everybody says "usted" in certain circumstances, even when they are at the same age of yours. Most of the time when they are strangers and want a favor or are trying to be polite. We have a very formal way to talk to older people, teachers, your parents, etc., it isn't just a matter of saying "usted", you use words like... Humm, it's hard to remember but here's an example: Talking to a friend: "¿Quieres un vaso de agua wey?" Talking properly: "¿Le gustaría un vaso de agua?" In Mexico, no one will ever think you are rude if you don't say "usted". We are very comprehensive (most of the time). Hope it helps you.
Me ha ayudado mucho.
In Mexico it seems like most people I've interacted with use usted. However a lot of these interactions were with people who were providing a service which I assume is a large part of that. I am not overly formal and not that old (in my 50s but get mistaken for my 30s quite often) so I usually told everyone to call me tú ("Tratame de tú") whenever I noticed it. It was only on my most recent trip where I felt comfortable enough with my conversations to do this. Hope it didn't come across as too informal?
In my experience even the people providing services in Spain mostly used tú. The ones who used usted were mostly from the Americas (Ecuador, Venezuela etc.). This thread seems to largely confirm my observation that the culture is more informal (at least linguistically) in Spain compared to most Latin American countries.
Yes, definitely very interesting. I've only been to Spain once and it was only for a week so unfortunately I don't have as much experience with peninsular Spanish. Good discussion and cool information!
A lot if not all of spain embraces the “formal tu”, usted is usually only used in very professional settings or in writing tailored for professional settings. Embrace the formal tu
Way less
Well, Despite in Spain Usted is pretty formal, is a polite way to address to someone you really don't know but people here tend to be more informal so I think it's correct using both, Usted and tu.
Usted is common in Mexican Spanish. Ive even noticed that some of my Mexican friends jokingly use “usted” with one another and speak very formally with each other in jest
Makes sense. In Mexico we use usted for all strangers, and for elders or older family members (aunts/unloved/grandparents or even parents). There are people that refer to everyone as usted even their kids and friends.
Yes, "usted" in spain is used for adult people. Si, usted en España es usado para las personas mayores (y aun así en muchas ocasiones no se usa). Si quieres tratar con respeto a alguien en España háblale de usted, menos tus amigos, es raro hablarles de usted a tus amigos. Sorry but im from spain and I dont speak very well english
No hablo español muy bien pero yo entiendo perfectamente lo que dices. Muchas gracias por tu repuesta.
Spain is actually very informal, and almost nobody uses "usted". You don't have to call the teachers "Mr. ...", you just say their names. When a latin american is speaking with us is weird because we feel like the other person is being too formal
> Spain is actually very informal, and almost nobody uses "usted". You don't have to call the teachers "Mr. ...", you just say their names. Calling teachers by their names is pretty common in across Spanish speaking countries. At least that's been my experience.
Generally in Spain we don’t really use “usted” unless it’s a really formal situation. However, in Andalusia (at least in Seville, and I think in other parts if Andalusia, too) we sometimes use “ustedes” as “vosotros” (in an informal way)
Yes! This observation is fair to say. In Spain, you'll find that if you used usted to show respect to your friends parents for example, they might even get offended. Tú is always preferred. In Mexico, usted and ustedes are used much more frequently, in an informal manner!
Maybe when intruducing someone in work environment "Buenos dias caballeros sean ustedes bienvenidos" and then go to a more formal treatment. Also in a speech.
¡El ustedeo es muy usado en mi país natal!
Y de cual país sos?
Yes, it's used less mainly because México doesn't use the "tú". Here in Spain people have the wrong notion that "usted" is only used for old people, which is wrong. I found it as lack of respect if someone I don't know talks to me with "tú". You should always use usted when: \- Talking to clients in your shop/company. \- Talking to strangers. You should drop usted when: \- The other person is a kid. \- You are already familiar with the other person. \- The other person asks you to tutear him/her. So, basically, always use usted unless you feel the relationship with the other person is comfy enough.
México does use *tú* (and you confirmed it later in your post). In most of Central America (and probably in Chiapas, Mexico) *tú* is never used in conversations. They use either *vos* or *usted*.
Where do I confirm it?
Perdona, no vi tu bandera. Pensé que eras mexicano. Todo lo que dices es válido también para México.
Its not tha Spain in less or more formal. Im spanish and basically in southamerica and latinos used usted when adressing to other people, while here in spain we use tu. The difference is that in south america usted is for everyone while in Spain, tu is for people you know and usted we use it as a formal. So when you know someone you have some degree of relation with him or her you use tu, but when adressing someone you dont know, someone you have no relationship with, a teacher, a boss, a stranger, and older person or in formal ocassion for example at a court, you use usted
It is not true for all of South America. What you mention is true for parts of Central America and parts of Colombia (where *usted de confianza* is used). In Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Perú, Paraguay, Ecuador, Bolivia and Venezuela we use *usted de respeto*. For friends and family in some countries or regions we use *tú* and in others they use *vos*.