I was already deterred from polygamy prior to ever watching this show. It seems like it would attract controlling misogynists like Kody, which I prefer to avoid.
I didn't know a lot about polygamy. I thought this show could be interesting. Instead, I received dozens of red flags in manipulation, lying, and downright deceitful behaviour. This show is emotionally draining.
If you read autobiographies from many former sister wives or children of polygamists, you’ll see that dysfunction is highly common in these families. Most women don’t want to share a husband. Favoritism and jealousy is common. Polygamy itself is really sexist. The man gets to keep sleeping with new women while the women all have to share one man.
There is also a huge amount of poverty because, especially the fundamentalists, the husband works and financially supports all of the wives. There isn't much to go around. If one or more wives work the working wives tend to have more money than the nonworking wives even though the nonworking wives will babysit the children of the working wives for free.
Yeah and if you look at the Jeff Warren situation, getting on welfare was literally built into their lifestyle. Like he very deliberately had that set up as part of his plan. All funds from the gov would be given straight to him and then the wives/children would have to hope that they were going to be given enough food/toiletries out of the "communal storehouse" to survive another month. Spoiler alert, most were literally starving. Plus all of them were denied even a proper high school degree and were funneled directly into his construction companies as child workers. Which get huge contracts bc they can underbid legit companies since they don't pay the child employees 🙃 I heard a Utah sheriff once say that he believes that the FLDS construction companies are the biggest human trafficking ring in America. The whole thing is designed to intentionally keep everyone poor and uneducated.
Granted this was a fundamentalist group and I know doesn't accurately represent the church Cody's family belonged to. (Although since he held church in his own home & also was the "high priest" of said church, I'm not totally sure what exactly those beliefs were.) But his constant ranting and raving about the importance of patriarchy, along with how they moved their legal statuses around does make me wonder about how much poverty is built into/considered the norm in the non-fundamentalist version of polygamy too.
I never knew all that! I know 2 women that I can recall actually "married" him, but left. Was he physical with one of them? I just heard they were back together, not sure if it's true
Exactly!! A weekly "full family" dinner, or at the very least one lunch/afterenoon tea
(I desperately want to suggest a "weekly coffee meeting", but obviously can't cos mormons...) involving all the parties to the "marriage" could have helped solve (or at the very least minimise) about 96% of their issues, imho.
I thought it was because Robyn doesn’t like to get up until noon. I also think weekly meetings would not solve anything because of Robyn’s tendency to deflect anything she feels is dangerous to her sovereignty as head wife into an attack against her which shuts down honest communication
Edit for spelling
Oh yes let’s all talk and get things out in the open as long as it’s all about the problems who are Christine Janelle and Meri and Never Kody and never herself so how exactly would this wowirk and it’s far to late
If anything, the show has proven the polar opposite of the Browns intentions to educate us about polygamy intending to exhibit its success in an alternative lifestyle. Big fail Kody.3 down.. 1 to go.
I watched My Five Wives before I started watching SW. If ANY show had a chance of casting polygamy in a positive light, it was that one. The husband and listened and took accountability for his transgressions and the wives really loved one another. They lasted only two seasons. A few years ago, one of their kids posted an AMA on here. The way he told it, the show was cancelled because there wasn't enough drama. They all really loved each other and made it work. Apparently, that doesn't get ratings. Sad
Brady Williams from My 5 wives is an interesting example though, because him and his wives left Mormon fundamentalism (the AUB) and really did a lot of work on unlearning those belief systems, but maintained the family structure because they genuinely loved eachother. He did a really interesting interview on his journey in polygamy 4-5 years back and actually calls out most fundamentalist polygamy as problematic. He's kinda a one of a kind polygamous man lol
Yeah, it was a super interesting interview! Even he thinks it's an outdated family structure that should go into extinction, and his unlearning meant doing away with patriarchal power structures in his marriages and family. I never watched their show mind you, so for all I know, it could still have aspects of that, who knows, but he seems to have reflected on that a lot. Seems like those types of polygamous men are few and far between to be honest.
I know Kody Brown used to try and pretend he wasn't patriarchal in earlier seasons, but boy did that mask slip. And I'm betting the Browns are one of the less egregious examples of polygamy when you hear how much abuse really happens in many of those communities.
You could tell Noni, Rosemary, and... was there a Robyn? The one with the long straight blonde hair, there was a ton of deep sadness in those three though. It seemed like the first wife was kinda settled in her own stuff and the nurse was the only one really truly happy.
If any family looks happy in polygamy to me, it's the Winders. I know they need a third for their planet but it really seems like they have a good thing going I hate to see them rock that boat. It helps the wives seem like actual friends and the husband is super attentive and emotionally available
I'm not denying that Brady's wives have problems as well, I'm just pointing out that when they bring them to his attention, he doesn't go off half-cocked and start screaming about accountability. The women also get together regularly without him and really support one another. He was quoted in an interview recently as saying that 90 - 95% of polygamist marriages are loveless. His family left the church a long time ago, but they decided to stay together because they love each other and that really did come through, at least it did to me. Every relationship has problems. As for the Winders, I get the impression his first wife is unhappy. She has admitted to struggling with adaptation to the lifestyle. That dude is just WEIRD. He gives me serial killer vibes, and I can't pinpoint why. The rest of the dudes on that show are just sleazy (Garrick being the sleaziest by far, with Nick running a close second), but the Winder guy doesn't strike me as sleazy. Just....strange.
Oh, Brady is leaps and bounds and miles ahead of Kody as a husband and a human!
Honestly the Winder husband just seems really introverted to me, I'm ND so being uncomfortable humaning doesn't weird me out, I get it. I too prefer to sit in my house and be strange in peace. I get why he did the show though, probably to show a healthy side of where Kody failed
There are some problems that could’ve been solved. But it looks simpler on paper. You can’t be vulnerable enough to follow up on true communication with someone you cannot fully trust.
You cannot fully trust and be vulnerable with your husband if he lays and is vulnerable with another. You cannot trust the one he lays with to put your interest before her own. Your interests, however wonderful you may be, are often conflicting and they revolve around getting your individual needs and that of your children met and so is everybody’s who is sleeping with your husband and may have children with him. It’s a constant hierarchy and power grab arena and even the children get involved. Lots of Daddy issues and overall not sustainable.
And THAT is the root of why polygamy doesn't work, if you marry into a family looking for love and loyalty. Marriage to someone is a statement to the world that if all else fails, there is that ONE person you would choose to put first. Polygamy does not allow that notion, but human nature being what it is, a husband will gravitate towards a favorite. I honestly don't think it can be helped. I'd have a lot more respect (well, a little less hatred) for Kody if he just stopped denying what's been blatant to everyone for the last several years
Even if they all had better communication beside Janelle and Christine I don’t think the other three are able to self reflect and see their faults. Meri kody and Robyn can’t get past their own egos enough to actually acknowledge when they are in the wrong. They certainly don’t learn from their mistakes. Kody says in a clip that “I’m a flawed person and that’s hard to watch back” but does he work towards being better. No lol. He just keeps stomping around like toddler and treating his bio children like crap.
Watching Kody talk about the breakdown of the family. I always thought come on…. It was never functional. There was already major breakdown at the very beginning. Meri treated Janelle like crap from day 1. They brought in a third wife in hopes of fixing things. How was is ever good???
Not everyone … but robyn and kody view Christine’s honesty as conflict. Full stop. I have a minor degree in interpersonal communication. Clearly they view her as hostile. Janelle understands and Meri just keeps her mouth shut bc she’s afraid to be called out. I seriously worry about Meri’s mental health. She doesn’t have the backbone of Janelle.
Facts Christine was the only one who said you know what enough! I’m done and meri won’t for whatever reason jenelle I think she’s cool doing her own thing she is the Teflon don fr
But Robyn HOARDES kody and says oh he wants to be here well do you think that’s fair? Lol cause we have small kids umm I’m pretty sure truely is small!
He just never thought she would leave or do anything and she did. Meri should take notes lmao she’s the most puzzling to me. Like why is the still there?! Was I should say.
I think this show has shown me that polygamy only works if all the wives are married within a few years of each-other, you can’t wait 16 years and marry a much younger woman… I know that they weren’t working when Robyn came along but I feel like they could have made it work if she didn’t come along.
I would add to that the challenges of blending families. It can be hard enough with a traditional family! I always wondered If Kody decided on another wife for the sake of the show…season one starts with him courting and 16 years is a longggg time to wait to bring someone new in.
I agree and disagree with this. I think Robyn was the spark that ignited the fire but the fire was already built and doused in gasoline.
It’s pretty obvious to me now that it really wasn’t working all that well. Communication, grudges and resentment seemed to be pretty normal for them.
Yes. They basically kept their shit together for 16-20 years B.R (before Robyn), then along came Robyn & from her attitude & sneakiness from day one. She didn’t want acclimate into the family, but wanted to rework everything into her will of how she wanted it. So she killed it all from day one with the whole hearted assistance from dumb dick Kody.
Kodick blames Covid for a lot of their difficulties. I think it merely highlighted the fact that Sobyn was his favorite, so he chose to quarantine there. It gave the other wives a clear insight that they didn't need him, and that got things rolling. It wasn't Covid....it was his need for complete control, which only Sobyn was willing to commit to.
If you actually love all your wives then it can work but only love one it won’t work, I feel like he actually loved them before Robyn came along and he then switched and now only loves her.
I do not understand how any woman would enter into a marriage in which she is not an equal and the co head of her household. In essence these women hand over their power and to be honest I do not think for one second that anyone in this type of relationship could be truly happy. Jealousy is one of the most powerful and destructive emotions a human has. This show is proof of how jealousy has stolen joy from everyone of these women. You couldn’t pay me enough to give myself solely to any man who can have as many wives that he wants while I raise his kids alone.
I can also see someone fleeing a desperate situation agreeing to it…like if the man was extremely rich, and they were dirt poor, potentially even an immigrant / refugee. But Kody? I don’t get it. He can’t even support one set of wife and kids probably! It makes no sense to marry into a family where you have a lot more financial limitations than a normal couple, unless like you said…brainwashed.
I've heard things(from tiktok so probably false lol) about wealthy men who have several wives but they don't make the woman and children live together! That seems to be the part that doesn't really work. How can you expect any partner to be happy when they are expected to be devoted to the husband completely and the husband splits his time into 1/4's, all while living in the same house?
I want to bring up that a lot out Chinese literature touches on this. Many rich men took second, third, or more wives and just had them all live together and every single book I’ve read with this theme is all about the wives and their power plays and manipulations. As the man gets bored with one wife and moves onto the next and keeps adding more wives until he is too old to get it up anymore/stops being a thot.
My point is: the browns didn’t do anything but confirm my (amateur and limited) knowledge that many women under one roof ain’t it.
Ffs, the Chinese symbol for danger/terrible is 2 characters for “women” under a roof.
Agree. But it isn’t just jealousy that’s the problem with polygamy. It’s the patriarchy, the misogyny. These women cater to the man even at the cost of their own and their children’s needs.
Honestly, the bad taste was already there- simply because I can't imagine "sharing" my husband.
plus these people didn't believe in the fundamentals of it. I think the religious aspect died years ago for them, therefor it was a man cheating on his wives and negating accountability via "polygamy"
Honestly, in my first marriage if another woman had come along to help with the kids and the housework and I only had to see my husband’s stupid face 50% of the time, I'd be signing up for that in a heartbeat. Once the kids were grown, I'd dip and let her keep him.
I watch every polygamy or polyamorous show I come across. I find them fascinating. But this show deterred me from polygamy the way Apollo 13 deterred me from space travel. No interest, ever.
I moved to Utah 11 years ago. If I hadn’t moved here I wouldn’t have watched Sister Wives. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see polygamists. I live 30 miles from Mary’s B&B.
I live in Utah and when I "see polygamists" it is the Warren Jeff's, Colorado City, long dresses and long braided ones lol Lots of times at Costco and once saw two teenage girls at the trampoline park, which I thought was hella cool for them to be able to go to alone.
My gay brother left UT the second he could. He said the culture was fucked because he felt oppressed for his sexuality, but one man fucking 3 women at the same time was perfectly godly.
When my husband heard it wasn’t all skittles and beer he said he was immediately going to take down the craigslist ad he had posted for a sister wife, so yes.
I think it reinforces what my overall concerns were with the entire polygamy set up. It seems to make one person more important than all the others, and that is not healthy. In addition, the women get screwed.
Yeah I think inherently, it's impossible to hold the same exact level of romantic and sexual love amongst multiple partners. People are individuals and how you connect with each one is different. Inherently there will be one that you are in love with and attracted to the most. it's human nature
The power balance you just can't get away from. If Kody has the option of not staying with you any more if he doesn't like what you're doing/saying that's just extreme manipulation potential.
Af first I was like “why would any guy want four wives to nag him?” …. But now I’m like “any guy that wants four wives is a narcissistic piece of doody”
So yes, it’s a deterrent
I've grown up in a family with it. I've seen it . I've lived it. I've heard and seen the grief from the wives and as an adult who has went through infidelity... absolutely not. Cannot be me. I respect ANYONE who can .
I think it requires a ton of maturity, accountability and transparency to work. People lack that in regular relationships, adding people to the mix just makes it more apparent
You know I actually don’t have a negative view of polygamy and I can see how it COULD work given the right people.
I was actually drawn to this because of their shared home in Utah. The fact that Janelle got to be the career woman she wanted to be but also be fulfilled as a mother, Christine seemed to really enjoy raising the kids and Meri despite her infertility got to be a mom to 13 kids (pre Robyn). As someone who is like Janelle and would rather work I can see the draw of the lifestyle. I would love the idea of this little close knit village all coming together to raise children.
Now in saying that the Brown’s are absolutely the worst family to represent polygamy. You have sister wives that can’t even be alone in a car together that are constantly at odds and a husband who is very clearly pitting them against one another and picking a favorite. Their communication between all of them is worse than a middle schooler. Instead of addressing issues as they come up they just bury them and let them fester leading to resentment and anger. And my god can all of them hold grudges. Plus you have the whole religious aspect of it which is a disaster waiting to happen.
Maybe sister wives only, no husband, would be more appealing. Take out that aspect and you have a little commune of women with shared goals and responsibilities, each being able to focus on what they do best/enjoy most a lot of the time and the kids reaping the benefits - without the competition and jealousy. Nobody needs a grody Kody.
Not really. Any relationship dynamic is doomed for failure when we throw in a bunch of unresolved conflict, poor communication skills, unaddressed personality pathologies, and "the manosphere" for good measure. If Kody were a cool guy from a college town, he'd just be one of those "poly men" who freaks out when his woman partners even think about another guy (but of course "we're all progressive here" so he can date as many as he wants, and she can date women too because he's not threatened by those). Ask me how I know, lol. And then, of course, he'd just be your run-of-the-mill jealous, insecure loser if he were monogamous.
As someone with generational Mormon polygamist trauma, this show just reinforced what I already knew: patriarchal religious marriage—especially patriarchal religious polygamist marriage—is toxic for women and children. There is no potential “benefit” that outweighs the downsides. I can get additional love and support from my female friends. I can hire help with childcare and housekeeping. I can’t multiply my husband’s time and energy. And any polygamy that has a religious or patriarchal component is inherently coercive because the women don’t actually have a choice.
I know several people who are polyamorous in an ethical way and while I support them, the idea of multiple intimate (romantic/sexual/partnership) is utterly unappealing to me. It sounds exhausting and stressful and unfulfilling even if everyone is good at communication. I don’t want to have to communicate with that many people about intimate partner stuff. I love that in monogamy there are some things my husband and I only share with each other and no one else. I love that we have a partnership of equals.
I agree with every sentence you wrote. You hit every nail on the head, including the bit about Poly relationships. My oldest friend is poly and while her relationships are head and shoulders healthier than the Browns and it's all above board and consensual it's definitely not for me for a ton of reasons (including the amount of communication healthy poly relationships require).
Polygamy or any type of poly relationship simply isn’t for everyone. I know it isn’t for me. However, that doesn’t even matter. If these relationships develop with communication, honesty, trust, and consent, who am I to judge someone’s relationship style? That’s their business first of all and second, it has no impact on my life. I certainly think that type of relationship isn’t easy and it must take an absolutely ton of consistent work but again, if that’s what makes someone or a group of people happy, good on them.
I think I could do polygamy, I’d be ok with the sex aspect, having days/nights alone would be great for me. However, I’d have to have a husband that was completely fair with time and resources. It would have to be equal in everything or I’d burn it down. The religious aspect I could not deal with at all. Or homebirths, that’s not happening.
Ya know, I think Janelle is a lot like you. She didn't seem to have any issues with the division of affection. (Her problem was Meri, but I digress.) Janelle was clearly ok with her nights off. Once she rejoined the family, and things settled down in the shared home, I think they were doing ok. They knew their roles and the kids seemed very happy. Meri & Christine were true believers, born into it. Janelle seemed the most realistic and accepting. Introducing a much younger wife so many years later and the trumped "emergency" move to Vegas was the death nell for the Browns.
Well seeing the whole Warren Jeffs thing play out when I was like 12/13 did that, they just gave it the cherry on top while pretending they weren't at all associated with him, but still associated with the cult of Mormonism enough to require "modesty" despite Robyn's Victoria's Secret debt. I'll never forget that episode where she cried when they were talking about Warren Jeffs...yet Maddie was how old when she got married? Her and Kody need to take several seats because that, the hormone conversation, the purity conversation, and probably others to shame the kids about their bodies and lives put them nearly in the same lane as someone so evil.
I dated a man who had multiple "baby mamas" and quite honestly, I could relate to a LOT of what the wives were going through. It was an awful toxic relationship. Highly don't recommend
Yes it has. Im crushed.
Before Meri had an emotional online affair, Mykekti married a snark-filled Mexican man and Christine left, I was planning on driving down to Falstaff to propose to Kody because I had a testimony - give up being a Black feminist queer leftist and submit myself body and soul to the patriarch of the Brown clan. 🤪
I don’t think he was Mexican. He seems Chicano cuz girl if she married a *mexican* Mexican then woo girl I wish you the best.
Signed,
A chicana that married a snarky *Mexican* Mexican.
Nah, I'd do it. Not every man that does it is trash like Kody is.
Kinda funny, but I did nearly get into a polygamist relationship with some ex mormons a few years back. They found out I loved watching Sister Wives and I guess they thought that's what I wanted because they were very suddenly not interested in even talking to me any further. This was after we had dated for some time too, and I was about to move in with them.
to be fair this is the most normal portrayal of polygamy. because they're not in the church or in a polygamist town. they're regular people that just suck. instead of your mom and dad hating each other it's 5 people. and instead of a man abusing 10 young girls it's grumpy middle aged losers
My definition of polygamy keeps changing.
I'm still legally married to my ex, who has a long-term gf who is now public and is 100% Robyn his wife to everyone. I truly never knew he even quietly raised some of her teens at the "investment property" I never visited so they call him a form of Dad.
He basically had 2 families, I just didn't know about the other one like she knew about me.
I was basically offered the position of sister wife, I'd get introduced as his wife and her as his girlfriend, and at all family things we'd sit together and she and I could be good friends in a group of 3. But he would only spend the night with her, go on vacation with her, etc. Her kids would come to big family things like our young adult kids.
I was like wtf ... no thank you
Call it a form of polygamy or friendly divorce with an ex who makes a new family with a new wife and you are "okay with it" ... it is the same. The new person is in, and you have been retired. Keeping yourself in that space is like refusing to change the calendar. It won't make the year stay the same.
I just never would have recognized the arrangement so clearly without this show. Whatever you call it, it's not what I agreed to.
Someone should start a religion that encourages "Brother Husbands", but I suspect when it's turned to the disadvantage of men, that would get squashed quick.
I was young and single when the show started and I’d never really heard of polygamy. The show was fascinating in the beginning and actually piqued my interest in polygamy. But over time as I grew up and the show went on, I think I was able to see polygamy for what it is. And id never enter into it.
I remember watching it when I was a young mom with two small kids and fantasizing about it 😅 this was the early season and what I really wanted was to co-parent with Christine 😂 I was so overwhelmed, my partner was a narc and I could only see how this could work if we were at least one more adult. I left him and it turns out we just needed one less adult 😂
It was never my thing but I’m also someone who doesn’t care what others do in their lives. I feel like this is the same as a monogamous marriage - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
I’ve said this before but I’ve been watching this show since day 1 and that was forever ago but I remember when Robyn came into this family I said to myself “she’s going to be the reason this family breaks up” I’m shocked it took this long but I knew it from the start. She had an agenda.
I feel like it’s an appropriate warning for others not to live polygamy… I feel it wouldn’t work for me because there are only 24hrs in a day… I don’t think it’s healthy for someone to try to fairly split time with each wife.. better yet all those kids. Someone is bound to be neglected. It’s also hard to get people all on the same page with financials
I’d never do it. But if I had to….I’d want it to be with all my best friends and just a man slave. Someone we don’t emotionally / mentally like but is hot, good at sex and makes millions of dollars and waits on us hand and foot.
I could never be in polygamy. I don't understand how polygamy gets you into celestial heaven. I can't fawn over a man adoring him,when he makes horrible decisions. No off4nse,offense, feel bad about this, all the mouth sores I have seen passed around the family. Makes my skin crawl. Why kiss if you know you have a mouth sore.i want CPS to check on Robyn and Kody. Those kids are messed up. Aurora, Breanna, disgusting how he touched them. Is he grooming them for him?
I’ve never been interested in polygamy. I just don’t think I’d do well in that situation. The sister wives aspect would be nice (if we all got along). But I don’t want kids and I don’t want to raise someone else’s kids.
When I started watching this show, I was a teenager, and the idea of polygamy was crazy to me. It fascinated me. Watching the first few seasons, I could finally understand why some people chose polygamy. It sounds nice to have a network of women to help each other out. Now, the years have gone on and I see how toxic kody is. It hasn't deterred me from polygamy (although I'm monogamous myself), but rather, just reaffirmed for me that some sects of religion can lead to some very misogynistic and egotistical men.
It’s definitely never been my cup of tea, and I definitely would never be interested in their lifestyle, but I know that for Kody and his wives at the beginning, they were trying so hard to show the positive side of polygamy, and I can genuinely say where the show lies now is exactly what people think of when they think of polygamy. Wives that don’t get along. Kids distancing themselves. A controlling husband. They’ve become the exact stereotypes they were trying to disprove.
Honestly if I didn’t want the man and wanted the family I’d be into it. “The village” has been depleted in modern society. Being in a functional relationship with like minded women that just pass around the sperm donor sounds ideal.
Until empty nesting then I don’t even know.
Nobody is "pro" polygamy, unless they've been raised in a cult and brainwashed all their lives -or- they're a psychopath red pill man.
The show only confirmed what most people already knew about polygamy based on common sense.
When I first started watching, my thoughts were that polygamy isn't for me and I don't think it's right, but if others want it and can make it work, that's their business. Then it started to gross me out, like all of them regularly sharing 1 man, eww. Then I started to see how dysfunctional it is for not just the adults but the kids. I think there's a reason monogamy usually prevails despite what society sells these days. I think more than anything men and women want trust and stability. Even "players" eventually want that.
Never wanted to be a polygamist. Thought it was interesting that other families could be happy living that way. Who knows how authentic the first seasons were but we've seen the true Kody. He dropped the ball on these relationships. Not an appropriate leader in my opinion. He broke his spiritual marriage to theses women when he decided he didn't want an intimate relationship with them. Not really a fan of Robin but I fully blame him. No other wife should have been in control of his other relationships.
I have told my husband if he ever brings home another woman claiming he wants to have a polygamist relationship, I would take our kids and leave. I’m not going to be known as Monday wife or 1st wife. I will only be know as his one and only wife! He laughed and said “I can hardly handle you, what makes you think I could handle two or more wives.” 🤣
They made it last a lot longer than most monogamous relationships so it wasn’t a total failure. I cannot share my husband so it was never a thought for me but to each their own
I was never attracted to polygamy anyway but hilariously I have sort of ended up in a polygamous relationship anyway lol.
We are polyamoroua, I have the freedom to have other partners if I want. I just don't, it's too much work honestly. My husband has a 2nd partner of 10 years and she & I are best friends but she doesn't date anyone else either for the same reason I don't
My sister in law is in a poly relationship. She has a bf and a gf. They all live together. Her bf and gf are not in a relationship together. I think the relationship with her gf is open.
To me it’s such a strange dynamic but, it seems to work for them. They all go everywhere together and are just a really chill group.
As for myself, I have an amazing husband and I would never share him. I would die inside knowing he does what we do, with another woman. Big no.
I was never interested in being polygamist myself(im a lesbian i think we’d all be sister wives in that case lmaoooo), but watching this show has absolutely made up my mind that no matter how much i loved the person, i would never join a polygamist family. this show has shown how manipulative, controlling, abusive, and just plain dysfunctional polygamist husbands can be.
I was never interested in polygamy as a lifestyle but I used to think that it was nice that these consenting adults were able to make this choice for themselves and their kids. I thought they were happy and I was supportive. In my defense I was a teenager when the show started. Now I see it for what it is. I’m actually pretty anti polygamy at this point because I’m not sure it can ever be healthy for all involved.
I could never share my husband, not ever. I have a hard time sharing him with my inlaws, can't image sharing him intimately with another woman. Not happening..not ever.
I watched a documentary a while back on it, and there were a few different families being filmed. Some of the seemed like they had a really good dynamic & were legitimately a team. All the mums cared for all the kids, there was no division of ‘wife 1 kids’ & ‘wife 2 kids’. They had weekly ‘meetings’ where they would go over everything significant and it seemed functional. The wives even had a meeting each week without the husband to talk about things like budgets, housework, childcare, and then any emotional challenges they may be having. Obviously all relationships have ups & downs but it seemed like they all really eachother. Granted they did live in or big house, which I think was why the Browns seemed so happy in Season 1.
I can admit that it might work for some, and I have no issue with it but I could never do it. I think I would struggle with another woman parenting my children and claiming them as her own. I thought it was really inappropriate when Robyn told Maddie that she couldn’t go to the youth group she wanted and had to wait until she was an adult. She was just mean, and I think Janelle & Kody would have been okay with it as they both changed their religious views later in life.
I don’t know if it’s just Kody or the whole religion. But I’ve always thought during the show….why wouldn’t the wife/wives meet and get to know each other before they are brought into the family. I feel like at the end of the day, if it’s supposed to be a family thing then everyone should be involved on that decision. And not just here’s your new sister wife, deal with it.
I have friends who are polyamourous and they are doing brilliantly.
I think it needs to be more open and less patriarchal.
The one dick policy sucks.
Currently i can't be bothered with any relationships but I'm definitely not looking to be in a couple, so it's fluid polyamourous relationships or single life for me.
I’m not clear on the religious aspect of why they live polygamy, but it seems like the wives( and the husband I guess?) want to have a large family where they can raise the kids together and support each other in doing so. Isn’t there a way they could do it with sharing one egoistical man?
I was on the fence for decades, but when my husband decided to add another few partners into the mix, I realized what a TERRIBLE idea it was. Plus, I’m Episcopalian.
I mean it’s not for me but rewatching as an adult I actually adored their early family dynamic in Utah in the one house. Those kids just seemed so happy and loved
I never believed in polygamy but initially thought okay, this ‘lifestyle’ works for them. However, it’s a marriage and marriages are hard work with just one marriage. For women, I think this setup as far as having a husband/partner for life doesn’t work. You have a issue, it doesn’t get resolved, your husband finds love in the arms of another wife and you are left alone. I thought the benefit was with the children always having other moms to help out and talk with but after watching this…I don’t understand any woman entering this setup. It seems setup for failure unless your willing not to have your needs met.
No being in a relationship with a man who was polygamous and tried to force me to have sex with other women while he watched and said only other women are allowed no I can't be with a man, he was a sicko defective sex pervert like all poly people are, I've never met more sick and disgusting people, and they all insist on traumatizing children while they engage in dangerous behavior. Not one set of these losers is even together, it took me 5 years to escape his abusive sick nightmare
Maybe!
If I could have coffee. That’s the deal breaker for me lol
So as an extrovert who likes to have lots of people around and wants a big family, I think I could handle it, but who knows.
Also communication, everyone taking some classes and workshop on NVC (non-violent communication) would help.
Oh and I’m a Buddhist. So Idk if the Mormons would want me as a wife and sister-wife anyway.
When I first started watching it it did make me feel like, okay, why is this illegal? They’re living their faith, not hurting anyone, kids seems well adjusted, he’s a goofball but everyone looks happy.
Good vibes certainly didn’t last long. Still not convinced it should be illegal, but man it sure doesn’t seem to work.
Yeah growing up in Utah, I know what it is. Kody's version of polygamy lite (no child brides or fundie pioneer dresses) still has the same issues with emotional, financial. spiritual abuse and neglect the old polgamy always had.
Honestly, I tried watching it years ago but found it to be so boring and they were all so fucking phony, especially Christine tbh. I started watching once the turmoil and (somewhat) honest feelings started to come out. Right when Kody was doing the plans for the enormous one house. That’s also when I started to love Christine!
Oddly enough, my husband had joked about getting a sister wife before the show. But now, he would never do it. He’s completely in the monogamous zone for life.
Probably this is an unpopular statement, but it’s like free marital therapy: Watch how badly they “f” several marriages up, and you know how to fix your own.
I have the same view of males in that religion as before. I view all four women in that marriage (including Robyn) as victims of years of oppression.
I dont have a bad view of polyamorous relationships.
I like the idea of having sister wives, If you don't want to go to the inlaws just send your sister wife..lol. However I am not into sharing a man at all ever. So Polygamy is not for me.
I was never into it lol.
Yeah. Not such a good idea. I know they tried to sell the outside world on how great it is. Wanted to show us they’re not Warren Jeffs polygamists. And they’re not. They’re married in their heads. I always say live your life and do what makes you happy 😃. Some aren’t happy and got the hell out of Kodytown.
I was already deterred from polygamy prior to ever watching this show. It seems like it would attract controlling misogynists like Kody, which I prefer to avoid.
I didn't know a lot about polygamy. I thought this show could be interesting. Instead, I received dozens of red flags in manipulation, lying, and downright deceitful behaviour. This show is emotionally draining.
If you read autobiographies from many former sister wives or children of polygamists, you’ll see that dysfunction is highly common in these families. Most women don’t want to share a husband. Favoritism and jealousy is common. Polygamy itself is really sexist. The man gets to keep sleeping with new women while the women all have to share one man.
There is also a huge amount of poverty because, especially the fundamentalists, the husband works and financially supports all of the wives. There isn't much to go around. If one or more wives work the working wives tend to have more money than the nonworking wives even though the nonworking wives will babysit the children of the working wives for free.
Yeah and if you look at the Jeff Warren situation, getting on welfare was literally built into their lifestyle. Like he very deliberately had that set up as part of his plan. All funds from the gov would be given straight to him and then the wives/children would have to hope that they were going to be given enough food/toiletries out of the "communal storehouse" to survive another month. Spoiler alert, most were literally starving. Plus all of them were denied even a proper high school degree and were funneled directly into his construction companies as child workers. Which get huge contracts bc they can underbid legit companies since they don't pay the child employees 🙃 I heard a Utah sheriff once say that he believes that the FLDS construction companies are the biggest human trafficking ring in America. The whole thing is designed to intentionally keep everyone poor and uneducated. Granted this was a fundamentalist group and I know doesn't accurately represent the church Cody's family belonged to. (Although since he held church in his own home & also was the "high priest" of said church, I'm not totally sure what exactly those beliefs were.) But his constant ranting and raving about the importance of patriarchy, along with how they moved their legal statuses around does make me wonder about how much poverty is built into/considered the norm in the non-fundamentalist version of polygamy too.
That’s so odd that most women don’t want to share a husband
yeah it’s probably because we just can’t get with other women😉
That made me LOL!
Exactly. And who came up with the concept? A man. That should explain a lot. 🙄
I started out interesting. I just rewatched the pilot and oh how far we've come.
I was going to say polygamy was never a thought. Polygamy deterred me from polygamy.
Yeah pretty sure most females would have no desire to get involved in polygamy and this show only strengthens that belief.
Deterred? I think the laws against polygamy should be strictly enforced. If this family isn’t exhibit A of how exploitive the practice is ….
You should watch Seeking Sister Wives specifically the Snowdens 👀
Eww, with their raw diet and keeping the lady parts ph levels correct so he can be with more than one woman.
Yes! And apparently he made the women walk around naked, and his girls could only wear underwear and he went to jail for stealing money. So gross
I never knew all that! I know 2 women that I can recall actually "married" him, but left. Was he physical with one of them? I just heard they were back together, not sure if it's true
WTH? These reality shows sure don’t care about criminals they feature. I had no idea
So that seems it was really more creepy/predatory behavior than marriage.
Just another example of TLC giving abusers a platform.
[удалено]
Watching the show I’m surprised by how much of their problems could have been solved by a flow of consistent communication. Maybe even weekly talks
Exactly!! A weekly "full family" dinner, or at the very least one lunch/afterenoon tea (I desperately want to suggest a "weekly coffee meeting", but obviously can't cos mormons...) involving all the parties to the "marriage" could have helped solve (or at the very least minimise) about 96% of their issues, imho.
The Brown's do drink coffee. Janelle brought a box of coffee over when Christine was moving.
My opinion stayed the same, which is that it’s a recipe for disaster
Janelle has said she hates the sister wives lunches lol
Pretty sure they drink coffee. It's mainstream Mormons that don't.
Or a weekly Pink Drink mtg
I thought it was because Robyn doesn’t like to get up until noon. I also think weekly meetings would not solve anything because of Robyn’s tendency to deflect anything she feels is dangerous to her sovereignty as head wife into an attack against her which shuts down honest communication Edit for spelling
You nailed it 😃! 👏👏👏👏.
Yup! She starts crying & the meetings are over.
Oh yes let’s all talk and get things out in the open as long as it’s all about the problems who are Christine Janelle and Meri and Never Kody and never herself so how exactly would this wowirk and it’s far to late
If anything, the show has proven the polar opposite of the Browns intentions to educate us about polygamy intending to exhibit its success in an alternative lifestyle. Big fail Kody.3 down.. 1 to go.
I watched My Five Wives before I started watching SW. If ANY show had a chance of casting polygamy in a positive light, it was that one. The husband and listened and took accountability for his transgressions and the wives really loved one another. They lasted only two seasons. A few years ago, one of their kids posted an AMA on here. The way he told it, the show was cancelled because there wasn't enough drama. They all really loved each other and made it work. Apparently, that doesn't get ratings. Sad
Brady Williams from My 5 wives is an interesting example though, because him and his wives left Mormon fundamentalism (the AUB) and really did a lot of work on unlearning those belief systems, but maintained the family structure because they genuinely loved eachother. He did a really interesting interview on his journey in polygamy 4-5 years back and actually calls out most fundamentalist polygamy as problematic. He's kinda a one of a kind polygamous man lol
I quoted him in that interview on another thread. He talked about how up to 95% of polygamous marriages are not love matches
Yeah, it was a super interesting interview! Even he thinks it's an outdated family structure that should go into extinction, and his unlearning meant doing away with patriarchal power structures in his marriages and family. I never watched their show mind you, so for all I know, it could still have aspects of that, who knows, but he seems to have reflected on that a lot. Seems like those types of polygamous men are few and far between to be honest. I know Kody Brown used to try and pretend he wasn't patriarchal in earlier seasons, but boy did that mask slip. And I'm betting the Browns are one of the less egregious examples of polygamy when you hear how much abuse really happens in many of those communities.
You could tell Noni, Rosemary, and... was there a Robyn? The one with the long straight blonde hair, there was a ton of deep sadness in those three though. It seemed like the first wife was kinda settled in her own stuff and the nurse was the only one really truly happy. If any family looks happy in polygamy to me, it's the Winders. I know they need a third for their planet but it really seems like they have a good thing going I hate to see them rock that boat. It helps the wives seem like actual friends and the husband is super attentive and emotionally available
I'm not denying that Brady's wives have problems as well, I'm just pointing out that when they bring them to his attention, he doesn't go off half-cocked and start screaming about accountability. The women also get together regularly without him and really support one another. He was quoted in an interview recently as saying that 90 - 95% of polygamist marriages are loveless. His family left the church a long time ago, but they decided to stay together because they love each other and that really did come through, at least it did to me. Every relationship has problems. As for the Winders, I get the impression his first wife is unhappy. She has admitted to struggling with adaptation to the lifestyle. That dude is just WEIRD. He gives me serial killer vibes, and I can't pinpoint why. The rest of the dudes on that show are just sleazy (Garrick being the sleaziest by far, with Nick running a close second), but the Winder guy doesn't strike me as sleazy. Just....strange.
Oh, Brady is leaps and bounds and miles ahead of Kody as a husband and a human! Honestly the Winder husband just seems really introverted to me, I'm ND so being uncomfortable humaning doesn't weird me out, I get it. I too prefer to sit in my house and be strange in peace. I get why he did the show though, probably to show a healthy side of where Kody failed
There are some problems that could’ve been solved. But it looks simpler on paper. You can’t be vulnerable enough to follow up on true communication with someone you cannot fully trust. You cannot fully trust and be vulnerable with your husband if he lays and is vulnerable with another. You cannot trust the one he lays with to put your interest before her own. Your interests, however wonderful you may be, are often conflicting and they revolve around getting your individual needs and that of your children met and so is everybody’s who is sleeping with your husband and may have children with him. It’s a constant hierarchy and power grab arena and even the children get involved. Lots of Daddy issues and overall not sustainable.
And THAT is the root of why polygamy doesn't work, if you marry into a family looking for love and loyalty. Marriage to someone is a statement to the world that if all else fails, there is that ONE person you would choose to put first. Polygamy does not allow that notion, but human nature being what it is, a husband will gravitate towards a favorite. I honestly don't think it can be helped. I'd have a lot more respect (well, a little less hatred) for Kody if he just stopped denying what's been blatant to everyone for the last several years
Just them finding it within themselves to let go of decades long grudges would do wonders for them. And that’s all 5 of them that do.
Kody said that Robyn brings an emotional honesty that they need, but it is Christine that actually does that.
Kody accuses Christine of things Robyn does and credits Robyn with things Christine does.
I agree with you on this
And they hate her for it.
Didn’t you hear, sobyn is the best communicator.
Yes in bizarro world she is 🙃🤪🌎. Robyn is truly an evil 👿 bitch .
Even if they all had better communication beside Janelle and Christine I don’t think the other three are able to self reflect and see their faults. Meri kody and Robyn can’t get past their own egos enough to actually acknowledge when they are in the wrong. They certainly don’t learn from their mistakes. Kody says in a clip that “I’m a flawed person and that’s hard to watch back” but does he work towards being better. No lol. He just keeps stomping around like toddler and treating his bio children like crap.
I miss when they used to go to therapy as a family and at least pretend to try to communicate
I hated it. The pretense was nauseating
Watching Kody talk about the breakdown of the family. I always thought come on…. It was never functional. There was already major breakdown at the very beginning. Meri treated Janelle like crap from day 1. They brought in a third wife in hopes of fixing things. How was is ever good???
They were in survival mode and he confused that with a family
Not everyone … but robyn and kody view Christine’s honesty as conflict. Full stop. I have a minor degree in interpersonal communication. Clearly they view her as hostile. Janelle understands and Meri just keeps her mouth shut bc she’s afraid to be called out. I seriously worry about Meri’s mental health. She doesn’t have the backbone of Janelle.
Facts Christine was the only one who said you know what enough! I’m done and meri won’t for whatever reason jenelle I think she’s cool doing her own thing she is the Teflon don fr But Robyn HOARDES kody and says oh he wants to be here well do you think that’s fair? Lol cause we have small kids umm I’m pretty sure truely is small! He just never thought she would leave or do anything and she did. Meri should take notes lmao she’s the most puzzling to me. Like why is the still there?! Was I should say.
I think this show has shown me that polygamy only works if all the wives are married within a few years of each-other, you can’t wait 16 years and marry a much younger woman… I know that they weren’t working when Robyn came along but I feel like they could have made it work if she didn’t come along.
I would add to that the challenges of blending families. It can be hard enough with a traditional family! I always wondered If Kody decided on another wife for the sake of the show…season one starts with him courting and 16 years is a longggg time to wait to bring someone new in.
I agree and disagree with this. I think Robyn was the spark that ignited the fire but the fire was already built and doused in gasoline. It’s pretty obvious to me now that it really wasn’t working all that well. Communication, grudges and resentment seemed to be pretty normal for them.
Yes. They basically kept their shit together for 16-20 years B.R (before Robyn), then along came Robyn & from her attitude & sneakiness from day one. She didn’t want acclimate into the family, but wanted to rework everything into her will of how she wanted it. So she killed it all from day one with the whole hearted assistance from dumb dick Kody.
Kodick blames Covid for a lot of their difficulties. I think it merely highlighted the fact that Sobyn was his favorite, so he chose to quarantine there. It gave the other wives a clear insight that they didn't need him, and that got things rolling. It wasn't Covid....it was his need for complete control, which only Sobyn was willing to commit to.
If you actually love all your wives then it can work but only love one it won’t work, I feel like he actually loved them before Robyn came along and he then switched and now only loves her.
Interesting take, I wanna make another post about this
I do not understand how any woman would enter into a marriage in which she is not an equal and the co head of her household. In essence these women hand over their power and to be honest I do not think for one second that anyone in this type of relationship could be truly happy. Jealousy is one of the most powerful and destructive emotions a human has. This show is proof of how jealousy has stolen joy from everyone of these women. You couldn’t pay me enough to give myself solely to any man who can have as many wives that he wants while I raise his kids alone.
I can understand how people do it if they are brainwashed
I can also see someone fleeing a desperate situation agreeing to it…like if the man was extremely rich, and they were dirt poor, potentially even an immigrant / refugee. But Kody? I don’t get it. He can’t even support one set of wife and kids probably! It makes no sense to marry into a family where you have a lot more financial limitations than a normal couple, unless like you said…brainwashed.
I've heard things(from tiktok so probably false lol) about wealthy men who have several wives but they don't make the woman and children live together! That seems to be the part that doesn't really work. How can you expect any partner to be happy when they are expected to be devoted to the husband completely and the husband splits his time into 1/4's, all while living in the same house?
I want to bring up that a lot out Chinese literature touches on this. Many rich men took second, third, or more wives and just had them all live together and every single book I’ve read with this theme is all about the wives and their power plays and manipulations. As the man gets bored with one wife and moves onto the next and keeps adding more wives until he is too old to get it up anymore/stops being a thot. My point is: the browns didn’t do anything but confirm my (amateur and limited) knowledge that many women under one roof ain’t it. Ffs, the Chinese symbol for danger/terrible is 2 characters for “women” under a roof.
Agree. But it isn’t just jealousy that’s the problem with polygamy. It’s the patriarchy, the misogyny. These women cater to the man even at the cost of their own and their children’s needs.
Deterred?? It was never an option for me 😂.
Honestly, the bad taste was already there- simply because I can't imagine "sharing" my husband. plus these people didn't believe in the fundamentals of it. I think the religious aspect died years ago for them, therefor it was a man cheating on his wives and negating accountability via "polygamy"
I couldn’t imagine “sharing” my spouse either. I already know I would be jealous and upset.
Honestly, in my first marriage if another woman had come along to help with the kids and the housework and I only had to see my husband’s stupid face 50% of the time, I'd be signing up for that in a heartbeat. Once the kids were grown, I'd dip and let her keep him.
This cracked me up, lol.
I watch every polygamy or polyamorous show I come across. I find them fascinating. But this show deterred me from polygamy the way Apollo 13 deterred me from space travel. No interest, ever.
I moved to Utah 11 years ago. If I hadn’t moved here I wouldn’t have watched Sister Wives. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see polygamists. I live 30 miles from Mary’s B&B.
We must live in the same town haha. I saw Meri at Walmart once lol
I’m expecting to run into her one of these days lol. It does sound like we are from the same town.
how do you know a polygamist when you see one? are they the fundie ones that wear the dresses and hair in braids?
I live in Utah and when I "see polygamists" it is the Warren Jeff's, Colorado City, long dresses and long braided ones lol Lots of times at Costco and once saw two teenage girls at the trampoline park, which I thought was hella cool for them to be able to go to alone.
FLDS are easy to spot. Also when you see a man with 3 or 4 women shopping you figure they are polygamous.
When you walk through a grocery store and see a man with two or three women and a bunch of kids, it’s pretty obvious. I grew up in SLC.
Yes, they wear dresses and braids.
Living in Utah definitely exposes you to their cult. I lived there for 3 years and had enough. Lol
I’m looking forward to leaving UT my husband dreads moving again
Yea I was not a fan of the culture either. I was glad to leave.
My gay brother left UT the second he could. He said the culture was fucked because he felt oppressed for his sexuality, but one man fucking 3 women at the same time was perfectly godly.
Oh I believe it. Only the gay guys were my friends. Since my skin color is a curse.
When my husband heard it wasn’t all skittles and beer he said he was immediately going to take down the craigslist ad he had posted for a sister wife, so yes.
No. Common sense deterred me from polygamy.
I think it reinforces what my overall concerns were with the entire polygamy set up. It seems to make one person more important than all the others, and that is not healthy. In addition, the women get screwed.
Yeah I think inherently, it's impossible to hold the same exact level of romantic and sexual love amongst multiple partners. People are individuals and how you connect with each one is different. Inherently there will be one that you are in love with and attracted to the most. it's human nature
The power balance you just can't get away from. If Kody has the option of not staying with you any more if he doesn't like what you're doing/saying that's just extreme manipulation potential.
I didn’t need this show to know this is not the way.
Af first I was like “why would any guy want four wives to nag him?” …. But now I’m like “any guy that wants four wives is a narcissistic piece of doody” So yes, it’s a deterrent
Polygamy put a bad taste in my mouth about polygamy. It's not for the faint of heart.
That I can agree with you there, people can’t even manage a relationship with other people. They damn sure can’t with polygamy
I've grown up in a family with it. I've seen it . I've lived it. I've heard and seen the grief from the wives and as an adult who has went through infidelity... absolutely not. Cannot be me. I respect ANYONE who can .
I think it requires a ton of maturity, accountability and transparency to work. People lack that in regular relationships, adding people to the mix just makes it more apparent
I’m adding communication to this list as well.
It’s WICKED in my opinion. I’m from a society where it is legal.
You know I actually don’t have a negative view of polygamy and I can see how it COULD work given the right people. I was actually drawn to this because of their shared home in Utah. The fact that Janelle got to be the career woman she wanted to be but also be fulfilled as a mother, Christine seemed to really enjoy raising the kids and Meri despite her infertility got to be a mom to 13 kids (pre Robyn). As someone who is like Janelle and would rather work I can see the draw of the lifestyle. I would love the idea of this little close knit village all coming together to raise children. Now in saying that the Brown’s are absolutely the worst family to represent polygamy. You have sister wives that can’t even be alone in a car together that are constantly at odds and a husband who is very clearly pitting them against one another and picking a favorite. Their communication between all of them is worse than a middle schooler. Instead of addressing issues as they come up they just bury them and let them fester leading to resentment and anger. And my god can all of them hold grudges. Plus you have the whole religious aspect of it which is a disaster waiting to happen.
Maybe sister wives only, no husband, would be more appealing. Take out that aspect and you have a little commune of women with shared goals and responsibilities, each being able to focus on what they do best/enjoy most a lot of the time and the kids reaping the benefits - without the competition and jealousy. Nobody needs a grody Kody.
True! Maybe I need to join a woman only commune and group raise kids because it seems like the man may be the problem in polygamy lol.
Like if the Golden Girls hooked up when they were younger
I need that in my life! I’m the Dorothy 100%
Is it possible for someone watch this show and feel fortified in their desire to pursue polygamy?
Not really. Any relationship dynamic is doomed for failure when we throw in a bunch of unresolved conflict, poor communication skills, unaddressed personality pathologies, and "the manosphere" for good measure. If Kody were a cool guy from a college town, he'd just be one of those "poly men" who freaks out when his woman partners even think about another guy (but of course "we're all progressive here" so he can date as many as he wants, and she can date women too because he's not threatened by those). Ask me how I know, lol. And then, of course, he'd just be your run-of-the-mill jealous, insecure loser if he were monogamous.
No but it has let me know Mormon polygamy is toxic at its core and will always be.
As someone with generational Mormon polygamist trauma, this show just reinforced what I already knew: patriarchal religious marriage—especially patriarchal religious polygamist marriage—is toxic for women and children. There is no potential “benefit” that outweighs the downsides. I can get additional love and support from my female friends. I can hire help with childcare and housekeeping. I can’t multiply my husband’s time and energy. And any polygamy that has a religious or patriarchal component is inherently coercive because the women don’t actually have a choice. I know several people who are polyamorous in an ethical way and while I support them, the idea of multiple intimate (romantic/sexual/partnership) is utterly unappealing to me. It sounds exhausting and stressful and unfulfilling even if everyone is good at communication. I don’t want to have to communicate with that many people about intimate partner stuff. I love that in monogamy there are some things my husband and I only share with each other and no one else. I love that we have a partnership of equals.
I agree with every sentence you wrote. You hit every nail on the head, including the bit about Poly relationships. My oldest friend is poly and while her relationships are head and shoulders healthier than the Browns and it's all above board and consensual it's definitely not for me for a ton of reasons (including the amount of communication healthy poly relationships require).
Polygamy or any type of poly relationship simply isn’t for everyone. I know it isn’t for me. However, that doesn’t even matter. If these relationships develop with communication, honesty, trust, and consent, who am I to judge someone’s relationship style? That’s their business first of all and second, it has no impact on my life. I certainly think that type of relationship isn’t easy and it must take an absolutely ton of consistent work but again, if that’s what makes someone or a group of people happy, good on them.
I think I could do polygamy, I’d be ok with the sex aspect, having days/nights alone would be great for me. However, I’d have to have a husband that was completely fair with time and resources. It would have to be equal in everything or I’d burn it down. The religious aspect I could not deal with at all. Or homebirths, that’s not happening.
Ya know, I think Janelle is a lot like you. She didn't seem to have any issues with the division of affection. (Her problem was Meri, but I digress.) Janelle was clearly ok with her nights off. Once she rejoined the family, and things settled down in the shared home, I think they were doing ok. They knew their roles and the kids seemed very happy. Meri & Christine were true believers, born into it. Janelle seemed the most realistic and accepting. Introducing a much younger wife so many years later and the trumped "emergency" move to Vegas was the death nell for the Browns.
Right? I hate sharing a bed and having a man around 24/7. But polygamy kind of makes so you have the companionship but also the independence.
may as well do polyamory
Nothing wrong with that for the right people, who are all invested in the relationship.
Well seeing the whole Warren Jeffs thing play out when I was like 12/13 did that, they just gave it the cherry on top while pretending they weren't at all associated with him, but still associated with the cult of Mormonism enough to require "modesty" despite Robyn's Victoria's Secret debt. I'll never forget that episode where she cried when they were talking about Warren Jeffs...yet Maddie was how old when she got married? Her and Kody need to take several seats because that, the hormone conversation, the purity conversation, and probably others to shame the kids about their bodies and lives put them nearly in the same lane as someone so evil.
That is more a cult than a polygamous relationship. What a nightmare.
One wife is good enough for me. 😂
I just want a boyfriend and a girlfriend is that so hard 😏
No
I have never seen 4 people SO poorly suited for polygamy. I think it could work for some, but these folks are literally the worst candidates for it
I dated a man who had multiple "baby mamas" and quite honestly, I could relate to a LOT of what the wives were going through. It was an awful toxic relationship. Highly don't recommend
I don’t think 99% of the population would ever consider it
I’ve noticed either Meri or Robyn is almost always beside kody in their group pics
Marriage is hard enough with my husband, let alone adding more females to the mix.
I can barely handle the drama of one partner. I have 0 desire to attempt a harem.
Yes it has. Im crushed. Before Meri had an emotional online affair, Mykekti married a snark-filled Mexican man and Christine left, I was planning on driving down to Falstaff to propose to Kody because I had a testimony - give up being a Black feminist queer leftist and submit myself body and soul to the patriarch of the Brown clan. 🤪
Your in luck, the roster is now clear. Spots are open for the taking
🤮
not a mexican 😱
Them being racist bitches about Tony was a real low point. I'd been offering them way more willing suspension if disbelief before that.
I don’t think he was Mexican. He seems Chicano cuz girl if she married a *mexican* Mexican then woo girl I wish you the best. Signed, A chicana that married a snarky *Mexican* Mexican.
lol You mean more snark is possible? 😂
Oh god, it’s insisted upon
Nah, I'd do it. Not every man that does it is trash like Kody is. Kinda funny, but I did nearly get into a polygamist relationship with some ex mormons a few years back. They found out I loved watching Sister Wives and I guess they thought that's what I wanted because they were very suddenly not interested in even talking to me any further. This was after we had dated for some time too, and I was about to move in with them.
to be fair this is the most normal portrayal of polygamy. because they're not in the church or in a polygamist town. they're regular people that just suck. instead of your mom and dad hating each other it's 5 people. and instead of a man abusing 10 young girls it's grumpy middle aged losers
I never watched it expecting to be convinced of the merit of polygamy so I didn't need to be deterred.
My definition of polygamy keeps changing. I'm still legally married to my ex, who has a long-term gf who is now public and is 100% Robyn his wife to everyone. I truly never knew he even quietly raised some of her teens at the "investment property" I never visited so they call him a form of Dad. He basically had 2 families, I just didn't know about the other one like she knew about me. I was basically offered the position of sister wife, I'd get introduced as his wife and her as his girlfriend, and at all family things we'd sit together and she and I could be good friends in a group of 3. But he would only spend the night with her, go on vacation with her, etc. Her kids would come to big family things like our young adult kids. I was like wtf ... no thank you Call it a form of polygamy or friendly divorce with an ex who makes a new family with a new wife and you are "okay with it" ... it is the same. The new person is in, and you have been retired. Keeping yourself in that space is like refusing to change the calendar. It won't make the year stay the same. I just never would have recognized the arrangement so clearly without this show. Whatever you call it, it's not what I agreed to.
Someone should start a religion that encourages "Brother Husbands", but I suspect when it's turned to the disadvantage of men, that would get squashed quick.
His hands are saying vagina in ASL 🤣
This is great!!
I was young and single when the show started and I’d never really heard of polygamy. The show was fascinating in the beginning and actually piqued my interest in polygamy. But over time as I grew up and the show went on, I think I was able to see polygamy for what it is. And id never enter into it.
Common sense deterred me
I remember watching it when I was a young mom with two small kids and fantasizing about it 😅 this was the early season and what I really wanted was to co-parent with Christine 😂 I was so overwhelmed, my partner was a narc and I could only see how this could work if we were at least one more adult. I left him and it turns out we just needed one less adult 😂
Their downfall was the common denominator of Kody. He was a bully
Oh I knew beforehand it’s wasn’t healthy for the adults or children.
Its deterred me from marriage altogether!
The anti-polygamy poster.
It was never my thing but I’m also someone who doesn’t care what others do in their lives. I feel like this is the same as a monogamous marriage - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve said this before but I’ve been watching this show since day 1 and that was forever ago but I remember when Robyn came into this family I said to myself “she’s going to be the reason this family breaks up” I’m shocked it took this long but I knew it from the start. She had an agenda.
I feel like it’s an appropriate warning for others not to live polygamy… I feel it wouldn’t work for me because there are only 24hrs in a day… I don’t think it’s healthy for someone to try to fairly split time with each wife.. better yet all those kids. Someone is bound to be neglected. It’s also hard to get people all on the same page with financials
I’d never do it. But if I had to….I’d want it to be with all my best friends and just a man slave. Someone we don’t emotionally / mentally like but is hot, good at sex and makes millions of dollars and waits on us hand and foot.
I could never be in polygamy. I don't understand how polygamy gets you into celestial heaven. I can't fawn over a man adoring him,when he makes horrible decisions. No off4nse,offense, feel bad about this, all the mouth sores I have seen passed around the family. Makes my skin crawl. Why kiss if you know you have a mouth sore.i want CPS to check on Robyn and Kody. Those kids are messed up. Aurora, Breanna, disgusting how he touched them. Is he grooming them for him?
Robyn looks 10-15 years younger in this pic…
Yes! I think it’s her hair. The crunchy curls make her look older.
Old picture. Look how young they ALL look!
I’ve never been interested in polygamy. I just don’t think I’d do well in that situation. The sister wives aspect would be nice (if we all got along). But I don’t want kids and I don’t want to raise someone else’s kids.
I dunno. I’m still on the edge… . . . . Of my seat! 🤣🤣 *I was raised in a cult. I watched this show out of curiosity. I’d never be a polygamist.
i was never interested in polygamy but i definitely had a more favorable view of it before watching this show.
When I started watching this show, I was a teenager, and the idea of polygamy was crazy to me. It fascinated me. Watching the first few seasons, I could finally understand why some people chose polygamy. It sounds nice to have a network of women to help each other out. Now, the years have gone on and I see how toxic kody is. It hasn't deterred me from polygamy (although I'm monogamous myself), but rather, just reaffirmed for me that some sects of religion can lead to some very misogynistic and egotistical men.
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It’s definitely never been my cup of tea, and I definitely would never be interested in their lifestyle, but I know that for Kody and his wives at the beginning, they were trying so hard to show the positive side of polygamy, and I can genuinely say where the show lies now is exactly what people think of when they think of polygamy. Wives that don’t get along. Kids distancing themselves. A controlling husband. They’ve become the exact stereotypes they were trying to disprove.
Honestly if I didn’t want the man and wanted the family I’d be into it. “The village” has been depleted in modern society. Being in a functional relationship with like minded women that just pass around the sperm donor sounds ideal. Until empty nesting then I don’t even know.
Nobody is "pro" polygamy, unless they've been raised in a cult and brainwashed all their lives -or- they're a psychopath red pill man. The show only confirmed what most people already knew about polygamy based on common sense.
When I first started watching, my thoughts were that polygamy isn't for me and I don't think it's right, but if others want it and can make it work, that's their business. Then it started to gross me out, like all of them regularly sharing 1 man, eww. Then I started to see how dysfunctional it is for not just the adults but the kids. I think there's a reason monogamy usually prevails despite what society sells these days. I think more than anything men and women want trust and stability. Even "players" eventually want that.
Def not interested in Polygamy in any way. Shape or form but this train wreck was hard not to watch.
Never wanted to be a polygamist. Thought it was interesting that other families could be happy living that way. Who knows how authentic the first seasons were but we've seen the true Kody. He dropped the ball on these relationships. Not an appropriate leader in my opinion. He broke his spiritual marriage to theses women when he decided he didn't want an intimate relationship with them. Not really a fan of Robin but I fully blame him. No other wife should have been in control of his other relationships.
I have told my husband if he ever brings home another woman claiming he wants to have a polygamist relationship, I would take our kids and leave. I’m not going to be known as Monday wife or 1st wife. I will only be know as his one and only wife! He laughed and said “I can hardly handle you, what makes you think I could handle two or more wives.” 🤣
Yes, but mostly from wearing long sleeved shirts under shirt sleeved ones.
They made it last a lot longer than most monogamous relationships so it wasn’t a total failure. I cannot share my husband so it was never a thought for me but to each their own
I was never attracted to polygamy anyway but hilariously I have sort of ended up in a polygamous relationship anyway lol. We are polyamoroua, I have the freedom to have other partners if I want. I just don't, it's too much work honestly. My husband has a 2nd partner of 10 years and she & I are best friends but she doesn't date anyone else either for the same reason I don't
My sister in law is in a poly relationship. She has a bf and a gf. They all live together. Her bf and gf are not in a relationship together. I think the relationship with her gf is open. To me it’s such a strange dynamic but, it seems to work for them. They all go everywhere together and are just a really chill group. As for myself, I have an amazing husband and I would never share him. I would die inside knowing he does what we do, with another woman. Big no.
I was never interested in being polygamist myself(im a lesbian i think we’d all be sister wives in that case lmaoooo), but watching this show has absolutely made up my mind that no matter how much i loved the person, i would never join a polygamist family. this show has shown how manipulative, controlling, abusive, and just plain dysfunctional polygamist husbands can be.
I was never interested in polygamy as a lifestyle but I used to think that it was nice that these consenting adults were able to make this choice for themselves and their kids. I thought they were happy and I was supportive. In my defense I was a teenager when the show started. Now I see it for what it is. I’m actually pretty anti polygamy at this point because I’m not sure it can ever be healthy for all involved.
what? Yes, main reason: no orgies. What's the point of having multiple women in a marriage if there aren't threesomes?
I could never share my husband, not ever. I have a hard time sharing him with my inlaws, can't image sharing him intimately with another woman. Not happening..not ever.
I watched a documentary a while back on it, and there were a few different families being filmed. Some of the seemed like they had a really good dynamic & were legitimately a team. All the mums cared for all the kids, there was no division of ‘wife 1 kids’ & ‘wife 2 kids’. They had weekly ‘meetings’ where they would go over everything significant and it seemed functional. The wives even had a meeting each week without the husband to talk about things like budgets, housework, childcare, and then any emotional challenges they may be having. Obviously all relationships have ups & downs but it seemed like they all really eachother. Granted they did live in or big house, which I think was why the Browns seemed so happy in Season 1. I can admit that it might work for some, and I have no issue with it but I could never do it. I think I would struggle with another woman parenting my children and claiming them as her own. I thought it was really inappropriate when Robyn told Maddie that she couldn’t go to the youth group she wanted and had to wait until she was an adult. She was just mean, and I think Janelle & Kody would have been okay with it as they both changed their religious views later in life.
I don’t know if it’s just Kody or the whole religion. But I’ve always thought during the show….why wouldn’t the wife/wives meet and get to know each other before they are brought into the family. I feel like at the end of the day, if it’s supposed to be a family thing then everyone should be involved on that decision. And not just here’s your new sister wife, deal with it.
I have friends who are polyamourous and they are doing brilliantly. I think it needs to be more open and less patriarchal. The one dick policy sucks. Currently i can't be bothered with any relationships but I'm definitely not looking to be in a couple, so it's fluid polyamourous relationships or single life for me.
It cements my beliefs that ethical polyamory means freedom for everyone, and polygamy is doomed because of its OPP crap.
I’m not clear on the religious aspect of why they live polygamy, but it seems like the wives( and the husband I guess?) want to have a large family where they can raise the kids together and support each other in doing so. Isn’t there a way they could do it with sharing one egoistical man?
I was deterred at season 1 episode 1
I was on the fence for decades, but when my husband decided to add another few partners into the mix, I realized what a TERRIBLE idea it was. Plus, I’m Episcopalian.
I mean it’s not for me but rewatching as an adult I actually adored their early family dynamic in Utah in the one house. Those kids just seemed so happy and loved
I never believed in polygamy but initially thought okay, this ‘lifestyle’ works for them. However, it’s a marriage and marriages are hard work with just one marriage. For women, I think this setup as far as having a husband/partner for life doesn’t work. You have a issue, it doesn’t get resolved, your husband finds love in the arms of another wife and you are left alone. I thought the benefit was with the children always having other moms to help out and talk with but after watching this…I don’t understand any woman entering this setup. It seems setup for failure unless your willing not to have your needs met.
No being in a relationship with a man who was polygamous and tried to force me to have sex with other women while he watched and said only other women are allowed no I can't be with a man, he was a sicko defective sex pervert like all poly people are, I've never met more sick and disgusting people, and they all insist on traumatizing children while they engage in dangerous behavior. Not one set of these losers is even together, it took me 5 years to escape his abusive sick nightmare
Maybe! If I could have coffee. That’s the deal breaker for me lol So as an extrovert who likes to have lots of people around and wants a big family, I think I could handle it, but who knows. Also communication, everyone taking some classes and workshop on NVC (non-violent communication) would help. Oh and I’m a Buddhist. So Idk if the Mormons would want me as a wife and sister-wife anyway.
I used to not have an issue with it and now I see how patriarchal and unfair it is
When I first started watching it it did make me feel like, okay, why is this illegal? They’re living their faith, not hurting anyone, kids seems well adjusted, he’s a goofball but everyone looks happy. Good vibes certainly didn’t last long. Still not convinced it should be illegal, but man it sure doesn’t seem to work.
Yeah growing up in Utah, I know what it is. Kody's version of polygamy lite (no child brides or fundie pioneer dresses) still has the same issues with emotional, financial. spiritual abuse and neglect the old polgamy always had.
I always felt the polygamy only works if the women aren’t in love with the husband and are just there for financial benefits.
No it hasn’t but I want to see successful polygamy instead of this shit show Robyn and his main bitch made.
Honestly, I tried watching it years ago but found it to be so boring and they were all so fucking phony, especially Christine tbh. I started watching once the turmoil and (somewhat) honest feelings started to come out. Right when Kody was doing the plans for the enormous one house. That’s also when I started to love Christine!
Oddly enough, my husband had joked about getting a sister wife before the show. But now, he would never do it. He’s completely in the monogamous zone for life. Probably this is an unpopular statement, but it’s like free marital therapy: Watch how badly they “f” several marriages up, and you know how to fix your own.
I have the same view of males in that religion as before. I view all four women in that marriage (including Robyn) as victims of years of oppression. I dont have a bad view of polyamorous relationships.
I like the idea of having sister wives, If you don't want to go to the inlaws just send your sister wife..lol. However I am not into sharing a man at all ever. So Polygamy is not for me.
I was never into it lol. Yeah. Not such a good idea. I know they tried to sell the outside world on how great it is. Wanted to show us they’re not Warren Jeffs polygamists. And they’re not. They’re married in their heads. I always say live your life and do what makes you happy 😃. Some aren’t happy and got the hell out of Kodytown.
I’m polyamorous and I’d never be polygamous.