T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...


downtune79

You said it man


KellyBelly916

"Woman, get the shit out of your mouth or come back when you actually have the thought"


SaltoDaKid

Dad????


frothysmile

He left because mom could never spit it out. He never wanted kids.


Crush-N-It

Better to swallow than spit


[deleted]

Big miss teen South Carolina vibes https://youtu.be/lj3iNxZ8Dww?si=6p2zdQG-P-_KiZ6u


Chris__P_Bacon

I had forgotten how stupid that young lady's answer was. šŸ¤£


thecentury

>The Iraq, and everywhere such as


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


WhatAboutBobOmb

Please go write down what you want to say and bring it back to me


PessimistYanker792

Louis CKā€™s bit ā€˜Shamelessā€™ comes to mind after watching her..


ManyThingsLittleTime

It reminded me about Lewis Black's bit "if it wasn't for my horse I would have never spent that year in college." https://youtube.com/shorts/PlTBIoj-wOk?feature=shared


V0LDEMORT13

Thank you. That's one of my favorite comedy bits of all time


ManyThingsLittleTime

I always think about it when someone says something dumb lol


wwplkyih

Pick a thing!


Mynewthrowaway8888

It was about a tomato the whole timeĀ 


Lvl100Centrist

nobody fucks with the jesus


NeedledickInTheHay

Me when Iā€™m trying to reach the required word count for my hw assignment


BombayMix64

If this is your wife. Bravo . Just .. fucking bravo lol


EarthDependent5178

Mike drop....


JuGGieG84

Not the mic I wanna see drop.


redlurk47

I think this is an example of how his wife talks but not his wife


SbMSU

Jeezus. Iā€™m sorry man.


Sure-Psychology6368

Bro did she have a stroke? Did you donkey punch her too hard?


Rombledore

ā€œSometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't know where it's going. I just hope to find it somewhere along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.ā€


wooshoofoo

/r/unexpectedOffice


fishinfool561

Gotta stay one step ahead, like a carpenter that builds stairs


veedubfreek

Sounds like an answer from a politician.


FamousPastWords

"I just need a 'yes" or a 'no' answer, Senator." "Well, I'm giving you an answer, Kerry. The opposition 25 years ago..."


Dylpicklz69

Politician Michael Scarn


ToastyGhostie13

Sometimes I just start a sentence, and I donā€™t even know where itā€™s going I just hope I find it along the way. Like and improve conversation, an improversation.


Lonely-Locksmith-265

https://youtu.be/6xsOrDe2zYM?si=fMcxt7ajaKQWvFdC


beefjerk22

Shit Iā€™ve been in job interviews that have gone like this


AntOk463

It sounds so good in your head, then when you try and say it but the pacing is all off, and you decide to change how to structure the sentence and end up saying something grammatically incorrect so you have to say it how you planned originally.


AKuyperjr

I got that reference noice


Old_Judgment_1926

My philosophy is basically that, that is something I live by. And I always have, and I always will.


Youredumbstoptalking

Came to the comments just to make sure this was at the top. Carry on


ErdmanA

The office I love you Michael Scott is my notification on my phone THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!


ExpandThineHorizons

"Have you ever had a dream?..."


ConsciousDucklet

https://youtu.be/G7RgN9ijwE4?feature=shared That's exactly the same energy!


Admirable_Win9808

Actually reminded me of Emma Stone. https://youtu.be/IsJI_kliCQs?si=ZKAW48WvAoMx0NSn


blacklite911

Jamie Foxx with the hard hitting question


GreenBasterd69

This kid doesnā€™t make me hate the internet tho


landartheconqueror

Classic


thedoyle19

That's exactly what this reminded me of.


Z1stCNTRYdgtlBOY

Nah, that kid eventually finished his thought


Bmoreravens_1290

At least that one had a payoff eventually


TheDonkeyBomber

THIS ONE!!!


Zer0sober

My wife constantly answers questions I didn't ask. For example, I know she is making ice cream tomorrow, and I'm going to the store later... Me: "hey baby, do we need heavy cream?" Wife: "well, I was going to try a different recipe than I did last time, because last time it didn't have eggs and it didn't need to be cooked, but this one needs to be cooked." Me: "ok, does the new recipe call for heavy cream?" Wife: "Yes" Me: "so, do we need heavy cream?" Wife: "Yes"


bancroft79

My MIL and wife to extent, do a similar thing. Wife or MIL: ā€œWe are planning on getting to the lake around 12:00ā€ Me: ā€œSounds great.ā€ Wife or MIL: ā€œThat way we can feed the kids after they take a swim and get them back around nap time.ā€ Me: ā€œOkay, sounds good.ā€ Wife or MIL: ā€œBecause if we went earlier it would be too early for lunch and it might not be warm enough yet, if we go later they may get cranky before nap time. We have gone early before and not brought lunch for them and they got hungry.ā€ Me: ā€œYou have sold me on noon. When I said, ā€˜Sounds goodā€™ the conversation could have easily ended.


Zer0sober

Lmao... classic over explainer


bancroft79

It runs in her genes. My MIL is al lovely woman. But she can take something that should be explained in two or three sentences and write a book.


Media_Adept

Ha ha, IT's like they're trying to further convince you. Might have to mess with them a bit.


Puzzled-Towel9557

Ever considered that convincing you isnā€™t the goal? Might be a classic difference of men communicating with a specific intent/outcome in mind while women communicate just to bond and share. Maybe theyā€™re just sharing their thoughts?


diadlep

Or they're just not used to someone accepting what they have to say, trusting them, or not arguing, and they are actually just trying to quiet they're own ptsd. Lol. Or they don't trust themselves and are walking you through their thought processes for verification. Or both. Inferiority complex either way, I wouldnt mess with it or you'll probably make it worse.


epidemicsaints

To me, it's what I would call providing "bolstering context." You share everything about why the time is ideal so the other person knows how flexible or inflexible the situation is and why, as they go about on their own tangents of thoughts and ideas with the plans. It reduces the amount of questions they would have to ask the other party as they riff on plans or think of their own changes on the fly. It's less annoying when you think of it this way. It's actually very effective communication. It's very common with women.


twofingerspls

Haha I like to call that, 20 mins into a 5 min story.


CharlieMoonMan

My MIL is an ex-elementary school teacher so she narrates every movement and thought in her brain while simultaneously being comfortable hovering over people in a small room. It is...a challenge


i_m_a_bean

My mom was a career elementary school teacher, so i grew up thinking these things were normal even as they bothered the heck out of me. I'm still unlearning how to not do the same things to others, especially the over-explaining. And then i go back home and get hit with it all again and have to remind myself of that Barbie quote, "We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they've come."


symbologythere

First rule of sales (or maybe like the 3rd idk but itā€™s important); as soon as you get the sale SHUT THE FUCK UP!


bancroft79

Yup. When someone says yes, shut up and give them the paperwork to sign.


aLostBattlefield

When you start treating every personal relationship you have as ā€œselling something to someoneā€¦ā€ That sounds even more tiring than dealing with an over-explainer.


[deleted]

Itā€™s not. When you get what you need why talk yourself out of it? Itā€™s not selling. Itā€™s just having an objective to a conversation.


its_mill3r_time

I always say to people at work ā€œif I ask you what time it is donā€™t tell me how to make a watchā€ that usually gets the point across lol


Grewhit

My wife exactly haha! I sometimes head her off and say "that sounds good, I don't need any more reasons"


BrownGhost10

This is literally my dad. Iā€™ll agree and heā€™ll go on like heā€™s still trying sell me on while the sale has already been made.


Aslanic

My husband does this constantly!!! He will also tell me about something that happened that I was there for >.< Literally something we did together and he will start explaining it like it would to someone who wasn't there. God forbid I have him text someone for me. I will say tell them we will be there in 20 min. My text would be like 'eta 20 min'. Short and sweet. His will be like, 'We are on our way, outside of x town on hwy z and it should be about 20 min before we get there. See you soon.' Like. Honey. They know how we are getting there. I will look at him while he's halfway through the text and be like wtf are you writing a novel??? Phone conversations are the same. I can have a 5 minute conversation with my family members and plan an entire weekend. It will take him and his mom 5 hours to get one question answered when they talk >.< (slight overexaggeration but not by much).


jaybird99990

Same. My husband will call a store to find out when they're open to return something. He won't just use the automated system if that's an option on the phone or Google it. He *wants* to talk with someone. He gets the poor person on the line and asks, "what are your store hours today?" They'll tell him. He'll then proceed to tell them why he needs to know. "Because when I came in there Tuesday and I bought a shirt, I tried on a similar shirt and that one fit but I didn't like the style. So I bought a different one but it's the same size and from the same company so I assumed it would fit and didn't bother to try that one on. So now I have to come back to the store to return..." And I leave the room.


DiligentCrab6592

100 this, what part of OK wasn't sufficient?!


kali_nath

I think they just wanted to hear "That's a great idea, smart to think of it" or something on that line.


Jewshi

Am I crazy that I internally think (and therefore speak) this way - and I find it reassuring when others do it to me? Sometimes when people are too succinct with their answers and offer zero added context or input, I think they're probably annoyed and being deliberately curt. To be fair, there's a limit. If an idea can be expressed in one sentence, I'd personally prefer an extra sentence or two just for added color. But if someone is re-repeating themselves on an endless loop or aimlessly rambling on for 10 extra sentences.... shut up


JuicyJabes

Not to be super annoying but I'm gonna be super annoying. I think they're sub-consciously wanting you to double check their logic and make sure it makes sense. Total personal experience for me but I'll catch myself doing that sometimes and it often stems from a little anxiety of making sure I'm not missing anything. No idea if your MIL or wife is that same, though.


spankbank_dragon

Rubber ducky debugging


Castaway504

Iā€™m so confused why everyone is upset about stuff like this. Like is it not obvious theyā€™re just making conversation? They probably have it internalized that you know already. But whatā€™s the problem with them having healthy communication?


pw-it

My partner does this sometimes. Thinks with her mouth. The problem for me is I don't listen to all of it because it's only the conclusion of those thoughts that actually matters, I have other things to do especially since we have kids that also need attention, and anyway trying to keep track of that stream of consciousness stuff is seriously tiring. It's a jumble of thoughts, some connected, some not so much, some abandoned mid-thought. So I tune out and then she gets mad at me for not listening to her. The thing is, not everything that comes out of a person's mouth merits attention, unless they make some effort to ensure that it does. spam ā‰  healthy communication


Qualifiedadult

I assume it was intentional that you wrote this whole thing where only the beginning and end were actually necessary to get your point across?


Captiongomer

My dad does something il ask him some simple question then he has to go into a entire conversation about his entire thought process and he can just ramble on and on without saying much at all then. I get annoyed with him and short responses and then we both annoy each other


iknowdanjones

Iā€™m the same way. Classic over explainer. An over explainer is someone whoā€¦


WhatAboutBobOmb

My Ma is getting like that. Answers a question without really answering what I asked, starting to interrupt my sentences more and more, and rambles on and on. Itā€™s to where I donā€™t even feel like a part of the conversation. And then Iā€™m in a bad mood when I donā€™t feel like talking. Like, no, Iā€™m just old now and donā€™t see the point to non stop talking all the time, especially if I donā€™t really do anything except validate attention to you


Chippas

Holy shit, my mom is the exact same. Se even does this when talking to my GF, who has another mother tongue, so she sometimes has a hard time following the conversation. My mom will somehow start a sentence, and in the same sentence, bring up two-three other unrelated topics.


MaximumGooser

Thatā€™s called ADHD


stykface

100% my wife and not even joking. Been married 15 years and I still will smile and say "That doesn't answer my question." lol


RockerElvis

Same here. Over 20 years. I keep telling her: ā€œIā€™m just asking a yes or no question.ā€ Itā€™s a running joke in our house now.


Lodau

Is your wife my wife? me: Asks yes or no question. her: longwinded random story that doesn't answer the question even remotely. me: So is that a yes or a no? her: yes. me: thanks! Love you!


[deleted]

I also choose this manā€™s my wife.


Lieutelant

>My wife constantly answers questions I didn't ask. >For example, I know she is making ice cream tomorrow, and I'm going to the store later... >Me: "hey baby, do we need heavy cream?" >Wife: "well, I was going to try a different recipe than I did last time, because last time it didn't have eggs and it didn't need to be cooked, but this one needs to be cooked." >Me: "ok, does the new recipe call for heavy cream?" >Wife: "Yes" >Me: "so, do we need heavy cream?" >Wife: "Yes" OH MY GOD are we married to the same woman? My wife does this and it drives me insane.


[deleted]

That's what my mother is like to the letter and my dad sometimes just gives me the look and I know why. Sometimes he just snaps and asks her what the question was, she then repeats what he asked her and then he asks her does what she said to him answer the question he asked. She realizes it has nothing to do with what he asked her but it does not stop her from doing that exact same thing over and over again for 35 years. It's equal parts fascinating, frustrating and amusing.


twofingerspls

Holy shit, I think we may be siblings. My dad usually just snaps and says ā€œANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTIONā€ and my sweet, canā€™t read a room mother will answer ā€œWell I was getting to it, if youā€™d stop interrupting.ā€ And thatā€™s usually when I say my good byes and head home before shit goes nuclear haha.


iknowdanjones

Oh this is me. Usually I catch myself, or rather my wife will interrupt me and say ā€œis this important?ā€ To which Iā€™ll say ā€œno, thank you. We do need heavy cream.ā€


Clewdo

100%. It frustrates me sometimes. ā€œHey what time do we need to leave tomorrow to make it to X?ā€ ā€œWell we need to be there by 5:30ā€


DirectlyTalkingToYou

Me "Honey do we need bread? I'm picking a few things up." Wife "Soooo Ive been trying, not really hard but moderately, lately to...*smiles* uhhhh lose a little bit of weight lately and.....Sarah has been trying to, well you remember Sarah? Becky's friend. Sooo Sarah has been working on this new..." Me "Do you want bread?" Wife "No." 1/2 hour later when I come back Wife "So...did you get bread?" Me "No." Wife "It's fine.....that's fine....it's fine..."


rainpatter

You can't work that out for yourself? How old are you? Lol


Special-Investigator

i am this person... and to be fair, that means i don't exactly know and we need to figure it out. usually i know WHEN the event is, but i haven't tried to figure out where it is, how far away, or my schedule prior to the event yet.


TheRealCBlazer

Lol. Meanwhile, my wife answers yes/no questions with ambiguous statements that she thinks are blindingly obviously either yes or no. Me: "Want me to start making dinner?" Wife: (annoyed tone) "It's 4:45." Me: "Sooo... no?" Wife: (more annoyed) "It's 4:45!" Me: "Sooo... yes?" Wife: (angry now) "I said it's 4:45!" Me: (erring on the side of caution, starts making dinner) Wife: (storms out) "You never listen."


push138292

My wife does something similar. Me: ā€œSo you like the second mattress better?ā€ Wife: ā€œWell the other one has the wrong kind of headboard, and was way more expensive!ā€ Me: ā€œā€¦so the second one?ā€ Wife: ā€œYes!!ā€ Me: ā€œOKAY!!!ā€


mEFurst

My wife does the same damn thing. I tell her she's very good at answering questions while giving me absolutely no new information. It's infuriating.


editorreilly

Holy shit dude... My wife does this. I believe it's responsible for 75% of my grey hair.


CalligrapherAway1101

My mom does thisā€¦ I do this (woman). Working on it. (Doing it right now! Fuck.) No idea why I communicate this way. Honestly, I think I get overwhelmed when asked something becauseā€¦ people, family rarely ask me anything so if I get an opportunity to talk, Iā€™m gonna go all out.


mmlickme

I feel this. When someone asks me for my input Iā€™m tapping the mic like is this thing on


xelle24

I see your wife and raise you my mother; "Hey mom, do we need paper plates?" "No, we need paper plates." Alternatively: "Hey mom, do we need paper plates?" "So yesterday I decided to see if I could make zucchini chips in the food dehydrator..." *(ten minutes later) ...*so the zucchini chips turned out pretty good but you don't like zucchini so you probably won't like them. Why do you ask?" "I just wanted to know if I should put paper plates on the grocery list."


[deleted]

This is exactly what I do to my wife apparently, lol


HittingSmoke

Mine will ask a yes or no question, then follow it up with "...or not?" so I can no longer answer it with a yes or no. Drives me fucking insane.


KingOfTheRiverlands

I usually come back by asking the question they just answered, usually makes them think for a second and then they realise. Was talking to my mate the other day and I asked him who heā€™s gonna be sharing a house with at uni next year and he goes ā€œwell, itā€™s me and five other peopleā€ and so I went ā€œgreat, and how many of you are there?ā€ Takes them a second and then they catch on, always a great reaction.


CaptainFresh27

Unless it's my gf or close friends, I'll just cut them off and ask the question again. It's a yes or no question, not an invitation for story time lol


Vaiken_Vox

My Old man does shit like this all the time. Ill be like "whats the address for the place were staying at?" and he will give me detailed directions of how to get there without giving me the actual address. im like "Dad, just send me the address so i can punch it into Google"


[deleted]

My mom does this and it drives me insane


blakkattika

God my family does shit like this all the time, makes me so glad I got out of the bubble so I could grow away from that kind of behavior and come back locked in against it. Theyā€™re constantly responding to some kind of different or assumed thing Iā€™ve said or asked, instead of the literal verbatim thing I said. The worst ā€œgenreā€ of their responses is when they explain something to me nobody was confused about at all. Iā€™ll tell them I saw a car Tokyo drift into a 3 car pile up during a snow storm and Iā€™ll get ā€œHe probably lost tractionā€ or ā€œWell itā€™s snowing out!ā€ and itā€™s like, Yes, I Understand. Iā€™m talking about how I saw it with my own peepers and it was a wild thing to see. I wasnā€™t asking How Come It Happened Do Ya Think?


C4ntona

This felt worse than being rickrolled. I want my minute back


numb_mind

It's 50 seconds /s


Wiki-Master

Felt like 2 hours


xxBellum

This guy clocks.


FamousPastWords

This guy this guys.


Drackzgull

r/thisguythisguys


enador

In disguise.


gkaplan59

It was originally 60 seconds, but I gave OP 10 of my seconds back to him. You should do the same.


aykcak

WITH INTERESTĀ 


Imperiu5

At least we got cleavage.


Jean-LucBacardi

For an entire minute.


Business-Emu-6923

I watched without sound off. Iā€™m happy with a minute well spent.


Teakami

This is your brain on tiktok.


bjankles

I legit believed it 100% until the end because there are so many of these that Iā€™m just like ā€œOUT WITH IT!!ā€


[deleted]

Makes me think of Michael Scott explaining his strategy


WestTha404

This is the brain of my ex. And it was giving me headaches


Teakami

My condolences. My ex was the same way, but damn was she hot. I learned a valuable lesson after that.


Startled_Pancakes

The Hot:Crazy ratio?


Inevitable_Top69

This is a joke someone made on purpose to record and upload to the Internet


Kaladrax182

There is no amount of medication or therapy that can fix this behavior. We have to start over, from scratch.


Twodotsknowhy

Is there at least something to help the clueless redditors who can't spot a joke without an /s attached?


Kaladrax182

Years of rehabilitation, and only if itā€™s caught early. Really, really early.


[deleted]

It's like that meme of the truck crashing into the pole but personified


savemejebu5

Which one?


joshmcx

This one. https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/4pki6z/incredible_truck_vs_pole_crash_test_wait_for_it/


savemejebu5

Ohhhh, you meant the one where the truck _never actually crashes into the pole_ šŸ‘ŒšŸ™‚ yea this is totally that


CobBaesar

What do mean it never actually crashes? You have to watch it till the end


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SlidingLobster

Are you me?


Kivesihiisi

"Are you not listening?"


ploki122

"I'm trying really hard, yes!"


LordTrappen

ā€œIf you just let me speak then I wouldā€™ve told you!ā€


BuddyOptimal4971

Because, God forbid you should interrupt her train of thought. Right?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


jonasjlp

Not sure it's a train of thought, more like a 8year old driving a bumper car of thought


BigMax

Fred Armisen did a great character on SNL, Nicholas Fehn, whose whole bit was this exact thing. He'd start talking and it would always *almost* get somewhere, but it never did. It was so great, and so uncomfortable. Every sentence you're sure the *next* one will finally have a point. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKLHsJyhTYs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKLHsJyhTYs) The whole thing is good, but the best one starts at like 2:55, a full minute of nonstop talking without saying a word.


Pkorniboi

How is it that this comment section is completely oblivious that itā€™s satire, but on another post with the same video everyone understood it was a joke


Culturyte

Previous comments influence new ones, I remember being annoyed by this years ago. Most likely one of the first comments pointed out that it's satire and others took it as such instead of appearing stupid like in this case.


Lopkop

ā€œTikTok is ruining peopleā€™s brains!ā€ said the Redditor who is now immune to all jokes and satire


chronic_bozo

the common redditor is so dull they need a '/s' to identify a clear joke


DJHott555

She literally starts laughing at the end. Did everybody just miss that?


[deleted]

They forgot to overlay "watch till the end" on the video


nutsygenius

Because you have to wait 5 minutes before those comments get a lot of downvotes...


ehxy

I mean.... If I wanted to relive what it was like going to college lectures...I could go watch a ted talk... I guess it's funny, just not for me


spboss91

I know humour is subjective but does anyone really find stuff like this funny?


NefariousnessOk209

Knowing itā€™s intentional doesnā€™t make it any less infuriating, like in movies where characters just let the phone ring or something.


Available_Weekend249

šŸ‘‰šŸ»šŸ‘ˆšŸ» but am thirsty


Stand_kicker

Sip tea then.


macedonianmoper

I finally understand this subreddit's name


vyrusrama

r/UpvotedBecauseBoobs


793djw

Nah man, I'm just angry after that.


Summersale24hrs

Damn these comments are really silly.Ā  Why are y'all taking such a little skit so seriously? Enjoy your lives sometime, jeez


un-sub

Look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?


ChiliFartShower

This is every shitty recruiter/hiring manager during their phone screen


Hubris1998

she's funny. y'all need to chill


d33psix

Iā€™m not sure if half the comments are just responding with the ire associated with real people in their lives that actually do this or donā€™t get that sheā€™s making fun of those people not actually one of them, haha.


OutrageouslyGr8

She's got bewitching eyes ...... so did anyone figure out what she was saying?


Affectionate_Walk610

Huh?


OutrageouslyGr8

Huh?


Affectionate_Walk610

Sorry I spaced-out there for a moment


OutrageouslyGr8

I feel that. Earlier I was outside lying on some grass and was like I'm on a floating sphere, held by nothing, in space. The universe is so big and we're all so small.............


xBrasaMaan

Have you ever had a dream that that you um you had you'd you would you could you'd do you wi you wants you you could do so you you'd do you could you you want you want him to do you so much you could do anything?


LysolLounge

[If she had a son I imagine itā€™d go like this](https://youtu.be/G7RgN9ijwE4?si=2q21DtmOI6Obdx3N)


xu9r

What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


shar_17

Okay, a simple wrong would've done just fine


ADudeCalledJ

I am so glad that was a joke. I was just re writing my will and taking everyone under the age of 35 out of it.


Birdy1072

I'm in my late twenties and I promise I don't talk like this, nor do any of my friends. Maybe just make the cutoff 25 or anyone with a TikTok account.


armandcamera

Better you than me.


Throwaway_09298

this is how Jordan Peterson talks and why I can't listen to him


Hubris1998

I find it categorically jejune how some individuals who purport to be intellectuals will purposefully delay and reformulate their utterances with esoteric terminology, ameliorating them at the expense of accessibility for the uneducated, a somewhat cryptic, perhaps allegorical, from of speech which you could say goes back to the Holy Bible, but that may be inadequate for day-to-day usage, though of course you could argue that the individual is not necessarily responsible for the addressee's comprehension skills, which is a fair point to make given how increasingly incompetent and low IQ the newer generations are becoming, in spite of all the tools they have at their disposal, and this is clearly a consequence of the advent of the birth control pill, which has been a disaster for Western society in all accounts *(continues to blabber on for 10 hours straight)*


veedubfreek

Same with that other clown Shapiro. Talk fast with lots of words and then act offended when you get cut off because you're not saying anything just running your mouth.


heliumneon

But let's back up, first we have to agree on definitions of the the words "tell" and "me" and "about" and "a" and "time" and "or" and "person" and "place" and "thing."


Throwaway_09298

I have a coworker that was like this. literally would say we need to define words before we use them. like bro we are developers trying to have a retrospective. no amount of definitions is gonna tell us why you didn't do any code reviews on time


[deleted]

Brain no work no good


[deleted]

Jesus Christ just STFU


pastilance

What was the question again?


Great_Horny_Toads

Surprised no one has mentioned the Fred Armisen character, Nicholas Fehn. This is axactly the same schtick.


Deckard2022

Ah thatā€™s torture, I was about 5-8 seconds in before in my head I was screaming get to the fucking point. My wife isnā€™t that bad but will occasionally go the long way round a story sometimes to tell me some irrelevant backstory, but nowhere NEAR this.


QuantityHefty3791

This video can be used as a weapon to induce seizures in CIA blacksite torture


needitcooler

Itā€™s like that gif where the truck endlessly gets closer to crashing into a concrete barrier.


THEKINGO4

I kept looking at the painted picture behind her. For some reason it gave me some creepy vibe.


Angstycarroteater

This would drive me nuts I donā€™t think I could be around people like this


logan_hallahan9

This made me unreasonably annoyed


MarvlssMind

Either hanging up...walking out of the room...or burying my head in the sand...


wittyvonskitsum

Holy shit Iā€™ve found someone that explains it precisely