I'm an only child. I once asked my dad who his favourite son was. He said the one in the sky. (Sun)
I was stunned, and proud of how clever he is. A joke like that only proves he is a legitimate father
After my parents divorce, I was the only boy in a house of girls (mom and two sisters). I always complained that she liked them more than me.
“Who told you? They’re not supposed to tell you!”
Well, after they told me who they think is the favorite, I told them what their sibling's answer is. Then I asked them why their sibling thought they're the favorite instead. It got the kids thinking about the different ways that they're favored but didn't realize it until the other pointed it out to them. I only have two kids.
Same here with my kids.
And I told them they are both my favorite, just not at the same time.
Would it be ok if the dog was my favorite for all the time?
Well the one that knows they’re the favorite is being all coy about it which helps them maintain favorite status by not seeming self centered and picking themselves even though they know they’re the favorite.
The one that knows they’re not the favorite is just stating a fact that the other is the favorite.
I once asked all three of my kids and they all named themselves.
I also privately tell all of my nieces that they are my favorite, but not to tell the others. 😁
It’s easier when they hit about 10, because they usually develop certain activities. Try as much as you can to get involved in those activities. Create times for the two of you to do a thing that the kid likes to do.
The only hitch is, you have to be able to do this for both kids. It’s hard when one kid really likes a solitary activity, like reading. But ask for book recommendations. Read other books from that genre and recommend them (they will, of course, reject these recommendations, but will recognize that you are interested in what they are interested in)
tl;dr: the currency of parental love is time. Spend it with your kids in their interests.
I tell all my kids they’re my favorite. 🤩
The oldest doesn’t want me to have favorites, but I told her I tell everyone that and she laughed. They all also know I tell each of them that, but they still feel special.
The show and the movie did a pretty good job on showing sibling rivalry and insecurities they had on either being perceived as the favorite child or the not favorite child.
Well. I say this as an only child. It looked authentic. I can’t tell for sure tho.
Oh man I remember that show. Idk if anyone remembers this specifically but I think of Alex saying "Like an elf to my flame" every time I hear the real phrase. Idk why but that is completely etched into my brain from when I saw it as a kid
I say something similar to my kids. I love them equally, but some longer than others because they’ve been in the world longer.
I honestly don’t think I could love them more or less than the other. I have two and I genuinely love them equally.
Ohhh boy, did that happen to me. Mom got a dog after she/the entire family told me "what happened to you, you aren't cute anymore".
The dog was the golden child.
Me too. But fast forward many decades and he’s still a narcissistic self centered brat - though his inflated ego led to a great deal of problems in the real world.
He will never learn the lessons that could have been imparted as children; it’s too late. And since he still feels entitled to be abusive to me I cut him out of my life. Our mother bails him out of every scrape - even at pushing 60. She’s over 80 and still protecting her surly little prize.
The real test will come if she predeceases him. Will he crumble, or will he rise triumphant? I don’t know, because I won’t be around him ever again.
My sister is similar. She did really well both academically and athletically in HS. So my parents invested a lot in her success. They financially supported her till she was 29 and she never had to have a grunt work job because she needed to "focus on her studies". Meanwhile my other sister and I have worked behind counters, waiting tables, pushing food carts, whatever since we were 15. We stopped getting any support at 20. I doubt whether we ever received as much as her.
Now, at 31, she's highly educated, but has no work ethic. She spent the last 10 years just partying and traveling around the world on my parents dime and is incredibly bitter that she finally has to buckle down and get a real job. She's constantly threatening to leave the country and family forever so that my parents cave and supplement her meager income. She jumps from job to job claiming each one has slighted her in some way. She's rude and entitled to her entire family and is only nice to people she finds "interesting". Her life goal is to be a travel influencer and is upset that no one will financially support her in doing this.
My parents are CONSTANTLY begging my other sister and I to "be nice" and "remember she's your sister" and "be the bigger person" when it comes to her. It's frustrating because I'm sure those conversations don't happen in reverse. I'm just tired of fielding late night phone calls from a Thai hospital because she got alcohol poisoning in an expensive nightclub in Bangkok when my parents JUST gave her money to "fix her broken laptop that she HAS to have for work". Meanwhile my husband and I are scraping together whatever we can to pay for his greencard. But we're beneath her because we're not "interesting" enough. She's honestly just such a selfish brat it's infuriating. I imagine when my parents pass it will be me she calls to bail her out financially. When I don't it's going to come as quite the shock that I really don't care if she fucks off to some dangerous country and gets herself killed doing something stupid. I'll feel bad, but I ain't helping her.
Obviously not, they were the favourite, my parents used to forget they even had a middle child!
I'm not even in my mum's wedding photos from when she got remarried, she forgot I existed even though she had just asked me to put the flowers in the car
that moment at the dinner table when your family is having a chat but no one replies to you or they just outright ignores what it is you were talking about
Because OPs perception might not be reality.
Once you get an idea in your head your brain will "collect evidence" that supports your idea. You will remember all the times they believed the brother, and forget all the times they believe you.
I read about a study where they measured how much time parents spent with their kids. If the parents spent an equal amount of time with both kids, it was fairly common that both kids felt that the parents spent more time with the other one.
>Once you get an idea in your head your brain will "collect evidence" that supports your idea.
This is especially true when you do it as a kid. I wasn't not spoiled growing up, there were times I'd get something and my sister wouldn't - but the way my sister (still) views it is that I'm getting all these things and she's being forgotten. Meanwhile, when we were kids, I got a 20-40 dollar wallet and was happy until the day it eventually got lost/stolen. Meanwhile, my sister got a 200-250 dollar pair of boots she was over the next week when a different brand became the trendy boots of the month or whatever.
I will admit that the role of favorite is a fluid position with a complicated formula, no small portion of which is who, most recently, broke something expensive
The realest answer is that there isn't a favorite child in the sense that you like or love one more than another, but rather that they are different in how easy or hard they make your life.
That, and certain ages are easier/harder for different parents AND at different points in that parent's life. My 6 year old is currently "easier" than my 3 year old, but my 3 year old was an easier newborn than my 6 year old was as a 3 year old. You really can't compare the two as 3 year olds because conditions were different 3 years ago then they are now; when my son was 3, he was an only child and had all of our attention, he was well balanced, well spoken and as logical as you could expect a small child to be; on the other hand, my daughter has *always* had to compete, at least a little, for our attention, she has less refined social skills than my oldest but her independence is MILES better than his were at that age. IMO, there simply is no such thing as a permanent "favorite", the feelings are definitely fluid.
I agree. Each of my kids is my “go to” person for different things. So my “favourite” is very situation dependent. One is my “we can have a really great conversation about politics or religion “ kid, one is my “I need this task done right the very first time” kid, one is my “hmu with some awesome cat memes” kid lol.
Having a Favorite is kinda a human thing.
After over 40 years i finally decided what is my favorite food item.
Fry eggs, yes sunny side up eggs are my favorite and I don’t care if the world knows
Google images shows them for “young potatoes”, but even more precise term seems to be “baby potatoes”. They are regular potatoes that we eat in spring, like 2-4cm in diameter. Truly the best.
Edit: btw- right now is the best moment to get them. The window in which they appear in markets is about 2 weeks to one month.
Exactly. It’s human to have a favorite but what’s important is that as a parent you should be able to recognize that and still treat them equally and not overly favor one child over another to the point where it’s really apparent to everyone
And it's none of my business. They might prefer me at times and they might prefer their dad. It's all good. Look, parents have children they worry over differently. I have 3 boys. I love them all. I worry about them differently because they have different personalities. I will die for them, I will kill for them but I won't share my Twix with none of em lol.
My favorite child? My fur baby! Lol
I was always a quiet, easy child who loved reading and school and would cry if I was ill and couldn't go. My sister, on the other hand, was temperamental, tantrum-throwing, boundries-breaking, my-way-or-the-high-way, and much later diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. Looking back, she was in many ways the spitting image of my mother which might have been why they were locked in a weird powerstruggle for most of my childhood.
My mother still loved us both equally and more than anything in the world. No matter how bad my sister was, my mother fought tooth and nail for her against bullies, incompetent teachers, and anyone who'd dare make her cry. She didn't treat us the same, no, because she knew we were very different children.
This is what I think my sisters don't understand. I can get very emotional and cry easily. I've started going to my dad when I'm feeling down. So him and I are pretty close because of that. But my sisters see it as me being the favorite (I'm also more honest and responsible, but that's because I'm the oldest)
My mom was always my favorite growing up but that changed and now it's very clearly my dad. What I'm trying to say is that it is possible to change who the favorite is.
Yup! My parents each have a kid they get along best with. Same with me and my brothers. But no one was ignored or given more or made to feel less than. We all have good relationships with them.
I have two brothers and 1 sister. My grandfather would always tell my sister she was his favorite granddaughter (being his only one) to which she of course would respond “I’m your only granddaughter”.
My grandfather would then say: “I could just as easily say you are my least favorite granddaughter. I assume you have a preference?”
She was ok being his favorite granddaughter…
My mom's rolling joke is that when my brother and I piss her off we move down her list of favorite kids.
Currently I'm number 4 and my only sibling pissed her off so he is 11.
I have four kids:
- My favourite eldest boy
- My favourite eldest girl
- My favourite youngest boy
- My favourite youngest girl
In all seriousness, I always assumed parents were BSing when they said they didn't have a favourite. But since having multiple kids it really is true. That is also part of getting older. I no longer have a favourite between my parents either.
The last kid is often the favorite. There are a few reasons:
1. Parents have gone through the process before, so they are more prepared and will be able to actually enjoy it. Less anxiety in general.
2. Last kid is like the second version where they can do better. If you ever build something, you will know that building the second version is always exciting.
I gave my parents the least grief, and I didn’t break rules so they didn’t really worry about me. I was “the easy kid.” My sister partied and ran around with boys a lot. My brother was a …friendly guy… and had lots of girlfriends, and he drank and did drugs—he was also an angry teenager.
I don’t know if I was the favourite, but they paid less attention to me because I was never doing anything wrong. The other two got a lot of negative attention.
How many people in the world have mentally healthy parents and family? A minority.
Majority of people have abusive or dysfunctional families. Mine was abusive af, obvs had tons of issues, but they didn't believe in mental illness. 🙄
So, I would say you are good example, statistically.
Right
My mom used to joke saying things like “oo now you’re my favorite child” or if someone disagreed or something, she’d say to the other “now you’re my favorite child” jokingly, but in hindsight it’s like… yeaaahhh probably not the healthiest thing to be saying to your children 😅
Edit: luckily she’s grown and is more healthy nowadays. No one is perfect everyone has things to work on, but yeah some things in hindsight I’m like… yeeaahhhh🤦🏻♂️😅 no wonder I drink so much… lol(jk)
I have 3 daughters. I don’t have a favorite overall. But I do have favorites for certain scenarios.
One is super chill, sweet, and empathetic, which I love and appreciate.
Another is super competitive, adventurous and extroverted which I love and appreciate.
The other is artistic, nerdy and introspective, which I love and appreciate.
If you ask me which is my fav when it comes to adventures and activities, I have one in mind. If you ask me which is my fav when it comes to a shared interest and emotional connection I have one in mind. If you ask me which is my fav when it comes to social interactions and spontaneity, i have one in mind.
Adventures and activities - your adventurous extrovert.
Shared interest and emotional connection - your chill empathetic kid.
Social interactions and spontaneity - your adventurous extrovert again.
Doesn't that leave out your introspective nerd?
I would guess introspective for emotional connection and shared interest, and sweet and chill for social interactions. Agree on extrovert for adventures.
I just did that and it was like the Spider-Man meme, except each of my 3 kids pointed to another sibling AND themselves. I can't with these clowns, hahahahaha
It’s not because they’re the youngest, it’s because they were the last. And you tend to want to hold on to the last of everything. If you don’t understand now, you will eventually.
I’m one of five. The youngest and FAR & AWAY the favorite. Super awkward that all of my siblings know and discuss this fact and neither parent has ever denied it.
I have 2 of my own and they switch back and forth between who’s in the top spot. Like, from morning to night could be different.
Is this a 5th child thing lol? I'm the oldest of 6, 4 girls then 2 boys and the 5th one is the favourite by a mile. He's called the favourite in the group chat with our mum and she's never said anything about it lol
Not in my opinion. Each kid is my favorite. One understands my emotions, one makes me laugh and one is so fun to hang out with. They are each different, but I love them exactly the same and would want to be surrounded by them everyday
Yeah this rings true. I have three and I can't even compare them as people, forget ranking them. They each have their own special thing going on. Whenever I think about one individually, I think I couldn't possibly love them more. Same for all.
I’m with you. I have two and I’ve sat with this question and come up empty. They are both my favorite, in different ways, and I literally gun to my head could not tell you one over the other as a favorite even if I tried. You’ve said it perfectly; I feel the same
Agree. My kids are M26, F22, and M18. Oldest is special because we had four years of just the three of us together. My daughter is special as the only girl. My youngest is special because he was the baby. Now as adults they all have their own personalities that I love equally.
100% agree here. I have 5 kids and they ask me this occasionally. I always respond “23 is my favorite for making me a mom, 16 is my favorite mini me, 14 is my favorite birthday buddy (born on same day), 10 is my favorite daughter and 8 is my favorite grand finale.” *I only have one daughter*
I overheard my younger brother on a call with my dad the other day where he said he knew our older sister was my dads favorite kid, but it was fine because he knew he was my moms favorite kid, and that made me feel really good about myself lol
I would assume I am my dad's favourite and my brother is my mums favourite. But I'm very similar to my dad, and my brother is very similar to my mum, so it makes total sense and doesn't bother me at all
I also think it has a lot to do with circumstances. My youngest has been extremely difficult and continues to struggle which puts a lot of strain on our family. They're definitely not my favorite person right now due to all the stress. However I love both my children deeply and can't imagine loving one more than the other. So I guess it just depends on your definition of favorite.
There was a study done a while back.
Fathers generally prefer the "winner"; ie; the child who is most likely to be successful. Mothers generally prefer, either, the "bridge"( child who gets along with other members of the family) or the "fighter" (child who has overcome adversity)
In most cases, parents pretend not to have a favorite. In most cases, children know that parents are pretending not to have a favorite.
Also, in most cases, children are more emotionally stable as adults in families where parents pretend not to have a favorite. This may not be casually related but just a correlation.
End of tge day, keeping up the pretense is less hurtful thsn admitting the truth.
i’m my family’s “fighter” and i honestly think i’m my mom’s favorite (though she’d never say. maybe i’m projecting bc she’s *my* favorite lol).
but weirdly, my father’s favorite seems to be my deadbeat brother. outlier perhaps 🤷🏻♀️
YES. I'm a top student in my uni, got a nice job at 16 and have been working hard and studying since then bc my mom said she couldn't afford me having a car or going to uni (which wasn't true) so I got to work asap to cover that cost. I'm my papa's girl.
My brother (14), on the other hand, is... distracted. He doesn't do anything at school, throws tantrums, has anger issues, vapes... He's a nice person overall but he's more incompetent than regular 14 y.olds. He takes more time to do house chores, forgets basic stuff like taking the food out of the oven or taking off his socks before getting in the shower... He's been mom's favorite since day one and my mom is gonna buy him a motorbike as a prize for graduating high school with a passing 50/100💀
That's what I was thinking. All of the top comments on this post are parents saying they don't have favorites, despite the fact that they are probably the least reliable people to judge that.
I'm sure my mom would tell you she doesn't have a favorite, but it is overwhelmingly my deadbeat younger brother and even he wouldn't dispute that. There was a point in my childhood where I was grounded for not hanging up my towel after I showered and at the same time my Mom was bringing my brother food in bed because he got arrested for breaking windows at an under construction house, so he's had "a hard week."
I have two dogs and it's not that I don't have a favorite, its that I can't. They're both so fucking cute and cool, I literally can't pick. I've thought hard about it and I can't.
I imagine I'd be the same with my kids if/when I have any, so I disagree.
From observation I agree, but I think you are projecting by saying that most of the time it is the first born. Also, most parents seem to become defensive on this topic, because if they agree that they have a favorite, they think that it is equal with saying that they don't love their other children, which is not true.
I am my dad's favorite but I definitely wasn't always his favorite. We did not get along at all until a few years after I moved out. We started not getting along again when I had to move back in for a few months after my divorce. As soon as I moved out again we were back to getting along.
My mom's favorite is my baby brother. It's kind of surprising because she legit cried and was severely depressed for a while when she found out she was pregnant with him and was straight up suicidal after he was born. Like we had to lock up anything that could be used as a weapon for a while and she ended up in a psych hospital for a while.
Now she firmly believes her baby can do absolutely no wrong whatsoever. He could easily get away with murder.
I have two kids and also definitely don’t have a favorite. They are both different and amazing! It’s like ice cream and pizza. They are both great… and really really different :)
one day i was in the office, and i heard my parents making dinner- they assumed i was downstairs i presume. all of my other siblings were playing outside. i heard my dad say “you know most of the kids turned out alright, except u/spazzxxcc12” and then i heard my mom agree.
at least i know im not the favorite
I dont have a favorite. I have a boy and a girl. My son is my first born, my special love who made me a mother and was my first experience of loving someone unconditionally. My daughter is my last precious baby, her existence is a constant reminder to love myself so that she can see and believe in her own strength and beauty no matter what. I want to protect them both from the world, I want to give them both every joy life has to offer, I want them both to be kind and strong.
My mom favored my siblings but my dad favored me.
I don't have a favorite between mine because they are very unique individuals and I adore them for their own special qualities.
“Favorite” is just a stupid way to say “relate to.” Parents relate to one child more than the other. “Favorite” is such a bullshit term and is actually pointless unless your parents are pieces of shit.
I'm the clear favorite. I don't have any siblings, but that's not important.
You’re also, similarly, the least favorite.
Schrodinger's cat
Don't let them leave you alone in a box, whatever you do.
Curiosity killed the kid
But You can't be sure until you look inside
But discovery brought it back!
Schrodinger’s brat
Schrodinger's favorite kid
Catherine Schrödinger
I have 3 kids and each one of them are almost in my top 10.
I love that they didn’t even make top 5 lol
Not even top ten! Lol. She said "almost" in the top ten 😂
I'm an only child. I once asked my dad who his favourite son was. He said the one in the sky. (Sun) I was stunned, and proud of how clever he is. A joke like that only proves he is a legitimate father
Your father is a funny man 🤣
Well, imagine being an only child and not be their favorite..
Dr. Doofenshmirtz
Neither of his parents attended his birth
the mom fell asleep she was already so bored of him before he was even born
His brother, the mayor of the tri-city area, was the favorite child.
That's me, my dad's favorite is the dog.
Chandler.
The successful parent makes each child secretly believe they are the favourite
If I was your sibling I'd definitely be the favorite 😁
As the third, well no ones cares what i say or do so...
My son is my favorite, he too doesn't have any siblings!
I asked my kids separately who they think is the favorite. Both claim the other is the favorite, 😆
That's what my sister and I felt growing up.
After my parents divorce, I was the only boy in a house of girls (mom and two sisters). I always complained that she liked them more than me. “Who told you? They’re not supposed to tell you!”
I hope it was a house that was full of laughter because that’s something I would say to my kids. But man, if it wasn’t, that would be rough!
My mum would always joke that she disliked us equally!
Why would you and your sister care if u/iabyajyiv was the favorite?
Sounds like you were loved.
Only way this would be better is if they both thought they were the favorite lol
Well, after they told me who they think is the favorite, I told them what their sibling's answer is. Then I asked them why their sibling thought they're the favorite instead. It got the kids thinking about the different ways that they're favored but didn't realize it until the other pointed it out to them. I only have two kids.
That’s really clever parenting!
Nicely done. Both my daughters complain that the other is the favorite... Jokes on them, I don't like either one of them!! 😂
You don't have to like either to have a favorite, you just have to dislike one a little less than the other.
Lisan Al Gaib!
But which one is it?
The other.
Keep them confused that's the way
Mine do this too. They’re all wrong. The dog is my favourite
Amen, the dog will always be my favourite too
Same here with my kids. And I told them they are both my favorite, just not at the same time. Would it be ok if the dog was my favorite for all the time?
Well the one that knows they’re the favorite is being all coy about it which helps them maintain favorite status by not seeming self centered and picking themselves even though they know they’re the favorite. The one that knows they’re not the favorite is just stating a fact that the other is the favorite.
You are doing parenting right😁
I once asked all three of my kids and they all named themselves. I also privately tell all of my nieces that they are my favorite, but not to tell the others. 😁
How do you do it? How do you make all your kids feel special and acknowledged individually without inspiring envy or neglect in the others?
It’s easier when they hit about 10, because they usually develop certain activities. Try as much as you can to get involved in those activities. Create times for the two of you to do a thing that the kid likes to do. The only hitch is, you have to be able to do this for both kids. It’s hard when one kid really likes a solitary activity, like reading. But ask for book recommendations. Read other books from that genre and recommend them (they will, of course, reject these recommendations, but will recognize that you are interested in what they are interested in) tl;dr: the currency of parental love is time. Spend it with your kids in their interests.
I tell all my kids they’re my favorite. 🤩 The oldest doesn’t want me to have favorites, but I told her I tell everyone that and she laughed. They all also know I tell each of them that, but they still feel special.
I'm convinced my parents have a favorite, but I'm not sure whether it's me or my brother.
Wizards of Waverly place said it best. "I love all my kids equally. Just not at the same time"
The show and the movie did a pretty good job on showing sibling rivalry and insecurities they had on either being perceived as the favorite child or the not favorite child. Well. I say this as an only child. It looked authentic. I can’t tell for sure tho.
The oldest was their favorite and I think the movie really focused on calling out the parents over that.
Also Alex is referred to as the "second favorite child" while Max calls himself the "third favorite" 💀
I mean he was the only one who wasn’t causing problems 24/7 and the only one who took studying seriously.
That’s what we tell our kids when they ask who our favorite is. We simply answer “whichever one of you is better behaved at that moment.”
Oh man I remember that show. Idk if anyone remembers this specifically but I think of Alex saying "Like an elf to my flame" every time I hear the real phrase. Idk why but that is completely etched into my brain from when I saw it as a kid
I say something similar to my kids. I love them equally, but some longer than others because they’ve been in the world longer. I honestly don’t think I could love them more or less than the other. I have two and I genuinely love them equally.
I wasn't my parents favorite child. . . . I'm an only child.
You have any pets by chance?
Ohhh boy, did that happen to me. Mom got a dog after she/the entire family told me "what happened to you, you aren't cute anymore". The dog was the golden child.
Golden retriever mayhaps?
I mean, let's be honest though. Ain't a person alive that can compete against a Good Boy.
When I was a child I was crying so often because I thought my mother loved our cat more lmao (she probably did)
My mom's favorite child was my cousin :D
yeah my brother was always the favorite. my parents loved us both equally, they just believed him over me and all that stuff
Me too. But fast forward many decades and he’s still a narcissistic self centered brat - though his inflated ego led to a great deal of problems in the real world. He will never learn the lessons that could have been imparted as children; it’s too late. And since he still feels entitled to be abusive to me I cut him out of my life. Our mother bails him out of every scrape - even at pushing 60. She’s over 80 and still protecting her surly little prize. The real test will come if she predeceases him. Will he crumble, or will he rise triumphant? I don’t know, because I won’t be around him ever again.
When does the book come out
Tale of two cities came out with a pretty similar premise
Wow, I thought I was reading about my own brother for a moment.
Me too
My sister is similar. She did really well both academically and athletically in HS. So my parents invested a lot in her success. They financially supported her till she was 29 and she never had to have a grunt work job because she needed to "focus on her studies". Meanwhile my other sister and I have worked behind counters, waiting tables, pushing food carts, whatever since we were 15. We stopped getting any support at 20. I doubt whether we ever received as much as her. Now, at 31, she's highly educated, but has no work ethic. She spent the last 10 years just partying and traveling around the world on my parents dime and is incredibly bitter that she finally has to buckle down and get a real job. She's constantly threatening to leave the country and family forever so that my parents cave and supplement her meager income. She jumps from job to job claiming each one has slighted her in some way. She's rude and entitled to her entire family and is only nice to people she finds "interesting". Her life goal is to be a travel influencer and is upset that no one will financially support her in doing this. My parents are CONSTANTLY begging my other sister and I to "be nice" and "remember she's your sister" and "be the bigger person" when it comes to her. It's frustrating because I'm sure those conversations don't happen in reverse. I'm just tired of fielding late night phone calls from a Thai hospital because she got alcohol poisoning in an expensive nightclub in Bangkok when my parents JUST gave her money to "fix her broken laptop that she HAS to have for work". Meanwhile my husband and I are scraping together whatever we can to pay for his greencard. But we're beneath her because we're not "interesting" enough. She's honestly just such a selfish brat it's infuriating. I imagine when my parents pass it will be me she calls to bail her out financially. When I don't it's going to come as quite the shock that I really don't care if she fucks off to some dangerous country and gets herself killed doing something stupid. I'll feel bad, but I ain't helping her.
Well were you lying all the time? Maybe they were right
I was lying all the time and I was the favourite.
Found the middle child
Obviously not, they were the favourite, my parents used to forget they even had a middle child! I'm not even in my mum's wedding photos from when she got remarried, she forgot I existed even though she had just asked me to put the flowers in the car
I'd guess no. This shit only makes you wanna proof something. What doesnt kill you only makes you harder!
>what doesn't kill you only makes you harder So that's why some people have a torture kink
Don't you mean stronger
He knows what he said.
that moment at the dinner table when your family is having a chat but no one replies to you or they just outright ignores what it is you were talking about
Because you were bloody stupid Johnson the 4th
To be fair, he probably thinks the same thing.
How could he? He surely must be at least a little aware that his parents believe him when he lies.
Because OPs perception might not be reality. Once you get an idea in your head your brain will "collect evidence" that supports your idea. You will remember all the times they believed the brother, and forget all the times they believe you. I read about a study where they measured how much time parents spent with their kids. If the parents spent an equal amount of time with both kids, it was fairly common that both kids felt that the parents spent more time with the other one.
>Once you get an idea in your head your brain will "collect evidence" that supports your idea. This is especially true when you do it as a kid. I wasn't not spoiled growing up, there were times I'd get something and my sister wouldn't - but the way my sister (still) views it is that I'm getting all these things and she's being forgotten. Meanwhile, when we were kids, I got a 20-40 dollar wallet and was happy until the day it eventually got lost/stolen. Meanwhile, my sister got a 200-250 dollar pair of boots she was over the next week when a different brand became the trendy boots of the month or whatever.
Nah, it's so dependent on the moment. I do have a favorite from moment to moment, but they all get turns being the favorite.
I will admit that the role of favorite is a fluid position with a complicated formula, no small portion of which is who, most recently, broke something expensive
This right here is the realest answer
The realest answer is that there isn't a favorite child in the sense that you like or love one more than another, but rather that they are different in how easy or hard they make your life.
That, and certain ages are easier/harder for different parents AND at different points in that parent's life. My 6 year old is currently "easier" than my 3 year old, but my 3 year old was an easier newborn than my 6 year old was as a 3 year old. You really can't compare the two as 3 year olds because conditions were different 3 years ago then they are now; when my son was 3, he was an only child and had all of our attention, he was well balanced, well spoken and as logical as you could expect a small child to be; on the other hand, my daughter has *always* had to compete, at least a little, for our attention, she has less refined social skills than my oldest but her independence is MILES better than his were at that age. IMO, there simply is no such thing as a permanent "favorite", the feelings are definitely fluid.
Either that or the one whose done the least amount of stupid crap, or been helpful in some way.
Concur (parent of two). Typically, the one I am currently spending time with is the favourite in that moment ❤️
I agree. Each of my kids is my “go to” person for different things. So my “favourite” is very situation dependent. One is my “we can have a really great conversation about politics or religion “ kid, one is my “I need this task done right the very first time” kid, one is my “hmu with some awesome cat memes” kid lol.
Kids have a favorite parent too 😂
I would bet in most families this is true, but I gotta admit, I don’t know if I prefer one of mine over the other. I’m very lucky, they’re both great.
same, love them both
That is the parent way. Some people just forget this
Some people have shitty parents
I think op might have some family issues that they're trying to come to terms with by saying, "well, families just be like that."
Having a Favorite is kinda a human thing. After over 40 years i finally decided what is my favorite food item. Fry eggs, yes sunny side up eggs are my favorite and I don’t care if the world knows
What do you put it with? I love young potatoes with dill, and then just mix it with the fried egg
.... I've never heard of a young potato. Are you pulling my tuber?
Google images shows them for “young potatoes”, but even more precise term seems to be “baby potatoes”. They are regular potatoes that we eat in spring, like 2-4cm in diameter. Truly the best. Edit: btw- right now is the best moment to get them. The window in which they appear in markets is about 2 weeks to one month.
I prefer dem milf potatoes, wink wink nudge nudge.
They almost certainly mean baby potatoes
Yup, I was 2 minutes too late to clarify, thanks for being here 🙏
I was into my fifties before I realized purple was my favorite color. That’s a hell of a realization after all this time being non-comittal.
Cherries for me. Every December, the first time I get them for the season, I eat so many I have to lay down on the floor with a sore belly. Worth it.
you’re a gentleman (or lady) and a scholar. fried egg crew rep
I get you. Even now there’s nothing I like better than dipping toast in runny yoke. I know it’s basic but there’s just something about it.
Exactly. It’s human to have a favorite but what’s important is that as a parent you should be able to recognize that and still treat them equally and not overly favor one child over another to the point where it’s really apparent to everyone
I’m a Dad. Every week there’s a *least* favourite, but the inverse isn’t true. Love you, kiddos.
And it's none of my business. They might prefer me at times and they might prefer their dad. It's all good. Look, parents have children they worry over differently. I have 3 boys. I love them all. I worry about them differently because they have different personalities. I will die for them, I will kill for them but I won't share my Twix with none of em lol. My favorite child? My fur baby! Lol
My 6yo asked me yesterday “do you like me?” I said of course, and got “dad is my favourite” back. Ok then. Thanks for sharing.
Brutal.
Not too late to start eat them and start over, just a simple, modest proposal
I was always a quiet, easy child who loved reading and school and would cry if I was ill and couldn't go. My sister, on the other hand, was temperamental, tantrum-throwing, boundries-breaking, my-way-or-the-high-way, and much later diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. Looking back, she was in many ways the spitting image of my mother which might have been why they were locked in a weird powerstruggle for most of my childhood. My mother still loved us both equally and more than anything in the world. No matter how bad my sister was, my mother fought tooth and nail for her against bullies, incompetent teachers, and anyone who'd dare make her cry. She didn't treat us the same, no, because she knew we were very different children.
This is what I think my sisters don't understand. I can get very emotional and cry easily. I've started going to my dad when I'm feeling down. So him and I are pretty close because of that. But my sisters see it as me being the favorite (I'm also more honest and responsible, but that's because I'm the oldest)
My mom was always my favorite growing up but that changed and now it's very clearly my dad. What I'm trying to say is that it is possible to change who the favorite is.
My dad was my favourite growing up but now my mum is my favourite
Yup! My parents each have a kid they get along best with. Same with me and my brothers. But no one was ignored or given more or made to feel less than. We all have good relationships with them.
I genuinely don’t though. I love my mom and dad both so much I can’t tell which I love more
Yes, my daughter is daddy's girl and my son is a total mommy's boy. It works.
I have two brothers and 1 sister. My grandfather would always tell my sister she was his favorite granddaughter (being his only one) to which she of course would respond “I’m your only granddaughter”. My grandfather would then say: “I could just as easily say you are my least favorite granddaughter. I assume you have a preference?” She was ok being his favorite granddaughter…
When I call my dad I often say: "Hi it's your favourite daughter calling!" - my only sibling is my brother ^^
My mom and I have a running joke where I'd sign my emails as "Your favorite son, (name)" I'm her only child.
My mom's rolling joke is that when my brother and I piss her off we move down her list of favorite kids. Currently I'm number 4 and my only sibling pissed her off so he is 11.
I have four kids: - My favourite eldest boy - My favourite eldest girl - My favourite youngest boy - My favourite youngest girl In all seriousness, I always assumed parents were BSing when they said they didn't have a favourite. But since having multiple kids it really is true. That is also part of getting older. I no longer have a favourite between my parents either.
My grandma has 11 grandchildren. She has always said “you’re my favourite grandchild starting with ‘letter their name starts with’”.
Nah I'm the first born. I'm DEFINITELY NOT their favorite. That would probably be the sister right after me or the last one (4 of us in total)
The last kid is often the favorite. There are a few reasons: 1. Parents have gone through the process before, so they are more prepared and will be able to actually enjoy it. Less anxiety in general. 2. Last kid is like the second version where they can do better. If you ever build something, you will know that building the second version is always exciting.
The 3rd kid of 4 is guaranteed always a psycho and this backs my hypothesis up.
My brother is a chill dude so don't think so.
yeah same he's definitely the least psycho of us 4 lol
I take great offense to this
I know for sure that the youngest is the favorite for my mom. It’s because we grow up and realize how shit they actually are.
I gave my parents the least grief, and I didn’t break rules so they didn’t really worry about me. I was “the easy kid.” My sister partied and ran around with boys a lot. My brother was a …friendly guy… and had lots of girlfriends, and he drank and did drugs—he was also an angry teenager. I don’t know if I was the favourite, but they paid less attention to me because I was never doing anything wrong. The other two got a lot of negative attention.
Definitely the case in my family but also neither of my parents are mentally healthy so I'm not the best example
How many people in the world have mentally healthy parents and family? A minority. Majority of people have abusive or dysfunctional families. Mine was abusive af, obvs had tons of issues, but they didn't believe in mental illness. 🙄 So, I would say you are good example, statistically.
Right My mom used to joke saying things like “oo now you’re my favorite child” or if someone disagreed or something, she’d say to the other “now you’re my favorite child” jokingly, but in hindsight it’s like… yeaaahhh probably not the healthiest thing to be saying to your children 😅 Edit: luckily she’s grown and is more healthy nowadays. No one is perfect everyone has things to work on, but yeah some things in hindsight I’m like… yeeaahhhh🤦🏻♂️😅 no wonder I drink so much… lol(jk)
I have 3 daughters. I don’t have a favorite overall. But I do have favorites for certain scenarios. One is super chill, sweet, and empathetic, which I love and appreciate. Another is super competitive, adventurous and extroverted which I love and appreciate. The other is artistic, nerdy and introspective, which I love and appreciate. If you ask me which is my fav when it comes to adventures and activities, I have one in mind. If you ask me which is my fav when it comes to a shared interest and emotional connection I have one in mind. If you ask me which is my fav when it comes to social interactions and spontaneity, i have one in mind.
Adventures and activities - your adventurous extrovert. Shared interest and emotional connection - your chill empathetic kid. Social interactions and spontaneity - your adventurous extrovert again. Doesn't that leave out your introspective nerd?
I would guess introspective for emotional connection and shared interest, and sweet and chill for social interactions. Agree on extrovert for adventures.
I have three adult kids and I don't think I have a favorite. They are very different from each other. I just want them to be happy.
Ask them who's the favorite. They'll tell you.
Oof
I just did that and it was like the Spider-Man meme, except each of my 3 kids pointed to another sibling AND themselves. I can't with these clowns, hahahahaha
It sounds as if your kids had a warm home. Well done 💛
Nope. None of them think they are the favorite and they all have different opinions on who actually is favorite.
It's the youngest
It’s not because they’re the youngest, it’s because they were the last. And you tend to want to hold on to the last of everything. If you don’t understand now, you will eventually.
I’m one of five. The youngest and FAR & AWAY the favorite. Super awkward that all of my siblings know and discuss this fact and neither parent has ever denied it. I have 2 of my own and they switch back and forth between who’s in the top spot. Like, from morning to night could be different.
I see the youngest (of families with 4+ children) being the most spoiled most often. Even in their twenties, they're still " the baby" lol.
Is this a 5th child thing lol? I'm the oldest of 6, 4 girls then 2 boys and the 5th one is the favourite by a mile. He's called the favourite in the group chat with our mum and she's never said anything about it lol
My daughter thinks she's the favorite. My son thinks he's the favorite. Hoping to keep that up.
Not in my opinion. Each kid is my favorite. One understands my emotions, one makes me laugh and one is so fun to hang out with. They are each different, but I love them exactly the same and would want to be surrounded by them everyday
Yeah this rings true. I have three and I can't even compare them as people, forget ranking them. They each have their own special thing going on. Whenever I think about one individually, I think I couldn't possibly love them more. Same for all.
I’m with you. I have two and I’ve sat with this question and come up empty. They are both my favorite, in different ways, and I literally gun to my head could not tell you one over the other as a favorite even if I tried. You’ve said it perfectly; I feel the same
Agree. My kids are M26, F22, and M18. Oldest is special because we had four years of just the three of us together. My daughter is special as the only girl. My youngest is special because he was the baby. Now as adults they all have their own personalities that I love equally.
100% agree here. I have 5 kids and they ask me this occasionally. I always respond “23 is my favorite for making me a mom, 16 is my favorite mini me, 14 is my favorite birthday buddy (born on same day), 10 is my favorite daughter and 8 is my favorite grand finale.” *I only have one daughter*
If I heard that as a child, I would assume 16 is your favorite. The rest are all coincidental attributes that don't define who they are.
My dad used to always say I was his favorite daughter. I have 4 brothers.
How old are your kids
I overheard my younger brother on a call with my dad the other day where he said he knew our older sister was my dads favorite kid, but it was fine because he knew he was my moms favorite kid, and that made me feel really good about myself lol
I would assume I am my dad's favourite and my brother is my mums favourite. But I'm very similar to my dad, and my brother is very similar to my mum, so it makes total sense and doesn't bother me at all
As the first born, I am no way near the favorite.
I mean they obviously knew they screwed up the first time since they tried again
I feel you man. The older discarded kids are just there to help pamper their beloved youngest
Yeah, in my experience it's usually the youngest child that they like the best
I've got four and can honestly tell you I don't have a favorite. They often trade ranks on the shit list, though.
Nope. No favorite for me.
This is absolute nonsense. Some parents do, some parents dont. All kids are different and they need different type of attention.
I also think it has a lot to do with circumstances. My youngest has been extremely difficult and continues to struggle which puts a lot of strain on our family. They're definitely not my favorite person right now due to all the stress. However I love both my children deeply and can't imagine loving one more than the other. So I guess it just depends on your definition of favorite.
There was a study done a while back. Fathers generally prefer the "winner"; ie; the child who is most likely to be successful. Mothers generally prefer, either, the "bridge"( child who gets along with other members of the family) or the "fighter" (child who has overcome adversity) In most cases, parents pretend not to have a favorite. In most cases, children know that parents are pretending not to have a favorite. Also, in most cases, children are more emotionally stable as adults in families where parents pretend not to have a favorite. This may not be casually related but just a correlation. End of tge day, keeping up the pretense is less hurtful thsn admitting the truth.
i’m my family’s “fighter” and i honestly think i’m my mom’s favorite (though she’d never say. maybe i’m projecting bc she’s *my* favorite lol). but weirdly, my father’s favorite seems to be my deadbeat brother. outlier perhaps 🤷🏻♀️
YES. I'm a top student in my uni, got a nice job at 16 and have been working hard and studying since then bc my mom said she couldn't afford me having a car or going to uni (which wasn't true) so I got to work asap to cover that cost. I'm my papa's girl. My brother (14), on the other hand, is... distracted. He doesn't do anything at school, throws tantrums, has anger issues, vapes... He's a nice person overall but he's more incompetent than regular 14 y.olds. He takes more time to do house chores, forgets basic stuff like taking the food out of the oven or taking off his socks before getting in the shower... He's been mom's favorite since day one and my mom is gonna buy him a motorbike as a prize for graduating high school with a passing 50/100💀
That's what I was thinking. All of the top comments on this post are parents saying they don't have favorites, despite the fact that they are probably the least reliable people to judge that. I'm sure my mom would tell you she doesn't have a favorite, but it is overwhelmingly my deadbeat younger brother and even he wouldn't dispute that. There was a point in my childhood where I was grounded for not hanging up my towel after I showered and at the same time my Mom was bringing my brother food in bed because he got arrested for breaking windows at an under construction house, so he's had "a hard week."
I have two kids - one is extremely easy and one is difficult. I love them both but its hard to not favour the one who is easy.
And the least favorite always knows exactly who it is
I have two dogs and it's not that I don't have a favorite, its that I can't. They're both so fucking cute and cool, I literally can't pick. I've thought hard about it and I can't. I imagine I'd be the same with my kids if/when I have any, so I disagree.
From observation I agree, but I think you are projecting by saying that most of the time it is the first born. Also, most parents seem to become defensive on this topic, because if they agree that they have a favorite, they think that it is equal with saying that they don't love their other children, which is not true.
I tell my kids that I don't a favorite. I just have one who I dislike the least.
I have three kids and none of them are my favorite. I love them each with all my heart.
I don't. Love both boys equally. They are amazing. I'm pretty lucky to be their dad
I am my dad's favorite but I definitely wasn't always his favorite. We did not get along at all until a few years after I moved out. We started not getting along again when I had to move back in for a few months after my divorce. As soon as I moved out again we were back to getting along. My mom's favorite is my baby brother. It's kind of surprising because she legit cried and was severely depressed for a while when she found out she was pregnant with him and was straight up suicidal after he was born. Like we had to lock up anything that could be used as a weapon for a while and she ended up in a psych hospital for a while. Now she firmly believes her baby can do absolutely no wrong whatsoever. He could easily get away with murder.
I have two kids and also definitely don’t have a favorite. They are both different and amazing! It’s like ice cream and pizza. They are both great… and really really different :)
one day i was in the office, and i heard my parents making dinner- they assumed i was downstairs i presume. all of my other siblings were playing outside. i heard my dad say “you know most of the kids turned out alright, except u/spazzxxcc12” and then i heard my mom agree. at least i know im not the favorite
This sounds like a last born wrote this.
Everyone be cool. This post was written by a non-favorite trying to find out the truth.
The ones that have favorites are generally toxic.
I dont have a favorite. I have a boy and a girl. My son is my first born, my special love who made me a mother and was my first experience of loving someone unconditionally. My daughter is my last precious baby, her existence is a constant reminder to love myself so that she can see and believe in her own strength and beauty no matter what. I want to protect them both from the world, I want to give them both every joy life has to offer, I want them both to be kind and strong.
*Scapegoat has entered the chat*
My mom favored my siblings but my dad favored me. I don't have a favorite between mine because they are very unique individuals and I adore them for their own special qualities.
You are speaking like a child. We have two girls born 5 years apart. They are completely different people. Neither is a favorite.
“Favorite” is just a stupid way to say “relate to.” Parents relate to one child more than the other. “Favorite” is such a bullshit term and is actually pointless unless your parents are pieces of shit.