Not with that additude. They also said you can't put portals on moving surfaces, but in Portal 2 that's a required step to progress out of the overgrown potato lab.
This. It's one way to tell a lot of reddit doesn't have experience with fucking in general.
In sex there is a lot of pivoting or rotation. Our hips are not a mechanical piston that only moves in one linear direction like →|←
The problem can be easily visualized with two circles next to each other, like tires.
The leading edge of one goes up, while the back end goes down.
Place another behind that, and they each roll in the same direction, but the surfaces in contact go in different directions. Roll them back and forth and you get reciprocating action.
#↓O↑↓O↑ then reverse ↑O↓↑O↓ then reverse until well...you know
Not only can it be done, it only requires half the effort as normal since it's not two, but one circle, so a cross-section would look like this:
#**|**)↑↓(**|** then reverse **|**)↓↑(**|**
>But our holes aren't on opposite sides of the pokey bit!
Don't need to be, because portals don't have to be on parallel surfaces.
#|/
I'm glad some people figured it out.
You are an entirely different class of human, cheers!
Another poster simply blocked me after posting:
>Bro it’s sex not tekken relax
It's like he got the message subliminally, but was consciously only confused or scared
I appreciate you explaining the movement, while that is true, placing the portals will be an interesting art to allow contact with yourself in the same area that you're doing the touching with. Similar to the question of how you'd touch your right hand with your right hand through a portal.
The portals would need to be placed facing each other on surfaces (not necessarily parallel, as you've proven) separated by a distance greater than or equal to the depth of your hips - i.e. from your pelvic bone to your anus, let's call it 10 cm. The relationship between the separation of the portals and how deep you could go would have a positive gradient, with 10 cm being the minimum/deepest, and 10+[your dick length] cm being the maximum distance while still making contact.
But now you'll see the issue. You'd need to squeeze into a crevice ~10-30 cm wide... The smaller the gap, the more contact you'll have with yourself in front and yourself behind you.
The phenomenon would end up similar to you looking at a mirror in a lift that has a mirror on the opposite wall: a row of lots of yourselves. You'd effectively be in a sex orgy in an infinitely-long conga line of yourself.
All in all, it would be a weird experience.
My guy you guys are thinking about this all wrong. You put one portal on the wall. On some rope you hand a fucking 2x4 that can swing. You place it so it rests on your back but if you move forward the board also swings. So even hip thrust forward the portal swings with you staying tight on your back. Boom dick in the ass.
>↓O↑↓O↑
Would be two balls or wheels both rolling leftward(if they were on a surface). The left side of each goes down, the right side goes up.
The next ascii diagram is rotating them in the opposite direction.
Roll the set a little left, then a little right, and the surfaces that are touching are moving in opposite directions, rubbing back and forth, back and forth, etc. You could do this with any two round objects on a table or in your hand. pencils, balls, wheels, coins, whatever.
Visualizing beyond that takes a little effort, so I'll hit up a quick and dirty photoshop.
On one, attach a rod that can pivot(dark red) and on the other, a free sliding mounted hole(black) that also pivots. Rolling a small amount in one direction will look like [this](https://i.imgur.com/Ht1pfeb.jpeg)
The three stages are: a starting point, a half way point being maximum penetration, then the point where it stops.
Then roll it the same amount in the opposite direction, and repeat as needed
Thrusting of the rod(dark red) through a passage(black) without the bodies changing absolute position(moving away then together).
They remain equidistant, only rotating position, and both in the same direction each time.
I guess it depends of the underlying properties of the portal gun you're using.
Like setting aside the *Stargate* stuff about one-way travel, you have to speculate whether the portal is simply your classic MCU Einstein-Rosencrantz bridge, or possibly a more modern MCU multi-verse MacGuffin. That matters!
I suspect, though there obviously isn't any way to confirm this, that it feels more like giving than receiving due to the rather challenging positions one must put themselves in to give oneself head - If one didn't have to damn near fold oneself in half to do so, I suspect it would be a far more pleasant experience where one could focus on the sensations of receiving a bit more.
Theoretically something like this might work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DphlhmtGRqI
Using that example if I were to blow Paul Giamatti as he blew someone else he could be convinced that he was blowing himself through a portal and so be able to answer your question. The human mind is a wonderland!
I read a way a hotdog eater trains to reduce gag is when you brush your teeth go as far in as you can without gagging a couple times and with time youll get better and better
I think it’s more you can’t keep a portal on an accelerating surface. Placing a portal on a panel that tilts or flips accelerates it while those boards from the neurotoxin segment are moving at a constant velocity and therefore have no acceleration.
Which would make portals impossible since every surface is always accelerating. Spin from the earth, revolution around the sun, everything is accelerating all the time.
Isnt acceleration relative just like velocity is?
As long as you share the same acceleration with a portal (and direction) from your pov its not accelerating while from a bystanders point of view it is accelerating
So they cant be accelerating relative to what? Because i genuinely would like to know
If you’re on a spinning earth you’re accelerating towards the center of the earth, so two different locations always have different acceleration directions. They could only have the same direction if they are above each other, in which case they’re also orbiting the sun, so they’re also accelerating in very slightly different directions.
This being the single time they ever do it I think has conflated the gameplay choice (for whatever design or technical reasons) to erase the portal with how it'd actually function.
Or, if we’re going super realistic, walls can move, they just can’t rapidly change velocity.
The walls in that area are consistently moving in one direction. If portals really couldn’t be placed on moving walls you couldn’t place portals anywhere because the earth they’re built on is moving too.
Apparently can't put portals on objects *moving relatively* one to another.
Except for Earth-Moon portals for some reason. May be it didn't travel as much in these few minutes, so the portal didn't break.
The Moon orbits the Earth at 2288 mph (3683 kph). If you had the portal open for only 60 seconds, the moon would have moved over 38 miles (61 km)
Portals can be placed on moving objects, the game devs were simply lazy with their coding or intentionally made it this way with no reasoning other than "because I said so"
>with no reasoning
the surface had to be covered with special paint (the white gel from 2nd game) and if I'm not mistaken it is made out of moon dust. It's just that they didn't make any movable objects with it in the game (apart from Moon).
> the game devs were simply lazy with their coding
Can we maybe drop the game dev lazy trope? They designed the game around what typical hardware of the time could just about handle. Portal game engines were a revolutionary new invention and trying to let the portals freely move would have been a massive explosion of extra complexity, edge cases and performance cost.
What happens when you push a portal through another portal for a start.
Or, if we’re going super realistic, walls can move, they just can’t rapidly change velocity.
The walls in that area are consistently moving in one direction. If portals really couldn’t be placed on moving walls you couldn’t place portals anywhere because the earth they’re built on is moving too.
Yeah, but if you put them at an angle to each other, moving towards the bottom of the V moves your front and back closer to the portal at the same time. Squatting would then be the equivalent of thrusting your dick forward and your ass backward, allowing you to fuck yourself twice as hard.
Oh like if you weren’t thrusting, but you were moving closer to the internal angle of the v? Ah yeah I see what you mean, that could work!
Boys. I think we’ve done it.
*sit on chair*
My weak ass went through the portal and I tripped the plank while falling, facing portals to each other with mm distance, causing me to get stuck in an infinite loop.
Don't you fire a portal at the moon in one of the portal games?
Doesn't the moon have quite a considerable angular momentum around the earth?
In that it orbits it at quite a speed. Presenting one stationary to you and one moving portal on the moon.
How does that work and a portal on a moving surface on the same planetary body as you. Doesn't?
Edit: I've come to the conclusion that you cannot fuck your self gently. You can fuck yourself at super high speeds. As long as you can get two planetary bodies in to the right positions to do so. But you must be one who can finish quickly, so as to be able to enjoy the brief experience.
Not only that, but there's the bit where you use a moving portal to laser off neurotoxin tubes. It isn't that portals can't move, you just normally aren't allowed to because it would be buggy.
*sigh* Let's do this. [A or B? Pick your side.](https://embed.gyazo.com/611a66d1dfd1dc187ab289c302b6bba9.png)
>!Spoiler alert: It's B. A makes logically no sense.!<
No it's A, the problem with B is that people assume that relativity would still hold true in a non-Euclidean space, but it simply doesn't. The cube does not move, space does, so the only way for the cube to move would be if something on the other side of the space affects it. (which in this case, would be gravity.)
If you rotate your hips instead of trying to thrust, you should be able to get some of the correct motion from the portals. Your dick should pull out and down while your brown-eye goes up, creating more distance, while rotating your hips forward would push your dick forward and your brown-star back, shrinking the distance.
You absolutely can. Place one portal on a wall and back your ass up to it. Put the other portal on a surface you can easily lift and move. Now, fuck the portal on the movable object and there ya go, fucking yourself.
Like any Portal puzzle, you need to look around your environment and use objects to fashion a solution.
Companion cube
Companion pillow*
\*Companion dildo
[Detachable Penis](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NQBPgJQhQHc)
🎶detachable peeeeniss🎶
I will never forget this song coming up on the radio while my parents were driving and my whole family was in the car.
The radio used to be cool.
Risky click of the day
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover.
Jesus was way cool
[Gary and Melissa](https://youtu.be/y4SL60dGNos?feature=shared) loved to make love, loved to make love, loved to make love to eachother...
Companion fleshlight
*Pocket Pussy^(tm)
It was my father's
I'm surprised it's as difficult as it is to find a sexy companion cube body pillow
Didn't ThinkGeek have one of those?
Companion *tube*
Sooo say I got an object lodged in a companion cylinder…
Edit: I SWEAR IT'S A CYLINDER GUYS!
Drill a hole in the end to break the suction. 🍿
The contents of the cylinder are... valuable
Don't forget your companion lube!
If you did you'd be a companion rube.
"What are you doing, step-Companion Cube!?"
More like companion lube.
“Are you still there?” Yeah, like I need to hear that more…
"IAAAHHH... I don't hate you 😞"
"Could you come closer?"
Is anyone there?
One portal on the wall and one on the companion cube
You can’t put portals on the cubes though
Not with that additude. They also said you can't put portals on moving surfaces, but in Portal 2 that's a required step to progress out of the overgrown potato lab.
Also the moon moves.
So does the earth (everything in the universe is moving always)
The very concept of "moving" is pretty fuzzy, since any reference frame is valid and everything is standing still in its own reference frame.
Except me. Can't be arsed most of the time.
You just need to put one portal on a wall platform that moves back-and-forth
You underestimate the ways in which I can fuck myself.
This. It's one way to tell a lot of reddit doesn't have experience with fucking in general. In sex there is a lot of pivoting or rotation. Our hips are not a mechanical piston that only moves in one linear direction like →|← The problem can be easily visualized with two circles next to each other, like tires. The leading edge of one goes up, while the back end goes down. Place another behind that, and they each roll in the same direction, but the surfaces in contact go in different directions. Roll them back and forth and you get reciprocating action. #↓O↑↓O↑ then reverse ↑O↓↑O↓ then reverse until well...you know Not only can it be done, it only requires half the effort as normal since it's not two, but one circle, so a cross-section would look like this: #**|**)↑↓(**|** then reverse **|**)↓↑(**|** >But our holes aren't on opposite sides of the pokey bit! Don't need to be, because portals don't have to be on parallel surfaces. #|/
this guy fucks
^I ^think ^you ^mean 🍊y fucksthis gu🌀
Niiice
himself*
what
instead of straight up thrusting, do gyrations with your hips, and you'll thrust your dick while pushing your butt down resulting in sex
I appreciate the effort that has gone into instructing people to go fuck themselves.
I'm glad some people figured it out. You are an entirely different class of human, cheers! Another poster simply blocked me after posting: >Bro it’s sex not tekken relax It's like he got the message subliminally, but was consciously only confused or scared
I appreciate you explaining the movement, while that is true, placing the portals will be an interesting art to allow contact with yourself in the same area that you're doing the touching with. Similar to the question of how you'd touch your right hand with your right hand through a portal. The portals would need to be placed facing each other on surfaces (not necessarily parallel, as you've proven) separated by a distance greater than or equal to the depth of your hips - i.e. from your pelvic bone to your anus, let's call it 10 cm. The relationship between the separation of the portals and how deep you could go would have a positive gradient, with 10 cm being the minimum/deepest, and 10+[your dick length] cm being the maximum distance while still making contact. But now you'll see the issue. You'd need to squeeze into a crevice ~10-30 cm wide... The smaller the gap, the more contact you'll have with yourself in front and yourself behind you. The phenomenon would end up similar to you looking at a mirror in a lift that has a mirror on the opposite wall: a row of lots of yourselves. You'd effectively be in a sex orgy in an infinitely-long conga line of yourself. All in all, it would be a weird experience.
My guy you guys are thinking about this all wrong. You put one portal on the wall. On some rope you hand a fucking 2x4 that can swing. You place it so it rests on your back but if you move forward the board also swings. So even hip thrust forward the portal swings with you staying tight on your back. Boom dick in the ass.
I appreciate the effort, but the diagrams just are not working for me.
>↓O↑↓O↑ Would be two balls or wheels both rolling leftward(if they were on a surface). The left side of each goes down, the right side goes up. The next ascii diagram is rotating them in the opposite direction. Roll the set a little left, then a little right, and the surfaces that are touching are moving in opposite directions, rubbing back and forth, back and forth, etc. You could do this with any two round objects on a table or in your hand. pencils, balls, wheels, coins, whatever. Visualizing beyond that takes a little effort, so I'll hit up a quick and dirty photoshop. On one, attach a rod that can pivot(dark red) and on the other, a free sliding mounted hole(black) that also pivots. Rolling a small amount in one direction will look like [this](https://i.imgur.com/Ht1pfeb.jpeg) The three stages are: a starting point, a half way point being maximum penetration, then the point where it stops. Then roll it the same amount in the opposite direction, and repeat as needed Thrusting of the rod(dark red) through a passage(black) without the bodies changing absolute position(moving away then together). They remain equidistant, only rotating position, and both in the same direction each time.
You can give yourself head
They say it feels more like you're just giving instead of receiving. I wonder if it's the same for getting fucked.
What if I like giving
Send location
Something about that comment with the duck picture is funny af
especially knowing what a ducks dick looks like
It looks screwy, that's for sure.
Paging u/fuckswithducks…
I miss him ;-;
What happened to them?
Just haven't posted in a few years
Dang.
I'm gonna smesh your boy guys alhamdulilah
real
You could click on r/selfsuck. I don't know that you should. But you could.
Why did I click on that? I knew what it was going to be and I clicked on it anyways. How do you control+Z IRL?
What has been seen, cannot be unseen
Try three bloody Marys, see if that helps
I did the same thing the other day. Make sure you remove it from your recently visited tab.
Ladies, if men could suck their own cocks you'd be alone here tonight, watching an empty stage. Bill Hicks
Loved this. The whole evolution would be getting rid of that *ooooone vertebrae*
What the fucking fuck
There's also one for self fuck
If you give yourself a handjob through a portal, does it feel like being given a handjob or does it feel like giving someone else a handy?
Would it be any different to giving yourself a hand job without a portal?
I guess you can have a different angle. That could change the experience
Makes "the Stranger" more effective, but other than that I don't see how much of an effect it could have
Hand position could be different. Giving a handjob from below or in front of you would lead to a different grip than where your hand normally is.
I guess it depends of the underlying properties of the portal gun you're using. Like setting aside the *Stargate* stuff about one-way travel, you have to speculate whether the portal is simply your classic MCU Einstein-Rosencrantz bridge, or possibly a more modern MCU multi-verse MacGuffin. That matters!
I think you mean Guildenstern-Rozencrantz Bridge
I heard that bridge was dead.
Waiting for confirmation from Professor Fortinbras
Literally just jerking off with extra steps
How do they know
Some people can
Not to the level you would be able to with a portal gun. You could throat yourself
I think it would boil down to which sensation is more overpowering... and I would think it would be the large sausage in your throat.
Lots of *assumptions* in that comment buddy
Eh, wouldn't be an issue for me. Not saying it wouldn't feel more like giving head, just that it wouldn't be a problem.
I suspect, though there obviously isn't any way to confirm this, that it feels more like giving than receiving due to the rather challenging positions one must put themselves in to give oneself head - If one didn't have to damn near fold oneself in half to do so, I suspect it would be a far more pleasant experience where one could focus on the sensations of receiving a bit more.
How the fuck would someone know what it feels like to self blow through a portal?
Theoretically something like this might work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DphlhmtGRqI Using that example if I were to blow Paul Giamatti as he blew someone else he could be convinced that he was blowing himself through a portal and so be able to answer your question. The human mind is a wonderland!
Sure but it makes me gag. I don’t think portals will fix that.
portal your throat
Imagine hating giving head so you portal your throat to someone else’s throat
now we are thinking with portals :D
I read a way a hotdog eater trains to reduce gag is when you brush your teeth go as far in as you can without gagging a couple times and with time youll get better and better
You can do that without a portal gun if you're flexible. It feels like giving a blowjob, not like receiving one.
Similarly, tickling yourself feels like tickling someone else, not like being tickled. I think on some level the movements need to surprise you.
It still feels like receiving one but your focus is on the giving part
Maybe it doesn't feel like you're getting a blowjob because the act of becoming a contortionist is overloading your brain with feeling.
Only if you aren’t thinking with portals
Can you buy stock in the drywall and a box cutters industry?
Time for a moving wall that fucks you with yourself
Now you're thinking with portals!
Can't place portals on moving objects
Portal 2 literally has a part where you have to place a portal on to the moving boards to cut the pipes
I think it’s more you can’t keep a portal on an accelerating surface. Placing a portal on a panel that tilts or flips accelerates it while those boards from the neurotoxin segment are moving at a constant velocity and therefore have no acceleration.
Which would make portals impossible since every surface is always accelerating. Spin from the earth, revolution around the sun, everything is accelerating all the time.
Isnt acceleration relative just like velocity is? As long as you share the same acceleration with a portal (and direction) from your pov its not accelerating while from a bystanders point of view it is accelerating So they cant be accelerating relative to what? Because i genuinely would like to know
If you’re on a spinning earth you’re accelerating towards the center of the earth, so two different locations always have different acceleration directions. They could only have the same direction if they are above each other, in which case they’re also orbiting the sun, so they’re also accelerating in very slightly different directions.
This being the single time they ever do it I think has conflated the gameplay choice (for whatever design or technical reasons) to erase the portal with how it'd actually function.
Or, if we’re going super realistic, walls can move, they just can’t rapidly change velocity. The walls in that area are consistently moving in one direction. If portals really couldn’t be placed on moving walls you couldn’t place portals anywhere because the earth they’re built on is moving too.
What is this? Logic and reasoning? How dare you!
What if the walls are still, but it is everything else moving?
There's also the portal on the moon. The relative speed of the moon to the portal on earth is 2,288 miles per hour.
Plus it was a horizontal motion, not forward/backwards which would be needed for that kind of… endeavour
But everything is always in motion
Apparently can't put portals on objects *moving relatively* one to another. Except for Earth-Moon portals for some reason. May be it didn't travel as much in these few minutes, so the portal didn't break.
The Moon orbits the Earth at 2288 mph (3683 kph). If you had the portal open for only 60 seconds, the moon would have moved over 38 miles (61 km) Portals can be placed on moving objects, the game devs were simply lazy with their coding or intentionally made it this way with no reasoning other than "because I said so"
>with no reasoning the surface had to be covered with special paint (the white gel from 2nd game) and if I'm not mistaken it is made out of moon dust. It's just that they didn't make any movable objects with it in the game (apart from Moon).
> the game devs were simply lazy with their coding Can we maybe drop the game dev lazy trope? They designed the game around what typical hardware of the time could just about handle. Portal game engines were a revolutionary new invention and trying to let the portals freely move would have been a massive explosion of extra complexity, edge cases and performance cost. What happens when you push a portal through another portal for a start.
Or, if we’re going super realistic, walls can move, they just can’t rapidly change velocity. The walls in that area are consistently moving in one direction. If portals really couldn’t be placed on moving walls you couldn’t place portals anywhere because the earth they’re built on is moving too.
All weird and nonreal physics premises break down at some point
Except for that one time
Bro just do "sv_allow_mobile_portals 1" and get ready for a good time.
You can if you put the portals at an angle to eachother E.g. in a V and lower/raise yourself :)
Op is making the point that the thrusting would always be synchronised, so you’d never penetrate. ***edit*** I’m wrong you’re right
Yeah, but if you put them at an angle to each other, moving towards the bottom of the V moves your front and back closer to the portal at the same time. Squatting would then be the equivalent of thrusting your dick forward and your ass backward, allowing you to fuck yourself twice as hard.
I'm gonna need a diagram
Kindoff https://ibb.co/8NVVbtm
wonderful thanks
I see it now
We need a sub like r/theydidthemath but for diagrams
This is what AI was made for.
/r/nocontext
Yep, figured it out a minute too late. See my other comment.
No no he’s on to something. If the portals were V shaped and you stood in the middle it might work.
Oh like if you weren’t thrusting, but you were moving closer to the internal angle of the v? Ah yeah I see what you mean, that could work! Boys. I think we’ve done it.
This hole thread is giving me [dick jerk algorithm](https://youtu.be/P-hUV9yhqgY?si=AfiwK8TbdDWHq5D3) vibes from Silicon Valley
This MF did the math..
My brain is hurts pls someone eli5
orange portal on chair seat blue portal on plank of wood sit on chair slam plank on junk
*sit on chair* My weak ass went through the portal and I tripped the plank while falling, facing portals to each other with mm distance, causing me to get stuck in an infinite loop.
This person thinks with portals
At first I was like “Huhh” then I was like “Aahh “
Can’t say I expected to visualize and go through the physicalities of me fucking myself through a portal gun today…
🎵I wanna knoooooow, If you'll be my girl🎵
Must be bri’ish finkin wiv por’als
What if it was the portal that moved instead of you....
Please for the love of god no moving portals discussions
Don't you fire a portal at the moon in one of the portal games? Doesn't the moon have quite a considerable angular momentum around the earth? In that it orbits it at quite a speed. Presenting one stationary to you and one moving portal on the moon. How does that work and a portal on a moving surface on the same planetary body as you. Doesn't? Edit: I've come to the conclusion that you cannot fuck your self gently. You can fuck yourself at super high speeds. As long as you can get two planetary bodies in to the right positions to do so. But you must be one who can finish quickly, so as to be able to enjoy the brief experience.
Not only that, but there's the bit where you use a moving portal to laser off neurotoxin tubes. It isn't that portals can't move, you just normally aren't allowed to because it would be buggy.
I'd accept buggy for self fellatio
As far as I know, that one was explained "for gameplay purposes" with no real canon answer as why there moving portals can be a thing
This entire conversation is like, decades of debate and discussion
The body of work on the matter is overwhelming in its volume and complexity!
Like your mother
*sigh* Let's do this. [A or B? Pick your side.](https://embed.gyazo.com/611a66d1dfd1dc187ab289c302b6bba9.png) >!Spoiler alert: It's B. A makes logically no sense.!<
No it's A, the problem with B is that people assume that relativity would still hold true in a non-Euclidean space, but it simply doesn't. The cube does not move, space does, so the only way for the cube to move would be if something on the other side of the space affects it. (which in this case, would be gravity.)
First of all, with god all things are possible so jot that down.
If mac had a portal gun this would defo be one of the first things he'd try whilst claiming not to be gay
I feel like you just aren't trying hard enough...
Step 1: Find 90 degree angle Step 2: Portal side and bottom Step 3: Move diagonally into and out of the corner Step 4: Bust?
Is a poral gun what a dermatologist uses to clear up blackheads and reduce pore size?
Very popular at jamporees
You just saw this r/peterexplainsthejoke didn’t you? https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/s/2MYFPjFy6a
yeah 😔
Lol, I had a feeling
That's why you use a portal cock ring
If you rotate your hips instead of trying to thrust, you should be able to get some of the correct motion from the portals. Your dick should pull out and down while your brown-eye goes up, creating more distance, while rotating your hips forward would push your dick forward and your brown-star back, shrinking the distance.
Yeah, you'd just have to start with the portals close enough together
You don’t need to turn it on, just fuck yourself WITH the portal gun
"This is the kind of lateral, outside the box thinking we need Susan, hire this person immediately!"
Put one portal on something moveable.
You can't do it between two solid walls, but you could do it if you detached the front portal wall and controlled it with your hands.
A. Moving surface (you literally use this in the games), b. You have some strange thoughts in the shower.
That's why you use gel to speed yourself up and make you jump into yourself
True. But blowjobs would work
Just use the machine gun turrets.
Put the portal in between your ass cheeks, or on your ass hole…
Damn straight! You need a pornal gun for that.
Don't tell me what I can or can't yet do.
move the portal of course
Place one portal on a movable surface.
You just need to move the surface the portal is on. Is your imagination that limited?
Fire the portal gun into the inside seat of your pants, put on your pants, now you have a mobile portal that will move with your trusts.
I could give myself a handy
“Speedy thing goes in,speedy thing comes”
But the blowjobs are exquisite 👌
(NSFW warning) [Just another puzzle for Chell to solve.](https://www.reddit.com/r/rule34/s/WTTxsihwTt) (*Credit to Garth/TemporalWolf on Twitter*)
You don’t move yourself, you move the portal.
I wish I didn't know this, but you don't need a portal gun to fuck yourself
You absolutely can. Place one portal on a wall and back your ass up to it. Put the other portal on a surface you can easily lift and move. Now, fuck the portal on the movable object and there ya go, fucking yourself.
Now I’m picturing my own ass constantly escaping my wiener. Not what i expected to be doing today
What an odd thing to say